Chapter Thirty One

The inaugural Order Meeting was to commence in two hours.

Regulus could not be bothered going.

He would be far more satisfied if he were to simply lie here, all evening and into the night, where he was, and pretend there was no war, no Order Meeting and, certainly, no Dark Lord who was oh-so-eager to have his head.

Yep. For Regulus Black, life was simply this wonderful, hazy blur of gentle kisses and soft brown hair and quiet sighs and delightful shivers.

Fuck the world.

"You have to go, Black," Julia said, sitting up, abruptly, leaving him bereft of her warmth and weight against him.

Regulus lay back against the pillows, flinging his arm up to rest in an arc above his head, and he shot her a grin and tried his luck; "Oh, but I would far rather stay."

Julia chuckled, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. He tried to prolong it, but she placed a hand to his chest, pinning him back to the – horrible, uncomfortable, awful – mattress, and said; "I need to wash the sheets. I have someone coming tonight."

Julia flung her legs over the side of the bed and got to her feet, lifting a night robe from where it was cast over the nearby chair and shrugged into it as she moved away from him.

Regulus fought very hard not to frown.

"Oh."

He pushed himself up, slowly, getting to his feet and lifting his trousers. He cleared his throat, trying to sound both as teasing and nonchalant as possible, making a joke about it though he was a little stung – which was ridiculous; "And here was I thinking I was the only one."

Julia hesitated in her movements, glancing at him with a curious look. Her lips twitched, eyes dancing with obvious amusement, and Regulus realised his jealousy was absolutely blatant despite his attempts to make light of the situation. That he was being cast out of her bed to make way for another.

Julia smiled and then she laughed, outright, and shook her head, reaching beneath the collar of her robe, lifting her hair out from where it was tucked and letting it fall down her back, as she said; "Babysitting. Lily has a thing."

Of course. Obviously, Lily would be at the meeting.

"Ah," Regulus grinned, his smile returning easily now as he finished up tying his trousers. He lifted his shirt and approached; "Little Miss Grace Potter. Quite the character, that one."

"You seemed rather wounded that it would be anyone else," Julia pointed out, with a continuing smile, not letting his obvious jealousy slide.

Regulus shrugged, leaning in and capturing her lips; "Who wouldn't be, Miss Bradbury."

Her hands came up, fingertips caressing the sides of his neck, and she kissed him deeply – teasingly, torturously so, considering that she was kicking him out just as she was winding him up – and then she drew back, pressing her hand to his chest and pushing him away, gently; "Off you go, then."

Regulus chuckled; "Have fun."

"You, too."

She was obviously referring to the meeting. She knew what he was.

Regulus' smile was a little tighter upon the realisation. But hers remained warm, and it warmed him, his very being, when she turned it upon him.

Regulus had begun to head home before realising that – oops – he still had to pop into the Ministry and try to find out something useful about these disappearances that were going on before the meeting, so he made quick change of plan and headed on down to London, instead.

Practically walking on air as he made his way first to the Ministry, and then onwards to Headquarters.

The minute Lily walked into the Order meeting, her eyes sought him out, and Remus wasn't surprised.

He'd been enduring Severus' withering glowers for weeks, now, and, obviously, Lily would eventually hear about it, the little spat between the two of them. If Snape was offended by that conversation, heaven help him if he ever heard the true extent of what Remus actually thought about him and the way he'd devastated the lives of two – three – of the people Remus loved most in the world.

Lily gave him a smile when their eyes met, though it didn't quite meet her eyes – a red flag to him, of the delightful conversation ahead – and approached him where he stood; "Remus."

"Hey."

His own smile came easily.

"Can I talk to you?" she said, not wasting a moment, her eyes glancing uneasily around the room, as people filtered in through the door. Severus, of course, was there and Remus caught him eyeing them from the corner of the room, where he stood with Regulus Black.

"Mhm." Remus shrugged, and the two of them headed back out into the hallway and down the corridor to the smaller room at the back. It was empty, luckily enough – well, maybe not so, depending on how this was about to go – and Lily uttered a 'muffilato' while Remus shut the door.

He turned to face her, finding her standing arms crossed in the middle of the room and regarding him with a very familiar expression – exasperation – and he knew that the conversation was about to get unpleasant rather quickly.

Still, it always started amicably enough.

Remus gave her a grin; "I know that look."

Lily released a puff of air, her lips twitching; "Yes, you do."

"I suppose I hurt his feelings a bit, then?"

"Both of you need to stop this."

"I'm not going to mince my words for him," Remus said, unapologetically, crossing his arms; "As if I don't have to watch my mouth enough on Severus Snape's behalf."

"Severus doesn't want you coming to the house anymore."

It stung, Remus had to admit. That it had finally come to this.

He swallowed, keeping his eyes on hers; "I suppose you've summoned me here to issue my banishment notice, then?"

"No. Of course not," Lily sounded annoyed, as if that were something obvious.

It wasn't obvious. There was no 'of course' about it; she had kicked Sirius to the curb for Snape, after all. Still, Remus was relieved.

Lily's voice was soft rather than accusing when she asked; "What did you say to him?"

"Nothing I wouldn't say again."

"Remus."

Remus shrugged; "Only that he ought to be there for you. For the kids. If hurts to hear that, that's his problem."

Lily shook her head, her eyes closing, as if the words themselves brought the weight of the world upon her shoulders; "You know he can't do that, Remus."

"No," Remus wouldn't stand for it, the excuses; "I know he's chosen not to, the both of you. There's a difference," he shook his head, before asserting what Lily had to realise, before this whole thing either came crumbling down or blew up completely; "This isn't as out of your hands as you would have yourself believe it is."

"You don't seriously think Severus could just walk away from him, Remus?" Lily said, eyes flashing with a familiar fire that told Remus he wasn't going to get anywhere with her, before the argument had even really begun; "Now, when he's finally resurfaced."

"Oh, that's a new one," Remus could barely keep from scoffing; "A few months ago, you said the reason you couldn't tell Harry was because you couldn't tell him Voldemort was coming back and coming for him. Well, he's back and he's been for him and Harry knows it all. Now, all of a sudden, it's about Severus' safety?"

"It's about everyone's safety. Harry's, Grace's, Severus'; nothing good could ever come of it."

"I couldn't agree more, Lily. I said as much, years ago. And yet here we are; surface zero, or it very soon will be."

Lily shot him a look; "You're being a little overdramatic."

"I'm being overdramatic?" Remus was incredulous, considering the absolute circus she had them all jumping through hoops in for her; "This coming from the one who's put her whole life on hold for a fantasy."

"A fantasy?" Lily snapped; "You think this is a fantasy?"

She was offended and Remus knew why; it was an accusation made in her direction more than once before, and not just about Snape, either, but James as well. But, then, it had taken almost losing Harry back then to finally snap her out of that delusional mindset and this one was far, far worse.

"It doesn't matter what I think about it," Remus said, trying to push her a little and make her see sense; "What matters is what you think. What you feel. You can't seriously be happy, Lily. Seven years of secrets and lies, with no end in sight! Next thing you know, it won't be Harry we're talking about telling, it'll be Grace!"

Lily shook her head, her infuriating stubbornness unyielding under his pleas; "We can't tell him. Not now."

"Not now?" Remus repeated; "It's been seven years. If you and Severus couldn't do this, if you couldn't be together, then you should never have done all of this in the first place. You should have walked away." Oh, how Remus regretted not standing with Sirius back then and making her see what it was she was getting herself into; "But no, instead, you do all of this, you bring Grace into the world. He fathered your child and now he just walks out on her? I know he's left her, Lily, she told me."

"So, what should we do, then, Remus?" Lily lifted her hands at her sides, in a helpless gesture; "What do you say we should do, since you seem to think it's all so easy?"

"I think you need to make a choice and stick with it. I think the two of you can't keep doing this half way. Either you're in or you're out. Stop dancing around it, for Merlin's sake, and put your money where your mouth is."

"It's not that simple."

"It is that simple. If you want to be together, be together. If you can't, then don't. Don't flit back and forth and curse the world for all your misfortunes. You made this mess. And, what, you expect the rest of us to just go down quietly? You think Harry isn't going to go ballistic when he finds all this out?"

"We'll deal with that when it comes to it."

"Lovely," Remus clapped his hands together; "Can't wait. Alright for you, his mother, he's never going to walk away from you."

"That's…Remus."

A heavy silence fell upon them at his assertion. At the very heart of the matter. Lily was asking him to lie to Harry, for her, and he was going to lose that boy over it. The writing was on the wall, the outcome of all of this inescapable.

There was no going back.

Lily drew in a breath; "I know that it's not fair, what I'm asking you to do –"

"Oh, don't patronise me, Lily," Remus interrupted her, lifting up a hand, because he didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear any gratitude from her, over how he was unwillingly throwing his relationship with Harry under the bus, just so she and Snape could carry on with their dirty little secret.

Remus shook his head, heart pounding so hard he was sure she'd hear it; "Just make up your bloody mind. Everything, everything that Harry and I have is based on trust. It's not blood. It's not family –"

"Oh, that's not true, Remus, you can't seriously think Harry doesn't consider you his family. You practically raised him with me."

"Sirius raised him, not me."

"He loves you just as much as he did Sirius. As much as he does me. He knows there's nothing he couldn't come to you about –"

"Yes, exactly. That's exactly it, Lily. He came to me. He looks at me and I'm lying to him and for what? For this? A relationship that the two of you won't even go all in for?"

"That's not how it is, Remus. We'd be married if it weren't for Voldemort."

"If it weren't for Voldemort. If it weren't for Hopkins. If it weren't for James," Remus shook his head, as he fired them out one after the other, more excuses; "For Merlin's sake, just bloody well do it. If you mean it, marry him, for crying out loud and just put an end to this once and for all. What the hell are you waiting for?"

Lily stared back at him, pondering the words, and for a moment Remus thought that maybe she wasn't so far gone. Maybe, he could get through to her and make her see that they couldn't go on like this any longer. They couldn't keep lying and sneaking around and pretending that everything was going to be alright, that all of this was worth it, they had to make a choice. Now or never.

And if they couldn't she had to see that Snape would just have to walk. Let them go and live the life they deserved before it was too late. Not make them wait for him, not a minute longer, for this fantasy they had promised one another.

"Alright," Lily said, sounding resigned; "Alright, let's say I tell Harry. Let's say he learns the truth and Severus comes home and Voldemort sees it. What then? We know he's coming after Harry, we both know about the prophecy. So, Severus' loyalties are revealed; if we're lucky, he survives it, either way Harry's blind, we're all blind when he finally comes after him. Severus needs to be where he is. It's the best chance we've got."

"Of survival, perhaps, but of living? Is this a life? What about Grace? Snape walked out of her life this year and it's hurting her; can't you see that? She asked me for him every day this summer!"

"You're the one that said it wasn't fair for him to be at the house, for him to be with us."

"With you two, yes, but I didn't mean he should walk out on Grace! I meant tell Harry, for Merlin's sake, not make more lies!"

"He's not ready. Severus' preparing him but he's not ready yet."

"Preparing him," Remus repeated, shaking his head, the statement only reminding him of all Harry was enduring under that man's 'guidance'; "You don't see them at that school, Lily. He's his stepfather, as good as, and all he sees is a Marked Boy. Someone he has to train up; a mission. Harry, he's supposed to be his stepson. Not a soldier."

"Oh, is that how you want him to treat him now? As if you wouldn't have a problem with that?"

"You think I'd rather see him treated like crap than step aside, so he can be treated like a human being?" Remus fired back, furiously; "I'm flattered, Lily, really. Great to know you think so highly of me."

"I only meant –"

"I know what you meant," Remus bit out; "Frankly, it doesn't matter either way; whether I step aside or get thrown aside. Because that's where we're going, whatever the outcome of this, so don't think I'm making this about me," Lily was frowning and shaking her head but it was the truth, he knew it and she knew it; "I know I'm out, Lily. This is about Harry."

"You're not 'out', Remus."

"Not yet."

"Is that what this is?" Lily asked, stepping towards him; "You're angry at me because you think Harry's going to blame you for all of this?"

"He won't blame me, no. I actually think he's got brains enough to understand it," Remus said, before he shrugged, the words spoken next bringing a churn to his stomach because they were so true and inevitable that it already hurt; "But he won't trust me. Never again, not after this. And he shouldn't. It's unforgivable," he drew in a breath, shaking his head; "And yes, Lily, I'm angry. I'm so very, very angry about that. It's not just you going down in all of this, you're dragging me and Harry and Grace down with you; the only difference is you and Severus – you're going to be just fine. It's the rest of us that have to pick up the pieces."

Lily stared back at him, utterly silent and clearly hurt by the words spoken, but she needed to hear it. She needed to. Remus had held all this back too long and it wasn't to her benefit, not at all, that he had done so. He should have made her see all of this, long ago, before it got this far.

Lily averted her eyes and there was a glimmer there and Remus felt awful but at least he'd gotten through to her, a bit. At least she wasn't in that familiar fiery, stubborn rage about it all; she was hearing him. It was almost as if she was just too tired, too broken to fight anymore.

Remus drew in a breath, because it would take more than words or an argument to make her see what she was doing to herself. To those kids.

"Tell your boyfriend I'll stay away."

Lily looked at him sharply; "What?"

"You heard me. From the house. From Grace. From you. Not Harry, though. I'm there until he sends me away."

Lily shook her head, looking utterly appalled by his declaration; "No. Remus –"

Remus shook his head, lifting up a hand to silence her and letting it fall back to his thigh in a slap; "Why postpone the inevitable?"

She stared at him, as if she had a million things to say but couldn't find the words, and he knew one of them was to ask him to stay but he couldn't. He couldn't watch all of this anymore. Sirius had got it right, back then, to walk away. Remus couldn't be part of this. He wouldn't.

Remus had better leave.

If he lingered too long his resolve would waver and, honestly, he didn't think he could do it, if Lily should try to persuade him not to go. He straightened up and walked towards her, to walk on by, but her hand caught him by the wrist.

"Don't go," Lily said, firmly, eyes determined as she looked straight up at him; "I don't want you to."

Remus lowered his eyes. He drew in a breath, steadying himself, before he met hers once more; "When you figure out what you want, and do it, then you'll know where to find me."

Lily opened her mouth, as if to speak, but he shook his head and pressed the briefest of kisses to the top of her head and walked on by her.

Remus heard her say his name as he opened the door, but he didn't look back.

Even he couldn't believe that he had just walked away.

There was a yellow flower in the window.

Severus approached the house, slowly, doing the careful checks of the surrounding area as he did so, before he stepped through the door into the kitchen.

Lily was there. Waiting for him, no doubt, sitting at the table and staring at nothing. She didn't even look up when he entered the room.

Severus knew this particular pattern very well. Seven years – longer, if one counted the fiery exchanges between them in their youth – did not leave him impervious to the signs.

Lily was very angry.

Severus sat down on the chair opposite.

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Where is Grace?"

"Julia's."

Severus fought back the urge to point out that Grace should be here, always, where it is safe, under the protection of the Fidelius, but he had better pick his battles carefully that night. He knew better than to question the faith she had in another friend at that particular moment.

Lupin had returned to the Order Meeting looking upset.

Lily had not returned to the meeting at all.

Severus had a fair idea of what had happened. Whatever had gone down had led to Lupin-Unleashed, and he had been treated to undisguised glowers of loathing throughout the entirety of the meeting whenever their eyes happened to meet, which was often, considering Severus knew whatever Lupin had said to her was the reason for her absence.

"I assume you spoke with Lupin, then?"

Lily visibly tensed; "Mhm."

Severus just waited, acutely aware that if he were to say anything more, it would probably result in a very hefty explosion, judging by the way she was glowering at the unsuspecting fruit bowl in the middle of the table.

Eventually, Lily drew in a breath, her voice tight with restrained anger.

"Remus won't be coming to the house anymore."

Severus didn't say anything for a moment.

And then he did.

"Good."

Lily met his eyes, sharply, and – oh goodness – she was utterly furious.

"What the hell am I supposed to tell Grace?" she grounded out.

Severus only shrugged.

"As if she hasn't lost enough," Lily muttered, under her breath, as she averted her eyes.

The comment stung, the blatant nod in the direction of his absence; "It is hardly the same thing."

"It'll still upset her, Severus. I can't have him in Harry's life but not Grace's, that's not fair. Not on any of them."

Severus eyed her; "From what I can see it is yourself that is upset."

Lily looked at him, glowered at him; "I'm not allowed to be upset that my oldest friend just walked out on me?"

Severus pursed his lips together; "That was not my intention."

It wasn't. Not really. He had wanted Lupin to step back, to stay away from his daughter, to stop loving Lily. To shut up.

He didn't, necessarily, want them to cut ties.

He wasn't upset about it, obviously. But Lily was and Severus knew he had, he always had, asked to much of her, by agreeing to even do this whole thing in the first place.

"I did not mean for you to end the friendship," Severus said, glancing away.

"It wasn't me that ended it," Lily said, quietly, this time, but just as angry as before.

Severus looked at her closely. He didn't like to see her upset. He especially didn't like to see her upset over Remus Lupin. More than that, still, he didn't like to see her upset over something he had done.

"What did he say?" Severus finally asked.

Lily closed her eyes; "It doesn't matter."

"It does. Clearly. You are obviously affected."

Lily drew in a trembling breath, eyes still closed, and then she frowned and opened them, meeting his look. She nodded, as if he had made a suggestion, as if something was suddenly clear.

"We have to tell Harry. Tonight."

Severus frowned; "What?"

Lily got to her feet, turning away from him, picking up a pace in the middle of the floor; "We have to tell him about us. About Grace."

Severus got to his feet, crossing his arms and glancing, surreptitiously in the direction of the timepiece that told him it was well past midnight; "Lily."

"It's what I want," Lily said, turning back to face him, and her voice was firm but her movements were erratic, as if whatever Lupin had said had sent her spinning, and Severus had a fair idea of what had been exchanged between them, now, in the light of this sudden outburst.

"It's what you want too, right?" Lily pressed, looking at him, and asking him a question she already knew the answer to, as if that would make the path of action obvious; "You and me, Harry and Grace."

"Of course, that's what I want," Severus conceded, uncrossing his arms with a sigh; "That's what we're fighting all of this for."

"I don't want to fight anymore. I'm sick of fighting," Lily declared, shaking her head; "Why fight for it when we could have it right now?"

"Obviously Lupin's been filling your head with idyllic unrealities," Severus rolled her eyes, unable to help himself.

"This isn't about Remus, Severus, this is about us," Lily said, casting her worries about Lupin aside; "It has always been about us and what we're doing. And Remus is right. We can't go on like this any longer, it's gone too far."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, briefly, eyes squeezing shut, before he dropped his hand and stepped closer; "Lily, we have talked about all of this before. This, exactly this, is what has been said between us from the beginning."

"Not this, Severus, you surely couldn't have imagined this is how we would have ended up. Neither of us could have."

Severus pursed his lips together, uncertain how best to counter the argument, because, really, he couldn't. He had always been of the mind that Lily had been insane to pursue this. He had held her off for months before he had finally given in and now, now, suddenly it was he who was responsible for all of this?

Severus turned away from her, lest he voice the thought.

"We can stop it," Lily said, surely. Delusional, certainly, but with utter certainty in her voice when she went on; "If we told Harry now, we could stop it. Have what we've always said we wanted."

Severus shook his head, turning back to her, and his voice was soft, apologetic, when he spoke, because, of course, he wanted it to be true, for it to be that easy, but it wasn't, and it would never be. Severus had known that from the start. He had told her that from the start.

"Lily. He's not ready."

"When will he be ready?" Lily burst out, in her exasperation, her desperation; "When he's fifteen, sixteen, sixty?"

"It is not about his age or his maturity or his feelings on the matter, it is about his safety and his skills. You saw how easily the Death Eaters picked him up this summer. He can't keep the Dark Lord out, Lily, and until he can, sufficiently enough that he has some mental barriers, at least, he won't be able to keep this quiet."

"So, what, never then? Time just keeps ticking by, we keep lying, and the next thing you know Grace is leaving home having never seen her father for years, and Harry couldn't care less what has gone on because he's long gone with a family of his own?"

"It won't last that long."

Perish the thought.

"It's lasted this long," she said and her voice broke, the weight of it all crushing down, finally, after all of these years of bearing up under it, and she closed her eyes, turning her head to the side, as she made an attempt not to break down entirely.

Severus had expected this. She had lasted far longer than he had thought she would. But it was too much; even he struggled with it, the weight of it all. Walking out on her, walking out on Grace, brushing shoulders with those who meant to kill them if they should ever get the chance.

They would never get the chance.

The thought was sufficient enough to remind him exactly what it was he was fighting for. And even if he wasn't with them, if Lily couldn't do this anymore, there was no way he would walk away from all of this and leave them unprotected. He would fight this fight until his dying breath, if he had to, so long as he was doing everything in his power to keep his family safe.

Severus sighed, stepping towards her, and taking her hands in his. Lily drew in a breath, one that still trembled, and there was such vulnerability in her eyes as she looked up at him that he hated himself. He hated himself for doing this to her. He should have fought harder, pushed harder to keep her away, all those years ago.

"He'll never be ready," Lily said, quietly, and her eyes glimmered; "No matter when we do it, no matter how, it's going to hurt him."

Severus nodded, conceding the truth; "Yes. At this point, that is inevitable." He squeezed her hands, before he went on, not wanting to bring further realities down upon them, but Lily had to see sense; "But we can't tell him now, Lily. The Dark Lord is aware of the connection the two of them share and who knows how or when he is going to use it – though we can be certain that he will – and it may not even be necessary, in that case, for the Dark Lord to get his hands upon Harry at all to learn the truth."

"You said before that he can't tap into their connection at will."

"With an emotional jolt such as that, it would surely lead to some stirring of the mind link between them."

Lily pressed her face into his chest, seeking comfort, and he reached up, hand going to the back of her head.

"Well, when, then?" she spoke into his robes; ""When will there not be this link between them? When will Harry be ready to know all of this?"

"When it's over. When he's dead."

Lily released a breath that could have been a laugh, and she shook her head, her face still pressing into his chest as she did, before she drew back to look up at him; her cheeks were wet with tears she hadn't been able to hold back while he held her.

"And how long will that be?" she shrugged; "Another seven years? Ten? Fifteen? Before we know it, they'll be gone and we'll have lost all this time with them. You'll have lost all this time with Grace."

Severus shook his head, swallowing hard; "We've always known it had to be this way."

No family.

No children.

He could never have it.

It chilled him, how very right he had been when he had declared it, a cold November night recovering from his own near-brush with death.

The night this had all begun.

"What a mess," Lily breathed, pressing a hand to her forehead. She gave a humourless smile, shaking her head; "No wonder Remus decided to walk away."

"So can you."

Severus had to say it. He had to say it as he thought it because, hell, if he stopped to think about what it could lead to, before he said the words, he would never have the strength to do so. And he had been thinking about it, all of it, how he had stepped away to protect Grace, how he kept away to protect Harry. But the children were not the only ones who needed to be protected.

And it would be better for her, for Lily, he knew, if she would just let him go. He had always known that.

Lily looked at him, sharply, as if she couldn't believe what he had just said; "What?"

Severus only held her look, held his ground, needing her to know that, yes, that was an option. She could walk. She always could. This had to be her choice. She wasn't shackled to this life, not if she couldn't do it anymore.

Lily's expression turned from one of disbelief to one of utter betrayal in a second flat. She laughed, laughed without any humour whatsoever, and pressed her hands to her face as she shook her head.

"Oh, what a night!"

She turned from him, her words almost a snarl when she spoke, and she stepped away from him.

"Lily –"

She rounded on him, furiously; "Is that what you want? For this to be over?"

"Of course not!"

"Right. So, you just casually throw out that, 'oh, hey, Lily, let's just call it quits now, why don't we', without any damn thought or emotion about it at all?"

"There is nothing casual about it," Severus crossed his arms; "Nor is it without thought. Certainly, neither of us could have predicted exactly this, but we predicted close enough to it. Even so, we are a long way from where we started."

"Here was me thinking we were fighting for something worth having. Is this what you've always been thinking? That you'd just close the door on us when it got too difficult?"

"I don't want you feeling trapped by these circumstances over promises made between us back then," Severus attempted to explain, past her outrage; "Words, spoken in the comfort of one's chambers, are nothing in comparison to the reality of a situation and I have seen how you've struggled. How you still struggle –"

"I'm not –"

"I don't say it as condemnation of your handling of the situation, don't misunderstand me. I have struggled with it. I still struggle with it," it was difficult to say out loud, but she had to hear it, if only so she would admit to herself that that was what was happening here; "You know what I want. But I meant everything I said that night, when I told you that you deserved better than this. I still do and I assume Lupin said as much to you, as well? It is one of the few things we agree on. This is the reality of the path we have taken. It has led us here," he shook his head; "But you don't have to stay."

Lily looked straight back at him, her gaze certain, as steadfast as it was that night when she had gone toe to toe with him over this the first time; "I'm not walking away from this, Severus."

It was impossible for Severus to be either glad or saddened by the statement. By her continuing willingness to endure this. For them. For him.

Severus lowered his eyes.

Lily stepped towards him, into his arms, and he held her close.

But he knew, he knew, that this wouldn't be the end of it. They were already breaking, and the war hadn't even started yet.

It was only a matter of time.