DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Dick Wolf!
I completely forgot to mention that there is eventual EO in this story!
Chapter 2:
He slowly made his way over to the sofa and took a seat making sure to keep the distance between them. He looked up and turned to face her. She's just as beautiful as he remembered. He couldn't believe that he was actually sat a few feet away from her. Being without Olivia killed him. He went from spending nearly everyday with her to having to not seeing her at all. He knew that was his doing but it still hurt. When he showed up here tonight he thought that she would slam the door in his face and tell him to go to hell. However, here she was sat in front of him again after three years. ''Liv..'' he choked with tears streaming down his face. ''I'm sorry.''
She sighed heavily and moved closer to him carefully placing her hand on his arm. ''El. I'm not mad at you anymore I understand why you wanted to leave the job I'm just confused as to why you didn't even warn me. I heard nothing from you when you left. You ignored me completely. Any time I tried to call you or message you I got nothing back.'' She looked down at her hands and stopped speaking for a second. Of course she was mad that her best friend of over 12 year left but she couldn't tell him that just yet. Not with the way he was feeling. After all this time she did still care. Throughout their partnership they had gone through so much. He was the longest relationship she had ever had with a man. They were a lot closer than partners and she knew it but there was no way she could've told him that she loved him back then. ''Look. We can talk about that another day.'' She moves her from his arm and and places it back onto her knee. ''Tell me what's happened to make you feel this way. You obviously came to me for a reason so please just let me help you..''
He nodded as a way of saying thank you for dropping the topic for now. He bit his lip nervously and sighed. After all this time he still trusted her with everything in him. As much as he wanted to protect her from what is going on inside his head, he knew that she was the only one that may be able to help him. No he knew that if he had his best friend back by his side helping him fight through this that he could do it. So he began telling her what happened. ''I'll start from the shooting. I was terrified when Jenna began shooting. I wasn't scared for me.. it was you I was worried about. She'd just hit Sister Peg and I couldn't help but think about how you could be next. I had to do anything I could to protect you and that's when I pulled out my gun and shot her without thinking about where the bullet would hit. When I turned to see if you were alright I seen the look on your face. I'd just killed a child..'' The tears flow freely down his face and he makes absolutely no effort to stop them. ''I had to get out of their as quick as I could, I'd failed Jenna completely. After leaving I went straight home to hug my kids. I spent the rest of the day watching them closely, Jenna was around the same age as Lizzie. Eventually. the kids went off to bed and Kathy confronted me and told me she knew what had happened. Cragen must have called her. She kept asking me to talk to her about how I was feeling but I just couldn't.. I wanted to speak to you but you were always the one left to pick up the pieces and help me. I wanted you to move on with your life which is why I never answered your calls or texts. Trust me I really wanted too.'' He looks up at her, his eyes red and puffy. '' Things went downhill from there. A few months passed and I shut out Kathy completely and began drinking. My drinking became really bad and I would start fights with strangers. It ended in me being arrested one night. The officer knew me so he rang Kathy and I was let go. Nothing went on my record. When we got to the car Kathy gave me an ultimatum, she said that I needed to seek help from somebody or I needed to leave and we would file for divorce. I chose to leave. It was best for everyone especially the kids. The older ones understood more but Eli had no idea what was going on. I haven't seen him since, Kathy wouldn't allow him to be around me whilst I was a drunk. Now on to what happened tonight..'' He sighs and faces her and sees the tears rolling down her face. ''I'm in pain constantly Liv, I felt like I was too far gone to seek help from a shrink. When I got home tonight I grabbed a bottle of vodka from the cupboard and made my way to my bedroom. I reached into the drawer and pulled out the gun that was kept in their for emergencies and began drinking. All I could think about was everything that I've managed to screw up. I didn't end up drinking that much as I became impatient. I started to move the gun up and held it toward my head. I was so ready to pull that trigger..'' He chokes and starts wiping the tears away.
'She couldn't bear to see him like this. He was always so strong. She wanted to reach out and hug him again but she wasn't sure how he'd react. She was crying as he told her his story. This wasn't the Elliot she knew. 'El.. take your time. We can take a break if you-'' She was cut off as he began to talk again.
''I couldn't do it. I had to see you. Me coming here was going to be my way of saying goodbye to you. I need help Liv. I know I do but I need my best friend back in order to help me heal. You're the only person I trust enough to tell anything too..'' He sighs and looks over to her as she gasps at him admitting he was trying to say goodbye.
''I'll help you El. I promise.'' She places her hand over his. ''Why don't you go get a shower and I'll get out some of your old sweats you left here. You can take my bed for the night and I'll take the sofa.'' He looked down at their hands then back up at her and nods '' I'll take the shower but I'm not pushing you out of your own bed so how about we share.. I want to hold you. It doesn't feel real you been back. I heard you were with Brian and I'm not doing this to ruin your relationship, I just miss you.''
She nods slowly not trusting her voice. She knows he means this in a completely innocent way but she still loves him and him holding her is going to make this so much harder for her. She sighs quietly she can't think of him this way. She has Brian. Although he's never here and constantly working they have something nice going on between them. She wouldn't really say she loves him the way she should because she doesn't. The only person she's ever loved completely would be Elliot. She snaps out of her thought as Elliot gets up and makes his way to the bathroom.
''As much as I hate to admit it, I need him just as much as he needs me'' she whispers and heads to her bedroom.
Thank you so much for reading! Please leave reviews. What would you like to see next? I'll read through all reviews!