Chapter One

September 1986...

An explosion erupted in the middle of the room.

Severus stormed over to the student's desk, his black robes billowing behind him in perfect reflection of his fury.

"Dearborn!" he snapped, furiously, as the terrified third year pushed himself up from the floor and cowered beneath the potion professor's glare; "Explain yourself."

"Uh...uh..." the boy stuttered. Growing visibly more petrified by the second, Severus noticed. He rolled his eyes and waved his wand, clearing the mess instantly, and turned his back, making his way to his desk.

"Ten points from Hufflepuff. And you shall write an essay outlining everything you did wrong to be completed by Friday."

He heard the boy heave an irritated sigh and turned dark eyes on him. The boy straightened and nodded immediately.

Severus held the boys look for a moment before glancing at the rest of the class, who were now all staring at him. He raised an eyebrow - "Well?" - and the class immediately resumed working on their potions.

Severus shook his head at the idiocy of his students and wondered, once again, why he had bothered to stay in the teaching profession. It had been five - rather pleasant, if he did say so himself - years since the Dark Lord had fallen and yet here he was. Still following Dumbledore's orders.

Was it gratitude that drove him to stay? Had that what it had been when he agreed to help Dumbledore protect Neville Longbottom? After all, he had been grateful. In one fell swoop, the Dark Lord had been eradicated and the threat to Lily was gone. It had been all he could do not to throw himself at the old man in thankfulness and pledge his undying loyalty to him when he had learned his old master's fate.

But Dumbledore had been quick to put a damper on his rapture, warning him that the Dark Lord would return - return? - Dumbledore had not elaborated on how that could be so. But he needn't have done so. Severus had his own suspicions, after all, and said suspicions had been confirmed over a year later during a conversation with Regulus, when he had revealed to him the true reasons why the old man had offered the youngest Black his public statement - a statement rather crucial in leading to the collapse of the trial against him - asserting Regulus' loyalty to the light. He had, in fact, gone to Dumbledore with information about the horcrux.

That horcrux had now been found and was currently locked up in some unknown location, for neither Regulus nor Dumbledore had been aware of how to destroy it. As far as Severus knew, the item could very well be within these very walls - it was the most likely scenario, that Dumbledore would opt to keep it close - and Severus almost shivered at the idea.

"Excuse me, Professor?" a young voice said tentatively at his side.

Severus glanced down at the young girl at his feet, "Miss Tonks?"

She held up the underside of her arm, revealing an ugly, blistering mark that was beginning to develop. He stared at it in horror for a moment before taking her arm gently; his tone, however, was not so gentle as he examined the injury; "How did this happen?"

"Uh...when the potion exploded, Sir," she stated, also straining to look at it.

"You should have told me immediately," he spoke in a clipped tone, "Dearborn, escort Miss Tonks to the infirmary and explain why she has been sent there."

He shot a disapproving look in the boy's direction, before addressing the rest of the class; "If there are any other injuries please report them now." He waited a moment and, when he received no response in the affirmative, waved a hand, "Carry on."

Idiots!

Children really did drive him nuts sometimes. At thirteen years old they should know that magical injuries, especially those involving unknown potions, ought to be checked out immediately.

And the last thing he needed was Andromeda Tonks breathing down his neck the next time they happened to run into one another - rather soon, if his schedule were accurate - and giving a scolding for not keeping an eye on her - self-admitted, incredibly clumsy - daughter.

A few moments later, the class was lining up to deliver samples of their potions and making their way from the classroom.

Severus eyed the vials unenthusiastically. It would be a long night.

He already had a number of articles to get through concerning the Aurelius Foundation and, to top that off, the new project was due to start in little over a week. As yet, he had barely even had the time to read up on the necessary research for their first meeting. Although, from what he had heard from other members, the project was hardly ready to commence on its scheduled date. Eugene Hopkins - tardy as ever - hadn't even begun the process of selecting their Fellowship applicants yet. No doubt he'd be finding himself drawn in on that assignment rather soon.

Within the next forty eight hours, if past performance were any indication, Severus would quickly be bombarded with applications for the Advanced Healing Fellowship, with some excuse from Eugene as to the heaviness of his workload - that damn boss of theirs, what a driver! - and so would begin a frantic hunt for their next handful of fellows. He smirked, remembering Hopkin's tactic the previous year when they had embarked on the Libius Project - not wanting to impose on Severus again, when he'd already done so, so frequently that year - and the old Healer had simply picked up an application at random; going ahead, without even reading the essentials, and accepting the wizard.

He - they all - had certainly come to regret that.

Frankly, Severus didn't see why they bothered taking on Fellows at all. Particularly when it came to projects such as this one, upcoming, which had a very delicate focus and would in no way be completed by the time the Fellowship came to an end. Severus was fully prepared to spend the next few years working on this one - a game changer, should they happen to get it right.

But then, if he were honest, he was fully prepared to fail in this endeavour, as enthused as he may be about its implications. It was not, of course, impossible; but it was improbable enough, that his expectations were low.

The reversing of the damage inflected by the Cruciatus...well, that was something medical researchers had been trying - and failing - at searching for treatments on for years, decades now, without success. Even with the heightened interest in the field, following the war.

A few moments later, his thoughts were interrupted, as his Slytherin and Gryffindor NEWTs class began to pour their way into the room. With a resigned, silent sigh he pushed any thoughts of his extra-curricular ventures aside.

"Albus," Lily sighed in exasperation, "You must understand my reasons for asking this of you."

It had been almost a decade since she had left Hogwarts and, despite serving with him in the Order during the war, Lily still couldn't help but think of him as her wise old headmaster from school. Therefore, only on very rare occasions did she refer to him as anything other than 'Professor Dumbledore'. Though, at this particular moment, she was quite willing to throw aside all conduct of politeness and beg the old man for his help.

Dumbledore regarded her thoughtfully for a moment before, once again, glancing over the papers she had given him at the beginning of their meeting, "Lily, you are...highly unqualified for this position."

"But with your endorsement –"

"Ah, but my endorsement would offer little help in this case," he interrupted, "For what do I know of such things?"

Lily glared at him, feeling her frustration peak, "You are one of the most highly regarded wizards of all time. I am sure your endorsement will mean something to my application."

The old wizard regarded her almost with amusement she noted, furiously.

"You must understand the competitiveness of these programmes," Dumbledore had stated at the beginning of their meeting.

She'd felt herself puff out indignantly. She certainly had the necessary life experience, the determination and the motivation to be successful. And while, yes, she may be under qualified but it was not unheard of for witches and wizards to go straight from the Healing Apprenticeships onto Fellowship training. As unlikely as her acceptance may be, it was still worth applying - there was certainly nothing to lose - and with the endorsement of her former Headmaster, the chances of her actually being successful were that much higher.

"Albus, what harm could it possibly do to you to consent to my request?"

"It is not harm to myself that concerns me," he replied, looking at her deeply.

She sighed, feeling the little energy she had had leave her. Must she always fight this battle alone? Did no one understand why she needed to do this? She had already had countless arguments with Sirius and Remus regarding the Fellowship; neither of them happy with the idea and neither had offered her any support.

It wasn't, even, that she felt the same desperation she had felt five years before. Those darker times, when all she could think about was James and how to get him back and all that they had lost.

That desperation had left her when Harry, at the age of two, started asking her why she was never home. It wouldn't do that her son should lose them both. So, she had stopped her frantic searching. But she still lived in hope that her husband could, one day, come back to them. And this, here, was precisely one of the things she could do to help make that hope a reality. After all, it was necessary for her to complete an Internship before she would be fully certified as a Healer and, while a Fellowship was necessarily taken on afterwards, this would kill two birds with one stone. She'd become a Healer - the minor goal of her choice of career, she was willing to admit - and she would be doing so in a way that remained steadfast to the actual goal she'd set out with in mind, those years before; exhausting every possible avenue that just might reunite their family.

Maybe by the time the Fellowship ended, she and Harry just might have James back.

Lily sighed, "I'm tired, Dumbledore. I'm tired of fighting; not just for my husband, but against everyone who claims to care about me. You, Sirius, Remus," she shook her head, "If you truly cared, you'd be supporting me in this. Have a little understanding of why I'm asking this of you, Sir," she glared at him in what she knew was a childlike manner, but she couldn't help it, "It's not as if I'm asking so great a favour, after all."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled slightly and she caught the slight turn-up of his lip at her defiant attitude. After a moment of regarding her, during which time she was sure her vision blurred for a moment, he leaned back.

"Very well, Lily."

She straightened with a childish excitement, her eyes wide.

"I shall endorse your application," she made to thank him but he continued, "But I must warn you; do not become too eager. As I have said, my endorsement is not a guarantee that you will be accepted."

Lily rolled her eyes, her previous delight successfully diminished by the old man's pessimism; "Thank you, Professor."

While she was thankful, she was also left with a feeling of profound irritation as she made her way back to the home she shared with Sirius and Harry that evening.

She really was sick of fighting. She was tired of all the concerned looks, the frequent arguments she had to endure with her friends – and not just her friends, but James' friends too - they, of all people, should understand. And she was tired of Harry's questions, of his frequent referring to his father as if he were gone. Because Sirius had made sure that, even if she would never accept it, that her son would. And that had infuriated her when she found out.

It's not fair to give a little boy false hope, Sirius had growled at her during the argument that ensued. And argument that had been followed by another, just as passionate, when Remus told her that he believed the same thing. Though Remus, at least, had courtesy to mind his own business and, despite voicing his disapproval to her, did not go out of his way to inform her - her - son that he would probably never have his father back.

The only thing that Lily could be grateful for was that Sirius had, apparently, began ensuring Harry was aware of it from a young age, young enough to not really understand what has godfather had been telling him. As such, the fact that his father wasn't involved in his life and was currently in St Mungo's became normality for him and she never really had to explain it to him. That she was grateful for; she supposed it was better that he not expect him to return and then be surprised, rather than constantly waiting until his father would walk through the door.

"Mum! Look!" her six year old spotted her immediately as she entered the house and proceeded to fly towards her on the new broom Sirius had bought for him.

She smiled as he jumped off and greeted her with a hug; "Where were you?"

"I was at Hogwarts."

His eyes brightened immediately, "That's the school I'll be going to, isn't it?"

"That's right," she nodded, as she removed her cloak; "Where's Uncle Sirius?"

"In the kitchen with Uncle Remus," Harry said, disinterestedly, as he climbed back onto his broom.

"With Remus?" she repeated in surprise.

"Yeah. They said it was private -" Harry made a face "- But they're talking about you, anyway, so it won't matter if you go in," he added, innocently, as his broom lifted off the ground.

Lily rolled her eyes. It was fairly obvious what they were talking about then.

She walked into the kitchen without knocking, the two on the other side of the door immediately going silent - their guilty expressions evident - before breaking into forced smiles.

"Alright, Lily?" Sirius greeted her, "Didn't hear you come in."

Remus lifted a hand, his smile turning genuine, in acknowledgement; "Hi Lily."

"Hey, Remus," she smiled, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," he replied, quickly, with a glance in the direction of the window, before back at her, "How about you?"

Lily nodded, raising an arch eyebrow, "Also fine."

"How'd it go with Dumbledore?" Sirius got right to the point, not going for Remus' tactic of false pleasantries; "Did he agree to do it?"

Both he and Remus regarded her with undisguised curiosity.

"Yes, he did," was all she offered, walking over to the stove, "Would either of you like some tea?"

"No, thanks," Remus replied, politely, while Sirius glowered at him.

Lily set about preparing one for herself, though she really didn't fancy it anyway.

"Did he say anything else?" Remus asked, when Sirius raised his eyebrow at him - obviously enlisting Remus in his 'plight' this evening.

Lily sighed, "Such as?"

"Such as – 'why?'" Sirius said, leaning back in his chair, obviously too impatient with Remus' tact to allow it to go on.

Lily shook her head;

"No. I'm sorry to disappoint you, Sirius, but he didn't."

"Lily –"

"Remus," she interrupted him and turned to face him, "I'm really not in the mood. I'm not getting into this with you two tonight," she looked back and forth between them, "Did you really think ganging up on me like some sort of intervention would stop me from doing this?"

"Lily," Remus leaned forward, speaking to her with rare insistence, "It's been five years. It's...it's time to move on. You've put your life on hold long enough."

Lily crossed her arms over her chest, "It's not like I'm not living, Remus. I have a son. I have friends. I've almost completed my training –"

"Yes, training which was taken on as a direct result of what happened to James," Remus rejoined, "With the intention of bringing him back –"

"It may have started that way, but I'm hardly indifferent to what I do," she reasoned; "I stopped only focusing on James' problem over a year ago. I have moved on, as best I can. And it is not up to you - either of you - to decide which why I choose to live my own life," she couldn't believe she was, yet again, defending herself to them; "And, considering the circumstances, it would be foolish of me not to try and get a place on this Fellowship."

"Lily –"

"Sirius," she stopped him, "Please. Are you trying to tell me if you had the chance to...to find out something that could help him; to be involved in something that might possibly bring him back that you wouldn't take it?"

Sirius was silent and she knew she'd got to him. She glanced over at the other man;

"And you, Remus?"

"That's different," Sirius spoke up, "You make every decision based on what you think James would want. You act like he's..."

"Like he's what?" she prompted, lowly.

"Like...like it's for sure that he's coming back," Sirius elaborated, "Look, I'm not saying that it's impossible. But..." he hesitated for a moment, "But you can't live every day expecting that, Lily. You can't."

Lily held his glare a moment but, knowing she didn't have the energy to get into a deeper argument just shook her head and turned away. She had done her best to live her life; she still enjoyed life.

Even then, she knew they were right - much as she would never admit it - deep down, she knew she couldn't make every decision based on what she thought James would want. But she couldn't help it. She had done it for so long. She had believed for so long that he would come back.

She didn't know how to deal with the alternative.

So, she carried on and she, quite simply, just refused to believe it.

Severus' suspicions had been proven right to an extent.

Eugene hadn't selected his candidates for the Fellowship. However he had surprised him by not, yet, asking him to review the candidates for him. He was currently wandering the older wizard's office, awaiting some new articles that were necessary for them to study prior to the commencement of the project and - at this point - was becoming more than a little impatient. He glanced at the timepiece confirming that, yes, he had, indeed, been waiting for almost twenty minutes.

He had half a mind to just leave.

A moving photograph hung on the wall; a woman around his age with her arms around two young girls who smiled and waved at him. Severus almost rolled his eyes. His own office held no such objects; books and parchments and ink and quills. Work was no place for sentimentality.

He glanced at the applications for the Fellowship that lay on his desk and curiously picked them up, deciding to have a skim through the various potential colleagues he would be working with. Most of the ones he read over were older wizards who had long ago completed their Internships; only a few of them were young and newly qualified. Obviously entirely aware that experience, rather than qualifications, was just as important an aspect to the project - more so, even - and few of them would have had such at their age.

"My apologies, Severus!" Eugene said, as he walked into the room, looking over some papers. He separated them out and handed some to him, "Here are the articles we discussed."

Severus took them and looked over them briefly, while the older wizard glanced through the papers in his hands. After a moment Severus looked up as the other wizard scoffed and saw him role his eyes.

At Severus' questioning look he explained; "Fellowship application. Under qualified."

He rolled it up - in obvious dismissal - and walked around his desk.

"If they're under qualified, why accept the application at all?" Severus wondered aloud as he took a seat on the other side of the desk.

"Well, this application comes with the endorsement of Albus Dumbledore."

Severus' head snapped up at that. He frowned; "Dumbledore?"

"Another boss of yours, am I right?"

Severus nodded and indicated to the application; "May I?"

"Please yourself -" Eugene handed it over; "- of course, there's no way I can accept her. She hasn't even completed her training!" he said in laughter, "I wonder at the old wizard accepting..."

Eugene's voice completely drowned out as Severus stared at the application before him. Lily Potter's application.

Lily!

Severus couldn't believe the sight before him. Though, he supposed, it wasn't really a surprise that she would attempt to win a spot on the project. Considering her family's circumstances...

Severus shook distasteful thoughts of James Potter from his mind and continued to read over the application; the personal statement went into rather personal detail of her experiences dealing with the after effects of the Cruciatus, not only including the situation with Potter, but also the shorter term effects she had experienced during the war. Severus almost rolled his eyes. How unprofessional to include such intimate details of her own life on the application. But Lily always was a sentimental fool who believed in other people's capacity for compassion.

He supposed she was as naive as always.

"I believe," Severus began, stopping Eugene mid-sentence, and without really thinking about what he was doing, "That this young lady could be a valuable addition to our team."

Eugene took a moment to comprehend what Severus has said and then frowned, "Indeed?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, before waving a hand over the application generally, "She certainly has experience dealing with the kinds of patients that we are going to encounter."

"But, Severus, she is under qualified!"

"As you have said, however I...once knew this witch," he stated, with as much detachment as he could possibly muster, "We attended Hogwarts together. She was a rather impressive student."

Eugene regarded him sceptically, "This project is hardly on par with a Hogwarts education."

"Yes, but I know her character," Severus said, more assertively this time, "She is very determined to succeed, which will be beneficial in this project. As well as that, there will be her added determination and enthusiasm due to her current circumstances," he waved his hand generally over the papers once again, "As outlined in her application."

Eugene was silent, at first continuing to regard him, and then seeming to stare at nothing for a moment.

He glanced back at him and then raised a hand to his chin, before he grinned, teasingly, "Could it be? Could it be that Severus Snape is actually offering his endorsement for this young lady?"

Severus, part of him saying he didn't know why he should agree and the other knowing without doubt, shrugged.

"I suppose one may see it that way."

Eugene's grin widened further. He took the application from Severus' hands and glanced over the application once again.

"Lily Potter," he said her name aloud, as if trying it out, before he glanced up at Severus, "You are certain about this? Our colleagues will not take kindly to me accepting yet another dunderhead," he said, referring to his previous candidate.

Severus smirked slightly at the reminder before answering assuredly;

"I believe her to be a very capable candidate for the post."

Eugene glanced back down at the application for a moment, before saying thoughtfully.

"Well...I suppose I would be a fool to ignore the endorsements of both yourself and Dumbledore..."

After a few seconds more of staring at the application Eugene gave a decisive nod and looked up; "Well, I suppose it's settled then. What's the worst that could happen?"

What, indeed?