CH. 25

Mike bars the door of simps, and El gets angry

While Mike was walking El out of the house, feeling like things were normal again, he paused at the front door, kissed her, and said, "I love you, El, see you tomorrow." She replied, "I love me too." Mike then asked, "You do love me, right?"

El responded, "I care about you, and I think you're cute, but it's a little soon for me to say if 'love' is the word to describe it. I'm sorry, I just don't want to lie. I'm not trying to be mean." El finished and noticed Mike was clenching his fists. "Mike? Are you okay?" She asked, concerned.

"No!" He shouted, "No, I am NOT okay! We have been dating on and off for a total of almost 2 and a half YEARS, and you still won't admit that you love me. Why? Why the hell is it so hard to admit that I make you feel happy in my presence like no one else? Why are you so damn scared?" He finished, breathing hard.

El responded that if love was real, she had yet to be on either side of it. Mike immediately shot back that the idea that Hopper didn't love her was moronic.

She responded to that with, "Oh, really? Why did I hear him arguing on the phone with my supposedly brain-dead mother about me going to live with her again, then? Why did he lie about the brain damage supposedly caused by me then?" El continued, saying, "Why didn't he want me?"

Her voice cracked, and she started tearing up. "Does nobody want me? Nobody except you, of course. You. You're pathetic," she spat.

"No other girls want you, so you go to the damaged goods for some self-esteem boosting! And I'm even worse because I let you get away with it! You DISGUST me, Mike Wheeler! You are a disgusting, pathetic, stupid, lying pervert! All anybody wants from me is to make themselves feel better."

El then started to sob. Mike approached her and put his arms around her. "No. What I want is to make you feel better," he said, causing her to smile.

"You're sweet, Mike, but nobody can fix me. Go find yourself somebody who actually can believe that you care about them. Just let me be." El stopped, and her bittersweet smile disappeared as she started to yell. "We are better as friends, Mike. Why do you have to mess it up and convince me otherwise? Why can't you just leave it at that?"

Mike responded sadly, "I ask myself those questions on days like this. Days where you're being a total bitch to me. On the really bad days, I wonder why the hell I had to be so damn nosy as a kindergartener. Why I couldn't have just walked on by. And most of all, if I had done that, wouldn't I be happier?" Mike continued, saying, "What's happened has happened, though, for better or worse. I love you, but I want you to not run off at the first chance."

"Maybe I should just leave then," El shouted, causing Mike to respond.

"Fine, but don't come knocking again," Mike said, "because we both know that I'll let you in again."

"The next time this happens, I don't think I will be able to pull myself together. I don't think I'll want to anymore." Mike stopped, then continued, "It's so tiring. I just want the pain to be over, however it happens. I try to heal you, but you pull away before I can, ripping parts of me away with you. You don't want to use me to heal."

He continued, saying, "You only want to use me for numbing the pain because healing goes into uncharted territory, into the unknown, which is scary and new."

Mike, not noticing the tears pouring down Eleven's cheeks, plowed on, "So instead, you hide in your razor-sharp shell internally lined with barbed wire. You hate the shell but love the security it gives you. The security from change. Change scares you because it is new and unknown, it could be better, but it could also be worse than your current situation, but most of all, change scares you because you feel that you aren't deserving of anything better."

"You are wrong on all counts, El. I love you, and I want to be with you. But not like this." Mike took a deep breath and took the plunge. He was ready to shut his door. To stop being a simp. To stand up for himself. "Don't come back until you change your mind because losing you again will kill me. Literally." Mike finished and stalked back into his house, slamming the door, leaving El on his doorstep with tears pouring down her cheeks. She stumbled to her car, and drove for a half mile before she couldn't see straight, and pulled over to call Hopper. Before she made the call, she was startled by a knock on her car window.

End Ch. 25

A/N: I have an idea for another AU fanfiction, so I might be putting this one on hold to work on that one, considering I am having plot development issues (writer's block) on this one. I will try to finish this one up soon, I think. Anyway, see you next time!