Chapter Sixty-One

His Uncle Sirius was there but he wasn't allowed to play.

It was well past bedtime, his dad had declared, when Malachi had eagerly gone to greet him, realising who had burst through the door. But then, he had quickly picked up on the fact that his uncle wasn't in a good mood. Malachi didn't really like it when anyone was angry, never knowing quite what to say or how to behave, and it was his first time seeing his uncle so; before that, he didn't think the man ever did get angry.

He was always so happy, so good-humoured whenever Malachi saw him, that the dark fury radiating off of him meant that he offered up little protest when he was sent back to bed in his little corner of the shack.

But, despite his uneasiness, he listened in all the same to what he and his father were saying; feigned sleep, even when his dad's chuckles met his ears.

"Good for him."

"Good for him?" his Uncle Sirius repeated, as if scandalised; "You must be…no, actually, you're right. It is good for him. Pretty much everything is! Nice house, good job, pretty girl, who just so happens to be his worst enemy's wife, spreading her legs for him –"

"Do you mind; my kid is here." Regulus interrupted, sounding stern, but when Malachi peeked an eye open his dad's eyes were dancing with amusement.

"It's disgusting!"

"What's the problem? It's not like you're sleeping with her."

"It's Severus Snape, that's what the problem is!"

"Don't be a jackass, Sirius."

"He's a slimy, dangerous, crafty little bastard who ought to be –"

"Ought to be what?"

His dad didn't sound amused anymore; his tone was snappy, laced with something Malachi wasn't quite accustomed to, a tension in the air seeming to come out of nowhere, for his father had been acting as if his Uncle Sirius' rage was the funniest thing in the world up until this moment.

He guessed his dad didn't like him saying bad things about Severus.

Thinking about it, Malachi didn't either.

"It's not the same thing."

They were still speaking, quieter now, seemingly on the brink of an argument. Something Malachi had become used to, in the past few months, for the two men always seemed to only be pretending to like one another when his uncle showed up for his visits. Then again, that was no surprise. His dad had told him from the start that he didn't like his brother and was very, very angry when Malachi had finally got to meet him.

"It is the same thing," his dad hissed, volume lowered; "We're exactly the same."

"He's –"

"And you know what else, we're all the same. You think you're so much better than him?"

His Uncle Sirius pursed his lips together, eyes darkening; "No doubt about it. And I've got the clean, unbranded arm to prove it."

"Go back to Potter's wife, you're not staying here."

"What? Getting too personal, little brother? We have to talk about it."

"I don't have to talk to you about anything."

"I know it wasn't your fault."

Malachi quickly squeezed his eyes shut once more when his dad stood up, chair creaking and scraping when he did, for he had launched himself to his feet so abruptly that it was forced back slightly by the movement. He strode away from him, away from his Uncle Sirius, to the other side of the shack, coming to a stop at the window and Malachi guessed that, had it not been for the walls, for the fact that he and Malachi were not supposed to step out beyond them, that he would have happily carried on and on until his legs could carry him no further.

Ready to run.

That was something Malachi was learning, fast; his dad was really good at running.

"You're not one of them, Reg. You never were. You're damn constellations apart from what men like Snape are like."

"You think you've got it all figured out, don't you? You don't even know him. You don't even know me."

"You're my brother."

"Blood isn't everything. Believe me, that's something I've learned the hard way time and again for the past two decades. It doesn't bind people and it doesn't segregate them either; people do that. We make the choices."

"Reg –"

"Just don't. You don't get it, okay? You never will."

"I can –"

"Sh."

Something was different. The way his father spoke changing in a second; no longer laced with resentment, shame, now replaced by guardedness and, as Malachi was quickly beginning to identify, fear.

Malachi's eyes opened fully at the realisation, lifting himself slightly up off of the bed.

"Malachi." His dad was suddenly at his side, yanking him out from beneath the blankets; "Malachi, up!" His tone was hushed but it did not conceal the urgency.

"How did they –" his Uncle Sirius' voice held the same panicked note.

His dad yanked up the floorboards, quickly pushing Malachi towards the passageway they had created; "Go, go. You remember, right?"

Malachi did. They'd rehearsed this, the escape routes, for every place they had been held up in the past few months.

He jumped down into the tunnel, his Uncle Sirius following immediately after him, just as a roar sounded overhead; a shattering and a blast, before the floorboards suddenly rearranged themselves above, locking him and his uncle beneath them.

His dad was still in the shack.

"Lucius."

Malachi could still hear his dad's voice.

Lucius? His uncle.

Malachi hesitated, eyes on the boards above, even if he couldn't see anything; could only hear the voices. But, then, surely everything was okay; it didn't matter if his Uncle Lucius had been the one to find them, did it? He was his Auntie Cissy's husband; he was family.

The thoughts went no further, Malachi suddenly finding himself seized by the collar and forced further down the passageway. He started to speak, to tell his Uncle Sirius it was alright - it was Uncle Lucius – but the man's hand clamped over his mouth, silencing him, and his urging was rough, hurrying him away.

The hand didn't release him until they stumbled out into the woods, some distance away; "It's okay, Uncle Sirius –"

"Be quiet!" he hissed.

His Uncle Sirius was frantic, eyes darting around the woods. Suddenly, a crashing sounded, drawing both their eyes to the direction of the shack. Lights lit up the inside; firing forth between the two tiny windows. Voices, cries joined them; more than just the two men they had left.

Others had come now.

They had come for his dad.

"Da –" Malachi lunged forward, panic gripping him, but his Uncle Sirius seized him once more; told him to hush up, be quiet, get down.

Malachi was forced down onto the rough ground below, and he forced back the protest as pain shot through his knee, branches scraping and tearing at the skin of his arms.

"Come here, come here." His Uncle Sirius was whispering, quickly, dragging him across the ground by the arm; "Can you fit in there?"

It was a little gap, tiny, beneath the ground and a fallen tree; fallen so long before that shrubbery and weeds had grown all over it.

Malachi didn't think he could; "I don't –"

He didn't get a chance to answer, quickly being pushed towards it, making him try. Pushing him down.

"I need to help your dad."

"Sirius."

They both spun around, looking up from the crouched positions they were in, his dad suddenly behind them.

"Dad!"

Malachi launched himself at him and he was swept up into his arms; held tight. Not in a hug, a relieved greeting, but still in panic and he registered his dad saying that they were still coming. They had to go.

Now.

His Uncle Sirius disapparated merely a second before they did, disappearing with a pop, and his dad made the same motion after. But Malachi was sure he saw something, someone, not too far away when he glanced back over his father's shoulder.

Malachi almost smiled but it faltered when he realised it wasn't possible, because she was gone.

But, for just a second, Malachi thought the woman he saw watching them, head tilting to the side, a little in the distance; she looked just like his Auntie Andie.

And then he and his dad were gone.

Lily had only herself to blame.

Remus had been right in the first place; she and Sirius had gotten themselves into an impossible situation, only digging themselves deeper as time went on, entwining their lives in a way that just wasn't possibly sustainable. Not if they weren't planning on taking it further, on committing to one another in a way which neither of them had ever intended.

Young and grieving, they had leant on each other much too heavily in the aftermath of James' death. She depending on him and Sirius stepping just a little too much into James' shoes, so much so that they allowed even themselves to become confused by the situation in the end.

But their own confusion, the fallout of their decisions, paled in comparison to the confusion of one little boy who, at first, could only stare at his mother is sadness, shock, when she had been forced to reveal the circumstances to him the following day.

His Uncle Sirius had moved out; it was just the two of them, from now on.

"But…why?"

"Sweetheart, I'm afraid it was time for your Uncle Sirius and I to make a change. Things as they were, they were only supposed to be temporary. We were never supposed to live with each other for so long."

"But I liked us all living together."

"I know, Harry. So did I. But it just wasn't appropriate. Not anymore."

"What does that mean? Appropriate?"

"It means…usually at our age, when a man and woman live together, it means their relationship is…well, that usually only happens when they're in relationship. When they're married. Or very soon will be."

"Is…is this because of my dad, again?"

"No, Sweetheart. No. It's because of me. It's time to move on."

"Move on?"

"Yes."

"You mean…you want to get married again?"

"No. Not just yet. Sometimes it's good for grownups to live alone for a little while. Before they're with anyone else again. For now, it's just you and me. Which makes you the man of the house; how does that sound?"

"Rubbish!" Harry declared; "I want Uncle Sirius here too!"

"You can still see your Uncle Sirius whenever you like. It'll be just like how it is with Uncle Remus."

"Whenever I like?" Harry repeated, carefully.

"That's right."

"I want to see him now."

Lily almost rolled her eyes; "We'll send him an owl, then. When we're finished talking." She hoped Sirius would answer; that his fury with her would not lead him to ignore it, to punish her and, in doing so, Harry because he was still angry.

"Sweetheart," Lily sighed and reached out, squeezing his arm; "I know this is hard. I know how much you love him. But this is…it's how things should be. If we stayed together like that, then things would never change, things would never get better."

"Better? How?"

"Well, think about your Uncle Sirius. What he did for us was very kind. He loved your dad and us very much, so much that he stayed with us, waited until we were ready, for him to go and have a family of his own –"

"But I don't want him to have a family of his own. Then I'll never see him."

"Harry, that's not true. You'll always be special to him. He loves you. We both do."

"But you don't love each other anymore?"

"We never loved each other that way. Not the way that people…well, not the way that people need."

"Need?"

"That's right. The kind that makes you happy. You and me, we're very lucky, we have each other. And, although you don't remember it, we had your dad before also. Your Uncle Sirius deserves to have that with someone, too."

Harry looked like he was mulling over the information, the reasons she was giving him, but it was too much, too suddenly, Lily knew, for him to fully understand. Sirius had never even presented Harry with a girlfriend before, nevermind dropped any hints at hoping for a wife. For all of his insistence that she move on, there had been very little inclination on his side to do so, either.

Harry, however, had once expressed a wish for it from her. But she couldn't even, really, make the promise of that to him. The situation with Severus was too uncertain and she would not get her son's hopes up, make him think that there was the possibility for a future for them, too, if she could not follow through with her words.

If Lily allowed her mind to go there, of course. She and Severus had never really discussed the future. Certainly never discussed what it would look like, the two of them and Harry, once the war was finally over. In truth, she and Severus had never spoken about the long term plans of their relationship at all. Severus seeming adamant, before they even got together, that he could offer her nothing of the sort - a family – and that was something she had to accept. Told her to walk away.

But she hadn't, she had stayed and they didn't elaborate any further on the issue.

And, besides the fact that everything was incredibly complicated, it was also still very, very new. They were barely out of the honeymoon stage; still not entirely passed the phase of just wanting to have one another whenever they got the chance. And, yes, she was in love with him, and, right now, every hope she did have for the future included him in it, but maybe it was too soon for them to be talking about such things. What it would mean when Severus was finally free from the war and if, when he was, whether or not those things he was adamant he could not have would be suddenly on the table.

But it would be irresponsible for her to let it go on, as things were now, without broaching the not-exactly-minor issue of how Severus felt about her having a son. James' son. What was now happening with regards to Sirius making that plainly obvious.

Remus had warned her months ago to get it sorted; to ask him.

She hadn't.

The fact that Severus could have nothing to do with Harry right now meant that the question could be easily avoided.

Both Lily and Severus knew that what they had, now, could be all they were ever going to get.

But assuming that to be definite would be just as imprudent as assuming Harry and Severus would never have to meet. That those two pieces of her world would never collide.

And she had just received a rather unwelcome taste of how such a thing could go, if she were not to prepare herself for it.

Lily couldn't avoid the issue anymore.

Remus' concerns were valid. Even Sirius had brought up Harry, seeing the concern even through his blind rage.

And surely Severus must have considered it, even if he had not broached the subject. It wasn't as if she never mentioned her son, whatsoever.

As difficult, as awkward as the subject may be, Lily couldn't allow them to get into a situation where, a few months, years even, down the line, they would be suddenly faced with the prospect that her son was a deal breaker. That Severus could not reconcile the truth of his parentage. Or, even, just that he didn't want children at all. Even if he had known about Harry from the beginning.

But Severus had promised her nothing for the future. Entirely focused on the nowwhen he had told her his thoughts, his feelings regarding their relationship and his message had been clear.

He had said nothing about after.

He had not spoken of the child that already existed.

Looking at her little boy now, as he struggled with what was going on, already bearing the burden due to this mistake – one of many – she knew that she couldn't let it happen again. She couldn't bury her head in the sand and assume things would work out themselves out.

"Can we send him an owl now?" Harry finally asked, meeting her eyes.

Lily smiled, nodding. Used a summoning charm to bring parchment and quill to the table; "Do you want to write it?"

Harry nodded, "Okay."

He began to do so, while she sat next to him, offering assistance only when he asked. He looked up at her, smiling when he was done, and held it out to her; "Can I stay with him sometimes, too? Like I do with Uncle Remus? Will I get my own room?"

"Hm. That's something you'll have to ask him."

"He'll let me."

"Oh will he?"

He nodded, confidently, giving her a bright smile. Lily couldn't help returning it, just glad of the fact that he was offering a smile, rather than tears, after what he had learned. She reached up, giving his shoulder a squeeze, rolling her eyes knowingly when he asserted with confidence.

"Uncle Sirius will let me stay with him whenever I want!"

Remus managed to resist the big fat 'I-told-you-so' slipping from his lips in the aftermath of what had happened.

Catastrophic, indeed.

Quickly, the change in their dynamics had made themselves known. Lily's previous upset when Remus had checked upon her the following day quickly giving way to anger at what had transpired, at the way that Sirius had both reacted and attacked her.

Remus didn't agree with him, either, but he wasn't shocked by it; not in the slightest.

No, shock right now was reserved only for Sirius. Who had turned up the following evening, looking shaken and just as furious as ever, as he had come in response to Harry's owl; long after his Godson had retired to bed.

Punishing Harry for Lily's choice was unacceptable, even Remus agreed as much, though the ensuing argument that followed between she and Sirius was nasty, brutally honest truths and accusations fired back and forth between them.

"Where the hell have you even been the past seven years; don't tell me I'm not there for him!"

"Don't give me that, Sirius. You knew he needed you here today; that's why you did this. To punish me."

"I don't give a damn about punishing you, Lily; you're practically dead to me right now as it is."

"Then where were you? Harry's been waiting here for you all day."

"Not shagging bloody Death Eaters, I can at least promise that! Where are you all day when you're not here, huh?"

And so it went, on and on, until they finally listened to him and settled down to talk rationally about the situation. About Harry.

Lily and Sirius bickered throughout as if they were undergoing a divorce. It was almost as if they actually were.

The topic of discussion; visitation rights.

Well.

Black's theatrics certainly did have some benefits.

Lily was here, with him, in the residence that he rented, with no immediate plans or need to depart; looking, for all intents and purposes, as if she belonged there.

It was their first real test, the 'great reveal'. Prior to the recent discovery by Black and Lupin – Lupin again, as if he had some sort of radar that detected their illicit affairs at every turn – he and Lily had remained almost blissfully ignorant from all the influences of the outside world that ought to keep them apart.

Being more than a little private, himself, he doubted the reality of a relationship with Lily, even under other circumstances, would be all that different; he would always be discreet in public, his true feelings saved only for her.

With Black's detection, and his ensuing hissy fit, they receive their first true douse of reality that they had so studiously avoided in the three months since they had come together. And the ensuing consequences were exactly as Severus had promised her they would be, when he had attempted to convince her to just walk away.

Any satisfaction he may have gained from being proven right was chased away by the very real possibility that she would.

Past the point of restraint, now, he knew he was in deep enough that Lily doing so would crush him. Idiot. And Severus had not been at all certain, in the moment she had gone after Black, that when faced with an ultimatum, that Lily would actually choose him.

But she had.

Perhaps he should feel shame, guilt, that being with him had led to it; that such measures had to be taken in the first place. Even if it was only Black. But there was little that could measure up to the elation he had felt when she had come back to him, telling him what had happened, and reassuring him that he was still what she wanted. That the ordeal had not weakened her will.

They would go on.

In fact, following the incident, things had turned out rather well. For him, anyway.

An ensuing, almost, custody arrangement had then taken place regarding what would be done about the boy – Lily's son – now that Black was no longer living with them. Severus had pointed out that the boy was Lily's son and that Black had no claim to him whatsoever but his indignation on her behalf was unwarranted; she was fine with what had been arranged, comfortable with him remaining so prominently in little Potter's life.

She had said it through practically gritted teeth, which belied her current feelings about the man.

And so, the arrangements were made. Harry Potter would spend two days a week with Sirius Black; Monday and Tuesday nights.

For them, a compromise.

For Severus, bliss. As, suddenly, Lily was now freed up two nights a week to do as she wished.

And Lily opted to spend said nights with him. Their previously indeterminate time together now giving way to a certain schedule; Monday nights, Lily would come to him, leaving only when work or Order business called upon it, and wouldn't return home until Wednesday evenings, when Harry Potter returned.

"Sirius was a complete jackass about the whole thing when he came to collect him this evening."

It seemed that Lily was still angry.

Severus fought a smile, held back any interjections of his own, as he leaned back on the couch, book in his lap, while Lily paced the floor in front of him, a font of livid words regarding one Sirius Black – he who dared to question her state of mind, her devotion to her son, her ability to make her own choices. He who dared to use said son against her, not to mention her husband's –

Lily had quickly broken off, then, meeting his eyes almost guiltily, but Severus only returned her look evenly, unaffected by the mention. The slip. She forgot herself for a moment, there; they did not talk about Potter. Steering clear, her ravings quickly resumed when the simmering fury quickly boiled over once more; back to Black.

Lily raged in exactly the same way she had when they had been children.

It was a rare occurrence, only resulting when Lily felt particularly slighted by someone, but it was comfortably familiar, taking Severus back to times long before when he had been the one she would come to. It was always him she sought out and he would sit patiently, much the same way he was doing now, and just look and listen, offering only the occasional utterance which went practically unnoticed until she had satisfied her need to explode.

It was a welcome return to how they had once been.

Lily broke off, suddenly, frowningly; "What is it?"

"What?"

"You're smiling."

Severus realised he was. He quickly corrected himself. Matched her frown.

The tension in her seemed to break then; her shoulders dropped and she rolled her eyes, looking away for a second, and then meeting his with a sheepish smile.

"God. I'm ruining this, aren't I?"

Their first two days together, uninterrupted, just the two of them.

Severus found he didn't mind; he quite liked the seeming return to normality for them, back to how things had once been. Almost as if another hurdle had been leapt, another step taken, Lily turning to him in her time of, well, fury and happy enough to offload her woes

"It wasn't the evening I expected. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying this."

She was ranting about Black, after all, and though she was saying nothing that he couldn't have concluded himself – pig-headed, self-righteous douchebag, had she called him, well, that was rather tame when compared to Severus' thoughts – it was rather amusing to hear the various profanities escape her lips with regards to the man.

Of course, the part of his mind that always enjoyed raining on his parade reminded him that Lily wouldn't be furious like this if she didn't care. If Black didn't mean something to her. She was hurting, here. Black had done that.

The man was, by no means, gone. Even if he had opted to walk.

He would be back.

Lily sighed and sat down in front of him, looking regretful now; "Sorry."

"It's fine."

"I just –"

"You needn't explain." Severus spared them both the heartfelt rationalisation for her outburst, the reason for which he had only just contemplated; "I know how it is."

"Still, I shouldn't be…well, dumping all this on you."

"You're not 'dumping' anything on me, Lily. Besides, what is happening is not unexpected and I'm not entirely free from responsibility with regards to what is happening."

Lily's eyes flashed; "That doesn't excuse him –"

"That it doesn't." He conceded, figuring they were otherwise on the brink of a further outburst.

Lily rolled her eyes; "Or me going on and on about it."

"As I said, I don't mind."

"As you said, you're enjoying it?" She teased, a slight smile on her lips. He doubted she knew the reasons for it, that he was happy they had reached the stage where her guard had dropped, completely, for a moment but he wasn't going to elaborate; let her think he was just amused at hearing the insults thrown at Black, instead. After all, that had only added to his amusement.

Severus shrugged and reached up, hand caressing the side of her neck. The fire in her eyes softened, then, and she smiled, tension leaving her completely.

"Alright. I'll stop," she said, lightly, her smile widening, before she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his. Once again, his mind answered, he didn't mind, but he found that, as endearing as Lily's outburst had been, this was a far more appealing way to engage themselves, for the time being.

"Breakfast!"

Severus squinted against the sunlight, Lily's voice rousing him.

She smiled at him, brightly, wide awake and dressed only in a shirt of his; plopping down onto the side of the bed next to him, placing a tray of food down atop the covers.

Severus rolled onto his back, tucking a hand behind his head as he looked up at her.

Everything about this was all incredibly new to him.

Under normal circumstances, he would be long gone by now. Forgoing breakfast entirely. Off to Hogwarts to prepare for the upcoming classes of the day. Today, though, and every Tuesday and Wednesday for the foreseeable future, he was certain that he would be stumbling through the floo of his office at the castle mere minutes before his first classes were to begin.

He glanced at the timepiece. 6.50am. Still plenty of time to enjoy himself, here.

"Morning, sleepyhead." Lily leaned down, giving him a kiss.

She drew back, lifting a slice of toast from the tray she had presented, and taking a bite; "I might be late tonight. There's a case that Healer Clay wanted to go over with me."

"Alright."

He figured that was the appropriate answer to such a statement. What else would he say, after all? That he demanded she be home in time for dinner?

This was just strange. Following the conclusion of Lily's outburst the previous night, they had quickly found other ways to engage themselves, interrupted only when the need for food had drawn them back to the kitchen; tucking into lazily prepared sandwiches, not at all suitably dressed, as if they had all the time in the world.

And, this morning, breakfast in bed.

Severus hadn't ever considered having this with anyone, let alone with Lily.

She looked totally at ease. As if she had done this a hundred times before.

Severus quickly pushed away the ensuing surge of bitterness that arose when rational thought reminded him that she had.

With Potter.

Instead, he squeezed the bare knee exposed to him, and then reached for some food of his own – an apple – and took a bite.

They carried on as such, enjoying the untried domesticity of the situation; Lily, in his shirt, eating breakfast with him, giving him a cheeky little smile when their eyes met, reaching up to tenderly brush the pad of her thumb against the side of his lip – jam smudge – between comments about the day ahead, upcoming Order tasks, along with needless expressions of how one another had slept the night before.

But as sleepiness wore off, his senses sharpening as he came more into himself, he became acutely aware of somethingthat Lily was holding back; something on her mind that she was opting not to express. Though she seemed to wish to; seemed to be weighing up the opportunity.

Severus, now sitting up, back to the headboard, eyed her curiously; "What is it?"

Lily met his eyes sharply; "Nothing."

He raised an eyebrow.

She held his look for a moment, seeming determined to feign ignorance, but as the silence stretched her determination wilted and she averted her eyes, now looking uncomfortable, uncertain. She cleared her throat, shaking her head, her voice quieter; "It's nothing…well, not nothing. I mean, nothing's wrong. I don't think, anyway. At least, I hope –"

"Lily."

She met his eyes.

He waited.

She sighed, shooting him a grin; "Right. Rambling."

His own lips twitched but he carried on waiting, saying nothing, infinitely curious now and not letting her off the hook. Frankly, conflict and serious discussion was something he was far more accustomed to than playful bantering over tea and toast.

"It's just…we've never really talked." Lily began, looking almost nervous, but she seemed to push it away. Finding her resolve, as she spoke the next words; "About Harry."

Severus frowned.

"There has been no need. The Dark Lord has expressed no further wish to –"

"Not Harry, the possible prophecy child. Harry, my son."

Severus stared at her a second, words dying on his lips, and then he pursed them together, entirely uncertain of the etiquette to follow when faced with the matter of your lover's offspring.

He cleared his throat; "I see."

Lily looked at him, hopefully, as if she expected him to speak; expected him to express something regarding the circumstances but he was at a loss.

Harry Potter was something, someone, he rarely allowed his mind to dwell on. Thoughts of the boy always quickly led to thoughts about the boy's father and, even now, his loathing remained as strong as ever; his encounters with Black in the past few months only reminding him of it, keeping it fresh.

As such, he had simply either ignored the issue or, as Lily had made reference to, only really thought of him in relation to the threat that the prophecy posed to him, to her, and understanding the need to protect Harry Potter, at all costs.

Severus had never, truly, stopped to think of him as a living, breathing child; avoiding the few attempts by the boy to connect in the past, steadfastly. Harry Potter had always been, to put it bluntly, a task.

Now, though, said task was very quickly about to become an issue, a subject of discussion; one they were about to have right now. He could see it in her eyes.

"What did you want to talk about?"

Lily brushed the hair back from her face, seeming to think about it for a second, before she shrugged; "It's just – well, this. What we're doing right now. I mean, is this what we're looking at? What we're heading towards?"

Severus glanced, needlessly, between them, at the shirt she wore, at the bed, the tray that still lay upon it, now carrying the remains from what they had eaten; empty plates and cups, apple cores, toast crusts.

"After all this is over," Lily added, when the silence stretched; "The war."

Severus met her eyes; "It does have a certain appeal."

Lily's eyes softened, the uncertainty in them falling away, and she gave her a small smile; "Well, there's a big part of that picture that's missing here."

Severus held her look. She went on;

"Someone."

Severus nodded, conceding the point; "Yes."

He may not have considered the issue before but there was no denying it; if they carried on, if they did manage to reach that point, such a stage that she could be to him what Severus did not deny he wanted, then Harry Potter came as part of that package.

"I need to know how you feel about that."

Severus avoided her eyes at the statement, as he considered it, how he felt. In that second, he didn't, honestly, know. There was, undoubtedly, bitterness when thoughts of James Potter came up, that she had married him, that they had had a child together – thoughts which always seemed to follow on the heels of any thoughts about the boy – but would those feelings then transfer to the son? To the point that he would actually forgo what he could possibly have with Lily?

Not a chance.

At least, that's what his immediate, gut instinct provided for him. If he was currently willing to stand against all the other things they were currently up against, to take on those odds, the likelihood that he would get to the end, having beaten them, and be granted with the option of accepting her, all of her, including Harry Potter, or walking away; the very thought was ludicrous.

Severus smiled, slightly, realising that, yes, it was.

There was just no way.

Of course he would accept the boy. Of course he would make a life with her, with both of them, if they ever had that chance.

"It's fine, Lily."

"Fine?"

"Yes."

Lily gave a small laugh, seeming disbelief, but there was definite relief in her expression, a lightness in her eyes now at his reassurance; "'Fine', I'm guessing, doesn't quite cover it?"

"And yet it does."

"That's all? No uncertainty; no nervousness? Sev, he's a seven-year-old boy. A huge handful."

"You forget I am a professor at Hogwarts. Not exactly a stranger to the trials that come with dealing with unruly youths."

"You don't know Harry." Lily grinned, now, her uneasiness beginning to leave her.

"Perhaps not. But I will."

Lily's grin left her then, as she regarded him; recognised the sincerity in his statement. She smiled, warm now, with a deep sincerity of her own.

"I'm quite certain I can handle him."

Lily raised an eyebrow, eyes suddenly sparkling, his reassurance leading to a resurgence of her merriment; "He has a propensity for cheek and finding trouble that would rival even that of his father."

"Ah. Not quite unlike his mother, then?"

Lily laughed at that, but shot him a look of mock offense; "Watch it, Professor."

Perhaps they were fooling themselves by even entertaining the notion, the idea that it would ever be an issue, that Severus would even have the chance to demonstrate the sincerity of his words.

But he wanted, more than ever, to prove it to her; that he would. He would accept the boy. He would take them both.

For now, though, all he could offer were words.

And he knew where Lily's true uncertainty lay, here; that it was more than merely the fact that she had a son. However much of an unruly pest the boy may be.

No. Lily was asking him something else. Had already made reference to it in this very conversation; the boy's father.

"Lily."

She met his eyes at the seriousness, the sincerity in his tone when he spoke again.

"Contrary to what Black suggested, I am well aware of who your son's father was. I won't deny that the fact is a rather, well, unpleasant one, to me. But said unpleasantness is rendered almost irrelevant when considered alongside the larger issues at hand here –"

"But we can't always think of it that way, Severus. It might seem small compared to the war, now, but when we don't have to deal with it anymore, when it's just us, our perspectives could change. They will change."

"This won't. Because, even if that were to be the case, there are…other feelings that render it practically obsolete. Certainly it would never be so great that I would chose the alternative option."

Lily held his look, as she considered his words. His indirect assertions that, quite frankly, he couldn't care less who Harry Potter's father was; not if it meant he would have to give up her as the price to pay for keeping his foolish pride. Frankly, Lily could declare that the boy was the offspring of the Dark Lord himself, right now, and he doubted it would send him running.

Severus knew what he wanted.

Lily smiled.

He knew, then, that he had convinced her. The future suddenly seeming clearer, the picture of it that much more appealing, now that it suddenly had the potential to become real.

"Other feelings?" Lily tilted her head to the side, teasingly, eyes endearingly curious, even if he knew she must know exactly what he meant.

Severus wasn't playing games.

He meant everything he was saying to her.

"I love you."

The playfulness in her expression gave way to surprise, almost shock.

And then a slow smile came to her, different than before, along with an instant brightening in her eyes; each betraying delight. She lifted her chin, still smiling; "You've never told me that before."

What?

Preposterous!

How could he not?

But then, considering it, perhaps that was true. For, to him, loving Lily Evans had become something so natural to him that it had become synonymous with the very essence of normality. The statement so evident that it need not be spoken, at all. After all, he would not, for example, walk up to Regulus and announce "the sky is blue".

Yet, that he had never told her, had never spoken the words, well; that was totally unacceptable. While he was certain it was something Lily most definitely knew, for his actions and behaviour more than revealed it to be so, it was something that ought to have been expressed once in a while, surely, over the course of the past three months.

Nonetheless, they were spoken now and he would not repeat them again, not at this moment, as repeating them seemed as if it would diminish their worth. Not to mention the fact that he was not so far gone that he would ever resort to needless repetitions and mutterings of sweet nothings.

The very thought almost made him cringe.

"I would have thought it was obvious."

Lily's smile widened; "It is." There was laughter in her voice.

He smiled and she laughed, then, drawing him to her for a kiss. He didn't even glance at the timepiece as he reached down for the hem of the shirt she wore; hell, he would make time if he had to. Not at all ready to head back out there right now.

The small taste of domesticity granted to them giving him a glimpse of something more than he could have ever hoped for. The shadowy path ahead seeming lit now by the promise of the future.

Severus knew that what he was saying was honest, that what he believed was true. There was, quite literary, nothing that he wouldn't do for her. He had known that to be the case for a long time.

As if he was going to let that resolve be brought down by such a minor issue as a child.

Lily giggled against his lips.

Severus carried on, completely certain in his resolution that, one day, he should be quite happy to finally know Harry Potter.

After all, how much trouble could one little boy truly be?