Chapter 19

Lydia

When Lydia opened her eyes she was standing on a flat, mist filled plain. She dropped to her knees and slammed her fist into the ground a few times before she stood, shaking her head. She started walked forward, just to give herself something to do.

Suddenly a deep voice rose up beside her. "So I finally get to meet the woman who has been an anchor for Ragnthor for years now. Strange though. I have never seen you here before." He gestured around him.

Lydia snorted. "Well I never planned to be here."

Arkay nodded and guided her to a chair. "That I understand. Most people never come here. Only those with a will to live and who the gods watch over." Lydia looked at him as he continued. "I would think you have questions. Ragnthor did when first found himself here."

Lydia nodded. "When did he first come here?"

Arkay rubbed his jaw. "Oh, it must have been about 3 months after he left Whiterun. Found himself surrounded by 13, 14 bandits. He managed to cut them all down. Oh the sky's were in an uproar that night. Akatosh lost a bet to Talos over that."

Lydia looked at him with shocked eyes. "A Bet?! What Do Gods Even Have To Bet?!"

Arkay smiled and chuckled. "Our power." Lydia started to speak and he raised his hand. "Our power comes from prayers given to us. Some of the lesser worshiped of us offer up some of theirs hoping to win more. As one of the more powerful of the gods, I have lost my fair share of bets to Talos. He has a nasty habit of knowing which way the "stones" will fall."

Lydia shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe I just heard that. But I have one more question. Do you know why Ragnthor fights the way he does?"

Arkay nodded. "Well for the first few times he ended up here I honestly believe that he wanted to die. I think the strain of losing both his father and you weighed heavy on him. That was the only reason I offered him the deal. He seemed to like to fight. As to why he fights that way now, I don't truly know. He fights to protect the ones he loves. And when he does he does it the fastest way possible, no matter the cost to him."

Lydia nodded, wiping her eyes. "It doesn't help how I feel but it is nice to know. So we have to fight now, right?"

Arkay smiled. "Actually, no. I was preparing myself after you took that spear because I knew you would find your way here and Ragnthor says you are quite the fighter, maybe even better than himself in skill. But there is one of us who wishes to talk to you. My mother, in fact. So if you would be so kind as to wait here for her, I shall take my leave." Arkay stood and walked off into the mist.

Lydia watched him vanish off into the mist. She sat there and waited, thinking about what had led her to this point. She nodded and sighed, realizing that everything that put her on this path was related to Ragnthor in one way or another.

She felt hands on her shoulders and heard a soft, warm voice. "It's sad that you have ended up here. Ragnthor I understand because he was given the short end of the stick but you have always had people who cared you, in one way or another." Lydia felt a hand softly ruffle her hair.

A person appeared in the corner of her vision and walked over to the chair opposite of her. She was a tall, Nord woman who had a willowy form though she moved with the grace of a warrior. She wore durable looking light armor with the mark of Akatosh upon it, over which she wore a silver cloak. She left her hands uncovered. Her thick, shiny black hair reached her waist. Her face was soft and her light blue eyes somehow conveyed warmth. As she took Lydia's hand she felt that her hand were soft though supple and strong.

Lydia fought the urge to kneel and instead bowed her head. "It's an honor, Handmaiden Mara. Or is it Lady Mara?"

Mara chuckled. "In this form I am Lady Mara but," Lydia felt Mara's hand start to shake as her form shivered. Suddenly another person was in front of her.

She was wearing heavy steel armor and had lost the willowy form, now having broader shoulders and a more solid body. She had shoulder length, dark red hair and striking green eyes. Her hands were rough, feeling more accustom to welding an axe rather than a sword. As she smiled, it looked wild and slightly feral. "I can change between both."

Lydia gasped as she shifted back. "I do prefer this form. I feel a little more regal, more godlike."

Lydia shook her head in amazement. "Every time I meet a god, I am shocked at what I learn."

Mara smiled and nodded. "The gods are unknowable, that is what you should take with you." She sat back and put her hands in her lap. "Now let's get down to business. Why did you leave Ragnthor? It would have saved you much pain and suffering to stay."

Lydia shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "When I left I was tired of watching him risk his life to save me, to save people he didn't know, to prove a point. No tired is not the right word. I couldn't handle him basically throwing his life away with every fight. No one has earned that, the right to have someone give everything they are for you." She wiped her eyes and Mara put a hand on her knee.

"Oh child, the pain you have felt has shaped you. Losing your mother, lover, and father through no fault of your own has changed your core. You have built your life so you don't want others to help you. And while Ragnthor knows this, there is no way he can comprehend a life like that. And he is scarred in his own way."

Lydia looked up at her, eyes red. "What do you mean?"

Mara gave her a sad smile. "Ragnthor lost both his father and you in such a short time. It broke him. And when you beat him after he showed his heart, it cut deep. He might not always show it, but he is slipping back. For the first 2 years he was gone, he was looking to die, for failing you. 6 years later he pulled himself up, based on the thought that you might still want him. And you tore that down, which is understandable. But he struggled through. But since you left him, he has slipped. Would you like to see?" Lydia nodded, tears starting to slip from her eyes.

Mara waved her hand and the mist formed a picture. It was Ragnthor but different. He was lost weight, 20, 30 lbs and he had massive bags under his eyes. He stared out the window, holding his still smoking pipe. Suddenly his door flew open and Lucia came in, sword on her hip. Ragnthor stuck his thumb in the bowl and, unflinchingly, snuffed out the pipe and smiled. Lucia gestured at her sword and Ragnthor nodded, picking up his practice one. Mara waved her hand and the picture vanished.

"That little girl is the only thing keeping him sane and alive. Without her he might have been on his way to the realm of a Daedra within 4 days of you leaving. But every day he gets up and teaches something to Lucia. And that keeps him going, day to day."

Lydia's eyes grew wide as she nodded. "I understand this, but why does he act the way he does?"

Mara sighed. "Because he would rather die than have anything happen to those he watches out for. It's an honorable trait, when pair with caution, but he lost what little he had of that over a decade ago. And the only way he is going to change is if you show him that there is something worth living for. Without you or someone else doing that, he will be dead inside of 3 years."

Lydia stood and started pacing. "Send me back. Do I need to fight? Do I need to beg?"

Mara stood and walked over to her. "You're right, it's time to go. Too long here and your soul doesn't want to go back. But before you go I have a gift." She rubbed Lydia's back, right where the spear had pierced through. "When you wake, the wound in your back will be healed. Just to make life a little easier. Now sleep, my daughter."

Mara bent over and kissed her on the brow. Lydia's eyes grew heavy and she slowly sank to the ground.

Lydia came to 3 days later. As she painfully sat up, she rolled up her shirt and unwrapped the bandage. The wound in her front was red, nasty and infected. She walked over to the bag on the floor and pulled out the saddle bags. She sat down and poured brandy over her stomach, wincing.

She rolled her shirt down and walked outside. She walked over to the stable and let Black Moon out. She cursed herself as she watched him tear into the grass.

She walked back to the door where she sat down and a log. She looked out at the small clearing and smiled. It was a peaceful place and she dozed the day away. She woke up around dark and walked into the house and cooked some of the supplies she had. As she opened that bag she saw that she didn't have much left.

She sat at the small table in front of the fire. "I will need to find a way to get food if I am here for more than a week." She shook her head as she scraped what was left on her plate into the fire then fell into her bed.

The next morning there was a skiff of snow on the ground. Lydia's eyes grew wide as she shook her head and cursed, slamming her fist into the cabin wall.

"Shit. Shit. SHIT! I'm not getting out of here this winter. I'm at least a week, maybe 2 from being able to ride out of here and there might be 4 or 5 ft of snow." She slammed her fist into the wall again. "Shit, I have a hell of a lot to. I'm glad there is some wood and hay."

She winced and shook her head and she pulled an axe out of a chopping block. She felt its edge and nodded. She put the axe over her shoulder and walked into the woods to cut more wood and to start working on a bow.

She shook her head and wiped her face as she walked deeper. "I'm sorry Ragnthor. I swear by all the gods I'll try my hardest to get back to you."

Ragnthor

Ragnthor swung his sword and, with a clang, disarmed his opponent. He thrust his sword into the ground and, leaning on it, laughed.

"If you can't hold onto your sword, Lucia, you will never win a fight."

Lucia grumbled as she walked over to her sword. "I'm less than a third your size. How do you expect me to block your blows?"

As she walked back he got pulled his sword out of the ground. "I don't. You are small and unless you grow very fast, very soon, you will never be able to block my swings. Unless you have a shield but I can't teach you that, never used one myself. You need to deflect my blows. Instead of trying to stop my blade, guide it so that it doesn't hit you."

He lifted his sword in preparation of fighting. "Now let's try again."

Lucia groan and he smiled. "If you are able to deflect 5 of my blows, we will stop and do something fun. Maybe work with the foals again."

Lucia's face brightened and she ready herself. "Let's go!"

Ragnthor smiled and he swung his sword.

An hour later, Ragnthor watched as Lucia slipped a halter of the head of the paint colt and, gently pulling, led him around in a circle. He smiled as he walked over to Ghardh.

As Ragnthor approach, his head shot into the air. He snorted and pawed as Ragnthor walked close enough to touch him. In the 2 weeks since the fight his wounds had healed well. The wounds on his neck and legs were already starting to re-grow hair. Ragnthor managed to dodge a kick as he touched Ghardh's neck.

Ragnthor smiled. "What an ornery creature. Tomorrow you and me will see who is in charge."

Ghardh stared at him with a look almost human. Ragnthor shook his head and smiled.

He walked back over to Lucia. She had the colt following her like a puppy.

He walked over to her, smiling. "What did you do to get him to follow you like that?"

Lucia lowered her head shamefully. "I took some sugar from the kitchen and gave it to him."

Ragnthor smiled and put his hand on her back. "No need to be shameful. Its good you thought of that. It's better to have him learn that good things come from being led than learning that its only to pull him around. But tell me next time, I need to know how much food we have so I know how much I need to buy in town."

Lucia nodded. "Ok Ragnthor."

Ragnthor rubbed her head. "Now let's get inside and eat something. I want an early night because tomorrow I am going to try and ride Ghardh and I want all the rest I can get." Lucia nodded and they walked toward the house.

As they walked into the house, Ragnthor was hit again by how empty it was. Ralof and Brasella had gone back to Riverwood a week ago and with just Lucia and himself, this big old house just felt empty.

He smiled as Slasher ran over to him and, rubbing his head, looked at Lucia. "So you're fine with having jerky again, right?"

Lucia groaned and looked up at him. "Jerky again? We have had jerky everyday for a week. Can't you please cook something?"

Ragnthor rubbed her head. "Ok. You go in the cellar and cut 3 steaks down for me and I will cook them." Lucia nodded and tore off with Slasher.

Ragnthor shook his head as he pulled out a skillet and potatoes. As he was finishing up cutting the potatoes, Lucia came bursting up out of the cellar with the steaks. Ragnthor put them in the skillet with the potatoes. 30 minutes later Ragnthor slid a steak onto a plate on the floor for Slasher then divided the steak and potatoes between him and Lucia.

Ragnthor looked over at Lucia and saw she looked sad. "What's wrong little lass?"

Lucia pushed her potatoes around the plate. "I miss Lydia."

Ragnthor sighed. "I do too. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her."

Lucia looked up at him with a sad face. "Do you think she is ever coming back?"

Ragnthor shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. The only ones who do are the gods." Lucia nodded and wiped her eyes as he continued. "If you pray about it, pray to Talos." Her eyes went wide as he held up a hand. "I know he is banned but he is real and seems to take an interest in my affairs."

Lucia nodded. "Ok, I will try that."

Ragnthor nodded. "Now I need to go to Riften before the snow flies. I plan to leave as soon as I ride Ghardh tomorrow. And you get to come."

Lucia beamed up at him. "Really?!"

Ragnthor nodded. "So you need to get your clothes packed tonight. You can ride the paint mare and we will be bringing her colt with her, he is just a little too young to wean." Lucia was almost bouncing in her seat as he continued. "Now hurry and eat so you can get your rest."

Lucia nodded and tore into her food as Ragnthor shook his head and smiled.

The next morning Ragnthor woke just as the sun was rising. He pulled on his clothes and took a thick rope out of his closet. He quietly walked outside. He grabbed his saddle out of the shed and put it on the fence near the corner and walked into the field.

Ragnthor slowly herded Ghardh toward the corner. Suddenly Ghardh threw his head up and bolted. Ragnthor threw the rope over his head and pulled him to a stop. He slowly drug the fighting horse close enough to the fence he could tie him to it.

As she pulled the knot tight he stood back and watched as Ghardh fought against the pressure of the rope. After a few minutes he stopped and Ragnthor walked over packing a bridle. As he attempted to slip it on Ghardh's head, Ghardh bit down on his forearm. Ragnthor winced as his teeth sunk deep. He put his hand under Ghardh's jaw and shoved his fingers in the horse's mouth. As Ghardh opened his mouth, Ragnthor slipped the bit between his teeth and quickly buckled the headstall tight.

Ragnthor walked over to the well and poured some water over the bite before pulling a piece of cloth out of his saddle and wrapped the bite. Then he picked up the saddle and threw it over Ghardh's back. As he bent to tighten the cinch he was rewarded with a kick that sent him sprawling. He got up and grabbed Ghardh's ear in one hand and twisted it. As Ghardh squirmed to get his ear free, Ragnthor managed to get the cinch tightened.

He looked over and saw Lucia had come out to see what the noise was. He waved at her to stop and, pulling out his dagger, cut the rope around Ghardh's neck.

As soon as the rope was off Ghardh started to back away. Ragnthor got in close and pulled Ghardh's head hard to the right, causing him to turn toward him. Ragnthor pulled his head harder as he swung on.

As soon as Ragnthor's butt hit the saddle, Ghardh exploded. Ghardh tried to bolt out from under him but Ragnthor pulled his head hard to the left and spun him in a circle. When he found he couldn't run straight, Ghardh lost his mind. He reared so hard and fast the Ragnthor was scare they were going to fall over backward. Ragnthor stood high in the saddle and threw himself against Ghardh's neck, forcing him down. As soon as his forelegs hit the ground, Ghardh fell to the ground and tried to roll. Ragnthor manage to slip his foot out of the stirrup before Ghardh hit the ground and avoided a crushed leg. As he braced against the ground and the saddle in an attempt to stop Ghardh from rolling he heard the leather creak and crack. He sent a silent prayer to the gods that it would hold as he swung the ends of the reins down onto Ghardh's hindquarters.

As Ghardh surged to his feet, screaming, Ragnthor roared at Lucia. "GET THAT GATE OPEN! I NEED ROOM TO RUN HIM!"

Ragnthor kept making him run in a tight circle. As soon as Lucia had the gate open, Ragnthor slammed both his heels and the reins into Ghardh, hard. Ghardh screamed with anger as they blew out the gate and tore down the lane, Ragnthor goading him on with his feet and the reins.

30 minutes later Ragnthor and Ghardh came trotting back up to the house. Ghardh was covered in lather. He still had fire in his eyes but listened obediently to Ragnthor's every command. Ragnthor rode up and tied him to the stable and swung off.

He walked over to Lucia. "Are you ready to go?" Lucia nodded enthusiastically and Ragnthor smiled. "Well then go out and catch the paint mare and bring her out here. And don't forget the colt."

As Lucia nodded and tore out into the field, Ragnthor walked back into the house. He pulled a small package out of his closet then walked back outside.

When he got outside he saw Lucia had tied the mare to the fence and was brushing her. Ragnthor tore the paper and pulled out a saddle and bridle. He slipped the bit into the mares mouth and threw the saddle on her back and tighten it. Then he picked Lucia up and placed her on the saddle, adjusting the stirrups to fit her.

When he looked up at her, she was beaming. "Alright Lucia. She should just follow me but if you start falling behind, give her a kick and she will catch up. Just make sure you don't kick the colt or she might buck you off. Now keep close to me."

He walked over and swung onto Ghardh. He tapped him with his heels and they started down the road to Riften. AS they started to ride up into the mountains behind Whiterun, it started to softly snow.

Author's Note: Wow, this took a long time to finally make its way out of my head and onto the site. And while I know that there is really no good excuse for lackluster output, I will say that I have picked up a job working 6 days a week for a farmer who lives just down the road which leaves me very little time to write each day and some of the bigger parts need a full day to write, which I get once a week. And also I have started writing an original fiction of which the first chapter is up on . If you have a burning desire to read it, I post under the name JacksonMcBalthus on FictionPress. And again, thank you for reading.