TO HON-FU WITH LOVE, BONNE JENET

Part 3: Wait, wait, wait! Do I look like a waiter to you?

"Really? Really, Hon-Fu?"

Hon-Fu winced at these not-very-pleased words coming from his on-off girfriend, Brenda.

He'd thought it was a charming idea. To call her so that they could meet at the airport exit, with a bouquet of flowers and reservations at the Jumbo Floating Restaurant.

Unfortunately, for him...

"I've had a-long- flight, Hon-Fu. Couldn't we just do this tomorrow?" Brenda sighed, brushing wisps of stray, frazzled hair out of her eyes.

"But... I got reservations for tonight at the Jumbo Floating Restaurant."

"I know," Brenda offered a wan smile. "And that's sweet, but... I wish you'd talked to me first."

"But it was the best time..."

"For you, not for me." Offering a wan smile, Brenda patted Hon-Fu's cheek. "I know you care and your schedule is hard, but we can't keep doing this dancing around with a relationship, not if we're not talking to each other about -what- we're doing..."

"But... I promise this time, work's not going to interfere."

"But work calls you all the time anyway."

"No it won't... look, I'll give you my phone, and we can just have a quiet evening. Just you, me..."

"... and a thousand people for Cheng Sinzan's tournament tonight."

"Uh... how did you figure that out?" Hon-Fu's eyes widened, as he looked quickly at his passenger.

"I know how much you make on a Hong Kong cop's salary, and you can't afford to take me to Jumbo's unless you had a friend in high places. And tonight's his mahjong finals."

"Well, yes..."

"So, not tonight. I'll take a raincheck." Brenda smiled. "But I appreciate the ride home," she added, as they pulled up to her apartment building.

Getting out of the car, Hon-Fu pulled her bags out.

"Thank you, Hon," Brenda said, as she took her bags. "I'll call you later."

Nodding and trying to not look forlorn, Hon-Fu slipped back in the car, and got back on the road.

Navigating Hong Kong traffic, Hon-Fu pulled out his phone and rang up Cheng Sinzan.

"Hey, Cheng," Hon-Fu greeted. "Listen, can I postpone that reservation tonight? Brenda's too tired to go."

"That's a shame. Well, not a problem, I can get you on board another time."

"Thanks."

"But I do want you to stop by tonight. You can be my guest for tonight."

Hon-Fu blinked. "What? Why?"

"Something in my gut tells me something's happening tonight, and I'd appreciate having a wild card up my sleeve just in case."

"... something big, eh?" Hon-Fu responded, a smirk crossing his face.

Cheng let a belly laugh escape, and Hon-Fu could practically hear him pat his belly. "Yes, yes, well, it hasn't failed me yet. So come on down. I'll even hook you up with one of my lady friends for the night!"

"No thank-"

"Hey, you don't have to date her! Just socialize, have a good time, and go home by yourself. Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"I think it'd be safer if we just played mahjong."

"Suit yourself, I'll enjoy taking your money."

"Fine, see you then!"

And Cheng Sinzan hung up.

Hon-Fu put his phone down, and regarded himself. Ah well, he was all dressed up in a dinner jacket and had his bow tie ready to go.

"Let's do this!"

Adjusting his bow tie, Hon-Fu marched into the very festival hall. It didn't take him long to find Cheng Sinzan, waving vigorously at him.

"Good evening," Hon-Fu greeted.

Cheng waved a hand. "My friend! Come, come, sit down." He motioned over to a waiter. "A glass of Changyu for my friend here!"

Taking a seat, Hon-Fu smiled uncomfortably, nodding at the waiter as the wine glass was placed before him. "Ah, thank you. I shouldn't drink if I'm supposed to be on duty, though."

"Oh, a little bit won't hurt you too badly, my friend. Get some of your drunken kung-fu mojo working, eh?" Cheng laughed, slapping Hon-Fu on the back.

Hon-Fu made a sour face, before reaching for the glass to take a sip. "So, you were expecting trouble?"

"My friend, I'm always expecting trouble! It's the finals, there's a lot of money here, and I fully expect people to be trying to get at the prizes!"

"Shouldn't you be paying for good cybersecurity?"

"Well, yes, but it's a good show to have the winner posing with the trophy full of gold!" Cheng exclaimed, laughing.

Hon-Fu rolled his eyes. "I really don't get why you need to flaunt your wealth like that."

Cheng smirked. "Sometimes it's good to remind people all about how you can go from nothing to the top. Come, have some food!"

"Showoff. I'm not really hungry," Hon-Fu grumbled, though not without a fond grin back. Glancing around, Hon-Fu studied the mahjong tables. All well and good. Taking a sip, Hon-Fu nearly choked as he spied a flash of blonde hair.

Was that...

The waiter tucked the lock of blond hair back underneath her... mass of black hair?

Good god, while Bonne Jenet was clad in a waiter's outfit, had her hair pinned up and tucked under a black wig, and was wearing glasses, he would recognize those shapely hi- no, his gaze needed go higher... even higher... there, elfin face.

Hnnngh. And she was serving some sort of appetizer...

"Actually, Cheng? I could use one of those appetizers..." Hon-Fu commented.

Bonne Jenet's bluetooth headset was functioning just fine, as she wandered in and out of the kitchen taking and serving appetizers. She was able to keep tabs on the fellow waiters... who were infiltrated into the serving crews. She smiled in anticipation. If Cheng Sinzan was putting on a show for his Hong Kong friends, then the Lillien Knights would be only too happy to take advantage of it!

Her predatory smile quickly faded as Cheng Sinzan waved at her. Right, this was the role she needed to play tonight, to get her hands on the prize.

Approaching the table, she smiled. "Yes? May I serve you...?" she asked, holding out the tray of appetizers.

*CLACK*

She blinked. A handcuff. On her delicate wrist.

Looking up, she stared into Hon-Fu's face. His eyebrows were raised, his lips set in a smug smile, and he tilted his head at her. "Hello, Bonne Jenet."

"YOU!"

Cheng tilted his head. "What are you doing?"

"Taking care of your trouble."

"That... that wasn't the trouble I anticipated."

"... you weren't expecting Bonne Jenet?"

"No. If I were, I wouldn't have asked for you."

Hon-Fu stared. Bonne Jenet stared.

Hon-Fu sighed. "Then who were you expecting?"

Bonne frowned. "Can you please release me? I haven't done anything."

Hon-Fu frowned. He pointed at his face. "Do you take me for some kind of sucker? You're here to steal the gold!"

Bonne sniffed. "I'm here as your waiter, Mister Cop. You can't arrest me for something I haven't done! And yes, I do take you for a pinheaded buffoon!"

"I can still arrest you for the -other crimes!"

"I'd like to see you try!" she screamed, as her leg jerked upwards in a swift kick.

Hon-Fu barely managed to dodge that, pulling Bonne Jenet off-balance with him.

She moved with the flow, flipping over and trying to land an heel onto Hon-Fu's head, but he managed to push forward, leaving one of Bonne's legs dangling over Hon-Fu's shoulder as he pushed her down against the table.

"Stay put."

"Muscled buffoon!"

A cough. "Ahem," Cheng Sinzan commented. "Do you need a private room?"

"NO!" both of them exclaimed.

"I meant, to lock her up in. But if you want to continue to make a public spectacle of yourselves..."

People were watching and whispering, and Bonne and Hon-Fu grew conscious of this.

"Let go... no, you let go!" both of them chorused.

A voice crackled on Bonne's earpiece. "Boss, you okay? Need help?"

"No! Stay where you are!" Hon-Fu froze.

"Not you," Bonne growled. "You, remove your hand from my person at once."

"Let go of me, and I'll..."

"AT ONCE, I SAID."

"Friends," Cheng interjected. "BOTH of you let go on the count of three. One... two... three."

Hon-Fu pulled himself back off the table, and Bonne smoothed out her waiter outfit as she got back on her feet and glared.

Cheng waved a hand at the audience. "No worries, no worries, just a little argument, it's been taken care of."

As the audience dissipated, Hon sighed. "As I was saying, I was about to-"

"You can't arrest me," Bonne interrupted angrily, wagging a finger right up near Hon-Fu's nose. "I haven't done anything!"

"Not here," Hon-Fu said. "But for acts of piracy..."

"I'm a -waiter- here!" She ripped the wig off her head, and shoved it into Hon-Fu's face. "Though I QUIT!"

"I'll have to have a talk with my staff about their hiring process," Cheng muttered. "But regardless..."

"Just uncuff me at once!" Bonne growled, folding her arms underneath her breasts. Unfortunately, being handcuffed to each other meant Hon-Fu's handcuffed wrist placed his hand into...

"HEY!" Bonne slapped Hon-Fu, her handcuffed wrist dragging his hand with him, effectively resulting in a double-slap.

Using the same hand to hold his cheek, Hon-Fu barked back. "I didn't -feel- anything!"

"LIAR!"

Cheng coughed. "Actually, Hon, it's not possible for you to..."

"SHUT UP!" Hon-Fu and Bonne chorused.

Cheng rubbed his face, resisting the urge to face-palm.

"Boss, I think you've got to..." Another Lillien Knight's voice crackled on Bonne's earpiece.

"Not NOW!"

"Are you talking to someone?" Hon-Fu frowned, glancing closer at Bonne's ear.

He got the back of Bonne's hand for that. "None of your business!"

"Give it here!"

"Make me!"

"Friends, I really think we should adjourn to that private room..."

"Forget the room! Just get me a boat before her men comes for us."

"Forget -the boat, I could order my men to beat the crap out of you -and- still take the gold! Now give me the key...!"

"Nope!" Hon-Fu held up the handcuff key with his free hand, then shoved it down the front of his pants.

Bonne recoiled.

Hon-Fu grinned.

So did Cheng.

At least until Bonne waved a hand at Cheng. "You, go get it."

"... What?" Hon-Fu said.

"Ah, miss, he's my friend, but we're not on -that- level of friendship," Cheng said. "One does not simply put a hand down a friend's pants and fish around for a key..."

"Ok, that does it, I'm ordering my men to go get the key from whatever's left of your nether regions after I'm done with you...!" Bonne growled, as she tapped her earpiece. "Execute the plan, now!"

There was silence.

Bonne looked frustrated. "Hey! Where are you?!"

Silence met her ear, and Bonne frowned.

"What the hell...?" she said, looking back at Hon-Fu. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Hon-Fu responded.

"That, perhaps, might be my security," Cheng interjected. "Though I had not been expecting a pretty young lass to be in charge."

"You knew?!" Hon-Fu exploded.

"I -had- been anticipating trouble, and thought you might enjoy having the credit of the bust. Though, to be honest, I had been anticipating that man you'd been chasing..."

Bonne raised an eyebrow. "A man?" she said, tapping her foot and raising a finger at herself.

Hon-Fu ignored her. "Wait, you're talking about Yamazaki? You expected an attack from Yamazaki?"

Cheng threw his arms open. "My friend, I only wanted to help you! He couldn't possibly ignore such a chance, now, could he?"

Hon-Fu scowled. "I don't -really- need your help."

Cheng grinned. "At least you have someone else to bring to your superintendent. And perhaps, remind them of all the good things you do while they're looking at the bills you create. A secondary prize."

"I am -nobody-'s secondary prize!" Bonne responded, using the handcuffed pair of hands to slap Hon-Fu.

"Hey, he said it, not me!" Hon-Fu whined.

"Anyway, we can gather up miss..." Cheng arched an eyebrow at Bonne.

"Bonne Jenet," Hon-Fu supplied.

"Oh, no, if you think I'm staying here..." Bonne exploded, as she spun around and kneed Hon-Fu in a place where his future descendents cried out in a million voiceless screams, and then fell incapacitated.

Bonne yanked her handcuffed wrist backwards, and managed to prop up a blissfully out of it Hon-Fu onto her shoulders.

"You're not getting off this ship easily, you realize, Miss Jenet?" Cheng remarked quietly.

"Yeah well, sitting around looking pretty was never my thing," Bonne retorted, as she headed for the exit.

Cheng looked around, and shrugged. "My friend's mistress expressed her displeasure. Don't worry too much about it! Drink, drink!"

The jaded Hong Kong crowd went about their business, then.

"Come on, come on..." Bonne muttered to herself. "Where's the best way..."

"What have we got here?" a voice boomed.

"Leave me alone, I've had a really bad..." Bonne's voice trailed off as she turned around.

She tilted her head upwards into a widely grinning male face.

"I see you have an old friend of mine," the man cackled.

Bonne gulped.

"Yamazaki."