Gamelover41592: I think you know what is coming…
Matt (Guest): Well Squid Baron making sense isn't exactly something he's known for.
After a very long absence, I have RETURNED!...to my least favorite part of the game. Yay. Although I am going to have some fun with this chapter as one thing that I felt was a big missed opportunity with Jasmine on the show was not having her use more Australian slang. I've already thrown in a few, but I now have a list with me when I write. Relax, that won't be all I do with her from now on. I will translate anything new I use that you all most likely don't know.
Upon their return to Scuttle Town, Jasmine and Shantae were quickly stopped by a guard, who told them to find the Mayor. He apparently wanted to speak to them.
"After what he did to us...no way I want to help that fat bludger," Jasmine grunted as she crossed her arms.
"Same here," Shantae huffed. "But he might want something for the town and I personally want my job back,"
"Fine," Jasmine grumbled, still not anymore pleased with the idea of having to help the guy who fired her earlier that day. His happy place, as the guard put it, was near the bay outside of town. Jasmine wasn't surprised to find him doing what he does best, sleeping. He woke up when he saw the two of them.
"Oh, you two," He said once he saw the two of them. "I suppose you're both still angry with me."
"You could say that, ya bogan," Jasmine snarled. Shantae just crossed her arms. The Mayor just sighed.
"Word has spread. Now that Risky Boots is plotting revenge, Sequin Land Palace is afraid to send wagons," He admitted. "Without our fishing trade, Scuttle Town is all washed up. I was hoping not to resort to this, but here." He then handed the town deed to the girls.
"What are we gonna do with this?" Jasmine asked. "Although, running the town might be kinda fun. Plus we'd do a better job then you."
"A wealthy man from beyond the wastelands has been pressuring me to sell the town. I resisted, of course. But now his offer is the only hope for our people. So, after much thought I've decided to turn the reins over to him." He explained. "Life will never be the same, but at least Scuttle Town will be provided for."
"There has to be some other way!" Shantae exclaimed.
"You can't just give up!" Jasmine added, although she also knew he totally would.
"If only there was," The mayor said. "But I fear that making a tidy profit on the town moments before it's obliterated is the only solution. Please honor my request as a final act as service. Find the Ammo Baron and give him the deed." Both girls just nodded their heads and walked off. Once they were out of earshot, Jasmine spoke up.
"Well...at least we're getting another magic seal out of this," Jasmine said, trying to cheer up her little sister.
"I guess," Shantae said sadly.
"C'mon, let's see if anyone in town can tell us where to find this guy," Jasmine said.
"Wrench spotted a tent while flying over the desert. Maybe it's where this Ammo Baron guy set up," Sky said once the two girls arrived in her house. Bolo was also there.
"I also think there is a Tower out in the desert. Maybe it's his," Bolo said. "Although, I heard he was really dangerous. Or maybe it was the Armor Baron that was dangerous,"
"Thanks for the advice you two," Jasmine said.
"And thanks for the warning, Bolo!" Shantae said.
"Uh...no problem. I bet you could take him easy!" Bolo added quickly. Both were trying to keep a blush down.
"Just kiss already!" Jasmine and Sky both thought.
The desert was plagued with more monsters, but the girls took them down easy. There were also several caves, most of which held secrets. And also more monsters. But overall, it was nothing the girls weren't already used to. Much like Sky had said, there was a tent, which was surrounded by a couple soldiers.
"The skull sign is a little worrying," Shantae said while looking at said sign, which was also right next to the tent.
"Like your boyfriend said, we can take this guy," Jasmine said.
"You said it Jasm-," Shantae began only to realize exactly what her older sister had said. Instantly, her face matched her clothing in color. "He is not my boyfriend!"
"Whatever," Jasmine said as she walked inside the tent, Shantae following once she had claimed herself down. Ammo Baron was a muscular cyclops dressed in armor.
"Kablooey! Who are you, ka-pow?" He asked when he saw the girls walk in. "The Ammo Baron doesn't need another girlfriend! What he DOES need is that rundown rat's hole Scuttle Town! It's the perfect staging ground for my new campaign! My men will march across the land like two tons of tactical tin toy terror!"
"He is making me really not want to give it to him," Jasmine whispered to her sister while the Ammo Baron continued.
"Tell me about it," Shantae whispered back.
"That's our home you're talking about!" Jasmine exclaimed out loud.
"Hold up, tall lady," Ammo Baron said. "You got something for the Ammo Baron or not? Ammo Baron hasn't got all day!"
"Against all personal sense of reason I have, here," Jasmine said as Shantae handed him the deed.
"Yeehaw! I knew that old coot would knuckle under!" Ammo Baron cheered as he snatched it up. "I've got the deed to Scuttle Town! That makes the new mayor ME! The Ammo Baron!"
"Yeah, well about that…" Jasmine began.
"All of our friends live in Scuttle Town, and we're pretty happy with things the way they are!" Shantae finished. Both girls knew they could handle him. He laughed.
"Don't you worry about a thing sweethearts! We're all family now! In fact, with me as your new mayor, that makes you two my official citizens!" Ammo Baron said before offering a high five. "Put 'er there, soldiers!" When both girls took it(reluctantly), he then handed them both passports.
"A passport?" Jasmine asked.
"What's this for?" Shantae added in.
"That there's your official Ammo Town Passport and activity book!" Ammo Baron explained.
"Oh god, you already renamed the town!?" Jasmine exclaimed. This was going to be fun.
"New mayor, new name!" Ammo Baron replied. "But don't worry! So now that you're my gals…"
"Call me that again and I will rip out your spine," Jasmine said bluntly. Ammo Baron didn't seem to care.
"...and I'm your official lordship, why don't you two enlist into my private army! We've even got an open air shower!" Ammo Baron finished.
"No thanks," Jasmine said.
"We've got other business to attend to, er...far to the right of here," Shantae said quickly.
"Okay, I getcha. You both look like a spry young thing. Why not train those bods at my private Battle Tower? It's citizens only! And it's ladies night!" Ammo Baron offered
"Battle Tower?" Shantae asked. Jasmine couldn't stop her grin. That sounded awesome.
"Sure, you can't miss it," He replied. "Just flash'em your passports to get in. Make to the top and win a prize! Tell'em Ammo Baron sent ya." With that the two left.
"Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Jasmine asked.
"I have no idea," Shantae replied. "I can't even understand you talking half the time,"
Rolling her eyes at her sister for still not understanding her slang, Jasmine replied, "That guy was a baron. We do this tower, we could get the seal!"
"Then, what are we waiting for?" Jasmine asked. With that, they were off.
When they arrived, the girls were greeted by a man wearing clothes similar to the Ammo Baron.
"Name's Barracuda Joe, and this here's the battle tower. You two got passports?" He asked.
"Right here," Jasmine said as she and Shantae pulled out their respective passports. With a quick glance, he gave a nod.
"Battle Tower rules are simple. Entry fee's twenty gems. Clock starts once you pass through that door. Beat the clock and you win," Joe explained. "Also, a lot of folks died trying so...good luck," The girls paid and they were off. From there, it was a non stop rush of monsters and enemies. Jasmine was having a blast. She had been wanting something to take her rage out on since they were told to give the deed to the Ammo Baron in the first place. Fittingly, with that combined with both girls's fighting skills, they made it up the tower with little problem.
"Seems like I was right," Jasmine said when she saw a magic seal waiting for them at the top.
"Well then, let's grab it and get out of here!" Shantae said as she quickly scooped it up.
"Looks like we got a winner!" Barracuda Joe once the girls returned. "Let's see what you found up there!"
"Uhh…" Shante began.
"What's that?" Joe asked when he noticed her holding the magic seal. "A magic squeal? I thought Ammo Baron only kept valuable treasures up there!"
"Yep, just pure junk!" Jasmine said quickly, moving her hand over Shantae's mouth, preventing her from talking.
"Shoot, that's embarrassing," Joe said. "Tell you what. We've got other stuff up there too, like actual cash prizes. Somethin' worth somethin'. So come back anytime for a rematch, and I'll set you up with some real prizes you can use. We'll track your best scores and all that...make it really worth your while. And just so there's no hard feelings, take this here." He then handed the girls a key.
"Thanks mate," Jasmine said as she tipped her hat. Then they walked outside. Risky jumped down. Clearly she had been waiting for them.
"Risky Boots!" Shantae exclaimed. "We had a feeling you would show up!"
"I'm afraid my patience for you two is starting to wear thin. Why don't you hand over both magic seals now, and save yourselves and your dear uncle from any further unpleasantness?" Risky said.
"Never!" Shantae vowed
"Leave him out of this!" Jasmine ordered. Risky merely chuckled.
"Fine, we'll do this the hard way. You'll both beg for mercy in the end! You'll see!" Risky replied before jumping off.
"I want to see what this key does!" Shantae said once Risky was out of ear shot.
"I think uncle mentioned somewhere in the forest that needed a key," Jasmine said. Shantae rushed off, but Jasmine trailed behind. She had always been the more savvy one of the duo and she could tell something was off. If Risky wanted them so bad...why wasn't she fighting harder for the seals?
Jasmine could tell something was wrong with this. Maybe she should see if she could find a way to smash the seals.
The battle tower was not as fun as I made it sound. I can assure you of that. I do like Ammo Baron though. He is pretty funny and was pretty reasonable in this game(unlike Pirate's Curse). Anyways, see you next time when we tackle our final baron.
Slang translations
Bludger: Someone who's lazy
Bogan: Someone who's not very sophisticated