Chapter Sixty-Three

"Ugh, two years! Whatever am I supposed to do without you?"

Julia chuckled, not looking up from the parchment she was filling out at Lily's overdramatics; "Oh, I'm sure you'll find a way to bear the sorrow at my absence. Hell, after tonight you're going to be far too busy with arms full of professor to even be thinking about me."

Lily shot her a grin and a look from where she was finishing packing up her bag; "Well, I suppose a congratulations are in order. But believe me, I give it reluctantly."

Julia tore off the end of the scroll of parchment, handing it over with a grin; "Here you go. Your instructions on how to ensure you make a full and speedy recovery. Now, remember you have to take it easy for a couple of weeks. Bottom, not top."

"Julia!"

They burst out laughing.

"Hey –" Julia held up her hands; "- I'm just letting you know it is A – okay for you to be getting back down to business. You would not believe how many people ask me that when I'm discharging them."

Lily snickered, her lips pursed together as she tried to keep from laughing too hard – the jostling still hurt, a little – and before she could say anything more Grace bounded into the room.

"Mummy!"

"Oh, hello, Sweetheart," Lily knelt down to the welcome feel of her daughter's arm winding tight around her neck; "Are you excited to go home?"

"Um –" Grace glanced over her shoulder at Remus, who was just coming through the door, before meeting her eyes and saying, sweetly; "Of course, Mummy. It's home."

Lily gave her a little smile, ruffling her hair; "Going to miss the magic at Hogwarts, hm?"

"Yes!"

The three adults in the room laughed.

Julia hung the – now empty – chart board on the wall and announced; "Well, that's you all set. I'll check in a couple of times before my shifts this week. See how you're doing."

"Thanks, Jules," Lily smiled, as they hugged, before Julia headed from the room – saying a hi and goodbye to Remus as she did – and Lily turned to Remus.

"So, that's me, then."

"Yeah," Remus nodded, stepping forward and indicating the bag; "Here, I'll get that."

"Oh, it's fine, Remus."

"No, I'll help you," he insisted, giving her a smile, and she returned it, stepping back so he could cast a minimalizing spell and lift it up.

Lily took Grace by the hand; "Home it is then, Grace."

"I like my bed at home better than Hogwarts. And seeing you. But that's it," Grace said, as they headed out the room; "Maybe you could take me back sometime, Mummy? There's lot of people I'd like to visit now."

"We'll see, Sweetie."

"Uncle Remus said I could stay with him, sometimes, if you let me. Like Harry used to. That would be fun!"

"I bet it would," Lily grinned, as they carried on walking.

Grace filled the journey with her tales of Hogwarts and of all of the magic she'd seen all the way home.

Malachi sat upon his bed in the dorm room, curtains drawn with a silencing charm placed upon it, surrounded by the various books he had gathered about the Statute and the Prophet articles about his dad's trial and the articles that his dad had written as a teenager, when he had fought and rallied dozens of students behind his case for the abolishment of the Statute of Secrecy.

He mulled over the words Julia had said to him at the career fair.

A voice.

His dad had a voice. He made it look easy. He could get up on the stage at the Foundation and have all the guests laughing and hanging onto his every word, with his smiles and his jokes.

If Malachi were to ever find himself on a stage in front of that many people, he'd count himself lucky just to not wet himself with the fright of it.

Besides, who would even care what he had to say?

He leaned his head back on the headboard and closed his eyes. He thought about Emma – her blue eyes and her sweet smiles and the laugh in her voice as she teased him – and got a small, sad smile.

That anyone could think that she was unworthy – that she was beneath him – simply because she wasn't of the magical world was absurd. She was just…perfect. No other girl – none of the witches – in Hogwarts even came close to her.

But, then, Malachi wasn't exactly an unbiased source.

He wondered if he would always feel this way.

Wondered if he'd ever be able to look at another girl and not compare them. Or was he destined to follow the footsteps of his dad, simply flitting from one person to the next – meaninglessly – not even able to settle down and stay with the one who did, finally, manage to move him in the same way as Emma had, anyway.

He lifted the book that he had just finished reading. The one about the obstacles facing a witch or wizard who should find themselves in love with a muggle.

He had been sure at Easter that his dad had been wrong; that his assertions that he would be, basically, ruining his life by wanting to be with a muggle were unfounded.

But, he quickly realized as he had read the accounts of the witches and wizards who had lived through it; maybe his dad wasn't wrong about that.

Not so long as these rules remained in place, anyway.

Those that demanded segregation: silence and secrecy enforced between them, unless bound by marriage or parenthood to a muggle.

He flicked through, eyeing the faces of those who had done it; all those who had chosen to give up their magic, their own world, for the love of a muggle. Forced to choose between who they were and who they loved.

For a muggle could never find a place in their world, with all of the ignorance – on their side, the wizarding side of it all – that the statute demanded of them. It was the magical being who had to give it all up, who had to deny their nature and slip into the muggle world, forced to do so, not by muggles but by the laws of the wizarding world, itself.

Muggle Studies should be made compulsory, Malachi thought it as he tossed the book back onto the bed. Muggle interactions – true, honest ones – should be encouraged, not prohibited.

This veil between them hid too much; allowed too much distance and ignorance to grow between them, and that only bred fear and unease. It was a breeding ground for hate and for violence, the likes of which Grindelwald and Voldemort preyed upon and used to further their own malevolent aspirations.

Malachi's hand found the Walkman that he'd hidden under his pillow. He'd brought it with him, worried it would get lost in the move. Even though he knew it wouldn't work here.

Nothing much worked here, Malachi thought it, despondently. But then, maybe it was him who wasn't working; he just wasn't fitting in – always coming up short – with what everyone else was telling him he was supposed to be.

He pulled out the Walkman, eyes going to it. The little piece he had left of them; of him and Emma. And he thought of the good of them – not the lies, that he'd been bound by law to tell her – as his eyes went to the little plastic window, where he could see her writing inside.

Love, Emma.

Malachi stared at it for a moment.

And then he put it aside, and he leaned forward, using a sweep of his forearm to clear the space on the bed in front of him – accioed all that he needed – and began to write.

He wrote and wrote, the quill not stopping, as he did.

It could have been minutes. It could have been hours.

It could have been anything, Malachi didn't know, but what he did know, was that everything he wrote down was him.

It was what he had to say about it all.

And it was only once he got to the end, that he hesitated, staring at the blank spot of the parchment beneath his last sentence.

And then he drew in a breath and signed off.

Max E. MacLean.

"Hold on tight, fair maiden! It's coming home!"

Grace squealed with laughter from where she was up on Regulus' shoulders, as they finished up the run he had taken her on out in the clearing out the front of the house. One of the wooden chairs on the grass was suddenly transfigured into a mattress as they approached, and Regulus grasped her under her arms as he reached it, giving her a little toss into the air that made her squeal before she landed on the mattress with a bounce.

"Again, Mr. Black!"

Grace immediately got to her feet.

Regulus eyed her, almost panting, with a grin and a hand on his chest.

"I think you've tired Mr. Black out quite enough, Sweetheart," Lily said – saving him – with a laugh in her voice, from where she sat on the stone step of the porch.

Grace giggled, innocently, and jumped off the mattress, and ran down in the direction of the loch.

"Make sure you stay where Mummy can see you."

Regulus came over, with a smile and splayed his palms; "So, what do you think? Can we keep our boys out of mischief in a place like this?" He plonked down next to her, with a grin.

"Can we keep them out of mischief, anywhere? I think that's a bit of lost cause."

"So do I," Regulus said, with a chuckle, leaning his arm over his knees as he pointed out at the water; "Malachi's been telling me Harry's taken quite the fancy to fishing; we could get a boat, I'll take them out."

Lily turned to him, with a raised eyebrow; "I didn't know you had a talent for fishing."

"My presence on the boat would be purely ornamental," he explained, and they both laughed, as he went on; "For supervision purposes, only."

"I'm surprised you'd even be willing to have Harry come stay here, after the last two disasters," Lily pointed out, getting a little frown.

"Like you said, disaster seems to be a somewhat inevitable cloud that hangs upon us all these days," he shrugged, turning away slightly so that she wouldn't see the clouded over darkness in his eyes when he did; "No reason to stop the boys from living while they can."

Lily got a smile, giving a nod, as she glanced at the house and the surroundings; "It's very nice."

"It's very muggle," Regulus clarified, leaning back on his elbows; "Harry's not the only one who's taken a fancy to muggle activities. And this island is, somewhat, secluded enough that we should evade capture for a good while, yet."

"What happened at Easter?"

"Severus never told you?"

"Not yet. I heard a bit, from Julia –"

Regulus tilted his head away again, slightly.

" - but I imagine there's a lot she didn't know."

"Mhm. Yes. Seems when the boys were out meeting this girl – Emma," Regulus said, with a clear of his throat, as if in respect, "- Grace had, inadvertently, done some magic, which set of the Trace. The Dark Lord has infiltrated the Ministry. I have some of my own contacts working on that."

Lily frowned, staring at the ground, before her eyes found Grace where she was paddling ankle-deep in the loch.

"I didn't know…I wouldn't have brought her here –"

"It was an accident, Lily. She's a kid. It happens."

Still, it wouldn't be happening again, Lily thought to herself, feeling incredibly uneasy with the new piece of information. Grace's tendency to defy the rules and perform wandless magic wasn't something she and Severus were unaware of; though it was, certainly, something that they had neglected to fully clamp down upon. She and Severus had performed underage magic, frequently, when they were children themselves, after all, though neither had faced any such consequences as her own children often seemed to, whenever they dared break the rules.

"I'll have to talk to her," Lily said and, when she noticed Regulus begin to say something to the contrary, she shook her head; "About the magic, not what happened at Easter. We've been needing to get that under control for a while."

"Well, while on the topic of getting things under control –" Regulus reached into his robes, pulling out a thickly rolled up scroll, and handed it over; "Here's all you missed."

"Wow. You've been busy," Lily eyed it, beginning to unroll it to take a look.

"Blood magic and horcruxes, should make for riveting bedtime reading," Regulus said with a grin, as he kept his eyes on the water; on Grace, Lily realized, and she wondered if he, too, was as uneasy about her being there as Lily was, even if he hadn't admitted it.

"You've found more on the horcruxes," Lily fingered through, finding that first.

"Sentient horcruxes; there's not much, they're incredibly rare. But that's what we're dealing with in Nagini," Regulus explained; "There's some accounts on the links between horcruxes living and their creator; how the hosts respond and interact with one another. We know the inanimate horcruxes were less than thrilled to be close to one another; but it seems as if Nagini doesn't quite share that same pain."

"Anything in here about that?"

He shook his head; "I've combed through but that's not exactly my forte."

"Severus?"

Regulus raised his eyes to hers, before glancing away with a wry smile; "I think he's had enough on his plate, without bothering him with our assignment."

"How's he been?"

"Quite lost without you."

Regulus said it lightly, but Lily knew it was said sincerely and, after how Severus had come to her the week before, she knew it to be the case.

"I heard about you and Julia," Lily said, eyeing Regulus where he sat out the corner of her eye; "I'm sorry."

"Oh, well. That was inevitable," he cleared his throat; "As most things are."

Regulus sat forward, rather that turning away this time, so that she could only see the back of his head.

"She's leaving, did you know?"

He turned, slightly, meeting her eyes; "Oh?"

Lily nodded; "She got accepted onto one of the Advanced Fellowships at the Touchman Institute in New Zealand; starts in August."

Regulus gave a small nod, eyes on the step, before he got a smile; "That's great. Tell her…"

He trailed off.

Lily raised her eyebrows after a few seconds; "Tell her?"

Regulus met her eyes. Forced a smile and shook his head – "No," – as if just realizing she was there and what he was saying; "Don't tell her anything," he got a grin and put his hand on his chest; "I am happy for her. And I will express that happiness, with my silence."

"Regulus –"

"There's some Blood Magic progress in there too. I did try to approach your not-quite better half with that side of it," Regulus abruptly changed the subject, with a nod at the parchments; "I've come across some warnings about the consequences of malpractice; a severing of the blood lines at the point of misuse."

"Well that doesn't sound good," Lily said, with a frown, eyeing the scrolls.

"On the contrary, that may just be the answer," Regulus said, turning more to face her; "If we can severe the bloodline between myself and Malachi –" Lily met his eyes, sharply; "- then that would more than solve the problem. We could call down the ancestral lines, through me, and the curse of doing so would die with me rather than passing on to my son."

"Are you mad?" Lily shook her head; "You can't severe the blood line between you and Malachi; what would that even mean?"

"Nothing. It wouldn't mean anything," Regulus said, simply, with a shrug; "All it means is that Malachi's blood would no longer be recognized by the ancestors – and Black blood has been a curse on him rather than a blessing as it is – and he would be unable to call upon the line to engage in any ancestral performances or rituals in the future. Something that he would never do, anyway."

"But they wouldn't protect him, either, if he needed it."

"The only reason Malachi needs protection at all is because he is a Black."

The two of them stared at one another.

Regulus ducked his head – as if by speaking as such he'd revealed too much of himself – and glanced away; "It would take something quite ghastly to evoke a severance of the blood lines, I imagine. Or perhaps if I were to piss off the ancestors enough at my point of the line, they'd simply do it for me. Though, I imagine that might be somewhat difficult to do, as well." Then he got a smirk; "Then again, in my case, maybe not."

Lily met his eyes, giving him a grin; "I think you're underestimating yourself."

Regulus laughed.

"Well. It must be possible. According to these findings, it is something that has actually occurred. Do you mind taking a look? It'd put to rest our own stumbling block and finally get things moving, again, if we could do it."

"It wouldn't. Not for this. A sacrifice needs to be made, first, to enact – have you spoken to Severus about this?"

Regulus got a smirk, and he met her eyes, briefly, giving a nod; "Yes. We've had disagreements."

Lily gave a little chuckle, but it lacked any real humour.

"He's not going to just stand by and allow you to throw yourself to the snakes on a hunch, Regulus. We don't even know if the ancestral magic would work."

"It worked for Frank Longbottom."

"From pieced together information; no eyewitness accounts other than that of a baby boy in his cradle."

"We have an eyewitness account. The Dark Lord."

"If we were to find a way to do this –" she said it, making sure Regulus knew she was by no means on board; "We'd need Severus. I couldn't perform that kind of ritual."

Regulus nodded, knowing it were true.

"And he wouldn't," Lily said, with certainty; "Not unless we had information; foolproof, one hundred percent accurate information, that what you were about to do would actually work."

Regulus leaned back on his elbows; "It just so happens that I am in the process of gaining that information."

"From where? Who?"

"From someone who has absolutely no investment in my survival."

"Well, that's not ominous."

He got a smirk but did not elaborate.

Lily sighed, shaking her head; "Regulus, think about this. Really think about it. If this worked…you'd be leaving Malachi without his father."

Regulus' eyes lowered to the grass.

"Lily," he met her eyes, a rare moment of candor in them when he did; "As long as I am living, my son will never have a life. The Dark Lord is going to destroy him. That girl the Dark Lord killed; that was my doing. Malachi; he's never going to be able to be close to anyone. He's never going to be able to step out, to grow up, to find someone or something; as long as either I or the Dark Lord lives."

"So, we kill Voldemort," Lily said, fiercely. Not you.

"Yes. We kill him," Regulus nodded, in agreement, before he indicated at the parchments; "And, after years and years of searching, we have finally found one – perhaps the only – way of doing so."

"And it just so happens to elevate you to grand savior of the Wizarding World?" Lily raised an eyebrow.

Regulus snickered, meeting her eyes and shaking his head; "It has to be me. I'm the only pureblood."

"Severus thinks Dumbledore has a way."

"If Dumbledore had a way it'd be done. And since when do you trust Dumbledore?" Regulus eyed her, with a little twinkle in his eyes.

Lily gave him a smile; "So long as he can save the people that I care about from dying needless, heroically inspired deaths, I will follow him. As Severus insists."

She eyed the parchments about sentient horcruxes, and Blood Magic that Regulus had given her, reluctantly, before she nodded; "I'll look at them," she met his eyes, adding, warningly; "But I'm not promising anything."

Regulus gave her a smile, before he got to his feet.

"Alright. Are we going to do this, then?"

Lily got to her feet, glancing back at the house with a smile of her own, and nodded, and the two of them walked up to the door. Lily pressed her right hand upon it, holding out her left-hand which Regulus took in his, before he lifted his wand and spoke the incantation which would enact the Fidelius Charm.

It only took a minute, which was slightly longer than the last time, but it had been a few years since either of them had done this, and then Regulus let go of her hand, giving her a smile.

He leaned forward, raising an eyebrow:

"So. Where do I live?"

Lily's heart was heavy with the conversation for the rest of the day, barely even able to muster up a smile and the enthusiasm she usually did, while reading Grace her bedtime story when she tucked her in for the night.

"Goodnight, Sweetheart," she whispered, pressing a kiss to her sleeping daughter's forehead.

She been home only four days and, already, the heaviness of the war and the choices that would have to be made – more terrible choices – had made itself known.

She stepped into her room, opting to just go straight to bed – to sleep or to read the many feet of parchment that Regulus had given to her, she wasn't sure – and pulled her jumper over her head.

"Lily."

A hand upon her shoulder almost made her jump out of her skin with a shriek.

She turned, to find herself face to face with Severus.

Her eyes widened.

It took a moment – again – for her to be fully convinced that he was actually there and then she sighed and went into his arms.

Severus held her, tight, and she felt his lips press to her hair.

They drew back after a moment, their foreheads pressed together.

"I was wondering if you were ever going to make another appearance," Lily said, with a smile.

Severus' lips twitched; "I have been, somewhat, occupied. Though I have been here for some time."

She nodded, at the unspoken enquiry; "I was with Regulus. The Fidelius."

"Ah."

"I think you need to talk to him," Lily said, as she stepped over to sit on the bed. Severus followed, as she went on; "He has some…ideas, that he could probably do with your input on."

"I know what ideas he is having, Lily, and he can forget it. This is hardly the time for any of us to be going rogue and Regulus is far from thinking rationally right now. His head is in the clouds with his delusions of grandeur and I am not entertaining that."

"Oh, okay then," Lily said, eyeing him with a chuckle; "I'm sure he appreciates the support."

"He will get no support from me in his – literal – suicide mission," Severus said, taking a seat next to her; "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Lily assured him, with a smile; "Better for seeing you."

Severus took her hand, meeting her eyes.

"Regulus told me about the Trace."

Severus nodded.

"We need to get a handle on that," Lily said; "It could have been worse."

"It could still be worse," Severus corrected her; "The Dark Lord is well aware, now, that there is a traitor within his circle. That is not something that he is simply going to ignore. A trap will be set; for whom, remains to be seen."

Lily shook her head, closing her eyes, but she knew better than to ask any more – that Severus had revealed this much about what was going on within the circle was unusual, as it is – and she tugged him to lie down with her on the bed, resting her head upon his chest.

She felt the fingers of the arm he had around her training up and down her arm when he spoke; "Harry's occlumency is improving."

"It is?"

"Mhm. It would be best we continue the sessions over the course of the holidays. We do not want the progress made to become undone. Dumbledore oversaw the lessons throughout Easter –" Lily frowned but refrained from interrupting; "- but I may be able to find some time throughout the course of the summer to do so. In fact, I shall ensure it."

She lifted her head with a frown; "You want Harry to come back to Hogwarts over the summer?"

He shook his head; "That would draw too much suspicion. The Dark Lord would be more inclined to use his abilities to look into Harry's mind in those moments; and I do not know if my use of legillimency makes Harry more vulnerable to the Dark Lord's manipulations in those moments."

"You want to do the sessions here?"

Severus simply met her eyes.

Lily drew in a breath; "I assume you wouldn't want Grace to see you."

"That –" Severus cleared his throat; "That goes without saying. After…"

"Yes," she nodded, eyes on his shirt; "Well. Of course, it has to be done. Harry needs you."

And she certainly wasn't having Dumbledore anywhere near him, despite what she may have said to Regulus, earlier.

"We need to talk about Grace."

She met Severus' eyes at his statement.

"I am sorry, Lily."

"I know," Lily said, her voice quiet; "I am, too. We…we knew that this would happen. We shouldn't have walked so blindly into it. We knew what we were going to have to do."

"I think the reality of it may prove harder than what either of us had expected."

"It must have, you," Lily said, looking at him, closely; "Having her so close to you all those months."

"Something that mustn't happen again," Severus said, not revealing his own – obvious – pain at the fact; "I do not believe the Orion suppression is quite as effective as Obliviation. We have…connected. Despite our encounters, thus far, having been brief."

"What happened?"

Severus related to her the events of it, the last time the two of them had seen one another.

"It was a memory?"

"Yes. The very encounter – step by step – was one that has taken place between us once – likely many times, come to think of it – before. And that triggered a memory. Not enough that she knows that it is me; but she knows, now, that she has a father with whom she has a bond. And she can speak of him. Which is hardly favourable; considering she now has a connection with me and has known me by name."

"But if she is talking about her Daddy and Professor Snape as if they are two separate people –" Lily pointed out; "Who would think you were one and the same person?"

Severus gave a slight nod, of agreement, before he said; "She must never see me here."

Or again, the rest of his statement went unsaid.

Lily tightened her hold around his waist.

"What happened at New Year? With Harry?"

Severus drew in a breath.

"The Dark Lord used the mind link between them to send Harry a vision – a fabricated one – of Grace in danger. In order to lure him to the Foundation where he would entrap him. Regulus became caught up in it when I failed to ensure Harry had a guardian available to go to at the Castle should he need one."

Lily could easily pick up on the self-deprecation in his statement.

"It was Hogwarts. We've never had any reason to believe he wouldn't be safe there."

"Hm. Well. Unfortunately, it is beginning to be the case that he – and Malachi and Grace – are not safe, anywhere. Each of the places the recent incidents have taken place have been in places of safety; the Castle, the Foundation, Crail."

Lily turned her head into his neck, as the truth of it sunk in. That they were never safe; that they were failing, despite their best efforts, to protect their children from the war and all that that meant for them. It was just as Regulus had warned her about the year before; their children, they were seeing it all, now – the darkness that they had tried to shield them from – with their very own eyes.

They would know it.

Lily swallowed, tightening her hold on him.

"Stay tonight," she whispered.

Needing him.

Severus shifted, beneath her; "I should not. Grace –"

"We can lock the door."

The two of them lay there, still and silent, for a moment, as Severus contemplated the request.

And then she felt him shift again, tugging out his wand, and the door to the bedroom clicked in a locking charm.

He put his wand on the bedside table and turned so that the two of them now faced on another.

Lily gave him a small smile, as he reached up a hand to touch her cheek, stroke her hair, and he made to speak – to continue their talk – but then, he didn't. Opting not to.

Instead, his hand slipped down to the nape of her neck and he drew her to him, kissing her deeply as he pressed in close.

It had been so long – far too long – since they had been together this way that her body stirred, immediately, at the feel of him against her and she sighed, sliding her hands up his chest, pressing in closer.

Severus groaned at her deliberate motion, captured by her kiss, and she giggled, quietly, and reached up to his shoulder, giving him a push and she went with him, straddling his waist, as he looked up at her.

His gaze hid nothing about the way he felt for her when he did: eyes dark with love and devotion and desire.

And her heart beat faster in her chest at that look, alone, and she unbuttoned the first few buttons of her shirt, before pulling it up and over her head.

Severus' lips were upon her neck, her collarbone, her chest before she'd even turned back to him, her hands going into his hair.

And the silence of the room was quickly filled with their soft sighs and moans, the gasps and the whimpers of each of them as they rolled and shuddered in one another's arms as they took their time, slowly, teasingly coming together for the first time in so long.

More than once, their hands reached for one another, as the night went on.

Until, before the sun could rise, Severus slipped from the room and the house.

Leaving her asleep in the bed, with her smile on her lips and a contentedness in her expression.

Waking, a few hours later, without him, once more.