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Alex had slept for the rest of the night not waking till late the next morning when she had expected most of the band to be gone. Her back was stinging again, itching so badly that she had to suppress the urge to scream instead of scratching but though she was still weak she felt stronger than the day before and was actually hungry. However, unlike all the other days she had been conscious, this morning nobody noticed that she was awake to bring her food. The sun from the window behind her was warm on the side of her face letting her know that it was late so she was surprised to see that everyone was still crowded inside. She watched them for a time, seeing Olivia then Rafael speak, though she was too far away to hear what was being said.

Munch seemed to be deep in thought and was nodding along to the bronze skinned man though Elliot didn't look as convinced. Of all of them Elliot and Casey were the ones that Alex was wary of the most. They hadn't trusted her from the start and hadn't really warmed to her when she had been with them in the forest. She wasn't sure, whatever Munch and Olivia said, that the two would ever truly trust her again and didn't at this moment want to cause her harm. She watched as Elliot shook his head and gestured towards Munch, talking mainly to Olivia. She had hoped that his anger might cause him to raise his voice and she would hear what they were talking about but her stomach chose that moment to announce its hunger.

Seven pairs of eyes all turned towards her and she felt her cheeks turn red as they realised she had been trying to eavesdrop. Olivia must have said that their meeting was over because she got to her feet and started walking towards her, making a pit stop half way to collect the bread and cheese that had been left for them the night before.

'Sorry I didn't realise you were awake.' Olivia said with a smile as she sat down on the dais beside her.

'Not for very long.' Alex replied hoping that Olivia would pick up on the implication that she hadn't been watching and trying to listen for long.

'Did you sleep well?' Olivia asked breaking the bread in two and handing it to her.

Alex nodded, 'well enough.' She nibbled at the brown loaf in her hand, tough and dense in her mouth, a far cry from the soft white rolls she was used to at the castle. In truth she hadn't slept well; she hadn't slept well since she had returned to her father. Her dreams more often than not were nightmares and every time they shook her awake it took her a moment to remember that she wasn't back in her rooms, waiting for the men to return.

'Good.' Olivia smiled and took a bite out the hard cheese more out of nerves than actual hunger seeing as she had brought the food just for Alex.

Alex swallowed feeling the dry bread rub at the back of her throat and wished that Olivia had thought to bring some water. She wanted to ask about the meeting they seemed to be having but her nerve failed her at the last moment. They were probably talking about her and she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know what they were saying.

Olivia saw her cough slightly and jumped to her feet, 'sorry, you must be thirsty.' She returned quickly with a flask and helped sit Alex slightly upright bringing the it to her lips. The sweet heavy smell of wine met Alex's nose and she quickly turned her head away breathing heavily. She could remember her head being forced back and the cloying liquid being poured down her throat till her head span and she struggled to breathe against the flow. She remembered it being poured over her head and into her face till the smell clung to her hair making it hang in sticky tendrils down her back. She didn't think she would ever be able to drink red wine again.

'Are you okay?' Olivia asked concerned, seeing Alex move away. The blonde breathed through her mouth for a moment closing her eyes against the onslaught of memories.

She nodded her head yes. 'I would prefer water if you have it though.'

Olivia quickly apologised and soon they were both sitting comfortably, Alex eating and drinking her breakfast. She let the silence hang for a moment as they watched the others. Munch seemed to be explaining another one of his theories to Finn, Amanda and Casey judging from the amount of gesturing he was doing and from the smiles and laughter of the others. Elliot was working out over by the doors and she watched his biceps strain as he completed yet another push up while Rafael sat slightly apart singing quietly to himself. Alex found that the melodic baritone of his voice was mesmerising and the certain notes that would develop an edge made the hairs on the back her neck stand up.

'Have you ever been to the south?' Olivia suddenly asked jolting Alex out of her haze.

'No, I've never been outside of Nottinghamshire.' she responded wondering what had brought on the question.

'Would you ever want to go?' Olivia said her eyes not betraying the answer she wanted.

'Why do you want to know?' Alex answered refusing to be baited, Olivia would just have to say what she meant.

She heard the brunet sigh and twist her mouth slightly as she thought of what to say. 'I ask,' Olivia started, 'because we might have the chance to go there. You and me.'

'I don't understand.' Alex certainly wasn't in the mood, or health, for a holiday.

'We can't stay here.' Olivia explained, 'the others would go back to the forest while the two of us would go and stay on the land of one of Rafael's friends; so you could get better.' Olivia deliberately left out the part of Rafael and Munch still not sure, even after the week's torture, exactly how Alex felt about her father.

'It's all been decided then. I'm to go no matter what.'

'No,' Olivia said exasperatedly, 'that's what we were discussing this morning. Everyone has agreed, though Elliot's not too happy as per usual, but I wanted to ask what you wanted. I won't force you do to anything.'

Alex bit her lip. She knew she didn't have much choice, that she couldn't go back home again and that she wasn't well enough to go off on her own. Olivia was her only chance but she hated the thought of the brunet being stuck wither her; stuck with the broken and stained person she had become.

Olivia saw her hesitation and imagined a completely different cause. 'You must hate me.' she said quietly bowing her head.

'What?' Olivia's statement had thrown Alex for a loop and she didn't know what to make of it.

'Alex can you forgive me?' Olivia asked, looking down into her eyes beseechingly.

'What.' Alex could hear herself becoming repetitive but couldn't help it. She didn't understand what Olivia was talking about.

'I didn't know. I swear…' Olivia looked close to tears now and the two woman had lowered their voices so the others wouldn't overhear.

'Forgive you for what?'

'For thinking the worse. For believing that you could ever betray us.'

This time it was Alex who looked away. Every time she felt as she could move past the incident at the ravine it was thrown back in her face. She could just about accept forgiveness but not them telling her she wasn't as guilty as she was. 'But I did.' she said softly.

'No you didn't!' Olivia responded her voice becoming impassioned even in a whisper, 'you held on for so long and I never…. I never helped you… I didn't…' she was finding it hard to speak through the tears she felt beginning to form. She gritted her teeth, she had promised herself she would do this without crying.

'Liv you did nothing wrong.'

'But…'

No! I won't hear it.' It was Alex now who was getting angry. She wouldn't let the best person she had ever met sit there and ask her for forgiveness, especially for something for which she had no blame. 'I won't hear you hate yourself. You did nothing wrong, you can't do anything wrong.'

Olivia shook her head, she had to destroy this perfect image that Alex was making of her. 'Alex… Alex you can't idolise me. I'm still human. I should have known as soon as I saw you on the waterfall that he'd forced you to be there.'

'How could you have known?'

Liv shrugged her shoulders. 'Because I should have trusted you. Trusted that you would never have sold us out.'

Alex went quiet for a time and lowered her eyes feeling tears pool in them at the memories. 'I didn't want to.' she said quietly.

'I know sweetheart… I know.'

'I…. I just….' She couldn't explain what was going through her head the day she gave in, even exactly why she gave and so stopped trying. She looked back up into Olivia's eyes, as warm as she remembered and full of love, and even though Munch had spoken to her and Olivia had helped her she couldn't help but once again ask, 'you don't hate me?'

'God,' Olivia went to wrap her in her arms but remembered her back and so settled for cupping the side of her face. 'Alex there is nothing to hate you for, you did nothing wrong. You're the one who should hate me.'

'But I don't'

Olivia smiled and finally let her tears fall, 'We're okay then…. Everything is going to be okay.'

Alex wanted to return her smile and almost did but she couldn't never forget what had happened. She shook her head.

'What is it, what's wrong?'

'You know….'

'Know what?' Olivia didn't understand what was standing in their way and wiped off her tears in confusion. If Alex could forgive her then she would spend the rest of her life proving why she was right to do so and the two of them could move towards healing.

Alex looked away and bit her lip. 'You know what he did.' she said in a voice so quiet and choked with tears that Olivia had to lean in to hear it. When she did she felt her heart break.

'It doesn't change anything. It wasn't your fault.'

'I'm broken' Alex sobbed, her own tears falling into Olivia's palm.

'No!' Olivia responded whispering harshly and bringing her face close to Alex's. 'No you're not. Your hurt right now but you're getting better every day.'

'I must have done something. When I was younger maybe…. I just don't understand... why… why he…' Alex was rambling, letting her thoughts, which had been plaguing her waking moments, spill from her mouth.

'Alex look at me. You did nothing to deserve this. Nothing to encourage this. You're still beautiful, still good.'

Alex didn't believe it. No father would do what he had done unless the person deserved it. She had betrayed him, hurt him, she had let someone else touch her when he had explicitly forbidden it. If Olivia wanted to believe that Alex was blameless and clean then let her. Alex knew the truth, knew how guilty and dirty she really was. She turned her head away again trying to control and stop the sobs that were now wracking her body. She was sure the others must have noticed and hated how weak she was constantly appearing in front of them.

'Maybe it would help to talk about it?' Olivia said softly, stroking the back of her head.

Alex shook her head no.

'I know its hard sweetheart but you have to try, it's only going to hurt more if you keep it locked inside.' Olivia was using her gentlest voice but Alex still kept her face turned away.

Olivia didn't say anything else after that, just let Alex slowly regain control of her body. She watched as the blonde wiped her face before rolling back over and staring at the ceiling once again. She wished that Alex would let her help her. That she could believe that somehow she had brought her father's attention on herself… Olivia felt sickened that Alex could even think it. The Sheriff was evil. He had taken a baby away from its mother and kept it locked in a cage for its whole life and the one time it had broken free and started to think for its self he had punished it in the worst way possible. She felt herself tear up again, as she always did when thinking about Alex's life, but this time kept them from falling. It wouldn't help Alex to cry now, to force her to talk about something that she wasn't ready to talk about. She hoped that over time her presence would be enough, that whatever Alex chose to tell her or not tell her, her being there after it all would show the blonde that none of it mattered to her.

They sat in silence again, listening to Rafael sing as the sun slowly lengthened their shadows upon the ground.

'Where in the south would it be?' Alex suddenly asked and Olivia smiled. When it was just the two of them, far away from it all; that was when Alex would really be able to heal.