Cloud is holding my hand, that's the first thing I remember.

He holds my hand, and presses his lips against my knuckles.

His lips brush against something hard and unforgiving on my finger.

I cry out out to him as rushes into the fire.

"It's okay," I hear him whisper. "I'm here," even though he's already gone.

xxx

Denzel follows me into the bar, pulling at my skirt. Marlene is towed behind him in his wake. I turn, sighing, exasperated.

"What?" I breathe out with a sigh.

"They asked us about what to do for a show and tell," Marlene blurts out. Denzel stands beside me holding a high ball. I snatch the glass out of his hand and try to grin evenly, "Why don't we show each other how much we mean to each other with finger paint?" I ask.

Marlene grins, "Can we use macaroni too?"

I grimace, suppressing a smile, "Of course."

We stir the paints together, Denzel smiling about combining yellow and blue, stretching colors together. I smile when Denzel presses himself into me, presses himself into a hug and acceptance. I smile, pressing his forehead against mine.

I try to believe that we are safe. I know that there are people out there who judge us, and hold us accountable for the things that happened in the past. I try to ignore them.

We haven't seen Cloud in months, but I try to distract Denzel and Marlene from that. We either focus on their homework or I try to find some kind of distraction like an art project for them.

Denzel is always willing to express himself with paint. Marlene is always hesitant. It's interesting and worrisome to see the different kind of affects that time has on them. We tie ourselves together, figuring out what kind of experiences they should share with the class. I know Denzel and Marlene forfeit some of their memories for the sake of a good grade or a lot of recognition.

I serve the same customers, over and over. They always order the same thing, either a couple beers or a few mixed drinks. I stand behind the bar, hoping for something more. I boil the water for the green tea, and hope for the best for the customers that pretend it means something.

I hope for the days that Cloud will appear, his face marred with mud and dirt but determined and unchanging.

But Cloud never appears.

We sit together, laughing as we roast marshmallows over the fireplace. Yuffie is with us, her tinkling laugh pressing us into happiness. She tells us about Cid and Shera, and about Reno and Elena. We all gather around her, hoping for something beyond us. I giggle with her and try to ignore the stabbing absence of Cloud. Cloud is always running, and I always feel like I'm running. I always wish that I'm running, it seems easier to find him this way, just something beyond what we thought life would be. We always thought life would be easy after all of our struggles. I guess to imagine life as easy to stupid in the first place.

I find myself drinking myself into a stupor, which isn't surprising. I wake up, pressing my face into the pillow. I wake up, smelling the smoke. I grasp against the wall of the building, trying to find the opening of the doorway to the hall. I stumble into the hall, the world a smudge of gray. I'm trying to feel my way to the door of the children's door. They're holding me back, they're eyes closed.

I stumble out onto the street, gasping for air. I know I have to dive back in to find the children.

But suddenly there's a hand on my shoulder, holding me back. I reach out towards him, feeling his shoulder. It makes me questionable.

"I will marry you when we make our way out of this," he whispers, and presses his lips against my knuckles.

I lie on the bricks, watching Seventh Heaven go up in flames, not knowing what to make of the man. I can't catch my breath; someone presses an oxygen mask onto my face. Now he wants to express his love when we have no other option?

He comes stumbling out of the burning building, Marlene over one shoulder, and Denzel over the other.

I rip the oxygen mask off my face, and run up to them as the paramedics take the children away. One plucks Marlene off his shoulder, the other takes Denzel. Cloud stumbles, his breath catching as I reach him.

"You gave me this," I cry, "It won't melt... Is that why you ran in?"

He smiles, pressing his forehead against mine. The paramedics are moving in, but Cloud grabs my hand.

"It's okay, I'm here," he coughs. "I will marry you when we make our way out of this."

I follow him into the ambulance. I press my hand into his as he tries to figure out where to go with the paramedics pressing medication into his blood stream. I try to make materia work but for some reason he can't accept it. He doesn't wake, but he rubs his fingers across the rock on my ring he gave me. I press my forehead into his.

"I will always love you, no matter what."

He squeezes my hand in his sleep.

And he doesn't wake.

Chapter 35 - Verona Sage, Proposal