peripheries
in search of brighter things
If Tobirama was being completely honest with himself, he was kind of waiting for it.
The last time Sakura had shown up, close to a year ago now, and had thrown herself into his arms, crying and stammering, had rattled him. It left him with the deep irrevocable impression that something was definitely wrong. Something beyond the obvious skipping through time.
"Something's bothering you. Why not tell me?"
The manner in which Hashirama eyed him across the table was uncharacteristically sharp.
Tobirama frowned and helped himself to some grilled vegetables. In the continued silence, Hashirama's face fell.
"Look, if you don't want to talk, that's fine. But I can't have you distracted. The wedding's coming up, and I'm a nervous wreck as it is. You have been more than helpful. And I know that I've been splitting my time between Mito and the clan but – we're going to be her family, right? I thought she might feel more comfortable if…" He sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose. In that moment, he looked so very much like their father. "Look, the point is. I can tell something's troubling you. And I'd like to help, whatever it is. If I can."
Tobirama slowly chewed through his bite, regarded his dinner. A few grains of rice stuck to the side of the bowl, wilfully out of place. He used his chopsticks to push them back down.
"What do you think about jutsu that bend time?"
Hashirama stared at him, then dropped his face into his hands.
"Why do you keep torturing me like that," he groaned. "Why do you have to be so goddamned smart?"
Across the table, Tobirama smiled.
"You wanted to know."
Hashirama sighed dramatically, but soon his mien turned pensive.
"Do you mean in the sense of controlling the speed at which time passes? Or jump through time?"
"The latter."
He hummed. "That sounds difficult. Really difficult."
He smiled into his dinner.
"Somehow I feel we've been here before… Did you come up with this on your own?"
Tobirama hesitated. Glanced at his brother, down at the candle flickering on the table between them, then back up.
"There's this person… A woman… I've known her for years. Ever since we were kids. And throughout the years – she never really changed."
Hashirama was quiet for a while. Then he tossed his head.
"Well, first of all, how come you have some secret lady friend I know nothing about? You've known her for years and not once have we been introduced? For shame, Tobi. I'm hurt. Well and truly hurt."
He clutched his chest but sobered quickly.
"Maybe she just doesn't age? Or at least very slowly. Mito told me that some members of her family have lived to almost two hundred years."
Tobirama hesitated.
"I never considered this…"
"You don't sound convinced."
"The thing is… She told me she was jumping through time. And she didn't seem to be lying."
"You checked for genjutsu? Maybe she's not real. Or just hiding her age."
"Of course I did," Tobirama snorted. "I'm not dumb."
Hashirama only rolled his eyes. "Just asking.
"Well?" He then prompted. "What else did she tell you?"
Tobirama hesitated. "She said… that I am always there, whenever she appears. I'm sure it can't be a coincidence."
His brother frowned. "Are you sure she's not just trying to get close to you, trying to get you to let your guard down?"
Tobirama shook his head. "She met me when I was still young. If anything, she could have tried then. But she didn't."
"Again," Hashirama reiterated. "Trying to get under your skin. What else? Where's she from? What's her name? Her family? How did she manage to traverse time?"
"She's called Sakura."
"And?"
Tobirama shrugged. Hashirama's face fell.
"…You're joking. That's all you've got? A name, which as far as you know could be made up? Tobi, I always thought you were smarter than this."
He shook his head.
"She sounds too dangerous. You'll stay away from her."
They continued their dinner in silence.
"I want to help her," Tobirama admitted after a while.
"Help her?" Hashirama gasped, almost choking on his fish. "This weird lady who could be after kami knows what? Surely not. You must be mad!"
But the thought persisted.
"No, you don't understand. She seemed really distraught last time we met. Something must be going on beside what she already told me."
"Which is basically nothing!" Hashirama insisted. "You're nineteen, you should know better than to go running after strangers! Tobi, that woman sounds like a complete nutcase!"
Tobirama set down his bowl.
"That's fine then," he replied coolly, placed his chopsticks meticulously across the dish.
"I'll finally have my own lunatic to chase after. But at least mine isn't trying to burn down everything in her path like yours seems out to do. Right?"
And then he left, without once glancing back at his brother, who was snapping his mouth open and shut like a fish out of water.
"Hashirama is being stubborn. Unreasonable, almost," he told the graves of his brothers. "Not that I am surprised. But he gets to befriend Uchiha Madara. So why shouldn't I adopt a stray? At least mine is harmless."
He touched his fingers to his lips in contemplation.
"Even if sometimes she does seem mad."
He snorted, let his gaze sweep across the lands sprawling in front of him.
"Hashirama's a good leader," he murmured, thoughtfully. "I just don't think all of his dreams can necessarily be realised."
A chakra signature registered, a faint ping just beyond the tree line, and he frowned.
"I will come back later," he said to the stones, and then flashed down the hill and into the forest.
Sakura was leaning against a fir, chest heaving, and looking around with wide eyes. She leapt into the air in fright when Tobirama dropped out of the branches and gave a startled gasp, but didn't run.
Slowly, he straightened from his crouch, hands raised, and gazed at her curiously.
Her eyes, when they met his, were round as saucers.
"Huh," she said smartly, and moved to pinch herself. "If this is a genjutsu, it is both the best and most confusing one I was ever caught in."
"It's not a genjutsu," Tobirama replied as calmly as he could. "Although it might seem like one. This is very much real."
He crossed his arms. "I've been waiting for you. There are some thing's I'd like to know.
"And after last time, you really owe me an explanation."
He took a step towards her but froze when she tensed. Everything about her looked like she might take off again at any moment.
"You don't recognise me?" he asked.
She stared at him, eyes flickering across his face. Slowly, she shook her head.
Tobirama almost sighed. In hindsight it should have been obvious. She was favouring one leg. She still had both her boots. Battered and beaten and more than rough around the edges. He tried a tired smile, considered his next words.
"We met before, in passing. I remember you." He pointed, and added, "Hair like yours is hard to forget."
Her hand shot up to fiddle with the end of her braid at this, and something of the tension seemed to ease from her posture.
"Yes," she murmured, "Can't miss it…"
"If you'll allow it I can help you," Tobirama offered when she said nothing else, and pointed to the right. "There's a river down that direction, where you can wash, and I can give you food."
Thinking back to the way she had burned through his rations all those years ago, he almost smiled.
"You must be hungry."
Sakura dithered for a moment, fidgeted, pushed back her bangs which had slipped from the frazzled braid that curled about her neck like a rope. She was still eyeing him wearily. Then, slowly, she said, "Okay."
Tobirama nodded.
With slow and deliberate motions he unclipped the little pouch at his belt, held it out towards her.
"There are some pills in here, as well as dried meat and fruit. It will keep you going for a while," he said.
Sakura hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath and slowly stepped towards him. She was limping heavily.
"Thank you," she murmured as she reached for the pouch.
He smiled.
"I've been carrying this around just in case you'd show up again."
She looked at him with wide eyes then and, just before her fingers could curl around the dangling strap, she vanished.
Tobirama thought he might scream.
He almost spit out his tea.
"A village?" He snapped. "A shinobi village? Are you quite mad?"
"Not at all," Hashirama replied, calmly sipping his tea. "I believe it is the easiest road to peace."
"Your understanding of the word easy seems to differ vastly from mine," Tobirama snapped.
Hashirama shrugged.
"I know it will be a lot of work. But all this bloodshed and violence…" He stared down into his cup. "It has to end, Tobirama, one way or the other."
"I will not share my home with an Uchiha," Tobirama bit out. "I might just as well slit my own throat."
"Brother," Hashirama said. He looked up. "Years ago, when we were young… You said you'd always stand by me. Remember?"
Tobirama crossed his arms and scowled.
"I'll not force you to go along with my idea. If you wish, you can walk away. But please… I ask you to trust me on this."
"I have not forgotten my words, and I stand by them," Tobirama growled. "… What would father say?"
"Father…" Hashirama smiled sadly. "Father was a man who was unable to see beyond his own hate and prejudice. I have spoken to Madara. We share the same pain, the same desire to protect our kin. He, too, has lost brothers."
Tobirama snarled.
"Yes. I know. I killed two of them, care to remember?"
He dragged his hands across his face.
"Hashirama… Our families have fought and killed each other for decades. How do you know they'll be willing to set aside their differences and co-exist without tearing each other to pieces?"
Hashirama took a sip of his tea.
"I don't know," he said calmly. "I simply have to trust they will be able to overcome their differences… Don't look at me like that, Tobirama. I know it won't happen overnight. But for such a long time all our people have known was only strife and dissent… They are tired. And I know they'll be able to grow together. There are good people, Tobi, on both sides of a conflict."
Tobirama stared at his brother.
"So now you want me to scout for a place to settle," he said flatly.
Hashirama nodded.
"Yes. It needs to be well protected, with enough resources to sustain a growing settlement. You've been roaming these lands since we were kids… If anyone can find something, it's you."
He smiled now.
"Once again, I would never force you to stay, Tobi… But I want you to know how much I rely on you. Always have."
Tobirama grumbled and crossed his arms. Sighed.
"I'll set out the day after tomorrow," he huffed. "I only have one question…"
He considered his brother across the table.
"Why the Uchiha? There are no other clans with so much bad blood between them as them and us."
"Exactly," Hashirama said slowly, glancing down into his cup. "Senju and Uchiha are all but sworn enemies. But if the village can work, if we can make it work, together… Others will follow suit."
Tobirama stared at his brother for the longest time, mulling over his words. Then he sighed, tipped back his tea, wiped his mouth and got up.
"Don't come looking for me. I'll be collecting my supplies, straighten some things out before I go."
He shot his brother a glance.
"Also, I'll need time to think this over. I will see you once I am back."
Hashirama only nodded, and even though he didn't say anything he was visibly relieved. His shoulders curled at a more relaxed slope, and some of the lines around his eyes had vanished.
Mind reeling, Tobirama went through the preparations for the trip he was about to take. He donned his armour, fastened his sandals, strapped on his sword. His happuri fit snugly over his face, and somehow, the world seemed more clear-cut than before. He hesitated, dithered for a moment, but then clipped the little pouch full of rations and bandages to his belt. Then he set out, way before the sun had even begun to rise, without a word. His steps grew more even, his head clearer the further he walked.
By the time he stopped at his brothers' graves, he was serene. He placed some pebbles on the mounds, lit two sticks of incense. Let his gaze sweep across the lands stretching below, still dipped in dusk.
Truth be told, Tobirama already knew a spot that would be perfect. The Peak would be more than equipped to handle the strain of a settlement but he wasn't quite sure he wanted to give it up for an endeavour that was doomed to fail in the first place. So he trudged west instead of south, travelled for days, at a much slower pace than he would usually go.
He was skulking up a forest path and when he looked up, there she was, swaying gently on her feet, her bare torso swathed in murky-green light, a splash of black stretched across her stomach.
Tobirama felt like he'd been punched him in the gut.
For a moment, all they did was stare at each other, and the way she looked at him, eyes hazy and with her hair all mussed up, lips swollen and hands half-reaching for him, caused a sharp tingle to run down his spine. The kiss, which had been lurking around the back of his memories, rushed to the front of his mind.
Then Sakura blinked. Her face fell. Slowly, she sank to her knees, curled her arms about her.
The first sob shocked Tobirama out of his haze.
She was weeping now and he, with increasing panic, dug through his pack for something to cover her with. All he came up with that wasn't completely filthy was a blue haori, and he dropped it over her half-naked form.
"Get dressed," he snapped, immediately felt sorry for his harsh tone, and watched with wide eyes as she tried to comply, struggled to push her arms into the sleeves. He handed her a sash.
The tunic was way too big on her and kept slipping off her shoulders. Tobirama pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Can you tell me just what you were thinking, prancing around like that?" he growled.
It was as if the sight had been burned into his brain. He rubbed at his face.
"Thinking?" Sakura hiccuped, and when he looked at her she seemed just as lost as him. Her eyes were wide and round in her tear-stained face, brows scrunched up, lips puckered as if she might cry again at any moment.
"I wasn't thinking. I – "
She hesitated, clutched the front of the haori tighter, swallowed harshly.
"I just –"
And then she was gone.
She was looking up at him, green eyes hazy, lips stretched into a lazy smile. Her skin seemed to glow even in the dim light of the forest, and when she reached for him, Tobirama couldn't help but meet her halfway. He could feel her whisper something against his lips, into the kiss, but the blood in his ears was singing too loudly for him to hear. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, pulled her closer, and let her run her fingers through his hair.
Heart hammering away inside his chest was what caused him to start up from sleep. Chest heaving, he ran his hands down his face, grimaced when he noted the way the covers stuck to his sweaty skin.
A quick glance at the screen door, cracked open to let in the cooler night air, told him that it was still dark outside, but the birds were already chirping and so Tobirama decided to just get up.
Dodging his brother's retainer he slipped out the back, through the compound and out the gate, and then he just ran. Relishing in the feeling of the cool air whipping across his face, he kept going, laving behind every thought, every troubling dream.
And then there was a sudden flare of chakra up ahead to his right and he could see a blur of black hurtling through the trees away from him, pink braid flying after her like pale banner.
Never breaking stride, Tobirama flared his chakra for a burst of speed, and then he was in front of her.
Her face, already white as a sheet, paled even more. At the rate she was going they were going to collide, she was already so close he could touch her – Sakura dove under his outstretched arm, and he was only just quick enough to catch her around the waist.
She screamed.
Before he could say a word – before he could even find any words to say, try to calm her down – the back of her head collided with his nose and he saw stars, and then her bony elbow was in his stomach, digging, and she slipped out of his grasp like water.
"Wait!" he called and dove after her. His long strides ate up the distance between them quickly, and already she was close enough his outstretched fingers ghosted across her arm.
She winked out of existence as suddenly as she had appeared, and Tobirama only just barely sidestepped a tree. Heart thundering within his chest, he pressed his palm against the ground, cast out his senses.
He wasn't surprised when his search turned up nothing.
Still. The disappointment weighed heavily.
They really needed to hash some things out.
"Who's on patrol tonight?" Arata asked, brush in hand and bent over a scroll of parchment.
Tobirama glanced up from the sheaf of notes he'd been studying.
"Uchiha Mina and Ichigo will take the southern section. I'll do the north. Ko and Inora will be patrolling the inner area."
Nodding, Arata jotted down a few notes.
"It's good of you to keep an eye on them, Senju-sama," he said quietly without looking up. "I wouldn't trust those Uchiha as far as I could throw them."
Stretching, Tobirama rose from his seat and pocketed his notes.
"Don't let my brother hear you say that. But I agree, to some extent…" He shrugged. "Still. If anything, they make good guard dogs."
She flickered into existence just as Tobirama was about to finish his round. From his position north of Konoha, he could feel her, high up on the cliffs. The other guards must have noticed her, as well, because he felt them change course. It took some effort to intercept the Uchiha, assure them he was equipped to deal with this sudden presence, insist they not raise the alarm.
They looked at him suspiciously, but agreed to his assurances eventually. They kept glancing back at him as they melted back into the shadows, and he stood and stared stubbornly, senses alert, until he was sure they'd gone back to their assigned positions.
Ko and Inora were easier to deal with. As soon as he told them to return to their routes they gave a quick bow and left.
Some minutes later than he would have liked Tobirama made his way up the slope of the cliffs, mulling over what he'd say to Sakura. They really needed to talk. He picked up his pace when he heard stifled sobs.
Slowly, her figure, hunched over and shaking, emerged out of the dark.
She never moved until he was right next to her, and for a moment he hesitated, not quite sure what to do.
Sakura jumped when he laid his hand on her shoulder, and through the dark she stared at him. She rubbed at her eyes, sniffled, shook her head in a poor imitation of that wilful toss she sometimes displayed. Her ponytail curled against the side of her face listlessly.
"Hey," she rasped and Tobirama, with a quiet sigh, knelt down on the ground.
"Hey," he replied quietly.
She dragged an arm across her face, released a shivering breath.
"You look a mess."
Sakura flinched, turned her face to the side, mumbled, "It's nothing. Not in comparison. I can take care of it."
She shuffled around, drew one foot into her lap. The flickering green glow of her palms lit up the night and threw its light on her bloodied legs.
Tobirama frowned.
"Shouldn't you clean the wound first?"
Sakura only shrugged.
He sighed. "Come on. There's a stream close by," he said, then stood and gathered her up into his arms, careful not to jostle her. "I'll take you there. And then maybe we can talk."
Sakura gasped in surprise when she was lifted up, but before he could turn and descend the western slope, she called, "Wait!"
Eager hands fisted into his collar as she peered intently over the cliff. The smell of sweat and blood clung to her, and Tobirama wrinkled his nose.
"But your injuries –"
"They can wait!" she breathed, leaned forward into his arms to the point where she almost tipped over. He held her tighter.
"Please. Just – just a moment."
Tobirama rolled his eyes and readjusted his grip with a sigh. After a while, when she had yet to turn away, he lowered her back down and knelt next to her.
She never said anything, and so he too let his gaze sweep across the land in front of them. The breeze was strong enough to stir the trees, and if he looked hard he could make out their swaying tops. Their quiet rustle was calm and steady.
Eventually, Sakura's whisper broke the silence.
"It's beautiful."
He tried to follow her gaze, but all he could see was the dark that opened beneath them like a chasm, at the bottom of which he knew there lay the hamlet his brother lived and breathed for. He could make out the main footpath because Ko was passing up and down with his lantern. Two more pinpricks of light were winking along the outer perimeter in regular intervals. There were a few flickering dots strewn across the ground where lanterns were affixed to the gables of hovels and poles of tents, but other than that, he saw nothing.
She shifted, then her head came to rest heavily on his shoulder. He tensed.
"Is this home?" she murmured, halting his covert attempt to move away from her.
Tobirama frowned, wrinkled his nose.
"Home?" he asked, glancing first at her, then back to the conglomeration of lights she was staring at. "This sad heap of muck?" He thought for a moment.
"…I guess," he replied at length. "For the moment."
Sakura pulled her knees against her chest and yawned, and they stayed like this until her breath evened out and the warmth of her body had seeped all the way through his armour. Then Tobirama picked her up again and carried her down the back-slope of the cliff, ignoring the way she kept craning her neck to look at the village behind them.
"Don't you have a bathhouse?" she asked sleepily when the lights had long since slid out of view and they were nearing the murmuring river. Tobirama rolled his eyes.
"In that petty excuse of a hamlet? Hardly."
"It doesn't look like a whole lot," she said, and even in the dark it felt as if she was searching his face. For what he had no idea.
"No," he agreed. "It's not."
He looked back down at her, tried to determine what she was fishing for. The moon appeared from behind a cloud, and her face turned a pale blur in the dark.
"But it could be," he said, testing the waters, tried to ascertain if this was what she had asked.
Sakura remained silent.
He huffed and covered the remaining distance with long strides.
"We're here," he informed her, and bent over to carefully place her down on the gravel lining the bank.
"Thanks," Sakura said quietly.
Then she sighed, and set about washing her feet. The breeze kept knocking loose strands of hair that had slipped out of her ponytail, and Sakura kept pushing them back with impatient flicks of her fingers.
"Where are your boots?" he asked.
"Don't know," she shrugged, never looking up at him. "I lost them a while ago."
A cloud pushed itself in front of the moon, and for a moment, the world was void of light.
Sakura winked out of existence and Tobirama was left alone, with only the gentle murmuring of the river to keep him company.
Remembering the near empty estate, stripped of its former purpose, Tobirama slowed down his gait as he headed down the North Road. Just around the next bend – already he could see it coming up – lay Konoha. He frowned, but whatever thought had caused the expression was wiped away when, out of nowhere, a chakra signature flared up behind him.
She never moved for the longest time, and so eventually he glanced back at her and called, "Are you coming?"
When their eyes met, Sakura jumped, but then hurried to catch up to him. She stopped an arm's length away, gazed at him with wide eyes.
"Um…," she breathed after a moment. "Hi."
He couldn't help but smile.
She returned it with a sheepish grin of her own, then gestured at their surroundings.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to – this… But… You look good like this…" He raised an eyebrow. "Not that you didn't look good… then…," she added quickly, "But still."
She looked thoroughly flustered.
Deciding to take pity on her bumbling attempts at an explanation, Tobirama took her arm and pulled her into a fleeting hug.
"It's been a while," he said when he drew back quickly and she was staring at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open. "Good to see you whole. How are your feet?"
"Uh," Sakura replied, blinked and glanced down at her bare toes. "Still a bit cold. But fine, I think…
"Where did you go?" she asked, gestured at his travel gear.
"The compound up north," he answered easily. "We have removed almost in the clan's entirety, and with my brother busy it has fallen to me to settle the remaining affairs. I'll be taking another trip in a few weeks time."
Sakura fidgeted, wrung her hands. "I see." Hesitated.
When nothing else came forth, Tobirama jerked his head, indicating the direction of the village just around the bend. She didn't move. So, with a quiet huff, he placed his hand on her back and ushered her along.
"Where are we going?" Sakura breathed, hurrying to find her footing. He didn't look at her when he answered.
"Home."
She fell quiet after that, and her steps slowed, but still she followed.
Tobirama could tell the exact moment she caught sight of the village, because she gasped and froze. When he glanced down, she was staring wide-eyed at the neat little houses scattered along the base of the cliff.
Then she swayed, leaned into his side, grasped at the edge of his sleeve when he laid an arm around her shoulders.
"This is home?" she breathed, curled against him.
"Yes," he simply said. Dipping his head to take a playful sniff of her hair, he couldn't help but tease, "We even have a bathhouse."
Her only reaction were her fingers curling around his wrist.
"Can we go see it?" she asked, bounced on the balls of her feet. Against his side, she was almost vibrating with eagerness.
Tobirama couldn't help but smile at her sudden enthusiasm.
"Sure," he agreed easily. "If you want to."
"Very much," she breathed, and slipped her hand in his and squeezed.
He hugged her closer.
His arm snapped against his side as all resistance vanished, as Sakura vanished, and all that was left was the lingering warmth of her fingers in his.
The graves of his brothers lay, desolate, on top of a solitary mound. Tobirama frowned as he ran his hands over the topmost stone that marked Itama's place of rest. The granite was coarse against his skin, and rough; cold to the touch. Lichens had begun to creep across the rock, pale as bone.
"I'll be coming here even less often from now on," he murmured, reached into his pouch to draw out two pebbles, round and smooth and almost entirely black. He placed one on each mound.
"You will never be forgotten."
He pulled two sticks of incense from the pack he'd brought, lit them between the tips of his fingers. Stuck them into the black earth.
"But time is a commodity. And it should belong to the living."
He patted each of the stones one last time, then rose to his feet and turned south. Down the slope he headed, towards the road that would lead him past the compound, back towards Konoha.
As he struck out, he let his mind wander, let his feet lead him where they may. He passed the northern curve of the river where it curled around a broad, squat boulder before passing leisurely into the flat-lands that had housed his childhood.
He took in the stream's smooth banks for a moment where they used to practice their water-techniques, and catch fish, and then angled his steps slightly towards the right, followed a footpath nobody but him knew was there anymore. It had long since overgrown, covered by leaves and ferns and broken branches.
Some paces to his right, Tobirama could make out the trunk of a particularly sturdy oak. The ancient tree stood tall and proud, rising high above the rest of the woodlands, and as he stopped and looked at it, he could not help but wonder at the strange feeling the sight called forth in him.
A familiar signature winked into existence to his left, a presence like the flickering light of a candle, and he turned, a greeting already on his lips.
She looked like a ghost as she dashed past him, translucent, a washed-out image of the woman he knew. The blue colour of her tunic, the pink of her hair, her wide green eyes, they all seemed flat, faded.
"Sakura," he called, in startled surprise. She half-twisted at his voice, staggered mid-step, was thrown forward violently. Then she was gone.
Tobirama blinked, cast out his senses, but found nothing. He frowned as he considered the spot where she had disappeared, then turned south with a shake of his head, huffed as a whiff of something metallic hit his nose, and looked up at the high pitched chirping of a flock of birds. They were hidden from view in the canopy, and never stirred when he passed underneath the branches.
The trek through the forest took longer than he remembered. Maybe because he was dragging his feet a bit. He felt as if he'd swallowed a boulder. He hit the path that led down to the estate. Grass and moss had sprung up on the once well-trodden trail, and the closer the drew to the compound, the more ominous it seemed to loom, its once welcoming air of familiarity turned desolate, and lonely.
The streets were empty as he passed through the northern gate and past the first houses, boarded up with diligence. Some of the planks had fallen, or broken, and tracks of various animals led into the yawning interiors.
He frowned. He should convince Hashirama to tear it down. As it was, the compound held nothing but bitter memories.
The sound of feet hitting the ground caught his attention, and he quickly rounded the corner ahead. He almost wasn't surprised when Sakura barrelled straight into his chest in a blur of blue and pink.
"Please let me stay," she cried before Tobirama could utter a sound.
"I want to stay! Let me stay with you!"
He caught her up on instinct, arms curling around her, but flinched back when his hands met wet fabric. They came away bright red.
"What happened?" he barked, but she had already gone, stumbled out of existence, taking with her her sobs and her blue haori and her geta with the bright red straps, and leaving behind nothing but a metallic stench and the blood on his palms.
An uneasy knot curling in his stomach, Tobirama flashed back home.
"You took a while," Hashirama greeted him jovially upon his return. "What took you so long? Tobirama? H-hey! Tobirama!"
He ignored his brother's protests as he stepped right past him, slipped down the corridors and into his study.
With a single swipe of one arm he cleared his desk, sent scrolls and sheaves of paper tumbling to the ground in a flurry. From a nearby shelf, he drew a crisp-looking scroll, unrolled it on the table with a snap of his wrist.
Before his eyes stretched the desolate sealing-array of a fifteen-year-old.
The clean, clear lines stood out sharply in contrast to the otherwise blank surface.
He picked up a brush and started writing.
"I will figure this out," he announced to the room at large. Slowly, the spaces around the seal began to fill with notes, ideas, warnings.
"I have to."
"You look awfully busy… What is with you all of a sudden?" Hashirama asked when, hours later, he poked his head through the doorway.
Tobirama hummed. His brother watched him for a minute.
"You seem very focused."
"More so if you didn't insist on interrupting," Tobirama quipped, considered a certain rune, then crossed it out. Hashirama drew closer and glanced over his shoulder.
After a moment, he sighed. "Is this about your mysterious lady friend? I thought you'd given up on her."
Tobirama never answered, instead he scribbled away furiously, trying to keep up with his ideas and thoughts and theories as they flashed through his mind one after the other.
"Is this woman so important to you?"
Tongue between his teeth, "No… not at all…"
"And yet you are determined to help her. Why?"
Tobirama looked up from his scroll, brows furrowed.
"I – I don't know…"
Hashirama tilted his head, regarded him for a minute.
"I think you care for her," he then said.
Tobirama blinked.
With a sigh that turned into a lopsided smile, Hashirama sat down next to his brother.
"Someone should," Tobirama said slowly.
Hashirama propped his chin into his hands.
"What's she like?"
Tapping the handle of his brush against his cheek, Tobirama considered for a moment.
"Sad," he said after a while. "She cries a lot. And she's often injured. I think she leads a dangerous life. And she runs away. Often."
Hashirama hummed.
"When did you say did you first meet?"
"Oh. Years ago. It must have been around the time – around the time Kawarama died."
His brother's face fell for a second.
"I see… You know what I think?"
Tobirama crossed his arms, rolled his eyes.
"Go on then. Tell me."
"I think you wanted a puzzle."
Tobirama squinted at his brother, who was eyeing the diagram and scribbles on the scroll.
"And?" he prompted.
"You were looking for a puzzle," Hashirama smiled, "and found a friend instead."
Tobirama huffed.
"She's not a friend. She's …"
"Someone to care for," Hashirama interrupted gently. "That is what friendships are, Tobi. And they can spring up in the unlikeliest of places. Trust me."
He winked.
"I would know."
Led more by memory than anything else, Tobirama trudged along the path that was barely there anymore. Once it had been well-worn, curling through the forest like a never-ending snake. Now it had mostly overgrown, left behind like a set of shed skin. The North Road which led down into Konoha was greater, smoother, better travelled. But it was not the same.
I should come here more often, he mused as he stepped through ferns and over brambles which had grown wild ever since the clan moved.
Then there was a spark, like a match struck, and the sound of a second footfall joined his own, louder, dragging. He stopped, already drawing breath to call out to her, but Sakura pressed on and not once faltered in her trot. He blinked. Watched. Stopped and thought.
He considered for the longest time, waited while her back grew smaller and smaller, until he could not see her any longer through the trees. He looked back over his shoulder, back to where he knew Konoha lay in the distance. Hesitated, then shook his head and followed after Sakura.
"Sakura," he called quietly, and again when she didn't react. He frowned, tried again, but she continued on her path, steadily, traipsing along in her black uniform and geta with the red straps which matched the swirl stitched on her back so well.
He scowled, closed the distance, stepped into her path.
She stopped, watched him with a tired expression, opened her mouth only to snap it shut again.
Tobirama sighed.
"Sakura," he murmured, and grasped her shoulders.
He met her gaze.
"Come home."
She all but slumped forward with a sigh, pressed her forehead against his collarbone, took a deep breath.
"I can't," she replied quietly. "I'm not – I can't have a home."
"Please," Tobirama said, and drew her closer.
"… You were happy to stay last time."
A breathy sigh was her reply, and she turned her head to the side. Ran the tips of her fingers up his arms.
"That must have been a while ago."
"A couple months," he replied, truthfully, and rested his cheek against the crown of her head.
Her ponytail drooped messily down her back, dangerously close to coming undone. Thinking back to the last time she had been this close, Tobirama asked, "What changed?"
Her hands came up to link behind his back, and she sighed.
"Nothing."
"Then why –"
"Nothing changed, Tobirama," she interrupted, curled her fingers into the back of his tunic.
"It's the same it's always been. I just – I can never seem to stay in one place long enough to… It doesn't work."
"But I'm working on it," he protested, mind flooded with theories and sealing arrays and chakra conduits.
"I have a theory. The seal –"
"I already have a seal, Tobirama," Sakura interrupted and pulled away from him. He held onto her, ignored the way she scowled at him.
"You placed it," she continued. "Will place it. I don't know anymore. And it doesn't do shit. I'm always jumping between my time and – and you."
She whispered the last word, and her scowl turned forlorn.
He held her gaze.
"Then I will fix it. I'll figure it out."
The scowl returned with a vengeance.
"How? What do you care?" Sakura bit out. "Just – just remove the seal and be done with it."
"What will it mean if I do?"
"I –"
She hesitated, and for a moment the hands pushing against his chest faltered.
"I don't know."
"Then I won't. I shouldn't," he added when she opened her mouth to protest.
"What you shouldn't do is care," she snapped. "You shouldn't get involved in this. You don't know me."
"I know you enough," he replied, watching the way her eyes darkened.
"I remember when me met, years ago when I was still a boy, you offered to help me. And you would have, had I let you. Just like I helped you. I know that you'll be there, in the future."
As he spoke, he kept watching her face, the way the scowl receded and instead she now looked forlorn.
"There's something between us, isn't there?" he pressed. "You've seen it."
Avoiding his eyes, Sakura shook her head, fiddled with his collar.
"It's not – it's not real," she said quietly.
Tobirama tilted his head, ran his hand up her back. His palm spanned her shoulder blades easily, bony and sharp through the frayed fabric of her shirt.
"It feels real," he replied.
Against his chest, Sakura's hands curled into fists and she leaned back.
"It's not enough."
"It's enough for now," he answered, tracing the ridges of her spine.
When he leant closer she didn't turn away. Instead, after a moment, she threaded her fingers through his hair and returned the kiss.
"I've been thinking about this," he murmured against her lips, mind hazy but coherent enough for this.
"And I want you to stay."
He hooked his thumbs beneath her shirt, gently feathered his fingers across her skin, searching for the barely-there thrum of energy he could feel emanating from her midsection. He brushed over the bones of her hips, lightly pressed his palm against her stomach. Her skin felt hot, and little tingles shot up his arm.
Sakura sighed when he dipped lower to nip at her fluttering pulse.
"I'd like to," she breathed.
"Will you let me see the seal?" he hummed. "I didn't exactly get a chance to look at it last time."
"Last time?" she echoed, then sighed when he gently scraped his teeth against her throat.
"The seal?" he pressed.
"Okay… Yes, okay."
Already she was tugging at her shirt, and Tobirama couldn't help but steal one more kiss before she drew the it over her head and then held the fabric loosely at her side, chest bare. In the murky green light filtering through the canopy, her skin looked the colour of bone. Against its pale background, the inky black lines of the seal curving around her navel were a crass contrast.
Tobirama blinked.
"You're not exactly…" He hesitated, settled for the most obvious word. "Shy."
"I don't have time to be," Sakura shrugged, causing him to sigh.
"True."
Then he bent down to inspect the seal.
It was complicated, much different from what he had imagined when he was younger. Closer to his more recent theories, but way more refined.
"You said I placed this on you?" he asked as he squinted at the overlapping circles, lines and squiggles.
"When?"
"I don't know," came the quiet answer. "I never saw your face. A couple years from now, maybe."
He hummed thoughtfully.
Running one fingertip across the kanji for anchor, Tobirama frowned. He hadn't thought of that. Of course she'd need a fixpoint in his timeline, something that could serve as a tether. But what…
He closed his eyes for a moment as Sakura gently threaded her fingers into his hair and began carding it slowly.
"What do you think?" she asked, so low he almost didn't catch it.
"I'm thinking," Tobirama murmured, straightened back up, carefully curved his hands up her sides, thumbs brushing the outer lines of the seal. "That you're making thinking harder than it needs to be."
Sakura smiled serenely, rose on her tiptoes to kiss him.
"It looks complicated," Tobirama murmured in between two kisses.
He ran his palm against the seal again, focusing on the way it tingled against his skin.
"But I'll figure it out." Another kiss. "I'll have another look –"
"Later," Sakura interrupted, pulled his hand away from her stomach. "Right now I –"
She hesitated, then kissed him, in a different manner than before. She pressed closer and Tobirama couldn't help the little groan that slipped out.
He ran his fingers up and down her sides, her back, lost in the feeling of her warm skin beneath his hands. He tugged at her hair, pulled free the precariously loose hair-tie. Her hair pink mane tumbled over his hands and he buried his fingers in it.
"I want you to make me forget everything. Please," Sakura murmured, sighed against his lips. "Just – just for now."
"Sakura," he murmured, made to draw away, but she shook her head and begged, "Please. I can't deal with this right now. All this time I've been thinking, running, trying to stay alive… Please. I need something …"
She looked at him, and up this close her eyes seemed all the colours of the forest.
"Please," she breathed against his lips.
He surrendered.
Sakura pressed close, ran her fingers down his sides, laced them behind his back. He cupped her face and, for the longest moment, pressed his forehead against hers.
He almost wasn't surprised when she disappeared, leaving behind nothing but her frayed black shirt.
word count: 7,608
A/N: Thanks to everybody who took time to review the last chapter, and who has been willing to give this story another go!
There will be one more chapter, which will clear even more things but; but I do hope the picture is becoming clearer by now. After the next update, there will be another, ginormous oneshot related to this one, so stick around if you're interested.
Happy reading,
planless