Disclaimer- I don't own the games or the show.

Who's ready for Beaver Fever?

Shadow stared at the piece of sour candy on the floor, it being too close for comfort. He looked at Metal. "If you spit anything on me, I'm breaking everything in you."

The former robot couldn't blame him. "I understand. You are perfectly within reason." Metal dug into his candy bag and searched for a treat that didn't feel like he just shoved a taser into his mouth.

While he did that, Sonic looked at the bag mournfully. It was such a giant stash, and it's unfair that he couldn't have any. "Are you sure that you don't want to share, Metal?"

"Yes." Metal was too busy searching through his treats to notice Sonic's mischievous smirk. "Wallow in your sorrows while I-" he interrupted himself with a loud yelp when Sonic tackled him, both hedgehogs crashing to the ground. The bag went flying, and candy was flung all over the floor.

"Free candy!" Sonic grinned victoriously as he pinned a squirming Metal to the ground, straddling his back. "Get your free candy!" Tails, Amy, and Knuckles wasted no time in scavenging the sugary snacks. Eggman scooped up some that landed by him, Shadow doing the same.

Metal was appalled as his supply dwindled. Those savages. He attempted to zap Sonic with his heat vision, but he couldn't at this angle. This was utterly barbaric for candy, and the fox just took the last caramel chocolate bar. A heavy weight settled in his gut; he believed this was what sadness felt like.

A growl leaked into his voice as he flutily wiggled under his copy. "If you don't get off me now, I will consider rejoining the doctor's pathetic side."

Eggman decided to let that comment slide as he unwrapped some taffy.

Sonic snickered. "We all know that you won't do that anyway, but 'kay!" He hopped off Metal and snagged some treats for himself. There was still plenty left for downed hedgehog to enjoy; he wasn't that heartless. He just believed that sharing was an important life lesson.

Metal sat up once he was freed, thinking about melting all of the treats the others had stolen from them. He scrapped that idea, however. The candy did not deserve that.

Instead, he retrieved the bag and started to place the remaining candies into it, hoping that his body wasn't showing his disappointment. He had to be wary of emotions now, unfortunately.

Metal then paused when he picked up a mint chocolate bar, remembering that the fox had a preference for this flavor. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Tails getting ready to unwrap the caramel chocolate candy. That would not do.

Metal marched over to him and held out his offering. "Trade with me."

Tails blinked, startled, before perking up. "Oh! Is that a mint chocolate bar? I must've missed it! Yeah, sure! Which one do you-"

"Nah uh! Hold up, Tails," Sonic butted in with a smirk. Metal hated where this was going already. "I think that sounded a bit rude. Ames, Knux, don't you agree?"

Knuckles nodded, pulling a lollipop out of his mouth. "Oh definitely."

"You'd think that someone would be nicer when asking for something," Amy quipped before biting into a peanut butter cup.

Tails was going to trade with Metal anyway because he really wanted that mint chocolate bar, but considering what Metal's done to them in the past…

Tails grinned. "If you want it, you're going to have to say the magic word!"

Sonic was so proud. He had raised him well.

When Metal stared blankly down at him, not answering, Tails reminded himself that the former bot might not understand the common phrases they used. He gave a hint. "It rhymes with sneeze!"

"Do not patronize me, kit. I know what you want me to say," Metal crisply retorted. "I am determining whether or not the chocolate bar is worth humiliating myself for."

Sonic smirked. "It is, and you know it, Mets. Go ahead and spit it out."

Metal hated that he was right.

Ignoring all of the jeering eyes on him, Metal forced himself to ask, "Trade with me…please?" He felt dirty, almost. It was just so unnatural that he, a being so magnificent and intimidating, had been reduced to asking instead of taking-

"Sure!"

Metal decided it was extremely worth it.

Sonic chuckled as they traded candies, Metal returning to his seat. "See, that wasn't so hard!" The other blue hedgehog ignored him as he enjoyed his well-earned chocolate. "How does it feel to be nice?"

"Disgusting."

"It'll grow on you!"

"Like a rash."

"Alright. Keep up with that negativity, and I'm gonna start calling you Shadow."

Both Metal and Shadow glared at him. "Don't."

"Just a little warning."

Disregarding how everyone was chatting it up with his robot that he was supposed to conquer the world with (who was neither on his side nor a robot anymore, funny how his life was a constant downward spiral), Eggman felt physically sick when the name of the next episode popped up on the TV.

"Battle of the Boy Bands" it read.

"Why?" he asked, all of his future torture and turmoil captured in that one word.

"Huh?" Tails took a break from devouring his mint candy and followed the doctor's line of sight. "Oh."

Knuckles let out an explosive sigh. "There's going to be singing and dancing in this, isn't there? Didn't we have enough of that last episode?" He'd rather not see Eggman breakdance again.

Sonic stopped chewing his gummy bears, having a sinking feeling in his gut. "Singing and dancin' I'm fine with, but I have a good guess to who's doing it…"

Knuckles ran a hand down his face. "I swear, if any of the team gets involved, they aren't allowed in this dimension ever."

"Not even Mittens?" Tails asked.

"Especially him."

"Where is your bleach, Tails? I want to be prepared."

"I…don't think I should answer that, Shadow."

Amy giggled at the negativity permeating the room. "Come on, guys! We don't know if its even about that yet!" It totally was, and she was kinda looking forward to it, but she could stand for a little more optimism. "It can be something completely different!"

"Yeah." Knuckles grunted. "Your twin's singing and juggling act might make a reappearance."

Amy's giggles died off. She played the episode, hoping that they were spared of that train wreck.

The scene began with Soar holding a microphone and staring into a camera. "Breaking news! An epidemic is spreading across the globe: Beaver Fever!"

Tails slowly blinked. "Well, that took a turn…"

"We all saw the name of the episode. Don't get happy yet." Knuckles wanted to be relieved, but unless the plot of this was about a virus making people singing and dancing zombies, he was keeping his hopes low.

A crowd watching him on TV warily backed away from the beaver with the bow tie.

Knuckles snorted. "People should do that twenty-four seven."

On the screen, Soar explained, "I'm not talking about an actual disease, of course. I'm colorfully describing the mania surrounding teen singing sensation, Justin Beaver!"

Sonic perked up a bit at that. "Wait, you might be right, Ames. It might be all about this singin' beaver."

"Bands as in plural, Faker. More than one." Shadow corrected. "Being optimistic brings nothing but suffering."

The blue hedgehog rolled his eyes. "So does being pessimistic!"

"Being pessimistic leaves you either right or pleasantly surprised by the outcome."

"But you're never happy!"

"A fair trade."

A picture of a young blue beaver popped up. Then, footage of his concerts played as Soar talked. "Girls everywhere are going gaga for this teen heartthrob! They just can't get enough of him!"

"Ugh." Amy groaned, gesturing at the screen. "What in the word do they see in him? He's scrawny, and he really should think about dyeing his fur because that shade of blue does not work for him."

Knuckles rose a brow at her. "Funny you say that when you chase after Sonic every other day."

Tails stifled his laughter while Metal didn't even try to hide it.

Eggman gave a brief applause.

Shadow tossed the echidna a tootsie roll. "Here. You've earned this."

Knuckles mentally patted himself on the back. "Thanks."

Amy loudly sputtered. "I didn't – that doesn't-!"

Ignoring the cackling from Metal and the betrayal from his little bro, Sonic hastily defended his excellent body condition. "I am not scrawny, Knux! I'm aerodynamic! There's a difference."

"Is there?"

"Yes!"

"Metal doesn't think so."

Sonic huffed, glancing at the hedgehog who was enjoying the false comment a little too much. "Why are you even laughin', Mets? You look exactly like me!"

Metal decided that he loved the feeling of laughter, especially at the expense of his copy. "This was not a choice. Your scrawny arms on the other hand…"

Sonic gaped.

Feeling bad, Amy smiled reassuringly at him. "Don't listen to them, Sonic! You're the most toned guy I know!"

Knuckles scoffed, proud of his own build. "Now you're just lying to him."

"I…" Amy faced Sonic, an idea forming in her head. "Let me feel your muscles! Then I know for sure-"

"Y'know what? Let's just drop the subject cuz I know I'm right," Sonic hastily said. His voice may or may have gone a pitch higher.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll just kick Knuckles with my scrawny legs when we get outta here."

The echidna smirked at the challenge. "Bring it on, string bean."

Sonic believed that he was at least a tough piece of celery, but he wasn't going to continue this wrong argument.

Soar was back on screen, subtly frowning. "And suddenly, dad the anchor bird isn't cool anymore. Well, maybe Justin Beaver will foot the bill for private school instead of buying those golf clubs he really wanted!"

Swallowing his laughter before Sonic could get any revenge on him, Tails frowned as he finished off his chocolate. "Aw, I kinda feel bad for him."

Amy nodded. She looked at the kit and blinked at the melted mess all around his mouth. "Uh, Tails?" When he gazed curiously at her, she continued, "You got a little something…everywhere."

Glancing down at his messy gloves, Tails made the connection. He let out a few embarrassed chuckles. "Oops…" He wiped one corner of his mouth, only smearing the chocolate there farther across his cheek. "Did I get it all?"

Amy deadpanned. "Tails, you ate that thing like it was your last meal. Do you really think you got it all?"

"…I'll take that as a no." Tails resisted the urge to gasp in surprise when a box of wet napkins landed in his lap. "Oh, uh…thank you?" he said unsurely because he wasn't used to the thing being so helpful.

Knuckles narrowed his eyes. "First giving Metal an actual body, and now free wet naps? It has to be buttering us up for something."

"Or it isn't and you're makin' it want to," Sonic retorted. Things have been moderately peaceful lately, and he wanted to keep it that way. "It's like you want to be stuck in a time loop or somethin'."

The flashbacks made Shadow shudder.

"Wha-? I don't!" Knuckles stared up at the ceiling and emphasized, "I don't."

Sonic smirked. "I know that being paranoid is like your second job, but cool it, 'kay? Maybe since this is the home stretch, it's cutting us some slack."

"Hopefully," Knuckles muttered under his breath. If it wanted to be nice, it could set them free right now. He wasn't going to say that though. He didn't want to push their fragile luck.

Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, and Sticks were part of the crowd, watching. The badger wasn't impressed. "Just what this world needs, another cookie cutter pop star forced to us by the man!"

Amy wanted to be impressed, but, "I'm glad that Sticks wasn't fangirling about this Justin guy, but all pop stars aren't that bad…"

"Everything is that bad for Sticks," Knuckles replied.

Sonic agreed as the team walked away. "You're right. This Beaver Fever thing is clearly just a marketing ploy to sell substandard music to gullible teenage girls." He scoffed. "Who could possibly fall for it?"

Clean now, Tails noticed the lack of a pink hedgehog and muttered, "The only team member who isn't there…"

Amy refused to believe that her twin would stoop that low.

Amy suddenly ran up to them, wearing a Justin shirt and holding similar merchandise. "Isn't Justin great?"

Amy held her head in her hands, wondering why every single beaver in that dimension loved to make things worse. The beaver with a bow tie, Dave, and now Justin! Did those buck-teeth make them so insecure that they took their anger out on other people?!

"I'm surprised she's all gaga for him considering she basically has another skinny blue-furred rodent as a boyfriend."

"Watch it, Knux. I still need to get payback from that below-the-belt kick."

"That wasn't my fault. It was all you."

Sonic inwardly winced at the remembrance of the pain, chewing on red licorice and pouting, "It was your leg…"

Amy's smile was a little too wide. "When I listened to his first song 'Girl, I like you', I wasn't sure if Justin was actually talking about me, but then, his next song was titled 'Yes, I'm actually talking about you', and I like totally freaked out!"

Please don't let the entire episode be like this, Eggman thought before frowning. "She's crazier than normal."

Tails nodded. "She's worse than Sticks right now, and that's saying a lot…"

Sticks was concerned. "How can you allow yourself to become a pawn of the corporate fat cats?"

Amy wasn't bothered at all. "Before you judge, just listen to one track! I don't want to overhype it-" She threw her things into the air, hysterically giggling. "-but he's the greatest entertainer who ever lived!"

Metal's ears folded downwards to avoid damage from her screeching. "Someone needs to turn her off immediately. She can't produce those sounds if she's unconscious."

Amy understood why he was saying it – she had never been that bad, right? – but he should have learned his lesson about pain by now. "Metal, doing so would hurt-"

"Use chloroform. She may struggle, but the process is painless."

Shadow nodded. "He's right."

Amy glanced between the two hedgehogs, slightly worried about the general health of…everyone. "Okay, you two aren't allowed to team up like ever."

Neither boys responded to her, and her concern marginally grew.

Now in Amy's shack, music filled the air.

"Girl, it's time that I told you about my serious condition."

Amy was giddy while the rest looked like they would rather be anywhere else.

"I can't stop thinking about you, had to call a physician."

While Amy danced, Sonic groaned and turned off the boombox. "That was terrible."

Tails' whole body was cringing, wishing that the last ten seconds never happened. "You can say that again! Was that seriously him singing?"

Knuckles crunched down on his lollipop. "You could've told me that someone was raking their nails on a chalkboard to background music, and I would've believed you."

Amy shook her head in disbelief. "Everyone is addicted to that? Those poor, poor girls…"

"I take pity on their families." Eggman didn't have sympathy for people often, but he was sure this song – among others – was played on repeat in many households.

"I'm just…" Sonic didn't understand at all. "People actually pay money for that?"

Tails reluctantly nodded. "Apparently…"

Knuckles shuddered. "I finally have a soundtrack for my nightmares."

Knuckles agreed wholeheartedly.

"I…" Sticks thought for a second before bouncing in her seat. "Love it!"

"What?!" echoed around the room.

Shadow had made a conscious effort to pay no attention to the noisy badger, but he knew enough to say, "The music has to be unnaturally affecting them. There is no other reason to why she would listen to something equivalent to a blazing pile of shit."

Sonic slowly blinked. "I don't want to say you're right, but you're not wrong…?"

Amy smiled. "I knew that I could rely on Sticks to be the voice of reason!"

"I'm surprised that their whole world didn't collapse upon itself at that statement," Knuckles uttered.

"That would technically be impossible." Metal nodded. "But I agree."

Tails wasn't on the same wavelength. "We're through the looking glass here, people. White is black, and black is white…"

"Took the words right out of my mouth…" Tails tapped his chin, pondering. "Something is seriously wrong here."

All Eggman wanted was his twin to not be the cause of it.

The pinkette couldn't keep still. "Wait until you hear the rest of the album!" She laughed, and Sticks joined in with her. It was loud and high-pitched.

Everyone hastily covered their ears, and Sonic groaned. "I'd rather have the air horn than this!"

"If I've ever sounded like that, I'm so so sorry…" Amy whined.

"Hey Sticks, you're still on for rock climbing tomorrow?" Sonic asked.

"Uh, sure, whatever."

Then the girls went back to squealing.

Knuckles felt a headache coming on. No one should be tortured like this. "I will bet anything that she's not going rock climbing." Sticks was too busy blowing out peoples' eardrums.

Later on, the boys were walking into the badger's burrow. "Hello, Sticks?" Sonic called out, Knuckles and Tails trailing him. "You ready to go?"

They stopped in their tracks at the abundance of Justin cups, banners, flags, pictures, and other merch scattered around the place.

"Yeah, if she didn't need a therapist before, she definitely needs one now." Sonic gazed at all of the stuff, slightly terrified. "Obsessing about one person that much has gotta be unhealthy."

Amy chose not to comment.

Knuckles frowned. "What happened in here?"

Sticks suddenly ran up to them, startling the trio. "I turned my burrow into a totes adorbs tribute to Justin!"

"Totes…" Amy began incredulously, "Somebody please help her."

"Oh…" Sonic put a hand on his hip, eyes wide. "Is that what's going on here?"

"Sticks! Sticks!" Amy, still wearing a Justin shirt, sprinted into the home with energetic waves. She stopped in front of the badger. "You're not gonna believe it! Justin Beaver is in town, and he's doing a signing at the music shop right now!" They screeched.

Tails sunk in his seat, whimpering. "The music has to be doing something to them! Those sounds they are making are so unnatural!"

Sonic protected his ears as much as he could, but the shrill voices still hit like a truck. "I blame Knuckles for this! He called out the thing being nice, and look what happened!"

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "This just proved that I was right! The candy is a poor excuse of a distraction from this nonsense!"

"Do not insult the candy," Metal chastised, narrowing his eyes. "They have done nothing to you."

Knuckles didn't have a response to that.

Amy continued, "And, he'll be performing a concert at village center this weekend!" They screeched again, causing the boys to cover their ears.

"You really need to stop doing that," Sonic groused.

Shadow honestly would have slapped them at this point to shut them up.

Overly giddy, Sticks asked, "What should we wear?"

"I was thinking about wearing the one outfit that I own!"

"Me too!"

They squealed before running off.

Disregarding the mind-numbing shrieks, Amy mused about what was just said. "Huh…I've never thought about it before, but she and Sticks really do only wear one outfit…" It was unsurprising for Sticks because she was…Sticks, but her twin?

Tails massaged his ears. "Well, technically the other Amy has two now because of that Justin shirt."

"She better burn that by the end of this." Amy huffed. "Everything about this beaver needs to be erased, and black does not flatter her at all."

Sonic rolled his eyes, addressing Knuckles and Tails, "I can understand Amy fangirling out, but Sticks? There's something fishy about this Beaver Fever…" He tapped his chin. "We need to investigate."

"Please do…" Knuckles sighed out, chewing on some chocolate-covered peanuts. "And don't talk to Amy or Sticks again until you're done."

The scene changed to the village center where there was a long line of girls waiting at a booth. Team Sonic was watching from afar.

A ferret with a red checkered hat and glasses was speaking over soft music. "I hope you ladies are ready because here he is! The boy who'd sweep you off your feet if he didn't have such tiny little arms, your favorite global pop phenomenon: Justin Beaver!"

The teenage beaver walked out of a building, waving to everyone. The women went crazy as he sat at the booth with a wink.

Sonic winced, wanting to curl into himself to escape this horror. "How is no one deaf because of that?!"

"Apparently those females had gained the power to scream like banshees without growing hoarse or damaging their ear drums." Metal found comfort in Fun Dip. "They are dangerous."

Justin signed a piece of paper and held it out to a female fox. "You're the only fan I care about." He did the same for a purple bandicoot with a red bandana. "You're the only fan I care about." And for Lady Walrus as well. "You're the only fan I care about."

Tails frowned. "There's definitely something up with his music because they shouldn't fall for that!"

"Shouldn't is the key word there," Knuckles grumbled. "Think it's some kind of mind control?"

"It has to be! Otherwise, the whole village really needs professional help."

Sonic glanced over to the doctor. "Do you think that its your double workin' behind the scenes, Eggy?"

Eggman was rubbing his temples, the dull pain there not caused by the rodents in the room for once. "I hope not because this plan is completely atrocious. I wouldn't stoop so low to use substandard musicians to control people. I would do it myself without the screeching!"

The heroes released a relieved sigh.

Sonic gave him a thumbs up. "Thanks for having standards, Egghead."

Of course. What was the point of ruling the world if he went deaf in the process?

She put a hand on her forehead. "Be my baby!" And collapsed to the ground.

Shadow deadpanned as he finished the rest of his gummy worms. "Doesn't she have a child?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Amy answered with a disappointed frown.

The hat-wearing ferret sighed. "Just step over her." Then he muttered to himself, "We're not selling enough merch." He yelled at a cat dj-ing off to the side, "Turn up the track!"

He did. The females screamed and hastily bought more CDs, shouting all the while.

"That proves it!" Tails miraculously yelled over the noise. "The music's making them all bonkers!"

"Well, the heroes need to hurry the hell up and fix the problem because I can only take so much." Knuckles would willingly – somehow – cross dimensions and deal with it himself if need be. There would be smashed CDs and broken stereos if he got involved.

Sonic narrowed his eyes. "Whatever's going on, that guy's behind it."

The boys went to approach the booth, but a large hippo slid in their way. He held out a halting hand. "Music industry professionals only."

Knuckles heavily exhaled. "And…there it is."

"I mean…" Tails didn't understand why girls could get stuff signed while the boys had to be actual musicians to approach the booth, but he digressed. "I know that I don't have any rhythm or know how to carry a tune, but maybe my twin can?"

Sonic understood where the kit was coming from. "Yeah, maybe them starting a group won't be so bad. My double can dance – not as good as me, but still – the other Tails might have some talent, and the other Knuckles…"

Knuckles gave him a level stare. "Don't tell me that you think he can sing or dance to save his life."

As long as Amy's twin didn't start singing, she was down for this. "He might surprise you, Knuckles!"

"He can't read."

"Yeah, well…"

Knuckles scoffed. "Don't worry, I got this!" He pulled a trumpet out of nowhere and began to play it…badly. The hippo didn't look impressed.

Knuckles' expression screamed I told you so. "This is going to be a disaster."

Tails glanced at Sonic and whispered, "How are we gonna convince this guy we're in the music biz?"

Sonic smirked. "I know just what to do."

Sonic felt a little better at how sure his twin was. "This'll work out, guys! Did you hear how confident he sounded? They have to know something we don't!"

Amy giggled. "Yeah, maybe they have some kind of musical background!"

"Considering the sounds that came out of that trumpet, I doubt it." Knuckles braced himself for what's to come. "And confidence doesn't mean anything! You can be confident all you want that you'll learn how to make ice cream out of thin air, but you can't!"

"Not with that attitude," Sonic and Amy muttered.

"Whatever performance they do cannot be worse than the demonic screeches those females make," Metal said. "I would gladly listen to the echidna's terrible trumpet than them."

Knuckles sighed again. "I guess you're right."

"I know I am."

The trio were now in Sonic's shack. He exclaimed, "We'll form our very own boy band!"

Tails rose a brow. "Did you really have to bring us all the way down here to finish that sentence?"

"Reaching new levels of annoyance, I'm not surprised," Shadow murmured.

Sonic heard him. "I think it's kinda funny! Keeps people on their toes, you know? Like this one time…" he trailed off when everyone was looking at him, listening.

A few seconds passed of awkward silence.

Shadow glared. "I hate you."

"Seconded," Metal said while Eggman took a calming breath.

Tails was more astonished than anything. "I…can't believe we all just fell for that."

Knuckles shook his head when Sonic started to laugh. "I'm angrier at myself than him."

Amy pouted because it actually seemed like an interesting story Sonic was about to start. She gave the blue hero a pointed stare. "That's never going to work again, you know!"

Sonic snickered. "I just wanted to see if I could pull it off!" He gave himself props for that one.

"A boy band?" Knuckles questioned. "We'll lose our street cred! What about our machismo?" Then he hummed, smiling. "Hm…cheese-mo."

Knuckles resisted the urge to facepalm. "Just why is he…" He changed course because the 'why' would never be answered. "He wasn't that stupid when he was here, right? He was dumb, but not that dumb."

Tails twiddled his thumbs. "Well…he did think that someone was trying to take the Chaos emerald from him using slow-motion."

"Yeah." Knuckles didn't know why he thought differently. "Yeah, he did."

Sonic didn't look happy about it either. "I know, but if we wanna find out what's going on with the girls, we're going to have to man up."

"By doing the complete opposite?" Amy asked.

Tails wasn't completely on board just yet. "And by 'man up', you mean rehearse a choreographed dance routine in matching sequined outfits?"

She felt extremely validated.

Knuckles wasn't as positive. "They have to wear matching outfits too?"

Metal nodded. "In order to catch the attention of those brainless consumer zombies, yes. At least they are not singing."

"Yet."

"Exactly!" Sonic affirmed. "It's gonna take a lot of hard work, so we better get started."

The very next scene was them dancing perfectly in sync wearing matching white outfits and microphones. Sonic ended up sliding on his knees when the song ended.

"Huh." Sonic hadn't thought that it would be a disaster, but it was better than expected. "They aren't half bad! Even your twin, Knux!"

Knuckles reluctantly agreed, but, "Half bad still doesn't mean that I want to watch it."

"I do!" Amy was completely invested at this point. The other Tails was adorable, the other Knuckles was…Knuckles, and the other Sonic knew exactly what he was doing. "And it looked easy enough to do, too! Maybe you guys could-"

"No." Knuckles shut that down immediately.

Tails wasn't for it either. "Did you not hear me when I said that can't sing or dance…?"

"You can learn!"

Sonic waved the giddy pinkette off. "Even if we all had the talent, I don't think it'd be a good idea to start a band. It's too much responsibility, I've got too many fangirls as is-" He was careful to avert his gaze. "-and it would cut into my beat-the-crap-out-of-Eggman time!"

The doctor rolled his eyes and muttered, "Oh, if you want to be trapped in the cursed world of show business, don't let me stop you."

Amy subtly slumped, but she wasn't too disappointed. She could always daydream.

Sonic was impressed with himself. "That was way easier than I thought."

Behind him, Tails brought up, "Now, we just have to pick a name!"

Tails furrowed his brow. "Is Team Sonic not a good enough name?"

On second thought, maybe it was a good idea that they weren't taking the musical route. Amy tisked. "Of course not! The name has to be showier and more eye-catching so you'll get noticed!"

"I'm sure that anything with Sonic in the name would grab attention."

"No, that's…" Amy trailed off. "Nevermind, you're right."

The speedster checked his communicator/watch. "Well, we still got a little montage time left."

Metal rose a brow. "Montage time?" Usually only the watchers call time lapses montages, not the ones experiencing the time lapse.

He sucked on a ring pop. Interesting.

Music started playing as Sonic crumpled up a sheet of paper and tossed it in the trash. A hanging clock showed time whizzing by. Knuckles perked up like he had an idea, but then he slumped because he actually didn't.

Another piece of paper was thrown in the trash. Tails was writing an equation on a chalk board, but he shook his head and erased part of it.

Sonic snickered. "Is it really that hard?"

"It's an art!" Amy retorted. "It has to be perfect because the name follows you for life! It'll be engraved on your gravestone, written in history books!"

"Aren't you bein' a little dramatic?"

"Nope!"

More paper went in the trash, it filling up. Calendar pages were constantly floating down now.

Tails was confused. "Are months really going by?"

The music cut when Sonic yelled, "Knuckles, stop tearing pages off that calendar!"

Knuckles whirled around, pages in hand. "Okay, fine!"

"I guess that answers that."

The blue hedgehog gestured to the papers on the table. "We're supposed to be thinking of band names!"

Knuckles frowned in thought. "I was saving this name for if I ever formed a band, but how about…" He grinned. "Dude-itude?"

Knuckles was marginally impressed, a rarity when it came to this show. "It's not a terrible name."

"Not terrible? It's awesome!" Sonic argued with a grin. "Though I wouldn't give it to a boy band. It has more of a rock vibe to it. Like if Shadow ever started a band, that would be their name." He chuckled at the image. "Shads, you should-"

"I would rather eat my left glove."

"You don't even know what I was gonna say!"

"I can make an educated guess."

"That's too awesome sounding," Sonic opposed. "It needs to be something soft and inoffensive. Something like…"

Tails chimed in. "Dreamboat Express?"

"Ew…" they all groaned before Sonic smiled. "It's perfect!"

Tails had to agree that it was a perfect name, but, "How did he even come up with that?"

"Seems like he just put random words together," Knuckles grunted.

Wearing the outfits again, the boys walked back to the village center.

The hippo was still there. "Music industry professionals only."

"We are music industry professionals," Sonic argued. "We're Justin's opening act!"

They did the dance again, this time adding little vocals that went to the beat of the music.

Sonic wasn't as enthusiastic anymore. "Uh, they should've just stuck with the dancing." They were off-key, sorta out of synch, and it wasn't working.

"They should have bypassed the route completely and just threatened the ferret in charge."

"That's not very heroic, Mets!"

"It is the definition of being heroic. Heroes defeat villains."

"But-"

"Being nice is an unnecessary trait."

"Say it louder for the people in the back," Shadow uttered around a lollipop.

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Don't listen to Shadow! You're new to the game, Mets. You want people to like you!"

Metal pursed his lips. "Do I?"

"Yes!"

"I care more about food than public opinion."

Sonic wisely gave up the argument there because food always won no matter what.

The hippo wasn't swayed, shaking his head.

Knuckles sighed. "I guess that this is the end of Dreamboat Express."

"Dreamboat Express?" The hippo lit up. "With a name like that, you gotta be professionals." He unhooked a red rope blocking off most of the stage set and props.

"So a group can be complete garbage, but still make it big time because of their name?" Knuckles nodded, his sarcasm palpable. "No arguments there."

The team crept behind a large cardboard cutout, peeking around it at the ferret from before.

"There he is," Sonic whispered. "Now to find out his evil scheme…"

The cat the ferret was talking to read off a piece of paper. "Your three o'clock got moved to six o'clock, your six o'clock got moved to four o'clock-"

Eggman shook his head at the complexity. "All of that seems extremely unnecessary."

"Like all of your plans?" Metal retorted.

Different body, same sassy personality. Eggman didn't know why he thought Metal would be too distracted by the novelties to target him.

"I guess it makes sense that he wouldn't conveniently reveal his evil scheme the exact moment we happen to be listening," Tails mused logically.

The ferret then said, "Shifting gears completely, how's our evil scheme coming along?"

Amy laughed at their luck. "It's like he wanted the team to find him out!"

Tails smiled. "The luck balance of the universe works in mysterious ways!"

"Looking good!" The cat grinned. "Tonight, Justin will debut his new single which has fifty percent more mind control."

"Perfect!" The ferret chirped. "Any female within a five mile radius will be turned into a mindless consumer zombie, and I'll be reaping the profits!" He let out an evil laugh.

"Wait…" Amy just now realized the absence of a particular egg-shaped human. "So Eggman isn't behind this plan, then? Will he show up at all this episode?"

"He will now since you brought him up," Eggman grumbled with a glare. "Though I would appreciate taking a break from his failures."

Knuckles snorted. "He's busy getting better at chess so he wouldn't lose to Sonic next time."

Team Sonic ducked down behind the cardboard. They were oblivious of the workers carrying it away.

If the rodents had been that bad at stealth, Eggman would have taken over the world ages ago.

"Mind control…" Sonic began. "That explains it."

The ferret instantly noticed them and pointed. "Intruders! Get them!"

Next was a chase scene with the heroes running away from, chasing, and slowly backing into the stage crew. They scared each other off.

Tails gaped like a fish before eventually getting out, "I guess they did get away…"

The hard way, Sonic mused before saying, "Did they forget that my twin is the fastest thing alive and that Tails could fly?"

The kit assumed so. "They were panicking, so I give them a pass."

At Amy's shack, the pinkette wasn't enthused at all.

Knuckles groaned. Them again. "Prepare your ears."

"Mind control? That's preposterous! Justin would never do that!" She clasped her hands together. "He and I have a special bond."

"Us too!" Sticks declared. "He even wrote a song only about me! It's called, 'Every single girl I've ever met'."

"It's like arguing with a brick wall!" Amy knew that they were being mind controlled, but this still was ridiculous. Who knew that radio hits would be so dangerous?

"But it's true!" Knuckles tried to argue. "Justin's producer conveniently revealed the whole scheme right in front of us!" He chuckled. "Talk about lazy writing."

"Lazy writing?" Sonic repeated, confused. "What in the world is he talking about?

Knuckles gave him a pointed look. "It came out of my twin's mouth. Are you really questioning it at this point?"

"But it seems different this time! Look how smug he is about it!"

"It's obviously a weird joke about how easy it was to find out the truth, Faker." Shadow cut in, tired of this conversation. "Let it go."

"Sor-ry for asking!" Sonic huffed. You'd think that candy would mellow people out, but nooooo.

Amy wasn't persuaded. "Trust us, guys. We're not under mind control!" She looked at Sticks. "Let's get to that concert so we can spend our life savings on Justin Beaver merchandise!"

They screamed as they left the room.

"Don't worry." Tails crossed his arms, confident in his idea. "I know just what to do!"

Tails quietly cheered as the ringing in his ears slowly but surely went away.

"He always has a plan, guaranteed," Knuckles said, cursing the strength of feminine vocal cords.

The scene switched to Tails' workshop. The kit was working on something on a table. "Since the mind control is embedded in Justin's music track, there must be an opposite sound frequency that could counter it. We just need to find it." He held up his invention. "Thus, the Measure-o-meter!"

"He could work on the name a little, but cool invention!" Tails gushed. "And he finished it so fast too! I know he probably was working on it beforehand and tweaked it for this purpose, but still!"

Sonic snickered. "Every group needs a Tails! How could they have fixed this problem without him?"

"Threats."

"Chloroform."

Sonic pointedly ignored the two edgy hedgehogs in the room.

Sonic smirked. "It's fun to bring people a long way to finish a sentence, isn't it?"

Tails nodded. "It really is!"

"Sonic had been fine with waiting all that time?"

"Of course, Knux! He knows how great it feels!"

It was now nighttime, and the Justin Beaver stage was set up. A large crowd of girls filled up the floor space.

The whole room filled with dread.

An announcer boomed overhead. "And now, here he is, the nocturnal semi-aquatic rodent of your dreams: Justin Beaver!"

The crowd cheered as the lights flashed on, revealing the popstar.

Sonic's shoulders relaxed. The screaming was bad but not nails-on-a-chalkboard bad. He would take loud over high-pitched any day.

Team Sonic watched before sneaking off to the side.

Tails examined his invention. "In order for me to calibrate the Measure-o-meter, we need to get on that stage without being seen."

Amy was skeptical. "With those outfits? There's no way."

Knuckles crunched on a candy bar. "And with how loud this concert's going to be, they have to be right there on stage?"

"Hey, you there!" The same hippo from earlier called out to them. They whirled around only for the bodyguard to gesture backstage. "The show's starting! The opening act needs to be on that stage!" The trio whistled innocently as they passed him. The hippo smiled. "Man, I'm good at my job. What would they do without me?"

"He's going to get fired immediately after this is over."

Everyone agreed with Sonic's statement.

Standing on the side of the stage now, Sonic asked Tails, "Has your Measure-o-meter discovered the counter-frequency?"

Tails frowned. "Not yet. We have to stall Justin!"

The boys ran up to the pop star, causing Justin to eye them warily. "Who are you?"

The team posed, and Sonic answered, "Dreamboat Express!" He groaned. "Ugh, I hate that name." Louder now, he pointed at the beaver. "And we challenge you to a sing-off!"

Tails already felt the secondhand embarrassment coming on. "How about just a dance-off? That should be a good enough distraction, right?"

"Or simply tackle him to the ground," Metal supplied.

"That too!"

Amy imagined that not going too well. There might be a couple broken bones involved. "If they did that, they'd be dealing with a horde of mind-controlled rapid fangirls."

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles winced at the visual. There was no getting out of that unscathed.

Knuckles accepted their fate. "Let's just hope that the song isn't too cringe-worthy."

"It will be."

"Hope, Shadow. There has to be traces of that somewhere in you."

"Pessimism is key."

Behind the curtains, the ferret director glared. "What are they doing here?"

Music blared, and Dreamboat Express began to perform.

Amy danced a little in her seat, anxious and excited.

"You should expect the expected, and nothing more! Because you've all heard this song and dance before!" They grooved to the beat. "Our moves are stale, our harmony's bland, and we're just another – woohoo!" They spun in place. "Generic boy band!"

Sonic found himself tapping his foot to the beat. "Okay, okay, they're not bad! It's not perfect, but the lyrics honestly make up for it!"

"Yeah!" Tails was slightly swaying back and forth. "And they look like they're having fun with it too! Even the other Knuckles!"

Knuckles couldn't keep the amusement out of his tone. "It works because they're not taking it seriously. It would be a whole different story if they actually sang a love song."

Amy fought the urge to squeal. She pictured the boys singing to a soft melody with Sonic looking at her, holding out a hand for her to take and ohmygosh. "This is so amazing! Are you guys sure that-"

"Yes, Amy. We're sure," the trio answered.

Down on the floor, Amy was awed. "Wow! They're pretty good!"

Sticks nodded in agreeance. "I'd love to meet those guys someday!"

Sonic blinked in confusion. "They got amnesia too?" He gasped, glancing at Shadow. "Is that what happened when you fell to earth, Shads? Did you get hypnotized by the voice of a prepubescent teenager?"

He hastily ducked a gumball hurled right at his eye.

Justin took this time to jump into the spotlight, shooing the heroes away. His high voice filled the air. "I've got a bold confession, and I think it's time you knew…" He pointed to the crowd. "I'm into you, specifically girl, and no other girl will do."

Justin's voice violently shattered Amy's daydream, and she gave a thumbs down. "Boo! Get off the stage!"

While Eggman was secretly hoping that this weird torture would end, he almost didn't want it to. With how long they've been watching this episode, he doubted his twin would show up. That would be a first, and hopefully not the last.

He knew the chances were slim. Let him dream.

"He's talking about me!" Amy and Sticks chorused before shouting at each other, "In your face!"

Justin winked, but his performance was interrupted by Team Sonic again.

Metal was relieved. That better had been the last time he opened his buck-toothed mouth. "Does he have to sound like a woman giving birth?"

Sonic held up a couple fingers. "Two things. One, it's showbiz, and two, how do you even know what that sounds like?"

"I have the approximate knowledge of many things."

"But…alright." Sonic was going to leave the subject alone.

They marched back onstage, singing, "Yo, yo, yo! We're bringing it weak, and we're bringing it lame! Whatever we can do to keep it all the same! We're focus-tested and radio friendly!"

Tails stepped up, going solo. "The only thing that matters is that we stay trendy!"

"He's not wrong," Knuckles scoffed, but his words were eaten up by a giggling Amy.

"Awww!" she cooed. "Tails, Tails, Tails! You could totally do that! Your voice is cute enough to sound good even if it's not perfect!"

Tails scratched his arm, appreciative of the praise and bashful at the same time. "Amy…why don't you get into the musical scene since you love it so much?"

Amy waved him off. "Ew, me? I can't sing!"

Hypocrisy at its finest.

Justin reclaimed the attention, gazing to the audience. "You're unique, you're complex and interesting, girl! And I'm not being hyperbolic!" He gestured to himself. "Let's carve our name into a tree! It's vandalism…but symbolic!"

Amy wanted to gag. There was a such thing as too romantic. This guy was trying way too hard.

And Dreamboat Express was back.

"You should expect the expected, and nothing more-

Sonic and Tails were mouthing the words at this point. Knuckles was fighting hard not to.

-because you've all heard this song and dance before! Our phony-baloney image is bland because we're just another – hah! – generic boy band!"

Justin wasn't going to quit. "Those feelings for my special girl… We'll do things you want to do. And take a trip to the place you like. But be home before curfeeeeewww!"

Everyone cringed at the high note, groans echoing in the space.

"Of course he would be the one thing worse than the girls!" Knuckles gritted out.

He held that high note long enough for Tails' invention to start beeping.

"The counter frequency!" Tails scanned the readings. "Of course! I should've known all along!"

"Please stop this madness!" Eggman pleaded. He was at his limit.

If the boy hit another note like that again, Shadow was going to lose it.

Knuckles noticed his expression. "Yeah, for all of our sakes."

There was a cut to Sonic shredding an electric guitar. Tails was also holding one, and Knuckles was in the back on the drums.

Sonic loudly laughed. "Yes! This is gonna be good!"

Amy wriggled in her seat. "You look so amazing together!"

"My twin knows how to play the guitar?!" Tails perked up, his grin splitting his face in half. "Awesome!"

"Doesn't know how to read or count, but he can play the drums…" Knuckles wasn't as upset as he should have been. "Makes sense."

"Drop that generic phat beat!" Sonic shouted, and the audience cheered.

"They still shouldn't sing…or talk," Metal commented.

"If the music's good, who cares?" Sonic retorted, pumped for what's coming up.

"You should."

"Shhh!"

The ferret gasped. "Not rock and roll!" He ran off.

Knuckles held his drumsticks in the air. "Ladies and uh…ladies! Prepare for the bad boy musical stylings of…Dude-itude!"

Sonic took the lead, strumming and singing as the others backed him up. "You thought we'd never beat the beaver, but now we're here to make you believers! Sonic and crew, rockin' with the chemistry! Crummy boy band music is the enemy!"

"Heck yeah!" Amy was out of her seat now, dancing. "Down with the boy bands! Down with the boy bands!" Sonic chanted along with her, followed by Tails and eventually Knuckles.

The speedster turned, his guitar firing a sound wave that knocked Justin over and snapped the crowed out of their mind control trance.

There was boisterous cheering now. Sonic and Tails were out of their seats too. "Down with the boy bands! Down with the boy bands!"

Amy blinked, looking around. "What happened? Where are we?"

Sticks shrugged. "I don't know, but listen to that sweet guitar solo!"

Sonic and Tails were back-to-back, air guitaring like crazy. Knuckles did subtle drumming motions, and even Metal was tapping his fingers to the beat.

He would deny everything if asked.

Dude-itude continued playing as the audience threw away their Justin Beaver merch.

Justin groaned before standing up. "Your power rock ballad has freed me from the evil spell of mind control!"

"He was under too?!" Amy asked, still swaying back and forth. "Now I kinda feel bad about insulting him…"

"Now I can move into an industry where I won't be exploited by unscrupulous producers!" He smiled. "Hello humiliating reality TV series!"

Amy sighed and enjoyed the music once more.

The ferret director slumped in despair. "I'm ruined…I'm ruined!"

The boys were still having fun on stage. "We're here-" Sonic started.

Tails jumped in. "We're Dude-itude!"

The speedster smirked. "I know you may find us crude and rude! We have to conclude, you'll come unglued, now that you've heard us-"

They all – including Sonic and Tails – sung out, "Dude-itude!"

The episode ended, and the ones standing plopped back down in their seats with unabashed chuckles.

"That ending almost made up for everything that happened earlier!" Sonic picked up his discarded candy and bit into another twist of licorice. "I'm thinkin' about learning how to play the guitar now!"

Amy eagerly leaned forward in her chair. "Oh. My. Gosh. Please."

Sonic didn't like that glint in her eyes. Or maybe not…

Knuckles eyed his last piece of candy, a Warhead – the same brand Metal spat out earlier – before shrugging and trying it. "If the rest of the episodes are like the end of this one, I'd be completely fine with it."

Tails nodded. "No Eggman shenanigans, cool tunes, it was great! I wish Mittens could come back so I can ask how he learned to play the drums so well!"

"He can stay where he is," Shadow countered, though he had to admit that the ending could have been worse.

"The same could be said about my twin." Eggman stroked his mustache. "He should stay out of sight in that base of his until we get out of here."

Metal got as comfortable in his chair as he could, feeling a bit full now. "You know that will not happen, doctor."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Metal. I appreciate it."

"Anytime."

Knuckles glanced over at the former robot as he sucked on the sour candy. "Metal, why did you spit out the Warhead again? It's not even that sour."

"What?" Metal met his gaze, frowning. "It had not been a conscious decision. My body ejected it immediately because of the intensity."

Sonic barked out a laugh. "Your tolerance must be terrible, Mets! I can handle those things just fine!" 'Just fine' was pushing it. His tongue might be on the verge of shriveling up and dying, but he'd never spat anything out that was too sour.

"I have your body, so my tolerance is equal to yours." Metal glared before correcting, "No, I am the superior being, so it is actually better."

Sonic smirked. "Are you sure about that?"

Metal didn't back down. "Absolutely."

"Then let's test that out, shall we?" The blue hero searched around for more sour candies lying around. "The hedgehog with the best tolerance is the one who…" Sonic trailed off when a small table appeared in the middle of the room. He saw the bag of tortilla chips and the row of different kinds of hot sauces. His breath caught in his throat. "Wait no."

Knuckles grinned wickedly at the set-up. "This is what you wanted, right?"

"No! I was talking about sour stuff, not-"

"Feeling scared now, copy?" Metal didn't hesitate to approach the table, obviously not realizing what he was about to get into. "If you are undoubtfully inferior to me in every shape and form, just say so, and we can continue with the episodes with no problem."

Sonic couldn't do that. He had a reputation to keep. After taking a deep breath, he scoffed. "You wish it was that easy, Metal! Wanna try some sauces? You're on!" He went up to the table as well, looking at the five bottles. Seeing Knuckles' grin out of the corner of his eye, he beckoned, "You get over here too, Knux! Since you're so excited and all!"

Knuckles nonchalantly shrugged as he stood. "Sure. Don't be mad when I beat you two by a landslide."

Sonic's and Metal's scoffs were near identical.

Sonic then called over to Shadow, who had been ready to enjoy the pain and suffering that was sure to follow. "You're playin' too, Shads! Come on!"

Shadow wasn't going to be swayed that easily. "I'll pass."

"So, you're admitting that me, Knuckles, and Metal are better than you?"

"No. I know better than to stoop to your levels."

"Oh sure."

Silence reigned for a pregnant moment.

"Dammit." Shadow scowled as he stood, glaring hard at the smug looks he received. "I will be laughing in your faces while you all writhe in agony on the floor."

Metal raised his chin. "You will be the one on the floor, Ultimate Lifeform."

"Say that again, but slowly."

Sonic snickered. "Titles mean nothing here! We gotta compete to see who's the winner!"

Even though he was a participant, Knuckles' grin hadn't waned.

Tails hovered to the table with Amy at his side. They were staying well away from the competition, but their curiosities were strong.

The kit picked up the hot sauce at one end of the line-up. He gasped when he read the label. "This is a million on the Scoville scale! That's insane!"

Amy bit her lip, a little worried. "Are you sure that you guys want to do this?"

Sonic nodded. "Definitely!"

"I have to prove that I am the best," Metal declared.

Shadow grunted, and Knuckles couldn't wait to start.

Eggman, still sitting, believed that this was the most idiotic waste of time until a video recorder appeared in his lap.

A devious smile grew.

On second thought…

That was a fun one! The next chapter is going to have a crushing Tails, and…pain. Lots of pain. Shoutout to That Speedhunter for the spicy competition idea. I love Hot Ones and hot pepper challenges in general, so I can't wait to write the next chapter.

Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome!