In a frenzy of panic and worry, Tony called 911, and the ambulance arrived within minutes. Angela had not regained consciousness, not even when Tony had carried her into his apartment and laid her gently on the couch. When the paramedics arrived, they administered oxygen with a mask and Angela began to come around.
"Ma'am, can you tell us how you're feeling?" the paramedic asked her.
"My stomach hurts so much," she cried out.
The medic assessed Angela as best he could, and gave Tony a dirty look after he palpated her injured lip.
"I didn't do that!" Tony said. "She came to me for help, after her husband did that," he explained.
The medic nodded. "Ok, hold on, we're taking her to the hospital now. You can follow us."
Tony woke Samantha and asked her to keep an eye on Jonathan. At twelve and a half, he figured she was old enough to stay home, and there was a full staff of servants at the Randall estate she could call in a jiffy if need be. Tony did not want to leave Angela's side. He followed the ambulance in his van, terrified for Angela, worried about her unborn baby, and wondering what Michael had done to her. The anger he felt about her fat lip niggled at the back of his mind, mingled with his anxiety for her health. But he was glad she had come to him for safety, and he vowed he would take care of her.
Once at the hospital, Tony rushed to Angela's side in the ER. He hated that he felt the need to explain that he had not split Angela's lip, but Angela defended him and told the hospital staff that she wanted him by her side.
He stood next to her bed in the ER cubicle, anxiously watching as nurses checked Angela's belly. "Is it the baby?" he asked.
"Not sure yet," the nurse said, before she asked Angela to explain her symptoms again.
Angela described the pain in her abdomen and the one in her shoulder. She felt so vulnerable on the little ER cot, wearing a thin hospital issued gown, surrounded by harsh lights and too many strangers poking at her. Finally the doctor arrived and spoke with the nurse. He shook his head when he saw her injured mouth and asked if she had fallen recently.
"My stomach hurt before I fell, but falling made it worse," she explained.
"How did you fall?"
"I fell off the bed and landed on my backside, hard."
"May I ask how that happened?"
"It wasn't him," she said, pointing to Tony. "He's helping me!"
The doctor looked at her and waited.
"It was my husband, er, he, was being rough with me and I didn't want to," she began to say, ashamed at recounting this with Tony in the room. "I tried to get away from him and fell off the bed. That's when the pain in my belly became sharp. But my shoulder was hurting all day, and I had a belly ache before the fall as well."
Tony clenched his teeth at her words and wanted to punch something. The thought of Angela needing to escape her husband in the bedroom because he was too rough with her made him feel sick to his stomach. If he ever saw Michael, he would ensure that the man never went near his wife again.
"Any spotting?" the doctor asked.
"Only since I got here," she said. "I'm losing the baby, aren't I?"
"Right now, with the symptoms you describe and the fact that you fainted and have extremely low blood pressure, I strongly suspect an ectopic pregnancy. That's when the fetus develops outside of the uterus, usually in the fallopian tube. It causes extreme pain, including shoulder pain." The doctor wrote something down. "I'm sending you for an ultrasound right now. If it is an ectopic pregnancy, you will require emergency surgery to remove the fetus. You're in danger of losing a fallopian tube, and worst case scenario, could bleed to death internally if it ruptures."
"What!?" Tony practically jumped up. "You mean she could die?"
"It's a rare complication. That's why we have to find out exactly what's going on right now." The doctor called an orderly and had Angela wheeled over to the ultrasound department within minutes. Tony ran behind the gurney, sweating as he went. He could see the top of Angela's head, and he tried to make eye contact with her, but she had her eyes closed, tears streaming down her face. They wheeled her into the ultrasound room and Tony followed, heedless of Angela's privacy. Right now, he was willing her to stay alive, and had no intention of letting her out of his sight. He barely flinched when the ultrasound technician raised her nightgown and spread gel all over her barely swollen belly. He stayed as the technician moved the wand, and he watched the screen, not understanding what he was looking at.
The technician nodded at the doctor, who had also followed, eager to receive the results instantaneously.
"Ok, Mrs. Bower, we're taking you to the OR right now. You need emergency surgery. The fetus is growing in your right fallopian tube, right here, see?" He pointed to the screen. Angela stared blankly, not comprehending the images before her.
"So, I'm losing this baby?" she cried.
"Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to save it at this point. We need to save you before your fallopian tube ruptures," he told her.
"Tony!" Angela reached out to him and held out her hand. "Please don't leave me," she pleaded. "It hurts so much."
He clasped her cold fingers in his. "I'm right here, Angela. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry about the baby," he said, as he swallowed back a lump in his throat.
"We need a surgery prep STAT!" the doctor shouted. Within seconds an OR nurse came to his side. "Give her something for the pain, will you? She's having emergency surgery."
"Yes Doctor," she said. The nurse hurried away and returned to Angela's gurney, which was temporarily parked in the hallway, waiting. The nurse took out a syringe and spoke kindly to Angela, "This will calm you before you go into the OR, okay? Just to take the edge off before the general anesthetic."
Angela nodded and the nurse turned her over and deftly injected her in the buttocks. "The OR will be ready in a few minutes. You just need to wait here, but you won't be feeling that pain anymore, alright Honey?"
Angela thanked the nurse and closed her eyes. Her hand was still gripping Tony's, hard but as the medication kicked in, her fingers began to unclench from his and now rested comfortably in his warm hand.
"You're going to be okay, Angela," he said, almost like a mantra. "You're going to be okay. You'll recover from this." He nodded his head hard. "I'll be here for you when it's all over."
She turned to face him and opened her heavy eyelids and thanked him. "You're so good to me, Tony," she said, a slight slur to her words now. "I knew I'd be safe with you. Please don't let Michael take Jonathan while I'm in the hospital," she said, suddenly more alert.
"Ma'am, it's time to go," the nurse said.
"Wait!" Angela used the last bit of her strength to convey her wishes to Tony. "Please keep my son safe. Take care of him. Please."
"Alright, Angela, I will."
She relaxed at his words. "Ok, thanks Tony. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Of course I'll do it," he said with a gentle squeeze to her now floppy hand. "You go and have your surgery now."
The nurse nodded at Tony and began moving quickly toward the now ready OR. Angela held Tony's hand until the gurney was too far, and their fingers fell apart. "And Tony, I love you," she said, before falling asleep.
"Wait! What?!" Tony ran after the gurney but Angela was already out like a light. "Did you hear that?" he asked the nurse.
The nurse rushed past him, ignoring him completely. Tony was left alone in the hospital corridor, wondering at Angela's words.
They were not able to save Angela's fallopian tube. It ruptured during the surgery, and she required an emergency blood transfusion. But they did save her life, and when she awoke from the surgery, they told her she still had one good fallopian tube and would be able to get pregnant, though perhaps not as easily now. Angela listened to the medical staff numbly, still in shock and grieving the loss of her baby. She turned her head away from them and willed them to leave her alone.
Tony had gone home during the surgery, to check on the children and Jonathan was pleading with him to let him see his mother. Tony sent Samantha to school and gave Jonathan some of Samantha's old tomboyish clothes to dress in, for the child only had pajamas on him. Tony was worried that Michael would be looking for the boy by now and might even call the police, so he called him briefly before heading to the hospital. He waited until Jonathan went to get himself dressed and was alone in the living room.
"Hello," Michael answered the phone.
"Er Michael, it's Tony. I've, um got some news."
"Are my wife and son with you?" he shouted into the phone.
"Angela is at Fairfield General recovering from emergency surgery," Tony told him, careful to keep his voice calm and neutral.
"What?!"
"She had an ectopic pregnancy, and they had to remove it. I'm sorry."
"What?! Well why the hell did she go to you? She took my son. I want him back, Tony. Now."
"I'm taking Jonathan to the hospital to visit his mother. She left him in my care, Michael. She asked me to take care of him while she's in the hospital."
"She can't do that. He's my son. You bring him back or I'm calling the police and having you charged with kidnapping."
"You're not going to do that Michael," Tony said, his tone firm. "If you call the police, I'll tell them how your abuse your wife. Angela entrusted her son to me, to keep him safe from you."
"I've never touched my son!" Michael was aghast.
"Maybe not, but he's traumatized by what you did to Angela. And right now, I have a little boy who desperately wants to see his mother. I'm bringing him to her."
"I'm coming too," he said.
"No, you're not. The hospital staff already knows you busted her lip. Angela warned them not to let you near her, and they have security, Michael."
"You're a real asshole, you know that?" Michael shouted into the phone.
"Good-bye Michael," Tony hung up the phone and steadied himself. There was no way he was going to let that child go back to his father, not when Angela had begged him to take care of Jonathan.
Angela. He thought of her now, and of her last words to him before she slipped beneath a drug-induced twilight. He wondered if she meant the words, or even remembered them for that matter. He wondered if they were born of a sense of gratitude for helping her during a dangerous situation. He pondered how he felt about her. He was extremely fond of her, especially since last Christmas when she had helped him empty his father's apartment. That's when their friendship had truly deepened. He cared what happened to her; he cared a hell of a lot. He found her attractive, that was certain and found himself thinking of her large, dark eyes and elegant features. But love? Yes, he supposed he did love her, because if he didn't, he wouldn't be so jealous of Michael, or miss her so damned much, or want to take such good care of her only child. He had loved living in her home, sharing her life, not just working for her, but being her confidant, her co-parent and friend. He definitely loved her as a friend, and he was attracted to her, and when he knew there was a chance she could die yesterday, he was filled with fear and dread. Now that she had successfully come out of surgery, he felt an enormous sense of relief, like a boulder being lifted from his belly.
His next call was to Mona, who it turns out was unaware that Jonathan and Angela had fled their home during the night. Tony filled her in on everything, including his temporary guardianship of Jonathan, and she said she would head over to the hospital. "I'm glad he's with you, Tony. If he was in my apartment, Michael would be banging on the door, trying to take him away."
"I'm not letting Michael anywhere near this kid," Tony assured her.
A few moments later, Jonathan came out of the bathroom. "Tony, can we go see my Mommy now?" Jonathan asked. He had dressed in old jeans and a sweatshirt of Samantha's, which were in fact boy's clothes the tomboy had chosen to wear when she was his age. Tony had a closet full of old stuff that Jonathan could use until Angela was well enough to go home. At that point, he hoped Michael would leave and not complicate things. After all, wasn't the jungle always calling to him?
"Yeah buddy, I'm ready to go. We can stop and get your mom some flowers on the way. How does that sound?"
"Ok, something pink, Tony. My mom likes pink a lot."
"I know. I believe that pink roses are her favourite flower. She's mentioned it."
Angela slipped in and out of sleep, aided by the powerful painkillers she was taking. At least her shoulder felt normal again and her belly ached a lot less. What she felt was extreme sadness at the loss of her baby. She put her hand over her flat tummy and sighed. She couldn't keep the tears from falling, and the doctor had told her she might experience post-partum blues because of the sudden drop in pregnancy hormones. She felt blue all over, along with a sense of hopelessness over her marriage. She did not want to be with Michael anymore, and now that she had lost the baby, she assumed he would not have a reason for staying. She also wanted him far from her son. Jonathan was better off without a father than with a violent, angry one. Besides, Jonathan had Tony as a father-figure. Tony. Her lips curved into an almost smile. The thought of him made her feel safe and cared for. She knew her son was in good hands. Tony, a port in a storm for her and her son. While she thought of Tony, he suddenly appeared at her hospital room door, with Jonathan in tow. He knocked quietly and peered inside. Angela had a private room in the maternity ward; they had not put her with any labour and delivery patients due to her situation.
"Hi, can we come in?" he said softly. "There's someone who can't wait to see you."
Angela nodded and invited them in. She saw the vase of pink roses in Tony's hands and almost began crying anew. "My favourite flowers," she cried. "Oooh, they're lovely, thank you." Tony put the flowers on Angela's side table and kissed her on the forehead.
"How are you feeling?"
"Mommy!" Jonathan ran to his mother, and threw his arms around her. She winced at his weight on her belly but held onto him tightly regardless. He was her baby, even at seven, he was still her precious baby. She kissed him on the head and inhaled his little boy scent.
"Are you okay now Mommy?" came his muffled question, his face nestled in his mother's neck.
"I'm fine, Sweetheart. Just fine. You can stop worrying, alright?" She squeezed him more tightly and kissed him again.
"How are you feeling?" Tony asked again. He wanted to shed a tear or two himself seeing the tearful reunion between Angela and Jonathan. In fact, he felt like hugging the both of them tightly against himself and joining in the melee.
"I'm doing alright." Angela turned the room's TV on and directed Jonathan to watch the cartoon she selected for him.
"Are you sure?" Tony whispered, ensuring first that the little boy was engrossed in the TV.
"Physically, I'm fine," she said. "Emotionally, I'm a wreck," she whispered to him. "I'm going to have to tell him about the …" Angela made a cradling motion with her arms. She knew the little boy had been looking forward to becoming a big brother, and would be devastated. She herself felt so bereft and empty now, hollow inside. She wiped a tear away.
"I'm so sorry for your loss, Angela. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now." He sat down on the chair next to her bed and took her hand in his. "It's very sad. You have to give yourself time to grieve."
She nodded and sniffled, and grasped their held hands with her other hand. "Thank you, Tony. Thank you for everything."
"Do you, um, do you remember much about the surgery?" he asked her, wondering if she remembered her parting words of love to him.
Angela tilted her head. "No, I was given a general anesthetic. Didn't feel a thing," she told him. "But the doctor told me that …," she began but did not finish her words.
"What is it? What did the doctor tell you?" Tony squeezed her hand a bit more tightly.
"My fallopian tube ruptured," she said. "It's going to be harder for me to have more children now." She looked down at their clasped hands and stifled a sob. "I've just lost so much."
Not knowing what to say, or how to support her, Tony put his arm around her and drew her close to him. She leaned over to where he sat and let him hold her. They had no words at this time, but Angela rested her head on his shoulder and drew comfort from his presence. They stayed this way, silent and close, Angela hyper aware of Tony's solid strength. She closed her eyes and did not try to stop the flow of tears that rolled down her cheeks. Tony grabbed a tissue from the bedside and dabbed at them from time to time but said no words. He made the occasional crooning sound and muttered, "hush hush" to her.
It was this way that Mona found them, Angela resting on Tony's shoulder, his arm around her while she slept.
"Hi," she whispered, careful not to wake her daughter.
"Mone! You made it." Tony whispered back. "Did, er, you have any difficulties?"
"You mean Michael?"
Tony nodded.
"Michael and I had a little chat," she began. She looked over at Jonathan and paused, then studied him for a moment. The kid was engrossed in his cartoon and hadn't even registered his grandmother's arrival. She turned back to Tony and continued. "A few weeks ago, it was a bruised cheek. Now, I see that he's hit her again." Mona shook her head sadly. "I kept waiting for her to kick him out after the last time, but she wouldn't. Some stubborn trait she has, and her pathological fear of failure."
"Poor kid," Tony muttered. "So, how did your chat with Michael go?" Tony pressed.
"I kicked him out."
"You did?" Tony was impressed. "How?"
"Easily enough. Last time Michael deserted Angela, he didn't pay her any child support. I reminded him of that, and of her bruised cheek and the fact that there's no baby on the way anymore." Mona looked sad for a moment and sniffled. "I told him that if he tried to stay, Angela and I would both report him to the authorities for domestic abuse, and to the divorce lawyers for being a deadbeat, which would affect his visitation. If he leaves willingly, he can stay in touch with Jonathan, supervised, of course."
"You're amazing, Mona," he said.
"Whaat? What's going on?" Angela woke up, surprised to find that she had fallen asleep on Tony. "Mother, hi."
"Hey there sleepyhead. How are you feeling?" Mona gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek and a small squeeze. "I'm so sorry, Dear. About the baby. I know how much you wanted it."
Angela nodded and bit her lip to prevent herself from crying again. "Oh Mother," she said, her voice cracking. "I did want that baby."
Mona had been through this type of loss with Angela already, when she had had her two miscarriages. She knew there was nothing she could do except wait for time to dull the pain. And of course, listen to her daughter for as much as she needed to talk about it. Mona had wanted more children herself but there had been complications during Angela's delivery. As such, she was very sensitive to issues of loss, and did not rely on her usual acerbic wit, or sarcastic backtalk to joke her way out of it.
"I do have some good news for you though."
"You do?"
"I kicked Michael out. He's leaving tonight. The jungle awaits."
"Mother, you did that? But how?"
"Oh you know, mothers have a way of protecting their children. I don't want you to worry about it. The bum is gone."
"Mother, thank you. Thank you so much." Angela grasped her mother's hand and squeezed.
"Daddy's leaving?" Jonathan became aware of the hushed conversation behind him when a commercial break come on the TV.
"Oh, oh yes, um Sweetheart." Angela stumbled over her words. She was torn between wanting her son not to realize what a jerk his father was, and of course, enormous relief at Michael's departure. But she worried how the news would affect the little boy.
"That's good."
"It is? You're okay with that?" Angela blinked in surprise. She was under the impression that Jonathan adored his father.
"Daddy hurt you. I don't want him to hurt you anymore, or the baby," he said.
"Oh Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you had to witness that," Angela said. "Come here Jonathan, let's turn off the television, shall we? Mommy needs to talk to you."
Tony and Mona looked at each other forlornly.
"What is it Mommy?"
"It's about the baby, Sweetheart," Angela began. "The baby is going to be born in heaven," she told him, not knowing how to explain pregnancy loss to him.
"Why?"
"Because the baby wasn't growing properly inside of me. It couldn't be born on earth." Angela took in her son's disappointed face and felt like she had been punched in the gut. "So, the baby is going to be born in heaven instead," she explained.
"Does that mean I won't become a big brother?"
Tony saw Angela was on the verge of tears again so he stepped in. "No buddy, it means you're the big brother to an angel in heaven. And that's extra special because you have a little brother or sister watching over you and looking out for you now."
Angela gave Tony a grateful nod.
Given that he was only seven years old, Jonathan did not fully comprehend what the grown ups were saying, but he could see that they were very sad, and he felt sad too. "I'm sad, Mommy."
"Me too, Sweetheart. Me too." She hugged him again and held on to him as tightly as she could. Tony looked down at them and he knew. He knew in that moment that he did love her. He loved both of them; Jonathan like his own child and Angela, well, he was in love with Angela. He admired her grace and strength in the face of immeasurable loss, and wanted nothing more than to comfort her. This time he did not hold back. He wrapped his arms around the both of them and held on for dear life.