Chapter Eighteen
"That was cruel of you, Regulus."
Evelyn was biting her lip, which was slightly upturned, giving away her amusement, when he finally found her on the veranda. She didn't look at him as he approached, instead opting to look out over the heavily populated ice-rink that Narcissa had ordered for the event.
Regulus grinned, pleased with himself, glancing back over his shoulder in the direction of Severus. He and Lily Potter were no longer dancing but they were standing close together, alone, talking with ease and it was clear that Severus was enjoying her company. He shrugged, turning his attention back to Evelyn;
"What can I say? I can't help myself sometimes."
"Don't I know it."
There was a slight edge to her voice but her expression was impassive, not indicating any real irritation with him. Though she rarely did. He glanced down, contemplatively for a moment, before he stepped in beside her. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on top of the stone wall in front of them, so that he was lower that her, and then glanced up at her with an impish smile.
She glanced at him out the corner of her eye, her lip twitching slightly.
"You know you do pull off the brooding, mysterious lady very well."
She closed her eyes, smiling this time, and shook her head at his comment.
"Where is Malachi this evening?"
"With Draco Malfoy at the Manor."
"Overnight?"
"Yes."
Regulus nodded, continuing to look over her for a moment, before he turned his eyes out to the ice rink when she didn't meet his eyes. Christmas lights were suspended in the air above the rink, blue and white; sparkling as they seemed to descended and disappear as they fell. He looked back at Evelyn with a smile;
"I bet I can guess what you're thinking."
"Oh really? And what do you bet?"
"Only pride," he grinned, "Besides, I wouldn't want to take anything from you."
"Cocky, as always."
"Ah ah!" He held up a finger, to silence her, before he used the same finger to indicate in the direction of the rink, "You're thinking about our first date."
Her brow furrowed slightly, before she finally allowed her eyes to meet his. She raised an eyebrow; "Is that so?"
"Come on; you remember, don't you? Ice skating in Hyde Park, down in muggle London."
"Ah. Yes. Rings a bell, I suppose."
"You suppose?" Regulus repeated, with a scoff, "The most romantic night of your life!"
"Oh, I don't know about that."
He turned, this time leaning his forearms back against the structure, resting his back against the wall; "Christmas Eve, 1979."
She smiled at him.
"You were freezing. You had worn a dress; that blue one that I liked. With some tiny little cloak that wouldn't even satisfy a polar bear's need for warmth. I imagine you expected I would take you out to dinner."
"As a gentleman would in minus degrees."
"It was not in minuses," Regulus chuckled, "Besides; I offered you my cloak and scarf, didn't I?"
"And then almost froze to death yourself."
"Hardly. How could I freeze to death when I'm in your company; I get all warm and fuzzy inside."
She tittered, silently, glancing away from him.
"I bought you a hot chocolate at the cafe –"
"An outdoor portable stand."
"- And a piece of Christmas pudding –"
"Which was stale."
"Hey, you're ruining the romance of the memory, here!" He nudged her with his hip and she smiled; "And then you said; 'Oh, Regulus, it would be wonderful to go ice skating –"
"I said nothing of the sort –"
"- So I happily obliged –"
"It was you who had been so desperate to go ice skating. And I had reluctantly agreed."
"Was it?" He feigned thoughtfulness, "Ah! Aha! Yes, you're right! I was thinking it was I who had been stumbling and falling all over the rink, but that was you!"
"Oh, I'm delighted that you remember."
He laughed, looking at her affectionately; "I taught you how to skate."
"You taught me how to fall with grace."
"No. No; you weren't too bad by the time we left."
"I had bruises all over myself the next morning."
"Did you? I was not allowed the pleasure of a viewing."
"That you weren't," she cocked an eyebrow.
"You enjoyed the Ferris Wheel afterwards."
"I suppose I did."
"It was a perfect date."
"Well, a perfect reflection of the relationship that was to come," she looked at him, fully.
Regulus held her look, bravely, knowing she was making reference to the pain he had, and was still, putting her through. He reached for her hand, relieved when she didn't pull it away.
"Perhaps you would like to give it another go?"
Evelyn's brow furrowed once again and he grinned, allowing his eyes to glance in the direction of the ice rink once more. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, attempting to pull her hand back. But he held on tight and bounded upright, tugging her towards the steps; "Come on, you'll love it."
"Regulus –"
"Just like old times." He hurried towards the rink with boyish excitement, Evelyn's hand held tightly in his, as he pulled her along behind him.
"You should have been in bed hours ago," Sirius remarked, disapprovingly, as he ushered his Godson up the stairs.
"I wanted to wait for Mum," Harry stated, looking back at him, innocently, "Uncle Remus said it was okay."
"Well, that was daft of him to say. It's almost half past ten," Sirius replied, looking at him sternly, "And your mum won't be home for a long time yet."
"How come you're so mad?" Harry asked, frowningly, turning to face him fully as they reached the top of the stairs. Sirius sighed, guiltily, at the confusion in the boy's eyes before he reached over and ruffled his hair, the way his father used to do to him.
"I'm not mad," he stated, taking Harry's hand and leading him into his room, "I'm just tired. I'll be going to bed soon as well."
"Why did you send Uncle Remus home? Mum said he could stay."
Sirius almost blanched at the idea of having to spend hours in Remus' company without Harry there to occupy their attention; "Because there's no need. I'm home now."
"How come you and Uncle Remus don't like each other?"
Sirius hooked his hands underneath Harry's arms, swinging him upwards and letting him fall backwards onto the bed. Harry laughed, struggling into a sitting position.
"We do like each other."
Harry frowned, "No you don't. You hate each other."
"Hey, that's not true." Sirius sat down on the bed, as Harry began tugging off his socks.
"You shout at each other. You get really mad. Even worse than you do with mum."
"No that...that doesn't mean we don't like each other, Harry," Sirius attempted to explain, "We just don't always agree. The same as me and your mum sometimes; and you know I care about your mum. That's just how it is sometimes, with grownups. They argue."
"You don't have to lie. I'm not a baby. I don't like some people at school either."
"Uncle Remus and I...we have a complicated relationship, that's all." Sirius wasn't sure how to put the situation into the proper context for a six year old; "It's like...it would be like. I don't know...If someone at school was being horrible to one of your friends, maybe saying something that wasn't true. And then, you believed them."
"Was Uncle Remus horrible to you?" Harry pulled his t-shirt over his head.
"No," Sirius replied, shaking his head, as he handed Harry's pyjama top to him, "No. Someone else said something about him. Something that wasn't true. And then I believed them for a little while."
"Why did you believe them? Wasn't Uncle Remus your friend?" He pulled the top over his head, making a mess of his hair in the process; making himself look like James.
Sirius hesitated, looking over his Godson, the one person who could truly make him feel ashamed of anything he ever did and was humbled by the disapproving look in the boy's eyes.
"Yes he was. That's why he was upset with me."
"Is he still upset now? When did it happen?"
"It happened a long time ago. Sometimes it takes time for people to become friends again."
"So, you will be friends again?" Harry looked hopeful.
Sirius considered it for a moment, not entirely sure if they would. Maybe too much had happened now; too much water under the bridge. But he couldn't explain that to Harry; how could a six year old possibly understand the hostility between two people he loved?
"I think so, Harry. In time."
Harry smiled, looking relieved; "Good."
"Good, eh?" Sirius grinned, grabbing the edge of the duvet and roughly tugging it out from beneath the boy, causing him to tumble backwards from his sitting position so he was flat on his back. Harry laughed and nodded;
"Uh huh. I think Uncle Remus will come and live with us soon," he stated, as Sirius tucked the covers around him, "So it's good that you'll be friends again."
Sirius shook his head; "No, Harry. I don't think so. Uncle Remus is happy where he is."
"But soon he'll want to be closer to Mum."
Sirius looked at him with a frown, confused at the statement; "Close to your mum?"
Harry grinned, looking pleased that he seemed to know something that he didn't. Sirius tilted his head, regarding him carefully;
"What are you up to?"
Harry giggled, cheekily; "Nothing. It's them that are up to stuff."
Sirius was beginning to feel uneasy; surely not?
"Just tell me, Harry."
Harry grinned; "I saw them; Mum and Uncle Remus. They were kissing."
The room fell deafly silent for a moment.
"They what?"
"Stay with me tonight."
Regulus' felt his hopes die away when Evelyn turned her face away from him, looking up at the stairs above them. After an hour of spinning around the ice rink, the two had snuck away from the curious eyes of his employees and laid down in the grass on the far side of the maze, relieved to find no one else had had the same idea.
"You see, I managed to teach you something on that first date." He rolled onto his side, leaning his elbow on the ground and supporting his head in his hand, so that he looked down on her.
She smiled, shaking her head; "Actually, I take Malachi ice skating quite frequently. It is not new to me."
"Oh."
"He misses you."
"He stayed with me last week."
"It's not the same."
No, it wasn't. It wasn't nearly enough. And he remembered how eager he had been for Evelyn to come and retrieve him after only the first day; when he had thought he had actually lost his son. Every moment he spent with him he was only further reminded of what a terrible father he was; what a terrible father his own father had been; and then thoughts would drift to other fathers, fathers he hadn't really known, who had been killed during the war. Some of them at his own hand.
He pushed those thoughts away.
Evelyn tucked a hand behind her head, pointing with the other; "Orion's belt. You pointed that out to me."
He glanced up at it, nodding; "Yep. The plough as well," he pointed upwards, in its direction, "And, from Orion's foot, look, there's Eridanus."
She smiled and nodded, keeping her eyes on them; "I remember."
Regulus preferred to remember Hyde Park than looking at the stars with her. Because of the Blacks' fascination with the constellations and planets of outer space, he had picked up on star gazing quickly. Almost as quickly as he had realised how romantic girls happened to find it; and the ritual was often the starting point for meaningless sexual excursions when he was younger. In Hogwarts, mostly; however Evelyn had not escaped the test. Though he hadn't tried it on anyone else since.
"I miss him too," he stated, with reference to her earlier comment about their son; "Every time I see him there's something new. Something I didn't know."
She didn't answer, though he had a fair idea what she was thinking. That he had only himself to blame for that. That he could change that with simply a word.
"And I miss you," he added, quietly.
She closed her eyes, sighing quietly, before she opened them and met his eyes; "So come home."
Come home. It was that simple.
But it wasn't. He had tried.
He glanced down and she looked away, aware of his answer.
"You can't keep holding on to it, you know. One day you're going to have to let go."
He pressed a kiss to her shoulder and stretched out the arm that was supporting him so it curled on the grass above her head, laying down next to her.
"I don't want to hold onto it. You don't understand, Evie."
She met his eyes, shaking her head; "You're right. I don't. We have a son, Regulus, a beautiful, perfect son. And he loves you so much. And I love you so much. What else do you want?"
But it had nothing to do with them, what he felt. And their love wasn't ever enough to help him shake it. Severus helped sometimes; being around him, knowing that he must feel the same, at least a little, even if he didn't let it show. Evelyn was innocent, pure; she had no idea what it felt like; the guilt, the shame. The feeling that you just couldn't live with yourself.
How could she ever know? How could she ever understand?
"I love you, too." He offered, instead.
She held his look, evenly, not warming at the statement; "One day you're going to wake up and you're going to realise you've waited too long."
"Evie," he whispered, pressing another kiss to her shoulder; "Evie, I love you," he repeated, quietly.
She shook her head; "What do you want me to do?"
He pushed himself back up, leaning on his arm to look down at her, stroking her arm; "Nothing."
"Nothing," she repeated, quietly.
He stroked the side of her face with the back on his finger; "I don't deserve you."
"Once upon a time, you did."
"No. I was worse back then."
"Really? I didn't think you were all that bad." She rolled onto her side, pushing herself up so that they were facing one another.
He gave her a small smile and shrugged; "I didn't know any better."
"Well, we were still young. Children, even."
"Look at us now." He smiled, leaning forward and nudging her nose with his playfully, eliciting a smile from her.
"Yes, look at us." She raised an eyebrow, still smiling as she did so.
He sighed, reaching up to cup her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She leaned in, pressing a kiss to his lips, and he responded leisurely, deeply. He touched his forehead to hers when they pulled away;
"Stay with me tonight," he repeated his earlier request.
And, this time, she smiled.
"Shall we have our fortunes told?"
Lily's tone was teasing but Severus could tell from the slight widening of her eyes that she actually was interested in what the prophet had to say, as they glanced in the direction of the room where people were lining up to hear their fates.
Severus rolled his eyes, derisively; "Why ruin the joy of experiencing life as it comes?" He deadpanned.
Lily tore her eyes from the room, looking at him with a grin; "Surely you are interested."
"Interested? Like I said, why not wait and be surprised? Besides, such things are nonsense. Fortunes are not told on a whim."
"Have a lot of experience with fortunes and prophecies, do you?"
Severus glanced away from her, at the dance floor, out the window; anywhere but her eyes.
"Ah, so you are not so much of a sceptic," she declared, with a grin, looking back in the direction; "Besides, even if what the prophet says isn't true; it's nice to be offered some hope."
"And what if the prophet doesn't offer hope? It is just as likely that the scoundrel will reveal some terrible tale about the troubles and hardships due to occur; and then you spend the rest of your life, or until they are proven wrong, mindlessly worrying if and when the event is going to occur. It is pointless."
"Had a bad experience with a fortune teller, Severus?" She turned her attention back to him with a smile.
"Perhaps."
"Ah, once bitten, is it?"
"I just do not wish to pander to the likes of such people. They are taking advantage of people's hopes, desires, even their troubles by offering to predict something which cannot truly be predicted."
"Oh, it's all just a bit of fun, Severus," she rolled her eyes before she tugged on his sleeve, both startling him and indicating for him to follow, and then turned and began making her way in the direction of the room. Severus rolled his eyes and followed.
"You are not truly going to fall for this, are you?"
"I'm not 'falling for' anything. It's just for fun; besides, it would be ashame not to experience it when the Foundation has went to the trouble of providing the activity."
"Believe me, the Foundation will cope. As you see, there was plenty of activities provided for our amusement and each guest is not expected to partake in each and every one of them. It is a matter of personal taste."
"Exactly."
"Still caught up in all this nonsense, even after ten years have passed," he muttered to himself.
She glanced at him, sharply, with a grin; "So you remember the fayre?"
"Yes, of course. I remember everything about us."
He almost cringed at how the statement sounded, but Lily seemed pleased and smiled brighter, as they joined the end of the line.
"I also remember that the fortune teller promised a great amount of doom and gloom; and you spent the next fortnight miserable as you contemplated what could he could have possibly been referring to."
"And now I have a whole collection of incidents that it could have been to choose from!" she announced, with false cheerfulness, for the first time making a reference to all the troubles she had faced since they had been friends; "You see; they do speak the truth."
"But that does not support your earlier statement," he countered; "They do not always offer hope."
"I assume you do not intend to have your future told?" she said, raising an eyebrow.
"That is correct. Like I said, I do not pander to these crooks."
"Crooks?" she repeated, chuckling, before she shook her head and stepped forward as the queue moved.
"Exactly, Lily. Crooks. I have seen true –"
He broke off, suddenly feeling hot all over.
Lily looked at him curiously, completely oblivious to his discomfort and the reason for it; "You've seen...?"
Severus sighed and waved an unconvincing, dismissive hand; "It matters not." They stepped forward, reaching the front of the queue; the door to the room closed in front of them.
"Perhaps you would like to accompany me and observe my future being told? It may encourage you to take the risk of learning your own," she said, smiling cheekily at him. He glanced at her, holding her look.
"I believe that such things are private."
Lily chuckled, "It's fortune telling, not a strip tease."
Severus closed his eyes, forcing away some rather pleasing and inappropriate images that had come to mind at the statement, reaching up and rubbing the back on his neck, embarrassed by his thoughts; "I would not want my aura to interfere with your reading."
She giggled, smiling up at him, "I don't think that's how it works."
"Oh you don't? Is it a force indiscernible to those without the 'inner eye'? Or is it simply the lines of your palms that reveal the truth?"
"Hmm."
She took his hand in hers and he felt his heart and stomach leap at the contact. She turned his hand over in hers, with a mock frown as she pretended to observe and read what she was seeing. She trailed the index finger of her free hand down his life line, sticking out her tongue at the side of her mouth for dramatic effect, and he found his breathing quicken slightly at the contact.
"Why, yes Mr – sorry, Professor – Snape; I see...I see great promise in your future –"
"Great promise? Ah; because that is not vague at all."
She lifted the finger that had been trailing down his palm with a grin; "I need silence for my reading, Sir."
"Oh, I do apologise." He smirked and rolled his eyes.
"Yes...yes, a long life," she went on, theatrically, "A happy life –"
"You see, now I know that you are a fraud."
She lifted her eyes to his with a small smile; "What, you don't expect to have a long, happy life?" she asked, innocently, dropping her act.
Severus pulled his hand from hers; "I try not to expect anything, Lily."
"Pessimist."
"Idealist."
"Well, I try."
"Your optimism is going to land you in trouble one day. Tell me, what will be the aftermath of things not turning out your way?"
Lily looked more affected than he had intended by the statement and he immediately felt guilt as she quickly averted her eyes.
Severus frowned, noticing that she seemed upset.
"I...I didn't mean –"
She looked at him and gave him one of her forced smiles, shaking her head.
"No. Don't worry," she shrugged, "Just one of my many issues, I suppose."
"I –"
The door opened in front of them, drawing their attention, and the person who was in previously, Rowan Ellison stepped out. She smiled at them, nodding her head in acknowledgement and interest, before she walked by them and back to the party.
Lily peered into the room, before glancing at him expectantly, "Last chance?"
He raised an eyebrow, indicating for her to enter, "I shall wait."
She looked pleasantly surprised at the statement and he found himself confused, wondering why he had bothered offering.
Why not just go and return to the party? Find someone else he knew?
But he couldn't retract the offer now and, anyway, she was now making her way into the room and the door was closing in his face.
He stepped out of the queue, walking a few steps to stand by the wall at the other side of the door.
"Aha, Severus!"
He glanced around quickly and then relaxed when he saw Eugene Hopkins approaching.
"Eugene."
"Enjoying your time with Mrs Potter?" Eugene asked, eyes sparkling but there was obvious interest in his tone, as there had been in everyone else's expressions that night.
At least the man had the decency to lower his volume, Severus found himself thinking.
"I suppose. She is reasonable company."
"Reasonable?" Eugene chuckled, "I'd say she's far more than that."
"Has Regulus said something to you?"
"Oh no, my dear boy. Regulus is currently occupied with feminine company of his own."
Severus rolled his eyes, "Dare I ask?"
"Lovely girl. Miss Evelyn Redway, from my introductions this evening."
Severus smiled slightly in satisfaction.
"Yes. She is a lovely girl. Very suitable for him."
"Ah, but young."
"Not so young."
Severus considered it for a moment. Twenty-three, if Severus had it right.
"So, tell me, have you been making progress?" Eugene asked, eyes twinkling.
Severus glared at him, becoming irritated.
"I assure you, that is not my intention. Mrs Potter and I are old friends."
"Old friends, eh? Is this where your endorsement came from?" Eugene looked curious and Severus found himself become irritated at the suggestion of nepotism. Even if, actually, it was.
"It was a long time ago. We were not in contact prior to her joining us here."
"I see."
"As you have seen, she is quite a capable addition. There is no need for concern."
"Oh, I was not concerned, Severus," Eugene smiled, "Merely curious. I know you to be an excellent judge of character."
At that moment the door opened and Lily stepped out from the room, looking shaken.
Severus looked at her with concern and she started when she came face to face with Eugene, "Healer Hopkins."
"Mrs Potter," he greeted her with a wide smile; "How are you this evening?"
She shook her head, looking distracted.
"Fine. I'm fine," she glanced in the direction of the doors to the veranda, "Just need some fresh air, I think."
Eugene stepped aside with a smile, "Please, don't allow me to get in your way, Mrs Potter."
Lily smiled and glanced in Severus' direction a moment with an indiscernible expression, before she made her way towards the doors.
Severus watched after her for a moment, before he addressed the man before him.
"Excuse me, Eugene."
He glanced around him, attempting to make his way after her as discreetly as possible.
Severus found her sitting down on one of the benches on the veranda, fingering her wedding ring.
He hesitated, her actions making her thoughts perfectly clear to him and James Potter was certainly not a topic he ever wanted to have to discuss with her. He made to step away when she lifted her head, looking quickly in his direction.
Severus paused for a moment, uncertainly, before he regained his composure and walked over, taking a seat next to her.
"If you say 'I told you so'..." she broke off, rolling her eyes, and looked away.
"As I said, they are frauds. They know nothing about the future. They only prey on what it obvious to them. And do not forget that they have probably discovered information about you prior to you seeing them."
Lily gave a small, unconvincing smile.
"She said that the worst was yet to come. That there was great...turmoil in my future."
Lily glanced at him.
"It doesn't make any sense. How could there be worse things still to happen?"
Severus hesitated, not sure how to answer. In his experience, things could always get worse.
"It is all simple drivel, Lily. Not to be taken seriously."
"She knew things about me –"
"There are many who know things about you. About your situation."
She sighed and shrugged.
"I suppose that's true."
Severus watched her with concern, not entirely sure what he ought to say.
He knew very little of her personal circumstances, really, as such he knew even less about what the prophet could have targeted.
There was James Potter, of course. A circumstance the entire Wizarding World was privy to. And a subject, still, he was unwilling to broach, so he tried for distraction as a method of comfort, instead.
"Would you like to go for a walk?" he offered, glancing out towards the maze, remembering where they had reconciled previously.
Lily rubbed her arms, which were bare, and shook her head, "Hmm...no. It's cold."
"Then…perhaps you would like to return to the party?"
Lily glanced at him, meeting his eyes, and she just looked at him for a moment, really looked at him, as if she were learning something and he found himself blushing – to his mortification – and he averted his eyes.
Lily smiled warmly.
"Yes. Okay."
She nodded and stood, waiting for him to do the same.
Severus got to his feet and, touching a hand to her lower back, guided her back indoors.