Chapter Ten: Consequences:

{Karai}

I'm trying not to shake before him. I'm trying to hold my tongue, to cover my pain with my anger, to shield the fragile, delicate parts of me from his wrath and my own disgust. Trying to be stone, like him. To feel nothing, to be nothing but hollow and unmoving. Just like him.

But beneath his burning gaze, I find it difficult to hide my fear, my protests. I find it difficult to bite down my bitter words as he stands and lectures me for not doing enough, for not being enough. So I just clench my fists and grit my teeth and bow my head low before the one I must call father, and listen to the voice that has torn me down so many times before.

"My soldiers said you deserted them early on in the mission," he growls. The blades extending from his forearm glint in the dim light, reflecting my image and acting as a constant reminder that I am forever at his mercy. I wait patiently, listening as I brace myself for the inevitable. For the fist to flash across my vision, for the boot to catch my jaw. Pain is life's greatest teacher, as he's always said. But I'm still struggling to find what it's taught me thus far.

"Is that true?" he presses when I don't answer.

I nod. "Yes."

"Why did you disobey my orders?"

"I thought it'd be easier to find the turtles on my own," I lie. "The Foot soldiers tend to draw too much attention."

"That is not what I instructed," he mutters roughly.

"But it worked, didn't it?" I retort. And as expected, the sting of the back of his hand shoots across my face. My head snaps to the side under the blow, and the wounds in my mouth open again. The taste of blood is bitter and metallic.

"You will not speak to me with such disrespect, child," he seethes. My face is buzzing from the strike, but I keep still and stare absently at the ground, wondering if pain will be the only thing I ever feel from him.

"Not only did you disobey my orders by leaving your assigned group, but you let Leonardo escape!"

"He fell off the building," I answer numbly. I try not to remember the jolt of seeing him vanish over the edge, but my stomach turns despite my efforts. "His brother attacked me before I could finish the job."

He doesn't say anything for a moment. He just stands before me, his gaze boring down into my soul, searing hot and deathly cold at the same time. I sit and wait, but I'm not prepared when he kneels down and grabs my face, forcing me to look him in the eye.

The pressure of his fingers against my jaw ignites the pain from the welts Raphael gave me earlier. I clench my teeth and stare back into his dark eyes, unable to hide the fierce defiance and hatred burning in my gaze. But that's okay. I want him to see it.

"I hope you're not lying to me, Karai," he growls lowly. "You may not be able to bear the consequences."

He releases me with a rough jerk of his arm, knocking me back. He stands to his feet and turns his back to me. My hand immediately shoots up to rub the deep pain from my jaw, and I pull myself to my feet, swallowing a mouthful of bloody saliva.

"You will remain here for a while," he says after a moment. "You are not to leave these walls until I've deemed you fit for the field again."

I can't hold back the shout of protest. "What?"

He looks over his shoulder, his eyes burning from behind his mask. "You heard me, child."

"But why? What did I do?"

"Your loyalty has been compromised by the enemy," he hisses. "I no longer trust you to carry out your missions in obedience."

"But Father—"

"Enough!" he snaps, whirling around with his fists clenched and his blades drawn. "You heard me, Karai! Now go to your quarters—we're done here."

I can feel the venom bubbling up the back of my throat again. Hot, boiling words fueled by all the rage inside of me. All the things I wish I could scream at him seep into my mouth and mix with the blood, but I bite down and hold it back. There is no arguing with him.

And so I clamp my mouth shut and turn on my heels, not even bothering to bow before leaving his throne room. The door shuts behind me and I stomp up the two flights of stairs leading to my "quarters." I throw the door open and slam it shut and collapse onto the stiff mat that serves as my bed. I bury my face in my arms, curling up against the madness, as if I could ever hide from it. I can't stop the tears from rolling down my face, carrying the smears of face paint and blood with them. My body shakes under the weight of it all, and my abdomen clenches as I attempt to hold back the ragged sobs.

Stupid, weak little girl.

Every muscle in me tightens as if to fend off the oncoming torrent of emotions.

All you ever do is cry.

I grit my teeth and try to calm my breathing, but amongst the storm, images of Leonardo, wounded and bleeding, come rushing in, and I lose myself.

He's going to hate you now. You went too far; you almost got him killed.

And it's like he's toppling over the edge again, swallowed by the night.

He's never going to trust you again.

I don't believe even his naïve kindness could extend to me now.

But it doesn't really matter. It's not like Father's going to let you leave again anyway. You're stuck here with him.

My fingers dig into the mat, clawing at the dense material.

I'm stuck here. There's no escape. No hiding place to run to, no darkness to cower in, no one to talk to. Just me and Father and all the madness in-between.

I wonder how I'm going to survive.

~T~

{Donnie}

"Donnie! Donnie, help!"

Raph's voice jars me from my sleep. The urgency is like an alarm, ripping me from my place at my desk and standing me on my feet. My head grows heavy and dizzy with the rush, but I have no time to pay it any attention as Raph barges through the laboratory door with an unconscious Leo slung over his back.

"What?" I yelp, my voice cracking as it warms up. "What happened?"

Raph's breathing is ragged and labored, and he shifts Leo's body off his shoulders and onto the empty examination table—

Wait.

"Mikey?" I call hastily. "Mikey! Where'd—"

"Dude, turn it down," Mikey grumbles, sitting up on the couch. Oh, thank goodness-

"Donnie, get over here now!" Raph snarls. I scramble for the table, my thoughts stumbling over one another as my brain attempts to wake from its stupor.

I reach Raphael's side and my eyes widen as they fall upon my older brother, broken, bruised, and bloody. A lump forms in my throat at the sight of Leo, our leader, our strong hold, cracked like a toy before me.

"W-What happened to him?" I whimper. My voice falters again, but it isn't from the drowsiness.

"Karai," Raph growls. His voice is so thick and full of pain and bitterness, I almost forget myself. I watch the way his sharp green eyes, now blurred by tears, focus on the body of our brother, and my chest constricts.

"Karai?" I repeat numbly. He nods, keeping his eyes on Leo, his fists clenched at his sides as he shakes beneath his pain.

Oh, no. I sent him out tonight. I told him to go confront Karai about the robots; I made him feel like he had something to prove by getting her to help us, by testing his trust. Did she do this because he was sticking his nose in Shredder's business? Is this my fault?

"Please," Raph chokes, shaking me from my reflection. "Help him."

The brokenness of Raph is enough to send fractures down my being. I nod, swallowing hard, and move towards the cabinets to get towels and bandages and materials to tie up the broken limbs.

"Raph," I whisper, "go get Master Splinter."

Mikey's watching us from under his blankets like a frightened child. His eyes are wide and wavering with fear, and as Raph reluctantly leaves Leo's side, Mikey pokes his head through the blankets, his blurred gaze searching Leo.

"Is he gonna be okay?" he sniffles.

"Yeah," I answer, but my throat feels tight. "He'll be fine."

"Why is his leg bent?" Mikey whimpers softly. "And his shell—"

"He'll be fine, Mikey," I bite. "Just lie back down and try to rest. You're not healed yet and I don't want you getting too worked up, alright?"

But I can tell by the look on his face that he won't be resting any time soon—not with his brother lying half-dead in front of him. I sigh, shaking my head and gathering the rest of the materials. I'll need to set his broken leg…and it isn't going to be easy.

"Donatello?" Master Splinter's voice makes the heaviness in my chest become even more impossible. I can hear him gasp at the sight of his son lying twisted on the table, and he rushes to his side with Raph on his heels.

"Leonardo…" His hand reaches out the same way it did when Mikey was lying there, just a few nights ago. I wonder if he can bear this pain twice in such short time. "What happened, Raphael?"

I can see the fire flickering to life in Raph's burning gaze as he recalls the night. His fists ball up at his sides and his voice is pushed through gritted teeth.

"It was Karai," he starts, spitting the name like it's toxic. "She had Foot soldiers with her, and they were attacking him on the roof. They shot him with something, and he couldn't stand up right, and he couldn't fight back, either. Karai…she had him pinned at the edge of the roof, and she was going to kill him. I went after her, but…" He trails off, averting his gaze, his lip curling over his teeth. "He…he fell off the roof. I-I was so focused on Karai, I didn't even notice until he was over the edge…" And he bows his head before Sensei, his jaw clenched, his body tensed against the rising threat of tears that are beginning to spill down his face.

"I-I didn't… I'm sorry, Master Splinter. I s-should've helped him first, I was just so angry—"

"It is over, Raphael," Splinter says quietly. "Nothing can be done about it now. Just focus on helping your brother."

Raph's shoulders quiver beneath Sensei's words, because we all can hear it—there's a hint of blame, of accusation, however faint, laced in Sensei's voice. Two of his sons wounded in one week, connected by a single common factor—Raph not doing what he was supposed to do. Fighting with Mikey and making him run off, attacking Karai out of anger instead of making sure his brother was safe first—I can see it all weighing down on my tempered brother, and my heart aches for him. He breaks so easily, and I'm afraid to see what this might do to him.

But I know inside that the blame can't be solely placed on Raph, and my conscious weighs so heavily on me that I can't stop the words from leaving my mouth.

"It's my fault, Sensei," I blurt shakily. "I asked Leo to go out and confront Karai about the robot we found that attacked Mikey—he's hurt because of me—"

"Enough, my sons," Splinter interrupts. "It no longer matters. Leonardo's injuries are what lie before us now, and we must see to it that he is healed. Fault and blame will not help us."

I swallow. "Yes, Sensei."

"We need to set his leg," Splinter continues. "It will be painful—he may regain consciousness. We must be ready to hold him down when he does. Raphael, you will help me hold him to the table while Donatello sets the bone back in place."

Raph nods, but the color drains from his face at the notion of snapping Leo's leg back. He's never been good at handling injuries—it always makes him sick. But he does as he's told and holds back his nausea at the thought. He and Splinter restrain Leo's body while I place the wrappings and splint on the table. The swelling in his leg is looking pretty gruesome, and the unnatural angle of his bone is making me kind of sick. I swallow the protests and take hold of his leg, mentally preparing myself for what is to come when I push the bone back into place. I can see the bump of the broken bone pushing up beneath the skin. We're lucky it didn't tear through, but it's still pretty bad. He's going to have a heck of a time recovering.

"Ready?" I breathe. Splinter and Raph both nod, reinforcing their grip on Leo's shoulders and torso. I sigh and tense myself as I put my hands along the bent limb.

"Alright then…" Big breath. "One…two…three!"

And then he wakes up.

~T~

{Mikey}

Leo starts screaming the second Donnie presses down on his leg. The sound rips through me and turns my blood to ice. My breath catches in my throat and my stomach twists at the sight of him thrashing on the table as Master Splinter and Raph struggle to hold him down.

"Leo!" Donnie cries. "Leo, please, it's okay—"

"AH!" His voice is raw and broken and awful, like some animal caught in a trap. He twists and arches against the struggling hands trying to hold him in place. "LET ME GO—Gah!" His words are so twisted by the pain he's feeling that it doesn't even sound like Leo.

"What's wrong with him?" Raph shouts.

"He's in shock," Donnie says, frantic. "Leo, please! Keep still—"

But each new scream is louder and worse than the last.

"Leo!"

"My son, you must calm down!"

But it's like Leo's not even here. His screams tear through the lair, echoing, ringing, bleeding. I clench my eyes shut and hide under the blankets, unable to watch any longer. I try to bury my head in the cushions to block out the sound, but I can't, it's so loud—

"Leonardo—"

"Please!"

"Leo, stop it!"

So many voices, desperate and drowned out by his cries. The agony is so evident, I can feel is move through my bones. I tense up and whimper beneath the blankets, unable to block out the sound of his screams and the thumping and thrashing as he tries to fight. I dare to look again, just because I can't stand listening in the darkness of the sheets, and Raph's practically climbed on top of Leo to hold him down as Donnie snaps the bone back into place. The sickening crack of it makes me feel like I'm going to throw up, and I duck back under the blankets, breathing hard and shallow and feeling way too light-headed.

But then the sound of his screams suddenly stops, and I hear a dull thump followed by ragged breaths. I dare to peek beyond my shelter again and see Leo, limp on the table, and everyone else trying to catch their breath.

"What…what happened?" Raph gasps, struggling to get off of Leo with his legs shaking like rubber.

"I think…he passed out…from the pain," Donnie breaths, wiping his brow.

I watch Splinter; watch his face contort in that sadness I hate seeing in him; watch him as he stares down at Leo's body. It's moments like these where the age of our Master really shows in his eyes.

"…Alright," Donnie whispers after a moment of tense silence. "I'll clean up the rest of his wounds and wrap his wrist after I bind his leg."

I think we all expect Splinter to leave for some reason, but he doesn't budge. In fact, he takes a clean towel from the pile Donnie's gathered and begins to dab at Leo's wounds himself.

"I will do this, Donatello," Sensei says quietly. "You and your brothers are free to go."

Everyone just stands there for a minute. I can tell by Raph's face that the last thing he wants to do is leave, and he steps forth in protest.

"But Sensei—"

Donnie puts his hand on Raph's shoulder and gives him a look. Raph sighs, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

"…Hai, Sensei," he mutters reluctantly. And then he turns and walks over to me and actually scoops me up from the couch. My eyes widen at the gesture, but I don't say anything—even though I'm pretty sure holding me like this messes me up more than it helps anything. Donnie keeps quiet too, and we all head out of the laboratory, leaving Splinter and Leo behind. The door shuts, and I lean my head against Raph's chest.

"He's gonna be fine, right?" I ask Donnie again. But this time Donnie doesn't say anything.

"Come on, Mikey," Raph whispers. "Let's get you to bed so you can rest."

I want to push out of his arms and tell them both I don't need to rest, that I can't rest—not with Leo the way he is. But I know they're both only doing what they think is right by treating me this way, even if it isn't. I know they see me as the little brother who needs protection, who has to be shielded from the darker things of life, as if I haven't gone through all of this with them. I've seen every injury, suffered through every failed plan, every mission, every fight that ever went wrong and sent us running—but for some reason, they still keep things from me.

Sometimes I think that they forget that everything we've done, we've done together.

But I don't say anything. Not now, at least. I keep quiet as Raph carries me to my room, and I keep quiet as he lays me down in my bed and helps me with the sheets, and I don't say anything when he mutters something about going to his room and walks out the door. Donnie stands there, his eyes on the doorway where Raph was just standing, and I lay quietly under the blankets, watching his face. There's that look in his eyes that he gets when he's lost.

"…Donnie?" I whisper.

He doesn't look at me. "Hm?"

"It's okay to be scared." His eyes drop down to me and he tilts his head. "It's okay to not know something."

"I know that, Mikey," he says, slightly confused.

But I shake my head a little. "I don't think you do." He looks at me like he's about to argue, but I hold his gaze in sincerity, and he drops it.

"You get some rest, okay?" he whispers. I can see him shift for the door, and my heart lurches. I don't want to be alone, not right now, not with Leo's screams echoing in my head. I have to get him to stay—

And the question comes out before I can stop it. "What's Project X?"

He stops, and his eyes are wide when they fall on me again. "What?"

"What is it?" I ask again. "And what does 'anthropromorphsize' mean?"

He opens his mouth before he can think of the words to say, and after an awkward moment of silence, he starts out by correcting me. "You mean anthropomorphize? Where'd you even—"

"I saw your notes," I confess. "And the drawings." I frown, remembering. "Are you gonna finish that human's face or is it some sort of abstract thing?"

He stares. Just watches me with big, red brown eyes. It's making me kinda uncomfortable and I wiggle deeper into the sheets, as if I could disappear entirely. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything…

"Mikey…"

"I didn't mean to!" I whimper. "I just woke up and I saw them on your desk and… I-I was just curious…"

And then something weird happens. For a moment, he looks like he's about to blow up with a lecture. He looks scared and nervous, like I've done something awful, but then a second later, all of that tension disappears, and he just shakes his head and smiles.

"No…no, it's fine. I was just working on some stuff with the mutagen. In fact, that's how I found the medicine that helped you heal so fast."

"Oh," I say, a little brighter. "What about the—"

"I was just doodling," he continues, running over my words. "And anthropomorphize means to humanize something, like when we first came in contact with the mutagen. I was studying the effects and trying to find a connection, because lately, every new mutation has been different in the way it affects the original organism. I think the Kraang are trying to perfect the mutagen, like Mr. O' Neil said, because it doesn't work the same here as it does in Dimension X. So they keep changing the formula, which changes the way mutations work, and—"

"I got it," I interrupt, smiling sheepishly. My head's already a jumbled mess from everything that's happened—the last thing I need is technobabble floating around in there. "Thanks, Donnie."

He arches a brow and grins, giving me a weak noogie for good measure. "But next time, ask before you go snooping around my stuff, okay?"

I nod like an obedient angel, and he chuckles.

"That's probably asking too much of you, huh?"

I smirk. "Probably."

"Figures." He pauses, holding that faint and warm smile I like to see so much before he sighs and makes to head out of the room. I reach my hand out before I even know what I'm doing and take hold of one of his fingers. He stops and looks back at me.

"Um, can you stay with me?" I ask timidly. I hate asking, but Leo's awful screams are already playing over in my mind. If he leaves me alone, I'll just have nightmares of seeing my big brother twisted and broken and crying out. And I can't handle that…not by myself.

His eyes search mine and he nods. "Sure thing, Mikey."

"…and Raph, too?" I know that one's a stretch, but I don't think he should be alone right now either. Donnie arches a brow to that, but I hold his gaze with my puppy eyes until he gives in and slumps his shoulders in defeat.

"Yeah, of course… Let me go get him."

"Thanks, Donnie." I beam a smile at him and he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck as he walks towards the door.

"No problem… I'll, uh, be back in a few minutes."

He leaves, and I listen to the sound of his footsteps as he heads for Raph's room. I sigh contently and snuggle under the covers, my eyes glued to the doorway as I wait for my brothers.

~T~

{Donnie}

I hesitate in front of Raph's door, chewing on the inside of my cheek as my mind scrambles for the words. He's upset—we all are—but he's dangerously so. But I can't shake the image of Mikey's big blue, wavering puppy eyes, so I exhale heavily and push my way into his room.

"Hey…Raph?" I start, uncertain. He's lying in his bed in the darkness, facing the wall. I clear my throat and continue. "Um, Mikey wants us to stay with him tonight."

No response.

"He specifically asked for you," I add. "And I don't think it's a good idea for any of us to be alone right now…"

Still nothing.

I frown and step further into the dark room. "Raph?"

"Did you see the way Sensei looked at him?" he whispers, barely loud enough for me to hear. My brow furrows and I close the door behind me, shutting us away in the deep shadow.

"At Leo?" I clarify. But I already know where he's going with this—after all, I was thinking the same thing.

Raph doesn't turn to face me; he doesn't even move. But I can hear the slight tremor in his voice as he struggles to control himself.

"Yeah."

"What about it, Raph?"

He hesitates, searching for the words. "Do…do you think he ever looks at us like that?" Another pause. "Do you think he's ever looked at me like that?"

I swallow. "Raph, Splinter cares about all of us—he raised us after all, didn't he? He's not one to play favorites; you've got nothing to worry about—"

"You're not answering my question," he says lowly. "You saw him in there. He sent all of us out, including you. Out of your own lab, Donnie. Doesn't that…bother you?"

I sigh. "Raph, come on, you're being ridiculous. Leo's hurt, and Sensei's watching over him."

He rolls over and his bright eyes pierce my own. "But he didn't even do that for Mikey."

That stumps me for a moment. "Raph…" I groan, rubbing my forehead. I'm too tired for this… "Sensei's hardest on Leo, and for good reasons. So it makes sense that maybe he'd feel bad, or feel the need to be with Leo right now. Just because their relationship is different doesn't mean it's worth more. Sensei deals with all of us in different ways, but that doesn't mean he cares any less. He'd be just as worried about you if it were you in there, and you know it."

But he doesn't look satisfied with that answer. He sighs and rolls back over, hiding his face from me. I know he's just feeling like this because he thinks this is all his fault. He's probably already jumped to the conclusion that Sensei hates him or something.

I watch him for a moment before walking to his bedside and grabbing hold of his arm with a gentle tug.

"It was my fault Leo went out tonight," I whisper. "Not yours. You don't have to beat yourself up every time something happens, and you don't have to automatically assume that everyone hates you because of it. Sensei loves you the same as he loves me and Mikey—and yes, even Leo," I emphasize. "Now come on. Mikey's waiting for us, and I don't want to leave him alone much longer."

He doesn't move for a moment, and part of me fears that I won't be able to convince him, but then he grumbles something under his breath, swats my arm away, and gets up himself. I allow myself to smile in relief, thankful for Raph's soft spot for Mikey. He slides off the bed and pushes past me as he heads for the door, and I follow on his heels.

We get to Mikey's room and I grin as he inhales excitedly and sits up, like he didn't really think I'd get Raph to even budge. He gets that big, goofy smile on his face and looks to Raph expectantly, but Raph says nothing more than a gruff, "Move over," and plops down on the side of the bed closest to the wall. I almost scold him for being so shut up and cold, but I decide it best to keep my own attitude light, for Mikey's sake. I wriggle under the blankets and immediately think to myself that these mattresses are not sized for three teenage mutants, but again, I don't say anything. We haven't done this since we were young, and the nostalgia is quite comforting. Mikey's practically bouncing up and down at the fact that his two older brothers actually agreed to this, and I have to quietly remind him that we're supposed to be sleeping.

"Sorry," he whispers. "I'll shut up now."

And with that, he snuggles down between Raph and I, humming contently. I smile and roll my eyes, throwing my arm over him. I glance over at Raph, who has his back to the both of us, completely silent, and refrain from nitpicking his behavior.

Just leave him alone and be glad he was nice enough to comply.

But Mikey follows my gaze, and apparently, my thoughts, because next thing I know, he's slinging his arms around Raph as best as he can and pressing his face up against his shell, grinning like a child.

"'Night, Raphie," he hums. I almost expect Raph to hit him or say something mean, but he actually chuckles at the stupid nickname that he hates so much and rolls over, rubbing Mikey's head with a smirk and a sad sort of look in his eyes.

"Goodnight, you dork."

And with that, Mikey drifts off into sleep, sandwiched comfortably—I think—between his two brothers. I watch his face as he snores softly and glance briefly at Raph, who's adjusted from staring at the wall to the ceiling as he lies on his back.

"Goodnight, Raph," I mutter, watching him. He doesn't look at me; he just keeps those eyes on the ceiling, lost in his thoughts.

"Yeah," he whispers back. "'Night."