Echo
For: Unpersonified
Prompt: It's been ten years since Tifa's death. Cloud visits her grave with his teenaged daughter to pay his respects to the woman who taught him not only the meaning of life, but how to treasure it.
Summary: He tries to remember a day when he'd thought he'd actually never be forty five, about how life moves to fast to actually think you can never grow that old. To think that he'd never have the chance to get this old after every danger he's ever faced. If anyone should've lived, it should've been her, and not him.
She knows he's tired of living; he's tried his hardest for the entire sixteen years of her life to be there when she needs him, but she's been raised more by her uncles and aunts, than him.
She can still remember holding her mother's hand at six years old, never wanting to let go, to not feel that reassuring pressure of her hand against her own. She knows he doesn't like to look at her anymore than she likes to look at herself in the mirror. She knows when Robert stops by the bar on occasion he watches her closely, watches him closely. She thinks he's remembering a time when he used to stop by to see her mother, or watch her from afar. She hopes Robert doesn't think of her like that, because she never wants to fall in love. She never wants to fall in love because she doesn't want Robert to end up like her father.
Her father moves slower than she does, so she holds back on her pace.
She doesn't touch him unless it's necessary. If looking at her is hard enough, how would touching her be?
She bites her lip, and then stops. Every habit, every mood, everything seemed to be picked up from her mother some how. It's amazing how a woman can make such an impression on her when she's only knew her for six years of her childhood.
Not to mention the fact she left the disease in her wake.
They didn't know her mother had Lupus until she got pregnant. Her mother had already suffered two miscarriages before she had her, and left her with the lasting disease.
That's another reason why she doesn't touch him. He's afraid of the disease. She knows he loves her, but for as much as he loves her, he doesn't want to see her go the same way her mother went.
They're nearing the grave now; she can see the gray stone at the top of the hill beneath a large tree. She has come here on her own several times and seen her father sitting beneath the tree when he should be out doing deliveries.
She always leaves when she sees him like this.
She still doesn't understand why they can't mourn together, but Yuffie tells her that's just the way her father is. That's just who he is, to mourn by himself and keep others out.
Yuffie also finally told her about the disease, and the decline of her mother's health that started with the pregnancy. It had started with the miscarriages they believed, but still, hadn't suspected anything...however, when her mother had become pregnant for the third time she seemed to get nauseous more than usual. Then the fevers began, and the headaches that would leave her in the bed for hours.
Yuffie said it was a miracle that the pregnancy went as smooth as it did, that both the mother and baby were fine despite the risks.
Fine other than the fact that she herself had been diagnosed with Lupus.
They come to stand before the grave, and she stares down at the name.
Tifa Lockhart Strife
Loving mother, friend, daughter, and wife.
She wishes her father would of thought of something more personal, but she can even remember the grief that racked him through those following months...years.
It was a miracle that he showed up at the funeral. Still, after Yuffie had come to take care of her after her mother's death, her father had hidden himself in the room, and disappeared at odd times for hours.
When he presented himself in a plain, clean suit she had been amazed. He had stood stark still, staring at the casket, Yuffie and the others intercepting the mourners. He wanted nothing to do with them, she knew that now. She believes the only reason he came to her mother's funeral was to see her one last time, even if she was dead.
She had held his hand, grabbed it hesitantly. He had flinched, but held on to it. She tries to remember the last time she held her father's hand, and she can't.
It might've been at the funeral. Who knows?
She could remember her mother's constant fatigue, and a brief period of hair loss.
When she turned three, her mother began to suffer from strokes. Bright lights weren't allowed, and she remembers watching her mother slowly become thinner. As a girl, Yuffie would sometimes put her to bed, telling her stories of when her mother was so strong, and fought with her bare fists. She loved-loves those stories, thinking of a time when her mother wasn't weak and her muscles weren't aching.
When she had turned five, her mother began experiencing sharp pains in her chest, especially when she laughed. That was the hardest part, getting used to her mother not laughing anymore.
Soon after, the arthritis came, and it became a chore just to hold her daughter's hand, to hug her husband's neck.
Not to long after that, her mother contracted a high fever, and went into a seizure.
She fell asleep, and never woke up.
Pulling the plug on her mother was the hardest thing her father ever did, she knows this. But like Barret had said, even if she did wake up, she would still suffer.
Her father still doesn't she knows all this, and he would murder Yuffie if he ever found out that Yuffie had told her everything.
Sometimes she wishes she didn't know how her mother fell...every detail from being the strongest woman in the world, to the weakest. But she had always been happy...even if she couldn't remember her mother being strong like her father could, she could remember her being happy.
That was one thing they had.
She's afraid, she's been afraid for a while, because she doesn't want to tell him how her joints are getting stiff, and starting to ache. She doesn't want to tell him that this morning while she was getting ready she threw up. She doesn't want to tell him that the doctors have given her medicine for strokes, and she doesn't want to tell him that's the reason why she isn't learning to drive.
He doesn't ask anyways, and she's even more afraid that a part of him knows she's sick and getting worse...just like her mother.
She takes the flowers in her left hand and sits them down against the gravestone, fluffing them up with her hands. She likes it up here, her mother, she knows this. She can feel it.
She swallows, still kneeling, and sneezes suddenly when the wind picks up.
She winces, pressing her hand to her chest and nearly losing her balance when a sharp pain stabs her in the chest. It takes her a moment to catch her breath, steadying herself with her other hand. She swallows, standing slowly and not looking at her father, because she knows he's looking at her, studying her.
Yes, yes, I do still have Lupus, and I think I'm going to die too...what will you do about it? What will you do if I die before you? Will you do anything at all?
Her chest still hurts, so she keeps her fist balled up at her side, hiding it from her father. She can feel one of her headaches coming on.
She hopes she doesn't lose her hair, though. That seems pointless, but she really doesn't. She was envious of her mother's hair when she was little. It was so thick, and beautiful. She doesn't want to lose that part of her.
His sudden touch makes her jump, slightly startled, when he laces his fingers in her own. He knows, and she feels awful, because he shouldn't have to go through something like this again.
Hot tears slid down her cheek silently, and she gasps out, "I'm scared."
His broken eyes study the grave before him before he replies in his low voice, "Me too."
A/N: So like, I know the 'summary' isn't really a summary...but I wanted to give like a hint of what was going through Cloud's mind. So, UP requested this, and I did it because it was tragic, and moody, and I felt like writing something tragic and moody. It was a different take from the happy prompts. I like the happy promts, but tragedy and angst is always interesting to write. I hope you liked this UP! and everyone else, thanks for reviews!