CHAPTER 31: That Night
This is getting worse. I think I'm in trouble.
It's almost been a week since the dance, and we were finally on our winter break. Everyone was probably enjoying the fact that they had no school work to do, and they could go meet up with their friends and all. But not me. The thing is, I've been quite restless lately.
Every time I wake up in the morning, he instantly pops in my head. Every time I try to have a peaceful lunch, I see him munching a burger. Every time I go to bed, I couldn't sleep because of him.
Why? Let me tell you why.
That night, right after the dance, people were starting to leave already. I was going to ride home with my friends, but I found out that they were going to this after-party at someone's house. The dance totally drained me and I wasn't really in the mood for another party. We were at the exit, about to head to the parking lot.
"Fine, I'll go with you," Olivia said after much convincing from Claire. "But I'm leaving after a while."
"Can you guys just drop me off at my house or something?" I asked.
"Why don't you just come with us?" Claire said.
"I don't really feel like going. Kinda tired, you know."
Claire looked disappointed, but I think she understood me anyway.
"Well, I guess we can just do that, right? Pass by April's house then go back?" Mae responded, looking at her boyfriend.
Matt sighed. "It's out of the way, though. Jonas's house is the opposite direction, and it's a bit far too." He was the one driving. I had a feeling that he was just lazy to go back and forth.
"Oh. Well, I'll just find my way. You guys go," I told them.
"How?" Mae said. "It's late. There aren't much cabs at this hour."
"I'll find a way, don't worry. Go on. You'll be late." I forced a smile.
"Alright, let's go!" Matt announced, sliding his arm over Mae's shoulders and leading the way. He probably didn't even care if I was going or not.
Claire, Mae, and Ethan waved at me before following Matt to the car. Olivia told me to be safe before she caught up with them.
I waved goodbye as the car drove past me.
Now, how am I going home?
It was probably an hour or less 'til midnight, and I actually didn't have any plan in mind when I hurried them to leave. I just didn't want to be that much of a burden to my friends if they weren't completely willing to drop me off anyway.
While standing there and thinking of a way to get home, my feet started to hurt, probably from wearing heels all night. I twisted and stretched each foot carefully, placing my hand on the wall behind me for support
Just then, Rodrick walked out of the door and noticed me trying to massage the back of my foot. I immediately stood up straight upon seeing him just a few steps away from me.
"Oh, hey," he said, with his hands in his pockets.
The scene of us slow-dancing and him leaning in so close started replaying in my mind again. I couldn't even look at him properly. I tried my best to shrug it off. "Hey."
He peeked to my other side, and then scanned the parking lot as if he was looking for something. "Where are your friends?"
"Oh, they went to that after-party thing."
He suddenly pulled his hands out of his pockets. "And they just left you here?!" He sounded like he was about to scold someone.
"My… My house is out of the way, so I told them to just go."
"So how are you going home?"
I shrugged. "That's what I'm trying to figure out." I smiled sheepishly.
He paused for a moment, as if trying to think of something, maybe a solution to my problem. "Don't you want to go to the party?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Not really in the mood for that… I'm tired."
He nodded. Right then, his friend, Ben walked out of the exit throwing the car keys up in the air and catching them again with his hand. Rodrick immediately approached him.
"Dude, let me borrow your car."
What's he doing? I thought. "Rodrick," I whispered, trying to call him. He glanced at me. "Rodrick, you don't have to—" I wasn't able to finish because he shook his head and signaled me to keep quiet. Is Rodrick going to drive me home? I wasn't sure if I could stand an entire car ride with him after what happened during the dance. It was no doubt a sweet memory, but it was also when my heart beat the fastest and I was totally not over it. I might just end up acting like a complete weirdo when I'm with him.
"You wanna drive to the party?" Ben asked.
"No, I'm going home."
He looked frustrated. "Whaaat?! You said you're going with us."
"Nah, I'm tired… and my head hurts." Rodrick pointed to his temples. "Come on, bro."
Ben held on to the keys tightly, balling his hand into a fist. "No way, man. We need a car to the party."
"Then just drop me off at my house."
Rodrick's other friend with the blonde hair appeared beside them with another girl I'd never seen before. "Are we ready yet? Let's go."
"Dude, Rodrick wants to borrow my car to drive himself home," Ben told him.
"Man, I don't think we can walk to Jonas's." Blonde guy shook his head, looking at Rodrick.
"I'm not really feeling well, man. I gotta head home," Rodrick insisted.
The girl interrupted, "Chris, my friend's offering a ride. If there are just three of us, I think we can still fit." Apparently blonde guy's name was Chris. I always kept forgetting that.
"Oh really?" Chris said. "Cool. I'm good with that." He looked at Ben.
"Fine." Ben nodded, then turned to Rodrick. "You got lucky, bro." He threw him the keys. "You sure you're not going?"
Rodrick shook his head when he caught them. "Have fun and get drunk for me!" he said. They all started walking to the direction of the vehicle of that girl's friend.
"I got you a ride," Rodrick said, turning around and showing me the keys.
I smiled. "Thanks, Heffley."
He started walking towards Ben's car, which was on the opposite direction of where his friends went. I followed him. A thought came to mind. "You don't really have a headache, do you? I mean, can you drive properly?"
He didn't respond until we got settled in the car. He yawned right while taking off his coat. "Honestly, Prescott, I'm kinda sleepy right now."
I was just about to buckle my seat belt then. "You know what? Why don't we just switch? I can drive." I started opening the door again.
"Sit down. I'm just joking!" He called out.
"Ugh. Just... drive excellently." I closed the door and buckled my seat belt. He shouldn't be joking about those things.
"Drive excellently?" Rodrick repeated, sniggering as he started the engine.
Who says 'Drive excellently'? April, get yourself together!
"Just don't get us killed, okay?!" I replied, a little louder than expected.
"Woah, okay. Calm down, woman," Rodrick said as the car started moving. I took a deep breath.
The ride going home felt longer than it should be, most probably because we were both silent for the first few minutes. There were still attempts to start a good conversation.
Rodrick cleared his throat. "The dance wasn't that bad, huh?" he said after a few minutes on the road.
"Huh?" I looked at him, and he was focused on driving. It was dark already. Only lamp posts lit up the streets. Not much cars were passing by and it was a bit hard to see the signs if one wasn't paying attention. "Oh. Yeah, uh… It was okay."
"By the way, I forgot to get you the cupcakes. Sorry."
"Cupcakes?" I asked, still disoriented.
"Yeah. I told you I'd get you some, right?" he replied, glancing once or twice.
I paused and tried to remember. Right. It was when we were talking about Lizard Boy and he was teasing me about being Lizard Girl. "Oh, that." I didn't know he was being serious about it. I shook my head. "It's okay. I totally forgot about it anyway. And I ate a lot of those already, so… Yeah. It's okay."
He smiled. "I'll make it up to you next time."
"You don't have to." I shook my head. "It's okay, really. I'm not even, like, the biggest fan of cupcakes."
"Not a big fan, huh? I guess so, considering you ate a lot, like you mentioned." Rodrick laughed.
"That was just tonight, I swear. Because the icing was so good!" I ended up laughing too.
After that, we both fell silent, just staring at the road ahead. It was like that for a while.
"Do you want to listen to some music?" he asked suddenly, probably already deafened by the silence.
"Oh. Uh, yeah sure." I nodded.
He reached out and turned on the stereo. When he did, an extremely loud screech pierced through our ears. I instantly covered mine.
"Woah!" Rodrick grimaced and rushed to turn the volume down.
"What was that?" I asked, pulling my hands away from my ears.
"That's… one of our songs." It was the first time he sounded like he wasn't proud of his band.
I pulled my earlobes a few times. "I think I won't be able to hear properly again."
"Hey, come on. It's not actually a bad song. Ben just likes to play it really loud."
"I'm surprised he can still hear well."
"Here, listen." He turned the volume up a bit higher, but only up to something tolerable to the ears.
I did. It wasn't that bad. Just the typical punk rock stuff you'd hear on the radio, only this one had more references to diapers. I had no idea why they kept doing that. "It's okay," I said. "But it's still noisy."
"That's what you call music."
I suppressed a laugh. "Apparently music is singing about diapers?" He told me the same thing about their 'music' numerous times. I looked at him and shook my head.
"No?" He glanced, still trying to convince me.
"Not my type of music, sorry," I said.
"Fine. Let's find something else then." He pressed some buttons, and switched from one station to another. I noticed that he was looking back and forth from the road and the radio, which was quite risky.
"I'll do it," I said, reaching for the buttons.
"No, it's okay," he replied, not listening again. He still kept fiddling on the buttons.
"Just focus on driving safely—"
As I was reaching out, our hands slightly touched. I froze. Suddenly my breathing became irregular again, and my heart started beating faster. Electricity surged through my body. What the heck? It wasn't as if Rodrick's hands and mine never touched before. I admit that there were times I got a bit startled whenever he took my hand or my arm but it never felt like this. I remembered how it felt to hold his hand while we were dancing. I just couldn't get it off my mind.
Rodrick paused as well, and for a moment stared at his hand. Then he realized he was driving, so he abruptly pulled it back and placed it on the steering wheel, holding it tighter as if he wasn't going to let go. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, um. Right. I'll just... drive."
"Yeah. Do that." I snapped back into reality, and started finding a good song to listen to, while trying to push my other thoughts to the back of my mind.
I skipped a number of noisy songs and ballads. Finally, I came across one that was mellow and relaxing to listen to. The song was almost over and I didn't even know the title. It sounded like a good one.
Both of us were still quiet even as the next song started. I know I said I didn't want that night to end, but I didn't want it stretched out like this either.
I guess Rodrick felt that too.
"Glad we're finally on vacation, huh?" he said, breaking the silence as he tried to start a decent conversation.
I was glad he did that. I leaned back, relaxing a bit. "Yeah. We can finally take a break."
He smiled. "You can finally take a break from school. You've been intense the entire time."
"Intense?"
"Intense. You know, intense studying, intense homework-making, intense project-making, intense nagging at your project partner…" He side-eyed me as he said that last bit.
I avoided his look and pressed my lips. "What are you talking about? I wasn't like that." No, I was guilty of everything he said. He snorted. When I glanced at him, he was shaking his head. "Okay. Maybe I was. But admit it, me being like that helped you a lot too."
He smiled again. "Whatever. Why are you always so caught up in school anyway?"
"What do you mean? I focus on school because I need to pass, and get good grades as much as possible. We all do, right?"
"I mean, you tend to over-worry and pressure yourself, you know. You focus too much on it. You said it yourself, sometimes you don't get enough sleep, especially when it's exam week."
I paused and stared at the empty road ahead, thinking about what he just said. All of those were true. I looked at him and just shrugged.
He nodded. "Well, it was just an observation. We spent a lot of time together these past few months, and… yeah. That's one thing I noticed."
"Well… My parents work hard to pay for school, and I don't know, I just feel like doing well in school is a way of paying them back, you know?"
He glanced at me. "That doesn't mean you have to worry too much about it every minute of every day."
"Hey, I don't worry about it every minute of every day!"
He laughed, which made me smile too. "Okay I was exaggerating, but you know what I mean. You're smart—"
I shook my head. "Come on, I'm not that smart—"
"You're not a genius, but you are smart. Plus you're organized, and most of the time, you've got everything under control. You'll freakin' pass your classes without being so uptight."
It took me a while to answer. I never had to explain myself about school to anyone before. Nobody really bothered to ask anyway. "I'm not really sure, Rodrick," I said. "It's always been like that."
He paused, probably trying to think of an answer himself. "Oh… Your parents aren't pressuring you to get, like, super good grades, are they?"
I shook my head. "No. They're okay as long as I pass and my grades aren't super low. It's mostly just me… versus myself." I never really thought about it that way before. It just came as a realization at that moment. "I mean, if I don't do my best, then I might fail. If I fail, I won't get any job, my parents might disown me. If I don't have a job, I won't have any money. I won't be able to buy my basic needs. And then I'll die—"
"Overthinking again, Prescott," Rodrick butted in.
"Oh. Right. Sorry… I just want to be successful in the future, you know?"
"You're good, okay? You're life shouldn't revolve around school because that's gonna suck."
I let out a silent laugh. "Maybe I just got used to studying extra hard since I was young? Even my brother…" I trailed off, hesitating to talk about him. I always ended up breaking down whenever I did.
Rodrick glanced at me. Immediately, he tried to change the topic, to pick me back up again. "Uh... You know, sometimes I just talk too much, haha. You don't really have to answer all my questions."
I suppressed a smile. Rodrick is someone I trust, and everything's gonna be okay, I told myself. I took a deep breath, and then gave him a reassuring look. "My brother was a star student back then. He's a natural. He didn't even have to try so hard. It's not like my parents compared me to him or anything, but I knew they were proud of him. So I wanted to be like him. He also encouraged me a lot, tutored me, gave me tips, and stuff. And yeah maybe studying hard and trying my best just became part of my system, you know?" I smiled, remembering those good memories with my brother.
Rodrick nodded slowly. "I see," he replied. "But don't pressure yourself too much. You have to live in the moment sometimes."
Again, that made me smile. He kept doing and saying so many things that night that made me smile. "Thanks for the tip, Heffley."
"You know, when you got drunk that time at my party…" he started.
My smile disappeared in an instant. "Oh no, why are you bringing that up? It's so embarrassing." I covered my face with my hands.
"No, no. Listen," he continued. I put my hands back down and listened carefully to what he said. "When you were drunk that night, you just let go of everything and had fun. Sometimes you can be like that. You'll enjoy each moment more, trust me."
"Are you telling me to get drunk?"
He instantly shook his head. "No, that's not my point! I don't want to end up taking care of drunk April again. Do you have any idea what I had to go through that night?!"
That made me laugh hard. "Kidding. But I get your point."
He laughed too. Suddenly a familiar song started playing. It began with a piano solo.
My attention shifted instantly to it. "Oh, I love this song!"
Rodrick seemed to get excited too just before the lyrics started coming in. "Ooh! White Chicks, White Chicks!"
Making my way downtown walking fast
Faces pass and I'm home bound
I was confused. "What? Isn't this A Thousand Miles?"
"Yeah, duh. That song is in White Chicks. You know, the movie."
"Oh. Right, yeah." I nodded, not really sure what he was talking about.
Rodrick's eyes widened when he saw my reaction. "No way. Don't tell me you haven't seen White Chicks." He looked at me a couple more times. I thought hard if I did see that movie, but it didn't ring a bell. I shrugged and shook my head. "What?!" he suddenly exclaimed like he couldn't believe it. "Seriously?!" I supressed a laugh watching him react like that. He continued, "That's a freakin' hilarious classic, dude! Watch it. You should watch it." He kept repeating that.
"Okay, I'll watch it!" I said, laughing already. I turned the volume a little higher.
He kept insisting. "Watch it as soon as you get home tonight!" he shouted over the loud music.
I shook my head, trying not to laugh. "I can't watch it tonight!"
"Ugh, just watch it ASAP!"
"Yes, sir!" I did a soldier's salute.
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
I started singing along and bopping my head. Rodrick was just looking at me from time to time while he kept driving.
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
"Tenenenenenen. Tententen. Tenenenenenen—" I pretended to play an imaginary piano.
Rodrick snickered. "What the heck was that?"
"The piano part, duh. You always have to sing along to that part!"
"Weirdo," he replied, smirking.
I sang the next verse while holding an invisible microphone, and dancing to the melody. It was as if I was holding a concert in Ben's car. The whole time, Rodrick was just smirking and probably internally laughing and judging me.
And I'll need you
And I'll miss you
And now I wonder…
Right before the song hit the chorus again, I held the invisible mic in front of him, forcing him to sing along to the next part. He had this WTF face and shook his head, missing the first few lines of the chorus. But I was persistent, not moving my fist away from him because I knew that part of him wanted to sing along too. He just thought it looked stupid. He rolled his eyes and finally gave in.
...If I could just see you tonight
"Wooo, yeah!" I almost yelled, clapping my hands. He just shook his head, laughing. Then we both sang along while acting like we were in a dramatic music video or something.
"I have a feeling you aren't really tired yet," he said when the song was almost over. He glanced at me, his eyes with a hint of suspicion.
I then tried to defend myself. "Hey, I really was tired when the dance ended!"
He shook his head. "A minute ago you were just dancing and singing like you have a winter dance hangover!"
"Well because!"
"Because?" he asked again as he lowered the volume of the radio. There really was no reason to ask why and what happened. But I wondered why he was questioning me like that. I think I got pressured that I couldn't think of a proper explanation. Then he pointed a finger at me. "Admit it…"
"Admit what?!" I replied in disbelief.
"That you're just lazy to go to the party and you don't want to be pressured into drinking." He sounded like he was stating a fact.
There was a moment of silence. He had this funny look on his face—like he just solved a case and refused to listen to other possible conclusions.
I hesitated to say something, but did anyway because it was getting too quiet again. "Okay, it's not that I'm lazy—"
"Ha!"
"I just don't want to end up drunk—"
"Knew that."
"But the dance really drained me, I swear. I'm not lying about that, I promise!" I raised my right hand and put my left one over my chest.
"Whatever," Rodrick replied with an annoying tone, obviously trying to tease me again. I just rolled my eyes, though I couldn't help but laugh after that. "The heck was all that singing and dancing though?" he added.
I acted shocked and offended. "Are you judging me?"
"I'm just asking! A few moments ago you were all relaxed and quiet, then you're suddenly acting like you're in a karaoke place."
"You sang along too," I muttered.
He became defensive. "Wha—I was forced to! And I just happened to know the lyrics."
I laughed. "Stop it, Heffley. I knew you wanted to sing along the moment the song started."
He frowned. "What? No! Psh. What made you say that?"
"Didn't you hear yourself getting all excited?" I then imitated him saying White Chicks.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "At least I don't pretend like I'm holding a microphone."
"I bet you'd do that if it was some rock song playing." I leaned back and crossed my arms.
He shook his head. "See, Prescott, I don't hold the mic, I play the drums," he said, as if he was explaining a scientific theory.
"Just the drums?" I asked, and he just nodded. "But you have a guitar in your room. Surely you can play that!"
He sighed. "That wasn't my point, but.. Yeah, of course." His voice lowered, as if he didn't really want to talk about it. "I play it... sometimes."
"You're good at it too." I didn't hesitate to compliment him. I heard him play once and he really was good. He only glanced at me when I said that, brows slightly furrowed. Maybe he didn't remember that time when I burst into his room and he frantically kept the guitar away.
He fell silent and stared at the road. When I looked at him, it seemed like he'd rather concentrate on it than continue the conversation. If I hadn't cleared my throat to signal that I was waiting a reply, he probably would have stayed silent until we got home. "Yeah, well, I'm good, but not… good. I don't get to play it that often," he said.
I was surprised that he gave that answer. He usually complimented himself. But this time he was downplaying himself. "What?! What makes you say that?" I asked. Again, a moment passed and he still kept quiet. "Rodrick, are you okay?"
He took a deep breath. "It's just… ever since the band started, I always played the drums. No other instrument. My bandmates would switch roles sometimes. It's easy for them to."
"Then why don't you try switching with them if you wanna perform with the guitar?"
He laughed. It didn't feel like a genuine one, though. It felt like he was hiding behind that laugh. "Nah, they're good at it… Better than me. Besides, they told me I'm better off just sticking to the drums. None of them can play it as well as I did, they said."
I frowned. That didn't sound right. "Wait, why do they do that to you? Weren't you the one who formed the band? If there's someone ordering others around, it should be you."
He paused to think. The he shook his head. "No, no, no. We're like brothers, you know? No one orders anyone around. They didn't force me to play the drums forever. They just gave… a nice, sensible comment and suggestion, which I accepted."
I looked at him. He had a straight face, and for a moment Rodrick's proud, confident facade disappeared. "But you want to play the guitar."
"What?" He was caught off guard by that statement.
"You want to play the guitar, right?"
He hesitated. "Well… yeah. I mean, it's fun."
"Yeah, there! Okay, so maybe it's not about ordering anyone around. Maybe it's about trying to explore more of your musical capabilities. All of you. Maybe you can convince your bandmates to switch positions with you. Maybe try jamming or practicing first, then be the guitarist in one of your gigs." I knew it was easier said than done, but there was no harm suggesting it anyway. Maybe he just had to hear it from someone.
He narrowed his eyes, nodded a bit. I thought he was considering it. But suddenly he shook his head and focused on driving. "It might be hard to convince them, so never mind."
I sighed, frustrated. It didn't really have anything to do with me, but I felt so affected. I couldn't believe Rodrick was just throwing his potentials away like that. I didn't expect him to downplay himself, to just give up without even trying. "How did you get into music anyway?" I asked.
"What? Why are you suddenly asking that?" He snorted. When I didn't respond, he glanced at me. I only raised my eyebrows, waiting for his answer. He sighed. "It started when I was young, okay? I was grounded so I couldn't play my video games. I couldn't watch TV either. So you could guess how freakin' bored I was."
I gave a laugh. "Yeah, I could imagine."
He glanced at me for a second and then went back to telling his story. "So while my mom was cooking, I kept going all around the house, looking for something to do. In one of the cabinets inside their room, I saw a bunch of rectangle things stacked beside a small radio."
"Casette tapes," I said.
Rodrick nodded. "I didn't know what on earth those things were back then, but I tinkered with the radio and the tapes and suddenly some song was playing." He smiled. "I snuck into their room a lot of times just for that. Somehow they found out about it because they bought me a guitar for my birthday... And the rest was history."
It was my first time hearing that story. "So the guitar really was your first instrument, huh?" He nodded again. "Then how did you become the drummer in your band?" I asked.
He took a turn before answering. "I started playing the drums in middle school. Those days when I spent hours on YouTube watching bands play."
I nodded, taking that answer in. "Okay, next question—"
"Woah, woah, wait a second. I wasn't informed that this is an interview?!"
I ignored that side comment. "Why do you love music so much?"
He heaved a sigh. I thought he wasn't gonna answer my question anymore. But after a few moments, he said, "There's just something about it that... keeps my feet on the ground, you know?" He glanced at me then back to the road ahead. "Music can calm me, help me express what I feel, it can communicate. It's like... that friend who'll always be there no matter what. I mean, I can't live without it. Life's just gonna be a hundred times more boring without music."
I smiled. It was nice to see Rodrick talk about something he's so passionate about. His eyes sparkled while he did all these hand gestures. His lips curled into a smile every few seconds. I think I had fallen into a trance during that moment.
"And being able to make music just makes me happy," he added, glancing at me again.
I realized that I was still smiling fondly at him, so I immediately snapped out of it and stared at the road again. I think he noticed it though.
"Right," I said, trying to remember my train of thought. "See? You love music so much. You shouldn't pull yourself down. Remember when you didn't limit yoursef to the guitar? Do the same. You shouldn't limit yourself to just the drums, especially if you really want to play or learn another instrument. Spend more time with the guitar. You can even try to improve on your singing, if you want," I looked at him, and he was just driving silently. Was he listening? I didn't know. I kept talking anyway. "You're a pretty confident guy. Talented too. Don't throw the potential away, because you do have it. Don't box yourself when it comes to music—or anything you're passionate about for that matter."
He was quiet for a solid two minutes. I was thinking, Yeah, he didn't listen to a word I said, until I heard the sound of clapping.
Rodrick let go of the freakin' steering wheel just to slow-clap. He was also shaking his head and had a touched look on his face like he was about to cry. "Good speech," he commented. Take note: we were still moving on the road. There weren't much cars but it was dark, and you wouldn't know if a vehicle would suddenly pop out nowhere.
Naturally, I started panicking. "Hey, what are you doing?! You could get us in trouble!"
He chuckled as put his hands back on the steering wheel. He probably knew that I was going to react that way.
I rolled my eyes at him. "Not funny, Heffley. Not funny."
"Fine, I'm sorry," he said in between laughs. I glared at him. He stopped laughing, cleared his throat, and spoke in a serious tone. "Sorry."
On a normal day, I probably would have ignored him or nagged him more. I didn't know why but I was quick to let it go that night. I just shook my head, trying my best to hide my smile.
Rodrick probably noticed that because he smiled too. He didn't comment on my 'good speech' anymore. The next thing he said was, "Oh, good it just ended. That song's making me sleepy." And that was when the song on the radio just ended.
The next one was Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. And honestly, how could you not jam to that song?
I instantly bopped my head again, while Rodrick shouted, "Woo! Now this is way better!"
We both sang along, laughing from time to time, especially when we couldn't hit the notes.
We were just halfway through the first chorus when I noticed that we were along our street already. Ugh, why do we always have to get off the car whenever the good songs are playing?
"Oh, we're almost there," I said, somewhat disappointed.
"Mhm." Rodrick lowered the volume a bit and slowed down. The song was still playing, but we were both silent for a few moments... until Rodrick suddenly asked, "Are you that tired already?"
I wasn't able to answer immediately. I looked out the window, and I could already spot my house just a few meters away. "Not really," I replied, though I was still thinking twice about that answer.
"If you want… we can just keep driving around 'til we finish the song," he suggested.
To be honest, I thought that was a good idea. I peeked over at my house again. And then I checked my phone. No calls, no messages. My parents were probably asleep. "Sure," I said to Rodrick with a firm nod. "Let's go."
He pulled to a stop. "You sure? Your parents won't get mad?"
I shook my head and gave him a reassuring smile. "I think it's gonna be okay. I can live in the moment once in a while."
A smile spread across his face. He nodded and started driving again as he turned the volume back up.
At first we were just feeling the music. It was only towards the end when we started singing again.
And no, we didn't go home when the song ended. Rodrick just kept driving around while we listened and hummed along to a variety of songs with different genres. When we didn't really know the lyrics, we chatted about random things. We even ended up passing by the park and the mall—two places that aren't so near to our houses when you try to get there by foot.
I didn't know what time it was. I didn't even bother to check because I was having so much fun.
"Are you hungry?" Rodrick asked. I knew it. He was bound to get hungry at some point.
I shook my head. "Not really."
"What?! How are you not hungry?!" he said loudly, like he really couldn't believe that I wasn't hungry.
I laughed. I'd been laughing a lot the entire night. "I'm just… not hungry! How do I even explain that?!"
"Well I'm hungry."
I looked at the streets. "Can you still find a place that's open? Maybe we can just go for a drive-thru?"
He started whining. "No, I wanna legit sit down and munch on something! I'm tired of driving too!"
"Where are we gonna find food? It's so dark!"
He started checking the surroundings too. "Hmm… There's this 24-hour diner I used to go to with my friends, just a few blocks away from here. If it's still exists, we can eat there! You can get a drink if you don't want to eat."
"Fine. I hope it exists and we don't get lost."
A few minutes later, we found the diner. It was pretty old and there were only a few people. But at least it did exist.
"Oh wow, it's cold," I muttered as soon as I got out of the car. The thing was, my shawl wasn't really thick enough for the winter cold. I thought I didn't have to use it since I assumed that I wouldn't spend too much time outside. Good thing Rodrick parked just a few steps from the door, so I didn't really have to worry about it. I left it back in the car.
"What do you want?" Rodrick asked when we got to our table. A waitress stood there with a pen and paper in hand.
I looked over the menu, thinking if I should get a bite as well. "I'll just have a vanilla milkshake," I told the waitress. I really didn't feel like eating. I think I ate too much during the dance. Rodrick was judging me again based on the look of his eyes.
"We have a promo for the milkshakes. A perfect one for couples: Buy one, take one, but it has to be the strawberry milkshake. Maybe you'd like to avail it?" the waitress said, somewhat lazily.
"Oh, we're not—"
"Sure!" Rodrick interrupted me. I frowned, trying to send him signals to stop. He ignored me. "We'll get that. Add a double cheeseburger and one large fries too."
I gave Rodrick a shocked expression as the waitress repeated our orders. She left right after that. "Okay, what was that all about?"
"What—we could save money! Nothing wrong with it." He gave a mischievous but charming smile.
I shook my head, and yet couldn't help but smile. "Fine. But don't you know it's bad to eat too much this late?" I said to him.
"Don't you know drinking sweets before you sleep will give you nightmares?" he retorted.
I wasn't going to give up easily. "But I'm not going to sleep yet."
"You're going to sleep when you get home." And neither would he.
"I'm not gonna teleport to my bed right after drinking milkshake!"
"You might fall asleep in the car."
I crossed my arms. "No, I won't!"
"Fine. If you do fall asleep, you have to treat me food when we get back to school after Christmas break!"
"And if I don't, you treat me food," I said confidently. Rodrick was definitely going to lose the game.
"It's a deal then!" He reached out for a handshake.
"Deal!" We shook hands and sealed it off. It was such a petty thing, if you ask me.
Then both of us fell silent for a second because the waitress arrived and placed two tall glasses of milkshake on the table. She looked annoyed at us. Her lips were pursed and her eyebrows were constantly raised with a slight frown. When she left, we broke into silent laughter.
Rodrick imitated her funny annoyed face, and I couldn't stop laughing. He made another joke. And another. My stomach already hurt from laughing, and I couldn't drink my milkshake properly.
Then, out of the blue, he took out his phone and held it in front of his face, trying to discreetly take photos of me laughing. I only found out immediately because his phone wasn't on silent mode and I heard the shutter sound.
"Hey, stop that!" I pointed at his phone.
"Stop what?!" He tried to act innocent, though he never put his phone down.
For some reason I still couldn't help but laugh. A huge smile was painted over my face even though he was teasing me again. "Stop taking pictures!" I tried to grab his phone.
He whispered, "I just wanna remember this moment when you laughed so hard because of the lady."
I laughed again, trying to block the camera and telling him to stop. It was no use so I just covered my face, peeking only to see if he kept it already. He didn't. "If you don't wanna keep your phone, then fine!" I took out mine and started taking pictures of him too. He blocked it with his phone, but I snapped a photo from the side and then the other, then from the top. At one point, Rodrick even stood up while pushing my phone down so he could avoid my it and take another picture of me at the same time. It was a pretty stupid picture taking battle, yet were laughing so hard and making so much noise.
We only stopped when the waitress appeared by our table again, glaring our both of us. She placed Rodrick's order in front of him, and then said, "I'll just take a picture of both of you if you want."
I shook my head. "Oh, there's no nee—"
"Thanks." Rodrick handed his phone to the lady before I could even finish talking. Then he already posed and smiled for the photo.
I was hesitating, but I turned to the waitress and gave my best smile anyway.
After taking the photo, she gave the phone back to Rodrick and left. He inspected the picture for a second. Satisfied, he smiled again, then immediately slipped the phone back into his pocket.
"Wow, you're not even showing me the photo?" I asked after I took another sip from my milkshake.
"Why? You didn't even want one, right?" he said as he started eating. I only rolled my eyes, and drank milkshake.
We stayed at the diner for quite a while. Rodrick kept making jokes at first while he ate (and I casually took some fries from his plate). We talked about the past semester. We talked about our friends and family. We even played this random game that Rodrick made up. It went something like this: one of us brought up a topic, for example, favorite TV show. Then at the count of three, both of us had answer it at the same time.
Favorite movie. Favorite TV show. Favorite song. Favorite breakfast food. Time you wake up. Favorite book. Favorite milkshake flavor. Chocolates or candies. Ideal date place. Class you hate most. Weirdest thing you've done. And so on, and so forth. That game took forever, only because we both had so much side comments, especially when we gave the same answers. We ended up talking about the most random things before getting back to the game again.
Long after we've finished our milkshakes, Rodrick asked for the bill.
"How much is it?" I asked, opening my wallet so I could pitch in.
"Don't bother." He shook his head and gave the payment to the waitress.
"No, really, how much?" I insisted. I didn't want anyone paying for what I bought.
He shook his head. "You only ordered a milkshake. Don't worry about it."
"But it's not fair. I ate some of your fries."
"It's okay." He assured me. "You'll treat me lunch anyway because you'll fall asleep in the car," he said as he got up. "Wait for the change. I'll be right back." And he walked out of the diner.
Maybe he felt bad for dragging me here even though I wasn't hungry. Or maybe not. I wasn't really sure. I smiled, watching him go back to the car. Whatever the reason was, it was nice of him treat me a milkshake.
The waitress came back with the change. I thanked her and gathered the coins.
Rodrick got back inside, carrying his coat. Right. He's probably cold, I thought. I got up and handed him the money, which he put inside his pocket.
Then suddenly, he put his coat over me. "Okay, let's go," he said.
I didn't expect that. I wasn't able to reply immediately. No, I wasn't able to move immediately. He was already steps ahead but I was still there, standing with my eyes wide. Heck, I probably even blushed. But I did my best to hide that. I really did. I hoped he didn't notice.
When he looked back, he saw me frozen right there. "Come on, Prescott. Your parents might wake up and look for you."
I shook my head and snapped out of it. "Right." I followed and he waited by the door. "What's this coat for? I don't really need it. The car is just a few steps away. I can run," I said when I approached him.
He smirked. "Who are you kidding? You're wearing heels. It would be dangerous to run. And it's freezing out there. Plus you drank milkshake. Cold milkshake. So it'll be, like, twice colder." He opened the door, and allowed me to go out first.
Yeah, it was super cold. It seemed like the temperature decreased twice compared to when we got to the diner. Maybe it was because of the time. Or maybe Rodrick was right. "Wow, Heffley's a gentleman now, huh?" I commented, trying to sound cool, trying to sound like I didn't have butterflies flying in my stomach when he gave me his coat.
We got back to the car as fast as we could. I was about to give him back the coat but he said, "Just keep it on. I'll get it later."
The trip back was more quiet than earlier. We still played songs, hummed along, chatted a little; but maybe we were both tired already, so we didn't have that much energy to waste.
However, I was still determined to not fall asleep, despite most of the songs now being mellow.
At some point, Rodrick yawned.
"Don't fall asleep," I reminded him.
"Psh. How could I? I'm freakin' driving." He was focused, but I could tell he was sleepy. Poor Rodrick. Hhe had been driving all night.
I slightly felt bad. If I just chose to go home earlier, maybe he didn't have to feel that tired, I thought.
Meanwhile, he must have noticed that my head was down and I didn't reply after he said that. "What, do you wanna exchange seats?" he asked jokingly.
I looked up. "What? We can't do that while you're driving!"
"Sure, we can. Here, I'll take off my seatbelt…" He was about to unbuckle it already with his right hand.
"No, no, no!" I instantly reached out to stop him. And our hands touched. Again. I ended up holding his hand just to stop him from taking his seatbelt off, even though I knew he wouldn't really do that. Our hands touched earlier too, and I felt it again. The electricity. Rodrick fell silent too, like someone suddenly put him on mute. I just blinked, staring at his hand like an idiot. Then I realized he was driving, so I let it go. He immediately put it back on the steering wheel. "I'm fine where I'm sitting, thanks," I said, probably too quickly.
Rodrick cleared his throat. There was another moment of awkward silence, until he said something again. "Well, just help me then."
I was confused. "Help you drive?"
"Help me… not fall asleep," he replied, looking straight at the road ahead. "Talk to me or something."
I was talkative and energetic earlier. But during that time, I honestly didn't feel like talking, because of what just happened… because of what had been happening all night. "What am I supposed to talk about?"
He shrugged. "Anything. Or sing, maybe. Heh. You kept singing the entire night." He was doing a good job trying to erase the awkwardness.
I smiled. "If I sing, you have to sing along."
"Noooo. Then just talk about anything, then."
I sighed. "Talk about what?!"
"Anything. Come on, we're almost there, anyway."
I groaned, then paused for a bit to think of what random thing under the bright shining moon I could talk about at that moment. "The strawberry milkshake was good. It wasn't too sweet. Not too sour either."
Rodrick snickered.
"What are you laughing at?!" I said with a laugh. "Fine, I'll just shut up."
He shook his head. "No, no. Keep going, please."
I glared at him. When he glanced at me, he just signaled me to keep talking. I continued anyway. "The promo was a good deal. But the waitress didn't have to assume that we were a couple, like who is she to assume that?!"
As usual, he gave a side comment, even t hough he was just supposed to listen. "It doesn't matter if she did, though. At least we got a discount."
"Fine. And the monologue has now become a conversation! Please continue."
"Back to the monologue."
I rolled my eyes. "Anyway… Rodrick Heffley isn't talking to me right now, and I'm running out of things to talk about. But fine, whatever. I'll just keep talking, because Rodrick has been driving all night and he's tired." He nodded in agreement. I continued to talk about random things—the songs we listened to, my friends at school, the waitress at the diner, the cupcakes at the dance. Rodrick just continued to glance at me every now and then, with that charming, contented smile that never disappeared from his face the moment I started talking. I admit it: my heart skipped a beat every time he looked at me. I was actually surprised I didn't falter whenever our eyes met.
I eventually got tired of talking about ten minutes later. "Moving to Plainview wasn't so bad after all," I said. "If I never moved here, I never would have met all those friends. I never would have met you, and I never would have tasted that delicious strawberry milkshake… which I got for free."
Rodrick still kept that smile as he nodded.
"Okay, I'm done." I leaned back on the seat, trying to relax. "We've talked a lot tonight—or should I say this morning? Anyway, I might end up repeating stuff if I keep blabbing."
"I'm still awake, so you did a good job," Rodrick replied.
I snorted. "Whatever. We could've just turned the radio up the entire time, you know."
"Fine, if you want it so bad…" He turned up the volume, and the song was already in its chorus.
And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat
And I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me
I remained silent. But I knew the mood changed—it became more tense. Nope, the song wasn't helping us relax at all.
Part of me suddenly wanted to look for another song to listen to, but it could make things too awkward again. So I allowed the sweet song to keep playing, and stared at the darkness outside, while trying to look normal and resisting the urge to look at the ridiculously good-looking guy who was driving me home.
I'd be lying if I said that what happened back during the dance didn't pop up in my mind again, that everything that happened that night was forgettable and could be as fun if I did it with other friends. And I'd also be lying if I said that I was breathing like a normal person and that I couldn't hear my heart beating despite the radio playing.
For the rest of the ride home, neither Rodrick and I bothered to initiate a conversation. Only the song's words and melody made the silence less deafening.
We stop to get something to drink
My mind clouds and I can't think
Scared to death to say I love her
Then the moon peeks from the clouds
Hear my heart it speaks so loud
Tryin' to tell her simply…
That I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat
And I can't keep my eyes on the road
Just knowing that she's inches from me—
The car stopped and we were already in front of my house. I only realized that when Rodrick pushed a button on the radio that stopped the song. We didn't get to finish it.
But that was okay. I was just thankful that I got home safe.
"Oh. We're here," I said.
Rodrick sighed and nodded, still looking at the dark road in front of him. "Yep."
We both just sat there in the silence for a few more minutes as if none of us really wanted to leave yet, even though we've already unbuckled our seat belts. I actually wanted to go home, wash up, get a good rest. But something kept me glued to my seat.
Eventually, one of us had to break the silence so we could go home. I took off Rodrick's coat and handed it to him. "Thanks… for letting me borrow this, and for the ride too. Sorry for all the hassle."
"Don't worry about it." He gave a quick glance and a smile. Then he looked straight ahead again. "And we live on the same street. It would be an ass move to just let you wait for a ride 'til who knows what time."
"Sorry you weren't able to go the after-party because of me. It seemed like you and your friends had it planned already. And I'm sorry that you got so tired because of driving—"
He interrupted with a sigh. Then he shook his head. "It's okay, April. Really. Stop apologizing."
I looked down, my lips pressed together as I hid a smile. Then I nodded. Right. I didn't do anything wrong.
Another silent moment. When I looked up at him, he was gazing at me, a faint smile on the corner of his lips. That familiar gaze again, which gave me that warm fuzzy feeling, which made my heart beat twice as fast.
I smiled back shyly. "Well… I guess… I have to go now. Good night?"
He didn't reply. He only looked away from me, then down at his shoes. He tapped the steering wheel with his fingers.
"Good night then." I turned, and was about to open the door, when he held my hand.
Rodrick held my hand and I froze. Though he held it gently, I was pulled back to my seat. Pulled back to face him again.
It took a while before he said anything. He only looked at my hand, brushing it softly with his thumb. I stared at what he was doing, and then looked up at him, out of breath, out of words to say.
"Thank you," he said. Then he looked at me, with the same gaze that made me melt. He was serious and sincere this time. No jokes, no cover-ups. "Thank you for tonight. For everything. Even that advice you gave me earlier. It really means a lot… Thank you."
"Don't worry about it." I smiled shyly again.
He was still holding my hand. And it made me feel a lot warmer. "I'm honestly glad I didn't go to that stupid party. I had a great time with you tonight."
"Heh. It's already morning… but me too." I nodded. "I had a great time with you too."
And yet another long pause, as if time froze again. Rodrick just gazed at me. His eyes looked unsteady for a while, shifting his gaze from my eyes to other parts of my face, before he finally looked directly back into my eyes. He gulped. He bit his lip, though it was barely noticeable. I sensed that he was taking deeper breaths than normal.
Meanwhile, I was just hoping my heart wouldn't burst out of my chest. All those tiny details made me nervous. Suddenly it felt a lot hotter. And it made up for the cold winter night.
Rodrick gave a sweet smile. He squeezed my hand gently before letting go. After that, he turned and got out of the car.
I was stunned on my seat for a second, thinking, What was all that about? I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and decided to just keep it at the back of my mind so I could walk properly back to my house. I was about to open the door but Rodrick already beat me to it.
"Thanks," I said when I stepped out. He only gave a simple nod.
I went around the car. Rodrick followed behind me. We both walked until we got to the front door of my house. His hands were in his pockets the entire time.
I turned to him. "So, uh..." I almost forgot what I was going to say. "Thanks again." I wasn't even sure if that's what I was supposed to say, or if I was even supposed to say anything.
He gave a smile. "No. Thank you." He took out one hand and was about to reach out, but for some reason, he pulled it back and slipped it in his pocket again.
I nodded, smiled at him as well. Another quiet moment passed. I was probably too distracted looking at him that my mind kept buffering. "You can go now if you want," I said, gesturing slightly towards the direction of his house.
"Nah, go in first," he said.
"Heh. No, it's okay. You can go."
He looked down and nodded. But before he turned and walked away, he looked up again. He reached his hand out, finally, and all of a sudden, pulled me in for a hug. A tight hug. I didn't see that coming. He had already hugged me a bunch of times before. But this was different. I could feel him breathing heavily. He hugged me as if he didn't want to let go, as if he wanted to stay, as if this was all he could do. He was taller than me, but he almost buried his face in my hair.
And I swear, I swear… Right before he let go, I felt a soft kiss on my forehead.
I watched him walk back to the car. After he opened the door, he looked back at me with a longing gaze. He stayed like that for a few more minutes, just staring at me, with a facial expression that I couldn't quite read.
I smiled at him, gave him a nod. He did too. Then he finally got in, and drove to his house.
It was already quarter to 4 in the morning. I got to my room, still overwhelmed by everything that happened.
What a night.