Perfect Men
For: Tifa Lockheart Strife
Prompt: Songfic (When You're Gone, Avril Lavigne)
Summary: Tifa's thoughts

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

There are nights she wakes from nightmares conjured from memories, and finds the bed warm where he was sleeping. She has to sit up, rub sleep and tears from her eyes, and move from the bed then, whether it is three in the morning or seven. She wakes slowly when this happens, moving sluggishly like her feet are weighted with lead. Voices haunt her ears, words spoken that seem so long ago, but weren't really.

"I guess that only works for real families..."

"Tifa…I'm not fit to help anyone. Not my family, not my friends…no one."

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

There's dew on the grass this morning, and she can watch the sunrise on the roof, but she won't. Sunrises are like hope, and that's the last thing she needs. She knows he'll never be perfect, and she knows she's far from it herself, but hope is always a bittersweet thing; sweet when he's there, bitter when he's not. She wonders where he headed this morning, and if he'll bother calling her when he gets there.

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
They lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

She calls Barret at eight as she picks up laundry around the house; Denzel's pajamas, Marlene's pink skirt, his shirt. She's asking when he'll be by again. He asks why she's still hung up on a man that doesn't care about her. She laughs it off, scolds Barret for being angry and hangs up the phone. He doesn't know, Barret wouldn't know, but she does. She knows he cares, she can see it in his eyes, and she remembers in his voice when he found her in that church. He just doesn't know how to say it sometimes, and he makes mistakes, but he's still a good person, probably better than her.

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me

She sweeps the floor even though she did that last night…even though she mopped last night. Maybe she's too in touch with her feelings, and that's the problem. He doesn't know how to show he cares, and she can't tell him how she feels. It really is a twisted relationship, a bit warped in ideal minds of what love is. Course, she can't really say what they have is love, or just an existence from one human being to the other…an acceptance, and a want of not being alone. She's tired of being alone, and she knows he is too, even if he won't say it…even if he won't say a lot of things.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone

She recounts the money in the cash register, correct down to the penny, and it almost bothers her how some things are so perfect…the things that really don't matter. It's hard to convince herself that he is the man he is when he isn't standing in front of her. It's hard for her to believe that he'll be back before she knows it, that he won't take to his old ways and sleep on some unforgiving floor in a forsaken city. It's hard, and it'll never stop being hard, but sometimes she thinks that's the life she signed up for when she left the ruins of Nibelheim for revenge.

The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok

She's stocking some drinks beneath the counter when the phone starts ringing. It almost shakes her from her reverie, but not quite. She brushes her hands off on her pants, heading up the stairs to take another order in someone else's life… She's ready for her life to begin, and not live the way she use to. And it's not like blaming him like Barret does will make it better, because it isn't even his fault. She's just so use to these feelings after two years of doubt to think he can heal that quickly. And she knows he can't just snap his fingers and be the outstanding man everyone expects of him.

And she's okay with that.

"Strife delivery service, you name it we deliver it."

"Tifa."

She blinks a couple times, before smiling; perfect men don't interrupt people. Perfect men call.

"Morning. I haven't got any more deliveries for the day. Something up?"

"No."

"Just calling?"

"Good morning, Tifa."

She giggles, "Good morning Cloud. You left early."

"…"

"It's okay, I couldn't sleep either."

She can hear him swallow through the line, and sighs softly; perfect men let their family know when they're leaving, where they're going.

"Where are you?"

"Outside of Mideel…"

"Taking a break?"

"Hn."

"You can elaborate, you know? I've got plenty of time to kill…kids are already gone, cleanings done…just waiting around for customers, and if I've learned one thing these past few years is that men don't like to drink early."

"What about women?"

"Was that a joke?"

A humor-filled grunt; his version of a laugh, "A question…"

"Oh, well you should apologize…you've kept me from my morning whisky shots. For shame, Cloud."

Another grunt.

She hesitates, words lingering on her tongue, and she feels her throat lock up. What was it she use to say? Be careful, Cloud…or how are you doing Cloud? That was when she talked to a voicemail, though…

"I miss you."

She jumps, caught off guard; perfect men say they miss you and they love you.

She swallows before smiling, "Yeah…I miss you, too. Get home early, and I might cook a big supper."

She's rewarded with another grunt.

She smiles again. He isn't perfect, but he isn't too far off, either.

I miss you

A/N: So, I've never done a songfic before...and I find them kind of constricting, but that makes it a challenge. I tried not to follow the lyrics to literally...like, not have them really restrict my writing...but its sort of all over the place, so it was kind of an experience. Still, I hope you all enjoy it! I went and saw Harry Potter today! I'm a happy camper. Here's the updated list...if you aren't on it, and requested something, then I've missed you. I'm trying to be all organized (OOC) so you'll have to help me out. Don't be afraid to be like 'hey idiot, I'm suppose to be on there too...' Just repost it for this chapter, and you'll be added

1. Le Pecore Nere- Dog Filled
2. Tri17 – Aeris' dress Filled
3. mistakenXsilence – piano Filled
4. sam – Tifa gets angry, cloud makes up Filled
5. Alice001 – CloTi fluff
6. Aknskywalker – friendship Filled
7. Calistar Heir – argument Filled
8. x.one.winged.angel.x – decorating
9. elebelly – irony Filled
10. Le Pecore Nere – sadness w/ flower, to happiness
11. Meilinoa – Training
12. Mandylion – Mistaken Identity
13. Paintball Willie – Tifa beats Cloud at Paintball
14. Lord Divestre Croft – accident (Hospital)
15. Zaz9-zaa0 – Cloud babysits (who's this guy?)
16. Tifa Lockheart Strife – Songfic When You're Gone Filled
17. Iskra Revoir – Cloud the doctor loses patient Filled
18. G.M. Potter – Tifa gets sick/Cloud takes care of her
19. Lachrymosity – Love subtle
20. sam – songfic (kismet)
21. src83 – Cloud&Tifa detectives (Solve murder)
22. purple parasol – Tying up lose ends