"Angel, I think we should be formulating some sort of game plan," Wes suggests. As if I hadn't already thought of that.

"Gee, thanks, I hadn't considered that until you mentioned it."

"At least she's still a vampire."

"Why wouldn't she be?" I'm not following his line of thinking here.

"Well, Darla gets resurrected. Spike is returned to William. You have the Shanshu prophecy. I half expected that we'd be seeing her turn up as human as well."

"All random events," I dismiss his observation.

"Yes, perhaps." He concedes. "Regardless, you now have a hysterical Englishman sitting in your lobby thinking he's about to die. So, what do you propose to do?"

"Nothing," I answer him.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Well, as plans go that's one option…"

"Look, Wes, last I checked we still hated each other and I wanted you dead for kidnapping my son and handing him over to Holtz. Not exactly ready to trust your judgment just yet. We don't need a plan, because there's already a plan."

"Oh… well, you might have mentioned that sooner." Wes settles on the edge of my desk.

I give him a look that says to get the hell off of my desk.

"So," He says, standing back up again. "What is this plan of yours?"

"Bide our time. Wait until Buffy gets back."

"Buffy? Who went back to Sunnydale yesterday?" Wes asks. I'd forgotten how condescending he can be sometimes.

"She had to. Dawn had some sort of school thing in the morning. She'll be back the next day." I clarify for him. "Do you think I should put Connor in school?"

"Well, education is certainly important for a young man, but given Connor's propensities… Wait, you knew Buffy was coming back?"

"I thought everyone did?" Didn't they?

"You also might have mentioned that earlier." He gives me a pointed look.

"I did! I said she'd be back!" I remind him. "Besides, what difference does it make who all she told?" I don't see the problem here.

"I don't suppose it does," He seems to consider that. "Except, perhaps, to William. You remember William, correct? The hysterical fellow sitting in your lobby who thinks the woman he's in love with abandoned him here? Who also happened to run into Drusilla this evening?"

"William thinks…?" I don't finish the question. It seems redundant.

"All he knows is the Buffy left for Sunnydale. Because that's all that I knew," He says, once again giving me a pointed look. "Even so, he's far from being unobservant, Angel. He would have noticed her absence if I hadn't told him."

I rub my face roughly and slightly louder than the intended growl of frustration slips out. Great. That certainly explains a lot of things.

"Damn it, Buffy," My closed fist connects with my desk a little harder than I intended as well. "She should have left him a note or something."

"Yes, well, be that as it may…"

"Pardon me for interrupting?" William's voice cuts in from the door to my office. "Might I have a word, Angel? When you have an opportunity, that is?"

"I have time now," I give Wes a look and hope he takes the hint.

"Yes, I, uh, was just going to go see how Connor is doing," Wes gives me an annoyed look as he walks out, closing the door behind him. It's not my fault his excuse was pretty lame.

"What's on your mind?" I ask William, indicating for him to take a seat in one of the chairs.

"I was wondering if I might ask a few, details, regarding some things?" He asks, hesitantly.

"Such as?"

"Your son, for one," He seems curious.

"Why not?" It wasn't what I was expecting, but isn't a horrible subject. Mostly. "What did you want to know?"

"He's human, yes?"

"Yeah…" Weird direction to go in.

"I'm afraid that my studies didn't offer a lot of information regarding vampires beyond some basic characteristics. Was his mother human?"

I'm beginning to wonder what's going on in his head at the moment.

"What're you getting at?"

"Nothing! Nothing, I just was curious how… well, how something deceased could beget a child?"

"They can't," My answer is tight.

"Then, he's not your son? That would explain…"

"Explain what?" My answer came out more threat than question. "What did he tell you?"

"Not much really. Just that he was raised by someone else in a hell dimension," He answers. "I initially thought perhaps that he was also a creature of the night, such as yourself, but he corrected that thought quickly."

How much do I tell him? Maybe a little distraction wouldn't hurt. Besides, maybe that's what he's really looking for.

"Connor's mother was also a vampire. My sire, Darla. Normally most vampires can't have children. Connor was special. There was a prophecy. We're still not entirely sure what all that means for either him or us."

"Oh," He seems lost in thought for a minute. "You're sire, the vampiress who created you, was his mother?"

If I had a camera, I'd capture the look on his face right now.

"Then again, I haven't much ability to cast stones, have I? Having devoted myself to my own sire for over a hundred years."

I have to give him credit. He's adaptive. Then again, he always has been, hasn't he?

"Vampire families aren't like human ones." I clarify. "We also don't have a conscience or worry about human norms." I shrug.

"Oh, well, of course! That makes perfect sense." He frowns for a few seconds and I wonder what he's thinking now.

"The boy? Connor? He… didn't receive any proper schooling?" He seems oddly concerned.

"I haven't been to Quor-toth, but I doubt hell dimensions have many schools for humans."

"No, I suppose they wouldn't, would they?" He answers a little sheepishly. "But since he's been back?"

"Well, you and him have been in 2002 for about the same amount of time if I'm not mistaken." He's almost as annoying as Wes sometimes.

"Oh, really? Quite.. quite, right. Not much time for proper schooling then, is it?" He stammers out.

"I've thought about it." I have. A lot when I was at the bottom of the ocean, actually. Then something he said earlier pops back up in my mind. "Wait, you said earlier that him not being my son would explain a lot. What did you mean by that?"

"What? Oh… just, he seems as if he's rather… well, lost. As if he's forsaken everything which gives one's life meaning and purpose. If he'd been an orphan, I thought perhaps that would explain his dour outlook upon his life."

I can't help but stare at William. Incredibly, infuriatingly, intuitive William. How did Buffy not realize that Spike is just an extension of William? An uninhibited, soulless, version of William, but still William. Because I did my damndest to make sure she thought that way. That's what Giles told her, and I certainly didn't contradict it. Angelus has all my memories, he's right here with me all day every day. The soul, well, getting it stuffed back in you is pretty disorienting, but once that passes…

"Connor was kidnapped as a baby. A man named Holtz who raised him to fulfill exactly one purpose… to kill me. It didn't work out exactly as he planned, but not much better either. Connor's a good kid. He's just been lied to his whole life, and now he's trying to make sense of everything. He'll come around."

"My goodness, I'm… I'm terribly sorry. That must've been… I can't even imagine. Losing one's child for so long, only to have them returned in such a condition… it sounds quite dreadful." William apologizes. Add empathetic to the list of annoying Spike traits.

"It was. I never thought I'd have children. Hated kids, in fact. Couldn't stand my own father, either. Then when Darla turned me… well, I never thought about it again. Had a lot of other ideas to fill my time."

"I thought about it quite a lot," His voice is soft but certain. "Adding a proper young lady to our household," He was beginning to sound wistful. "Giving mother several grandchildren to warm her heart and keep her spirits young. Fine young sons to carry on the title, and dainty little girls to dote upon even if I shouldn't. I suppose, I too simply forgot once I became a creature of the night."

Oh, William, you really didn't.

"I'm not sure you did. Just not in the way you think." The words are out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop them.

"Whatever do you mean?" He asks, confused.

"Drusilla, well, she's insane. She can be very childlike one send, and then normal the next. Taking care of her was like being responsible for a five-year-old half the time, and a twenty-year-old the other half."

I look over and see William's looking pretty pale and realize Dru's probably not a good subject at the moment.

"What other questions did you have?" I ask him.

It takes him a moment to shift gears.

"What else what I like? As a vampire?" He asks. Not so much with shifting gears then. Just detouring around Dru.

"You sure you really want to know?" I ask him.

"Not really, no. But if I'm going to become one again, I might as well know."

"I won't let that happen," I lean forward and make sure he understands I mean it. "Neither will Buffy."

He doesn't say anything for a minute, but there's a brief smile and then it's gone in an instant.

"I think she'd quite prefer the opposite." He whispers.

"Look, William, she had to take Dawn back for some school thing in the morning. She'll be back tomorrow morning."

For some reason, that makes him frown instead of cheering him up like I hoped it would.

"I don't think I have that long," He answers, almost off-handed, eyes focused on something distant. Something about it sends up warning signals.

"Why? Was it something Dru said?" I ask him, though he doesn't respond. I'm not even sure he heard me. "William!"

"What? Oh! Terribly sorry. What?"

"What did Dru say that makes you think that?" I say slowly, as if to a child.

"She, uh, she said that the sun had gone over the horizon and wouldn't return until the morning next. And then she said that I should cast away the sun and beg her to kiss away the wounds it makes. At the time, I thought she was being literal…"

"In her mind, she probably was," I answer him. This isn't good. I've never been good at interpreting Dru's ramblings, but this isn't exactly difficult. "She knows Buffy's gone, and when she's coming back. She is planning to turn you."

"I may not be the quickest study," He rolls his eyes. "But even I understood that."

"You always were better at figuring out whatever she was carrying on about," I smile.

"So, will you tell me? What I was like?" He asks, earnest and sincere.

"William…" I'm thinking that's really not a good idea.

"Whatever you know. I… Everyone seems to have a different opinion, and I can't… I can't quite reconcile all the pieces, you see?"

"What do you mean?" I wonder how many people he's asked?

"Well, it's all so bloody mixed up, isn't it?" William suddenly stood and started pacing back and forth across the room. "On one hand, I'm helping defeating a hell god and protecting Miss Dawn after Buffy died. On the other, I'm constantly trying to kill Buffy or her friends. But I'm fighting demons and other vampires because Buffy's gone. I want to take care of children, but I hunted a child hiding in a coal box. I hunted slayers, but I wouldn't kill Buffy and grieved her passing. I'm evil, but I suffered torture for her sake, without any hope of reward. I've slaughtered half the continent, but I save people. I'm educated, but conceal it. Apparently even my accent and speech were different. I was still myself, but I'm not myself, I'm a demon that looks like me. Vampires can't love, but I was in love with Drusilla and then Buffy. It's all so bloody contradictory. And what's with these vengeance demoness? Apparently they've altered the course of my life not once but twice!"

He's still pacing, and I really have to wonder why anyone ever thought William isn't Spike. This is him through and through. Wait…

"Wait, what? Vampires can't love? Who told you that?" I ask him, wondering what dimwit said that load of crap to him.

"Don't recall offhand," He waves a hand in dismissal.

"And what did you mean twice?" I ask. I only knew about Buffy's wish. Was there another?

"Well, that's the rather scandalous beginning of the whole thing, isn't it? Miss Cecily was apparently a vengeance demoness, and her rather callous rejection was what sent me into the street that night and right into that stable where this Drusilla found me and turned into a creature of the night. 'Terribly sorry,' she says, 'you're better off now though, aren't you? you should bloody well thank me!' she says."

"Wow… I, uh, I… didn't know that." I respond. "You ran into a vengeance demon that night?"

"Indeed. Apparently she was concealing her true nature, and worked her way into everyone's graces so she could commit some justice against someone at the club."

He's still pacing. Knowing him, he could probably do this for another couple of hours. But he's starting to make me dizzy. Like watching tennis.

"William?"

"Yes?" He answers, still pacing.

"Sit down," I tell him, a little forcefully.

"What?" He suddenly stops and looks at me.

"You're making me dizzy. Sit." I tell him.

"Oh. Oh, yes. Of course."

"Look, I'll tell you what I know, but I'm not going to give you a play by play rundown of everything you did."

"I… Alright." He nods affirmatively.

"So, here's the deal William. You were still you. But you no longer cared about morals, or laws, or social class. In fact, you chose to change your accent, my guess is that you wanted to do away with anything connected to who you were before. But that's just it. You can't get rid of yourself, William. You were still just as passionate, poetic, and lovesick. You'd just been freed from everything you kept under control as a human. No more repressed little William, afraid to offend, or do whatever he wanted. You wanted to fight, you started a brawl in a bar. You got bored, you incited a mob. You were always looking for something new and exciting. Which is why instead of being like most vampires and avoiding slayers, you sought them out. You took any risk you could find and nearly got us all staked or burned more times than I care to recall. And here's the real kicker… all of that's still there, William. It always was. The demon doesn't give you a new personality, it just removes the chains from the one you had. Now, you want my advice? It isn't the 1800's anymore. Forget about who you were, or who you think you were, or who everyone else says you were, and start being who you are."

Damn, that was a lot of talking. Maybe now he'll go off somewhere and pull it all apart and we can all get some sleep. Speaking of…

"You should get some sleep. It's been a rough couple of days. I'll fill in the others about Dru's plan."

He simply nods and stands to leave.

"One more thing…"

"Yes?" He pauses.

"I meant what I said. I won't let her turn you again. One of us will stay with you at all times until Buffy gets back."

He nods again. The troubled look on his face as he heads out has me concerned. Hopefully, he's just thinking about what I've said, and not dwelling on Dru's plan to turn him. Or Buffy. Of course, it's William though so chances are he's thinking about both.

I honestly don't know which one has the other more completely spun, William or Buffy. Now that I think about it, they are pretty similar in many ways. Complementary. They lead with their hearts and defend it with their fists.

I failed Buffy. I failed Darla ten times worse than Buffy. And Connor. Maybe, just maybe, I won't fail William. One can hope, right?