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Olivia followed Alex up and out of the ravine. Dressed in only a loose fitting shirt and some breeches that ended at the knee she kept her distance from the blond and walked soundlessly behind. It didn't look as if Alex had any direction in mind, wandering to and from the trees as she was. Olivia couldn't believe that she would betray them. The pain she had seen in Alex's eyes had been real, the need for help had been real so why would she now run back to her father? She followed as Alex neared the road but before either one of them could step foot on it she called out.

'Alex!'

Alex whirled round. Olivia had been silent through the trees and she had no idea she was being followed. 'Stay away from me Liv!' she called back.

'Where are you going Alex?' the blond shrugged and went to walk away again. 'Alex!' she didn't stop. 'Alex! For God sake you can't leave, where would you even go?'

Alex suddenly spun and came charging towards Olivia. She stopped, panting, about a sword's length away and in a choked voice screamed, 'I don't care. Anywhere! Anywhere but here.'

Olivia was shocked to see that Alex was crying, great heaving sobs wrenching through her chest. 'Alex' she said in a quiet voice, stepping forward and reaching out a hand.

'No! Don't touch me,' Alex backed away. 'I can't…..can't bear it.'

'Everything's going to be okay, come on; come home.' Olivia tried again, this time staying where she was.

'Stop saying that!' Alex screamed, her voice echoing through the leaves. 'Nothings going to be okay. It can never be okay…. You keep telling me I have choices but I don't. I cant undo it….I cant. Those people today were so good….so beautiful. They have us food when they had none. I've never… never known that kindness and I don't deserve it. If they knew who I really was…..God if they knew…. I keep trying to tell myself it wasn't me. It was father. It was his orders, his armour…..but its all lies. It always been me. My hand….my arm…. my heart…..I cant…. I cant…..God Olivia stop asking me to.'

'Alex the person those villagers saw today was you.' Olivia said slowly.

'No!'

'Yes. You can't spend your whole life killing yourself for the past. Look forward, look to who you can be, who you are.' Alex shook her head. Olivia cast round for something else to say, something that would convince of her of the truth. 'It may have been your hand,' she finally settled on, 'your arm, but I swear on God it was never your heart Alex.'

'I'm… sorry….' Alex's chest was heavy and every word was forced round a sob, 'I'm sorry… I'm…not… good enough for you.'

Alex turned to walk away but before she could Olivia came charging forward. She grabbed Alex's face and brought her lips crashing down, her momentum pushing them both back till Alex landed flat on the floor with Olivia's weight on top of her. Olivia could taste the salt of Alex's tears on her lips but after the blond had gotten over her initial shock she was kissing Olivia back. The two woman, who days ago had been enemies were laid on the forest floor, pressed as closely as two people could be. Olivia, unlike their first kiss, was able to take her time, to tease Alex's lips with her teeth and run her tongue around her mouth. She smiled at the feel of Alex moving against her, all enthusiasm and no skill. It was obvious that the younger woman had little to no experience and Liv slowed the kiss down, till what was wet mouths and clashing teeth became slow and sensual. Tongues slowly rubbing against each other. Alex let Olivia take the lead, let her show her what to do and soon her breath was coming in gasps and a heat had settled low in her stomach.

Olivia sat up and straddled Alex's hips. 'You've always been good enough for me,' she said, trying to put as much love as she could into the words. Alex watched as Olivia drew her shirt over her head. Neither of them cared that they were laid in the long grass beside the road, in sight of anyone who travelled too close. She felt paralyzed, tears still clinging to her eyes lashes, as she finally saw what she'd imagined so many times. Olivia's muscles were defined by her life in the forest, the only softness on her torso coming from her breasts. They were slightly bigger than Alex had expected, the same bronze tone as the rest of her skin. Olivia brought Alex's hand up to cup one gently and it was if the movement cured her stillness. She lifted her other hand to Olivia's hip while pressing slightly at the breast she held, feeling the dark nipple harden under her palm. Olivia moaned as she leaned forward to kiss Alex again, the weight of her breast filling Alex's hand as they fell forward. Her hair fell like a curtain around their heads and Alex bit lightly at Olivia's lip.

She'd wanted Olivia since the first day she'd seen her and now it was finally happening Alex didn't know what to think. She was still panting but couldn't tell if it was from the tears or from Olivia. Her scent was everywhere Alex breathed, the lavender of Casey's soap on the surface but the bitterness of tree sap and damp soil underneath. She couldn't get enough of the skin under her hands but at the same time the heat pooling between her legs was getting too much, every sense overloaded with Olivia.

Olivia drew her up in a sitting position and pulled her own shirt from her body. Alex felt the cold on her arms, felt the wind harden her nipples and brought her hands round to cover herself.

'No don't do that' Olivia whispered.

'No don't do that.'

He'd come to stand behind her, pressing his body against her back. It was late and she was getting ready to sleep but he'd come into her chambers just before she got into bed.

'You did well today Alexandra.'

'Thank you father.' She'd ridden out to a nearby village to collect some debtor's money earlier that day and had arrived back with most of the money and the hand of a man who couldn't pay. He'd been sending her out since she was fifteen and two years later she was an old hand at dealing with the peasants.

She'd been brushing her hair by the mirror when he'd came in and after his praise of her actions he brought his hand up to the ties of her nightgown. She watched her reflection as he pulled the linen off her shoulders to pool round her feet. Her expression didn't change, it never did when he did his inspections, but she did raise her hands to cover herself. He brought his eyes up to meet hers, 'No don't do that,' he'd said, pulling her arms away and running his hands down her body.

'You're too skinny Alexandra.' He ran his hand down her ribs and over her hips, the bones standing proud. His fingers moved though the blond hairs between her legs and she could hear his heavy breathing in her ear.

'You need more muscle if you're going to convince anyone you're a man.' His hand had moved to her breasts. 'These however. You'll have no problem convincing anyone your male with these. God, Alex, I thought they'd grow as you got older but even now I'm not sure anyone could call these tits.' He laughed as she twisted one her nipples between his fingers and she worked hard to keep her expression neutral.

With one last look down her body he patted her arse before turning and leaving the room, shouting 'eat more' as he went.

Alex stood shivering in front her mirror, finally letting the shame show in her eyes.

'Alex! Alex' she could hear Olivia calling her, but it was as if it was from far away. She slowly became aware that she was sitting on the forest floor, her knees against her chest, as Olivia crouched in front of her.

'Sorry they're not very big.' She tried to smile and pretend nothing had happened as she wiped the tears off her cheeks.

Olivia brought her hand up and cupped the side of her face. 'Don't worry,' she smiled back 'it's greedy to want more than a handful.'

'I guess I'm greedy then.' Alex replied looking down at Olivia's still uncovered breasts. She leaned forward and kissed her smiling face.

'Do you want to talk about it?' Olivia asked when Alex leaned away.

The memory came flooding back again and Alex hated that she couldn't control the tears that spilled down her cheeks or the sobs that shook her chest. 'It's not bad Olivia, I swear. I swear I wasn't….. he never…. I…. I haven't…. with anyone…. please believe me….. please I haven't…. Please' Alex cried, once again struggling with her words, getting more and more agitated as she spoke.

Olivia pulled her into her arms and their bare chests pressed together. 'Shhhhhh I believe you, I believe you. But Alex,' she made the blond look at her, 'sweetheart something happened. Something hurt you and I just want to help. Please let me help.'

Alex rested her head back on Olivia's chest and took a shaky breath before starting. 'My father would come in sometimes and decide that I would need an inspection. When I was younger he would just come in during bath time and sit and watch but as I got older it changed. He'd comment on how I'd look. He always said my breasts were too small. That I was too skinny, too tall, too fat, too ugly. When I was thirteen and started to bleed I thought I was dying, before he explained it but from then on he did more than just comment. He would put,' Alex's voice got ragged and she struggled to get her words out over the sobs,'

'Shhh it's alright sweetheart, you can tell me. It's alright.' Olivia comforted her, rocking them both slightly.

'He'd put a finger inside me. Not far but it wouldn't feel good. He said I couldn't put anything near there or he'd know. I couldn't go near any of the guards or servants or he'd know. That I was his, his secret and no one else's. One day when I was maybe sixteen he came and afterwards he screamed that I'd broken my promise. That I'd let someone touch me, but I swear I hadn't. He tied me to the bed and left me for days. Then one day this other man shows up starts touching me and my father just let him. They left and I was let out again but I still don't know what I did wrong. I didn't Olivia, I promise. I'm sorry…..I'm sorry.'

Olivia was appalled at Alex's story and was happy that she couldn't see the pain written across her face. She knew what the Sheriff was feeling for but decided that now wasn't the time to explain to Alex what it was.

'Did you ever fight back?' she asked.

'No. I never really knew it wasn't normal and it made him happy. I wanted to make him happy. Besides he never did anything else. It isn't bad because nothing else happened. I'm not one of those children. I'm not….I'm not.' Alex became overcome with tears once again.

'Shhhhh, it's not your fault Alex. It's not your fault.'

'I've ruined it.' Alex replied when she got her breathing back under control.

'Ruined what sweetheart, everything's fine.'

'I've ruined it. It was supposed to be perfect. I wanted you to want me…. And…. And I couldn't….'

'Alex. Alex look at me. You haven't ruined anything. I promise. I've wanted you for a long time too,' Alex looked up shocked. 'but there's no rush. We can take this slow, get use to each other. I want you…..' she felt herself get choked, 'I want you to feel loved Alex.'

They looked at each other for a long time, neither wanting to look away, but the cold made Alex wish for her shirt. They both redressed exchanging small smiles as they did so.

'Common, let's go home.' Olivia offered her hand and Alex took it, both of them standing. Alex went to say that she wanted Olivia to feel loved too. That she wanted to give her everything and that she was sorry she was too broken to do so but Olivia suddenly pounced on her and forced her to the ground.

While they been speaking they hadn't notice the convoy on the road, coming straight towards them.

A/N: Okay, so I'd meant to save this till tomorrow so I was one chapter ahead (so busy days like Thursday don't disrupt daily updates) but apparently I need constant feedback so it's being posted now :P

I haven't written anything like this before so any constructive feedback would be useful especially regarding the flash back, hopefully it wasn't too jarring? and that the rest of it read realistically.