My Arms are Blue!

by thekyuubivixen

Sonic and crew watch the television show Sonic Boom...and may or may not go crazy in the process. Rated T for language (ironic, isn't it?)

27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer- I don't own anything related to the games or the show.

Hello, ladies and gents, and welcome to this monster of a chapter. I'm sorry that it's been a while, but life got in the way and my fingers went too crazy while writing this. The crew don't react to the actual episode until around six thousand words in. Everything before that is the spice challenge.

Enjoy the suffering!

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Sonic saw Eggman pick up a video recorder out of the corner of his eye, and he had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, he would have proof of winning the competition by a landslide if things went well. On the other hand, he might have to violently destroy the evidence if things went south.

Coincidentally, Shadow and Metal were thinking the exact same thing.

However, Knuckles just couldn't wait to get his hands on the video when they were done. He had a high spice tolerance due to the many peppers he had experimented with on his island. He seriously doubted Sonic would be able to keep up despite his love for chili, and Metal…he almost felt sorry for him.

Shadow was a wildcard, but Knuckles still felt confident that he'd be the winner of this little ego contest.

Amy and Tails glanced at each other, both knowing that this was a terrible idea and that tears could possibly be shed. The pinkette sighed and went with it. There was no convincing them all out of it; she had a better chance of beating Sonic in a race.

"If you all are so sure about this…" Amy looked at all the types of hot sauce and winced. She had zero tolerance for spice. Her tongue would probably burn off with this stuff, if that was possible. "How are we going to decide who wins? The one who lasts the longest?"

As if to answer her question, a carton of milk and four pints of ice cream appeared on the table.

Sonic was caught off-guard because while he'd never say no to ice cream, this gift was kinda random. "Uh…what?"

Tails scanned the assortment of vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and mint chocolate chip. He refrained from grabbing the latter for himself. "Dairy products help with the burn of the hot sauce! It calms down the burn much faster than water can." Tails eyed the milk and already saw it spilled all over the floor. "I guess we could say that the last one to resort to it wins?"

Understanding now, Sonic nodded. "Sounds like a plan!" He smirked at his opponents. "Last chance to drop out! You don't want me to embarrass you on camera!"

"You want us to drop out?" Knuckles opened the bag of chips, grabbing one. Then he flipped the top of the first hot sauce, it labeled '1,000 Scoville units'. He knowingly grinned as a tiny pool of spice formed on the chip. "Are you that desperate to end the competition before it even starts?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, Knux! I'm not-"

Shadow interrupted him with a scoff as he grabbed the sauce and prepared his own chip the same way. "Of course he is. You saw him when the sauces first popped in. He's going to be on the floor, regretting his existence soon enough." He bobbed his head at Metal, ignoring Sonic's incredulous gaze. "Right after the bot."

Metal narrowed his eyes as he snatched the bottle away from the striped one. How dare he imply that he was lesser than his frail copy. "Excuse me?"

"You're excused."

Metal regretted ever sharing his candy with him. "I am better than my copy in every way, Ultimate Lifeform. There has been no doubt."

Sonic jumped into the conversation, not appreciating all of these false accusations. "Except, I dunno, all the times I've beaten you? Eggy, you got a count?"

"I've been disappointed in him too many times to keep track," Eggman murmured as he messed with the video camera. He had to get the crispest quality for this inevitable train wreck.

"It goes both ways," Metal bit back before addressing Sonic, "At least I am not the one stalling."

Sonic's brow furrowed. "Stalling? I'm not stalling!"

"Says the one who has yet to prepare for the first level of this challenge."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "I was just letting you guys do it before I did! It's called being nice, Mets. You should try it sometime."

Metal's right arm twitched. "Would anyone oppose if I poured this directly down my copy's throat?"

Shadow didn't care as long as he made it snappy. He didn't need this shitshow to go on for too long. "Do what you want."

"Eh." Knuckles shrugged. "It's the first round. Shouldn't be that spicy."

Sonic hastily grabbed the bottle before Metal acted on any urges. Dying by choking on hot sauce was arguably the lamest way to go. "Glad that I have such caring friends!"

"It's tough love."

"We aren't friends."

Sonic pointedly ignored a smirking Knuckles and an apathetic Shadow as he prepared his chip. "I can't wait until all of this is over so I can rub my win in all your faces." He grinned as he imagined it, placing down the bottle. Eyeing the redness on the chip, he asked, "So, how are we doin' this? Are we counting down?"

"Yeah! We can count down from five." Tails nodded, and the participants got ready. "And between each round…is a minute enough before moving on to the next level?"

"A minute? That's no time!" Eggman opposed. A minute was not nearly enough time for his enemies to suffer. "Make it two! I'll keep track with the timer on here," he offered, patting video recorder.

"Two minutes isn't too bad…" Amy mused. For now, at least, she added in her mind before asking, "Is that cool with everyone?"

"Totally!" Sonic chirped, and she only received affirmative grunts from everyone else.

Amy held up her hand, starting to count down. "Alright, then! Five…four…three…" The boys lifted the chips closer to their mouths. "Two…one…go!"

Eggman had begun recording when the countdown started, grinning as the competitors consumed the first level of sauce. He knew that he wasn't going to get any noticeable reactions this round, but oh boy was it coming.

Sonic chuckled as he chewed and swallowed with no problem. "That wasn't bad! Had a bit of a kick to it, but I've definitely eaten chili as spicy as this!"

Knuckles was tempted to eat another because it was pretty good. "Yeah, but keep in mind this is the first sauce, and it's already on par with your chili."

"I know you're tryin' to scare me, Knux, but it ain't working!" Sonic waved him off, confidently smirking. "I've been inside volcanoes. I can handle a little hea-" The rest of his words died out when there were a couple coughs beside him. He turned to see Metal quietly clearing his throat and deliberately not meeting anyone's gaze. Sonic teased, "You okay over there, Mets? Startin' to feel something?"

The heat was a surprise, but it was easily manageable. Metal had never eaten anything spicy in his life. He was only caught off-guard. "No. A section of unchewed chip went down my throat. It had been the sole irritant that caused the coughing."

A blind man could see that he was bluffing. "Riiiiight," Sonic mockingly drawled out.

Tails never thought that he would be concerned about the robot that he endangered their lives so many times before, but here he was. "Are you sure that you want to do this, Metal? You're still getting used to your body, and it's only going to get worse from here…"

"He already said that he was fine." Shadow picked up the next hot sauce labeled '10,000', feeling the subtle heat linger on his tongue. "Do we have to wait two minutes for this? We don't need to drag this out longer than it has to."

Amy figured that he had a point. It would be just a waste of time with them simply waiting around. "We could move on to speed it up a little. Is everyone ready for round two now?"

All eyes fell on Metal, and he scowled. "I am fine. Do not make me repeat myself."

Shadow didn't need to be told twice. He poured the sauce on another chip, and the rest of the boys followed his lead.

"So, this one is ten times as strong as the first, huh?" Sonic grinned, still feeling sure about his future triumphant victory. "No sweat!"

Amy counted down once more, and the chips entered awaiting mouths.

"Oh." Knuckles felt the kick this time, but it still was tame to him. "Really upped the ante with this one." His purposefully lighthearted tone earned him a snort from Sonic. "Everyone doing alright?"

Metal immediately answered with a round of dry coughs, covering his mouth.

Sonic rose a haughty brow even though his tongue was starting to protest. He was nowhere near his limit, though. "Choking on the chip again?"

Metal leaned on the table as his fit subsided. "Yes." His voice was tight, and the heat was spreading. He sniffed and managed to smother any more coughs that threatened to escape. He'd shown too much weakness already. "It seems like I am not completely used to the process of chewing in this new form."

Eggman zoomed in on Metal's face, seeing moistness in the former bot's eyes that hadn't been there before.

He was going to cherish this video until the day he died.

"Sounds like a half-assed excuse to me," Shadow said as the spice made itself known in his mouth. "You ate candy and popcorn with no problem earlier."

"No one asked for your-" Metal coughed into his hand, hating his irritated throat and lungs and everything associated. "-opinion."

Knuckles picked up the pint of chocolate ice cream and held it out to Metal. "You don't want to go farther. Trust me."

The blue hedgehog took it and tossed it back onto the table. "Underestimate me again, echidna, and I will make sure to-" He was interrupted yet again by a coughing fit.

Knuckles was going to milk this for it was worth. "Want to repeat that? Didn't quite catch what you said."

All he received was a red-hot glare.

Amy was a bit worried. "Don't forget that he has heat vision, Knuckles. You don't wanna leave here with burnt quills." That was the definition of a bad hair month.

Knuckles didn't forget. However, he was sure that Metal was too busy with the burning in his mouth to scorch anything else.

While the clock ticked and the heat simmered, Tails read the label of the next sauce. "It's 100,000 on the Scoville scale… That's a hundred times hotter than the first one!"

"Easy peasy!" Sonic scoffed at that, absently wondering if taste buds could be burned off doing these kinds of things. They couldn't, right? He had no idea what he would do if the perfection of chili dogs were taken away from him.

Metal was subtly taking deeper breaths as Knuckles asked Eggman, "How much more time we got?"

The doctor had stood up at this point to get better angles. "About thirty seconds."

"I guess you guys can get ready for the next round," Tails suggested, holding the next bottle out.

Metal took it first, sneakily observing his opponents' conditions. He was trying with some difficultly to hide his discomfort while they didn't seem to be going through it at all. Was there some kind of tactic he was missing out on?

He didn't dare ask, instead taking the steady burn like the superior being he was. It surely couldn't get much worse than this. The labels were nothing but placebo.

It wasn't long before Metal was holding his prepared chip along with the others. Tails counted down this time, and on 'go', Metal plopped the snack in his mouth and chewed with no hesitation.

This sauce didn't seem that much hotter than the one before it. He had been right. This was just a – oh.

Oh no.

It was worse.

Sonic had just swallowed the sauce, his foot tapping like crazy because wow. He tried to smother the coughs, but they erupted from him without his consent.

There was a hand patting his back, and he glanced over to see Knuckles grinning and completely unbothered. "Couldn't handle that one with a smile, string bean? It does pack a punch."

"You don't-" Sonic resisted the urge to fan his mouth because it was somehow getting hotter. "-feel anything?" Maybe Knuckles' taste buds had already burned off doing something on that strange island of his.

"Oh, I feel it. Guess I have a high tolerance," Knuckles taunted before focusing on the other blue hedgehog. Metal had his hands planted on the table, panting like he had run a marathon. He was staring forward like he'd witnessed a murder. "Unlike him."

"I have an exceptional tolerance." Metal argued, wondering if his tongue was actually burning. "Mortal mouths cannot spontaneously catch fire, correct?"

Knuckles stared at him. "You do realize we have two more of these, right?"

"I am fully aware. You did not answer my question."

"…No. No they can't."

Sonic smirked as his rapidly tapped his fingers on the table, enduring the heat. It wasn't that bad, just uh…irritating. He cleared his throat and said, "The ice cream's right there, y'know! You seem to love chocolate-"

"If you move that pint towards me, I will melt your fingers."

Sonic wisely left the dairy alone. Instead, he turned his head and asked, "How you holdin' up over there, Shads?"

Shadow, watching Metal suffer, raised an aloof brow at him. His mouth – and every single taste bud within – was being attacked with no mercy, but he made sure his expression remained unreadable.

Shadow opened his mouth to make a snarky reply, but the only thing that came out was a loud hiccup.

His eyes widened at the noise, his hand rushing to muffle the next one. Shadow glowered as they kept coming, hating how his own body was betraying him and the jeering looks from Sonic and Knuckles.

"What the-" Hiccup. "-hell?"

Tails was twiddling his fingers, trying hard to keep any amusement at bay because Shadow could easily jump over the table to get to him. "I think it's the capsaicin in the sauce! It's an irritant, so it seems like your diaphragm doesn't like it in your system that much."

Sonic took this welcome distraction and ran with it. "What?" he drawled, teasing. "You're telling me that the Ultimate Lifeform can't handle the spice? Learn somethin' new every day."

Shadow gritted his teeth, narrowing his eyes at Tails and gesturing to the rest of them. "Then why didn't they-" Another hiccup. "-get them too?!"

Tails meekly shrugged. "Everyone's body is different, so…"

Shadow cursed Gerald for not somehow predicting this issue.

Metal felt lucky that he dodged that bullet.

Eggman laughed, focusing his lens on the striped hedgehog. "Looks like you have to win this, Shadow, or these hiccups of yours would add to your embarrassing loss."

Shadow debated going over and smashing that camera, but given that the thing had provided it, he had a feeling that it would be a waste of time and energy.

The doctor was right, though. He had to win this to cancel out these annoying-

He hiccupped again.

"Can. We. Move. On?" Shadow ground out, ready to make the others suffer, especially that echidna. It was clear that Metal was suffering, and Sonic was failing to hide his discomfort as well. Knuckles was the one to beat.

"Yep!" Eggman jollily answered, enjoying this too much.

"500,000 on the scale…" Amy murmured as she scooted that bottle forward. She was almost afraid to touch the thing. Amy lifted her gaze, seeing Sonic's strained grin, Metal's thousand-yard stare, and Shadow's fight to control his own body.

She couldn't be paid to do this.

Knuckles was the first to pour it on a chip. He sniffed the sauce and automatically knew that this was one was going to be bad. "Prepare yourselves," was all he said to the others.

"That scare tactic isn't gonna work, Knux. Good try, though!" Sonic retorted and grabbed the bottle, inwardly wishing that the warning hadn't been sincere. Wait, no. He shouldn't feel so hesitant about this. He was Sonic the Hedgehog! This was just another battle he had to win!

"…one…go!"

He threw it in his mouth and instantly regretted doing so. He needed to check Knuckles' citations about the mouth combustion thing because he was pretty sure it was happening.

Sonic miraculously managed to swallow it, feeling the fire coat his tongue and throat. He knew that keeping his cool was important, but screw it. He fanned his muzzle, the wind being nowhere near enough to sooth the burn.

There was frantic movement to his right. Metal was hastily reaching for the chocolate ice cream. Just when Sonic thought he was about to drop out of the competition, Metal ignored the top altogether and rested his forehead on the pint with a tortured groan.

"How are you now, Mets?" Sonic's voice cracked a bit. Apparently, talking made it a lot worse. Great.

"I am…" Metal had closed his eyes at this point, pressing more against the ice cream like it was lifeline.

When he trailed off, Sonic finished for him. "In pain?"

All he got was a weak nod.

"Join the club."

Shadow was currently losing a two-front war. The hiccups refused to go away, and now keeping his mouth closed was no longer a viable option if he wanted to ever taste again after this stupid competition.

He cut his eyes over to Knuckles, who was finally showing signs of been affected. Unfortunately, it wasn't much. His brow was creased, and his muzzle was somewhat flushed from the heat. Dammit.

"What exactly-" Hiccup. "-do you eat-" Another one. Shadow wondered if he really needed his diaphragm. "-on that island?"

"Natural stuff." Knuckles would've expanded on that, but his tongue wasn't having it. Despite only being five times as strong as the one before, it seemed like a massive jump. He raked his hand through his hanging quills, taking deep breaths.

Sonic didn't have it in him to taunt. His foot tapped even faster against the floor until he realized that he needed to move. Staying still wasn't making things any better.

He rested his hands on the top of his head, stepped away from the table, and started walking in circles.

"It's not that hot, it's not that hot," he kept telling himself. "It's not that hot, it's not – oh Chaos, I can't take it." He whirled around to face Tails, itching for some kind of relief. "Is there any rules about drinking water?"

The kit shook his head. "No, but you don't want to because…and he's gone."

Shadow glared at the entrance of the kitchen, having half the mind to follow just to get rid of these damn hiccups. "Is that not – hic – cheating?"

Eggman's grin was splitting his face in half. "Not really! Water does nothing to help with the burn. In fact, it only spreads it around, making the pain-"

"It's worse!" There was a screech from the kitchen, and Sonic ran out with betrayal written all over his face. His words were breathy and strained. "It's so much worse. Tails, I thought we were bros? Amigos? We help each other! A bro doesn't metaphorically give his bro a match to light the gasoline in his mouth!"

"You didn't let me finish what I was trying to say!" Tails defended himself.

"Plus…" Knuckles cleared his irritated throat. "He only gave you the match. You lit it."

Sonic was leaning over at this point with his hands on his knees. He was taking the deepest breaths he could manage. "But everyone knows I'm irresponsible! I'm a risk taker, impulsive, and if you told me not to light gasoline with a match, I'd probably do it just to see what happens!"

"Fire happens, Sonic."

"Yes, fire! Like the fire in my mouth! My poor, poor mouth…"

Amy furrowed her brow. "What even is this conversation…?"

Shadow couldn't be surprised. "Looks like his brain is – hic – melting as well."

Tails was growing more and more concerned for the health of his big bro. "You're sounding like you need some ice cream, Sonic…"

Sonic shook his head, waving him off. "No, no I'm fine."

"Metal said that too, and look at him."

Sonic pointedly ignored Knuckles. "I'm not at my limit yet, I can take some more!" He zipped over to the kit and ruffled his bangs. "And sorry about what I said before. My mouth is currently my worst enemy at the moment, and-"

Tails chuckled. "It's okay! Your situation is pretty bad-"

"And it's about to get worse!" Eggman nearly sing-songed, gesturing to the last bottle. "Get to it, rodents!"

Sonic looked at the million hot sauce, and his body screamed at him not to do it. But he had to. He might – would – fully regret this in a few minutes; however, he never backed down from a challenge.

Sonic took a chip and reached for the bottle, mentally preparing himself. "I just can't believe…" He swallowed thickly, wincing at the burn. "…that people eat this stuff willingly."

"They're maso – hic – chists."

Knuckles wholeheartedly agreed. He understood that people like food that bite back sometimes, but this was basically assault. "Hurry and do it so we can finish this thing up."

Sonic smirked at that, and somehow his lips were on fire too. Awesome. "What happened to that cool and calm Knucklehead from earlier?"

"The same thing that happened to your cocky attitude."

Sonic thought for a moment. "Engulfed in flames?"

"Exactly."

Sonic then coated his chip in the edible lava, Shadow and Knuckles doing the same. Metal hadn't lifted his head up yet.

"Uh, Mets?" Sonic looked around at everyone else's varying degrees of concern before nudging the former robot. "You still with us?"

It took moment, but Metal eventually peeled his face off of the pint of ice cream. His eyes were extremely glossy, tears stained his cheeks, and his whole face was flushed.

He didn't answer Sonic, instead reaching for the bottle. Knuckles moved it away because despite what he'd done in the past, Metal didn't deserve to death by hot sauce. "I think you should call it quits, Metal."

"Give me the bottle, guardian." Metal's voice was hoarse and barely audible.

When Sonic and Knuckles shared an uncertain look, Shadow shrugged. "If he – hic – wants to do it to himself, then let – hic – him."

Amy bit her lip in worry when Metal poured the sauce. "You don't feel physically sick, do you? Because if you do, you really shouldn't eat that."

"I am perfectly healthy." Metal's lie was a broken whisper. He wiped the tears off his face and ordered, "Count down."

She reluctantly did so. "Five…four…three…two…one…go!"

The four boys simultaneously ate the sauced chip, chewed, and froze all at the same time. Tails frantically looked at all of them, for even Knuckles was completely still with his wide eyes trained on the table.

"Hey…" He waved his hand in front of their faces and didn't get a response. He disregarded Eggman giddily jogging over to get perfect shots of their expressions, asking, "Are you guys alright?"

Sonic was the first to focus on him. "This was a mistake." His voice had been no louder than Metal's.

Shadow's was the complete opposite. "Shit!" he hissed as he stood up, his hiccups interrupting his harsh breathing. Shadow quickly glanced around before zooming over to a plastic chair and throwing it against a wall.

Tails and Amy stared speechless as Shadow stomped that one into pieces before moving on to a next.

Knuckles had drifted over to the nearest window. He began punching at it like it had insulted his entire family tree. He was yelling as if maybe the exertion would help with the intense heat.

It wouldn't, but Tails wasn't going to risk telling him that now.

"I swallowed it. Why did I swallow it? I should've spat it back out because now I can feel the burn all the way down to my stomach, and I'm sure that's not healthy. I've ran through blizzards, fought battles in space, danced on top of lava, but this – oh. Oh Chaos. Am I on fire? I'm pretty sure I'm on fire."

Sonic was now on the floor.

He had collapsed on his back, spread eagle, and began muttering to himself. His words were strained and breathy, but he kept going, questioning his existence, the profitability of hot sauce, and the boiling point of blood.

"This…is painful to watch," Amy muttered to Tails as another chair soared through the air.

He nodded and said just as lowly, "You can say that again."

When Eggman managed to take over the world, he would play this video on repeat until the end of time. "I'm having the time of my life!"

Amy didn't bother responding to him, for Metal was still at the table. His was holding his head in his hands; his mouth was agape, his eyes were stormy, and tears were dripping off his chin.

"Whoa!" Amy went to stand beside him because this was supposed to be a competition, not torture. She lowered her voice so the others couldn't hear. "Metal, please eat or drink something! I know that you want to win, but this isn't worth it!"

Metal tried to speak, but it was a low whine instead that was barely heard over Knuckles' punches.

Tails pushed the ice cream closer to him. "No one's going to hold it against you if you eat it! I know you think Sonic might, but honestly, there aren't any winners in this competition…" This wasn't worth bragging rights, in his opinion.

Metal stared at the two of them, fingers tensely digging into his quills, until he snapped his attention to Eggman. Tails and Amy looked as well to see the man recording them. However, after a brief stare down, a miniscule frown appeared on the doctor's face, and he walked away to film Shadow breaking a leg off a chair.

Amy smiled in relief. She met Metal's gaze once more and reassured, "We won't think less of you."

"…I wonder if fire extinguishers work. Tails, do fire extinguishers work?!"

Tails couldn't stifle his snicker at Sonic's yell. "No, they don't!" When the speedster went back to muttering, the kit opened the pint of chocolate ice cream. A spoon magically appeared in his hand. He didn't question it as he held the utensil out. "You're obviously really hurting, and you have to listen to your body now that you have a living one, okay?"

Metal stared at the spoon, an obvious war going on in his head, until one side won out. He grabbed it with trembling fingers and dug out a large spoonful ice cream, shoving it into his mouth.

Amy released a relieved sigh. She honestly didn't think Metal would listen and end up passed out on the floor.

The blue hedgehog closed his eyes and shakily exhaled at the coolness, and Tails tentatively asked, "Feeling better? At least a little?"

Metal's nod was curt. He was enjoying another scoop when his eyes flew open, body stiff.

"What's wrong?" Amy asked, searching for anything off. Metal didn't verbally answer, his unoccupied hand going to rest on his stomach. She saw this and how green he suddenly looked in the face; she put the pieces together instantly. Amy gasped and nearly shrieked, "Bathroom! Toilet! Go!"

Metal seemed to understand her frantic shouts, abandoning his ice cream and stumbling over his feet as he ran.

Tails felt a little sick himself. "Better in there than out here…"

He and Amy then looked at each other, for Metal was definitely going to need some kind of help in there. However, they both knew that there could possibly be a mess, and neither of them were eager to volunteer.

There was only one solution to this problem.

"Noes goes."

Tails put a finger on his nose a second before Amy, and she gaped at him. "That's not fair! I didn't know that you were going to do that!"

He gave an apologetic smile. "Have to abide by the rules, Amy."

Amy slumped in defeat before jogging to the bathroom, hoping with all of her might that Metal had at least made it to the sink.

"Huh?" Sonic croaked, still on the floor. "What's going-" He groaned when the heat seemed to spike, wondering if someone could learn to breath fire by doing this. "Just why."

Knuckles was breathing heavy when he took a break from wailing on the window. He had seen Metal hightail it out of the room in his periphery. "Looks like…" He stressfully rubbed his forehead, the burn never ending. "…all that Metal's put in his body finally caught up with him."

Tails nodded at that. "Yeah, he ate some ice cream to cool the heat, but it apparently wasn't enough…"

Shadow, wiping sweat off his brow, rasped, "He lasted – hic – longer than I thought – hic – he would."

Sonic felt bad about initiating this whole thing, but Metal should be fine after getting everything out of his system, right? Hopefully it wasn't anything serious. Well, more serious than basically ingesting plasma from the sun.

"One down, three to go!" Eggman announced, sweeping the room with his video recorder. "Who will be the next one to lose? You don't have to answer immediately, though. Stretch this out as long as you can, rodents!" Seeing them unravel was possibly the best things that has happened to him today.

Sonic sat up, panting. "Shads, Knux, could both of you just drop out so we all can end this? I'd appreciate it."

Knuckles knew what he was doing and wasn't falling for it. "Yeah, when you and Shadow do it first."

Shadow narrowed his eyes. "Absolutely not." He did not endure this unusual torture just to throw in the towel.

Knuckles flexed his sore fingers. "Then, this is just going to end in a tie."

Shadow was going to respond to him, but something popped into existence on the table, catching his attention. He glanced over there, and everyone followed his line of sight.

There were three peppers sitting on a plate, and the notecard behind them read: "Have this nice tie-breaker. One of the hottest peppers to exist. 2.2 million Scoville units."

Sonic saw his life flash before his eyes.

"Two point two…" Knuckles trailed off as common sense and the primal instinct to survive slapped him in the face. "You know what? No." He went back over to the table, opened the carton of milk, and chugged a few gulps. He wiped his mouth after lowering it, already feeling the relief. "It's not worth it. You two can battle it out."

He sat in one of the few remaining chairs with the carton, ready to watch the show.

Eggman was somewhat disappointed, but it didn't last for long. Shadow and Sonic hadn't waved the white flag yet, gazing at the peppers before staring each other down.

Tails' gut sank. "Guys, I know you want to win this, but this really isn't a good idea! It's basically half the power of pepper spray!"

His warning fell on deaf ears. Shadow and Sonic stepped back up to the table. There was no taunting and teasing going on; they were straight-faced, looking like they were about to go to war.

The room was silent – Eggman was snickering under his breath as he zoomed in – as the duo picked up the peppers, noses scrunching up at the intense smell.

Then they looked at Tails, and he sighed. "Five…four…three…two…one…" He bit his lip and muttered, "Go."

They threw the peppers into their mouths, chewed, and swallowed.

Shadow gagged, and Sonic whimpered.

Barely five seconds passed before they both frantically stuffed their faces with ice cream.

"Uh…" Tails glanced back and forth between them, watching them eat the ice cream like that was a competition in itself. "I think it was a tie."

Shadow said something incomprehensible as Sonic dropped his head in his hand. Tails barely heard him when he said, "It's not going away."

"Well, yeah," the kit answered, glad that he wasn't in their shoes. "Dairy helps, but it won't instantly get rid of the burn. It works over time."

"Science sucks," was all Sonic murmured before shoveling the coldness into his mouth again.

Shadow hiccupped, and he had a coughing fit when the dessert went down the wrong pipe.

"You might want to slow down a little, Shadow," Tails advised.

"Shut the – hic – hell up."

"But you might get a brain freeze!"

"What did I just – argh!" Shadow slammed his elbows on the table and cradled his head, loudly hissing in pain.

Tails wisely kept the 'I told you so' to himself.

Seeing this, Sonic marginally slowed down not wanting to put his body through even more stress.

Despite the throbbing in his head, Shadow kept eating. Saving his mouth was higher on the priority list than dealing with a headache.

"Are you…" Sonic forced himself to talk, his unfocused eyes trained on Tails. "…sure that it was a tie?"

Tails opened his mouth to answer, but Eggman beat him to the punch. "Let me check the tape!" He rewound the video, humming happily to himself, before pressing the pause button. "Hm…looks like Shadow was the one who resorted to the ice cream first!"

Even though it wasn't worth the win, Sonic's lips twitched anyways.

Shadow simply launched himself at the recorder, already forgetting about its potentially magical properties.

Before he could grab it, the device faded out of Eggman's hands. They looked at the empty space in confusion before an overhead voice said, "I've give it back after we're done here. Until then, I'll hold onto it for safe keeping."

"Damn – hic – you," Shadow snarled as he reunited with his ice cream, the burn becoming too much without it. Whoever had discovered those peppers should be arrested.

"Yeah," Knuckles started after taking a sip of his milk. The heat was slowly but surely simmering down. "Glad I dropped out."

Shadow sent him a withering yet glossy glare before taking the other seat he hadn't destroyed, cold pint in hand.

Sonic shuffled over to a spot on the floor not littered with shards of plastic, but all of the broken pieces then blipped out of existence and were replaced by chairs that hadn't been torn apart.

Sonic appreciated it, because he needed all the comfort he could get. He sat down with his ice cream, and Tails and Eggman followed suit.

The doctor grinned. "That was a fun little experience, wasn't it?"

Shadow's and Sonic's mouths were too full to answer, so Knuckles deadpanned. "Don't make me force-feed you that last pepper over there, Eggman."

He instantly changed the topic. He wasn't tolerant of spice himself, and he had a strange inkling that those rodents would keep that ice cream out of his reach. "Why don't we get on with the show now that the contest is out of the way?"

"We have to wait until Metal and Amy get back out here." Tails peered over his shoulder in the direction those two disappeared in. "And who knows now long that'll take…"

"Tails?" Sonic quietly called.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sweating."

"I know, Sonic."

"Make it stop."

"I can't, Sonic."

The blue speedster slumped in his chair.

Tails focused on the other hedgehog in the room. "Shadow? Is it getting better for-" He paused, seeing Shadow stick his muzzle into the pint, abandoning the spoon altogether. Those sharp scarlet eyes were glaring back at him. "-I guess not."

Eggman debated making a comment on the striped one's appearance, but again, he enjoyed not being tortured.

Fortunately, they group didn't have to wait long for Metal and Amy to make a reappearance.

Metal was a pitiful sight. He was blanched in the face, and his eyes were bloodshot. The hedgehog remained silent as he trudged over to the table, grabbing the ice cream and spoon.

Amy plopped down in the chair closest to the young fox. She casted Shadow and Sonic worried glances before telling the kit, "You don't have to worry about bleaching your bathroom, Tails. He made it."

At least something good came out of this. "That's a relief."

"Got it all out of your system, Metal?" Knuckles asked the one standing up.

Metal ignored him, seemingly reading the notecard on the table. He then glanced down at the pepper it was referring to. Eventually, those tired eyes drifted to Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles.

After a moment, he leveled his gaze on the striped hedgehog. He hoarsely uttered, "Do not tell me you let my copy win."

Shadow's only response was a guttural growl.

Metal shook his head in disappointment before eating a spoonful of chocolate, his features relaxing at the relief it brought.

"What's so wrong with me winning?" Sonic croaked.

"Everything." Metal collapsed down in a chair and finally responded to Knuckles, "I am completely hollow inside, echidna."

"Physically or emotionally?"

"Both."

Now that the ones suffering all had been paired with some kind of relief, Tails jumped out of his chair and hovered over to the last pint of ice cream. He couldn't resist the mint chocolate chip. "I just gonna take this…"

"Can we share?" Amy asked when he returned, and he nodded. Two spoons appeared in their laps, and they both enjoyed the delicious dessert.

A second after, static filled the air, and their other torture decided to resume. The title for the next episode was called: 'Tails' crush'.

Tails almost choked on his ice cream. "My what?"

Knuckles took another sip of his milk, chuckling. "I can't wait for this one. It's a nice distraction after what we just went through."

Amy giggled. "Yeah! And it brings up a good question…do you have a crush on anyone, Tails?"

"Huh?" The kit blushed, adamantly shaking his head. "N-No! Nothing like that! Girls are icky!" Amy narrowed her eyes. "E-Except you!" She nodded at that, pleased.

"You completely sure?" Sonic teased, his voice gaining the tiniest bit of strength. The heat was still unbearable, though. His mouth felt like it had been put into a microwave. "You are growin' up on us…"

"I don't!"

"Well, apparently your twin doesn't think girls are icky." Sonic stated around the mush on his recovering tongue. "Let's see who he has his eyes on."

The scene started off in a desert area. Dry sand was scattered about with prickly cacti reaching for the sky. Behind a white starting line, Sonic was holding Knuckles in a wheelbarrow position, gripping the echidna's legs while his hands were planted on the ground.

"There's no possible way this will end well," Amy said. It would be impossible for Mittens to keep up with whatever the other Sonic was doing. However, those thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind when another popped up. "If Mittens had still been here, how far do you think he would've gone with the hot sauces?"

Sonic, with the spoon hanging out of his mouth, held up one finger.

Knuckles scoffed at that. "He probably would've smelt the first sauce and would've passed out."

"I dunno…he might have a high tolerance for it."

"Does he look like he has a high tolerance for anything, Tails?"

Silence.

"Exactly."

"World record wheelbarrow race test run." Sonic looked at Tails holding a standing off to the side before focusing on Knuckles. He grinned. "You ready, Knux?"

"Oh yeah!" Knuckles replied confidently. "I don't foresee any problem trying to do with my hands the world's fastest runner does with his feet."

Amy frowned because the other Knuckles was definitely going to be choking on sand soon enough. "Whose idea was this?" When everyone gave her a pointed look, she changed her question. "Okay, it was Mittens', but why did the other Sonic and Tails agree?"

Tails swallowed some ice cream, shrugging. "Maybe they were bored?"

She wasn't happy with that answer. "So, they're willing to hurt Mittens for fun?"

"He has been hit with meteors and had a refrigerator smashed on his head." Knuckles cut into the conversation, stifling a cough. "He'll be fine."

Amy's argument died then and there. "Yeah…you make a good point."

Tails focused on his stopwatch, thumb ready to press. "Aaaannnd…go!" He started the timer.

Sonic shot off, pushing Knuckles. The echidna's arms immediately failed him, and he face-planted into the sand. He was mumbling unintelligibly as he gargled the dry grains.

"Faster?" Sonic smirked. "You got it!"

"Wow." Sonic furrowed his brow at the screen. Sure, he'd pulled some wicked pranks on his friends before, but force-feeding someone sand hadn't made it on the list.

Knuckles was somewhat entertained. "I wonder if he did something to tick your twin off. Wouldn't be a surprise."

He bumped up his speed, and Knuckles hissed in pain as his hands scrapped against heated ground. "Hot sand! Hot hot hot hot!"

"He does not know the first thing about hot," Metal muttered indignantly.

He then yelled in shock when he saw the upcoming cactus field, Sonic plowing him into it headfirst. "Ow ow ow ow!"

When they cleared the field – Knuckles' head was fill with thorns at this point – Sonic tried to encourage him by saying, "We're in the home stretch. Just gotta get through the valley of broken glass!"

"First cactus, and now broken glass?!" Amy was really concerned now. Not for the echidna's health, but for the brothers' mental processes. "I know Mittens is pretty hardy, but the other Sonic is seriously trying to kill him."

Tails was worried too. "And he seems so nonchalant about it! Doesn't he care at all?" He pursed his lips, thinking that Knuckles was maybe right. "What did he do to receive that kind of revenge? Sneak one of those peppers into Sonic's food?"

If he had, Sonic absolutely understood why his twin was doing it.

"Speaking of those, how were they?" Amy asked Shadow and Sonic. Considering how fast that round ended – and their conditions afterwards – she had a good idea.

Shadow was still recovering from hiccups, so Sonic answered, "You know lava, right?"

"Uh…yeah?"

"It was that."

"Oh."

"Huh?" Knuckles was obviously caught off-guard by that. However, he didn't get a say in the matter before he indeed was led through broken glass shards. "Ow ow ow!"

Tails winced. "With friends like those, who needs enemies…"

Then the pair, one in better condition than the other, crossed the checkered finish line with Tails waiting for them.

Knuckles tore through a red ribbon before collapsing to the ground, groaning. "Ow…paper cut…"

"See? He's fine. Apparently, it hurts no worse than a paper cut."

Amy was doubtful. "I wouldn't call that fine, but if you say so, Knuckles."

"What's our time, Tails?" Sonic asked the kit. Tails didn't answer him, distracted by something off in the distance. After a second, Sonic tried again. "Tails?"

Sonic perked up at this. "Ooo! Are we gonna see the other Tails' crush already?"

Tails hoped that wasn't the case. Maybe the episode wasn't about a crush at all. Maybe it was just about his twin being crushed by a meteorite or a fridge or something.

Please.

Shocked out of his daze, Tails whirled around to face him. "What? Oh." He glanced down at the stopwatch and pressed the button. "I forgot to hit stop. Can you do it again?"

Knuckles groaned louder.

Amy grinned. "Even if she isn't there, he's definitely thinking about her." She leaned over and nudged the kit. "It's too cute! Don't you agree?"

Tails sunk lower in his seat because he already felt the secondhand embarrassment and she wasn't even on the screen yet.

When a dinging sound filled the air, Sonic help up his wrist communicator and answered it. Amy's voice filtered through. "Guys, Eggman's finally lost it! You've gotta see this!"

Eggman knew that he shouldn't be disappointed, but after last episode, he thought maybe just maybe his twin would be out of the picture for a bit. The thing hadn't given him such luck.

Amy tapped her chin. "I wonder what the other Eggman's plan is this time?"

Knuckles shrugged, swirling his milk a bit. "Probably nothing too important. Hopefully he'll just introduce the plot, get destroyed, and then disappear."

"That would be the dream," Eggman murmured.

Sonic instantly sprinted away, arriving at a shop in the village. There was a crowd standing around with Eggman at the counter. He was talking to a Leroy the turtle. "I was in my evil lair all day, waiting for that package. I had to take a two minute shower. Two minutes!"

Pushing everything else that was going on aside, Eggman wasn't going to lie; he was impressed. A two minute shower was a feat. The quickest he had taken was a five-minute one, and it was because a particular blue-quilled rodent decided that he absolutely had to infiltrate his secret lair that very moment.

He barely had the time to shampoo his mustache.

"And when I get out, there's a note on my front door saying I missed the delivery and I need to pick it up here!" He steadily grew angrier. "Why couldn't you just leave the thing instead of leaving the note?!"

"Oh no." Sonic leaned back in his chair, waving his spoon. "Is this gonna be like Mayor Knuckles? Where we kinda oddly relate to him?" He ate a spoonful of ice cream. "Cuz I really don't wanna do that."

Eggman didn't either for a whole slew of reasons.

Knuckles subtly frowned. "First his trash, and now his mail? What's next? His cable stops working?"

Sonic snickered. "You'd think by now he'd realize that living on an isolated island isn't such a good idea."

Leroy wasn't bothered. "Because we require a signature."

Eggman set down a piece of paper and signed his name at the bottom. He held it in front of the worker's face, asking, "So, can I have it?"

The turtle hummed, nodding. "I just need the note left at your residence."

Amy slowly blinked. "You know, if Eggman decides to attack after this, I don't blame him."

Eggman was rooting for it.

Eggman gritted his teeth and pointed at his name. "But I just signed for it!"

"You only have to sign for it at home. To pick it up here, you need the note that we left." Leroy rose a brow. "Why are you complicating this, sir? It's a very simple policy."

"I would have stolen the package by now."

Sonic glanced at Metal. "Just like how you stole food from the grocery store?"

"Yes, but with less bloodshed."

"I have a simple policy, too!" Eggman narrowed his eyes before yelling out, "Decimator Bot, engage!"

"And there it is…" Tails said before pondering, "Wait, did he have that robot on stand-by just in case he faced a minor inconvenience in the village?"

Knuckles scoffed. "Or he already knew that the turtle was a hassle to deal with and was prepared."

A large blue robot appeared out of nowhere and picked up the turtle with ease. Again, he didn't seem bothered. "Thuggery will not get you your package any sooner, sir."

Amy had never wanted to side with Eggman, but, "It actually would! All he has to do is run in there and grab it."

Sonic snorted. "You should know that Eggy doesn't run, Ames."

She smiled at that. "Oh, right! How could I forget?"

They ignored the piercing glare trying to burn them to ashes.

Tails flew over the scene in his plane, and Sonic was quick to act. He contacted the kit on his communicator. "Tails, initiate speeding swing surprise!"

"It's been a while since we've heard that!" Tails interest peaked once again, needing the schematics of that energy beam. "Since the first episode!"

Knuckles wished that he could go back and warn his past self of all the stress he would go through.

Confident that Tails had agreed with the plan, Sonic jumped on top of the nearest building. Tails got into position, and Sonic jumped once more, reaching for where a hanging enerbeam was supposed to be. Instead, he grabbed thin air and plummeted into a box of watermelons.

Sonic, Tails, and Amy flinched while the rest of the room enjoyed the pain.

"What happened there?" Tails asked, totally confused.

Amy was too until a thought came to her. She grinned. "Looks like he was distracted again! I wonder by what…?"

Tails would do anything to have the fight drag on for the next ten minutes.

Seeing the failure, Amy took the initiative to charge forward. She swung her hammer and ripped one of the robot's arms off it shoulder.

Amy cheered, wanting to move this fight along so they could get to the good stuff.

Leroy went flying, but Sticks caught him before he hit the ground.

Sonic had climbed out of the watermelon box at this point. "Knux! Time for a little teamwork!" Knuckles ran behind the robot and kneeled by its feet. Sonic spindashed Decimator bot, and it stumbled over Knuckles, landing hard on the ground.

"Or he could've just punched the robot's head clean off its shoulders," Knuckles shrugged. "But I guess that works too."

At this point, Shadow had finished off his ice cream and his mouth was still aflame. In hindsight, he should've eaten it more slowly like Sonic, but he didn't care enough to reflect on his mistake.

He glanced between the mint ice cream and the carton of milk available to him. The dessert was colder, but the milk had the lesser chance of giving him another brain freeze.

Placing his empty pint on the floor, Shadow called, "Knuckles." When the echidna looked at him, he pointed to the carton and asked, "How much is left in there?"

"Over half-"

"Give it to – hic – me."

He scowled at the grin Knuckles shot him while Sonic eyed his empty ice cream container incredulously. "You're already done with yours? I just got halfway! Guess spice is one of your weaknesses-"

"Shut up." Shadow snapped before holding his hand out. "Don't make me come over there, echidna."

Knuckles thought about teasing the other some more, but he kept the taunts to himself. The burn in his mouth was nothing but a sizzle now, and honestly, he didn't want to deal with a deranged hedgehog today.

"I put my mouth on it," he said as he twisted the cap on and tossed the carton.

Shadow caught it. "My body kills – hic – foreign bacteria. Don't care," he uttered before drinking.

Metal felt a pang of jealousy, hating that his body wasn't immune to sickness. His stomach apparently couldn't handle a constant intake of food. It was disappointing, really.

Sonic smirked and asked, "How about another wheelbarrow race?"

Knuckles barked out a laugh as he held the robot's legs, sprinting away while the bot's head dragged in the dirt.

Amy couldn't help but to laugh. "He has to get revenge on someone, right?"

Eggman growled, now floating in his hovercraft. "You haven't seen the last of me! I'll be back…with that note!" He then flew off without another word.

Eggman couldn't decide whether he wanted his twin to come back to terrorize the turtle some more or to disappear off the face of the earth. That postman did have it coming…

When he disappeared, Sonic approached Tails, who was leaning on his plane and sparing off into space. "Dude, what happened up there?" He stopped beside the kit, frowning. "You never miss a cue!"

Tails didn't answer, softly smiling at something off to the side. Sonic waved a hand in front of his face, but that didn't work either.

Amy sat up in her chair, wriggling a bit, eager to see the one Tails' twin was crushing on.

Tails wanted to delay the moment, but he also was a bit curious to see who was making his double act all weird.

He was looking at another yellow fox putting the watermelons back into the box. She turned around and waved, smiling back. "Hey, Tails!"

"Aw!" Amy gushed with a wide smile. "She's so cute! Oh my gosh! Those two would make an adorable couple!" She faced the kit. "Wouldn't you think so, Tails?"

"Um…" He eyed the fox on screen, not really knowing how to answer that question. "She looks nice enough…?"

The pinkette giggled. "We need to find you a girlfriend! Having someone to love is the best thing ever! Don't you agree, Sonic?"

Sonic really didn't want to be pulled into this conversation. "Sure! But only when he's ready, y'know?"

"Totally!" She then asked Tails, "But you're ready now, aren't you?"

Tails' eyes were wide as saucers. "I'll…be ready when Sonic's ready!"

Amy turned back to Sonic, but there was a glint in her eyes this time. "You heard that, Sonikku? Time to be a good role model!"

Sonic slowly blinked. "Tails, be prepared to die old and alone."

"I'm okay with that."

Amy huffed; however, she wasn't down for long. "You'll both see in due time how beautiful love is!"

That shook Tails out of his reverie, and he stammered, "Huh? Oh, yeah! I was gonna say hi, but then…" He trailed off when his tails began to spin on their own, lifting him off the ground. "Uh…see you later!"

Amy softly squealed while Tails was completely baffled. She was just another person! Why couldn't he just say hi without trying to fly into the clouds?

"Oh boy," Knuckles muttered. "He's got it bad."

Metal looked at him. "Are you speaking from experience, guardian?"

"What."

"It is clear that you and that agent-"

"Say one more word, and I'm flushing that ice cream down the toilet."

Metal hugged the container close to himself.

Sonic knowingly laughed, pulling Tails' leg to ground him again. "I see what's going on here!"

"Tails has been hypnotized by man-eating tomato people?" Sticks guessed by Amy.

"Is she on any medication?" Metal questioned. "Because she is either not taking enough, or is taking too much."

Eggman rested his chin in his palm. "Knowing her, she'd somehow manage to do both."

Sonic ran over to them, cradling his chin. "Yeah…that-" He grinned. "-or our pal Tails has a crush on that girl."

Tails floundered like a fish out of water. "What? Who? Zooey?" He hastily shook his hands. "No, Sticks was right! Definitely the tomato thing."

Sonic wondered if they knew that they were kinda yelling. "Pretty sure Zooey's hearin' every single word of this."

"Oh my gosh, Tails is in love!" Amy gasped, covering her mouth. "That is so adorable! You are so adorable!"

Amy pointedly nodded. "It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who thinks so!"

"I am not adorable!" Tails tried to defend himself. "I-I'm serious and formidable!"

"Not really helping your case here…" Tails murmured. "And there's nothing wrong with being both, right?"

"Right!" Amy chirped. "Everyone here in this room – except Eggman – is both!"

Both Sonic and Eggman wisely stayed out of this one.

Knuckles, Shadow, and Metal looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"What? It's true!" Amy defended herself. "Shadow and Knuckles, you two lose those sharp edges when you stop being so rough and tough all the time. And Metal…" She eyed him and grinned. "You're hugging that ice cream like a kid would hug their favorite stuffed toy, so yeah."

Shadow refused to believe that. He had a reputation to maintain. "You're – hic – delusional." Her grin widened, and he cursed. "Dammit."

"I am the farthest thing from adorable," Metal huffed. There was a small pout on his face.

Knuckles looked at them and sighed. "I'm just not going to say anything."

"Good! Because I'm sure Rouge would back me up."

Knuckles held his head in his hands.

Sticks joined in with Amy at this point, cooing, "Awww!"

"I just…" Tails grew meek, scratching his head. "…don't know how to talk to her, is all." He glanced over at Zooey once more. She was filling a basket with smaller melons.

Sonic went over and patted Tails on the back. "Don't worry, pal. You're about to be enrolled in the Sonic school of impressin' the ladies!"

Sonic inhaled his ice cream on accident, coughing harshly as a result. "Excuse me, what?"

"I'm actually going to throw up."

Eggman agreed with Shadow. This was one train wreck that he did not want to watch.

While Amy squealed even louder, Knuckles sent the blue hero a teasing look. "You heard what he said, Sonic. Apparently, your twin knows everything about impressing women. Isn't that something?"

Sonic's brain had chosen to shut down. "I don't…why…huh?"

"He is a…what do you mortals call it?" Metal wracked his mind before continuing, "He is a flirt."

Tails startled a bit when Amy jumped out of her seat. "I have to meet him! Wait, no…" She faced Sonic, her expression too bright. "You need to meet him, Sonic, so you can learn from him!" She began explaining. "You have plenty of charisma, but you never reciprocate when you draw people-" Amy gestured to herself. "-close to you! Of course I know better, but you might be sending the wrong signals to those who might be interested!"

Knuckles smirked when Sonic gaped, completely speechless. "Shouldn't you be getting a pad and pen ready so you can take some notes?"

"This is…" Sonic's brain gradually rebooted. "…not how I thought this episode would go." He had been ready for Tails shenanigans, not this. Sonic glanced up at the ceiling. "Do I have to watch the next couple of minutes?"

The response was immediate. "Yes."

He groaned.

"That's a good school." Knuckles vouched for him. "It's where I studied air conditioning and refrigerator repair."

Knuckles didn't let that bother him because the show was about to get good.

The next scene showed Sonic and Tails in the former's shack. Tails was sitting at a table with a notebook while Sonic paced in front of him.

"All right, first things first." Sonic began his lesson, leaning against the table. "When talking to women, you gotta play it cool. Don't let her know you're interested."

"Really?" Knuckles faked interest, addressing Sonic, "So that's what you've been doing with Amy all this time, huh?"

Sonic made a strangled noise in his throat. "Knux, you are the worst."

"I try."

To Knuckles' misfortune, Amy waved them off. "I know that's not the case. Didn't you hear what I said before? Sonic's basically an infant when it comes to romance." Sonic didn't know whether to take offense to that or not. "And plus, that's horrible advice. Don't listen to it," she said to Sonic and Tails.

"G-Got it!" the kit replied, hoping that she would stop being so intense. Amy was almost scary when she was passionate about something.

Tails nodded, scribbling down notes. "Play it cool…got it!"

Sonic continued, "Now, if you do strike up a conversation, be sarcastic and always have a one-liner ready."

Knuckles was no expert in this field, but even he knew that this advice was awful. "This explains why there've been so many girls throwing themselves at him," he uttered sarcastically.

Amy tisked. "This is a list of what not to do!"

Allow me to demonstrate." He gestured to the entrance. "I've hired a local actor to play the part of 'girl'."

Comedy Chimp walked in wearing a black dress and lipstick.

Amy actually screamed.

Sonic was frozen. "Guys…I think we've found something worse than Eggman in a onesie."

Everybody wholeheartedly agreed.

"I gotta fire my agent."

"Fire them and everyone associated," Metal ordered.

He approached Sonic, who was leaning against the beam of his house. "Hi, Sonic!"

Sonic bobbed his head, remaining aloof. "Sup?"

Amy felt conflicted. Two-thirds of her was disgusted of everything that was Comedy Chimp and of Sonic's twin's horrid advice, but the other third, well…the complete one-eighty in personality was really interesting to her. For some reason.

"Sonic-"

"Amy, no."

She should've seen that coming.

Comedy Chimp didn't break character. "Would you like to accompany me to a movie and/or show?"

Crossing his arms, Sonic curtly responded, "Not sure I have the time."

Sonic groaned again. Hearing his voice say these things was plain wrong.

The chimp put a hand on the speedster's arm. "Is it something I said…or did? Because I can change!"

"If nothing else, he's a hell of a good actor," Knuckles pointed out. "I would've bailed out a long time ago."

"Nah, it's cool." Sonic side-eyed him. "I'm just…super swamped. Can't be tamed, born to run, you know how it is."

Sonic resisted the extremely strong urge to curl into himself.

Comedy Chimp was persistent. "Well, maybe we can get a lime ricky at the local malt shop sometime?"

Sonic sighed, clearly disinterested. "Yeah…maybe." He took a step away. "Look, I gotta bounce. Catch you on the flipside, babe."

Even though all of this was cringe-worthy, Amy couldn't help but to gasp at the pet name. She imagined Sonic saying that to her, and she could hardly contain her glee.

The rest of the room was in pain.

The chimp smiled and waved. "Call me! We could be happy together!" He then turned to leave, frowning. "Oh, I have no dignity…"

"Less than the doctor, and that is saying a lot."

"Metal, you are dead to me."

"I will take that as a compliment."

Tails was writing away in his journal while Sonic smirked. "Works every time!"

Tails felt bad for his double.

The scene changed to that same store in the village again. Eggman slapped the note down on the counter. "I found the note." His clothes were covered with dirt. "It was in the dumpster behind my lair. I hope you're happy!" He held out an expectant hand. "Now, give me my package!"

"I wonder what it is?" Sonic mused. "I mean, he really wants it."

"Hopefully a device that would allow him to win for once."

"Do you actually thing that they would allow something like that to be delivered to you by mail, Eggy? There's gotta be some kind of regulation there."

Eggman deadpanned. "They let that red imbecile become mayor."

"Right…they did do that."

Leroy took the note and disappeared into the back of the store. Tails then attracted the doctor's attention when he ran by, looking around. When he spotted Zooey, Tails ran over and leaned against a pole.

Amy shook her head in disappointment. "Sonic set him up for failure! The poor thing."

She walked by him without noticing.

Tails felt the embarrassment creeping up. He fumbled with his namesakes, biting his lip. "He should just forget everything that Sonic told him! It's already going bad!"

"He's highly impressionable," Knuckles commented. "If he would've gone to someone with genuine experience, he might've had a chance."

Tails filtered through his twin's friends and had to ask, "Like who?"

Knuckles thought for a moment before uttering, "Yeah, he's better off just winging it."

Tails was surprised for a second before he decided to run to the nearest tree, leaning against it again. Zooey still didn't notice him.

"Not to defend what he is doing or anything, but shouldn't she hear him?" Sonic hoped for the sake of the other Tails' feelings that she wasn't ignoring him on purpose. "He's running right by her!"

Knuckles had been thinking the same thing. "There must be something incredibly interesting in the other direction."

The kit jogged over to lean against a building, but he missed the wall and fell to the ground.

Tails groaned from the second-hand embarrassment, covering his face with his hands and peering through his fingers. This hurt to watch.

Tails quickly sprung back up when Zooey approached, acting like nothing happened.

She waved. "Oh, hi, Tails! Didn't see you."

Metal licked his spoon. "Somehow."

Tails attempted to be uninterested, but it wasn't working out. "Yeah, I'm all like…whatever. I don't care. I'm busy anyway." He turned away from her, crossing his arms. "Catch you on the flip-flop."

"Make it stop," Tails borderline whined.

Amy reached over and patted him on the back. "Just remember to never do this, okay? Sounding like a blubbering jerk is the last thing you want to do when talking to someone."

Zooey took it all in stride. "Okay." She walked away with another wave.

Amy smiled. "At least she's not too put-off by it!"

Seeing this, Tails sighed and slumped.

Unknown to Tails, Eggman had seen the whole thing. The doctor shook his head, unimpressed.

Sonic barked out a laugh. "Who is he to be unimpressed? The closest friends he has are robots! He wouldn't know what romance was if it slapped him in the face!"

Amy was tempted to point out the hypocrisy of that statement.

Eggman spoke up before the conversation somehow spun around to poke at his own pride. "Anyone could tell that he has no idea what he's doing, rodent. Experience or no experience. I would rather watch one of my bases blow up than watch this disaster!"

Feeling Metal's jeering stare on him, Eggman turned and narrowed his eyes. "Not a word."

The former bot smirked.

"It appears that package is back out for delivery," Leroy said when he reappeared.

Eggman faced him, perplexed. "Out for delivery? What? Why?"

The turtle shrugged. "Nobody came to pick it up."

Eggman was outraged, slamming his hands on the counter. "I came to pick it up!"

Leroy didn't flinch. He picked up the note. "That's not what it says here."

He growled.

Eggman inwardly sighed. This was almost as bad as watching the kid.

Knuckles felt the need to punch something. "If this episode ends with the turtle being decked in the face, it'll make this all worth it."

Outside of Sonic's shack, Tails was standing beside Knuckles who was lifting weights laying on a bench.

Knuckles' gut sunk. "Oh no."

Sonic would normally tease him about this, but after what he just went through… "It can't be possibly worse than my twin's advice, right?"

"That's the worst lie I've heard in years," Shadow grunted, thankful that his hiccups were finally fading away. "What did I tell you about being optimistic?"

Sonic huffed, and Knuckles mentally braced himself.

The echidna grunted as his pumped. "See, your first mistake was going to Sonic for advice on women." He smirked. "Or as I call them, the 'lay-dayssss'."

Knuckles' ears were bleeding. "Who calls them that?!"

"Is this why we do not see any of the team with significant others?" Metal asked. "Because they are all inept?"

"My twin and the other Sonic are dating!"

He glanced at Amy. "That is an assumption."

"A pretty good one!"

He set the weights down as Tails copied him. "The 'lay-dayssss'!"

"Nooooo…" Tails whimpered.

"Now you're gettin' it!" Knuckles encouraged as he stood. He picked up a couple barbells and flexed. "What women want is someone who's manly."

"As in someone who looks like they've eaten nothing but protein their whole life?" Knuckles muttered to himself.

Tails whipped out his notebook. "Let me write that in my Hello Doggie journal." He didn't get to, for Knuckles slapped it out of his hands.

"Rude!" Tails and Amy shouted at the same time.

"No, dude!" Knuckles chastised. "Manly! You gotta lift weights!" He grabbed the barbells again, pumping them. "Eat red meat! Take up woodworking! Ha, that's what they want!"

Everyone looked at Amy, and she shook her head. "No, that's not what we want."

Tails scratched his head, doubtful. "Uh, I don't know… It seems a little archaic. Do women really respond to that?"

Tails perked up. "Yes! Keep questioning it! Mittens is a good friend at all, but why go to him for advice ever?"

"And didn't he say that he learned what he knows from the other Sonic?" Amy asked. "That's a lot of red flags right there!"

"He went there for refrigerator repair," Metal reminded her.

"Still!"

As Knuckles worked out, he noticed Lady Walrus and a lady goat watching him from afar. Knux smirked at them, and they giggled to themselves.

The echidna winked. "Oh, yeah."

Knuckles put a hand on his forehead, slowly blinking. "Am I having a stroke? Or did that actually happen?"

"That entire dimension needs to be purged," Shadow muttered. "There are no benefits of having it around."

The attention was back on Eggman, who was sitting at a table in Meh Burger. He was talking on a phone, chewing his burger. "Rerouted? My package has been rerouted? To where?" He tensed. "Guatamanana?"

"Just rob the shop already! Those rodents are too busy with the fox's love life to care!"

"I hate to say this, but Egghead's right," Sonic admitted. "And I'm pretty sure they'd understand if he explained the situation to them."

Behind him, Zooey sat at a table by herself, sipping a drink. Tails then walked up to her, forcing his voice to be deep. "Hey, Zooey. I was at the gym, throwing some weights." He flexed, and she simply sipped from her straw some more.

Tails wanted to jump through the screen and drag his twin away from Zooey. He needed to save her from this.

"She does not look impressed."

"Who would be?" Amy responded to Metal. "Everyone and their mother can tell that he's trying way too hard! Just be yourself!"

Switching tactics, Tails placed a hand on the table and inspected it. "This table's got some excellent craftsmanship. What's that, birch? Cedar?"

Zooey tapped a finger on the wood. "I think it's particle board."

Knuckles rolled his eyes at how bad this was. "At least she's not running away." Yet.

Tails nodded. "Oh, yeah. I had a particle board tree once. Chopped it down, built me a cabin out of it."

Metal frowned. "Now, she is going to think he is idiotic."

"I would too!" Tails sighed, shaking his head and muttering, "A particle board tree? Really?"

Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by Dave, who set a meal on the table. "One Meh steak, extra rare." Tails smiled at the redness of it while Zooey looked marginally disgusted.

"I don't blame her!" Amy's nose scrunched up. "The thing's practically still mooing!"

Tails pulled at his ears. "Does he not see her face?! You need to bail out of there!"

Sonic sent the kit a placating smile. "It's okay, Tails! It'll all work out in the end like it always does!"

He figured that Sonic did have a point, but the journey to the end was so agonizing. He'd never felt so embarrassed about something he didn't even do.

Tails pulled out a fork and a knife. "The redder, the better!" He winked at her, and she returned nothing but a look of confusion.

"I feel you, girl," Amy said, empathizing with her.

Dave wasn't done, for he revealed a Hello Doggie pencil. "And your Meh meal toy."

Tails perked up in excitement, grabbing the gift. "Oh! A Hello Doggie pencil to go with my notebook!" Then, he realized what he was doing, grinning nervously at Zooey. He deepened his voice again. "Uh, I think I left my bandsaw running!"

Knuckles snorted. "I'm sure that left a great impression. He went from being clumsily aloof to being a carnivorous jock. What's next?"

Sonic hoped that the other Tails would go back to being himself after this, but there was a pattern here. "Well, the other Ames and Sticks are left, so…"

"I want him to go to my twin first so he can stop making a fool of himself!" Amy exclaimed. "He should've went to her in the first place!"

Knuckles was doubtful. "You seriously think that your double's advice will be the best?"

"Definitely!" She eyed him. "Why don't you sound sure, Knuckles?"

"Have you not seen her? She's overdramatic." Knuckles shuddered at the screeching that went on last episode. "Yeah, hers might be better than Sonic's and Mittens', but that wouldn't be saying much."

Amy crossed her arms. "Well, I have faith!"

He sprinted away, and Eggman – who had been listening one more – shook his head in disdain.

Why did Eggman get the feeling that his twin was going to stick his nose where it didn't belong?

The next scene showed Amy and Tails in the hedgehog's shack, sitting on the sofa. The pinkette poured him some tea. "You're doing this all wrong." She set the tea pot down, going into teacher mode. "If you want to know what women want, talk to a woman!"

Amy completely agreed.

Tails gasped. "That's brilliant! Where can I find one?"

Sonic, Knuckles, and Metal erupted with laughter.

Amy felt a little bad as she stifled her chuckles.

Tails wanted to join in, but he believed that his other self was in a danger zone. Metal had questioned Amy's femininity before, and that hadn't gone well. "He needs to start running now…"

Amy glared hard at him, hissing, "I'm a woman! I'm refined and elegant like a delicate flower, you jerk!"

Metal eventually calmed down, enjoying that very much. "She is doing nothing but proving his point."

Knuckles wiped away a tear. "I knew there was a reason Tails is my favorite."

She regathered herself, calming back down with a smile. "As I was saying, girls like romance and chivalry. You know, like the movies." Amy turned on the TV in front of them. "Watch and learn."

Amy's confidence began to wane at that, and Knuckles threw her an 'I told you so' look.

A masculine voice began to play. "How thy voice is like a songbird, let my eyes feast upon your beauty and my soul be nourished by your love!" Tears of joy filled Amy's eyes while Tails glanced between her and the TV, extremely confused. "A thousand roses would dare not smell as sweet as you!"

Amy released a heavy sigh as the woman on screen responded, "Oh, even if thy face is hidden beneath the mask, your heart is visible to me now and forever!"

More tears stained Amy's cheeks as she gestured to the movie. "See?"

Knuckles grinned at the pinkette, who was visibly irked. "The best advice, huh?"

"Shut it, mister."

Tails stood up confidently. "I'll do it!"

Tails heavily exhaled. "He really really shouldn't."

Next was Tails walking up to a house in the village. He was wearing a tuxedo, and a white mask covered half of his face.

Someone please help this child, Amy thought before saying, "He'd look kinda adorable if he lost that ugly mask."

He projected his voice. "Zooey! Come forth from your chamber window!"

Tails honestly didn't think that it could have gotten any worse. It did.

"Okay, forgetting about everything else, I appreciate how persistent he is!" Sonic chuckled. "He's got a lotta drive!"

Tails saw where he was coming from, but, "He needs to drive home."

Zooey appeared in a second-floor window, gazing down at him. Not knowing what was going on, she gently greeted, "Uh, hello?"

Tails kept going. "How now, brown cow! Your voice is like a songbird, singing uh…songs! And you smell!"

She was taken aback by that. "What?!"

Amy and Tails winced at the reaction.

"He's digging his own grave," Knuckles uttered, needing some kind of reprieve from this.

He tried to mend his words. "Um…like a flower of some kind! Not a stinkweed, uh, something better!"

"Nice save?" Sonic wasn't sure if he believed his own words or not.

Unbeknownst to them, Leroy the turtle was riding by on his mail wagon, and Eggman was angrily following him slightly out of breath. "I know you have my package in your wagon! Just give it to me!"

"So this is the one time you don't have your hovercraft mysteriously near you?" Eggman ran his hand down his face. "Convenient."

Leroy glanced back. "Once it's on the wagon, I have to deliver it to your residence."

Amy pursed her lips. "We seriously need answers to how Eggman has any of his stuff taken care of. Because that wagon isn't making it across an ocean."

"Oh, for the love of-" Eggman's incoming tirade was cut short when he noticed Tails all dressed up. He frowned. "Not this train wreck again."

Eggman rubbed his temples because it seemed like his fears were coming true. While he wouldn't touch his enemies' personal problems with a ten-foot pole, his twin apparently couldn't help but to meddle.

Metal was catching onto this as well. "Do not tell me he is going to offer his own advice."

Sonic snickered, placing his empty container on the floor. "He's probably going to say to give up and eat your feelings away. Do you think so, Eggy?"

"I wouldn't know," he answered through gritted teeth.

"He does," Metal immediately opposed.

Sonic nodded. "Oh yeah, definitely."

Eggman thought about taking a vacation after they were released form here so he wouldn't see any of these annoyances for as long as he desired.

Tails still wasn't done trying to woo Zooey. "Looking into your eyes is like looking into a pair of…" He paused in thought. "...eyes! Nice ones, even!"

Tails was starting to feel numb. "Doesn't he hear the words coming out of his own mouth? I would never say that!"

"Because you're not as desperate as he is," Knuckles supplied. "This is the definition of desperation."

"I don't think he's desperate!" Amy argued. "He has his heart set on wooing her, but he doesn't know what to do. I blame the terrible advice, not Tails."

"Oh, I do too, don't get me wrong. But only a desperate person would compare eyes to eyes and keep going like nothing was wrong."

"…He's trying his best, okay?"

Zooey blinked at him before closing her window.

Tails slumped with a depressed sigh.

And yet again, Eggman was unimpressed.

Sticks' burrow was next.

Knuckles leaned back in his seat. "Here we go."

"She's going to tell him to mark his territory or something."

Several disgusted gazes landed on Shadow.

He shrugged. "You can't tell me that she wouldn't resort to that."

He was right; they couldn't.

The badger was inside her burrow, explaining her opinion on the matter to Tails.

"When a male wishes to woo a female, he must perform a traditional dating dance." She hopped on a wooden table, flapping her arms. "Where he displays his radiant, colorful plumage. This must be done in a public form to assert his dominance over the other males."

"Yeah. Great. Let Tails do that with the many feathers he has all over him." Knuckles deadpanned. "At this point, I almost want to believe that she's pulling his leg just to see if he would do it."

"You heard her people-eating tomato comment from earlier." Metal reminded him. "She is a hundred percent serious."

Tails shrugged, unperturbed. "Well, it's worth a shot!"

Amy tried to see the bright side in all this. "When this is over with, at least he'll learn to never go to his friends for relationship advice again."

Back in the village, Tails was showing off the peacock feathers in his hands to Zooey and the group of people who had gathered around.

"Caw-caw!" he crowed, spinning around and posing. "Caw-caw! Caw-caw!"

"Where did he even get those from?" Tails asked, confused. He was beginning to get used to the embarrassment at this point.

Knuckles scoffed. "Pretty sure Sticks had something to do with it."

Zooey, understandably concerned, took a step forward. "Tails, are you feeling okay?"

He widely smiled. "Wha? I'm feeling great! Check out my majestic plumage!"

Tails waved the feathers around in Zooey's face, causing her to sneeze. "Well…as long as you're all right!" She ran off after waving goodbye.

"I applaud her for still being so nice, y'know?" Sonic scratched his nose as if he had been the one to get a face-full of feathers. "If someone did all of that stuff to me, I seriously don't know how I'd feel afterwards."

"Flabbergasted?" Tails provided.

"Yeah, mostly that with a little bit of concerned mixed in."

Tails walked off, dejected, and Eggman – standing off to the side at the store – grumbled to himself. "I can't watch this anymore." He rose his voice when Tails trudged by him. "You've got no game, kid! Let me help you."

It was a shame that Metal hadn't retained his internal timer, because Knuckles was itching to know if the train wreck was almost over. It had been going on long enough. "Honestly? Whatever he has to say literally can't be any worse than what's already happened."

The kit looked up with a furrowed brow. "You? But you're our sworn enemy!"

"Finally, some common sense," Metal drawled. "I had been wondering if he had forgotten it."

"He hadn't forgotten it!" Tails came to his twin's defense. "It just…had been overshadowed by the more impulsive side of him."

Metal gave him a look.

Tails relented, "Okay, maybe he didn't think things all the way through, but-"

"Peacock feathers, a butchered theatrical act, blatantly false masculinity, and 'catch you on the flip-flop'."

Tails couldn't deny that evidence.

Eggman crossed his arms. "Nonetheless, in situations this dire, the bro code trumps the enemy thing."

"The bro code!?" Sonic repeated, thrown for a loop. Since when? "Sworn enemies don't have a bro code!"

Simply accepting it at this point, Eggman grumbled, "I guess he didn't get the memo."

"Take my advice, you'll never land a girl by acting like someone else. Just be confident in your own pelt." His tone grew more commanding. "And for pete's sake, ditch the feathers!"

"Well." Amy was pleasantly surprised. "It came from an odd source, but that's perfect advice! Especially the feather part." She hummed in thought. "I wonder how he knows that despite having minimal social interactions?"

"The better question is why he is the only one who has accurate advice. Romantic advice at that." Eggman corrected. Something was very wrong if his double was the only one in the right.

"A broken clock is right two times a day," Tails chimed in, slightly frowning. "At the most random times…"

Tails lowered his gaze to the feathers, dropping them after a moment's hesitation. He then put his hands on his hips, questioning Eggman. "How do I know I can trust you?"

"Believe me or don't, it's not hair off my mustache." He stroked his hairy upper lip. "You're the one doing the funky chicken in the middle of town square."

Tails nodded after a moment. "That's fair."

It was then that Leroy walked out from the back with a box in his hands. He placed it on the counter. "Your package."

Knuckles was slightly let down that there had been no punching involved.

"Finally!" Eggman cried out in exasperation before opening it, his anger dissipating as dark chuckles escaped him. He held up a grey device. "My background music generator! This'll really make my attacks more exciting!"

Eggman slowly breathed in and out to control his anger.

"So…it's basically a small stereo." Sonic leisurely clapped. "Glad to know that he has his priorities in order!"

He pressed a button on the remote, grinning as energetic music played.

Tails subtly tapped his foot to the beat. "He wasn't wrong about it being exciting!"

Tails had no time to focus on that, for a giant robot with a single eye and tank treads rolled into the village. The villagers screamed in fright, running away from the approaching bot.

Motobugs joined the invasion as well. They shot lasers at those fleeing as Eggman evilly laughed. "Sweet! Listen to those drums!"

Sonic grinned. "I don't blame him for bein' so into it! It's pretty catchy!"

"But is it necessary?"

"Catchy-ness is always necessary, Knux."

"That's not what I – nevermind."

Not one to stand on the sidelines, Tails palmed a hefty wrench and took down the motobugs one-by-one. Their parts began to litter the ground.

"Yeah!" Tails pumped his fist. "Do what you do best, other me!"

Eggman jammed to the music until scrap metal fell down beside him. "Huh?"

The hulking mech had zeroed in on Zooey, and she was running for her life. She screamed with it picked her off the ground. Tails whipped his head around at the sound, narrowing his eyes at the attacker.

Amy giggled. "You get your girl, Tails! You got this!"

Knuckles allowed himself to relax. "These next scenes are about to be better than the whole episode." All action and no awkward situations.

At this point, the rest of Team Sonic had run onto the scene. Sonic quickly assessed the situation before starting, "Amy, you and Knuckles head-"

Tails, in his plane now, held up a hand. "No need, Sonic!" Confidence flooded his features. "I got this!"

Metal narrowed his eyes. "How did he get in the plane so quickly? He had just been on the ground."

Sonic waved him off. "Let's just say the it was hidden behind and building close-by and move on."

He swooped down and flew circles around the bot, it spinning to keep up with him. Zooey was still freaking out in the mech's hold, yelling, "Help! Help!"

"Hang on, Zooey!" Tails reassured before aiming at the arm that held her hostage. He fired a laser, and the limb exploded, breaking from the body.

Zooey flutily reached for the sky as she fell. But she never touched the ground; Tails activated his speeding swing surprise, dangling an enerbeam for Zooey to grab. Once she did, Tails swung her safely into the seat behind him. They smiled at each other.

"There's the Tails we know! Well, kinda know!" Sonic cheered. "Nothing like a good old Eggman battle to brighten your day!"

Or make it worse, Eggman inwardly groused.

On the ground, Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy all smugly said, "I taught him everything he knows."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Oh please. They didn't do anything!"

Tails looped around in the air and fired another laser right at the robot's midsection. The whole thing blew up, its parts raining down all around.

Team Sonic cheered at his success while Eggman huffed, walking up to his destroyed weapon. "Well, that wasn't as exciting as I hoped." He held up the device, pressing the same button as before. The background music was cut off.

"Did he think that the music would somehow power up his inadequate machine?"

"He probably wasn't thinking at all," Shadow answered Metal.

When Tails landed his plane, Zooey leaned forward in her seat, beaming. "Tails, you were amazing!" She hugged him from the back and kissed the side of his head.

Tails cheeks were on fire as he incomprehensibly sputtered.

Amy released something akin to an animalistic screech, jumping to her feet. "Oh. My. Gosh! She kissed him! She kissed him!"

"Yes." Metal rubbed his ears. "We all saw."

Knuckles couldn't believe it, really. "Funny how Tails is the first we've seen find a partner in the group." The other Sonic and Amy might be a thing, but they technically hadn't seen anything concrete yet despite Knuckles' teasing.

Shadow cut his eyes over at him. "And hopefully he's the last." He wouldn't make it if they had to watch the rest of the team go through this.

Sonic unknowingly shared Shadow's thoughts. "I'm proud of the little guy! All he had to do was be himself!" He then glanced over at Tails, who was still in shock. "You okay, bud?"

He eventually recovered. "Y-Yeah! It was just really unexpected, is all. I'm glad everything worked out for him too!"

Amy beamed at him. "So, have you changed your mind about getting a girlfriend, Tails?"

"Still on the old and alone route, Amy."

"You'll break eventually."

That sounded too much like a threat for Tails to feel safe.

Eggman laughed, his sarcasm nearly palpable. "Look who got the girl by being himself! I didn't see that coming!"

Eggman pinched the bridge of his nose. Did his twin always need to get the last word in? Eggman was guilty of it too, but at least he knew when it was out of place and unnecessary.

Tails gave him a level stare. "Do you mind?'

"You're welcome," the doctor bit before providing more music. It was more romantic this time.

"And it's getting weird again…" Tails muttered.

After a moment, Tails and Zooey locked gazes, expressions soft. They then held hands, and a heart shaped iris-out appeared over them, growing smaller and smaller.

Out of frame, Eggman exclaimed, "I'm glad I sprang for the heart iris upgrade!"

Disregarding the other Eggman, Amy loved the ending of that. "Those two are so precious!" she loudly cooed, and Tails subtly lowered his ears to protect them. "If only the other Sonic and my double showed that kind of affection!"

Sonic dodged that subject altogether. "That episode was interesting, to say the least! I learned that my twin is basically hopeless, and that those peppers linger for way too long." He didn't start to cool down until they got halfway through the show.

Knuckles snorted. "No one told you to eat it. You knew what you were getting into."

"No, not really." Sonic would never do that again. Probably. "But at least I won!" He smirked over at Shadow. "You put up a pretty good fight though, Shads!"

"If you mention it again, Faker, I will end you."

He most likely wasn't bluffing. Due to the limited space in here – and the probability of collateral damage to others – Sonic addressed Metal, "And you did good for someone who hadn't tried spice before, Mets!"

"I came in last place, copy. Do not patronize me."

"But you were the first to enjoy the ice cream, and that's a win in itself!"

"That does not count."

"Of course it does! It's ice cream!"

Metal wanted to argue back some more, but Eggman didn't let him. "I'm ending this needless conversation, for you're only prolonging our escape." And his vacation plans. "The only winner is me because of that video I will be playing on repeat in my lab."

"I'm going to need a copy of that," Knuckles said, and Sonic gawked at him. The echidna shrugged with a grin. "What? You two should've seen your faces when you ate that pepper. It was priceless."

No matter how long it took, Shadow was going to hunt down and erase every evidence of his degrading loss. "You take one, and I'll make sure you'd regret doing so."

Knuckles wasn't deterred. "Nah, I don't think anything would make me regret it. You had hiccups. Nothing gets better than that."

Shadow glared.

"You're trying to be intimidating, but it doesn't really work when I've seen you stuff your face with ice cream."

Shadow despised his own pride sometimes.

---

And there we have it! Metal learns that his body isn't invincible, Sonic wins the competition, and Shadow probably won't eat any spicy foods anytime soon. Oh, and Tails learns what not to do when trying to get into a relationship. Very educational.

Bro-down showdown is next, so get ready for that!

Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome!