Choices
For: Le Pecore Nere
Prompt: Sadness to happiness w/ flower (XD)
Summary: It was wrong to try and make him choose.

There is that place where the water lies still despite winds and rains; that place where the water remains clean, despite pollution and people; that place that causes her deep sorrow, and deep happiness.

It is that place where flowers sprout from water when they should've been drowned.

It is a contradiction like no other, and it stirs her to the deepest recesses of her soul. She has cried here, and laughed here, smiled and frowned.

She had lost her friend, her sister, her ally, and her rival. There were many things between them left unsaid, but there was one thing that the two distinctly opposite girls had understood. They understood each other. While Aeris had been obviously flirtatious and out going, and she shy and a bit hesitant, they had understood feelings and both had warm hearts.

She had often felt like she was second best to Aeris, living in her shadow for the short amount of time she had known her, and the longer amount of time since her death. She smirks sadly, it is hard to live in the shadow of a dead woman, but somehow she has managed to pull it off.

She still mentally badgers herself each day for trying to make him choose. It has been three months, and she can think of two million different ways to gently approach the subject, and guide him down the path he needs to go, but for some reason, the only thing that had stuck out in her mind that night was making him choose.

Why? Why had she made him choose? It was wrong, because she herself hadn't made that choice to live for a memory or for the living. It had been foolish, and selfish of her, and she can't help but think it was more than just trying to get him to move, and it was much more personal than 'us'. 'Us' had rang of many people then; Marlene, Denzel, Barret, Yuffie to name a few. But now, she knew what rang true in her heart when she said 'us' was her and him.

But she had been so tired of giving him gentle nudges! She had wanted him to move again. He had started out so promising, moving swiftly, and trying to find himself. But…over time he fell away, and stopped moving, and if anything, went backwards. She had been tired of leaving tiny hints on his voicemail, and after seeing him for the first time in two weeks, she had snapped a little bit. But wasn't that natural? To be a bit angry at him for leaving without a word? Wasn't that understandable? Of course it was…it was perfectly reasonable for her to lose her temper.

…Still…it hadn't been perfectly reasonable for him to choose. You can't choose between the living and the dead, and she understands this. You're supposed to live for everyone, not just the living, and not just the dead. He had just needed to find a balance, and that's what she should've said…but how do you say that?

Which is it? One of us, or all of us?

That didn't make sense, because the dead were more than just Aeris (though she sometimes forgot that).

Maybe she just should've said, 'Live for all of us, not just the dead.'

But that sounded corny…

Why did she make him choose?! Or maybe he hadn't. He had done what he needed to…found a balance between living for the dead, and living for the living.

If anyone needs to find that balance, it is herself. She is all over the place now, lost in all the ways she could've fixed everything that had happened. She could've kept him from leaving…she should've known what was going on; she had known the symptoms of Geostigma, so why the hell didn't she see it in him? Why had she been so blind? She is blind, though, isn't she?

Think about it though, she is, because she keeps blindly hoping for him.

And every time, every thought always brought her back to this: Why had she made him choose?

Course, he hadn't chosen, she knows that…but she had tried to make him choose, and how could she make him choose between dead friends and living friends?

Because she had wanted him as more of a friend.

God she is such a schoolgirl…especially when she comes to this place. Course, Aeris had been a schoolgirl too, but she'd been good at it. Aeris probably amplifies her schoolgirl tendencies when she comes here…make her squeal over little things and fret over stupid mistakes.

God why does she have to be a schoolgirl? Why did she have to make him choose? Or make him think he had to choose?!

She sighs, placing her head in her hands.

The floorboards were creaking, but she ignores them. She knows who it is, and has come to recognize the steady, slow footfalls.

Her feet are in the water, and she does not look up from her hands.

The steps stop, and she knows that he is peeling off his boots, and rolling up the legs of his pants, and sitting down at the edge of the pool beside of her.

She peeks through one of her fingers with a wide eye, and instead of being greeted with the yellow of his hair she is greeted with the yellow of a flower pedal.

She slowly lowers her hands, taking the stem of the yellow lily with delicate fingers.

"Thanks…" she mutters, still ashamed.

He shrugs, and she watches out of the corner of her eye as he flushes slightly.

"Marlene…" his voice sends shivers down his spine, "Told me that it'd cheer you up."

She frowns, "What? How—

"Back…when I first gave you a flower. I couldn't find any…so…it took me a while to finally get you one."

She frowns; he must mean the flower he bought from Aeris all those years ago.

"Why was I upset?"

"All I know is that you broke a couple glasses. Marlene wouldn't tell me…she just told me…to, well…"

She smirks, "Give me a flower…taking the advice of a six year old?"

"She's eight now."

"Eight and a half."

A small smile spreads on her face, "She reminded you?"

He clears his throat and blushes again, "Yeah…"

So, Marlene knew she was upset, but it wasn't his fault this time. She sighs, twirling the flower's stem between her fingers. At least this place makes him as much of a schoolboy as it makes her a schoolgirl. She doesn't feel so overwhelmed now.

"I-I…it's not your fault…"

"Hmm?"

"It's not your fault I'm upset this time."

"This time?" he asks dubiously.

She flushes, avoiding his eye, "I mean…it's my fault that I'm upset," she stutters, "I…I tried to make you choose and I'm sorry, I really am…it's impossible to do, and anyways… It wasn't right of me to make you do that, or prompt you to do that, because I know that memories are important too…not just u—people."

He doesn't say anything, and she swallows, waiting. It's hard for her to avoid looking at him.

"Hmm…" his low voice echoes in the building, "I think…I figured something out."

She snaps her head up too quickly, "What?"

She flushes, bowing her head back down, and he smirks slightly.

"I live for the dead….but you live for the past."

She nods her head slowly; she did have a habit of dwelling on the past.

"We should fix that…"

"We should…" he agrees.

"Course," she's rambling again, "You're doing much better than I am…I mean, look at you…what's it been, three months, and you're already doing better…and me," she mutters softly, "I'm still stuck on a conversation you probably forgot about up until now."

She mentally groans when she realizes she said all that out loud. Curse Aeris and her ability to make her a schoolgirl and talk about her feelings.

"…I thought about that conversation a lot…" he mumbles, almost incoherently, "I…thought that there were things left…unsaid…"

"Probably best…I'd just end up saying something stupid again," she folded her knees up against her chest.

"It wasn't stupid, Tifa."

She nods her head, feeling small for being so cold and rude. She should be nicer, she should be warmer, but she can't…not right now. After all, she lives for the past, doesn't she? And her past has just been one big ray of sunshine and glory, hasn't it?

"It wasn't," he mumbles again, as if trying to find merit in his argument.

She sighs deeply, "Yes…yes it was…it's stupid to ask for something impossible."

"There is no such thing as a stupid question—

"Oh hush up," she grumbles, "Since when did you start spouting out little life lessons?"

He hesitates, choosing his words, "Since you told me to start moving…"

She blinks, looking over at him, "I never told you that…"

"Well, that wasn't the exact wording. It was more like 'Which is it…a memory or us?'"

She stares at the pool, "Oh…"

"…yeah…"

She presses her lips together in thought before sighing again, "We're a mess, aren't we?"

He shrugs, "I suppose…"

She smiles sadly again, and closes her eyes.

There is a rustling, and she opens them, finding herself staring at a flower pedal again.

She frowns, because her flower is still in her hand. She follows the pedals to its stem, and to a hand holding it out to her.

She takes it slowly with her free hand and looks at him, "What are…"

"I'm going to keep giving you flowers until you feel better. Marlene told me to."

"Because Marlene is all knowing and wise," she smiles, and after a moment, throws her head back and laughs. He grins small and sheepish, a rare sight.

"Guess you don't need this," he places the next flower into the water, and they watch it float.

"They don't hurt," she picks a flower herself, and bravely leans in close to stick it in the opening of his shirt.

He stares down at it dubiously, and she stands quickly before she can think of what she just did and picks up her shoes.

"Come on, I've still got to make supper," she holds a hand down to help him stand.

He takes it, holding onto it after he stands and picks up his boots. As they move down the isle he releases her hand, and throws his arm over her shoulders, pulling her close.

They walk out, barefooted, with flowers in their hands, and one safely carted in the opening of a shirt.

A/N: ...random...ENJOY! Thanks for reviews loves!