Chapter 35

The silence that followed her confession was so heavy that she felt her knees almost give up on her. Despite said feeling, she forced herself to remain tall and standing, displaying fortitude that she was not quite sure she truly possessed. The lingering pause took her back in time to that crucial moment in the courtroom, when she had purposely given the wrong answer to a large group of important people – which had effectively set her and Samantha down the path that led to today. A path that had led to this moment: a moment where she now had to face the consequences of a lifetime of lying about one particularly important aspect of her past. Consequences, she knew, that would be her fault and hers alone.

The truth was: she had lied to herself and others long enough. It was time, finally time, to face the music once and for all, no matter what the cost would be for her. What may have started as an innocent yet botched attempt at correctly choosing between two evils had spiraled into her becoming the main villain of her own story… or, at least, that is how she knew her sister saw the whole matter.

And that did not account for how everyone else close to her would see her once they learned the truth – including the genius billionaire standing before her.

The redhead sighed deeply before lifting her head to lock eyes with the blue-eyed boy. He wore a look on his face that gave nothing away, even as the aftermath of her confession dragged on for another long minute. He was yet to make a sound or make a move, which was turning out to be worse than being at the receiving end of the expected barrage of painful words and accusations that she had prepared herself for.

For the shortest nanosecond in history, Pepper wished someone would have warned her that receiving no reaction from someone you love after hearing disappointing news was more agonizing than hearing from them a million and a half hurtful words.

Nevertheless, she waited. And waited. And then waited some more. Still, there were no cruel words coming from the inventor. No finger-pointing. No shouting. No sign of disappointment or anger, or anything in between. There was practically no acknowledgement whatsoever of her presence from him. None, at all. It felt, in fact, as if he had simply forgotten she even existed.

The brunette, however, was not one to let the opportunity pass. Samantha, as expected, had a completely different response to the redhead's overdue confession.

"Told you she had been in the wrong," the young girl said, her demeanor clearly conveying that she had been waiting for this moment perhaps even longer than Pepper had. "Now you believe me? Now you see how selfish she is? How selfish she's always been?"

Selfish, Pepper bit down tongue before her gut reaction prompted her to try to defend herself when she had no right to do so. Samantha was right, and selfish was one word that currently applied to her. She could think of a few more that were much worse, in fact.

Pepper opened her mouth to begin offering apologies that she knew would fall on deaf ears, but a different voice made her bite down her tongue yet again.

"Stark International," the inventor finally spoke, his tone as neutral as she had ever heard from him; even more so than before they had known each other closely. She was not granted enough time to dwell on what his tone could have meant, however, as she felt her heart skip a beat when she noticed that he was slowly walking in reverse, away from them, clearly aiming to stand on the edge of the roof.

For the quickest of moments, the redhead was filled with confusion and fear at the inventor's actions until she heard the familiar sound of his armored suit approaching them.

He was not planning on staying.

He did not want to be part of what was to come.

She did not blame him or resent him for it one bit.

"When this talk is over between you two, I'll be there, on the roof, if you still wanna talk."

"Me? You're inviting me to your place?" Samantha asked, a lone finger pointed towards her chest, even though Tony had been staring directly at Pepper as he had spoken.

Tony slowly shook his head but did not face the brunette as he did so; his eyes never dropped from the gingers' gaze.

"No. Not you."

"Tony?" Pepper's voice broke.

"Stark International," the genius reiterated, still in an unreadable tone of voice, before the suit engulfed him and he disappeared in a flash of gold and red.

Pepper was not sure what to make of his invitation, but she did not get a moment to consider it either as Samantha brought her back to the harsh reality by slapping her hard on the cheek.

The ginger felt and heard the bones in her neck crack with the intensity of the recoil, but she did not fight back.

"You have NO idea how long I've been waiting to do that! That and so much more!"

"I have an idea," the redhead said, her left hand on her left cheek, the sting of the slap already burning her skin.

"No, you don't, Peppy," Sam enunciated her old nickname for her sister in a mocking tone.

"Then why don't you tell me?"

Samantha rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air. "Even if I told you, how would you even understand what I went through when you don't know suffering and loss like I do? You've gotten EVERYTHING you've ever wanted, even if that meant shoving me away as if I were trash!"

"You know that's not what I had intended to happen."

"Maybe not, but you sure as heck didn't try to stop it afterwards, either."

"I know," Pepper's gaze fell, physically and verbally admitting that she never tried to undo the damage she had caused, even after she had become of age and had fully understood what she had caused. "And I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

Samantha narrowed her eyes at the redhead. "Too little, too late, sis. You let me live with it alone for twelve more years. Twelve YEARS! You got out in six!"

"I know. I know that. And I know can't change it. I can't fix it now. Or ever. And I won't try because I know there is nothing I can do to make it better. But you know, you're a bit wrong there. Even after all that, I didn't get everything I wanted, either. Neither of us did."

"Oh, you didn't?" Samantha scoffed. "Really? What exactly did you not get? A loving father? Friends? Good schools? A famous boyfriend? Hero status? What is missing from your perfect and spoiled life?"

"What do you think?" Pepper shrugged. "The same thing you didn't get: a normal mom. My sister around when growing up. A normal family that didn't have to run away in shame from home and start over elsewhere where people would see me as just a girl they'd like to meet, and not the poor girl that got abused by her mom."

"And now… NOW that we both have detention and you're finally talking to me again, you only do it to accuse me of something I didn't do! Besides, I didn't want people to talk to me or assume things of me just because I'm Pepper's sister. I wanted people to take interest in me because of who I am, and not because of who I know. I wanted people to like me because I am me: Samantha, and not from extrapolations or hypothesis based on my relationship with Pepper. I didn't want people to try to get to know me only because I'm Rescue's younger sister. That was all there was to it. I wasn't trying to hide or lie. I just wanted a fair chance to make friends. I know it sounds really stupid to you, but I don't expect someone like you to understand this at all. I mean: you're Tony Stark. You're practically a household name."

Samantha paused for a second, unable to deny the ginger's points while also realizing that she understood where Pepper was coming from at trying to distance herself from the bad memories. She herself had told Tony Stark that much upon meeting him: she had wanted to be her own person, and not just Pepper Potts' shadow.

Nevertheless, Samantha's unspoken agreement did not last for long. She had not been planning and waiting too long for her time to finally get back at her sister to give up so easily.

"It doesn't matter. You still got it better than me because you got dad. He never abused you, did he?"

"You know he would never do that," Pepper replied before taking in a deep breath to prepare herself for the answer to her next inquiry. It was, after all, the whole reason why Pepper had lied on that stand: the hope and belief that her mother would never hurt her little sister like she had hurt her. If she had been wrong about that… if she had truly left behind her sister to sustain twelve years of physical abuse and torture… Pepper was not sure she would ever overcome the guilt of that.

"Sam, did… did mom… did she ever…"

"Hurt me?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think?"

Pepper felt tears begin to form. "I really thought she'd never touch you."

Sam scoffed again and swallowed down a lump in her throat. "That's the thing you don't understand. She never did. And she never had to."

"What?"

The brunette chuckled derisively. "To be honest, I wish she'd hit me instead."

"Instead of what?"

"Instead of me hearing, every day of my life, how much she didn't want me. How much she hated me. How much better you were than I'll ever be. How she wished it had been you who stayed and me who went. How she… how she wished I'd never made it out of the newborn ICU."

Pepper felt new tears form for her sister. For the tiny child that had been born prematurely and had almost not made it. For that baby that had spent their development years watching their mother abuse her sister, and who had then been at the receiving end of verbal abuse for the rest of her life thus far from the one person that was supposed to love her unconditionally.

She cried for the tiny human that she had abandoned just so that their monster of a mother was not alone.

"She said that? She actually said that to you?"

Samantha nodded, tears suddenly clouding her vision, but she then cleared her throat and shook herself back onto offensive mode.

"But why do you even care now? You got the best end of the deal. You left me there with her even though you knew how she was. You LIED to people so that I wouldn't come with you. You said… you PROMISED you'd never leave me with her!"

"I know."

"But you still did! To save yourself. You sacrificed me for your happiness!"

"I know."

"STOP SAYING THAT!"

"I-I don't know what else to say, Sam. I messed up. I messed up so much. I can't fix it. I… what do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to not be so happy! I want you to suffer like I did. You don't deserve any happiness, ever! You deserve to be as miserable as you made me!"

"I am. I will be. I'll always remember what I did to you."

"That's not enough!"

"Then what is?"

"You… you-you… you should die!"

Before Pepper could react, Samantha pulled out a small knife from under her clothes – something she had learned to carry with herself at all times in case her mother one day did try to attack her – and aimed it at Pepper's neck; the tip of the blade pressed against her throat. It was not deep enough to draw blood, but it was enough to know it was there. The ginger did not move a muscle, but her stillness was not out of fear – she knew that she could get her armor here at any time to help her out. Her lack of defense was due to her guilt and her guilt alone.

"You ruined my life," the brunette continued, this time not hiding her tears. "You had the chance to get us both out of there and you just saved yourself!"

Instead of responding, Pepper's tears increased, which only seemed to fuel Samantha's anger.

"Why are you even crying? You have nothing to cry about!"

"I'm not crying for myself."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm crying for you."

"I don't need your sympathy."

"I know you don't need it because you're a lot stronger than I am. I only lasted six years… you stayed for sixteen. You have more guts than I do. But you still didn't have to live like that."

"No, I didn't. But you—"

"I left you there. It's my fault. All of it."

"And should pay for it!"

"I should."

"Why are you agreeing with me?!"

"Because you're right."

"I don't… why… why aren't you fighting back?" Samantha pressed the tip harder onto Pepper's skin.

"Because I have no right to."

"But I could kill you right now. Aren't you afraid?"

"I know you can. And I am. I'm afraid of dying. Everyone is."

"Then why don't you try to stop me? I don't understand."

"Because I deserve it. I… I can't do anything else. I can't give you back what you lost all this time. I don't know how to make it better. I… I don't know what else I should do. I don't think there is anything I can say or do that would make it OK for you. There isn't anything else for me to do or say, is there?"

"So, you're just gonna stand there and let me hurt you? You aren't gonna do anything about it? Why?!"

"Because, Sam," Pepper sniffled and gulped, "Whatever I do, after everything I did to you already, it'll always be the wrong thing."

The wrong thing.

Suddenly, after those words were spoken into existence in her presence yet again, the world seemed to stop.

The wrong thing, Samantha's mind repeated as her eyes grew wide in alarming realization; a slow epiphany that began unleashing a cascade of conflicting emotions within her that would stop at nothing to be released.

Always be the wrong thing, her ears echoed once more as she took a step back, away from the redhead, and then stared in disbelief at the knife in her hand as if it were the first time she saw it there.

The wrong thing, Samantha gasped and dropped the knife.

No.

The wrong thing, she repeated internally as she began hyperventilating.

Stop it.

"Always be the wrong thing."

Don't, her mind pleaded with itself. Please don't!

"Samantha?" the brunette closed her eyes at hearing her mother's voice before she covered her ears with her palms. "Samantha Potts!"

No!

"Samantha!"

NO!

"Samantha," Ellen Potts screamed at the top of her lungs at her daughter. "Samantha Potts, get over here right now!"

"Yes, Mama," the eight-year-old replied, almost in a whisper, as she slowly approached her visible angry mother. The child was not sure what had set off her mother today, but she was almost certain it was not something she had done. She had been home all-day doing homework, in fact. Just as her mother had demanded of her.

"Do you care to explain yourself? What were you thinking?"

"Uhm… I…" Samantha gulped, not understanding what the inquiry was about. "I don't… I don't know what you mean, Mama."

Ellen breathed hard through her nose in exasperation and pulled a crumpled paper from her purse – something she had picked up during the impromptu parent/teacher conference she had been called upon. She then proceeded to throw said paper at the girl's feet and tapped her left foot impatiently as she waited for Samantha to grab the sheet and straighten it out enough to be readable. The youngster stared at what she now realized was her science homework of a few weeks ago, but she failed to understand why it had angered her mother.

"Well?" Ellen asked.

"Uhm… my homework. I… got an A, Mama."

"I don't give a crap about the grade, Samantha! Why did you think it was OK to do this? Why didn't you clear it with me first?"

"But, Mama," the child felt her eyes begin to water even though she was not sure why she was being scolded so harshly. "The teacher said to draw our family tree. I had to add Papa and Peppy to it."

"No. You didn't! Why would you add someone that isn't your family? Your father abandoned us, and your sister did, too."

"Peppy didn't abandon us!"

"Dear God, you're so stupid, Samantha! So, so stupid! Why am I stuck with the stupid one? I should've gotten Pepper, not you!"

"But… Mama, I got an A… I'm not stupid."

"I told you that I don't care about the grade. And yes, you're still stupid, thinking your father and sister didn't abandon us. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're not my kid. I could never have such a dumb child for a daughter. Pepper is so much smarter than you!"

"Peppy would have drawn me and you too, Mama. I did the same thing Peppy would have done."

"NO, YOU DUMB CHILD! You and Pepper are nothing alike! NOTHING. She is the daughter I always wanted and you're an accident I wasn't allowed to get rid of. If you were smart, you would never want to think about your sister and your father again!"

"Why not? I miss them. The teacher asked us about our family and the people who love us, and they are my family, too."

"NO! THEY AREN'T!"

"Why not?!"

"Because! Because, if they were your family… if Pepper loved you so much, she would have not lied to the lawyers about me."

"W-What? Peppy didn't lie. Peppy –"

Ellen rolled her eyes and scoffed. "See? Stupid. You're so stupid. Look, Sam, I didn't want to be one to tell you, but I'm gonna. I think you're old enough to understand. And I'll make it easy, too, since you're so dumb. The lawyers took Pepper and left you here because Pepper lied to them. She lied to everyone. They asked her if you should stay here with me or go with your father, and she said you should stay here with me. She didn't want you to go with them. She didn't want you around anymore."

"No! You're lying!"

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are! Peppy would never do that to me. She said we would both go!"

"Then why are you here?"

"Because the lawyers didn't listen to Peppy."

"They did. And she said you should stay here. With me. To suffer like she suffered. She didn't want to help you anymore. She wanted to be away from you and me."

"You… you're wrong. You're lying. Why would Peppy leave me here? She's my sister!"

Ellen Potts smiled as she slowly bent down to be at her daughter's eye level. "Because, dumb child, she knew that you're worthless and useless. Because she knew that, no matter what you did or try to do, you would always do the wrong thing. And no one wants to be around someone who always does the wrong thing. No one."

"But… but I …"

"You were a mistake. And we all knew. A mistake only makes more mistakes. Now, go to your room."

"Samantha?"

My mother. I'm my mother…

"Sam?"

I turned into her… I'm like the person I hate the most!

"Sam? Sam, stop!"

I'm no better than our mother… she… she was right, I—

"SAM! NO!"

In the blink of an eye, and right before her sister's eyes, Samantha Potts, lost in a reminiscing, tripped on her gown and fell off the ledge.