"Son of a bitch."
The diner was decently quiet. It was only eight in the morning, and the only other occupants were an old couple, and some stressed looking twenty somethings who needed coffee and a strudel to go. The room was warm, thanks to the radiator that was situated right by their booth.
And in Miu Iruma's case, because she had just spilled hot coffee in her lap. Great start to the morning.
Across the table, Tenko winced and handed her several napkins. "Are you okay? Tenko can call for medical attention!"
Miu took the napkins and pressed them into her lap. "Nah. I'll be fine… It'll just look like I shit myself all day."
"Tenko carries spare leggings!" Tenko said, reaching into her bag. "She anticipates accidents like this, and you're not… too much taller than her?"
Miu sighed. "That'd… be nice, actually. Thanks."
She ran her hands through her hair. It was too early in the morning for all of this shit to be happening. Happy Monday!
Tenko waited a moment, then asked, "Why call Tenko out so early? She's usually up, but Iruma-san never is. I doubt it was the goodness of your heart."
Miu snorted. "You got that one right. I need a favour."
"Tenko is not letting herself be experimented on again," Tenko said urgently.
Miu rolled her eyes. "Are you still mad about that? You were only on fire for thirty seconds!"
Tenko replied, "Thirty seconds more than ever expected!"
"Relax. It's not about that," Miu said, leaning on the table. "How the fuck do you ask a girl out?"
Tenko frowned. "Pardon?"
Miu said, "You heard me! C'mon, Chabashitra, aren't you supposed to be some kind of lesbian goddess?!"
Tenko's face flushed, and she laughed weakly. "Tenko… wasn't aware she had this reputation?"
Miu said, "Seriously? You constantly have girls falling head over fucking heels for you, and you have a cool girlfriend! How would you not?"
Tenko brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank… you? But back up a moment! Iruma-san has a crush?"
"Contrary to popular belief, I have feelings besides science!" Miu replied, tearing her fingers through her hair again.
Tenko smiled. "Tenko doesn't think science is a feeling."
Miu huffed. "You're an athlete! What would you know?"
"Do you want Tenko's help or not?" Tenko asked, raising an eyebrow.
Miu flopped back against the booth seat. "Toujou's hot. What the fuck do I do."
"Wow, you don't even have a nickname for her," Tenko giggled. "You're serious!"
Miu grumbled, "Don't make fun of me."
Tenko laughed. "It's cute! When did you realize that you liked her?"
"Is this an interrogation?" Miu said, "I need advice, not twenty questions!"
Tenko sighed. "Okay, okay. Tenko was just trying to get a feel for the situation. Iruma-san… the best thing you can do is be honest with her."
Miu buried her face in her hands. "That's fucking impossible. There's… there's no way I could…"
"You're being honest with Tenko," she says gently, "What's the difference?"
Miu rolled her eyes. "I'm not trying to kiss you."
"Tenko would hope not!"
"Be honest," Miu grumbled to herself as she paced back and forth through her apartment. "What a joke. Toujou wouldn't be looking for… whatever the hell I am."
Kirumi Toujou was a beautiful, intelligent, and refined woman. Miu certainly matched (and probably surpassed) her with sheer intellect, but fell way behind on the other criteria. How could she even begin to compete with the woman with the daintiest laugh in the world?!
It was tragic. Tragic and numbing. Miu curled her fingers into a fist and dug her nails into her palm. How was she supposed to do this?
Taking a deep breath, she turned to face the broom that she had leaned against the wall and hung an apron on. Earlier, the idea of practicing with a prop had seemed like a stroke of genius, but it was currently stressing her out.
"Hey, Toujou," Miu said to the broom, hoping her neighbours couldn't hear her. "Would you wanna- No, no. That's not enough."
She paced a bit more, trying not to look at the broom too much.
"Toujou, you look absolutely- No. No, fuck this," Miu muttered, "She wouldn't appreciate that. I've… I've gotta do something that comes from the heart."
Of course, that only led to a million more thoughts. What would be an appropriate gesture to a girl she'd had feelings for since late summer? Simply explaining her feelings could never go anywhere. How on earth was she supposed to do this?
Girls like Tenko made romance look easy. Miu flopped down on her sofa and tried not to look at the broom leaning on the wall. Impressing Kirumi seemed like an impossibility.
She was allergic to flowers, and Miu could never seem to remember what restaurants she actually liked. The more she thought about it, the more she felt that it would probably be better if she shut the feelings inside herself and never spoke of them.
...But that couldn't work either. Kirumi was the most beautiful person Miu had ever encountered. Surely, if she didn't speak up soon, then Kirumi would be snapped up by some other lovely twenty-something with more talents and charms than Miu ever could have.
The thought made her stomach churn. Could she live like that, watching Kirumi date someone else? Even if that person made her endlessly happy, the very idea was nearly bringing her to tears. Certainly, she would be supportive of her friend, but she could already feel bitterness pooling in her mouth, and for a significant other that did not exist.
"I'm so pathetic," Miu mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "I don't… I don't deserve her."
And wouldn't it be selfish? To stand back and stare at the happy couple with resentment? Love truly exposed how cruel a person could be. Miu closed her eyes as her head pounded.
Confessing could mean ruining their friendship. Staying silent could mean watching Kirumi Toujou be swept up and away forever.
Her chest ached.
Miu stared at the ceiling for a bit more, feeling sorry for herself, before rummaging in her bag for her phone.
As luck would have it, she had missed a text from Kirumi while she was moping uselessly. Miu quickly unlocked her phone to read it.
[ Good afternoon, Iruma-san. Tragically, I have been kept late at work today, and will not be able to have tea with you today. How does tomorrow sound? ]
Miu's stomach clenched. She'd been looking forward to this for two weeks, and now… Well, now she had to postpone her confession. The confession that would definitely absolutely not go wrong in the slightest.
Realizing she hadn't crafted a response, Miu began to type.
[ shit fucking sucks but that's capitalism for ya babe! ]
[ tomorrow sounds great! cant wait to see u ]
Miu threw her phone, wincing slightly as it slapped against her stomach.
How could she do it? She liked Kirumi so much, despite them being complete opposites. She was everything Miu had ever wanted.
Selfish tears welled in her eyes. She wiped them with her sleeve, trying to control her breathing. Yet again, she was making a goddamn idiot out of herself.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
Miu sat up, grabbing her phone before it could slip between the couch cushions, and furrowed her brow in thought.
Then, it hit her like a bolt of lightning.
Kirumi wasn't one to complain, even when her circumstances were extremely unfavourable, but Miu knew how much she hated taking the train home late at night. So, the obvious solution was for Miu to pick her up and shave forty minutes off her commute.
That would impress her, right? Right? Miu scrambled to her feet and ran into the bathroom. Her makeup was smudged and her hair was a mess, but those were easy fixes. Easy!
After about half an hour of fighting with a hairbrush and dusting up her face, Miu felt ready to face the world. She threw on a jacket, snatched her keys, and bolted down to the parking garage.
Miu wished that she had a nicer car to show up in, but Kirumi had said that her beat-up old pickup truck had a rustic kind of charm to it. That had to be a good thing.
She rounded the corner, ready to leap inside, when she realized that her truck was absolutely filthy.
"What the hell?!" she cried, jaw dropping.
Her brain filled in the gap a couple seconds later. Yesterday, she'd taken it out with the intent of driving through the biggest puddles she could find.
Whoops.
Miu took a deep breath, then clambered into the driver's seat. The first step was finding a car wash.
Miu was never really sure why Kirumi had signed on to be the night custodian of their old high school, but it seemed to make her happy.
She hovered around by the back doors, taking periodic glances at the moon. It was a clear night, and it was starting to get cold out. She prayed that Kirumi would arrive soon. Shivering frantically in front of her crush was the last thing she needed.
Thankfully, the doors opened a couple minutes later, and Kirumi stepped out in all her glory. As she finished locking them and turned around, Miu cupped her hands around her mouth.
"Surprise!"
Kirumi jumped. "Iruma-san?! What on earth are you doing here?"
Miu grinned. "I know you don't like travelling alone at night, so I thought I'd come get you. You're welcome."
Kirumi smiled, pressing a gloved hand against her cheek. "Thank you so much. You are the sweetest person I know, truly."
Miu desperately hoped that the darkness would hide the blush that spread across her face. "Eh-heh. C'mon, climb in! I'll get you home no problem!"
Kirumi laughed melodically. "Certainly. I always love to drive with you."
Funny. Miu had never considered herself a good driver. Still, whatever worked, right? Kirumi climbed into the passenger's seat, looking elegant as ever, even in her messy work uniform. Miu had to stop herself from staring and get back in the driver's seat.
"Busy day?" Miu asked as they got onto the road.
Kirumi sighed. "Quite. One of the first years threw up due to the stomach flu. I expect to deal with more cases over the following days."
Miu wrinkled her nose. "Nasty! Sounds like you've got your hands full."
"When do I not?" Kirumi replied, "I do not mind, though. I would rather be occupied than not."
Miu supposed that was reasonable. "I guess. Still don't get why the fuck you work there, though. Did you get over that grudge you had with the headmaster?"
Kirumi said, "That detention soiled my otherwise spotless record. I will never forgive him."
Miu snorted. "Good! I was so pissed he did that to you. But now I really don't know why you wanted to be their custodian so bad."
"It is a long con," Kirumi said, a devilish smile sneaking onto her face. "I slowly move up the ranks throughout the academy, until I take his place."
Miu laughed. "I don't think that's how it fucking works. Don't you have to get a degree or some shit?"
Kirumi said, "I have meticulously plotted out each step of this plan. I would love to explain it, but the short version would take six hours."
"I could listen to you talk forever," Miu responded without thinking.
Kirumi flushed. "How sweet of you…"
They had reached Kirumi's apartment complex. Miu turned off the engine, trying not to soak in the sudden silence between them.
Could she do it? Could she really—
"Iruma-san?" Kirumi asked, interrupting her internal turmoil.
Miu tried not to sweat. "What's up? Need me to walk you back up?"
Kirumi brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I have feelings for you."
Miu's mouth fell open.
"I realize this comes at an inopportune time, but I have been thinking about this for weeks on end," Kirumi continued, her face red. "You are my most cherished friend, and someone I care deeply about. And… I wish for you to know how I feel about."
"Holy shit," Miu whispered.
Kirumi tried to meet her eyes. "Does this… ruin our friendship?"
Miu leaned forwards and softly kissed her on the lips. Kirumi tensed, then responded gracefully.
It was quiet. It was peaceful.
Kirumi pulled away and whispered, "I hope that was not out of pity."
"Pity?!" Miu exclaimed, "Toujou, you are the most beautiful woman on this fucking planet. Literally anyone would be lucky off their rocks to have you!"
Kirumi reached out and grabbed her hand. "I think similarly of you. Nobody could ever compare to you."
It was Miu's turn to feel her face burn. "I… Holy shit. Can… can I kiss you again?"
Kirumi smiled, then completed the distance between them.
They would talk properly tomorrow, over tea. For now, Miu was content with being the luckiest person alive.