CHANGES – LANGHORNE SLIM & THE LAW
Severus woke up late the next morning. The window in the roof only let in a little bit of light, as it was covered in snow. Hermione's limbs were sprawled out over him and she smelt of alcohol. Or maybe he smelt of it, it was hard to tell.
He rested his cheek against her head and started to play with her hair, and just as he dozed off again a little bit, she stirred a bit and sighed contently.
"I love you", she mumbled.
"Good morning", was his reply and he gave her a kiss on the head.
She moaned and stretched herself beside him.
"I had plans for today", she said. "But it's just so comfy in bed…"
"Christmas Day in bed sounds good to me."
They kept talking, cuddling and loving each other all afternoon.
"I wish the holidays would be longer", Hermione sighed, leaning on one arm and playing with Severus's hair. "I get to do no research at all at Hogwarts. It's frustrating."
She was particularly annoyed with the fact, that she couldn't dive deeper into some muggle subjects that had recently piqued her interest. Ever since Severus's breakdown in August, she had tried to read about psychological concepts and coping methods, but for once in her life the Hogwarts library was no help. She had managed to get electricity, so the music on her laptop worked, but an internet connection was impossible to create magically. What she really wanted was a week at Oxford University and unlimited access to a photocopier.
She had thought about telling Severus, but she was worried that he would shut down if she mentioned her increasing interest in psychological therapy. She wasn't interested in it just for his sake, but more as an overall concept that was missing in the magical world. She had thought about how it could change the mental health in the magical world, if let say children with lycanthropy could have access to a therapist, or especially in these years, people that had lost their dear ones during the war, generally witches and wizards that survived the war, and pretty much anyone who felt like life was a burden sometimes. It also was distantly connected to her Muggle degree in anthropology, and she missed working in that area.
"What are you thinking about?", Severus asked her. She took a breath, but he was quicker: "Don't say nothing, your face is an open book."
She sighed and smiled at him.
"I wanted to read about some muggle things, that I can't find in the Hogwarts library…"
And she hesitantly started explaining her idea.
He was listening carefully, and to Hermione's surprise, he didn't tense up or interrupt her.
"That is all well and good, Hermione", he said eventually. "But having the knowledge and applying it are two very different things."
"Well, I thought if we were to leave Hogwarts…-"
"Why do you want to leave Hogwarts so desperately all off a sudden?", he asked harsher than she had expected him to, but his long fingers pushing the hair out of her face softened the blow. Nonetheless, his eyebrows were furrowed, and he didn't look very happy.
"I am not desperate to leave…-"
"I am neither blind nor deaf or stupid, Hermione. You have been thinking about this the whole term."
She looked at him annoyed but sighed and positioned her head on his shoulder.
"It's just… I don't want to be in a place where my love life is being taken apart, frowned upon and even ridiculed. You have seen and heard them…"
"Let them talk", he said, and it made her smile, because usually she was the one to utter exactly that phrase. "Just don't listen to it. As long as we don't give them any reason to believe that were an item, they can say whatever…-"
"No, that exactly what I don't want", she said fervently. "What if I want the world to know we're an item? I cannot stand everybody telling me, how I cannot possibly be in love with you, and how ridiculous the thought is. I want to be walking down the street by your side, and…-"
"Hermione…", he sighed. "We have been over this so often…"
"I don't care", she said heatedly and propped herself up to look at him angrily. "I have been serious last night, Sev."
He looked at her, his face expressionless and his eyes cold, but with a glint of surprise and fear in them.
"I would take your name in an instant, in fact, I would walk down the road and marry you within the next ten minutes. I am sick of having people tell me who I can and cannot love, having people trample over my feelings for you, and discredit our relationship, just because they don't know any better. I want them to know, I want my friends to know, and I want to beat their asses up if they have anything less than supportive to say about it. I want to just life my life with you, and that is not too much to ask. I want to be happy, and I want you to be happy. Tell me in all sincerity that you like being at Hogwarts, and I will never say a word again, but I don't believe that's the case."
She was panting, looking determined and fierce, and she could hear the blood rushing in her ears.
Severus was clearly absolutely stunned, looking at her with his dark eyes and his mouth slightly agape. She thought she could see the slight trance of panic in his eyes and thought about what might have induced it.
"Don't worry, I won't drag you in front of the altar within the next ten minutes", she said with a small smile.
"Wouldn't mind…", he whispered, still looking at her.
She laughed and leaned in to kiss him softly.
"I am sorry, I hadn't planned on exploding…", she murmured against his lips.
He kissed her deeply and passionately, his hands finding their way around her head. When she pulled back for some air, he wrapped her up tight in his arms and pressed her towards his chest, holding her head and caressing it nearly desperately. Placing one kiss after the other on her head and forehead, he eventually resolved to just holding her fiercely against him.
They lay like that for quite a while, and when Hermione was just about to ask if he was alright, he started speaking.
"It is not like I had imagined it. I thought it would be easier."
She knew he was talking about Hogwarts, and although it pained her heart to hear it, she also rejoiced inwardly at the fact that he finally admitted to it. They could work with that, rather than him vehemently denying his true feelings.
"Let's leave, Sev", she whispered agitatedly, motivating and begging him at once, and she felt as if she was trying to get him to run away with her. "Let's leave and live our life!"
She felt rogue, as if she was trying to do something forbidden, something that was not in the rulebook. The prospect excited her, and she nearly didn't recognise herself.
"You love your work…", he tried to calm her spirits, but she was aflame now, and nothing would stop her from achieving what she had set her mind to.
"Nonsense!", she exclaimed. "I love you!" She sat up in bed and looked at him with fiery eyes. "Let's leave and live at home. Let's groom our apothecary and grew rare plants. Let's invent charms and cures for curses. Optimise every potion there is and let me find out about things that can change the world! Let me do something that matters!"
"Your teaching matters", he said.
"My teaching is restricted!", she replied. "I am given a curriculum that I can hardly change. As much as I love teaching, and people might not believe that I am saying this, but society needs more than information being served on a silver plate. The world needs compassion, everyone deserves just and fair treatment, no one should feel helpless at the sight of life. I want to help people, even if it only improves one life, it is an achievement."
He looked at her and Hermione could tell he was thinking. She tried to convey with her eyes that she was serious, but it didn't seem to convince him.
"That is not a decision to be made in a whim."
"So, you are not denying that you'd like to leave", she tried to push him again.
"That is not what I said."
She could hear the reluctance in his voice.
"I am certain about it, Sev. Just promise me you'll think about it."
"There's not much thinking needed", he said a little bit more fiercely. "You have a job that gives you stability and good reputation. Nobody in their right mind would give that up."
"You know as well as I do that that is not true", she replied. "Just think of it…", she said and looked up at the ceiling dreamily. "The freedom of independent research…" She turned to look at him again. "I own my place, we've got a roof over our heads, there's no mortgage on it."
"We own the house, too", he said.
"Really?"
"I bought it with my savings."
She smiled at him.
"It would be perfect, Severus."
"Everything is perfect as long as you stay with me."
"Promise me, you'll think about it?", she asked looking pleading at him.
He sighed quietly and stroke her cheek with his thumb.
"Guillaume has been pestering me about some potion research for months now… That would be a point to start at, I suppose."
Hermione had been getting restless and after an hour of her wiggling her knees uninterruptedly, Severus made her take a shower and went downstairs himself to make some food.
Just as he was looking through the fridge for some tomatoes to add to it, he heard a man's voice in the living room.
"Mione?"
Potter.
What should have been the biggest shock of the day, turned for some reason into an uninvited opportunity. Severus stepped into the hallway and listened for Hermione, who was still warbling away in the shower. He looked down his own body and did a quick assessment… plain tshirt, long checked pyjama trousers, no socks.
For fuck's sake, you're not doing this.
Yet he did. Quickly fixing his hair into a bun with one of Hermione's hair ties that was lying around, he stepped into the living room.
"Dm dm, dm dm, … knock knock!", he heard Harry rambling on. "Welcome to Hermione Granger's mailbox. I am currently busy redefining the concept of magic whilst also doing…. No, Gin, she hasn't answered… yea, yea, I'll ask her… dm dm, dm dm…"
It was the most hilarious thing Severus had ever heard in his entire life and he couldn't help but snort laughing.
"Mione?"
"Potter."
"Snape?"
Severus walked up to the fireplace.
"You might not be mistaken with your assumption that she is redefining the concept of magic… she is probably doing so right now, whilst showering. Can I pass on a message?"
He tried to sound as cool and bored as possible, but in reality, he was nearly freaking out. He stood in Hermione Granger's living room, in pyjamas, talking to Harry Fucking Potter.
"Erm, … right, erm….", Potter stuttered. "No, erm…"
"Use your brain, Potter", Severus drawled with his arm crossed over, looking into the boy's face in the flames.
"What are you doing there?"
Keeping his cool, Severus sat down on the sofa opposite the fireplace. Inwardly he was screaming.
Get out. Run as long as you can. You fucking idiot.
"I was just about to make some scrambled eggs, before I heard you singing so heart-warmingly."
"Wha… how… Merlin's … wha…"
"Why don't I tell Hermione to call you back?", Severus proposed belittlingly.
"Right… erm… right, yea…"
Severus stood up and nodded once towards the fireplace, then he left the room and shut the door with quite some vehemence behind him.
Merlin's fucking beard. What have you done?
He tried to calm himself down, whilst chopping up some tomatoes and onions, but his hands were shaking.
Why were his hands shaking? Severus Snape never lost composure.
Pull yourself together, you moron. It's you own fault! What did you think? You're losing it! You lost your mind already!
When Hermione came downstairs, she immediately noticed his tension, but did just as always give him the time and space he needed to process his thoughts and feelings.
She tucked in heartily, and when she looked questioningly at his untouched plate, he resolved to tell her.
"Potter called."
"What?"
"Potter. Called", he drawled a little be more venomously than he had wanted to.
"Just now?"
"I told him that you were having a shower and that you would call him back."
"You spoke to him?"
Her eyes were as big as tennis balls, and he irrationally thought they might fall out of her head.
"No, I shat letters and made him construct the sentence himself", he snapped. "Of course, I spoke to him."
"Like… that?", she looked him up and down and smiled excitedly.
"For Merlin's sake, would you just call him back?", he grumbled.
Her smile grew even bigger and without further warning she kissed him heartily onto the mouth.
"I will do that right now."
She kissed him once more, and it sent another wave of relief over him, before she left the kitchen.
Well, that wasn't too bad now, was it. Mission complete.
Severus heard a mix of voices murmuring for some time, before Hermine shouted: "Would you shut up for a minute!"
He tried to listen in but couldn't hear much. He knew she'd be perfectly capable of handling the situation by herself, but he had started the scenario and he felt like he should at least show his face.
When the voices had been calm for a while, he slowly opened the living room door and peeked inside. Unfortunately, or maybe not so unfortunately, Potter was no longer in the fireplace, and Hermione just got up.
A wave of relief came over him when he saw her smiling face.
"They asked if you'd like to come to their place tomorrow."
"No", he replied immediately.
Hermione grinned at him.
"I told them that much."
Then she went and kissed him.
"I love you", she said against his lips, and he couldn't help but smile like a teenager.
"I love you, too."
When Hermione left for the Potters the next day, Severus decided to go to Richmond Park and nick some of their plants.
As he came back home and walked down the street to their flat …. their flat… he saw Jane Granger coming towards him.
"Hello, love", she said and rubbed his arms. "Gosh, why don't you wear a proper coat. It's freezing! I just dropped you some fruitcake. Why are you not with Hermione?... Ah, what a stupid question, I should have known better… what are you up to? Do you want to come down to our house?"
Severus had to smile at her chattering.
"I could do…", he replied when she eventually stopped speaking. "I just need to bring these home…" He held up a small canvas bag. "And maybe write Hermione a note."
And that's how he ended up sitting on the South-Western-Railway line next to Jane Granger discussing the work she and the Nancys had done on magical dentistry.
He had known that Hermione's parents lived in a very wealthy area, and even before having been to the house he had guessed as much, considering their holiday home in France. But when he walked down the street with a view onto Hampton Court, he felt slightly out of place.
"We didn't always live here", Jane explained. "We got the house for a good price, because we knew the previous owners very well. They have run the dentistry there before us."
Severus could only imagine what a good price might be in an area like this and didn't say anything.
Despite that, he felt as comfortable as he had done two days before, when he sat down with the Grangers in their living room. Hermione joined them later in the evening, having omitted the visit at Shell Cottage that day.
"Everyone asked for you", she said, as she took of her coat in her parents' hallway.
"Good for them", he snarled, and George chuckled at the comment.
Hermione made a face at him and flung herself onto the sofa.
"We had a rather pleasant afternoon here", Jane informed her, and the smile that lit up Hermione's eye made him go completely soft.
"So, they're all well?", he asked at last.
They didn't stay long at Hermione's parents but agreed to come back on New Year's Day for a late lunch.
On New Year's Eve Severus woke up to a scent of something sweet in the house. Hermione was not in bed anymore and he listened out for her. When was the last time he had slept that well? Well, when he thought of it, he had slept well ever since they started their holiday.
He heard Hermione clinking with some dishes downstairs and decided to get up and join her. Just before he arrived on the first floor, he recognised the smell. It was mango chutney.
"You are making a curry", he greeted her.
She looked as beautiful as ever, with her wild hair tied up into a huge bun and his massive woollen jumper swallowing her.
"I am indeed", she replied smiling, but not lifting her head.
Just like last year.
"Using exactly half of what the cookbook states", he continued.
"Quite."
He smiled and helped himself to some coffee. He had smiled so much in recent days, the corners of his mouth hurt him a bit, which made him smile even more.
"Do you want to head into London? Foyles still has its Boxing Day Sales on", he said.
"Oooh, yes!", she exclaimed, licking her spoon and putting the lid onto the slow cooker her parents had gifted her for Christmas. "I haven't bought a book in… well, far too long!"
"The two Waterstone's bags are still under the sofa", he drawled, and raised his eyebrows at her.
"Yes, yes. I'll put those away soon", she said hastily.
"That's what you said exactly one year ago."
"Do I have to throw you out of the kitchen again?", she laughed.
"I'd rather throw you somewhere else…", he said, taking a sip of his coffee and looking at her over the rim of his cup.
"Not until I have another bag to add to the collection under the sofa", she said cheekily and left the kitchen. "Let's get ready to go and pick up a croissant on the way!"
He didn't let her get away with it however, and they only left the house two hours and three orgasms later.
They walked through London hand in hand, enjoying the intimacy that came with the simple gesture. They picked up coffee at Severus's favourite coffee house at the Seven Dials and indulged in some bookshop hopping.
"Do you like Scrabble?", Hermione asked him, looking at the box in a shop.
"I'll destroy you", he replied coolly.
That's how they ended up on the floor, in front of the crackling fire, eating ice cream and cursing like sailors.
"Ok, new rules, new rules!", Severus barked. "Magical words are not allowed anymore!"
"Ha!", Hermione exclaimed and jumped onto her feet, pointing her ice cream spoon at him. "You surrendered!"
"No, no, no!", he laughed. "I just don't trust you with your made up Charmology words!"
"Says you!", she cried back. "Qzinjenxberry? How convenient that it has all these ten-point letters in it!"
"I dare you look it up in the library!"
"You…! Be sure, I will! You crook!"
"What did you call me?", he asked in a dangerously low tone, but the flames reflecting in the heat of his eyes betrayed his true intentions.
"A crook! And a mighty one at that", she ranted. "You and your chi-chi-berries… Pathetic! A bad loser, that's…-"
But she couldn't finish her tirade, because Severus attacked her mercilessly and pulled her down onto the carpet floor under him.
"Keep on ranting, you wench!", he growled. "You'll beg for mercy, and I won't have even started!"
And he did not utter empty words. Additionally, to the fervent attention he gave her, the ice cream was used in a fashion, that made Hermione's cheeks blush in erotic thrill, not knowing if she liked it, hated it, or both.
When her back was all scratched up from rubbing on the carpet for hours, he allowed her to sit on him, enjoying the view she granted him. Her blushed face and plum lips, the dark red marks he left down her neck, the flames from the crackling fire flickering in her eyes, the pure adoration, hot love, and sweet passion in her gaze. A short memory of last year's New Year's Eve flickered in front of his inner eye, how she had been sleeping on the sofa he was now leaning against, holding her book, looking like an angel.
If anything, she had become even more beautiful in his eyes. With every day, every minute, every breath he took, her physical and mental beauty seemed to overwhelm him more and more.
As she slowed down on top of him, and the blood in his ears became slightly less, he could hear the bell ringing midnight in the distance.
"Happy New Year", she whispered into his ear, poking her small perky breasts against his chest, and trailing kisses down his mangled neck.
Her beauty, her grace and kindness, her spirit and her mind, where lifting him up and showing him what eternal peace would look like. She was the rock under his feet, the solid and calm constant in his wavering existence.
The feeling of longing, the homesickness for a place he had not known, the aching for an existence he had not believed in, it was all stilled by her. He felt light like a feather that night, being carried by her winds towards heaven.