A Fun Fugu Trip
It was just another night in Osaka's Nishiyodogawa ward. Not unlike anywhere else in Japan, a lot of the city's residents were occupied with serving one another at whatever jobs they had at the time. At least that was true for the humans of Osaka, but it didn't apply to anyone who wasn't of the same ilk. So at least at the current hour, the waters of a river flowing underneath a metallic cross-framed bridge supported by round metal and concrete pillars remained undisturbed by the streetlamps of Osaka's urban outskirts.
"Guys, I got another one!"
A splash could be heard as Mon erupted from the waters of Samondo River. He sounded rather ecstatic about what he found below the surface – in his hand, a sagging wet pufferfish wriggled around on his palm. On the edge of one of the concrete levees lining the river above, Uzuki kept track of the younger turtle's progress on her phone. "And that's #7," she recorded with taps on her phone screen.
Next to her, Basho was hovering above the water on his multi-turbine jetpack strapped to his shell. "A stunning new record for this part of the Mizu no Miyako," he boastfully remarked, "To think fugu were only children of the sea and never of the rivers."
"Mizu no Miyako?" Mon questioned from under a mesh of sea grass, "But isn't it Tenka no Daidokoro?"
"It's the waters this city was built on that led to there even being a daidokoro business, little brother," Basho replied as he confidently tracked another pufferfish.
Meanwhile, Hiro just burst out of the water with two pufferfish clenched in his hands. "Hey Uzuki, I got a #8 and 9 over here!"
"'Ey, nice catch there!" Hoku called from a shallower part of the river, "but wait till you see how much I got under my belt!" Everyone looked in his direction to find that the red-eared slider had just snagged two more pufferfish, a total of four pressed tight against his plastron under his belt. Hoku propped his knuckles on his hips while his chest was puffed out, a toothy grin and dreamy eyes gracing his facial features.
Hiro blinked. "Aw man," he hung his arms lower, his shell hunched up a little, "how are you the kingfisher?"
"Because 'I'm' the king," Hoku put on thumb on his chest while simultaneously readjusting a wriggling pufferfish that tried to slide out from under his belt with his other hand.
Feeling proud of himself, Hoku didn't notice that another stray pufferfish was flying through the air in his direction until it hit him smack dab in the face with a splat, the fish sticking to him for a second before slowly sliding down and leaving a slimy trail. Hoku's eye twitched. "What was that for?" he yelled at Basho, the source of the thrown fish.
"Just a gift to you, my king," Basho enunciated from up above on his hovering jetpack, catching a side glimpse of Uzuki narrowing her eyes and pushing her bottom lip forward in an expression that said 'Come on'.
"Well thanks for this gift, noble one," Hoku shot right back between gritted teeth bared in a vicious smile, seizing one of the pufferfish under his belt, "Allow me to reward you!" Without hesitation, he launched the pufferfish into the air right at Basho, but the purple turtle only swerved to the side to avoid the shot. Hoku took out another one and there that as well, but it got intercepted by his big brother Hiro who leapt out of the water and caught the pufferfish like a dodgeball in a dive save.
"Guys, don't let the fish fly!" Hiro called to both his purple and blue younger brothers before he landed back in the river on his plastron with a deep booming splash. He pulled his head back out of the water to spot Hoku getting ready to throw another pufferfish. "No!" he protested, lifting a hand towards Hoku out of the vain hope he could stop him with just the sound of his voice alone. But it wasn't enough. Hoku launched his third pufferfish at Basho.
The thrown pufferfish rolled through the air until it reached its highest arc point and made a slow descent towards the targeted purple turtle, but it was suddenly enveloped in a flash of blue light in front of the five kids present.
"Huh?" they all said simultaneously, at a loss as to what this sudden phenomenon that happened before their very eyes was. The only answer they got was in the form of that same flash of light popping up next to Hiro and vanishing in that same instant, prompting the large red-masked snapping turtle to recoil in fright.
"Gah!" Hiro gasped as he looked at his own belt that was now devoid of the pufferfish he caught earlier. "My catch! It's gone!"
Mon tried to be helpful in calming his big brother's nerves. "Don't freak out, Hiro! Maybe someone was taking pictures when the fish fell back in the water, right?" He waited for an answer, not only looking at Hiro but also checking for a response from Hoku, Basho, and Uzuki. When Mon took a look at the latter two, he scanned their hands for their phones, or at least some semblance of a mobile device. Uzuki had her phone in her pocket while Basho had his arms crossed over each other, not a trace of a phone on him in sight. Now Mon was nervous. "Okay! I think the fugu are flashing away!"
Basho seemed incredulous upon hearing what his little brother said. "That can't be," he gasped quietly, "Have the fugu evolved to defy our age-old traditional techniques?" His question was swiftly answered by the same flash of light appearing on him and leaving him with two less pufferfish. "No!" he cried out in shock. "The madness is spreading!"
"Don't freak out, Basho!" Uzuki interrupted him before he could break down into a blubbering nerdy mess. "Pull yourself together!" She made sure to check left and right for the possibility of this thing happening again. "Something's snatching our catch in the blink of an eye…" She took a moment to think, then took out her phone and held it horizontally, her camera on video-recording. "Well, never fear. Detective Ōnishi is on the case."
Her words did briefly get Basho and the others to stop panicking, though Hoku was quick to break the silence. "Uh, 'Detective'? Now you're a detective? I thought you were just 'Party Captain Ōnishi' while in public."
By that point, Uzuki had finished adjusting all the camera settings on her phone. "Well, if there's a party I'm needed to be there for, then I'm Party Captain. Other than that, it's a new job as the plot demands." She turned her attention to Hiro below. "Hey Hiro, fork over your last fugu to me, will'ya?"
Hiro want sure what it was Uzuki had in mind, but as a longtime friend, he had no reason not to trust her…even when most of her schemes seemed harebrained a lot of times, she took longer to expend her latent hyperactive energy, loved the crazy a little too much…the point was, he tossed his last pufferfish up to her without another word.
Right after she caught the pufferfish in both her hands, Uzuki then got right to holding it in one hand while outstretched, with the other hand holding her phone to face it, already recording. "Alright then. Now, our mystery fish thief, come and get it." She waited, concentrating on capturing the culprit at the right moment. She waited…
"Hold on, guys." She waited…
"It's coming." She waited…
"I can feel it." She waited…
"Any time now." She sweated.
Basho seized the moment to drift on his jetpack over to Uzuki. "Uh, you mind if I give it a try?" he suggested to her, holding out his hand in the direction of the soggy pufferfish.
The sound of that question was enough to make Uzuki yank the fish away in the furthest direction away from the gadgeteer. "Akan!" she protested, hugging the fish like a lifeline. "This is my plan and I will see it through! My way!"
"Shimouta! My fugu!" Mon cried as he found himself startled by the same flash of light again. Uzuki and Basho were now looking at the sight of a shocked Mon scrambling to find one of his acquired pufferfish now having disappeared.
"That's settled then," Basho said, yanking the fish out of Uzuki's hands, "I'll be using that fish." He didn't get far with it though, as he was immediately accosted by a frantic Uzuki jumping up and grabbing onto him just as he started taking off, causing him to swerve in really extreme angles. "Hey! Get off me! You're wrecking my flight pattern!"
"You come on!" Uzuki objected back. "You're always taking control of everyone's plans before they even start! Can't you give me a chance?"
"Well, if your plans could at least prove they're doing something, then maybe I'd think they're workable. This one didn't, so it's up to me to fix it up!"
"Well, you like fixing things up before they even break!"
Before their argument could spin further in the air out of control, a brief flash of light erupted between them. Both of them redirected their widened eyes to it, noticing some faint shadow within the light seizing the pufferfish and simultaneously fading away. There wasn't enough time to grab at it before it disappeared completely…
"Otto!" Hiro's voice blared right next to the two, making them see that the snapping turtle had just dove right for the thing. Just as his hands came together to ensnare the thing creating the light, it faded away, leaving him to clasp at nothing. The pufferfish that Uzuki and Basho fought over was now gone.
For a second, everyone assumed that Uzuki's plan was a complete bust, with even Uzuki thinking so as well…at least until she spotted the flash returning right behind her from the corner of her eye. Without thinking, she threw herself in a 180 and dove right for the source of the flash, even bouncing off of Basho's flying form like a trampoline. Focusing on how the flash brightened and then dissipated in the same instant, she kept a mental note that this new flash had to reveal the perpetrator due to it already having taken the last pufferfish. Without another moment to waste, she pushed her hands forward and closed in on the flashing thing.
The first thing she felt on her hands was warm soft hair and equally tender and squishy flesh underneath that wriggled against her palms. She initially had her eyes shut tight the whole time despite landing back down on top of the nearby levee on both feet, but she opened one of them to have a look at what she caught. Behind her, the guys also climbed out as quick as they could to get a look as well.
In her hands was a creature which looked like some kind of miniature dog or cat. It was mainly yellow, but had a patch of blue running down its head and back as well, along with the tip of its tail. There was also a tuft of red fur on its chest along with a streak of red on the center of its head, plus a red nose. All the varying colors on its fur were separated with pointed curvy edges resembling flame patterns. The creature turned its head to stare Uzuki in the face, its eyes of magenta pupils and orange coloration outlining the lids piercing into her own with a fierce intent coupled by a teeth-bared snarl, complete with two curved and elongated upper fangs jutting from its jaws.
Everyone stared, blinking a couple times, unsure of what to make of this sudden bizarre new sight. The guys knew they weren't the most ordinary lifeforms in the city, but this little animal before them was right out of the ballpark.
"Metcha kairashī ya!" Hiro exclaimed in a squeaky voice, his eyes dilated and shiny along with his hands held up and pressed against his cheeks in glee.
"Whoa! Who did this fella's makeup?" Mon mused it loud, his head tilted slightly while he crouched to face the creature at eye level.
"Now that's a catch!" Hoku quipped, gently resting a hand on Mon's shell for support as her leaned in to take a closer look.
"What an exceptional specimen! Boy, am I glad Uzuki captured it." Basho wiggled his fingers in a newly unlocked state of fascination.
"Basho, don't be like that!" Uzuki protested, shifting the creature in her hands in another direction, holding it away from the eager teen terrapin scientist. "This little guy's just alone and defenseless, probably hungry. We gotta help him out."
"Well, not to pop everyone's party balloon," Hoku interjected, hanging a pointed finger in the direction of the colorful dog-cat-thing, "but maybe we should be more bothered by the fact that this thing's the one flashing around like a ghost, snatching our fugu."
"Maybe he's just hungry," Uzuki lightly suggested, "I wouldn't be surprised if he tried saying 'please' before."
"Well, if he is, he better not eat the whole fugu," Mon said. "I was gonna ask Basho to cut out all the bad parts before I try out my obanzai magic."
"Well, if you want my recipe footnote, critters like that one can eat up just about anything people can get sick from," Basho said with his arms crossed over his chest. "It wouldn't be shocking if he didn't waste a single piece."
Hiro paid no mind to whatever his brothers were disputing at the moment. Bending over and leaning in closer to the animal, he did his best to put on his lovely face. "Well, what matters right now is that this adorable critter is in good hands." Turning his attention directly to the creature, he wasted no time in being affectionate. "Ain't that right, cutie?" he said in a cutesy voice, "Yes, you are? Yes, you are."
"Hey now, Hiro, you don't need to go that far," Uzuki said to him, uneasily but humorously. "I don't know if this little guy even gets what you're doing."
Hiro playfully scoffed at this insinuation. "What? You can't go too far in giving little guys a little love, even if they look a little lost." He took another moment to have a personal closeup with the critter, saying proudly, "Besides…I'm one with the animals."
The critter immediately got itself out of Uzuki's hands with a spring-loaded leap, using the momentum and midair eye level with Hiro's face to land a barrage of claw swings and scratched. By the time it landed back down on the grass, Hiro's face was abound with marks on his green skin, his red bandana mask in tatters and a wide-eyed look of disbelief plastered all over the big lug's visage. Before he could react further, the creature then hopped down and scampered away, vanishing from the scene completely.
"Well, looks like that critter didn't wanna be one with you," Basho made his observation. Hiro didn't utter a single word in response, just opting to remain in stunned dramatically mock-heartbroken silence.
Uzuki sighed with a frown and got ready to stand up, believing that what happened was the end of the encounter and nothing more could be done. She took one step forward…and slipped forward off her feet, erratically losing balance. "Whoa! Whoa! WHHOOOOOOAAA!" she hollered, spinning her arms in all directions in a ditch effort to avoid falling. It wasn't enough to stop her wobbling though, as after a few seconds, she toppled forward in the direction of the river's waters below.
Fortunately for her, Hiro was quick enough to grab her and pull her right back upright. "Whew! Thanks, Hiro!" she sighed in relief. She then looked down on the ground for the thing that tripped her. She knelt down and picked it up. "Hey guys, did any of you mean to just leave a fugu lying around?" The guys just shook their heads and held up their hands in response.
"Littering's beneath me, so you got the wrong guy," Basho dismissed with a turn of his head.
"Come on, Uzuki. You know I wouldn't waste a perfectly good fish," Mon reasoned.
"I was just trying to catch some and go home. Don't look at me," Hiro carefully defended himself with two hands held in front of him.
"I'm just glad we even still got a fish," Hoku reminded Uzuki and everyone else, even if he sounded like he was deflecting. His relaxed casual tone remained the same despite what had just happened.
Hiro took Hoku's point and shot a glance at the one spare pufferfish in Uzuki's hands. "I thought that dog-cat-thing snatched 'em all away. You think he dropped it?"
Uzuki took her turn to have a look at the fish. "Wakarahen, Hiro. Maybe he left it for us…"
"Oh, so now that random fish-stealing dog-cat-thing that scratched up Hiro's face is suddenly nice?" Hoku felt the need to lampshade yet again from his leaning position on Hiro's side, which Hiro himself had not ignored.
"Hey, I said wakarahen," Uzuki put up both her hands in surrender, the pufferfish now in one, "I just thought it can't be all bad if we're left with at least one and not none, right?"
"Well then," Mon cut in, putting his hands together in one sharp clap, "If we're taking this fish home, who's still up for fresh steaming Fugu Kara-age, courtesy of Dr. Delicate Touch?"
The group's mood changed instantly, everyone jumping up and down with their hands raised in affirmation, accompanied by Basho getting right next to Mon and detailing his intentions for ensuring the pufferfish's correct, complete, and thorough preparation on the stove. Of course, Mon wasn't going to make it all by himself…
Unbeknownst to them, sitting on a tree branch several meters away from Samondo River was the dog-cat-thing of yellow and blue patterns. For the moment, it watched them briefly before hopping away, a pufferfish hanging from its mouth as it chewed.
A new character has appeared! Does this one sound familiar?
Fun Facts:
Nishiyodogawa ward (西淀川 区) is one of Osaka City's most northernmost wards. It has a history of being an industrial area and is home to the main headquarters of Ezaki Glico, the candy company behind the Glico Running Man.
The Samondo River (左門殿川) is a stream that's branched off from the larger Kanzaki River (神崎川) before reconnecting at the Nakashima River (中島川) further south.
Terms:
Mizu no Miyako (水の都): "City of Water" (one of Osaka City's nicknames)
Tenka no Daidokoro (天下の台所): "Kitchen of the Nation" (Osaka City's most well-known nickname; back in the Edo Period, it was known as the main hub for the rice trade - today, it's known for its passion for high quality cooking)
Daidokoro (台所): kitchen
Fugu (フグ): pufferfish
Fugu Kara-age (フグ唐揚 or ふぐ唐揚): deep-fried pufferfish
Obanzai (おばんざい): traditional style home cooking - specifically homemade cuisine comprised of vegetables and seafood prepared simply, incorporates all ingredients (especially ones usually tossed in the trash anywhere else) to ensure nothing is wasted; interestingly enough, this originated from Kyoto which exclusively holds ownership rights to that name/label – if a food is going to be called "obanzai", its ingredients need to be sourced in Kyoto
Dialect words/phrases:
Akan (あかん): "No way!" | Standard Japanese: Dame (だめ)
Shimouta (しもうた or 仕舞うた): "Oh no!"
Otto (おっと): "Gotcha!"
Metcha kairashī ya (めっちゃかいらしいや): "It's so cute!" | Standard Japanese: Sugoku kawairashī da (すごく可愛らしいだ)
Wakarahen (分からへん): "I don't know" | Standard Japanese: Wakaranai (分からない)