Hon-Fu Time! Always chasing crime, basing foes with his nunchaku! Ooo! Careful there, don't hit yourself down low! Keep wagging those brows, crime ain't takin' a holiday, and Hon-Fu's on the case today!
She's got a wink, and a wiggle! And the pirate booty! The treasure chest's all hers! Bonne Jenet! With her gang of ne'er do wells, she's gonna raise seven hells!
Apart, they're trouble. Together... they're double!
TO HON-FU WITH LOVE, BONNE JENET
Part 1: The Chase
Bonne Jenet cursed herself for letting down her guard.
She hadn't -anticipated- someone chasing her, being a goody-goody-two-shoes on the other side of the law.
And certainly -not- dangling on a truck ladder in Hong Kong, trying to hold on in stocking feet, while trying to find an -exit plan- that didn't put her within the reach of some infuriating -supercop-.
In her defense, it -was- her day off. After weeks of being cooped up with testosterone and -men-, as much as she loved them, she needed time to herself to just relax, and stop dealing with the demands of being captain, mastermind, -and- object of fantasies.
And to use facilities -without- needing to let the toilet seat down. Or without stepping into puddles of mis-aimed piss.
To be able to -eat tons of ice cream- without needing to worry about burning it off and looking -good- for the crew.
To sit back and listen to classic music without having to break up fights between her crew whenever they got too rowdy.
And frankly, she -liked- to keep her personal life and business life separate, especially after getting her heart brokened by some lothario who'd joined her gang solely to gain her affections.
At least the crew had made the bastard walk the plank for her sake, but thereafter, she swore, never again.
That didn't mean she couldn't hook up with someone outside of work, though.
So when someone had sat down next to her and asked her name, she'd lowered her eyes, arched an eyebrow, and simply said "Bonne."
"Like, trombone? I used to play one of those." the man had asked.
Dear god, what?
Bonne stared at the man, frowning just enough to let the man realized he'd said something stupid.
"Ah, sorry, I don't get out much... a friend told me to take a break from work. I'm Hon-Fu."
"You don't say," Bonne replied dryly. "Your pickup lines are terrible."
"Well, I wasn't really trying to pick you up," Hon-Fu replied. "I just thought you might be Bonne Jenet."
"Oh?" Now Bonne's curiousity was piqued. "Are you an acquaintance of my parents?"
"Actually, no. I'm a cop. And you're under arrest."
*CLACK*
Fortunately for Bonne, at least, her reflexes were fast, and Hon-Fu's handcuffs managed to lock onto the bar's rail.
With a quick swing of her legs, Bonne leapt off her seat. Taking a moment to kick up the barstool into her hands, she swung it at Hon-Fu. The time he spent trying to catch it and throw it aside left the lady pirate a moment to snatch up her purse and an opening to bolt for the revolving door entrance.
She nearly didn't make it out the entrance, as Hon-Fu managed to arrive just in time to try and trap her inside the central shaft of the revolving door, between glass partitions.
She pushed at a door partition.
Hon pushed at another door partition, trying to keep her trapped.
She pushed again.
Hon pushed.
She pulled.
Hon pushed...
... and stumbled as Bonne ended up trapping him between the inside of the bar entrance and the revolving door partition. Stepping through the opening, Bonne bolted back into the bar area, aiming for a different way out.
"HA!" Hon-Fu shouted after her, as he managed to pull himself back up. "You're not escaping me! Not the long arm of the law!"
Bonne swore, as the man chased after her. Where to... ah!
She wove her way between the line and ducked into the women's bathroom, ignoring the outraged shouts from the other women who'd been waiting.
As the bathroom door swung shut, she saw Hon-Fu come to a stop outside.
Oh good, a gentleman. With a laugh, she smiled, brought her hands up, and with a flirtacious wink, waggled her fingers.
And as the door closed, she shook her head, assessing her options. No exit other than the bathroom entrance she'd come through.
She eyed herself. A thousand dollar dress, high heels... and a lot of other women in the bathroom stalls.
And they had shopping bags.
Hon-Fu was not having a good day.
First he'd been yelled at by his supervisor for ruining his police car.
Ruining the car was -mildly- problematic.
It was driving the car off the top floor of a parking garage into the Hong Kong Bank.
So -what- if he'd captured the criminals?
HE COST THE DEPARTMENT THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
He'd been given time off, and told to -stay away from work-.
The problem was, work was all he really had.
"Want to join us at the bar?" one officer asked.
Normally he'd have said no, but... just this once?
And of -course- he was the first to arrive.
Finding himself with nothing to do, Hon-Fu scrutinized the bar, at least until his eyes fell on a blonde in a little black dress.
That was... wait, it couldn't be, could it?
It was.
And now, 5 minutes later, he'd gotten himself a barstool to the face, ribs slammed between revolving glass door parts, and found himself waving a badge as he sought admittance into the women's bathroom.
"I swear, I -really- am a cop!" Hon-Fu cried, as he pushed the door open, covering his eyes with one hand and trying to peek through.
"Ladies, ladies, please leave, I'm a cop! I swear, I'm not a pervert!" he said, waving a badge. "Please leave, one at a time, I'm trying to catch a criminal!"
A purse slapped him upside the head, and Hon-Fu winced, rubbing his cheek hard as he stole a quick glance. Nope, not that woman, too tall.
Nor that woman, too short.
Nor... the woman in sweats and a baseball hat.
A young girl wearing cats ears and a jacket who glared at him, and kicked him in the shin. "WEIRDO!"
"I'm not a... oh what's the use?" Hon-Fu cried, rubbing his shin and making a most miserable face.
Another woman, and another. Still nope. Where -was- the little black dress?
After a moment, with no further women coming out, Hon-Fu stole a peek into the restroom. Empty. Wait, what?
He frowned, glancing back towards the hallway in confusion, before crouching down, keeping the door propped open to glance about. No feet in there.
What the hell.
Swinging the door open, Hon-Fu started swinging all the toilet stalls open. All gone.
"AWW, SHE ESCAPED...!"
And then Hon-Fu bolted for the door, nearly colliding with the other women who were now trying to flock in to take advantage of the empty bathroom.
Swimming his way through towards the hallway, and into the dining area, Hon-Fu glanced about. Some of the people he'd seen, he'd noticed went back to the bathroom, others were taking their seats, and one woman...
That woman in the baseball hat trying to hide her hair under the jacket, the one carrying the shopping bags... and wearing nothing on her feet.
"HOLD IT!"
Bonne swore. While she -was- able to bribe someone to give up a hat, jeans, and a jacket in exchange for a hundred dollars and the black dress, she -wasn't- able to find someone with a pair of shoes, and it was going to be rough going running the streets.
Pushing her way through the revolving door, Bonne made a right, waving her hands.
As if finding a taxi in Hong Kong at her beck and call was going to be easy. No, she had to try something quicker and more effective.
Dodging a bicycle in the bicycle lane as she ran into the Hong Kong street, Bonne ran for the back of a truck carrying a load of live chicken in the back, and clung to the back door, resting her feet against the back bumper. She was fortunate, the light turned green, and the truck drove on. Keeping herself low to avoid being caught in the rear view mirror, Bonne turned her head to look backwards.
What she saw was a frantically running cop running between the car lane and the bicycle lane, trying to catch up in a hurry.
"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!"
"Are you kidding me?"
No, Hon-Fu never swore, as gentlemanly as he was, since he had to be a -role model- for children everywhere, but he was -sorely- tempted to as he watched Bonne Jenet leap onto the back of a chicken truck.
He wasn't about to let her get away on his watch.
Well, even if he was off-duty.
Breaking into a run, pumping his arms and legs as fast as he could, Hon-Fu was going to rely on sheer determination and guts!
He dashed past a pedestrian about to pull his bicycle out of a bicycle stall, before stopping and dashing back.
"I'm a police officer!" Hon-Fu exclaimed, waving his badge. "I'll return it to you, at the district police station!"
Sheer determination and guts only worked so far, after all.
Bonne's look of shock turned into an amused feline grin as she noticed Hon-Fu switching from running to biking. How -nice-. It was good to be chased for once. Did wonders for a girl's morale. Even if he was after her for her body and not herself.
Ignore that he wanted the body locked up in jail, of course.
Hong Kong traffic being what it was, though, the cop was bound to catch up, which meant she'd have to hitch another ride.
Her eyes darted back and forth. Her years of tennis skills -really- were helpful here, as it'd trained her hand-eye coordination and her leg strength, as well as her stamina.
So when Bonne Jenet leapt from the back of one truck to a faster truck, Hon-Fu might have been been impressed, but hardly surprised.
When she leapt from that truck and onto the road partition, THEN -onto- the ladder of a truck heading the other way, though...
"GOSH DARN IT!"
Oops. Was that a swear? No, it wasn't.
Bonne laughed merrily as she watched Hon-Fu process her road crossing.
The laughter faded when Hon-Fu flipped over the front of the bicycle, and onto his feet. Carrying the bicycle on his back, Hon-Fu ran between cars, waving one hand frantically as the oncoming vehicles managed to pull to a stop. Watching him jump the partition and in mid-air climb aboard the bicycle and pedalling back towards her, Bonne pursued her lips.
Well, damn it. No help for it. She reached into the shopping bag.
And as soon as Hon-Fu came closer...
She threw a high heel at him.
Watching him swerve and crash against the road partition, Bonne winced. She hadn't quite intended to crash him, just drive him off her tail, but apparently the supercop was also -somewhat- of a klutz.
Ah well. At least his bike was wrecked.
As she watched him pick up the high heel that had distracted him, Bonne Jenet couldn't help it.
She put a free hand to her lips, and blew him a kiss. With a wink, she called out, "Keep it, darling! Maybe you can return it to me later!"
She would regret those words later.
END Part 1