Chapter Fifty-Six

Severus was not dead.

The thought was hardly a comfort.

It was not mercy.

It was simply a chance.

A test.

The Dark Lord entirely willing to allow Severus to die for his incompetence. His inability to see Regulus Black for who he truly was. For his failure at making the connection between the man and Albus Dumbledore.

But if Severus could, somehow, see to it that he survived the punishment; then so be it.

He could live.

Impossible.

Severus groaned, hand curling and grasping against the dirt, as he attempted to drag himself across the cemetery; fruitlessly. A futile attempt. Every movement sending further shockwaves throughout his body, wracking him from his head right to the ends of his fingers and his toes, and he whimpered as he slumped, weakly, in the dirt.

Pathetic.

But, then, he ought to cut himself some slack; he was dying, after all.

Death, perhaps, would have been mercy in this case. Slowly bleeding out in a cemetery, as the snake venom slithered within his veins, agonisingly taking grasp of his organs, was hardly a dignified way to go. Particularly considering the vomit that stained the front of his robes.

How appropriate, that he should die here, in the dreariest place imaginable. A cemetery. Surrounded by the dead; cold and dark and sinister, haunted by those who had fallen years before. He wondered if any within it had died as a result of him, his own actions, his role in the war.

Severus allowed his cheek to press to the dirt; breaths rasping out, slowly, the end near. He didn't want to think about that. About the dead. About the war. About Regulus who, perhaps, had already met the same fate that lingered just a whisper away.

His eyes closed. And he saw Lily.

Yes. He could die thinking about Lily.

Bright and smiling and passionate and persistent and infuriating. Green eyes that would gaze upon him with so much trust, trust he had not earned nor deserved, but she granted it to him anyway; though that softness in her eyes could change in a moment, a flash and there was her passionate fury or her frustration or, when he was having a particularly good day, her desire.

"Fuck," he breathed and he tasted the dirt on his tongue when his lips parted against the ground.

It was hardly the taste that had haunted his senses ever since her lips had pressed against his, the first time, and all the times ever since. He released a puff of air, a meek attempt at blowing out the muck, as he rolled onto his stomach, face fully in the dirt for a second, before he slid an arm up beneath himself; resting his forehead against his forearm as he clutched his wand tight.

It was impossible.

He would splice.

Too weak even to push himself upright.

But, then, what did he have to lose?

Minutes. Minutes and then the venom would finally take hold, the wounds from the curse he, himself, had invented as a child at Hogwarts would overcome him; the blood loss and the agony pushing him over the edge, from haze into unconsciousness until, finally, death would come for him.

At least if he spliced himself it might speed up the process a bit.

He flexed his hand, tightening his grip upon his wand once again, and pushed thoughts of Lily away; thought of Hogwarts.

Hogwarts.

Willed it with every last ounce of strength he had and, with a swirl of the hand, disapparated.

He landed with a jolt and he groaned at the agony as it pierced through him, and he felt himself convulse on the ground upon impact. Peered through slit eyelids, and, yes, there they were. The gates of Hogwarts not so far in the distance.

But he was in the Forbidden Forest.

Splendid.

Rather than dying in a cemetery with the dead, he would instead be discovered in the morning by children – no doubt a bunch of first years – when they were taken on their stroll to observe all the weird and wonderful creatures of the forest with Hagrid.

Behold the dead Death Eater, children.

Severus' breathing shallowed and he felt himself sink deeper into the grass. Teetering on the edge of consciousness. Life, about to be snuffed out in seconds.

And he couldn't even muster up the strength or even the awareness to be relieved or understand what it meant, when a familiar voice drifted in the haze, brushing against the edge of his mindfulness.

"What've we got here, then…Snape?"

Severus drifted.

Out.

Regulus Black was dead.

So the world was led to believe.

Five days since the young Black's defection and Severus had spent the majority of those, upon his own return to consciousness, believing that to be the case. Wracked with grief, even during his own recovery, and it wasn't until he had finally made contact with Lucius earlier that day that he had learned the truth.

Regulus lived.

But his whereabouts remained unknown. A small group had been assigned with the task of hunting him.

The attack on Aurelius had been a symbol, a message to the public; that they had chosen to believe it meant the death of the founder only served to please the Dark Lord, for he could not have people believing that a Death Eater of his had managed to thwart one of his attacks, defected and then survived with his life.

Not at all.

And, so, the people were left to believing that Regulus Black perished in the inferno that brought down the Foundation. Along with his young son.

Flowers and hand written inscriptions littered the rubble of the building; so many that they almost covered the destruction beneath. Public support swelling. Another newspaper article released, a second feature from the mysterious Meredith Snow, revealing Regulus' true loyalties.

Severus had fought down his grief, in the days he was left to believe Regulus was lost, the boy; focused on upcoming work within the school, for the Foundation was no longer there to occupy his thoughts, but Poppy had admonished him for his behaviour, telling him that he must rest.

Severus did not think he had ever rested in his entire life.

There was always too much to be done.

Nevertheless, she was insistent and demanded that Dumbledore see to it, that he did, and so he had spent the four days following his return to consciousness in the Infirmary, recovering in his own chambers.

Truly, he was glad of the peace.

When his mind did not linger too long over thoughts of Regulus 'death' and the truth of what had happened; that he had blown his cover to save Lily, as Dumbledore had revealed to him, then he allowed himself to simply think about everything else that was going on. Everything that had happened.

Mulled over the prophecy. Neville Longbottom. Harry Potter. His increasingly complicated relationship with Lily.

There was no Order to answer to. No Dark Lord summoning him. No classes to teach. No Foundation to go to.

Purposeless.

Left to mull over his current options which, really, were only two; wait until the Dark Lord summoned him once more, for he surely would at some point, or go and reveal his survival to him, himself. He was sure his old Master knew of it already, as he would have had others search for his body, would have been watching for an announcement of it being found.

Whether he would be impressed or displeased over it remained to be seen.

Either way, his cover remained intact.

Miraculously.

When the Dark Lord had concluded his torture, it was still not the end; as he peered down at Severus, contemplatively, wand clutched tight in his hand. Severus had been certain, then, in those moments, that it was the end; he would die there, the killing curse ready on his master's lips.

But then he had turned and, with a hand raised, made an indication; it did not take long for Severus to realise what it meant, as the snake had suddenly lunged and sunk its fangs into the tender flesh of his stomach and a scream had escaped his lips; unable to help it, the venom pulsing within him within seconds and, then, both had swept from the mausoleum.

Severus was left to live. Or to die. Slowly.

A knock sounded at the door to his chambers.

An expected one.

The Order had reconvened for the first time that evening, since the battle at the Department of Mysteries, and Severus had been excused from it by Dumbledore, who stated his attendance was neither required nor warranted, urging him to carry on with the rest as prescribed by Poppy days before.

It did not take a genius to guess who was on the other side of his door now.

He felt a smile tug at his lips, even if it shouldn't, even if the events that had taken place should have only strengthened his resolve to keep her away; but, Merlin, did he want to see her.

And, it was with that eagerness, that he pulled open the door, confirming his expectations.

"Lily."

Five days.

Five days in which Lily had been left to think the worse. And think the worse she did. Various scenarios playing out in her head. That Severus was being held; captured, tortured. Or, as her mind has gradually began to supply; dead.

There was no other explanation.

Even if it had been torture; under the Cruciatus, the advanced Dark Magic that Voldemort was sure to use, there was no way he – anyone – could survive five days of torture under it.

Madness afflicted the victims within hours – she knew that, she'd seen it before, with James – death surely not far behind.

And her fears were only reinforced by the fact that Regulus Black had been caught and killed within mere hours of his deception being discovered.

Regulus Black, executed, along with his young son – because of actions taken as a direct result of her own heedless actions. Short-sighted, as always, this time seeing only Harry, his life, the prophecy, entirely determined that Voldemort would not get his hands upon it and determined that she would accept any consequence, that nothing was more important in that moment but her son, then, this.

Part of her wasn't sure how she would ever be able to even face Severus again, if he were to live. Severus wasn't the kind to wear his heart on his sleeve – not anymore – his deepest feelings and emotions always supressed, hidden from view, but they were there and she knew, without doubt, that Regulus Black was one of very few people Severus actually loved.

And Lily had gotten him killed.

But still, even that sombre reflection was not enough to keep her away when Dumbledore had just casually announced at the Order member that night that – what do you know? Severus is quite alright! In fact, he has been recovering at Hogwarts this entire time. Since Saturday night; yes, yes, five days ago.

When the joy had come under control, Lily had glowered at the Headmaster as the meeting carried on, for surely the old man would have known – he was hardly subtle, after all, the night everything had happened, what with his talks about 'irrational feelings driving them to extreme measures' and Severus having 'much more to live for this time around' – he would have known that Lily would want to know of his safe return. Would have wanted to go to him; see him for herself.

Lily had gone to Hogwarts at once, upon conclusion of the meeting.

Knocking on the door of Severus' chamber with all the urgency that had been building up; five days worth of grief and panic and imaginary scenarios driving her every move.

And, within mere seconds, the door was pulled open.

"Lily."

Severus was there.

Upright.

Breathing.

Smiling.

God.

Lily launched herself into his arms.

Barely there a second before his hands seized her by the arms and yanked her back, his voice a hiss; "Lily!" The smile was gone. He made a quick glance up and down the corridor – yes, we are alone, Severus – before he pulled her into his chambers, closing the door swiftly behind them; "You can't –"

"Shut up," she breathed and then her arms wound around him again; around his neck and her face pressed into the little spot behind his ear, breathing him in. She never thought she'd be able to hold him as such, breath him in like this ever again and the scent of him, alone, was a comfort.

She heard a sigh and then felt Severus deflate, his arms winding around her waist, and his head dipping so that his cheek pressed to the side of her head.

Lily could have stayed like this forever.

She holding him, she in his arms.

But, no; reality made itself known quickly. Severus was alive. He was here. And, with her immediate need to touch and feel him satisfied, the guilt and shame flared up quickly.

"Severus," she whispered, forcing herself to draw back, even if she let her hands slide down and linger on his arms, his own loosening but remaining around her waist as he looked down at her; "I'm so sorry."

Severus frowned.

Lily shook her head, her own voice wavering – the emotion of the moment or the guilt over what had happened making it so – "Regulus. I…I was so…so stupid. I wasn't thinking. I…I just…I just saw red. I don't – there's no excuse. I'm so sorry, Severus."

Severus was remarkably calm, composed, barely even flinching; "You take too much upon yourself, Lily. Regulus is…he has always wanted to be a man of principle. It was impossible for him, that role; he could not stand back and do nothing when another was under threat. Not anymore. He would have done what he did, had it been anyone."

Lily frowned, his words seeming so rational, considering that the entire ordeal had led to Regulus' death; "But…he…he died because of me, Severus. His son…"

Severus' brow furrowed, for only a second, and then realisation came to his eyes. He swallowed, averting his eyes, and then her met hers again, looking hesitant. Seeming to contemplate something. And then, seemingly, made a choice; "Regulus and Malachi are fine, Lily."

Lily's eyes widened.

As the news sunk in, the information, the relief that came over her rendered her speechless for a moment. She almost laughed. She could have kissed him.

She didn't though. Not yet. Not ready for yet another of his rejections.

"He's alive?"

"Yes. For now, his and Malachi's whereabouts are unknown. And it is best that they stay that way, from all; I don't expect to hear from him. Not for a while, if ever. But, he lives."

That seemed to be enough for Severus.

Always so rational, so composed, so able to keep himself under control.

If it had been one of her friends, Remus, Sirius, Julia, who had found themselves under such circumstances, Lily would have wanted to hunt for them. Help them. Do something, anything she possibly could to help them.

Severus knew better. Was able to step back. See that, in some instances, actions only served to aggravate a situation further. Put the person in further danger. So able, willing, to let go, if that's what the other person needed.

If that's what he thought the other person needed. No matter the pain it caused to himself.

Lily felt the love she now knew she had for him swell up inside of her.

Her hands curled, gripping tight; screw it. If it meant she could kiss him, show him properly, what she felt for him, even for a second, then it was worth whatever words Severus thought to throw her way in the aftermath.

Lily leaned upwards.

But she was not to be so lucky, it seemed, for Severus' resolve tonight apparently extended beyond his self-control over the situation with Regulus; he drew back, instantly, when he twigged on to her intentions.

A hand coming up between them, pressing to her shoulder; "Don't."

His tone of voice left no room for argument.

And then he suddenly released her, turning away, making his way towards the counters a few steps away; the open plan kitchenette she recognised from her first – and only – visit, months before.

Lily felt her frustration rise, once more, unable to help it.

"Would you like some tea?"

"No. I don't want tea, Severus."

Severus hesitated in his movements at the bite in her tone but didn't look at her, carrying on; "It's been a long week, Lily."

"No kidding. I've spent the past five days thinking you were dead."

Another pause.

He did look at her then. Eyed her up and down, seeming to think for a minute, before he drew in a breath and gave her a stiff nod, before turning back to what he was doing; filling a teapot, set about casting the warming charm.

There he was, so controlled, so distant, so incredibly Severus; there, living, breathing, speaking to her as if all of this had never even happened. That she hadn't just been through one of the most painful experiences of her life, believing he was dead – only one other time in her life came close to it – and here he was, speaking to her as if the status quo had been resumed, just like that.

She wanting him.

He denying her.

Denying himself.

Fuck this. She knew he wanted it.

Lily walked up to him, determination in her stride, and Severus eyed her warily when she made the few steps across his small chambers, coming up next to him.

"Severus –"

"Don't."

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

A puff of air left his nose, a laugh, though there was little amusement in it; "I think I do."

"You think you know everything."

"I have made it my life goal to at least attempt to."

"Don't try and distract me with your cute little comments, Severus."

Severus made a face at the word 'cute'.

"I fear nothing can distract you, Lily, when you have your mind set on something."

"You're learning!"

"What an accomplishment. Shall I assign fifty points to Slytherin?"

"Five would suffice."

And then she smiled and she thought Severus might as well. Instead, his eyes softened but his chin dipped, still not giving in. Not allowing it.

Tough.

Lily stepped forward, taking his hand; "Sev. Please, just -"

And exasperated sigh left him, even as his hand tightened around hers, and he shook his head, looking away from her; "Enough."

The same tone as before; firm, no room for argument.

And then he sighed, sounding every bit as exasperated as his sigh had revealed beforehand; "Enough, Lily."

Lily could only stare back at him, feeling her stomach tighten, as she prepared herself for yet another of his rejection speeches.

"Surely you see, surely now you see why I cannot let this go any further? We have already let this go on longer than it ever should have."

"No, Severus. All I see is a life that has been lost, wasted, on a man who made promises, drew in children to serve him and his dogmatic, racist dragonshit. I see you refusing to open your eyes and see that all you're doing right now is wasting our time."

"I may have been a child when I joined the Dark Lord, Lily, but that by no means excuses that I did. Nor does it negate the consequences of those actions."

"Those consequences don't have to dictate your entire life, Severus!"

"They do. They do, even if I wish it were another way, it is not. Look at Regulus. Look at his child. They will never be free. Never. Not until the Dark Lord falls and, I'm sure you'll agree, that does not look to be very likely. Certainly no time soon. Malachi will grow up in shadows. He will live his life in fear. Hunted. Forever looking over his shoulder because of his father's mistakes."

"Severus –"

"No. This is the truth. A truth that you need to hear, for if the outside dangers that threaten your life are not enough to make you see sense, then perhaps this will. You say you have spent the past five days believing me to be dead? Well, try doing that every day for however long you expect this to last. And how long do you expect it to, Lily? What is it, truly, that you want from me? Because I can assure you, this very moment, I have nothing to offer that would tempt you in the slightest."

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't expect anything but this. Us."

"Us? And how does that look to you?"

Lily stepped towards him, taking his hands in her, looking him right in the eyes; "It looks like you and me, Severus. Together."

"That's all? Well, let me open your eyes to the reality of that then. I am a spy. I live to serve. I do not enjoy it, hence my ever-sunny disposition you have become accustomed to but, unfortunately, I have no choice. I made my choice. I answer his call when he summons me; I answer Dumbledore's when he does also. The rest of the time I am lying, deceiving, playing the part, whatever part I need to play, in order to maintain my cover –"

"But you wouldn't have to do that with me," Lily interrupted him, stepping closer, her eyes expressing all that she felt; "I could be there for you, Severus. I could –"

"And what could I give you, Lily? Nothing. A life of lies and deceit. Perhaps, as you say, I would not be that way with you but you would have to be so with others. What of your son? Of Lupin? Of Black? You would lie to them?"

Lily swallowed, eye flitting back and forth between his.

"They couldn't know."

"Death Eaters have families. And you're a double agent. You work at Hogwarts. You could always claim it is part of your –"

"I will not have you be a cover. As if the Dark Lord would fall for that. And even if he allowed it, it would only serve to draw more attention to you, which is not an option. It is a secret, as you suggested, or nothing. And, nothing it is. Because a secret, as you so flippantly did suggest some weeks ago, would be unfair. To you and to everyone you know."

Lily shook her head, drawing in a breath; "I could do it. I will do it."

"Why?"

Lily opened her mouth to speak, to answer, to tell him but he carried on, regardless.

"Every day I left you, you would be left feeling, thinking the same thoughts that you have done so this week; that I am dead, that I could be dead. And that is not even the worst of it – what if I were to find myself in the situation that Regulus now finds himself? On the run, fearing, not only for his own life, but for the life of his son also. What sort of life is that? I have nothing to offer you."

"I don't want you to offer me anything!"

"You will. You will. If this means what I think it might, if you want what I think you do. And if it's not, well, then this most definitely is not worth the risk."

"What do you think I want?"

"I think you want a family."

Lily met his eyes, surprised at the bluntness of his statement.

Severus held her look and then nodded, slowly, when she didn't deny it; "Something that I could never have."

"You're just saying this to push me away."

"I don't need to say it to push you away, Lily. It's the truth. The fact that it does serve to push you away only proves my point."

"Well it's not working!"

"Very well. Very well, let us assume that that is true. That you would be willing to lie to those you love. That you would be willing to give up a chance at such a life. A real life. Let us go back to the other factors that prevent us from being together. Hopkins –"

Lily finally snapped.

"I don't care. You hear me, Severus? I don't care what Hopkins will do. I don't care about your Dark Lord. Or what Sirius or what fricking Dumbledore has to say about it. I don't care!"

"You are being unreasonable."

"I'm being unreasonable? Listen to yourself! You risk your life every day! And I know that a big part of the reason you do it, I'm responsible for –"

"Responsi- you are not responsible! I do it because –"

"Sev."

She didn't want to hear it. She was over this. She was so over his excuses, his self-loathing speeches for why they couldn't be together. She was done.

"You don't get to go out there, fighting for something that you believe in, risking your life for it, and then turn around and tell me that I don't get to fight for what I believe in, also."

"It is hardly the same thing."

"Severus. I'm in love with you."

His impassioned expression, ready to fight, suddenly dropped.

Now, he simply stared back at her, dumbstruck. Stricken.

She should kiss him.

That's what you were supposed to do. Like they did in the movies. Declarations of love, especially first ones, weren't supposed to be made right in the middle of an argument. They were supposed to be meaningful, felt, shown.

If you meant it.

And, oh hell, she did. She loved this stubborn, infuriating pain in the ass from his head right down to his toes.

And if he was so determined to go out there and get himself killed over mistakes he had made over a decade ago, then, by God, he would know it first. He would feel it.

So she kissed him; vaguely aware of a half-hearted hand that rose, suspended in the air between them, as if reaching up to stop her but faltering. Unable to do so.

And, after a second, she felt his fingers on her neck, thumb on her cheek, barely touching; soft lips moving in response against hers.

And when she drew back he simply stared, his eyes searching her, and the guardedness was gone; regarding her with such open vulnerability in his eyes that he rarely let her see. His own feelings suddenly laid bare within them; resolve falling away, along with the awe that seemed to have come over him in the immediate aftermath of her words.

A smile came to her then, unable to help it, and then he exhaled and leaned back in, his hand taking her by the hair and drawing her back; claiming her lips with his with a hunger that caught her off guard. But not for long, her own urgency quickly matching his, when he, finally, after all this time, gave in to what he felt for her.

And the intensity of it almost knocked her off her feet.

Severus gripped her tight, his kiss hard and deep, tongue delving into her mouth, and he growled softly in the back of his throat when she responded in kind, the hand in her hair tightening, splaying, pressing her closer to him. But then it released her, slipping down to her neck, pulling back the hair that had gathered over her shoulder and his lips left hers; going to the flesh that was now exposed beneath her ear.

Lily bit her lip, eyes fluttering closed as her head tilted instinctively to the side, vaguely aware of his other hand sliding up her ribcage as his attentions went entirely to her neck, kisses pressed to the flesh, and she felt her heartbeat quicken as his hand rose higher. But it stopped, resting high on her stomach, going no further.

Severus lips found hers again; kissing her with the same hunger as before and she sighed into his mouth, as his hands came back up to bury in her hair, as he inhaled deeply, seeming to want to drink her up. She realised she was letting him do all the work here; allowing herself to be overcome simply by the passion by which he was touching her, kissing her. Bumped herself up closer to him, her own desire intensifying rapidly under his attentions.

She felt hot all over. Gripped his shoulders under his arms, tried to press up against him, as his hands slid down her back once again, kiss carrying on as before, the passion increasing with every second, driven by something almost primal, instinctive and she moaned into his mouth.

But it wasn't close enough. An unexpected, but not entirely unfamiliar ache centred within her and she had the sudden desire, the need to be closer, now, and her eyes spotted the perfect solution, so, with a tight grip of his shoulders she urged him in that direction and he barely even reacted, allowed her to take him wherever she wished. Carried on touching, kissing, gripping her as they bumped against one another, as they made the few steps to her desired destination.

Lily pushed him down onto the couch. Only then, when their bodies parted, did Severus look up, eyes dark with lust and unconcealed yearning, and Lily thought she caught a glimpse of surprise in them as well but she didn't give him, or herself, any time to question it. She went with him, straddled him, legs on either side of his waist.

"Lily," Severus breathed against her lips, when they were suddenly pressed flushed against one another; gravity finally giving her what she had previously sought. The pressure and the friction she had craved. It had been so long since she had felt the need that she could barely identify it as what she had wanted until she finally had it. Severus' hands slid up her back and he pressed himself up against her, seeming to want the same thing, his lips moving against hers until she slowly drew back.

Lily reached up, touching his cheek, and then she smiled.

Severus smiled in return, even with his breathing ragged, his eyes almost wild as they looked back at her, it the most relaxed she had ever seen him, and Lily felt the hands on her back slip down, coming to rest on the top of her thighs, where they rested on either side of him.

Lily touched her forehead to his.

Severus did nothing. Waited for her. She would decide. His thumbs gently moving against her, in a soft caress, as he stared right back at her; daring her to go further.

It had been a long time.

And, by his kisses alone, Severus had already demonstrated himself to be a far more intense partner than any she had been used to. Any being one. And her previous experience had been a long time ago, only twenty-one, and it was still laced with the awkwardness of teenage fumbles and sweetness.

Nothing at all like the way Severus had just kissed and touched her.

She was nervous.

But she wanted it all the same.

Lily sighed and leaned in, claiming his lips once again, and that seemed to be all the encouragement Severus needed, the direction of where this was heading clear, and his hands gripped her thighs and then slid upwards, while hers went to the front of his shirt; undoing the buttons.

Her cloak pooled to the floor.

She didn't even feel Severus unfasten it.

But she quickly sensed his frustration when he was suddenly presented with robes and, underneath them, more clothing and then she laughed and he glanced up at her, his own lips twitching. She released her hold of his buttons, quickly unfastening the robes and shrugged out of them; leaving him with only jeans and a blouse to deal with, even the playing field a bit.

She reached for his shirt, finally unbuttoned and pushed over his shoulders, and then reached for the hem of her own blouse, pulling it up over her head, not waiting until his fingers had finished undoing hers.

She hesitated when she heard Severus draw in a breath and glanced at him, expecting to meet his eyes, but, instead, they roved over her, darkening further as they did so. He glanced up at her, the intensity in his gaze making her own breath catch, and then he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, and then they went lower; pressed to her throat, her chest, as his fingers trailed down the skin of her back, making her shiver.

Lily tugged him up, drawing his lips back to hers, and pressed up against him once again, without the fabric of their clothing between them now, and God it was incredible. She had forgotten; the sensation of another's skin against hers. And she felt herself grow heady with the ever growing lust within her, as she trailed a hand across his shoulder, moving downwards, skimming his chest, fingers trailing down his stomach until they rested at the waistband of his trousers.

"Lily," Severus breathed her name against her lips; "I…do you…should we…"

"Lost for words, Professor?"

"Please don't call me that here."

Lily grinned against his lips.

"If we're going to…I do have a bed."

A bed? Who cares.

She'd happily do it on the floor.

Lily didn't realise she'd voiced the thought out loud until Severus growled, suddenly, against her lips and his hands tightened their grip of her. His lips moved hungrily against hers, tongue delving deep into her mouth, before his lips travelled to her throat, her neck, her chest.

And then, with surprising swiftness, he flipped them, so that she was beneath him and he above her.

When Severus came back to himself, his face was pressed into her chest, arms tight against her, breaths coming in little pants as his heartrate returned to normal.

He slowly drew back, lifting his chin, meeting Lily's eyes; not entirely sure what to expect. And, either, it seemed, was she, for she looked back at him with the same uncertainty that he felt, though with hopefulness in her eyes and, fuck, how could he do anything but melt under them.

Severus smiled at her.

And then her uncertainty fell away.

She smiled back and leaned down, pressing her lips back to his, and he kissed her back softly; slow and sweet.

But, he noted, this was a little odd. They were on the couch. Should they, just…get up? Start getting dressed. That seemed a bit, well…rude. Especially considering that this was Lily and he was in love with her and she, apparently, was in love with him also – he still hadn't gotten his head around that announcement – and he didn't want to just send her on her way now that they had finally been together.

He didn't consider himself to be a romantic, not at all. But basking in the afterglow, even for a little bit, seemed like a natural occurrence following finally being with the woman he had loved for…well, forever.

But sitting stark naked on the couch wasn't a very appealing alternative, either.

What if Poppy decided to floo in to check on him? Or Dumbledore.

He should have insisted on the bed.

Severus shifted and Lily seemed to take that as a sign for her to get off. So she did. Leaving them both incredibly exposed. He fought the urge to reach for his clothes.

But Lily, as ever, put end to his misery. Lifting her wand and, with a quick casting of a charm, transfigured her cloak into a blanket and, leaning back on the couch, pulled it up over herself and, with a raised eyebrow in his direction, lifted the other end as an invitation to join her.

So he did

Reaching to take her back into his arms as he did so.