Hi. Firstly, I would like to warn you, I am extremely unfamiliar with character names, and I haven't watch the anime in like 7 months, so my memory is probably a bit off, but this is mostly just crack with plot, cause this will be funny. At the start. It will slowly get darker.
Also, I'm not fucking with Japanese names and shit, so first names for characters, thanks.
Warning: Blood, Gore, Swearing, Rude jokes, OOC and Crack. Read with caution.
HI, future me here, so, there's no sex in this, despite what the chapters are called, only sex jokes, and stuff like that. I purposely made all of the chapter titles out of context, but most of those out of context titles are said somewhere in the chapter.
Also, if there's gore and you don't like it, I'll put a warning at the start and a summary at the end, so you can skip it and still read.
Fucking Octopuses
At First, it was barely noticeable. Well, actually, it wasn't noticeable at all, unless it was pointed out, like a small imperfection that you don't know is there until you see it, and then you can't unsee it. But instead of anyone unseeing it, it got clearer. It got worse. He got more insane.
Come to think of it, insane wasn't the right word, but Karma had no other way to describe it. Delusional? But it was too far-fetched to be the result of a broken mind, or years of (borderline) abuse. No, Karma could guarantee it was real, to some extent.
He used to notice things, but none of them were really that concerning, and when he spoke so cryptically, it always sounded like an inside joke that only he knew. Everyone just accepted it as him being his usual silly self, bright, bubbly, and so fucking random. When he decided to speak up, that was. He was mostly quiet.
But something irked Karma, and he couldn't accept it, because there was something he didn't know, and that didn't sit right. Karma knew everything, Karma knew people. All except one, and his name was Nagisa Shiota, a complete mystery to the point where you're oblivious that there even is a mystery.
Nobody heard it, all to engrossed in the... giant yellow octopus claiming to be their teacher, whom they had to assassinate come march. Jaws hit the floor, people gasp, cue dramatic music Etc. Etc. At least he hopes nobody heard, because that would royally fuck up the entire game, and when Kaede looks at him surprised and Nakamura sceptically, he wishes... He could erase memories.
(let's keep it child-friendly for now, he thinks with an inside laugh)
"Nagisa? What did you say?"
She asks as if she didn't hear, but they both know she did, because there's a hint of a stutter in her voice. Apparently, her previous occupation wasn't a good fit, because she's not a very good actor. But the question makes sense, because what did he say under his breath? What did she (Mostly for game-plot convenience, because we need to keep the 4th wall intact) hear?
"Well shit, I was kinda hoping to do a warrior class"
He can see why it confused her, because; 1. Kaede probably doesn't understand the strange language of gamers, and 2. Nagisa is clearly too weak to do anything like that, no shame in admitting it. But hey, the statement was somewhat correct, because he wasn't actually intending to do an assassin class, he wanted to be a mage and set everything on fire and shit.
Fucking octopus, ruining his fun. Ironically, he's happy about being given the challenge to assassinate him, because right about now, he would love to. Still though, octopuses be fuckin' shit up. He has to stress that point.
Nagisa hears a quiet beep, like it's a fair distance away, but far too close, at the same time. He knows what that means, and let's out a sigh, which again, alerts the green haired girl next to him, who snaps her head to the side quick enough to break a neck or two. He wants to tell her to mind her own business, but instead, he smiles and politely waves her off. He hopes she doesn't notice how passive-aggressive it was.
Because it was.
They go about the day as usual, or at least, Nagisa's usual. Everyone is just blown away from the massive bomb that these two random (rather stoic, rather tentically) old guys just dropped on them. Nagisa wonders why, because this is a normal day for him, the only difference being they're training to be assassins instead of mages. (He's still pissed off about that).
Come the end of the day, everyone is worn out, because these fucking teenagers don't do shit except sit around with all their age-exclusive angst and hormone induced sleepy-times, playing games on their shitty little X-boxes. Nagisa feels better, because his game is actually real. Or he's a crazy fucker. Or both.
They leave, and Nagisa's happy he doesn't have to deal with this shit anymore.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, his brain sends his thought to a cirtain NPC that's been bugging him for a while, and that he's definite runs a satanic cult in a random church in the mountains.
There are a lot of things one can do while suspended from school:
• Beat up people from said school.
• Beat up people from other schools.
• Beat up adults.
• Stalk your crush, who also happens to be the person you can never figure out, to the point where it hurts.
• Get called back into school a day before your suspension ends to find out that you have a new teacher that happens to be an assassination target and you happen to be that assassin.
• Steal your parents champagne, buy some party popper, and sit alone in the bathroom getting drunk irresponsibly, just because you finally get the once in a lifetime opportunity to brutally murder a teacher.
• Contemplate the word assassin; Ass Ass In. But the question is, what goes in the asses?
After the list is completed, Karma goes back to the fourth one, because it's his Favorite. He can't help but notice the way Nagisa's expression changes when he's alone, from shy and cute, to full-blown disturbing. Karma isn't scared, though, because that would be ridiculous. Then he realises that he scared himself, because not being scared is scary.
He rethinks his life choices as he watches the blue haired mystery, and smiles, because he's forming a plan.
(It's not considered stalking, because he didn't take any pictures, at least, not today.)
Idk if I'll continue this.
*Starts working on the second chapter 2 seconds after writing this one*
Guys, seriously, probs not going to continue.
*Finishes second chapter and moves onto third*
Well shit