Ch.2

(A/N Mrs. Byers still works at the general store, and she doesn't have official training in relationship counseling, she just has a lot of experience with bad relationships, hers and other people's, so she's the closest thing Hawkins has to a couples counselor)

As Hopper cut the engine, he told El and Mike that were to, "forget any words for telling someone that you are breaking up with them," because, "you are too young to understand when to end a relationship, and you shouldn't throw those words around randomly, cause all the sudden, they come true, if you say them enough. Trust me, eventually, say them enough, and nothing can fix that." (A/N Did you try Flex Tape, though, Hopper? (I bet he didn't try Flex Tape. If he and his ex were tied together, they would have probably reconciled. Or brutally murdered each other. Eh, either way, their relationship problems would have concluded.)) "I have plenty of experience with what not to do in relationships, and that, besides not apologizing, is the worst thing you can do," Hopper said. "Although I want to shoot him every time he comes within 2 feet of you, I don't want you guys to break up, cause Mike wouldn't recover for years, if at all, and that seems a little too much to put him through, no matter how much I want to shoot him. I also don't want you to break up because of the pain it would cause you, El. You need each other, you care about each other, and there was a time when you would've traded the world for the other. You can get back there, but you need to talk. You need to sit and talk. I would like to hear the conversation, but I want you guys to be able to talk without any distractions." Hopper said. "Now, I want you to find a neutral moderator. Someone who will never reveal anything, but is not overly in favor of one of you or the other. So, Mike, no A/V Club, El, no Max. For tonight, we'll just have to make do without one," Hopper said. "You know, Joyce is probably a good choice. Should I call her and set a meeting for around 2:20 tomorrow?" Hopper said to Mike and El.

"Sure, that's a great idea. Thanks, Hopper," Mike said quickly, before El could say no. "Oh, come on, El, you KNOW we need this," Mike said to El, after seeing the look on her face. "Fine, then," Mike said when El still didn't relent. "I'll just show up to the Byers's house alone, then. And since you don't want to talk about our problems, I'll just make sure Lucas has Max on a romantic getaway far away from any phones, so you won't be pestered by her to talk about what we have going on, right, El?" Mike said to El. "I'm also sure Hopper will make sure since you don't want to talk, you stay in the cabin, and away from anyone who would dare ask you about why you're so pissed at me all the time. Right, Hopper?" Mike asked Hopper, who nodded.

"Fine! I'll go talk to Mrs. Byers with Mike tomorrow," El growled.

"Great, but when I was talking earlier with Joyce, she wanted you two not to talk at all before the appointment, on the day of, and the subject of each other is to not be talked about." "She doesn't want you to get worked up before the appointment. She said to keep you occupied with chores until we needed to leave if I needed to, and I think that's the best approach." Hopper said to El.

"Nope! Nevermind!" said El.

"One, you can't back out now. Two, are you afraid of a little hard work, El?" "'Oh no, I might break a nail!'" Hopper said in a high voice, mocking El. "I'll even let you shower before we leave, although no makeup, or special clothes. This is not a date, it is a peace summit. You are allowed to look and dress how you normally do. No different." "Oh! I almost forgot! Mike, you are to report to Mr. Clarke at 4:00 am sharp! The rest of the A/V Club will be there! You're doing some nerdy science thing. He explained it, but I didn't understand." Hopper exclaimed, prompting an expression of outrage from El.

"Are you fucking kidding me! I have to work my ass off all day, but he gets to go on a science field trip! How is that fair!"

"That's fair for two reasons. One, the price for his ability to talk with you and Joyce is getting up at 3:30 in the morning, when it's already," Hopper paused as he checked his watch, "10 P.M. now, and it'll be an hour before he's home, then the Parental Inquisition will take another hour and a half, then the one from his friends will take around 30 minutes. So, he has to get up at 3:30, when he's probably going to bed at around 1 in the morning, when you get to sleep in till around 9 or 10. That's why this is fair. Two, he's not unjustifiably sassing his parents, doing copious amounts of drugs, or trying to fail out of school at every opportunity," Hopper said firmly.

"Alright, Alright, I get it," El said.

"I don't think you do, but whatever," Hopper said with a weary sigh. "The rules are this: 20 minutes, then I come back, the room door stays open 3 inches, the front door can be closed, the clothes stay on and the hands stay above the clothes, and if I hear screaming (A/N: Hopper means loud, non-verbal noise), and not just shouting, I will assume one of two things are happening, neither of which would be good for Mike health if I knew they were going on," Hopper paused, asks, "Understood?" then says, "Good. Well, I'm off. Play nice!"

20 minutes later, Hopper POV

Hopper walked up, and pushed open the door of the house, saying, "Hellllooooo? Mike? El? Anyone ho-," Hopper paused, saw the door to El's room was closed, and yelled, "SONOFABITCH!" while running toward the door, and shoulder-ramming it. "ELEVEN JANE HOPPER! Open this door RIGHT NOW!" Hopper yelled while rattling the door. "You have ten seconds to open this door before I burst in there with a shotgun IN HAND!" Hopper then slipped and fell on his face, as the door was suddenly opened by a slightly flushed Mike. Hopper stood up, noted the flush on Mike's face, then quickly looked at El, noticed nothing amiss- wait! Her t-shirt was askew, her hair was a mess, her face was even redder than Mike's, and the most damning of all, one of her bra straps was hanging loosely around her shoulder. (A/N: So what I'm trying to describe is that one of El' bra straps is like halfway off. Like halfway down her shoulder) Hopper closed his eyes, counted to ten, reminded himself why shooting/castrating Mike was not a good idea, reminded himself that El wasn't 13 years old anymore, she was 16, with Mike being almost 17, and reminded himself that at Mike's age, he had been screwing about 5 separate girls at any one time, then reminded himself that this was probably exactly how their dads felt, if not worse, because Mike cared about El, and was faithful. He hadn't cared hardly at all and was doing multiple girls at the same time. He reminded himself that this was probably payback for all times he had enjoyed sitting smugly, watching as a red-faced father tried not to have a stroke, or go on a violent, murderous rampage because of his flagrant casual disregard for their authority, and the disregard of their daughter's welfare. "ALRIGHT! Do I even want to know how long ago you two finished talking?" Hopper asked, slowly, in an icy tone.

"Since you left. We worked everything out in the car on the way here." Mike casually said to Hopper.

"HOW?!" Hopper exclaimed, before smacking himself in the head. "Of course! Morse Code! You two were holding hands so you could tap on each other's wrists and communicate privately. Fine!" Hopper said. "Now! Mike! OUT! Thirty feet away from the house." Hopper shouted. "YES SIR!" Mike said while mockingly saluting. "However I want that door to be open THREE INCHES at all times!" Mike added in an imitation of Hopper while pretending to cock a fake shotgun. "Get the hell out of my house, before I kick you out on your ass, kid," Hopper replied in a tired voice.

Once Mike left, El ran into her room, locked the door, and started playing Joan Jett's album, "Bad Reputation," (the whole album, not just the one song) at eardrum-rupturing levels (A/N El has earplugs, okay? They can be for tuning out Hopper, or for sleeping, whichever you want.). Hopper stumbled out of the house, covering his ears, and cursing vehemently. Mike started snickering when he saw Hopper stumbling out of the house.

"Your 'heart-to-heart' did not go as planned, eh?" Mike said, breathless from laughing.

"Kid," Hopper said to Mike, "Do both of us a favor, and shut up before I deck you, okay?"

"Look, I know she doesn't want to talk to you, but, uh, we should probably work something out between the two of us, if we have the time," Mike said to Hopper.

"Nope. Not happening. I'm not going to let you turn this into a negotiation about how 'far' you can go with El. You have an inch, and I am NOT going to let you manipulate the situation, so you can set up an opportunity to 'run a mile' with El, and you and I both know what I'm talking about." Hopper said firmly, before falling completely silent.

"That's not what I was suggesting we talk about, okay? El is going to completely fuck up her life if we don't do something. I just want to arrange a strategy to stop that from happening, okay?" Mike said, looking entreatingly toward Hopper.

"Alright, kid," Hopper said to Mike, "You got yourself a deal."

40 minutes later, Hopper and Mike POV

All the sudden El's music stopped, and they heard her open her door, walk to the front door, and look through the peephole. "Alright, you can come out, El" Hopper yelled. "We're done talking about this. I'm going to take Mike home, then we'll have dinner, and then triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas with chocolate ice cream for dessert! (A/N So Hopper, in his letter to El in S3, mentions that he misses making triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas with El, and when I go to stay at my grandma's house, she lets me and my younger brother eat ice cream and waffles (like an ice cream sandwich, but the cookie parts are Eggos) for dinner and/or breakfast, so I wanted to kinda blend the two, because something in me gets real tight at the thought of El and Hopper setting their arguments and relationship troubles aside and having a father/daughter moment over a nice dinner, with triple-decker Eggo and ice cream sandwiches for dessert.) "The feast of champions!" Hopper shouted. "That sounds good to you?" He asked El.

"Okay." She replied. And with that, Hopper and Mike climbed into Hopper's truck and drove off.

A/N I will probably repost chapters with news every week if I don't have any new chapters yet so follow either me as an author or this story to stay up to date.

End Ch.2

NEW PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT/AN: THE WEED THAT EL SMOKES IS 80'S WEED. THAT HAD WAY LESS THC, SO WHILE IT WAS STILL BAD FOR YOU, IT WAS SIGNIFICANTLY LESS SO. NOWW WEED WILL MESS YOU THE HELL UP. DONT DO IT. Also, I can hear you saying, "But if it was still bad for you, and El claims to get extremely high every day, how is she not getting messed up?" The answer is that she smokes in public, never private. She only does it to provoke Hopper. When she doesn't want to do that, she doesn't get high. She was EXTREMELY exaggerating her drug usage there to make Mike look bad. Also, some characters, (not main ones) will use some harder drugs. Honestly, that will probably only be ecstacy. THAT IS A DEADLY AND EXTREMELY ILLEGAL DRUG. EL ONLY PRODUCES IT BECAUSE SHE IS BEING THREATENED WITH SERIOUS PHYSICAL HARM. THE CHEMICAL PROCESSES THAT PRODUCE THIS DRUG ARE JUST AS OR MORE DANGEROUS AS THE USAGE OF THIS DRUG. IT IS FOR SURE MORE ILLEGAL THAN THE USAGE OF IT. LIKE, DEA BLACK-OPS UNITS WITH MACHINE GUNS KICKING DOWN YOUR DOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ILLEGAL. Simply put, don't use or produce any illegal drugs, and I KNOW you know not to, but just DON'T, okay? Ok, I'll step off my soapbox now. That was mainly for legal reasons. I DO NOT ASSUME ANY LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY CONSEQUENCES ARISING FROM YOUR PRODUCTION OR USE OF ANY ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES.