Chapter Twelve

Severus couldn't help the grin he had as he and Lily approached – what he knew to be – the final branch of the maze. He found, when he did, that he had no real desire, whatsoever, to head back out there.

Back out to the real world.

He hesitated, getting an idea, before he looked over his shoulder and – finding no one – he frowned, turning back the way he'd come.

"Lily?"

He made a few – several more steps – in his previous direction, onto to be met with:

"Boo!"

Lily face was suddenly centimetres from his – her hands upon his arms to steady herself – having just jumped out from behind one of the statues in an attempt to startle him.

And startled he was, jumping back and almost stumbling like right clumsy fool over the foot of one of the stone benches behind him.

Lily giggled – obviously pleased with herself – and side stepped him with a grin, making her way towards the exit.

Severus drew in a deep, silent breath, attempting to steady his breathing and ignore the thumping of his heart in his chest.

Had she felt it?

He shook the idea away; of course not. They had touched for mere seconds.

"Which way?" Lily asked, when he reached her.

They had come to the final fork in the road, so to speak, and were only seconds from finding themselves back outside in the Foundation gardens.

Severus hesitated, then grinned, shrugging, "Your turn."

She rolled her eyes, "Seriously? You take me this far, and then stop at the last possible moment?"

"The last possible moment? For all you know these routes could lead us back to the centre."

"We've been going 'round in circles for almost half an hour, how long could the maze possibly be?"

"That's something to take up with the Founder, I'm afraid. Perhaps I can arrange a meeting for you?"

"Let's go left."

Lily turned, choosing – to Severus' disappointment – the correct route to the exit and a few moments later they were stepping out of the structure, back into the gardens.

Severus felt himself redden when he noticed some heads turn in their direction curiously though, after a little scrutiny, they appeared to have passed the 'assessment of decency' and the brief attention they had received was gone.

Severus started to speak, however, before he had the chance, a concerned voice rang out.

"Lily!"

They both turned sharply in the direction of the voice – an oddly familiar one – and Severus felt his joy die away at the sight of Remus Lupin hurrying towards them, a woman he didn't recognise at his side.

"Remus?" Lily was frowning as she stepped towards him, "What are you doing here?"

Lupin looked like he was trying to calm himself down before he spoke, glancing in Severus' direction for a moment with undisguised curiosity, before turning his attention back to Lily, "Nothing to worry about. It's just Harry –"

"Harry?"

The little bit of joy that had been left in Lily's expression vanished, to be replaced by a look of panic that Severus recognised to be typical of a mother fearing for the safety of her child.

"What is it? Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's fine, but – see, there was an accident –"

Lily didn't wait to hear the rest, pushing by Lupin and hurried towards the gates, with the clear intention of returning to her child's side, immediately.

Severus watched after her for a moment before he felt himself being watched and turned to find the werewolf's eyes on him.

Severus returned his glare, not quite a scowl but definitely not friendly, before he walked by him and made his way back to the party. He heard the woman saying something to Lupin, before they followed in the direction Lily had taken.

Severus didn't get far – only a few steps – before he was halted, suddenly, by the 'pop' of an apparition of Regulus' house elf, right below his feet.

"Professor Snape."

"Kreacher."

"Master Regulus asks that Professor Snape immediately apparate home."

Severus frowned, "Home?"

"Master Regulus insists."

Kreacher disappeared with a 'pop', clearing as unhappy at being dispatched to deliver the message and Severus was to be faced with the odious creature.

Severus rolled his eyes – vaguely wondering why Regulus would summon him home, in the middle of one of his own fundraisers – and made his way to the gates, apparating to Grecian's Clay where their joint home was situated.

He was not wondering long.

For in the place where his and Regulus' joint home should be, there was now merely a pile of ash and smouldering rubble in its stead.

Sirius stared at the picture of himself and Harry hanging on the wall, as he lay on Harry's bed, his godson cuddled up into his chest, sleeping soundly.

Sirius released a trembling breath, feeling guiltier than he ever had done in his life. Harry was fine, the Healer had assured him.

Just a broken arm and a mild concussion, he'd said, before he had quickly corrected the broken arm and given him a potion to drink for his head.

Just a broken arm. Just a mild concussion.

Sirius dreaded facing Lily with the news.

He had taken Harry out flying – with her permission, at least – and he had crashed headfirst into the ground! It could have been so much worse. Sirius shook his head in disgust with himself, at how his distractedness about Peter had almost cost him the one person who was dearest to him in this world.

Sirius pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's head.

He heard the door to the house open and slam, followed by frantic footsteps coming up the stairs. He drew in a deep, bracing himself for the quarrel that he knew was to come.

The door to Harry's room opened – so forcefully that Harry was jolted from his slumber – and Lily stood there, staring at them both for a moment and Sirius could see the terror in her expression slowly slip away upon seeing Harry awake and well – well, well-ish – before she hurried over, sitting next to the two of them on the bed.

Harry shifted in Sirius' arms, sitting up, "Mum."

"Are you okay?" she took his face in her hands, speaking with a softness that didn't match the franticness in her eyes, as she quickly glanced over her son.

Harry nodded and Sirius released him from his hold and pushed himself up to sit on the bed more comfortably.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" Lily's hands were running up his arms, as if feeling for the broken bone that had been there before.

"No," Harry shook his head, "Uncle Sirius took me to hospital. The Healers said I was fine."

Sirius caught a brief flash in Lily's eyes as she glanced in his direction, but she kept her expression soft and smiled when she looked back at Harry; "What happened, sweetheart? Do you remember?"

Harry nodded, glancing at Sirius for approval. Sirius forced himself to smile reassuringly at the boy, though he had the distinct impression that whatever he was going to say would not be to his advantage.

"I was flying on my new broom," Harry said, speaking with a thoughtful tone, "And then I saw Uncle Sirius run away. So, I tried to turn around, but my broom hit one of the posts," he shrugged, innocently, "And then I fell."

Lily raised her eyes to Sirius, her brow furrowing slightly, "What do you mean Uncle Sirius ran away?"

Harry shrugged, innocently, looking over at his Godfather with as much bafflement as his mother.

Sirius rubbed Harry's arm – avoiding Lily's eyes - and changed the subject; "The Healers said he'd be fine. But he can't ride his broom for four weeks and we have to keep an eye on him for the next couple of days. Mild concussion, is all –" he tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, as if that might convince Lily it were no big deal, "- he gave him a potion for it."

"I broke my arm too, Mum," Harry announced proudly – while Sirius wished the ground would swallow him whole at the look of horror on Lily's face – as he held up his right arm, "But they fixed it, see."

"How long has he been sleeping?" Lily rubbed the arm Harry had held out to her, looking directly at Sirius, "You know –"

Sirius nodded and quickly interrupted, "I've been waking him every hour. But he's better. He's fine. Really."

Lily gave him a look that seemed to say – 'who are you trying to convince?' – but never said anything further, instead turning her attention back to her son.

She pulled Harry into a hug, pressing her lips to his head, and Sirius thought he saw a tear slip down her cheek before she buried her face into his hair.

"Are you sure you feel alright, sweetheart?"

"Uh huh. I'm fine," Harry reached for his robes that were flung over the chair next to the bed, pulling out a chocolate frog wrapper, "Look, the Healer gave me this. And look!" he grinned at her brightly, holding up the card that had been inside, "It's Merlin!"

Lily smiled and nodded, and Sirius half expected that she was going to burst into tears from the look on her face. But instead she took a deep breath, giving her son another quick hug, "Alright. Well, you better get back to sleep."

"Uncle Remus was here," Harry said, in an obvious attempt to delay being sent back to sleep.

"I know. I saw him."

"Is he still here?"

"No, he's gone home. But he's coming to see you tomorrow. First thing. Sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you'll see him, alright?"

Harry smiled brightly at that, giving a nod, and shimmying down into the covers.

Lily smiled and pressed another kiss to his forehead, before she stood and looked in Sirius' direction – all the warmth that had been present when she had looked at her son gone – and she held that look for a moment, making it clear that there was more to come.

Sirius swallowed and reached over, ruffling Harry's hair, "Sleep well, little man."

He swung his feet over the side of the bed and stood up, as Lily pulled the covers out from underneath Harry and tucked them up around him.

"You come and wake me if you need me, okay?"

Harry's eyes seemed to gleam mischievously at that but Lily took no notice, giving him a loving smile, before she turned and headed out the room. Harry blew Sirius a kiss as he walked by, which his Godfather pretended to catch, and, with a forced grin, he forced himself to follow Lily and closed the door.

Lily didn't say anything at first, as they walked down the stairs, the silence almost deafening as they made their way through the living room and into the kitchen.

Sirius stopped just as he got through the door, waiting expectantly. The two of them stood like that a moment, him behind her, she not facing him.

And then she turned and he almost flinched at the look of fury in her eyes and, for a moment, truly thought that she was going to slap him.

Instead she flicked her wand and the door behind him closed. Her voice was low when she spoke.

"Uncle Sirius ran away?"

Harry didn't like it when they fought.

But he was never surprised when they did.

He could tell when they were in the room that they were going to fight.

They had that look.

The very look they always had before they sent him to his room and it never took long after that for them to start shouting. And – just as he knew was going to happen – Harry quickly heard the familiar rumbling of angry voices downstairs.

They weren't shouting yet.

But they would.

Harry drew in a sad, shaky breath, reaching up to touch where he had hit his head before. He winced at the tenderness he felt but, upon glancing in his reflection in the mirror on the wall, could see no mark when he had fallen.

He lifted his arm to look at, once again filled with wonder at how quickly and easily they had fixed it and how quickly the pain had disappeared once he did.

Harry had thought his Uncle Sirius was going to cry when he was standing there, watching the Healers rushing about him. He had never seen him cry before and he had felt really guilty when he realised that he was the reason his uncle was upset. And he kept trying to say sorry and offered as many hugs as he could, to try and wipe the sadness away.

But his Uncle Sirius hadn't let Harry apologise, insisting that he was the one that was sorry and that he'd never let him get hurt again.

He heard the voices grow louder below him and he pushed himself into a seated position, as a worrying thought came to mind.

Were they arguing over him?

His Uncle Sirius had been upset earlier and had almost cried because of him. And his mum looked like she was going to cry as well when she had come to see him.

Harry swallowed down the lump that has risen in his throat and suddenly felt uneasy, like he wanted to cry as well. But he was too old for that, he quickly reminded himself, pushing away the upset he felt. He would just go downstairs and tell them he was sorry.

They didn't need to fight.

Harry quickly threw the covers off of himself and climbed out of bed, scurrying from the room, towards the stairs, eager to make them stop.

He could almost hear them, able to pick out little bits of what they were saying and then he stopped, feeling worried, because they sounded so much angrier than he expected.

So, he sat down on the stairs, instead, listening to them and waiting until they didn't sound so mad.

"Six years old...could have been killed..."

"...flown on a broom plenty times..."

"...watching him!..."

So, they were arguing about him.

Harry swallowed, feeling guiltier, as he realised that his mum was very, very angry at his Godfather and he was the reason for it.

"...only reason it's never happened to you is because you're never here!"

"Fuck you!"

Harry jumped, his mum's voice sounding particularly furious.

He felt himself shaking and drew his knees to his chest, looping his arms around his legs in a tight hug.

He wished his Uncle Remus was there. He could always stop them fighting.

"...supposed to be taking care of him..."

"..some responsibility...always leaving him with me..."

"...you said you wanted...now such a burden..."

Harry frowned, leaning fully against the banister to try and hear more clearly.

"...distract for days...Peter...need to stop obsessing..."

"...Obsessing? Look who's talking...your son...should take more responsibility..."

"...doing my best..."

"...trying so hard to give him a father...can't even give him a mother!"

Suddenly they went quiet.

Harry frowned, straining to hear them.

Maybe if they had gone quiet, they wouldn't be so angry now. And he could go to them and say he was sorry and then they'd be fine.

He tentatively stood and made his way down the stairs as quietly as possible. He hurriedly made his way across the living room towards the kitchen door, when the voices didn't come, a strange silence falling over the house,

And then he could hear his mum crying, saying something he couldn't make out.

"...Lily, I'm sorry..."

"...maybe we should leave..."

"...no...don't you need to..."

"...this isn't working...fighting too much..."

Harry took a step back, his heart sinking, before hurried forward, as quietly as possible, leaning his ear against the door.

"...think it would be best. Harry and I have been living here too long. You said he was getting confused."

"That doesn't mean I want you to leave. We can make it work. Explain to him –"

"What for? I mean, look at us, Sirius, we fight constantly. What if he can hear us?"

"He can't. Look, Lil' –"

Harry backed away from the door, suddenly certain that he was going to cry.

His mum was going to take him away!

It was just like Ron had said.

Harry turned and hurried away from the door, trying to keep as quiet as possible. He had to see his Uncle Remus. He had promised him he wouldn't let his mum take him away.

He reached the door and tugged on the handle, relieved to see they hadn't yet put the wards on for the night and hurried out into the darkness.

Severus threw himself down onto his single bed in his chambers at Hogwarts, noting with irritation that he would be subjected to the place for the foreseeable future. At least until the investigation into the destruction of his and Regulus' home was dealt with and they received the settlement for the damages.

Damages!

Absolute destruction was the more appropriate term.

All his books. His potions ingredients. His journal of new spells and potions!

And an investigation was hardly necessary. Both he and Regulus, and anyone aware of what had happened earlier that week when someone had attempted to poison the latter, knew that this was an act of vengeance. Severus felt his blood boil as he thought about it. Wasn't it enough that Regulus had devoted his life, every penny he owned, towards helping those who had suffered? The past couldn't be changed.

That was something he constantly reminded himself. That was what let him move on.

The past can't be changed.

But the future, that is what you make of it. And Regulus was trying. It infuriated him that someone was doing this to him; was trying to punish him for something he had taken responsibility for. For what he was repenting for.

And his books, his potions, his spells. All gone!

Severus shook his head, trying to focus on something else. It was done now, there was nothing that could be done to stop it.

He sighed, attempting to calm himself, and found his mind drifting back to earlier that evening, before all hell had broken loose.

He had been with Lily. He smiled at the memory; speaking to her, teasing her, her chasing him through the maze when he had teasingly quickened his pace. It had almost been like they were teenagers again. Perhaps even before that; when it was just the two of them. The fields, the river, the woods down by where they lived.

He tucked a hand behind his head, allowing himself to remember everything that had happened with her. The way she had grabbed his arms when she jumped out at him; the twinkle in her eyes; her breath in his face; the smell of her perfume.

Severus suddenly scoffed at himself, at the ridiculous thoughts he was having, and shook his head. What was the point of such frivolous thoughts? As far as he could tell, from the ring she still wore, she still considered herself a married woman; and that was only one of many obstacles, he might add.

He rolled his eyes at himself, flicked his wand to turn off the lights, and rolled over.

But as he lay there he couldn't help but smile. They were friends again.

Something had changed for the better.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, Lily."

Sirius' eyes were desperate and Lily shook her head, because she knew that he did mean it, and that he had been implying as such for weeks now.

That she wasn't doing right by her son.

"Lily," Sirius tone was almost pleading, "I'm sorry, okay? I think you're a great mum. And I love having you both here –"

"We have to think about what's right for Harry."

"This is right for Harry," Sirius took her hand, forcing her to turn to face him in her chair, "Lily, you know it is. He's happy. He's got us both here. And...and sometimes you can't be here – and that's okay!" he quickly added, obviously sensing her about to interrupt, "That's okay. I don't mind that. I want to be here for him. For both of you. I promised James I would and I meant it. I'm here for you, Lily."

Lily sighed and allowed herself to look at him – really look at him – and she could see the desperation, the hurt in his eyes that she would even think about leaving.

About taking Harry away.

Lily almost shook her head, realising just how much of a mess they had gotten themselves into by living together in the first place.

And then she remembered just how much Sirius had done for them. How he had been there, everyday, for the past five years. Taking Harry without question whenever she needed him to, when she was doing her training, when she was doing her apprenticeship. Even now, when she was doing something he so strongly objected to, he was still there.

Sirius was still with them. Behind her.

When Lily looked back, Sirius was looking at the table, a look of defeat and pain in his eyes, clearly contemplating the idea of living without them.

Lily sighed, causing him to look at her and she opened her arms with a small smile, "I'm sorry."

Sirius looked momentarily surprised. And then he returned the smile and leaned in, hugging her tightly, "Does this mean you'll stay?"

"Are you sure you want us to? I mean, don't you want to settle down with someone –"

"No, I'm sure," Sirius interrupted her, "And I'm really sorry, Lily. Not just for what I said but for Harry as well. I was...distracted. It won't happen again, I promise."

She pulled back raising an eyebrow with a small smile.

"Damn right, it won't."

Remus hurried through the small living room of his flat, shrugging himself into his robe, at the sound on the insistent knocking at his door.

Something must be wrong.

He pulled the door open, freezing in shock at the sight before him. Six year old Harry Potter, in his pyjamas, tears streaming down his cheeks, standing alone on his doorstep.

"Harry," Remus quickly pulled him in, "What...how...where's your mum?"

The little boy only sobbed and Remus dropped to his knees, pulling him into a tight hug. He held him for a moment as he cried before a sudden panic seized him, and he drew back, holding Harry by the shoulders, "Did something happen, Harry? You mum? Uncle Sirius? Are they okay?"

Harry looked at him with a confused frown at the question and nodded, sniffing as he did so, "Uh huh. They're okay."

"Then wha...what are you doing here? Are you by yourself?"

At Harry's nod, he went on anxiously, "Harry you can't do that! Do you know how late it is! How dangerous...There's people outside, bad people –"

"It's just like Ron said, Uncle Remus! Mum's gonna take me away!" the boy declared, interrupting him, before he sobbed again.

Lily stepped into her room, feeling physically and emotionally exhausted.

Were there any other emotionally draining things that could have possibly happened that day?

Visiting James, frolicking in the bushes with her old best friend, her son almost killing himself falling off his broomstick, and yet another, much more heated, argument with Sirius.

She reached up, pressing a hand to her forehead, before catching sight of her ghastly reflection in the mirror. Apparently, she looked just as bad as she felt and she rubbed the hand that was on her forehead, feeling the tell tale signs of a headache.

She could put it down to the champagne she drank earlier that evening.

Though she doubted that it could be blamed entirely.

Lily quickly changed into her nightgown and prepared to climb into bed however, hesitated a moment, and then headed out the door, back down the hall towards Harry's room.

She paused a moment at the door, noticing it was still slightly ajar from earlier and wondered for a moment if he had heard her and Sirius arguing, before quietly pushing it open and glancing into the room.

She frowned, an uneasy feeling settling over her when she didn't see him in his bed, and quickly flicked her wand to light the room.

A few seconds later she was at the door of Sirius' room, knocking frantically. The door pulled open and Sirius stood there, still dressed in his day clothes.

"Is Harry in there?" she asked before he could say anything.

Sirius frowned, "No –"

The look on his face had been enough to answer her question and she was already hurrying down the stairs before he had finished answering.

She heard him follow close on her heels as she called for her son.

"Harry? Harry?"

Met only with silence and darkness, she felt a breathless dread wash over her.

Before she could fully react, the floo flared up and Remus' face appeared in the flames, "Anyone there?"

She hurried over to him; "Remus, Harry is –"

"Don't worry," Remus interrupted, "He's here. He's with me."

"What do you mean he's with you? How did he get there?"

Remus glanced between the both of them, looking particularly unimpressed, "He managed to sneak out while you two were screaming your heads off at each other. At least, that's the impression I got when he showed up in tears at my doorstep."

"Get back, I'm coming through," Lily began to reach for the floo powder.

"He's sleeping. Maybe you should come and get him tomorrow."

"No –"

"Lil'," Sirius put a hand on her shoulder, "Maybe he's right. We don't want him more upset."

Lily hesitated a moment, her heartbeat and breathing still coming frantically, the terror of finding her son gone not quite leaving her yet.

She forced herself to calm down and turned back to Remus; "Is he okay?"

"Just a bit upset."

"Physically? He has a concussion –"

"I know. Was there, mind? He's fine. Don't worry."

Lily nodded, swallowing guiltily, Remus' clipped tone making his disapproval over what had happened between them apparent, "Okay...okay, I'll come and get him in the morning."

Remus barely even nodded, saying nothing else, before the flames died down and his face disappeared.

She felt Sirius hand on her shoulder again, giving her a comforting squeeze, before she heard him make his way back up the stairs.

She sighed, lifting a hand to her face, and sunk back onto the couch, as Sirius' words during their argument came back to her.

He had said it before. That Harry needed a mother. That she wasn't around enough. Always in an argument though, never with concrete proof.

And now here she was, the evidence of her failings as a mother staring her straight in the face.

What more proof did she need?