"I am a monster," She softly asserted. "I used and hurt him for months and walked away." She shook her head, eyes focusing distantly on nothing. "He lost his mind for sixty seconds… and I killed him for it."

He didn't know what to say. What could he say?

"That's why you can't kill him, Angel. Yes. I forgave him. Not that he'll ever know," She sniffled. "And I can't ever ask his forgiveness. I took that away from him too when I made the wish."

He was still at a loss for words. How had things gone so far off the rails?

"But I can make it up to William," She added. "For ripping him away from everything he knows... everyone. For tearing away everything that made him who he was when I…" She paused. "He's a good man, Angel. He's everything that was good about Spike: passion, heart, devotion… and he loves me. I don't deserve it, but he does."

"Do you love him?"

She was silent for several long moments, her brow knit in concentration and she subtly rocked back and forth in what he recognized as a self-comfort comfort measure. He'd just never thought he would ever see Buffy use it.

"Buffy?" Had she gone catatonic on him? He waited another few moments as she continued rocking, before saying her name again.

"I think….," She paused, still staring blankly into space. "I think, that part of me is broken... But I can make him happy. I owe him that."

"That's why you slept with him?" He couldn't help asking. "Because you owed it to him?"

"No," she gave him a rueful smile. "I did it because he deserves it… to be happy. He was so confused and hurt, he didn't deserve... He deserves the only thing Spike really wanted all along… I don't think I have much left to give, but I can give what I have. It's the least I can do. It's what Spike did for me."

A muffled sound from behind Buffy broke through the bubble they'd been in, drawing their attention to the fact that at some point William had come out of his room and was standing just a few yards away, looking like he'd just been gutted. And then he did what Spike always did. You could actually see the transformation as he turned it all to anger and rage. If he'd not been human, he'd have been shifting into his demon face right about now and attacking someone, anyone. Instead, he took a few tentative steps back, looked wildly around, and then took off running right at him. He prepared to defend himself, but William flew past him and through the gathered group that had apparently been behind him, nearly knocking them all to the ground as he fled down the stairs. A second later, the lobby door loudly slammed open and bounced back, slamming shut.

And now he was faced with a dilemma. He could go find the idiot boy who'd gone running off in the Los Angeles night with no more sense then he'd been turned with, heartbroken and likely running headfirst into the waiting arms of the nearest vampire or demon pack. He could also try to help the first woman he'd ever truly loved, who was currently a crumpled mess in the middle of the hallway. He could do either of those things. And maybe he would. Eventually.

He turned and walked down the hall, and right through the shocked faces of his friends as he calmly walked down the stairs and around to his office. He heard Fred and Dawn trying to coax Buffy up out of the hallway as he grabbed the decanter he kept on a shelf and filled a tall glass of bourbon, and slammed it back. He filled the glass again as he walked over to his desk chair. He set the decanter on his desk and then leaned back in his chair, letting the thoughts of the evening's events swirl around in his brain as he swirled the bourbon around in the glass.

He heard the moment that Gunn finally decided what to do. He'd obviously decided to leave the ladies to themselves and was hesitantly making his way to his office. He should be arriving at his door in 3…2…1…

"Angel?" Gunn stepped slowly into the doorway.

"Hmmm?" He didn't really feel like having a big discussion at the moment.

"Look, man, I know it's not my place, but…"

"You're right. It's not your place." He still hadn't even looked up from his glass yet.

"Hey, you wanna play it that way, fine by me," Gunn said. "But I can't sit by while some guy who's new to this century gets himself killed by some vamp or demon because he hasn't got his head on straight and got himself lost in downtown at night. Just thought you might wanna come with is all."

"And why would I want to do that?" He mumbled. Why would he want to do that? Best he could figure, that would kill two birds with one stone. William would be relieved of his mortal coil and shuffle on back to the ether. Hell, he'd be in even better shape this time. He strongly doubted William had even had his cherry popped when he'd been turned the first time. Then again, who's to say he doesn't go get himself turned tonight. Wouldn't that be ironic? More likely he'd just end up as something's snack. Buffy'd grieve and feel guilty as hell, but she'd move on eventually. And at least it would be with his idiot grandchilde.

"Angel?" Gunn's voice broke him out of his thoughts and he looked up at him expectantly. "You know what? Nevermind. Just thought you might wanna see your ex happy. I hear from Wes that slayers don't often get that. Not to mention, the guy seemed pretty helpless when he left and that's sort of, you know, what we do."

He had a point. Not that he liked it, but he did. He was still debating the idea as Gunn turned and walked over to the weapons cabinet in the lobby, arming himself with a couple of small axes, and then heading out the doors. He heard the gate in the courtyard click shut before his conscience finally got the better of him. He slugged back the bourbon, grabbed a couple of stakes, and headed out to find Gunn. Hopefully, William hadn't already managed to get himself killed.

They'd been searching for a couple of hours, already. He and Gunn had split up, deciding it would cover more ground. He hadn't found William yet, but he was pretty happy about what he had found… Connor. He was currently engaging a decent-sized vampire in an alley and was holding his own for the most part. He was making a few rookie mistakes, letting himself get boxed in, chatting with the vampire instead of just killing him. It reminded him a bit of a certain blond currently occupying one of the rooms at the hotel. All talk and quips, almost seeming to play with their prey rather than efficiently staking them and moving on.

Oops, looks like the vampire was going to get away. He casually pushed a planter of the ledge, and it smashed to the ground right in front of the escaping vampire. The vampire paused a moment, looking up at him, giving Connor just enough time to catch up to it and stake it through the back. He pulled back into the shadows knowing Connor would also look up to see where the planter came from. A second later, he watched Connor walk back over to a door in the alley and disappear back inside. Was this where he was staying? Not much more than a slum, really. Probably full of squatters unless he missed his guess. Should he search Connor out? Talk to him? Try to bring him back to the hotel?

No, he wasn't ready yet. Connor would be angry to see him. He still had that primal need to prove himself capable, if not better off, without him. It reminded him of a certain young vampire he'd taken under his wing more than a century ago. Such a need to prove himself at all costs. Relishing everything so new and exciting, no longer constrained to social morals, and yet clinging to some of them like a lifeline. He'd never been able to get Spike to relish the art of terrorizing victims, drawing out their fear, giving them just enough hope before destroying both it and them. Spike had only ever really thrown himself into the fight. Relishing the challenge no matter the odds or the size of his opponent. He'd begrudged the lessons he tried to teach him, trying much like Connor was now to prove he was his own man, with no need of his elders.

"I know you're there, watching me." He called into the darkness.

"We weren't spying…" Fred answered sheepishly.

"Well, actually we were." Gunn corrected her, as they both walked up to him.

"Ok, we were. It's just we were a little concerned about you. Skulking off into the night alone." Fred always was the one to say what everyone else had been thinking. It was one of the things he loved about her.

Just then, the door Connor had disappeared into came flying open and Connor emerged, an arm slung over his shoulder helping another guy out the door and down the alley.

"You should go after him, talk to him if that's what you want," Gunn motioned towards his wayward son. Is that what he wanted?

He listened as the conversation between Connor and the other guy drifted up to him. He groaned at the all too familiar second voice. The powers have to be toying with him. A city of 4 million humans and almost as many demons, and somehow those two end up running into each other.

"Wait… is that…?" Gunn left the question hanging.

"Yes." He suddenly felt bone-weary.

"But, how did they…?" Fred also left the question hanging.

"The powers hate me?" He offered. "It's the only explanation. They hate me."

"So, boss, what're we gonna do?" Gunn asked him.

How the heck should he know? Neither one probably wanted to see him right now, and truth be told he really didn't want to see William right now either.

"Connor will take care of him. Get him somewhere safe." He answered. Doing nothing was a good option, right?

"But for how long?" Fred countered. "I mean, William doesn't know anything about Los Angeles. Does he even know the name of the hotel or how to get ahold of us?"

"What do you want me to do, Fred? Dropdown there and ask why the hell my wayward son is toting around my wayward ex vampire prodigy? Which one do I beat into submission and which one do I drag kicking and screaming back to the hotel? Hell, neither one probably wants to ever set foot in there again!"

"Well, you could try just talking to them now that you've got their undivided attention," Fred pointed down into the alley. He turned around to see two sets of blue eyes staring up at him the alley below. One defiantly angry, and one still trying to figure out what he was seeing by the looks of him.

"Great. Just… great." He breathed out a growl before stepping up onto the ledge. Taking in a deep breath of air he didn't need, he blew it out to calm his nerves. Or maybe to delay the inevitable. How is it two people could so unnerve him after all the centuries of carefully cultivated menacing calm? He rolled his eyes at the futility of stalling and dropped off the ledge, landing smoothly in the alley.

"Connor," He was going for nonchalant. It came out more on the petulant side.

"Dad." Connor seemed to be going for annoyed with a side of pissed off. It worked more or less.

"So… how've you…." He figured pleasantries were a good place to start.

"Look, I don't have time for this. I need to get this guy somewhere safe. I leave him here he'll end up dinner, or worse, when the rest of that nest comes back. He was trying to get himself turned for some reason." Connor turned to go, dragging the semi-conscious William with him. He didn't smell any blood, but he could smell the alcohol rolling off of him.

"Should have known," He said to himself quietly. Classic Spike to run off and drown himself in alcohol and then do the first stupid thing that popped into his head.

"What?" Connor suddenly spun around. "Should have known what, dad." The last word couldn't have carried any more venom if he'd been part Gorgon.

"This is going to sound crazy, but the guy you're holding up used to be a vampire."

Connon scoffed at him, rolling his eyes in that infuriating way only the young seem to be capable of. "You really expect me to believe that? I'm not stupid. You can't reverse someone being turned, and this guy's all human."

"Well, technically, there are a couple of things…" He remarked off-hand. "Mohra blood, power of a vengeance demon, probably a few others I don't know…"

Connor just stared at him, anger clearly rolling off of him in waves. He turned and started to walk off with William again.

"You don't have to take my word for it. Just…" He sighed deeply. He couldn't believe he was about to ask this. "Just, bring him back to the hotel? Please? His… girlfriend... is there. She can tell you who he is and then she can haul is annoying sorry ass back to Sunnydale."

Connor gave him a knowing smirk as his eyebrows shot halfway up his forehead. Probably picked up on the pain it took him to refer to Buffy as William's girlfriend. Connor looked over at William and gave him an appreciative nod.

"You know, I thought there wasn't much of anything to this guy, but anyone who can annoy you that much clearly has potential. Think I'll get to know him better before I let you have him back." Connor turned and started walking again.

"His girlfriend's a mess, Connor. She was crying her eyes out in the middle of my floor when I left." If he played his cards right… Connor was a sucker for a damsel in distress.

Connor stopped. He took several breaths as he seemed to be at war with himself. He turned back around, and with another deep eye-roll, he huffed out a "fine" and promised to drop him off at the hotel.

"I can take him…" He began to offer.

"I said I'll do it!" Connor's interrupting assertion broached no argument.

He held up his hands in surrender, and then he casually strolled past the pair on his way out of the alley. Once he was beyond them, he couldn't help but smile. Maybe this night was looking up after all.