Author's note:
Set during GA-S4-E13 "Piece Of My Heart".
bobbiejelly
Infinity On High
"It's just the tumor talking, just the tumor talking…" Meredith Grey repeats to her patient's wife over and over until she nods and walks away from her.
Meredith sighs; gosh, as if this day weren't hard enough without it being the start of the clinical trial while her and McDreamy are now on the fritz.
And to add to all of that, Derek Shepherd's ex-wife is in town, and she's still all hot and leggy and fabulous, and now her hair is a shade darker, and a tad longer, and all in those cool waves that must match the ones washing over the Los Angeles ocean.
So yeah, it's a little ridiculous that all of this is happening at once, and Cristina is fighting with Hahn, and George is fighting with Izzie, and Alex has this weird thing going on with his former patient.
So of course now, Meredith Grey is wandering around aimlessly all alone at Seattle Grace Hospital, and she's preparing for her surgery, and she's just wishing she had somebody suitable to talk to these days.
And just as she's turning a corner she runs headfirst into the weirdest person to collide with at this point in time.
"Dr. Montgomery…" Meredith jumps back as she feels a crunching beneath her, and she realizes that she's crushed a bunch of potato chips from an insanely large family bag that Addison must have been eating before she'd arrived here.
"Dr. Grey," Addison mimics Meredith's formality, and Meredith frowns a little at it.
"Hey, hey?" Addison asks her ambiguously.
"Hey…" Meredith says awkwardly.
"Why the put-out expression?" Addison questions.
"Well, you just called me Dr. Grey. Just like Derek does. Now," Meredith groans out.
"And you don't like that?" Asks Addison.
"Well, no. Not compared to being called 'Meredith,' like my actual first name," says Meredith frustratedly.
"Alright, Meredith. So how are you really doing?" Addison asks tenderly, and Meredith's eyes fly wide open at Addison's care here.
"Can I have some of those potato chips?" Meredith asks her, deflecting.
"Sure," Addison offers, leading them over to somewhere quieter.
"Mm, these are good," Meredith offers.
"I stole them from Stevens," Addison giggles.
"You go around stealing people's potato chips!?" Meredith teases.
"Hey, well you go around stealing people's husbands, but hey, I don't judge," Addison teases back, and Meredith's face falls until she sees that Addison is still grinning, and she bursts out laughing around with her.
"Well, I don't know how much husband-stealing I've been doing lately. In fact, maybe that's even worse because we're broken up now. Because he wants to have a house with me, and he complains that I'm not committed when he didn't tell me when he was kissing on a peppy little scrub nurse who did computer science at some party school," Meredith grumbles.
"Oh, God, well. I'm sorry Meredith. You know, for what it's worth, I really was rooting for you," Addison offers, while gesturing to offer for Meredith to lean on her shoulder if she wanted to.
Meredith does, as she takes another handful of Addison/Izzie's potato chips out of the bag and crunches them loudly, before saying determinedly "so wait, you were rooting for me and McDreamy? Is that why you moved away to LA? Because now I'm not following."
"Well, those things weren't necessarily directly connected. I went to LA for a fresh start, career-wise, personal-wise. And after I had gotten to know you, Meredith, of course, I was rooting for you," Addison offers.
"Even with your ex-husband?" Meredith quirks at her.
"Yes, even with Derek," Addison smiles. "Look, we never worked out, and I was a big part of that, but he's Derek, and he' was my best friend, and I just want him to be happy, and for you to be happy, and you make each other happy, then I'm all for that," says Addison easily.
"And what if he doesn't make me happy anymore?" Meredith asks quietly.
"He doesn't?" Asks Addison.
"Not like he used to," says Meredith. "But that's been going on for a long time," Meredith says after.
"Since I showed up the first time?" Addison guesses.
"Well…" Meredith says nothing more.
"It's okay, you can say it. I know I crashed your McParty," Addison offers.
"He crashed his own McParty," Meredith grumbles. "If he'd just broken up with you before moving, or told me upfront he wasn't divorced yet, then none of all of this would ever have happened," Meredith says as she reaches for even more potato chips.
"Yes," says Addison.
"Huh?" says Meredith.
"Yes to all of the above," offers Addison.
"Sooooooooooooooooo have you met the McRose that Derek's been flirting with all over the hospital?" Meredith says in a gossipy voice.
"Not yet," says Addison.
"She eats candy. All day. All of the time. And she still has perfect teeth and I have no idea how," says Meredith.
"Sweet tooth?" Addison asks her.
"I guess so. Actually, come to think of it, y'know, I think I'm the odd one out here. He looks sorta like you. She's tall, she has reddish brown hair, and she's sweet and caring. Just like you are," Meredith offers.
"Umm-" Addison says a bit uncomfortably.
"Well, it's true. Derek sure knows how to pick 'em," Meredith giggles.
"Well, at least this time he's not still married, right?" Says Addison, wincing a little at even having said that.
"Right…" Meredith offers.
"Though, I suppose, it's almost just as bad or worse for her, because she might not know what she's getting herself into," says Addison tiredly.
"Into?" Asks Meredith.
"Did you not hear my whole outburst a year ago in front of the whole hospital, Meredith," asks Addison. "He's in love with you, he was in love with you, and he still is, so any woman he tries to date in your place he's just going to feel like he's cheating on you with," says Addison, sighing.
"He might be in love with me, and he might want me to commit to him, but he's sure as hell not ready to commit to me," offers Meredith quietly.
"Really?" Addison asks her softly.
"Really," says Meredith. "He wanted me when he was with you. But then when he left you he was indifferent to me. He wants me now that he's with Rose, but I know the minute he breaks it off with her he's just going to go back to being cold again, and I'm already freezing," Meredith rambles.
"I'm sorry," says Addison.
"That's supposed to be my line," says Meredith, putting the potato chips down and leaning down onto Addison's shoulder.
Addison leans into the Grey woman and wraps her arms around her shoulders, and Meredith just stays there quietly for a moment.
"So tell me about LA?" Meredith asks her eventually, and Addison can tell that Meredith just needs a break from the serious for a little while. So she tells her about the zen, and then watching people go surfing, and the collaborative medicine, and all that.
"So have you met someone?" Meredith asks Addison thoughtfully, realizing that she'd been taking up all of the free emotional real-estate so far, and that she'd rather this be a little more balanced.
"Someone as in?" Addison chews her lip for a second.
"As in, someone to loooooooooove you," Meredith teases, and Addison rolls her eyes before answering, thinking it's only fair since Meredith had just opened up about her own life.
"Well, no. I mean yes, but no one that's stuck," Addison laughs.
"But I bet all of them want you though," Meredith says then, barely above a whisper.
"And that's you telling me that," Addison laughs even louder.
"What is that supposed to mean!?" Meredith asks Addison.
"Well, what did you mean!?" Addison asks Meredith.
They're at a standstill, and Meredith fidgets awkwardly, and Addison fumbles her hands nervously, and both of them take a while to summon the courage to answer each other's question.
"Look, you're… You're Addison. You're an enigma. You save babies all day, and you wear six-inch heels, and you don't quit teaching even though most of us suck sometimes," Meredith offers.
"You're Meredith. You survived holding a bomb in your hand. You survived a near-drowning in Elliot Bay. You survived your mom dying practically at the same time as your dad was moving onto your stepmother who also ended up dying," Addison offers.
"You noticed all that?" Asks Meredith, flattered.
"You noticed all that?" Asks Addison, also flattered.
"Of course I noticed," offers Meredith.
"Of course I noticed," offers Addison.
And this is the moment, this new moment when the air is somehow changing, and the vibe is somehow evolving, and both of these women feel even more special and worthy than ever before.
"You know, this is good. This is some good juju here. You're good juju, Addison," Meredith smiles.
It's the highest form of compliment that Addison Montgomery could probably ever receive.
"You're something special to come back to Seattle for," Meredith offers.
And Meredith is so touched by Addison's eloquence.
Sitting in the middle of the hallway at Seattle Grace, only a mere ten feet from where they'd first met on that fateful night, Meredith leans her head up, and Addison tilts her chin down.
"Meredith… Are you sure this is what you want?" Addison says, caressing Meredith's cheek with her palm.
"Yes," says Meredith, confidently.
"Meredith, I live in LA, and you live in Seattle," Addison offers.
"Yes," Meredith says again, agreeing.
"Meredith… I can't. I'm sorry, but… I can't do this with you," Addison leans away, and tucks Meredith's hair back, and tucks her head into the crook of her neck.
"Why?" Meredith says in a pained voice.
"Meredith…" Addison sighs heavily.
"Is it… Is it because I'm just not good enough for you?" Meredith asks her.
"No, of course not, Meredith," Addison says. "It's because you are, Grey, and you're with more than this. You're worth more than just some random makeout in a hallway on my work trip. You're worth it, Meredith. And I'm not going to start something with you that I can't finish," Addison says as she soothes over Meredith's hair longingly.
"See, this is why you are the most infuriating," says Meredith. "You were around when my dog was dying. You were around when my appendix was dying. You were around when I was dying, and now I'm not dying, and you're here even though you don't live here, and you won't even kiss me even though you want to, and I want to," Meredith whines just a little bit.
"What can I say, Grey, you make life more interesting," Addison teases.
"Hey, you're the one who helped a woman have another five babies," Meredith teases her right back.
"So, is this it, then? You're not going to kiss me, so we're just going to sit here and make small talk until I go into surgery?" Meredith asks her.
"Pretty much, unless you can think of a better idea?" Asks Addison.
"Nope. I'm all out of ideas. Do you want any more of these potato chips?" Meredith asks her.
"Sure," says Addison.
"Alrighty then," says Meredith.
And Meredith lays her head back down onto Addison's shoulder, and Addison wraps her arms back around her again. And they stay like that for just a little while longer.
***** FIN
Author's Note:
Thanks for reading, folks!
bobbiejelly