America sighed, shifting in the hospital bed to get comfortable. He knew they were "helping him", he knew what he had been doing wasn't "healthy", he knew he could die, but he didn't care. Maybe he used to care, but that was a long time ago; It used to be about loosing weight, and becoming better for the sake of everyone, but America knew he had long since passed the point of being "acceptable". Now it was just about staying in control, and America knew he was loosing his iron grip on his weight steadily. Gaining weight would mean a lack of discipline, a lack of discipline means you're short of control, and being short of control means you have no control over your life. America couldn't stand having no control over his life, that's the whole reason he did anything, it was for control. The expectations from Britain, the foreign countries colonizing his land, all the wars he fought in and/or started, he had tried to abandon those a long time ago, but Britain was still holding demands over his head, Spain and France had left permanent imprints on his culture forever, and war after war piled on top of him, stretching him thin and running him bankrupt. If he couldn't keep a steady weight range, then he really had no hope for the future, did he?
America rubbed his eyes with bony hands, before yawning. His muscles and skin felt strained, despite his lack of movement, and he had the urge to get up and run, jump, lift, do anything but sit there and let himself get fat. "They'll have to let you out soon Al, you'll be fine" He muttered, reaching for the newest book Louisiana Territory had brought him. The Last Kingdom by Bernard Cornwell, it really was captivating. Britain had an interesting history, maybe he'd look further into it when he got internet access. "It sucks that this kid has more control over his life than I do, and he's living in 9th century England" America snorted, flipping the pages to where he left off.
"A meeting in Britain? That's new" America joked, getting a small smile from Canada. "Shut it you twat, it's just a meeting between family... and France" Britain scoffed, leading the North American duo to his car," You gonna let French Fry walk?" "Even worse-" Britain smirked," I'm making him hail a cab" "Oh the pain!" America laughed, sitting down beside Canada. "Anyways, I've got a meeting with Parliament tonight, so you two just get settled in, you can order delivery or something, and don't. Break. Anything" "Got it, captain" America said, saluting jokingly. Britain rolled his eyes, but smiled as Canada snickered. "Maybe we can catch up on Thirteen Reasons Why, eh?" Canada suggested, and America shrugged," Yeah, I've been meaning to watch that. But y'know, work and shit came up" The countries in the car all nodded in understanding, and Britain tried to crack a joke," Has work gotten in the way of eating too? You look incredibly skinny now, Alfred" "Who knows-" America shrugged," Maybe it has" "Well work isn't until tomorrow now, so we can binge on pizza and soda if you want" Canada offered, and America saw no reason to say no. He supposed it was okay for one day of fatty foods since his diet had been working so well. "Leave some for me, I'll be hungry when I get home, if Scotland keeps me until midnight again" "Yeah yeah, maybe we'll start the series over so we can recap on everything" "Sounds good. I'll get Ireland on Video Chat so he can watch with us, eh?"
"I can't believe Angleterre! Making me 'ail a cab in London!" France cried dramatically, getting shushed by three countries who were engrossed with their TV show. "Bonjour to you too" France scoffed, and Canada waved to him slightly. "It's France innit?" Came a heavily accented voice, and France sighed," 'Ello, Ireland" "Shush, it's gettin' tae a good part!" Ireland whined, trying to get a better view from his laptop. There was a ring at the door, and America stood up," That must be the pizzas. Don't worry, we ordered cheese for you, for your weird Catholic Friday-thingy" France rolled his eyes, sitting down next to Canada as America grabbed a few pounds from his wallet. He payed for the pizza, took the boxes inside, and helped himself to two slices of pepperoni. "Thanks for getting us plates" Canada said sarcastically, before standing to get himself some food. "Get big brozer some cheese pizza, s'il vous plait!" France called, and Canada grunted in acknowledgement. America's common sense was going off the charts, screaming things like don't eat that! You'll get fatter you greasy pig! Are you seriously cheating now, after all the progress we've made!? Such a disappointment! but America ignored it, taking a bite from the slice of pizza to sooth his aching stomach.
There was a knock on the door as America began contemplating tearing from his heart rate monitor, I.V. cord, and liquid food, and the American called to let the person in the room. He was a bit surprised to see the visitor, since they had only visited once, but he smiled nonetheless. "Korea, dude! What's up?" Korea sighed through his nose, but forced a smile as he pulled America's phone out of his pocket," I figured you would want this, so you could talk to someone. It was the least I could do for you, jjingjjing-i" "Thanks dude! I've been so bored since I finished reading the fucking Deathly Hallows for the third time this year. I was about ready to make a run for it" Korea sat in a chair," Don't do that, you still need to get some meat on those bones of yours" America winced, but nodded anyways. Korea thought for a moment, before taking America's hand gently," There is a Korean saying I want to tell you-" He smiled," 당신은 가족을 선택하지 않는다. 당신이 가족에게 그런 것 처럼 가족은 당신에게 하느님이 주신 선물이다. It means "You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." Which means you're stuck with me, Britain, France, Canada, and whoever you're hiding in your home. We want to help you through this, and you don't really have a choice" America sighed, leaning into his pillow. Korea figured that probably wasn't the best thing to say, but what could he do? He couldn't take his words back now, and he didn't exactly regret it immediately- shit was America about to cry!?
"A-Alfred, look I didn't mean it in a bad way, I just-" America pulled Korea into the bed with what was remaining of his strength, burying his head into the older's shoulder. "I'm sorry" America whimpered, clutching the fabric of Korea's jacket tightly. "I- what are you apologizing for?" Korea asked, moving so he wasn't right on top of America. "Y-you all were pro- were probably really worried and I- I didn't listen to you or-or take your advice and now you all have to stay because I can't take care of myself" "Oh America, this wasn't your fault, not at all" Korea soothed, pulling the American closer," This was in no way your fault. Once you're at a healthy weight, we can help you get better" "It's never low enough" America mumbled, getting comfortable against Korea's warm body," The number's never low enough. I'll never be enough. What's it like to be enough?" Korea sighed through his nose, running his fingers through America's thin hair," I don't know, Al. I don't know"
America stifled a quiet cry, staring at the scale in dismay. Those little slices of pizza had made him game two whole pounds. In reality, the weight gain was normal, because the body was reacting to the loss of food and slowing the metabolism, but all America could think was failure failure failure you got fatter failure failure failure and he pushed the bathroom scale back under Britain's sink. "Breakfast is ready!" Came a loud French-accented voice, and America forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat and splashed his face with water before walking downstairs. "Ah, Amerique, you 'ave come to join us!" France remarked jokingly, setting a plate of eggs and biscuits down on the table. "So much! Are you fattening me up for a witch?" America laughed, and France scoffed," There is 'ardly anyzhing on your plate, but who knows, maybe I am" America rolled his eyes and sat down at the table, facing Canada while waiting for the final member of the family. Britain yawned and stretched his arms over his head, and France smirked," 'ere comes ze witch now" Britain glared at him, but sat down on the end of the table where a plate was piled with eggs and two biscuits (A few beans on the side as well, because Britain loved his beans). France sat down at the table, muttered a quick prayer, and everyone began to eat (America pushed his food around with his fork, not that anyone noticed).
"Bloody hell America, are those your arms or are those twigs?" Britain remarked, observing America's rather thin and frail body from what he could see with the younger wearing a tank-top. "I haven't been working on my arms very much, nothing to worry about" America explained, smiling. "Yes, well we need to get some fat on those bones, or you'll show up at the next meeting as a skeleton, won't you?" Britain joked, a concerned glint in his eyes. "Yeah yeah, stop worrying old man" "I am not old, you bloody brat! I'll have you know I am the former British Empire I raised you since you were just a little colony you better show some respect or I'll have you keelhauled out the window for everyone to see!" Britain cried, causing the family to erupt into a fit of laughter. America winced at the strain on his lungs, but didn't voice his discomfort. Britain was a lot skinnier than him, surely America could handle a bit of pain to get a kickass body like that; Canada wasn't looking so appealing anymore.
"Yo, do you know when I can get out of here?" America asked Korea after thirty minutes, and Korea shook his head no. "I'd estimate about a month, but we can always ask the nurse ourselves" Korea replied, and America nodded. "A lot of people miss you, jjingjjing-i" Korea murmured after a couple minutes of silence, and America smirked. "Really now? Like who?" "Well, me and Britain, Canada, and France for a few examples, but those aren't very good examples... Denmark really misses you, he doesn't have anyone to baby now" Korea noted, and America snorted. "Prussia misses you, he wants to go out an wreak havoc with you. Japan hasn't played his games nearly as often as he used to, and Germany misses the play-dates you let Apollo and his dogs have" Korea finished, and America sighed," Is that it?" "No, there's more, but that's all I could think of at the moment" Korea smiled, and America looked away. "I'm getting fatter" He whispered, and Korea deflated slightly. "That isn't true! I can still count your ribs, and you're wearing a hospital gown!" The elder exclaimed, and America started to shake slightly.
"I know" He whimpered, and Korea opened his mouth to speak, before being cut off," I know that I'm not healthy, that I'm not okay, but I can't stop... stop seeing what I see, it's too hard. But-" America began to sniffle," But I don't want to be like this anymore" He turned to face the Korean, eyes red and shining with unshed tears," What if I die? I don't want to die like this, Yong Soo" America's voice broke halfway through his sentence, and Korea leaned forward to envelope his best friend in a hug," Shhh, it's okay, Alfred" He murmured, rubbing his back gently," As long as I live, I promise I won't let you die" America buried his head into Korea's shoulder, body shaking with sobs. "I don't want to be like this" America repeated, and Korea said nothing as the young nation repeated the phrase continuously.
"Hey guys! What do you think, I found it on sale for 25% off!" America exclaimed, holding up an old shirt that said "Party like it's 1776". France and England were caught up in a fierce game of Scrabble, with Canada reading a book quietly on the couch. "Guys? Guys, c'mon, I was out for two hours looking for new clothes!" America whined, and yet again no one responded. He frowned, but walked to the bathroom; He may as well try the shirt on. He forced his head and arms through their respective holes, and turned to see all angles in the mirror. He had gotten the shirt in the biggest size they had available (A Youth Large) and found that it still hugged his body, showing off his "love-handles" and flabby waist. America bit his lip, wondering if he could return it to the store. Wait, keep it. Use it for your goal. Once you fit the shirt, you can stop loosing weight America thought, before smiling. He strolled out of the bathroom, before stopping in the front room where Britain was fuming because France had spelled out some absurd word in the French language. "Hey dudes, how long do you think it would take for me to loose enough weight to fit this?" America asked, and Britain whirled around, irritated," I don't know! Probably another century with that fat arse of yours!" He snapped, and America flinched at the harsh tone.
Canada looked up from his book, and France stood to calm the Briton down. Britain glared at America, before relaxing, and taking in the way the shirt hugged his ribs and hip-bone perfectly. "Oh god... America, I didn't mean-" "It's fine dude, it was a joke! Ah, I should probably take this off, it smells, like, hella weird" America laughed, waving a hand at Britain's apologetic tone. He walked calmly to the bathroom, pulling off the shirt and grabbing his baggy flannel, staring at himself in the mirror. Dude, you need to loose weight, like, now America told himself, and he bit the inside of his cheek. Buttoning the flannel shirt, America ran down the hall and jumped onto Canada, who had sat up to talk quietly with France and Britain. "So dudes! Who's up for a round of Mario Kart!?" America shouted, grinning brightly. Everyone hesitated, before Canada held up a controller, smirking. "Bring it on, Al"
It's about time I published another chapter, right? I actually feel a bit proud of myself