Chapter Ten: Consequences:

{Leo}

It hurts to wake up, but I do. My consciousness slowly crawls from the depths and onto the shores, and as I surface, I become aware of my present state of being. The cuts under my jaw, the wounds in my shoulder and the back of my thigh, the bruising along my shins and forearms, and the searing pain of displacement in my arm and my leg. My shell burns. My head throbs. And in my newly found agony, I almost lose myself.

A whimper pushes up first, but as my body and mind stir to life, the pain becomes more intense, and the sound quickly melts into a frantic groan. I twitch, instinctively struggling as the memories come back to me in short, sporadic bursts. My eyes snap open and I gasp; my whole body jolts with a fresh wave of adrenaline—

"Calm down, my son."

A voice. A hand, gently placed on my chest, urging me to lie back. I struggle to swallow and continue to suck at the air, pulling shallow, quick breaths as I fight to steady myself. I remember running and fighting. I remember being scared and confused, and I remember the horror of being shot, drugged, and stumbling to the edge of the roof. I was bleeding. I was hurt, cornered, and slowly slipping. And then—

And then nothing. Just a few bursts of pain, and then darkness.

My breath carries a panicked moan, and I try to move again when the voice hushes me, and the hand holds me in place. Warm, soft. Calming.

"Leonardo, can you hear me?"

I blink. Dazed. It hurts—I'm on fire—and my bones—

"My son, look at me…"

The hand moves to my face, careful of the peeled skin along my jaw. My vision focuses and fades a few times before I see him sitting beside me, holding my head up, his eyes gripping mine as he tries to pull me back from the depths.

A shudder moves through me, igniting my nerves. "Mmph…"

"It is alright, Leonardo. You are safe now."

Splinter. Sensei. Father.

I blink again and let my head roll back against the cool surface.

"Just breathe, my son," he instructs softly. I give a small nod, pulling the air in from my mouth and nose and wincing at the tenderness of my chest as my lungs expand. My thoughts begin to clear, but it's slow, and the feeling of panic and alarm has not yet faded from my system. My nerves still spark with the urge to get up and run, and even as my brain works to fight it, my muscles continue to twitch involuntarily.

"Do you remember anything, my child?"

I swallow, my facial muscles clenching through another wave of pain. My arm and leg are pounding with a sickening heat. Something's wrong—the feeling's too deep to be a cut or a bruise—

The sensation intensifies for a moment, and I hiss through gritted teeth. "Gah…"

"Focus," he presses. I feel him place his hand on mine in reassurance, and I try to concentrate on that rather than the torment streaking through me. "Do you remember what happened to you?"

I'm trying. I bite down and force myself to push through the haze of my mind, shoving aside the thoughts that don't matter, the jumble, the scattered, thread-bare tatters of what my mind cannot grasp. The fog lifts gradually as I fight it, and I reach and grab hold of the strings looped around the recollections, tugging, struggling to pull them free—

But then they come like a wave. A flood, rising and crashing into me and sweeping me away. I jerk and gasp as the images fill my mind—

I went to the alleyway—

Karai—

And then I was running—

Karai—

My eyes were hurting, and I was scared—

Karai…

The rooftops. Swords, gleaming, clashing, and then the arrows. One, two; poison.

Karai.

Her eyes. She was scared too. And angry—at me, at herself, at the Foot soldiers—

She was trying to help me when something happened. She was pushed back, and I fell, and then it all went dark.

I'm staring off into the nothingness when Sensei's voice draws me back.

"…Leonardo?"

I shake my head a little, clearing away the vividness of the memories. I swallow again.

"I-I think I fell," I mutter hoarsely. "I was…on the roof… I slipped…" I hesitate, holding back my breath for a moment as the thoughts pool. "I…I don't remember anything else."

He watches me. His eyes burn through me, but I don't meet his gaze. In this one instance, I focus on the pain rather than on him until he sighs and sits back in his chair.

"You are very lucky to be alive, my son," he says after a moment. I nod curtly and stare up at the light fixture swaying from the ceiling. I can tell from the sound of his voice—or more, his pauses—that he doesn't believe me. But I'm not about to mention that I snuck out to see Karai. I'll take any other lecture from him—even for things that aren't my fault—but I will never admit to my disobedience concerning her. He probably already knows; in fact, I'm quite sure he does. But he's not going to hear it from me.

"How…how bad off am I?" I ask quietly. I'm afraid to hear the answer, because I can feel my body aching and throbbing with my injuries, and there's something wrong in my leg and my arm. I'm stiff.

"As I said, you are lucky to be alive," he starts, averting his gaze to my body. "The bones in your right leg and left arm have been broken. Your brothers helped me set them, and I have wrapped them as best as I could. But you will not be able to walk or move very well for some time, my son."

I swallow, grimacing as I take the news like a spoon of bad medicine. "How long?"

He frowns, deep in thought and obviously troubled by my physical state. "Donatello will have to give a proper estimate, but from what I have seen, it will take months."

I almost sit up again out of shock, but the pain is quick to still me. "Months?" I yelp. "B-But Sensei, I can't be out for that long. There's the team—we have patrol—and my training—"

"What's done is done, Leonardo," he says firmly. "I'm afraid you cannot change what occurred. The best thing for you to do now is focus on your healing. And maybe this…incident…will give you time to think about the actions that have brought you to this point."

I can hear it in his voice: a hinting inflection, a knowing tone. I don't know whether he's referring to me sneaking out to see Karai or me sneaking out in general, but whatever it is, he's labeling my injury as my punishment. I let out a small breath of defeat and understanding, and I nod.

"…Hai."

He watches me with pained eyes, and he looks away, exhaling heavily. "You could have easily hit your head and died." The weight in his voice cuts me deep, and I blink away at the sting running through my eyes. "You must be more careful, my son…"

"I know." I swallow. "I-I'm sorry, Sensei."

His gaze falls on me again, but only for a moment. The air feels heavy with things left unsaid. I can sense both his relief and pain at my injuries, and it's even deeper now that he knows there's something I'm not telling him. I don't want him to feel like I'm keeping secrets from my own father, but I can't… I can't tell him what I've been doing. He can't know the extent of which I've fallen.

"You must be tired," he says finally. He scoots back from the table and begins to gather the bloody rags and bandages. "Try to get some rest now. Donatello will look you over in the morning, and we will decide what needs to be done from there."

I lie there and watch him as he sets the supplies in the sink across from me. The sound of running water is the only thing that breaks the silence while he cleans up. I try to ignore the ache in my chest—try to fight off the torrent of confusion and pain—but it's like I've been drained: emotionally, mentally, and physically. I'm just hurt.

The sinks stops, and I listen to his steps as he moves for the laboratory door. He pauses at the entrance to look back at me.

"Goodnight, my son."

He turns out the light. The door shuts, and I'm alone.

But I don't want to be.

A lump forms in my throat, and suddenly, I'm overwhelmed. The frustration, the fear, and pain, the confusion and the emotional tear are just too much for me, and in my weakened state, I feel myself breaking. Falling apart, crumbling into that familiar and bitter darkness where it's just me and all of the things I can't escape. I'm at the mercy of the waves again, lost, struggling to swim, to keep my head above the surface. But I just can't.

A string runs across my nose and through my eyes, and before I know it, tears are dripping down my face.

How could I have let this happen? How could I have been so stupid? I should've stayed home—I should've known that seeing her so often would only get me in trouble—worse, it almost killed me! And now I can't even do the simple things. I can't train, can't patrol—I can't move forward for months! I'm going to be stuck here, useless, all because I can't control this stupid need to be around her, to see her, to test the limits of the ties that bind our worlds together.

I should have known…

How am I supposed to be a leader when I can't even discipline myself? How are any of my brothers supposed to look up to me, to trust me, to follow me?

My jaw clenches, and my muscles coil and bunch and tense against the pain writhing through me. The anger and the sense of defeat is almost unbearable. The shame is even worse. I've been lying to my father, to my family, to myself—chasing after the wind like a desperate child. And look what it's cost me.

The waves keep coming. Rolling, swelling, dragging me down. And this time, I let them. I lie there in the darkness and shake and cry until my strength gives out and I drop into the black.

My eyes peel open. I'm brought out from the dark once more. And once more, the pain comes at me, threatening to sweep me away.

I let out a groan, flexing and relaxing my muscles in an attempt to chase away the stiffness in my body. But it does little good.

It's morning. I'm not sure how I know, being down in the sewers and such, but it's become another sense to me. I smack my tongue lazily against the roof of my mouth when I notice movement out of the corner of my eye. I blink and sit up as much as I can to see all three of my brothers curled up on the couch beside the table.

Raph's sleeping with his head snug on Donnie's chest, and Mikey's passed out on the top of the couch, with one arm and leg dangling over the edge.

A smile warms me up, and all of the sudden, all of the pain and aching I felt through the night is gone. To know that my brothers made a point to come and stay with me while I slept eases my mind. I wasn't alone after all.

I lie there, breathing softly and watching them as they go on sleeping. Mikey's snoring, but it's a quiet kind of snore, like a kid. And seeing Raph curled up with Donnie just boggles my mind. How that happened, I have no clue.

I don't know how much time passes before Mikey starts to twitch, and then slips off the back of the couch and hits the ground with a loud yelp. He jerks from the floor with wide eyes, torn from his sleep, and I can't help but to laugh at the look on his face.

His head snaps in my direction.

"Leo?" A beaming smile lights his expression as he scrambles from the ground. "Dude! You're up!" He whirls around and smacks Raph and Donnie with a pillow.

"Guys, he's awake! Get up!"

Raph's eyes flutter open, and there's already a scowl plastered on his face. He groans. "Not so loud, Mikey. Geez…"

And just because he's Mikey, he gets close and yells at the top of his lungs. "WAKE UP!"

Raph snarls and swats the pillow away. "I'm gonna whack you upside the head if you don't shut up!"

"Well good morning to you too, Sleeping Beauty," I joke, arching a brow. He shoots a glare at me, but it falters slightly—no doubt from seeing me alive and conscious. His face scrunches as he regains his composure, and he goes to make a verbal jab at me when Donnie shifts uncomfortably underneath him.

"Hey, uh, Raph?" he mutters awkwardly. "You mind, um…you know…getting off of me?"

Raph looks down at his positioning and his eyes widen. He swears under his breath and scrambles off of Donnie so fast, it's almost comical.

"Aw, but it was cute," I tease, grinning. Raph's face gets as red as his mask.

"Shut up!" he snaps.

"Ah, gross," Donnie whines. "Were you drooling on me?" He wipes the front of his plastron with a pillow, his face bunched in disgust.

"Hah!" Mikey laughs, practically rolling back on his shell. "So much for Sleeping Beauty, huh Raph?"

He whirls around, seething. "I said shut up, Mikey!"

"You know, I wouldn't peg you for snuggling," I reply snarkily. "But then again, you've always been the clingy one."

His eyes are flaming now. "Don't think I won't hit you just 'cause you're hurt," he spits.

"Aw! Little Raphie wanted to cuddle!" Mikey giggles. "That's adorable!"

Raph snarls and snatches the pillow from Donnie, and Mikey's already half-way across the lab when Raph goes running after him.

"Get back here, you little runt!"

I laugh to myself at the sound of clattering objects and thumping as the two scramble through the lab. Donnie pushes off from the couch, still brushing off the front of his shell.

"Hey, you better not break anything!" he yells. But he sighs and his face slumps in defeat when he realizes that his demands are going unheard. I manage a light laugh, and Donnie turns his gaze back to me, his expression softening.

"Hey, Leo," he says, his voice warming up a bit. "You feeling okay?"

I try to shrug and swallow. "Uh…no, not really. I mean, I'm alive, and that's great—but I feel like I was hit by a bus…" I frown as the reality of it all comes back to me. The pain lingers in my system—not as bad as last night, but definitely not much better. "My leg…and my arm are really hurting." I twist uncomfortably. "And why does my shell feel like it's burning?"

Donnie glances over my and frowns in thought. "You cracked it when you fell." He tilts his head. "Do you…do you remember anything?"

I hesitate for a moment before giving a short nod. "Yeah…sort of."

Donnie shifts awkwardly and opens his mouth like he wants to say something. He rubs his arm, and slowly, his facial expression slumps and contorts into one of shame. He averts his gaze. "Look…Leo, I'm, um… I'm sorry for sending you out… I-I didn't think about what could happen and I shouldn't have—"

"Hey, it's okay," I say softly. "Honestly, I would've gone out anyway… But I didn't expect for any of that to happen…" I frown, remembering the night in short bursts. The look in her eyes, the sudden shift in emotions. The way she came after me, like she was distracting herself from something… I just don't get it.

"I…I don't know what got into her," I confess, feeling the shame come over me for being so foolish.

"You don't know what got into her?" Raph snarls from the other side of the lab. He stomps over, turning his attention away from Mikey, who's effectively evaded Raph's fists by curling up under the sink.

Raph's eyes are blazing, and his body is tense. I remember him being there, but I don't know why. That's when I fell of the roof.

"I've told you, Leo," he growls, jabbing his finger at me. "She's bad news. That snake has turned on you too many times, but you keep trusting her 'cause you've got some stupid crush!"

My cheeks get hot, and I glare at him. "Knock it off, Raph," I mutter. "You don't know what you're talking about."

He scoffs, crossing his arms. "Oh really? Come on, Leo—don't tell me you're that dense. We all see it! Everyone but you knows that she can't be trusted. She's one of them, and worse, she's Shredder's daughter! You honestly think you can believe anything she says?"

I look away from him, and my fists clench at my sides. My head's starting to hurt again…

"I don't care how pretty you think she is; she's a liar and a witch, and you can't keep sticking out your neck because you have feelings for her."

Donnie steps in. "Come on, Raph. Back off for a second—he's hurt—"

"Yeah, and you know why?" he seethes. "Because she hurt him! Again! Seriously, Leo, how many times does something like this have to happen before you get it through your thick head?"

"Just shut up, Raph," I growl.

"No!" he snaps. "I thought you were dead, Leo! I watched you go over the edge, and I was the one who had to carry you back home and explain to everyone what happened! Do you have any idea what that's like?"

My brow knits. I can feel my muscles coiling as the tension rises, as the pain throbs through my body, as the burning flares up my injuries. I already have to deal with the fact that I won't be able to heal for months, and I'm already drowning in all the confusion of what's happened between me and her—I can't deal with this, too.

But he keeps going.

"If I hadn't followed you, she would've killed you, and we wouldn't have even known!"

"She wasn't going to kill me," I snarl. "She was helping me!"

Raph groans. "Oh, come on! She's playing you for a fool, Leo! You can't seriously—"

"Did you hurt her?" I ask. I remember, if that was really Raph, a form crashing into her before I fell over the edge. I heard her cry out in pain. I remember that. "Is she okay?"

He stares at me with wide eyes, and for a moment, he can't think of anything to say. But when he speaks, his voice is dark and bitter and laced with his never-ending rage.

"Not as much as I should have," he spits. "And next time I see her, I'll kill her."

I sit up, prepared to throw myself at him for saying that, but Donnie rushes over and puts a hand on my chest, gently coaxing me back down.

"Leo," he warns, giving me a look that I can't absorb because my mind has gone into a frenzy. Because I know Raph means it. And I know if he got the chance, he'd do it.

"I won't let you," I growl lowly.

"Well it's a good thing I'm not asking for permission," he snaps. And when he sees the look of defiance on my face, he understands the extent of which I'm willing to go, and he scoffs in disbelief.

"I saw her attack you! I saw her and her little soldiers shoot you and corner you on that building!"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Then why was she trying to kill you?!"

"She wasn't!"

"She pushed you off the roof, you idiot—"

"You're the one who knocked me off the roof, Raph!"

Everything gets quiet then. He stares at me, shaking under his anger, and now, under his guilt. Because I remember. Karai was trying to help me escape, but when Raph went after her, he knocked me back. And I fell.

He swallows hard and turns away from us, stomping out from the lab and slamming the door as he leaves. No one says anything for the longest time.

I sigh and lie back down, wincing as the pounding in my skull gets worse. I'm too tired for this…and now I've got to deal with him…

Man, what have I gotten myself into?

Mikey knocks something over as he crawls out from under the sink.

"He didn't…did he?" he asks softly.

"Not on purpose." My nostrils flare with the breath I push from my chest. "But I was drugged, and I wasn't prepared for him to come hurdling between me and Karai. If he had just left us alone…" I trail off, clenching my jaw. I'm mad now. Angry with him, with myself, with my injuries—and because I don't know why Karai started a fight. I'm just hurt and I'm confused and my head feels like it's going to implode and I'm tired of this. And now Raph's going to hate me…and I don't have the strength to argue with him anymore. I just don't have the words.

"He was just trying to help," Mikey adds in that frightened, quiet tone of his that he gets when there's fighting.

"I know, Mikey," I mutter. "But he didn't."

"Can't we all just be cool with each other? I mean—"

"Mikey, Leo's gotta get some more rest," Donnie says firmly, his eyes on the floor. Mikey doesn't say anything for a moment, but then I hear him sigh.

"Yeah…okay. Feel better, Leo."

I listen to the door shut, leaving Donnie and I alone in the lab.

He exhales heavily and rubs his forehead before he heads over to the counter. He starts gathering supplies from under the sink, and I listen for a moment to the sloshing of water and clinking of glass.

"So what did you and Sensei talk about?" he asks after a moment.

My brow knits. I have to shake off the lingering anger. "What?"

"You know, when you were in here and he was wrapping your limbs. Though, you might've been unconscious…"

"He just told me I needed to be more careful," I say simply. Donnie walks over, his arms full of clean towels, his medical box, and some fresh water. He arches a brow at my response.

"That's it?"

I shrug as best as I can. "Yeah…that's it. Why?"

He makes a face. "I don't know… I mean, he kicked all of us out to treat you himself, so I assumed you both had a conversation that we weren't supposed to hear or something." He shrugs as he dips one of the towels in the water. "It was just a thought. Here, arch your back a bit so I can start soaking the fractures in your shell."

I do as he says and wince at the feeling of warm water against the burning cracks. "Ah," I hiss, grimacing. "H-he made you all leave?"

Donnie nods, pressing the wet cloth against the wound and tucking it in on my side to hold it there. "Yeah. He looked awful, Leo. You were injured, and you screamed a bunch when we set your leg. Mikey was terrified."

I don't remember any of that, but my heart sinks a little at the thought of Mikey being scared for my life. I'll have to make it up to him…to all of them.

"Well…he seemed a little off," I recount. "Sensei, I mean. I couldn't tell if he was mad at me or just in pain—or maybe both. It was like there was something he wanted to say, like a tension, you know? But I thought that was just me."

"Hm." Donnie pulls out some jars labeled as different medicines. "He probably just felt bad for always being so rough on you after he saw you in that sort of condition. Makes sense, at least."

I watch him soak some cotton pads in a cleansing solution. "Yeah…"

"Here, can you lean forward a little bit?" he asks. I nod and comply, wincing slightly as I try to sit up. "Thanks." He pauses. "And, uh, this'll hurt—you might wanna bite down on something for a second." He nods at the towels and I grab the nearest one, situating it between my teeth before grunting as a signal to go ahead. I feel the cold first when he begins to clean the deep arrow wound in the back of my shoulder, and then the pain hits. It's like fire, an awful burning sensation. I clamp down on the cloth and stifle a groan. My toes are curling in reaction to the discomfort, which brings more pain down my leg.

"Hang on," he whispers. "And…done."

He dabs away at the wound, and even though he's removed the alcohol, the sting lingers. My nostrils flare with breath as I try to calm myself.

"Now we've got the one on the back of your thigh," he says. I groan and he gives me a look. "Hey, it's this or an infection. You wanna keep that leg, don't you?"

I grumble in response and decide to keep the towel between my teeth. He carefully bends my knee and presses another cotton pad into the hole in my flesh.

My body jerks instantly. "Mmph!"

"I know," he says softly. "Just hold still…"

I'm breathing hard and trying not to kick him out of instinct. My jaw clenches against the fire coursing through me, and I can feel the sweat gathering on my brow.

"There." He finally removes the pad, and I gasp out in relief, spitting the cloth from my mouth and lying back, chest heaving. He opens one of the jars and starts smearing some healing ointment on both of the marks before bandaging them. I lie there patiently and wait while he looks over the rest of my body, mumbling things about the bruising and the fractures and how lucky I am that I'm not dead. He chews on his lip with a bothered look on his face as he sighs and leans against the table.

"This throws a wrench into everything," he grumbles. I frown.

"It's not like I wanted this to happen, Donnie."

"No, Leo—that's not what I'm saying." He pauses and frowns a little. "Well, it is, but it's not the only thing I'm trying to say. It's just that…well, after everything with Mikey, and the robots, and now this… We've got a lot of cleaning up to do. On the streets…and as a family."

I let out a breath and lean my head back against the chilled table.

"Raph's not going to cool down for a long time," he continues. "And I've still got to watch Mikey's recovery process. And now we've got you to worry about. Leo…you're not going to be able to use that leg—or that arm—for months."

I refrain from cringing. "Yeah…I know."

"So what are we supposed to do? We can't go on patrol without you, we can't do missions without you—the whole team is set back for who knows how long, and—"

"I get it, Donnie," I snap. "But what do you want me to do? I can't make myself get better faster, and I can't rewind this whole thing either. So why don't you stop lecturing me about what I already know, and give me some options here?"

He sighs. "That medicine I used for Mikey was directed for epidermal healing. Skin cells and bone cells are different—I can't fix broken legs the same way I did Mikey's burns. I barely have enough mutagen left as it is, and testing alone would use up a huge amount of it."

I close my eyes for a moment in an attempt to calm myself. But the feeling keeps searing through me. Months. Months of hiding down here, doing nothing—no training, no messing around, no patrol—and no Karai. My eyes clench tighter.

"So you're saying you can't do anything about it?" I ask as calmly as I can manage.

"Well, at the moment, no. And I don't know of anything in the near future, either. But…I guess I'll have to try." He pauses, and I see that familiar look cross through his eyes. That look of knowing, of thinking of something crazy enough to possibly work.

"What is it, Donnie?" I ask.

"Hm? Oh. Nothing."

My eyes narrow. He shrinks back a little.

"Well, I-I mean, it's still just an idea, but…"

"Spit it out, Don," I press. "What is it?"

He swallows. "Well, um, you know how we were talking about…that thing…earlier?"

I arch a brow and he clears his throat.

"That thing, Leo…about the mutagen…?"

The human thing?

"Yeah… What about it?"

"Uh…maybe… Well, I can't say for sure, but it might be able to…heal you…during the process."

My eyes widen. "What?"

"You know how the mutagen is powerful enough to practically rewrite the body's biological composition and DNA sequences? I was just thinking, that maybe in doing so, it could restore your skeletal system along the way. I mean, the mutagen is the key ingredient for the medicine I made Mikey."

"But you can't know for sure," I clarify. "And you won't until we try it."

He nods. "Yeah…so that's not a reliable option. I need a few more weeks on that project anyway…and some more mutagen." His eyes light up a little. "Do you think Splinter would authorize missions for us to go find some more?"

I blink. "Without me? I don't know, Donnie. I don't even like the idea of you guys going out by yourselves—"

"Well that's only because you'd be stuck here, and you hate that," he teases. I give him a glare and he clears his throat. "But seriously, Leo—the Technodrome was huge, and I don't doubt it contained massive amounts of mutagen. We could come up with a recon mission to swim down to where it sank, break in, and gather up all of the supplies. It wouldn't be dangerous because the Technodrome is empty now, and think of all we could learn from it! Alien tech, mutagen, blue prints and schemes—it'd be incredible!"

I can see him getting more excited by the second, which makes me queasy. They've never gone out without me before—not like this. I'd have to just sit here and wait? No way!

"Donnie—"

"It's the only way, Leo," he stresses. "I could make some real progress here, and I don't see any other option for us. It'd be one mission, I promise. After that, we'll all stay and train while you heal up. And that'd give me time to come up with a medicine—maybe—and to make the retromutagen to change us. We could really do this! It'll be perfect!"

And I know then that there's no talking him out of it. He's sold, with his bright eyes and technobabble—yep, he's too far gone now for me to convince him of anything else. I sigh and shake my head.

"Alright, Donnie. But Splinter's the one you're going to have to convince of this. So, you know, have fun with that."

"Oh, and I know just what to say!" he shouts enthusiastically. "I'll throw in all that stuff about making a medicine for you to heal faster, and how this can advance my biological studies so injuries will be less of an issue. Trust me, Leo, if I put an emphasis on your well-being, it won't take long to change his mind. He'll totally go for it!"

I purse my lips. "You seem so sure."

"Of course I am," he says flippantly. And when he sees the look on my face, he waves me off. "Come on, how many times have I ever steered us wrong?"

I arch a brow. "I don't know," I grumble. "I'd have to check the list."

He frowns at me. "I've got this, Leo. Trust me. And when Sensei says yes—which he will—the mission will be a cinch. In and out, no problem! And then I can start on the retromutagen, and we can do testing, and it'll totally work, and then everything will finally be perfect and—"

"Whoa there, Genius," I chuckle. "You might wanna slow down for a second. Splinter's permission comes first. Then you can get all googly-eyed and sciencey."

He laughs as he starts packing up the supplies. "Oh, do you want any sedatives? How bad does it hurt?"

My smile is gone in an instant. "You're asking me now if I want pain-killers? After snapping my bone back into place and sticking alcohol swabs into my skin?"

He scoffs. "It wouldn't have made a difference on that level, Leo. Besides…I forgot."

"Donnie."

He smiles sheepishly. "But, uh, here!" He digs out some blue bottle from his little medical box. "I can give you two every five hours, but only for a few days. They're kinda strong…don't want your liver giving out, heh."

He pops off the lid and shakes two oval pills into his palm, dropping them into the glass of water by the edge of the table.

"Drink it slow," he instructs. I glare at him and snatch the glass, tilting my head back and downing it, pills and all, in two gulps. I hand the empty cup back to him and lean back again.

"It'll make you drowsy, by the way," he says off-handedly as he continues cleaning up. "Which means you'll be out cold in about half an hour."

I laugh. "Yeah, well, make sure Mikey doesn't try to draw a mustache on my face in permanent marker again, will you?"

He smirks at me. "No promises."

I frown. "I'm serious, Donnie—"

"I know, I know. Sheesh. I'll keep everyone out of here while you rest."

The silence moves back into the lab while he puts everything in its place and washes his hands. I stare up at the light swaying from the ceiling, already feeling the warmth of sleep approaching. I wish I had these things hours ago.

Donnie finishes up and drums a quick beat along the table with his knuckles.

"Well," he starts, "I guess I'll go talk to Sensei… And I'll make sure Raph isn't turning Mikey inside out or something." He sighs heavily. "Man, it's going to suck with you out like this. I'm going to have to deal with everything…"

I smile wryly. "Well, at least there's a positive side to this whole thing."

~T~

{Donnie}

I clean up the counter and leave Leo alone to rest. He's already drifting off, so when I say goodbye, all I get is a mumbled response. I smile to myself and shut the door behind me.

And sure enough, the moment I step outside of the lab, my eyes land on Raph pinning Mikey to the floor of the living room.

"Call me that one more time, and I'll drown you in the algae pool!"

I sigh and my face slumps. If I try to get between them, Raph will just beat me up. He's not going to listen to me; he only ever listens to Leo, and that's after Leo fights him off.

Man…I'm going to regret this so much...

"Get off of him, Raph," I start. Maybe if I hit him really hard with my bo staff...

Raph looks up at me and arches a brow. "What'd you say, Donnie?"

I swallow. I can see it in his eyes—he already knows I'm scared of him.

Dang it, Leo—this is your job.

I huff out a breath and try to sound as threatening as I can. "I said to get off of him. Now."

He glares at me, but then a smile creeps over his face, and my heart skips. Crap, crap crap—

He shoves Mikey to the floor and gets up, cracking his knuckles. "You got five seconds to run, D."

And boy, do I make the most of those.

~T~

{Mikey}

Somewhere in there, Raph managed to chase down Donnie—he's got those long legs, so he's pretty fast—and now he's wrestling him to the floor.

"Ah! Sensei! SENSEI!"

I'm on the rug in the living room, watching Raph try to strangle Donnie with the ends of his mask. I thought about trying to stop him a few times, and if he didn't already tie my arms and legs over my head with my own mask, I might've.

Donnie's practically squealing now. "SENSEI!"

I'll have to remember to make Donnie some extra dessert for being such a good brother.

"GAH—Raph, stop—I can't breathe—"

"You shoulda thought about that before you tried to tell me what to do!"

"Get off of me!"

The sound of doors swinging open makes me jump, but not nearly as much when Sensei shouts.

"YAME!"

Everything stops then. Donnie and Raph both look up at Sensei, who's standing on the steps with his fingers clenched around his staff and a super not-good look on his face. It's the kind of look that he gives before he either beats you or grounds you—usually both.

"Raphael, go to your room. Now!"

Raph growls something under his breath, and Sensei has to hit the end of his staff into the ground to get Raph moving. I watch him stomp off down the hall, and not a second later, his door slams.

"What is the meaning of this, Donatello?" Splinter snaps, clearly unamused. But I thought it was kind of funny.

Donnie coughs a little as he struggles to unwrap the ends of his mask from his neck.

"H-He was messing with Mikey again, so I told him to stop."

Splinter looks towards me and I give him a big, innocent smile. He sighs and steps over to me, slipping the end of his staff between the knots Raph tied in my mask. With a single tug, he loosens the entire thing, and I collapse on my face.

"Thanks," I mumble.

"And what were you doing that led Raphael to attack you?" Splinter questions, brow arched.

My nostrils flare with a frustrated breath and I pull myself off the ground.

"I was just joking around," I mutter. "Trying to lighten the mood…"

Splinter tilts his head and looks to Donnie to explain.

"Raph and Leo…had a little argument this morning," Donnie says quietly.

Splinter looks us over and sighs. "I see." He stands there, and the room gets really quiet for a minute or two before he glances back at me.

"Michelangelo, it would be wise of you to find another way to entertain yourself at the moment. Perhaps going to your room and reading something will suffice..." His eyes narrow a little. "Quietly, if you will."

I swallow and pick my mask off the floor. "Yeah…okay." He clears his throat and I quickly add, "Hai, Sensei."

He nods at my self-correction and turns to Donnie. "Donatello, I would advise you to do the same—"

"Actually, Sensei," Donnie interrupts timidly. "I was wondering if I could, um…maybe talk to you about something for a second. I-If that's alright."

Splinter pauses, glancing at Donnie with an intrigued and slightly cautious look in his eyes. "You may." I frown to myself a little bit because these "talks" never include me. Of course, they usually have nothing to do with me, but that's beside the point. I still wanna know.

Splinter gestures towards his room for Donnie and nods for me to leave. I stand there and watch the two of them close themselves off behind the sliding doors. I sigh and wring my wrists in a restless manner, because I really don't want to be alone right now. But Leo's resting, and Raph...well, he's not exactly "sociable" at the moment. Realizing that I really have nothing to do but bide my time, I purse my lips and trudge off towards my room. Maybe I'll take a nap or something and wait for everything to smooth over.

Then again…

I stop a few feet from my door and glance back at the lab. I bet Donnie has some cool stuff to mess around with for a bit. And even if Leo is asleep, he could sure use the company.

And maybe a mustache.

~T~

{Donnie}

"What did you wish to speak to me about, my son?" Splinter asks, idly rearranging and lighting two of the candles on the shelves along the wall. I stand in the center of the room, trying to recite it all in my head, but I know the moment I open my mouth, I'll forget all of it anyway.

"Well, uh, Sensei…" I pause to take a deep breath. I sure made it sound simple when I was talking to Leo, but now that I'm standing in front of Splinter, I suddenly feel like an idiot. He's not going to let us go on missions without Leo—especially now after two of us have been badly injured. What was I even thinking? This was a horrible idea, and now I have nothing to say to him and he's standing there watching Donnie the slack-jawed idiot freeze himself to the floor because he can't think straight and why don't I ever listen to Leo—

"Are you alright, Donatello?" Splinter's calm voice breaks the seven trains of thought that were just about to collide and explode in my head.

I straighten and clear my throat. "Uh, you know, it was stupid, actually, so I should just head back to my lab and—"

"I am quite sure that it was not stupid," he says, eyeing me. "You may speak your mind with me, my son."

I would if I could, but my mind isn't exactly functioning properly at the moment…

I swallow hard, shifting my weight from one foot to another. "Uh, well… I noticed I was running low on the mutagen I need to make medicine and the like, so I was wondering… Well, I was thinking that maybe you could authorize the three of us to go on a recon mission."

His brow arches and I can sense a defensive, fearful shift in his demeanor. "A mission? Without Leonardo?"

"J-Just to the Technodrome!" I clarify hastily. "It runs—or ran—on mutagen. Now that the Kraang are defeated, I just thought it'd be a waste not to dive down to where the ship sank and replenish our mutagen supply. Not to mention that I've no doubt there's some really helpful tech down there too—and now that I've figured out how to make medicine from the mutagen, I thought that this could be a really great opportunity to futher my testing."

I can tell I haven't convinced him all the way, so before he can shoot me down, I throw out my trump card.

"Maybe I could find a way to help Leo?"

He stops at that and looks at me, questioningly. I refrain from smiling.

Got him.

"Could you replicate the results you had with Michelangelo?" he asks cautiously. I have to be honest, so I give a little shrug. No use in lying completely to him.

"I can't make any promises, Sensei. After all, it's all so new. Epidermal healing seemed simple enough, but even that took weeks of trials and testing. I'm actually surprised it worked as well as it did." I sigh. "And as you know, Leo's condition runs a little deeper… To be honest, I don't even know where to start with stimulating bone cell growth, but I figured… Well, I figured I at least have to try."

He strokes the strands of his thin beard as he thinks it over, and I stand there patiently until he finally sighs.

"What would this mission require from you and your brothers?"

This time I allow a smile. "The Technodrome's at the bottom of the East River, so we'd simply have to use the submarine to swim down there. Leo kind of blew that whole thing apart anyway, so I can't imagine anything else being down there but supplies and busted Kraang tech. Plus it's been submerged a few hundred feet under the water for a while now…"

"Hm." He straightens and tightens both of his hands around his jade staff. "If you are sure there is no danger, then you and your brothers may go. But I would like you to wait a few days and see if you can make sure there are no remaining threats, as you claim."

I nod slowly. "Sure, Sensei. I still have the Kraang's communication orb, so assuming that all the electrical systems haven't been completely destroyed, I might be able to hack into the Technodrome's surveillance."

"Good."

I stand there awkwardly for another moment. He turns to me again.

"Is there something else, my son?"

I chew on my lip, wondering whether or not I should say anything. My mind is racing with all the possibilities of my experiments, and what this new supply of mutagen will grant me. And I wonder for a moment if I should say anything to Sensei about my…project. But I know that I don't have it in me to come clean about what I've been studying. He wants us to be happy here, just the way we are. But I just have to know…

"What was it like to be human, Sensei?" I ask quietly. I see his eyes shift and waver in his recollections, and I wonder for a brief moment if I had spoken out of line.

But he just exhales heavily and glances back at the picture he keeps of his family on the shelf.

"Through my experiences, Donatello, I have come to learn many valuable things. After spending fifteen years in this new body of mine, I have realized that appearances are only a mask—a façade. True humanity lies not with the flesh, but within the spirit."

"Oh." That's all I can get out at the moment.

"Why do you ask?"

"Um…I was just wondering if you ever missed your old life," I say quickly.

"Missing my old life will not bring it back," he explains somberly. "It is important to keep your eyes on what you have before you now, so when the day comes that you should lose it, you will know how to carry the spirit of it with you. We must learn from what we can, while we can…and be joyful while this life allows it." He looks at me and I can see the softness of a father in his eyes. "We cannot take steps back. Only forward."

I nod obediently, noting the sad pang in my chest and quickly shuffling it away.

"Hai, Sensei… And thank you. I'll let you know if I find anything on the Technodrome."

He dips his head. "Good. You may go, my son."

I give a short bow and turn towards the door, leaving his room. I slide the door shut behind me and sigh heavily, still trying to shake the weird feeling Sensei's speech gave me. Is that guilt? Worry?

I groan and rub my temples in an attempt to remove the feelings. I can't think like that right now—not when I'm so close. I just want to try, and then I can put it all behind me. As soon as I find out for myself…

I head for my lab, knowing that my studies will scrape the conflicting thoughts from my mind. I push open the door and my eyes widen when I see Mikey hunched over Leo's sleeping form with a colorful array of markers in his fist.

"Mikey!" I snap.

His gaze flickers up to meet mine.

"Oh… Heh… Hey, D." He quickly stashes the markers under the table and points down at Leo dramatically. "Gasp! Someone defaced Leo's face with the rainbow!"

My fingers clench around the door handle and I grit my teeth. "Mikey…"

He gives me his infamous "Please don't kill me" smile.

"I, uh…didn't do it?"

I slam the door shut behind me. "You have five seconds to start running."