Chapter Twenty Nine

"Mum?"

Lily looked over her shoulder at her son, who stood tentatively at the door to her bedroom. She frowned at his reddened eyes, a tell tale sign of recent tears, and the anxious expression he was wielding. She lowered her hairbrush onto the vanity table, turning more fully in her seat to face him;

"Harry? Are you okay?"

Harry's lower lip trembled, as he remained standing by the door. With a tiny gasp, he blurted out; "Is Uncle Sirius dead?"

Lily felt her stomach lurch at the question; the unspoken question she had been too afraid to consider as Sirius' absence had stretched out. She swallowed away her own fears and held a hand out to her son. Harry hurried into the room, grasping her hand, keeping teary, questioning eyes on hers.

She drew him into a hug; "No, Sweetheart. Uncle Sirius isn't..." she hesitated, finding it almost impossible to get the word out; "He'll be back soon."

"Really?" Harry pulled back to look at her; but when he did she saw only doubt and suspicion, no trace of hope or belief that he would.

Lily brushed the hair back from his forehead; "Your Uncle Sirius wouldn't stay away unless there was a really good reason."

"Or because he can't come home. Maybe he's hurt."

She shook her head, attempting to reassure him; "If he was hurt someone would have told us. He would have been taken to hospital."

Harry sniffed, wiping at his eyes; "He's not gonna see me in the play tonight. He's never missed my school things before."

"I know," she murmured, rubbing his arm; "He'll be very sad when he finds out he missed it."

"He doesn't even know I've changed schools," Harry said, whimpering; "I miss him."

"I know you do," Lily pressed a kiss to his head; "I'm sure he misses you too."

Harry shuffled his feet, looking down at the ground; "Maybe I shouldn't do the play."

Lily tilted her head to the side; "You don't have to if you don't want to. But there's loads of other people who would like to see you tonight. I'm going and your Uncle Remus will be there."

Harry's eyes brightened slightly; "But...I thought you said Uncle Remus was sick?"

Lily nodded; "Yes. He wasn't feeling very well last night but he's a bit better now and he wants to come and see you."

Harry seemed to think on the new information for a moment before he drew in a breath, looking thoughtful; "Well, if you and Uncle Remus are watching...it won't be so bad that Uncle Sirius isn't there."

Lily smiled at his reasoning; "Well then, you have better get ready."

He didn't move; instead he looked at her attentively for a moment; "Is your friend gonna be there?"

She frowned at the question; "My friend? Julia?"

Harry shook his head; "No. The man; Malachi's godfather."

Lily started at Harry's mention of Severus and found herself uneasy as she was once again reminded of Severus' revelation to her, as well as the new information that Harry had somehow found out about their relationship and had done so in enough time to begin gathering information as to his identity.

"Um...yes," Lily nodded, deciding there was no point in lying to him. After all , he would probably recognise him if he were to see him; "But not with us. He works at the Foundation that your school is part of."

"I know," Harry nodded, sagely, "Malachi told me. His dad is in charge of your work and Severus is his friend."

Lily could only gape at him, astounded at the information he had managed to acquire; "Harry...how...who told you about Severus?"

Harry shrugged; "Malachi."

"But..." she cleared her throat, gathering her wits, "I mean, how did you learn that he and I are friends?"

"I saw you."

She frowned.

"At work," he elaborated, before he smiled widely; "You were smiling lots."

Lily cleared her throat, rubbing the palms of her hands on her legs, which were sweaty all of a sudden, and attempted to regain her composure; "Well...yes. Severus...Professor Snape, that is, to you, is an old friend of mine; he and I went to Hogwarts together."

"Ah," Harry nodded, with a look that was almost a mirror image of Sirius; "Dumbledore said he knew him too."

Lily frowned again, looking at the vanity in front of her, and reached for the hair brush again; "Sweetheart, if you have any questions about S...Professor Snape then you simply have to ask me. You don't need to go looking for answers from other people."

"Okay," Harry agreed with sudden eagerness, stepping into her vision with wide, excited eyes; "Is he nice?"

Lily glanced at him, briefly, finding herself disarmed by the fact that he had so keenly responded to her suggestion he stop asking others about Severus and took her statement as an invitation to begin questioning her. She cleared her throat; "Well...nice is not exactly how someone would describe him. But he is a kind man; when he wants to be."

"When he wants to be?" Harry repeated; "What do you mean? That he's only nice to people he likes?"

Not at all in the mood to start reflecting on Severus and his various characteristics, while his confession from a couple of nights ago was still weighing so heavily on her mind, she cast him a glance, stating; "Harry, there will be time for questions later. But, for now, you had better get ready or we're be late."

Harry paused with an expression that clearly demonstrated that he was considering whether or not to accept the postponement before he nodded and shrugged; "Okay. I'll go and get changed then."

He didn't wait for a response and ran from the room, leaving her with her thoughts regarding Severus, their friendship, the first Wizarding War and Death Eaters.

"I don't think my mum likes me asking questions about Professor Snape," Harry told Malachi, as they changed into their costumes behind the stage with a number of other boys who were in the same production; "She told me I could ask her about him, instead of other people, but then she sent me away."

Malachi pulled his t-shirt over his head; "You can ask my dad if you want."

Harry frowned; "But I don't know your dad."

"You didn't know Dumbledore and you still asked him. My dad and Severus are best friends; he knows lots about him."

Harry wasn't so sure; he didn't really know what he wanted to know about Professor Snape. There weren't really many questions; the only question he wanted the answer to was whether or not this man was someone his mum would want to marry. And, if he was, would he be a good dad?

It would be silly for him to try and encourage or make his mum think he actually wanted that to happen, if he turned out to be a horrible dad. And he still wasn't sure about the whole thing, after Malachi had suggested that Professor Snape might not like his Uncle Sirius, as his dad didn't, and that really wouldn't be a good thing.

Harry peeked out the side of the curtain that concealed them, out into the crowd of people that were beginning to gather and seat themselves in the podiums. He caught sight of his mum easily; she was talking with people he didn't recognise, with his Uncle Remus at her side, looking pale and still sick, great big bags under his eyes, but he was still smiling at the person who was talking to him, nodding politely.

Professor Snape wasn't with them.

Harry wondered if his Uncle Remus knew him; if he liked him or not.

"Do you like him?" Harry asked Malachi, realising he had never asked him that, though he assumed he did because he always spoke of him like they were friends.

Malachi nodded, confirming his thoughts; "Uh huh. But he can be scary sometimes."

"Scary?" Harry frowned. That didn't sound good; "What do you mean? Why is he scary?"

Malachi shrugged; "Well, only if you do something really stupid. I don't think he likes stupid people; or when people do silly stuff. He was really angry when he found us."

Harry scowled, remembering his mum's reaction; "My mum made me do chores all day yesterday. She kept me off school and everything."

Malachi nodded; "Me too. But I was sick."

Harry looked over him appraisingly; "You don't look sick."

"Severus gave me some potions; they made me better really quickly," Malachi explained, before going on; "My dad came home and he's got a big list of things I had to do today and tomorrow."

"Cleaning?"

"Yep," Malachi nodded; "Cleaning everything. House elf work. But Ayra helps me when they're not looking; she's nice."

"Is everyone ready?" Miss Douglas' voice came from behind the other curtain. There were muttered responses of 'yes' from the boys before she stepped around it and smiled brightly; "Aww, don't you all look adorable."

Harry glanced over at Malachi doubtfully, neither of them impressed with the love heart costumes they had been dressed in.

Miss Douglas clapped her hands together; "Alright everyone, places!"

The children were dancing and singing on the stage; her son was among them, frequently glancing in her direction as he pranced around the stage, and she forced herself to focus and smile reassuringly whenever he did so. It was more difficult than it ought to be, staying focused; and the blame was placed entirely on the fact that Severus was sitting two rows ahead, just far enough to her left for her to see his face, as he watched the performance.

His interest seemed genuine but broken up, as he often glanced down, to the side; would occasionally lean to his left and mutter something in Regulus Black's ear which would make the other either laugh or look at him with such over-the-top disapproval that he was obviously amused by whatever he had said.

The children concluded their song and the stage cleared; Regulus leaned over, saying something close to Severus ear. Severus smiled for a second, as the other man continued speaking, before breaking into outright laughter as the other man did the same and she was struck by how close the two of them were. She remembered what Severus had said about the other man the night he had confessed; that Regulus could barely live with himself, knowing what he had done, and been, during the war.

She watched as Regulus Black smiled brightly, waving in the direction of the stage, where his son was peeking through the curtain. Watched as someone next to him said something to him, making him smile brightly; talk animatedly, his conduct full of ease and friendliness. Severus was right; he did conceal his remorse well. No one would think, just from looking at the man, that he was suffering any guilt for what he had done. He appeared carefree, relaxed and happy.

Even Severus looked content, as they sat speaking among those who surrounded them, with ease and familiarity. Looking at him now, it was almost mindboggling to imagine that he had once been a Death Eater; would the people who they worked with now even believe such an accusation, if someone were to make it? Had she not known him at Hogwarts, if she had only known him since she had started at the Foundation, since their friendship had been renewed, she would never have guessed, never have believed such a thing could be true.

While the typical cynicism, the snarky comments were still there, he was no longer the insecure, reclusive boy he had been when she had known him before. He had an openness about him now, not entirely welcoming but approachable to an extent, that he had never had before. He spoke easily with anyone who approached; he was respected and admired, even by those who didn't know his personally, and it was easy to see that he was content and self-assured, appearing to be respectful of others opinions but not necessarily needing their approval. And someone who devoted almost every spare minute of his time to serve the people who had been affected by the war; going so far that he would be willing to sit and watch children dance around on a stage in costumes while signing out of tune children's songs.

Definitely not someone who would be considered a likely candidate for a Death Eater.

It was almost astounding how much he had changed since she had known him.

At that moment Severus, mid-laugh, turned his head in her direction and caught her eye. She froze, finding herself unable to look away, as he too stilled, his smile and amusing fading somewhat, keeping his eyes on hers. After a few seconds, he nodded in her direction. She hesitated; then raised her hand very slightly in acknowledgement. She saw a slight, relieved smile twitch at his lips as she looked away, back in the direction of the stage.

Remus chuckled as Harry ran to him, arms wide, and flung himself into his arms. He swung him upwards and balanced him on his hip; "You were brilliant, Harry."

"Thanks," he grinned, widely. The little boy's eyes scanned around them expectantly; "Where's Mum?"

"She went to collect some notes on what she missed yesterday," Remus told him, his already weak muscles were beginning to strain so he set him back down on the floor with a dramatic groan; "Goodness, you're getting heavy. What've they been feeding you at this place?"

"Lots of stuff!" Harry announced with a wide grin; "Spaghetti; chicken; chilli; they give us desert every day too!"

"Wow," Remus widened his eyes and nodded to show his approval; "Sounds like you're doing well here."

"I miss you and Uncle Sirius though," Harry told him, his shoulders slumping slightly; "I don't see you very much anymore."

Remus felt a pang of guilt at the accusation, as he was reminded of the lack of time he had been spending with the boy over the past few months. Following the embarrassing incident with Lily, he had found himself distancing himself from her and Harry somewhat, despite the fact that they had smoothed things over without much fuss.

He put his arm around him, grasping his shoulder as they made their way down the corridor; "I'm sorry about that. I can come and get you more after classes; what do you say?"

Harry nodded, smiling up at him brightly, reminding Remus there were happier moments in his life worth living for; "Okay. Can we go ice skating again?"

"We can do whatever you want to do," Remus promised, squeezing his shoulder, eliciting a wider smile from the boy.

"Uncle Remus?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know Severus Snape?"

Remus glanced down at him with a frown; "Snape? Uh...yeah. Yes; I knew him a long time ago. He was at Hogwarts at the same time as me and your mum."

Harry nodded; "Yeah." He looked up at him, his eyes full of curiosity; "Do you like him?"

Remus paused in his footsteps, leading Harry to do the same. He looked down at Harry confused but not entirely baffled at the question; a little voice in the back of his mind reminded him of his role in the Foundation, of finding Lily with him a few months ago at one of the functions. And he hadn't missed the glance the two of them had shared across the room, only twenty minutes ago or so.

Remus glanced around the corridor, which was now almost empty, and then drew Harry over to one of the benches, taking a seat. Harry clambered up to sit down next to him.

"Why do you ask?"

Harry frowned; "Why aren't you answering?"

Remus smiled slightly at his retort, "Well...Severus Snape and I knew one another at school but we were not friends. We were in different Houses. That was a long time ago though; I haven't seen him in years."

Harry eyed him for a moment, not seeming satisfied with the response, before he went on to declare; "Mum's friends with him."

Remus hesitated, careful of what he was saying; "Your mum was friends with him at school."

"Is he nice?"

Remus almost laughed; but he supposed Lily may see a different side to him. In fact, he was quite certain of it. After all, Remus had never been in a position to ever see the nice side of Severus Snape; and, after he'd almost eaten him in monster form, he was certain the chances of him ever seeing it were slim to none.

Nonetheless, it wasn't his place to taint the boy's view of him; "That's something you'll have to decide on your own."

Harry frowned; "Huh?"

"Harry," Remus paused. It wasn't his place to ask; but he couldn't help wondering. And he couldn't help but feel slightly concerned; "Your mum and Professor Snape...do they spend a lot of time together?"

Harry shrugged immediately; "I dunno. I only saw them once. Well...two times."

Remus faltered, tilting his head at Harry; "Did...have they ever appeared...close?"

"Close?"

"Do they appear to...enjoy each other's company?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded with certainty; "Mum looked really happy when I saw her with him."

"I see."

"Did Uncle Sirius know him? Malachi told me his dad and Uncle Sirius don't like each other," Harry went on, enquiringly; "Do him and Professor Snape not like each other either?"

"I don't know," Remus lied, adding before he had the chance to fully comprehend what he was saying; "You'd have to ask your Uncle Sirius." He closed his eyes at the foolish suggestion and found himself glad that Sirius was still missing; he hoped Harry would have forgotten, or got the answer to the question by some other means, before the other man returned.

"So...you don't like him?" Harry eyed him, carefully.

"It's not that I don't like him, Harry. I just don't know him well enough to have a proper opinion on him, that's all," Remus explained; though he found himself uneasy and concerned that Lily's relationship was close enough with him that Harry was beginning to ask questions. While there was no actual proof, he had agreed with Sirius inwardly when he had stated that Severus Snape had been a Death Eater. Even if he hadn't been, he had been sympathetic towards those who were when they were at Hogwarts; and his friendship with Regulus Black went way back to during the war, when the other man had been one.

Reminding himself it was none of his business and that, most likely, he wouldn't have to make any protest anyway once Sirius found out what was going on; he forced the issue to the back of his mind, deciding to take whatever happened as it came.

Severus peered into the almost empty room that was occupied only by Lily, who was flicking through some parchments at the front desk. He had noticed her head that way following the Phoenix's production and, without really thinking through what he was doing or what he would say, he had excused himself from his company and followed, intending to speak with her once again. If the look she had given him during the play was anything to go by, he guessed that she would be open to communication.

However, once he had finally reached the room and found himself with the opportunity to address her, he had frozen, his mind completely wiped of what he ought to say or how he ought to approach her. Her reaction when he had confessed his past to her had not been forth coming; had revealed very little about the way she would react if she were pushed to talk about it.

But her silence had been torture and he hadn't stopped going over it in his mind since it had happened; the silence and the looks she had given him. It hadn't been clear how things stood between them following it; was this a simply bump, one they would be able to recover from with time? Or was that the end of their friendship and she hadn't felt the need to explain that, the crime was so bad?

He had thought, be terrified, that it was the latter; that he had lost her. But the way she had looked at him that night, less than an hour before now; that had not been a look of contempt, of hopelessness. There was a chance; and there may only be a small window for him to make his excuses; his explanations.

And yet he had none. His entire friendship with her rested on him being able to explain, to make her understand; and he could muster up no reason, no justification for what he had done. And so he stood there, frozen, and could only watch her, his hopes fading away to wherever his logical thought had decided to vacate to.

He had had his eyes on her for some time before she sensed she was being watched; and when she did, she glanced in his direction, doing a double take when she realised that it was him. Her hands, which had still been gathering up the parchments, froze and she held his look for a second.

After a moment, she lowered her hands, still clutching the documents; "Severus."

Her voice was strangely neutral; revealing neither happiness nor displeasure at seeing him. He swallowed, nervously, before he stepped into the room; "Lily." And that was all that was said, as they continued to look at one another.

After some time she drew in a breath, averting her eyes; and it was that indication that the window was quickly closing that spurred him into actions. He pushed the door closed, and stepped towards her, and he realised that the window had well and truly slammed shut by the look of alarm on Lily's face at his actions.

"Sever-"

He held up a hand; "Please. Just...just...Let me explain."

Lily looked hesitantly at him for a moment, not saying anything.

"I...I know what I did was wrong."

Lily glanced away, then back at him, as if that were obvious. And it was obvious and he felt his nervousness increasing.

"I...if I could do it again...if I had another chance; you have to know that I would never have chosen the same path."

"Severus," she sighed, shaking her head; "I...look I know, okay? I do."

Severus felt that tiny flame of hope spark again.

"I...I just need some time," she said, quietly, her tone almost entreating.

Severus looked more closely at her, surprised by the pleading in her voice and, he realised, as he did so that her eyes were regretful and sad; but there was a small ray of hope in them as well. And he realised at that moment that she wanted to forgive him; that she didn't want this relationship to end either. And he felt his heart leap at the thought; that there was still a chance to save them.

But the satisfaction, the delight he felt was fleeting; because he realised that, while she may forgive him for what he had done, there was still so much she didn't know. Things that she had to know. Because he couldn't let her go away, give her time to reflect on the simple fact that he had been a Death Eater, only to learn later on his role in the prophecy. An act committed which had directly affected her.

When he came back to his senses he realised she was gathering her things, preparing to leave. He reach out a hand to touch her, partly to stop her, partly because he was worried he'd never have the chance to do so again. She stopped in her movements, not flinching or pulling away at his touch, so he let his hand stay on her hand as he spoke;

"Lily...there is something else. Something else you need to know."

Lily looked at him with an expression so anxious and full of dread that he hated himself for putting her through it; for even making her worry for a second over what he was about to tell her.

She swallowed, her eyes flickering over his face apprehensively.

He took a deep breath, then went on; "It regards the prophecy."

He was met with a blank expression; her complete lack of reaction surprising him. He forced himself to go on, not allowing himself to be distracted from it, now that he had began to speak the truth; "Lily...it was me. I was the Death Eater who revealed the prophecy to the Dark Lord."

Lily was staring at him with a look of complete bewilderment; not at all seeming to comprehend the information he had just revealed to her. He frowned. And she did too;

"Prophecy?"

And suddenly Severus felt his stomach drop; felt the ground fall away beneath his feet as he realised, with absolute horror and astonishment that she had no idea what he was talking about; that she had never learned about the prophecy. The hand that was on her arm dropped to his side.

And, just as suddenly, he hated Dumbledore for not telling him. And then, he was just baffled; because how on Earth had the old man managed to convince the Potters and the Longbottoms to go into hiding for over a year without revealing the reason?

"How could you not know?" Severus voiced his thoughts, quietly, earning a further puzzled frown from the woman before him.

She straightened, a mixture of interest and concern; "What don't I know, Severus?"

His shirt collar felt too tight and he became abruptly aware of the heat within the room. He reached up tugging it; wishing the ground would swallow him up, wishing someone would burst into the room and interrupt them. While only minutes ago he had been willing to accept full responsibility for delivering the prophecy; to actually have to reveal the contents of it to her, the mother of the child in question...

"Severus?" she sounded impatient now, raised an eyebrow; "What prophecy?"

He drew in a breath; "I..." he cleared his throat; "It...it was revealed in February, before your son was born..."

Lily's reaction was immediate; she started at the mention of her son but kept quietly, listening intently.

"This...this prophecy...it stated there was a child to be born; and that this child would have the power to defeat the Dark Lord."

Lily appeared to be frozen for a moment, before she raised her chin, almost defiantly, as if waiting for him to elaborate. But he knew she had already figured it out; and that she knew he knew that. But he went on anyway;

"The child was to be born at the end of July. For a while, your son was considered to be a likely candidate."

Lily's jaw set; "Are...are you telling me that he was after my son?"

Severus quickly shook his head; "No...I mean, yes...that is what we thought, but –"

"But? There's a but?" her tone was cold, clipped and icily furious.

"He just wanted us to think that," Severus explained, quickly; "He is not after your son. He chose another."

"What do you mean he chose another?" she asked, snappily; "We were in hiding for over a year. The whole time he was after my son?"

"The Dark Lord learned there was a spy; he gave false information regarding who he was truly targeting. He was after Neville Longbottom," Severus stated, making Lily start, as though she hadn't quite yet followed the information through to its conclusion and her expression was clouded with sadness and realisation for a moment, as she remembered her old friends who had died the night the war ended.

She drew in a deep breath, trembling slightly as she did so; "Why did he not decide to come after them both? If this...this prophecy is true; he cannot just decide himself who it refers to."

"Apparently he can," Severus explained; "I do not understand why. I do not know the whole of the prophecy; only Dumbledore knows. It is he who has stated who it refers to. Although...the Dark Lord learned your location the night of the Longbottoms' deaths." The implication was there; the Dark Lord had intended to go after them both. Neville Longbottom was simply considered the more important of the two.

Lily expression hardened at Dumbledore's name being mentioned. She went quiet and turned away from him with a shake of the head, as she attempted to make sense of what he had just told her. She raised her hands to her face, her breathing shaky as a silence fell over them.

He stepped towards her; "Lily, Dumbledore is certain it does not concern your son; as is the Dark Lord. Your son...he is not in danger."

She glanced at him with a frown; "Voldemort is dead." He flinched at the name, looking away, and she frowned; "Isn't he?"

He forced himself to look back at her and nodded. It wasn't really a lie, after all.

"How can Dumbledore be sure of all this?" Lily asked, uncertainly; "How did he know...why did he think he was targeting us?"

Severus swallowed; "Because I told him."

Her eyes flew to his. He held her look; watched as realisation dawned over her. As she realised the reason he had turned to Dumbledore; the reason he had become the old man's spy.

"Oh," she whispered. And then she lowered her eyes.

After a tense moment, when he was left wondering what this new confession would mean to them, if there was still a chance she could forgive him, she took a step back, looking troubled. He frowned, reaching to touch her arm again. As he did so she directed a questioning, distressed glance at him;

"You all knew? All...the Death Eaters?"

Severus frowned at the direction she was taking. He nodded slightly; "Yes."

"That he was after Harry? That he was after my son, you all knew?" she repeated, wanting further elaboration.

"Yes," he affirmed; "We were given...permission to dispose of yourself and your husband..." he hesitated, but she did not appear desirous of protesting, so he went on; "should we come across you. But the child...he was to be left for the Dark Lord."

Lily looked both horrified and disgusted by the information, pushing on, her voice quiet, tentative; "So...Peter knew?"

Severus blinked.

"Peter...he...he knew they were after Harry? He...he gave us up...he..." she stopped, her breathing even shakier than before, as she shook her head, whispering; "Oh my God."

Severus had no idea what to say to offer any sort of reassurance; no doubt Pettigrew had known that Harry was the target. Regardless if he knew or not, the very fact that he had revealed the Potters location, that he put Lily in danger, meant he had no wish whatsoever to defend the man against Lily's fury.

She pushed past him; "I have to go."

And, before he could react, she had left, leaving him standing there just as baffled by her reaction to the news as he had been the evening he had revealed his role as a Death Eater.