Gamelover41592: Thanks
Okay, if you played the game, then you most likely remember Tan Line Island the best out of any of the others, outside of maybe the next one. If you haven't...well...I think you will enjoy this either way. Let's get going.
"So what exactly did Sky want with us?" Jasmine asked as they walked towards the bird trainer's house.
"Something about meeting a boyfriend," Shantae replied. Risky wouldn't be happy, but Jasmine didn't really care about what she thought. But they still didn't tell her. Inside of Sky's home was Barracuda Joe as well as Sky's mother. They knew she was a nice lady, if a little embarrassing.
"Shantae, look who decided to make a surprise visit," Sky said when she saw the two walk in, her voice barely hiding her disdain.
"How are ya, ma'am?" Jasmine asked, doing her best to stay formal.
"On cloud nine!" Sky's mom replied. "When I heard that my sweet, widdle, bedwetting baby bunsies found herself a handsome young, I just had to come and meet him! Oooooh, look at his fun hat!"
"Pleasure ma'am. Yer got quite a gal here," Barracuda Joe replied.
"Wait, you hooked up with JOE!?" Jasmine exclaimed. Shantae's jaw dropped. They were not expecting that.
"Heh heh… I caught him removing one of my bird's nests and we got to talking...over coffee...and...well, I guess we hit it off!" Sky explained to her still flabbergasted friends.
"She 'bout broke my arm bein' causin' of the bird I done touched," Joe clarified.
"Soon there will be the sounds of wedding bells and piles of crying babies!" Sky's mom gushed, while Jasmine and Shantae fought back snickers.
"Mom!" A horribly embarrassed Sky cried.
"Shove over kids, heavy load incoming!" A voice from outside called out. Everyone turned to Sky's father walk in. He was carrying something on his back. "Owtch! There goes the back! Hope I hold out long enough to see these two lovebirds tie the knot before I croak."
"Oh daddy," Sky said. "I'm sure you'll make it!" Her dad gave a small smile before turning to Barracuda Joe, looking him over.
"This the guy," He asked.
"Sir," Barracuda Joe replied formally.
"What'cha do for a living Joe?" Sky's dad asked.
"I tears down schools and what's converts'em to long range cannons," Joe replied bluntly.
"That'll work," Sky's dad replied equally as bluntly. "My daughter could do a lot worse."
"Daddy!" Sky cried, yet again embarrassed. This is why she moved away from home in the first place!
"Also she smells like the barn I was raised in," Joe added in.
"Hold up now!" Sky's dad ordered. "Look at you now, daughter! I swear you were just in diapers and pigtails yesterday! Lay off the marshmallow spread, girl! You've gone as plump as a partridge!"
"Honey! Don't embarrass our little girl," Sky's mom chastised him. "She's just puffing up to attract a mate. Oh! I think it's working! Hoo hoo!"
"Bah," Sky's dad replied. "Have a look at this, now! Brought you guys a genuine artifact from a lost world. You can use it ta spruce up the place. Give it some culture!"
"Right, he's a relic hunter like Mimic!" Shantae remembered. Sky's dad would sometimes take them on expeditions.
"I can decorate on my own, thanks," Sky assured her father.
"What do you think of it, Joe?" Her dad asked.
"I'll have ter get real close to read it…" Joe said as he walked over to it. "It gots a message wrote on'un...It says here…'Death ter them what reads it'. Hmph. I feel a bit unnatural." Suddenly, Joe was turned to stone, with a spirit coming out of him.
"DADDY WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Sky exclaimed. Jasmine and Shantae just looked at each other, not sure of what to say. They chose to slink out while Sky fought with her parents.
"I'm almost happy to continue with this after that mess," Jasmine thought to herself when they arrived at the next island.
"According to the map, this is Tan Line Island," Shantae said once they got off the ship. "It's hot!"
"It's pretty hot back home," Jasmine pointed out.
"Don't let the immense heat distract you. There's a den of evil here," Risky ordered. "Find it and destroy it without delay!"
"We'll go and have a look-see," Shantae assured her. "You just leave everything to us!" With that, they were off, but suddenly, Shantae remembered something. "Shoot! I forgot!"
"Forgot what?" Jasmine asked.
"I promised Bolo I would let him help out a little with my next adventure," Shantae admitted. "But there is no way Risky well let him on the ship!"
"Tell you what. You keep searching here and I'll fly back to town and grab him," Jasmine said. Shantae pulled her into a hug.
"You're the best Jas!" Shantae said before running off. Jasmine shifted into dragon form before flying back to town.
"You're the best Jas!" Bolo said. Jasmine couldn't help but smile at how in sync Shantae and Bolo could be sometimes. Bolo wasn't very hard to find. He had been trying to make himself useful around town. Upon return to the island, however, Jasmine noticed that Risky was missing from the ship.
"Where did she run off?" Jasmine wondered aloud.
"Shantae?" Bolo asked.
"No, Risky," Jasmine replied. Seeing that he was confused, she continued. "Risky never leaves her ship. So her missing is bugging me."
"Maybe she went to that big temple over there?" Bolo offered, pointing at said temple.
"Hmm...that would make sense," Jasmine said. "C'mon mate!" Once they arrived at the temple, they noticed several very strong looking guards. Jasmine quickly realized it would be best to stay out of sight. Bolo, however, didn't, requiring Jasmine to pull him behind cover.
"Hey! We could take those guys!" Bolo protested.
"Not denying that, but I want to make sure they are enemies before we-" Jasmine began to explain, only to notice a guard carrying a very familiar set of clothes.
"That's Shantae's outfit!" Bolo exclaimed.
"Okay, they are enemies!" Jasmine said quickly. She shifted into a rhino. "You wanna rush to her rescue?"
"I thought you would never ask," Bolo said as he climbed onto her.
"Hang on!" Jasmine ordered before charging through the front door.
"Both of you stop laughing!" Shantae ordered. She was getting ready to make an escape when her cell door was smashed open by Jasmine and Bolo. Both, however, quickly took notice of her new outfit: a barely there golden bikini and headdress. Jasmine could barely breathe she was laughing so hard. Bolo managed to recover, only to get a good look at what she was wearing.
"That's a good look for you," Bolo said with a grin. Shantae blushed as she tried to use the cape to cover up.
"Let's just find a way out," Shantae groaned.
"We smashed the cell door open," Jasmine pointed out. Shantae peaked out to see the large trail of carnage the duo left in their wake.
"Look, they think I'm a princess, so if you two take me, they will think you are kidnapping a princess," Shantae pointed out. "So we have to go for stealth,"
"Fine," Jasmine grumbled. "They had it coming,"
"Oh my god!" Jasmine cried before bursting into laughter once again. Rottytops had also been mistaken for the princess.
"Rottytops?" Shantae asked. "But we left you back on Spiderweb Island!"
"I didn't want to miss out on the fun, so I followed you guys!" Rottytops explained. "Look, we both have matching outfits! Now we can be princesses together! How come Jasmine didn't get one?"
"Because I got lucky," Jasmine replied as she tried to stop her laughing fit.
"Rottyyyyyy! We've gotta get out of here, fast!" Shantae pointed out.
"Ok, I'll go," Rotty promised. "But I'm keeping this outfit!" With that, she headed out.
"Geez, how many princesses are there?" Bolo asked.
"I think just one," Jasmine replied.
"Let's not find that out," Shantae said. "Besides, it's not like they could make the same mistake three times!"
"I stand corrected," Shantae bluntly grumbled. Bolo and Jasmine ended up in laughing fits once again, as they discovered Sky had also been mistaken for the princess. "What are you doing here?"
"I flew here to find a cure for Joe! What's your excuse?" Sky replied. "And you two, knock it off!"
"We're trying!" Bolo protested before collapsing into another laughing fit, causing Sky to kick him.
"Hey! Knock it off!" Shantae snapped. "As for why we are here...uh…"
"Fine, don't tell me," Sky interrupted. "Lets just find a way out of this madhouse! And put some clothes on for crying out loud! Ugh, how am I supposed to walk in these shoes!?"
"Hey, you think Risky ended up here?" Jasmine asked.
"That would be amazing," Bolo joked.
"Risky, is that you?" Shantae asked once they opened another door. Bolo and Jasmine ended up in yet another laughing fit.
"Who else would it be?" Risky snapped. "I came looking for you and your sister, and instead I found this place. The simpletons mistook me for some silly princess and locked me in here,"
"Same here," Shantae admitted. "I sent Jasmine back to home to grab Bolo, and they let me out."
"I'll pound those imbeciles into fish paste when I get my hand on them," Risky vowed. As proud of her body as she was, this was a little too much for her. "We're wasting time, let's go!" The group then ran out. They found Rottytops and Sky trying to pull down a giant rope. Shantae and Risky quickly jumped on.
"Uh, I don't think you guys are heavy enough," Bolo pointed out.
"Blondie here does make for some excellent ballast," Risky snarked.
"Excuse me?" Sky snapped. "You probably weigh as much as a lead balloon! Or two." Bolo and Jasmine shared a glance as the girls continued to fight, before walking over to the rope. Bolo jumped on(making sure to cover his eyes), while Jasmine shifted into an elephant and yanked down. This opened up the door.
"You're welcome," Jasmine said before walking through the door. Outside was the high adviser as well as a statue of a giant, fat lady wearing the same clothes as the girls. Jasmine was the first to connect the dots and promptly doubled over laughing yet again. It took Bolo a little longer to figure it out, but he soon joined his friend on the floor.
"Princess! You've arrived at last!" The adviser greeted Shantae, who was the first one he saw. "Behold! A glittering statue of your vast magnificence!"
"That's supposed to be me?!" Shantae exclaimed. She was already annoyed and Bolo and Jasmine's laughing was only making it worse.
"Ah, but yes! It is your exact likeness!" The high adviser assured her. He then noticed the other girls. "But lo...do my eyes deceive me? Princess, there are four of you! But...but each of you looks perfectly identical to this humongous, titanic, rotund, corpulent, and bulgingly beautiful, pleasantly plump statute!" Bolo and Jasmine stopped laughing and looked at each other. This stopped being funny and had just turned into being sad. And both knew he was dead. You never insult a lady's weight.
"That's it!" Risky snapped. "Wring his throat!" Suddenly, a woman who did match the statute walked over, holding a shopping bag.
"Wh-what's this?!" The adviser exclaimed. "Princess! There you are! Where in the world have you been!?"
"I went shopping you moron!" The princess snapped. "And in the thirty minutes I was gone, you somehow managed to mistake four other girls for me! How do you still have your job!?" She then turned to face the others. "I am so sorry about this. I have been trying to get this clown fired for years now! This happens almost every time I go anywhere!"
"But...I can't...this…" Shantae stuttered.
"It's….fine," Jasmine managed out. "But if you could help our friends here find their clothes, that would be a great help,"
"Of course," The princess assured her.
"Thanks for the laughs though!" Bolo said. Risky promptly kicked him in his nuts, causing him to double over in pain. "I guess I had that coming…"
Once the girls got their outfits back(and Bolo recovered from the kick to his manhood), Shantae, Jasmine and Bolo continued onwards. They ended up making a quick stop to snag another Cacklebat, but quickly found their way into the next dungeon. It was a series of catacombs from under the island. Working together, the threesome managed to make their way through, with Shantae managing to grab Risky's scimitar on the way. Upon reaching the boss chamber, they were greeted by a familiar face.
"Hey, it's that squid guy!" Bolo exclaimed upon seeing Squid Baron.
"You better believe I am! Since you've been ignoring me for so long!" Squid Baron said.
"Mate, we've help ya out twice already," Jasmine pointed out.
"Well, you didn't help me where any readers could see me. I've been reduced to a noodle incident!" Squid Baron said. Bolo, Jasmine and Shantae all looked at each other, not sure how to react to any of what this guy was saying. He had always been a little nuts.
"Uh...what are you talking about?" Shantae asked, still confused.
"...Answer me this," Squid Baron ordered. "How many maps have you found?"
"What are you talking about?" Jasmine asked.
"How much of Risky's stuff have you found? About half, right?" Squid Baron continued. "Filler Boss. It's my density, I see that now. I won't try to escape it."
"You're scaring us mate," Jasmine admitted, still readying herself for a brawl.
"You and me both," Squid Baron admitted. "But I won't hide from fate! I'm going to be the best filler boss of all time! Old hat! Recycled moves! All of it! Bring it on, you three! Let's boogie down!" Much like he claimed, Squid Baron was using several old tricks, such as charging into the walls, slamming onto the ground to cause shockwaves, and healing himself with food. Once the trio dealt enough damage, he pulled out sparklers and summoned metal body armor, which Shantae was able to shatter with a slam of her sword. From there, not much changed, letting them defeat Squid Baron with ease.
"Sorry about that mate, but ya forced us into it," Jasmine said.
"Are you kidding?" Squid Baron asked. "That was amazing! That beatdown! It was just what I needed to reawaken my fighting spirit! I'm a great chapter filler today and I'll be an even better one next time! Anyways, take this," He then handed Shantae a map before leaving. The threesome shrugged before making their way out.
"Hey, Bolo? Thanks for your help. We couldn't have done it without you," Shantae said before planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Uh...no problem…" Bolo said, blushing. "But, uh, I think I've had my share of adventures for a while, so if you could take me back home, that would be great."
"No problem!" Shantae said before looking around. "Sky should be back home by now. And I don't see Rottytops anywhere. Let's head back to the dock. I think we need to check up on everything anyways," Thanks to Jasmine, they were able to make it back to Risky's ship rather quickly.
"If you're through wasting time, maybe we can finally get back to work!" Risky snapped as soon as she saw the three arrive.
"What happened to Sky and Rottytops?" Shantae asked.
"Let's just say I showed them the door," Risky admitted.
"What does that mean!?" Bolo demanded, pulling out his ball and chain.
"Would you relax, they're fine!" Risky snapped, causing Bolo to lower his weapon. "Now, did you find the den of evil?"
"And your sword," Jasmine replied as Shantae held out the weapon in question.
"Wish I'd had that earlier," Risky grumbled. "I'd have spilled the innards of a certain incompetent chieftain!" Shantae looked horrified, while Jasmine and Bolo didn't see to care. "You make a lousy pirate. Let's have a look at that map," Bolo handed it to her. Risky looked over it, while making sure Bolo didn't move his eyes to wear they didn't belong. She noticed he was holding Shantae's hand as well. She didn't say anything, continuing to look over the map.
So I did have to change some of Squid Baron's dialogue to match the fact that this is a fanfic and not a game, but I still think it works. And I think I managed to make Tan Line Island even funnier, but that's your guys call. See you...whenever next time is as Bug Fables is amazing and you should all play it!