Chapter Sixty-Four

Malachi darted through the cottage.

Peered excitedly through each doorway into the adjourning rooms – for they had become accustomed to having only a single room the past few months – and Regulus had almost forgotten just how bright his son's smile could be, for it had been so long since he'd seen it.

"Are we staying here?" His son turned wide eyes to him.

"You approve of the place, then?" Regulus grinned.

"Yup!"

Sirius chuckled.

Regulus glanced his way, meeting his eyes, and his smile turned warmer as he gave him a nod; his own approval at his brother's choice.

Anything would have done, really. Both he and Malachi were now so used to moving from place to place, the most luxurious of accommodations they had found themselves in being the shack that the Death Eaters had chased them from the week before.

In comparison, this two story cottage was a palace.

And his brother had gone all out to make it as comfortable as possible for them. Had furnished it, ready for their arrival, and had even gone as far as to pack up and distribute some of the items that Regulus had left behind at Newton's; things he thought long gone.

A moving picture of himself, Evelyn and Malachi quickly caught his eye, hanging on the wall just above the fireplace.

"Look, Dad! Uncle Sirius made this one into a games room!" Malachi's voice called out from one of the rooms beyond.

Sirius chuckled again, giving Regulus a shrug; "Figured he could do with some distractions. Won't be long 'till he's bored of this place too."

"It's great, Sirius." Regulus nodded at him, eyes scanning the room again; "Thanks."

"Hey, don't mention it, little brother. It was my pleasure!"

"You didn't have to unpack all our stuff."

"Plenty time on my hands, these days."

Regulus glanced at him then, at the tinge of regret in his voice; reminded that Sirius was alone now. Lily Potter and her son having left him. Or, rather, Sirius opting to leave them. Because he'd been a jackass.

Regulus opted not to voice his opinion out loud. Again.

"Should we do this, then?" Regulus said, instead, changing the subject.

Despite the light air of the room, contributed to substantially by Malachi's excited running and proclamations, both he and Sirius were aware of the real urgency here. His brother had come to him in a panic, some days before, asserted that the Fidelius had to be cast immediately; Bella knew that Sirius was hiding him.

Or, rather, it seemed the Dark Lord was under the impression that the Order was hiding him.

Either way, time was running out.

They needed to do this now.

"Yeah." Sirius conceded, with a nod; "You know what you're doing?"

"I thought you were going to cast it?"

"I can't. I'm the Secret Keeper. You have to bind it to me."

Regulus drew in a breath; "Right."

He hadn't known the particulars of the spell, before, when he had approached Sirius. But he knew his brother did, that he had utilised the charm before; had made Peter Pettigrew the Potter's Secret Keeper in 1981.

Regulus had only ever been average at charms.

What if he messed this up?

"Hey." Sirius gave him a nudge; "It's fine. We've been over it."

Regulus nodded; "Yeah. Right. Okay."

He pulled out his wand.

"Let's do this."

Severus understood.

Lily had held back any further comments on what had happened the week before. Seemed determined to supress her feelings in light of what she had learned, what she now knew about what Severus had to do.

Though it seemed that what really bothered her, here, was what Dumbledore was willing to do.

Her silence by no means indicated acceptance.

Severus knew, well enough, that Lily would never, truly, accept the reality of what had to be done to win this war. She was too emotionally driven, too unable to reconcile the difference between what should be done versus what had to be done; the unquestionable truth that Dumbledore had to consider the good of the many in this.

And the many went beyond the lives of his own fighters.

The entire fate of Wizarding Britain rested upon his shoulders.

Severus didn't envy him a jot.

Of course some would be aghast. Would fail to understand. Trust irrevocably shaken in the old man if people were to learn the details. Though, frankly, if people just thought about the whole thing a bit more carefully, it was incredibly obvious what was going on.

But Lily hadn't wanted to.

And Severus hadn't wanted her to, either. He had kept her in the dark as much as possible; never revealing any details of what had happened at meetings with either Dumbledore or the Dark Lord. No mention of the information Dumbledore saw fit to give up. Of the interrogations made of him by the Dark Lord. Of the lives he could do nothing but stand by and watch be taken, as the Circle of Death Eaters gathered around their master.

The attack on Order Headquarters had been the first time he had let her see. Allowed himself to let her in. If only because there was no way he was going to sit at the other side of the table, that night, when he knew an attack was imminent.

Severus didn't regret it, as such. He would always put her safety above all else. Even his cover, if need be. That's just the way it was.

But the consequences of it were...uncomfortable, at best.

Lily may not have made any further verbal protests. But her feelings were perfectly clear by the expression on her face as she sat – flanked once more by Black and Lupin, opposite him – glaring daggers at the Headmaster as he addressed the Order once more, the first official meeting to take place since the attack.

Judging by the look on her face, one would think her life aspiration was to go down in history as the first to successfully cast a wandless, non-verbal killing curse.

If only sheer will could make it so.

Severus shot her a warning look of his own.

If Dumbledore noticed he'd never hear the end of it!

Lily averted her eyes, attempting to check her emotions, settling for a glower at the table top in front of them, as the Order members carried on discussing issues of security. A fixed location where they could gather, safely, once more, now that their previous Headquarters were compromised.

"I know a place." Sirius Black spoke up.

Severus barely took notice, mind still on Lily and the issue at hand; one that could not be ignored, for he could see it continuing to fester in her mind.

He confronted her later that night.

"Surely you understand the need for self-control."

"I thought I controlled myself pretty well."

"Lily, you're lucky the entire table didn't notice. You barely spoke all night."

"Sorry." She sounded anything but; "You'll have to excuse me if I find it difficult, keeping something like that from everyone."

"Keeping secrets is, all of a sudden, too difficult?"

"That's a bit below the belt, don't you think?" Her eyes flashed.

Severus pursed his lips together. Were they actually in a fight, right now?

He drew in a calming breath; "Clearly this is something we need to discuss rationally. Before our own emotions lead to this escalating further."

Lily shook her head, suddenly; "No. It's fine. You don't have to –"

"Lily."

A silence fell over them. Both seeming to wait for the other to speak.

Lily sighed, shaking her head, the flash of disappointment evident in her eyes; "People trust him."

"Yes. They do. And not just Order members. He has, quite literally, the faith of everyone of the light on his shoulders right now."

"That doesn't make it right that he values the lives of Order members less."

"You know that's not how it is. And those of us who joined him knew well enough what we were signing up for."

"And what's that?"

"To be Dumbledore's men. To fight for his cause. Fight and die for him, if the circumstances call for it."

"Except we did not expect Dumbledore to create the circumstances under which we would have to! I mean, what if it had been Sirius or Remus who had fallen last week?"

Severus pursed his lips together. Knew better than to answer that.

"Lily, those in the Order, they – we – are soldiers. We're not civilians. Not innocents. We pledged ourselves to this fight. And if someone fighting for that cause were to die for it, what does it matter if it happens on the glory of the battlefield or peacefully in bed, so long as said cause is furthered as a result?"

"Is that what you'd be saying if it was me who had died that night?"

Severus glowered.

He clenched his jaw, almost grinding out the word; "No."

"Well."

"Obviously there are underlying personal conflicts in these times. For everyone. Which is why we need a strong leader – Dumbledore – who has taken it upon himself to stand back and make the decisions for us, decisions we, mere mortals, would never be able to make."

"And what if one of his decisions meant that I was to be one of his so-called sacrifices?"

"He wouldn't."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"How?"

"Because every man has his limits and Dumbledore is well aware of mine."

"Then my life takes precedent above everyone else's?"

"That's right."

"That's hardly fair."

"Well, that's how it is." To say he was becoming irritated would be an understatement; "Call it a perk of the job, if you will."

It came out as a snap. A silence filling the room following.

Lily raised an eyebrow.

Severus wondered if he had somehow proven a point of hers. His comment almost betraying the strain he felt as he attempted to juggle it all; the role of spy with the far more pleasant one of being with Lily.

Apparently, though, Lily was feeling some strain of her own. The week following the incident at Headquarters allowing the issue to simply stew in her mind.

Severus sighed; "As you already know, Dumbledore and I made a deal."

"Yes, I do know. And I think it goes without saying that I hardly appreciate the methods by which Dumbledore recruits his spies."

Severus pursed his lips together, knowing where this was going next.

"I made my choice."

"Choice? Is that what you call it?"

"Don't go there, Lily. This is treading just a little too close to pity. I don't care for it."

"It's not pity. It's rage!"

Severus rolled his eyes.

"He used you. He's still using you!"

"Dumbledore and I were not allies when I approached him. In fact, I was the enemy. And it is only logical that he should seek to take whatever he could from me under the circumstances, considering I asked and was granted something more than a little important to me at the time in return."

"Asked him? He would have hidden us anyway. And if, by any chance, he wouldn't have then that is even more reason why you should tell him to shove his deal up his arse!"

Severus smirked.

"I told you before; you don't owe him anything."

"That's not true. He gave me far more than what he promised me that night. Yes, he protected you, but it went beyond that. The years which followed the fall of the Dark Lord were more than a little satisfactory for me. I made a life, a life I would not have had the opportunity to experience, had it not been for him. Indeed, I had everything that I could have ever wanted in those years. Except one."

"What?"

"Hm." He raised an eyebrow.

Lily smiled then.

And then she sighed; "I just…I just hate this. I hate that he has this thing over you."

"Stop, Lily. Hate it all you like; it won't change the way things are. And, whatever your feelings may be for me now, do not fool yourself into believing that I am one of those innocent lives that needs to be protected. Not even close."

Lily stepped towards him then, looking him right in the eye and taking his hands in hers; "I love you."

Severus never tired of hearing it. The words still a thing of fantasy. His fingers tightened around hers.

"You're too good for him. Don't let him do this. Don't let him take any more than what's he's already taken."

"Are you asking me to quit, Lily?"

Lily hesitated.

She knew better.

Both knew it wasn't an option.

"No. I'm just telling you that I'm with you. No matter what you have to do."

Severus sighed.

Pulled his hands free and reached up, taking her face in his hands and pressing his lips to hers. Kissed her soundly, his fingers trailing the side of her neck before curling into her hair, drawing her closer.

Love didn't even come close to describing his own feelings, in that moment.

Words rendered practically inept.

But he said it anyway, murmuring it into her hair when he drew her closer, lips going to her neck, before he drew back.

Lily pressed her forehead to his, eyes closed.

"Won't be forever." She said it, quietly, almost as if to herself.

"Mhm." He agreed. Longing once more for the day when he could walk away; when it would be just the two of them.

Well, three.

Speaking of which.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." Lily drew back, reluctance in her eyes; "Harry."

Severus nodded.

She pressed her lips back to his, once, twice, before drawing back, completely. She brushed the hair back from her face; "I'll see you on Monday?"

"Right."

Mondays never came soon enough.

Lily gave him a smile, lifting her cloak and making her way from the house.

Severus knew better than to assume the matter had been settled.

Dumbledore was always going to be an issue.

Lily was just too different to the both of them, too good that she would never be able to reconcile the truth with how she believed things ought to be.

And Severus wouldn't change her for the world.

But, deep down, he feared that the reality of this world just might do so anyway.

As both expected and feared, Regulus was back in the fight within days of the Fidelius being cast.

He had asked Sirius to arrange it, the meeting with Dumbledore. And his circumstances just so happened to coincide perfectly with the dilemma currently facing the Order of the Phoenix; they found themselves without Headquarters, while Regulus found himself unable to easily move from one place to another.

As such, it was decided; Regulus would offered up the new, charmed cottage to Dumbledore as Headquarters until they finally ended this thing.

Dumbledore was most pleased by the turn of events, arriving an hour earlier than the Order was scheduled to, in order to discuss the matter at hand.

The 'matter at hand' being what Regulus' role ought to be, now that he had revealed himself once more, though little discussion was needed as both were well of aware that it could only be one thing; Horcrux Hunter.

The same task as it had always been, for years now. Even if his progress had been almost painfully slow. Only three horcruxes gathered and still, seemingly, no end in sight. Neither he nor Dumbledore aware of just how many the Dark Lord had dared to make.

The man was so insane he could have made dozens.

But Dumbledore seemed to have an idea of how to find out the precise number. For which, Regulus would need a little help. In the form of a Mrs Lily Potter.

"Can you teach me Wizarding Chess, Dad?"

Regulus ruffled Malachi's hair, eyes going to the timepiece on the wall; "I've got some people coming over. Maybe later, okay?"

Malachi nodded, looking curious; "Who's coming?"

"Work people. Severus will be here."

Malachi brightened; "Can I see him?"

"Sure. But later, alright? I'll tell him to come through and find you."

"I saw Professor Dumbledore here, too," Malachi remarked, looking curiously down the hallway; "Is he still here?"

"Yes. Now. Will you be alright in here? Or did you want to go upstairs?"

"Here's fine," Malachi said, with an eager glance around the game room.

Before Regulus could say anything more the door to the cottage swung open, making Malachi flinch; too used to running, to hiding now. Always seeming on edge that, sooner or later, they were going to be caught.

Regulus gave him a reassuring smile and brushed their hair back from his forehead, before he stood and made his way to the doorway, peering out at the first arrival.

Severus.

No doubt.

The man was as punctual as ever.

Severus didn't notice him. Shrugged himself out of his cloak and slung it over his arm, looking around the hallway with disinterest, and Regulus was struck by how exhausted his friend looked. Regulus leaned against the doorframe behind him.

Severus' eyes travelled, as if expecting someone to come and greet him; to tell him where to go next. Mere moments before his eyes settled, taking in a moving picture up on the landing above; one of Regulus and Malachi from some years before.

Severus frowned, peering up at it.

"Yeah. I mean, it's not Newton's or anything but, hey –"

Severus' head snapped sharply in his direction.

"- I guess it'll just have to do."

Severus stared.

Regulus grinned.

He held out his arms at either side of himself; "What do you think? Do I look different to you? I think I might've finally shed that puppy fat you so love to point out to me."

Severus lips twitched for a second and then he smiled.

Regulus stepped towards him with a laugh, grasping him by the arm and pulling him forward for an embrace; Severus attempted to pull back, say something – "what are you –" but then his friend's laughter joined his and Severus slapped him on the back, letting Regulus pull him in and hug him tight.

"How –" Severus eventually pulled himself back, though their hands still clung to one another's arms, looking at Regulus in wide eyed disbelief.

"I take it my brother never revealed this little detail?"

As if on cue, the door burst open once more and said brother strode into the cottage, unabashedly, Remus Lupin and Lily Potter close on his heels.

Severus pulled back, completely then, composing himself.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt the heart-warming reunion," Sirius joked, as he passed them by, heading down towards the dining room.

Remus Lupin followed. As did Mrs Potter. Though Regulus didn't miss the way her eyes met Severus' on the way past.

He and Severus followed; he lowered his voice, even if it was light with teasing; "I hear someone's been getting busy."

Severus looked at him with a frown.

Ha.

Regulus wiggled his eyebrows and gave a nod at Lily Potter's back.

Severus scowled instantly.

Regulus laughed again.

Lily glanced over her shoulder at them, then, first at Regulus and then at Severus, who rolled his eyes, looking away from her. She gave Regulus a smile.

He nodded, returning it.

And then the door down the hallway opened once more and further Order member piled into the house; all ready for the briefing ahead.

Lily met Regulus Black's eyes across the table.

This was rather awkward.

The last time they had seen one another, Regulus had just openly defected in a bid to save her life. She almost getting him killed in the aftermath.

He seemed unruffled by the fact. Shot her a bright smile; "It's a shame we weren't meeting again under better circumstances."

"I think anything would be better than the ones by which we parted."

Regulus laughed.

"True enough, Mrs Potter."

Lily smiled. The mans was just too infectious not to.

"I'm really sorry."

Regulus waved a hand; "Don't be. I handled the whole thing like a right dunderhead. I'm just glad Severus wasn't there. I'd have never heard the end of it, if he'd actually seen it!"

She giggled, struck by how she spoke of him, with such obvious affection.

Regulus shifted then, his jovial demeanour seeming to dampen somewhat; "Did Dumbledore tell you why he wanted you to stay behind?"

"Yes."

"You know about them? The horcruxes?"

"Not much. Just what he told me tonight."

"You're okay with it? With helping out? You don't have to actually come and find anything with me. He just thinks there's someone who'd be more willing to give up information to you than to me."

"Professor Slughorn."

"Yeah."

Lily nodded; "Okay."

Although she didn't see what help she could really be for, surely, if her old potions professor was aware of what Voldemort had done he would be just as unlikely to give up any information to her, as he would be to Dumbledore or even Severus.

"So, did Dumbledore just want me to march up to his door and ask him?"

Regulus chuckled; "No. No doubt he'll orchestrate some scenario where the two of you will just so happen to meet; a function or something."

Lily tensed at his words, unable to help herself; Dumbledore orchestrating events.

Regulus shrugged; "Until then, that's it. He'll probably be in touch; let you know when the opportunity comes up."

"I see."

"For now, we've gathered three. Dumbledore is attempting to destroy them as we speak."

"What is it Dumbledore has you doing?"

Regulus shrugged; "Looking for them."

"Alone?"

"Yes."

"Seems like a big task for just one man."

"I suppose. But then, it was me that came to Dumbledore with it. It's always been my assignment, really. Besides, it's…well. I don't think he would want to risk too many people with it."

Lily raised her chin.

"It's a bit dicey."

"More so when you haven't got anyone to back you up."

"Are you volunteering, Mrs Potter?"

"Maybe."

Regulus laughed, shaking his head; "Yeah, right. Sev would –" He broke off. But his eyes still had a lingering twinkle when he looked at her; "You're a real – what is it my brother called you – a spitfire? Yeah." He nodded, standing up.

Lily stood also, assuming that was a dismissal, though very little further information had really been shared between them. Nothing more than what Dumbledore had already explained to her, when she had reluctantly stayed behind at his request, before insisting she go to Regulus for further details – "for this was entirely Regulus' project".

Leaving her to wonder what Dumbledore's real wishes were that she would come out of the meeting thinking.

They headed from the room.

"Will you come back soon?" Malachi's voice sounded from the stairs.

"I doubt I will be away from this place long." Severus was standing at the bottom, arms crossed as he looked up at his Godson.

"Aren't you going to come and live here with us, again?"

"I'm afraid not. This house is simply to keep you out of harm's way, for the time being."

"But –"

"Off with you." Severus waved a hand; "It's beyond bedtime, by now."

Malachi gave him a smile, turning and doing as he was told, heading the rest of the way up the stairs.

"See he still doesn't risk defying you, Sev," Regulus said, when he and Lily reached him; "He rarely does as I tell him to do anymore. I think he's decided to try out the terrible twos on me, that I missed."

"Perhaps being cooped up with you for four months has driven him to it. I can just imagine." Severus lifted his eyes to the ceiling.

Regulus rolled his eyes, shooting him a smirk, and then he glanced, expectantly, between them both; a definite twinkle in his eyes when he spoke to Severus; "I take it you two will be heading off now then."

Severus narrowed his eyes at him.

Regulus grinned, unabashedly, indicating the door; "Have a good evening."

But, unable to do anything else, the two of them left without a word.

A smile playing on Lily's lips as they did.