Chapter 23
Ragnthor
It took them the whole of the 3 weeks to get back to the farm. Lydia was just too weak to go any faster than they did. Ragnthor was growing worried by the end, watching the food supplies slowly dwindle.
Each night Ragnthor would dig down into the snow and make a cave for them to sleep in. After dinner he would bundle Lydia up with furs heated near the fire and carry her into the cave where he would spend the night holding her.
And this was the pattern until the snow got too shallow make a snow cave. After that he would set a tent and cover as much of it with snow as he could.
They didn't talk much during the night, the days travel exhausting Lydia and Ragnthor wanting her to get as much rest as possible, still worried that he may have doomed her by moving so soon.
On the evening of the 21st day, they had the house in sight. As Ragnthor was turning to walk down the lane, Ghardh stopped. He looked up and saw Lydia looking down the lane with a look a fierce determination.
"Ragnthor, can you help me off? I want to walk to the house."
He sent a worried look at her and she nodded. He reached up and grabbed her waist and lifted her from the saddle. A sorry mixture of feeling flashed through him, sorrow, worry and anger ranking highest, as he was reminded once again of how light she was. He was honestly scared if his held on too tight she would snap.
As he set her down she stood there for a while, taking off a few of the outer layers of coats. Then she took a few, strained, wobbling steps through snow up to her calves. She grabbed on to the fence and stood there shaking and breathing heavily.
Ragnthor stood there for a moment, watching her, wondering if he should help her. Just as he was moving to take her arm, she stood straight and, taking staggering steps and keeping her hand on the fence, started down the quarter mile lane.
Ragnthor followed closely behind her leading Ghardh, ready to catch her if she started to fall. She made it half way before she stopped and leaned her back against the fence.
She looked back at him. "You don't have to walk with me. I know I'm going slow."
Ragnthor smiled and wrapped his arm around her. "I want nothing more than to be by your side."
She smiled up at him and turned around so she was facing the field. At that moment Ghardh whinnied and the herd came over to the far side of the stone fenced field.
Ragnthor looked down at her and saw she was utterly entranced by the sight of horses running, kicking a wave of snow around them.
She smiled up at him. "So this was the surprise you and Lucia had for me? I must say it is a sight to behold."
Ragnthor leaned down next to her. "And you will have your choice of any one of them. Apart from the old paint mare with the yellow foal by her side. Well I say foal but I really need to get all the foals separated from their mothers, maybe I can get Mountain or Jon to help before they leave. But anyway, I think Lucia has made a pretty strong claim on her." Lydia nodded then started to shiver.
Ragnthor grabbed her arm and started leading her to Ghardh when he felt resistance. He saw Lydia glare at him with a look of impossibly stubborn determination.
"No."
Ragnthor gave her and exasperated looked. "Please Lydia, I don't want you to freeze."
She shook her head. "No. I refuse to be carried into my house."
Ragnthor relented, knowing it would lead to a long fight that he would lose anyway. "Do as you wish but hurry. Please."She nodded and started walked down the lane.
It took 30 minutes to reach the end of the lane. Lydia leaned against the fence while Ragnthor pulled the saddle off of Ghardh and brushed him down before turning him loose in the field. He watched him run to the food then turned back to Lydia.
Lydia nodded and let go of the fence. She made it 5 steps before she stopped. She stood there, wobbling and wiping her face as he walked toward her. When he got there she looked up at him, shame filling her face.
"Ragnthor, please help me. I just can't take another step."
Ragnthor nodded, took her arm and together they started to walk to the house. It didn't take them long to reach the door. They stopped on the doorstep. As Ragnthor was about to open the door, Lydia grabbed his hand and pulled softly, though he knew she was using all he strength.
He looked at her and saw she had her head bowed. "Do we have to go in? We could just leave. You have your sword and strength. You have wandered the land before. We could saddle Ghardh and Ahearn and just keep going south to your friend's ranch. Maybe even leave the Empire and go to Hammerfell. Or just wander until we are too old to swing a sword."
Ragnthor nodded. "We could." He smiled as he saw her give a start. "We could wander the rest of our lives, but it's hard. Unless you can sign on with a good group like Mountain's, even with how good we are with a sword, we would be hungry more often than not. Is that the kind of life you want? I gave it up because I was tired of not knowing where my next meal was coming from. Not that that has really changed much it seems."
She looked up at him with eyes that bordered on pleading. "What about working for your friend or in a city? You are a fine enough smith to make a decent living."
Ragnthor nodded, rubbing his chin. "I'm sure in 4 or so months we could make it to Waynek's ranch, provided the passes aren't snowed and I bet I could work with him long enough to get the ranch. In the same time we could make it to the beaches of Hammerfell. And I bet I could make enough smithing to put food in our stomachs and a roof over our head. But it wouldn't be home."
He gestured around him. "This is home. I have spent 8 years of my life trying to get back." His face grew dark and serious. "And I have responsibilities here. Do you think the dragons will stop coming if I just leave. No, they will burn the world to suit them. What about the people how trust on me to listen when Balgruuf can't? Should I have left Carlotta to suffer with Mikael? I kept my ear to the ground after I stopped him and drove him out of town. He was planning…nasty things for her. But this is something that the Jarl would only deal with after the fact." He saw a flash of understanding in her eyes before she dropped her head.
He put his hand on her face and, as softly as he possibly could, lifted her face. "Why is it you want to leave, Lydia? It's not like you to just leave without reason."
He saw tears form as she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. "Because I…because I failed you in my duty as Housecarl and by now the whole of the hold will know of it. When the Jarl hears I'm back he will release me from his service and give you someone else. I would be disgraced and you would…you would…" She fell into him and cried, her knees starting to shake.
He put a hand under her chin and lifted her face. As she looked up at him, he kissed her. It was soft, gentle and he poured his heart and all his feelings into it. When he broke off she was breathless. He smiled as he wiped the tears off her face.
"I'm would never leave because of that. I don't care if they took you to burn as a witch. I would cut through as many people as I needed to then we would wander the land with Lucia."
He grabbed her hand and put it on his chest. "This is yours, Lydia, and it has been for damn nigh 2 decades. Ever since that day I followed you out of town to the river. And it has lasted strong through 8 years of wandering."
Realization dawned across her face as he continued. "And I know you Lydia. Even though we have been apart for the better part of a decade come this spring, you really haven't changed that much from that little girl who didn't want the world to see her cry. I have kept your honor intact by giving up my own. For 6 months I have lied to everyone I have met about where you were, I told them I had given you leave, and I will continue to do so every time I see them until you are ready."
She looked shocked and opened her mouth to reply when her knees gave out. Ragnthor pulled her back on her feet and grabbed the door.
"Now let's go in and get warm. And see Lucia. She missed you some much while you were away. And I am starting to get cold." Lydia gave a small nod and he opened the door.
When they got inside, Ragnthor saw Mountain and Eilonwy sitting at the table, staring at the fire. As soon as he shut the door they looked toward them. Eilonwy's eyes light up and she ran toward Lydia. Ragnthor managed to get between her and Lydia in time to stop her from bowling Lydia over.
Eilonwy glared at him. He gave her a telling glance and her eyes softened and she gently hugged Lydia. Ragnthor watcher her eyes grow wide as she felt how thin Lydia was.
Lydia was smiling when they broke apart. "It's great to see you. Where is everybody else?"
Mountain stood and walked over. "They went to Hammerfell. They wanted to get out of the cold and I don't blame them."
Eilonwy nodded. "Lydia, let's go sit by the fire, you must be cold."
As they want to the fire, Ragnthor and Mountain walked to the back of the house. When they got there, Mountain looked back at the fire and saw Lydia without the coats on. He let out a shocked burst of air.
"Damn, she doesn't look like she would last more than a day without food. Was she this bad when you found her?"
Ragnthor shook his head. "No, she was worse. She told me she hadn't eaten in 6 days and had lived on short rations and leather before that. A long cold winter mixed with Thalmor attacks, she was done. And if I didn't have to, I wouldn't have moved her. I was scared that every moment could be her last. I owe you more than I could ever pay. Name your price, anything, and I will see that you get it."
Mountain just held out his hand. "Just promise that you will do everything in your power to keep her out of this situation ever again. Next time she might die in some forgotten hole in the wall."
Ragnthor shook. "That's one thing I already promised to myself."
Mountain nodded. "Well then, I guess it's time for us to leave. Between you and me it's time to settle down. Someplace down in Cyrodiil."
Ragnthor nodded. "Well feel free to stop back in anytime. After what you have done for us, we would be happy to have you." They shook hands and walked back to the fire.
They sat talking for a while then Mountain excused himself and Eilonwy. Ragnthor saw something, mostly like shame, flash across Lydia's face as she tried to stand and fail. Instead she smiled and held out her hand. Eilonwy pulled her into a hug and Mountain shook her hand.
"Feel free to stop by any time."
Mountain nodded. "We will take you up on that. And when we finally get settled somewhere, come down and stay awhile." Lydia nodded.
Ragnthor walked them to the door where they shook hands. He stood there watching as they walked off into the dark.
Ragnthor turned and walked into Lucia's room where he saw Ves watching over her sleeping form. Ragnthor motioned for her to follow him out of the room.
"Ves, you are free to spend the night but you are free to go. I don't think I will be leaving again for a while and where I do go I can take Lucia."
She nodded and picked up her bag. "It has been an honor to serve. Keep her safe." Ragnthor nodded as Ves walked out the door.
Ragnthor walked back to the fire and saw Lydia still sitting there, barely able to keep her eyes open. He smiled as her picked her up and carried her to her bed. He pulled the covers up tight around her. As he was walking out the door he heard a soft, tired voice.
"Could you stay, please?"
He nodded as he walked back and kissed her brow. "Of course, my little one. Just let me throw some more wood on the fire." She nodded and he left.
Ragnthor brought in 2 arms loads of wood and threw them on the fire. He sat there for a moment, making sure the fire was burning well and thinking back over the last few months.
Next to nothing had gone right. Lydia had left and he had completely devoted himself to his quest. He had killed more guards men than a man ever should. He hadn't been home for any time long enough to harvest anything. All of it, the grain, potatoes, even the corn, was rotting under 4 or 5 feet of snow. He would have to start from scratch again next year. He had managed to get one crop of hay cut so the horses wouldn't starve.
Honestly the only thing that had gone right was finding Lydia, and even then it was only through sheer luck that he had made it in time.
He shook his head, clearing the dark thoughts from his mind. He stood and walked into Lydia's room. She was fast asleep. He stood there, watching her peaceful form, wondering whether or not he should sleep next to her and maybe wake her up or sleep in his own bed.
He shook his head, knowing that she might kill herself with worry if she woke up and he wasn't there.
He slipped off his shoes and softly rolled down the covers and gently slid in beside her. Still fast asleep, she turned and wrapped her arms around him. He smiled as he put his arms around her and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning he woke with the sun. As he laid there with his eyes closed, enjoying the peace, his arm found Lydia. He looked over at her and smiled.
She lay facing him with her mouth slightly open. Her hair was all rumpled and a thick strand curled over her face and rested in the corner of her mouth. He brushed it away and smoothed it back. Then he just lay there on his back, looking up at the ceiling and softly playing with her hair. Lydia woke up not much longer after.
She blinked as her eyes opened. "Ragnthor?"
He smiled and stroked her cheek. "Aye, I'm here Lydia."
She smiled and stretched. "Did you make a fire and breakfast?"
Ragnthor shook his head. "No, I was enjoying the peace here with you. Once Lucia wakes there is likely to be little of it."
Lydia laughed. "That is true."
She gave him a shove. "Now get out of here and make breakfast so I can get dressed."
Ragnthor gave a mock sigh. "Ok, ok. I can tell when I'm not wanted."
Lydia gave him a kiss. "I'm hungry."
Ragnthor slipped out of bed and gave a bow. "Your wish is my command." She threw a pillow at him as he closed the door.
An hour later he had the fire going and breakfast almost done. Ragnthor stood and whistled. It was closely followed by a scream and happy laughter. Soon Lucia was walking out with Slasher bouncing around her.
She ran over to Ragnthor and hugged him. "You're back! When did you get back? And why were you gone?"
Ragnthor rubbed her head and smiled. "One question at a time, little lass. I got back late last night. You were still asleep so I let you stay that way. And as to why I was gone…" he turned and looked at Lydia's door. "If Its Ready, I will show you."
The door opened and Lydia walked out wearing simple, warm clothes. Lucia screamed and ran over to her. She slammed into Lydia so hard it knock her into the wall. Ragnthor took a hurried step forward, worried when he heard the air forced out. Lucia stepped back worried too.
"I'm sorry. Are you hurt?"
Lydia coughed and hugged Lucia. "No Lucia, I'm fine. You just might have to be a little softer with me for a while."
Lucia nodded and Ragnthor called her over to the table. As Lucia sat down he walked over to Lydia and helped her walk to the table.
He whispered "Are you ok." Lydia nodded as she rubbed her ribs.
After they finished eating breakfast, Ragnthor turned to Lucia. "So, did you learn anything while I was away?"
Lucia nodded and pulled out her sword. "Yeah! Mountain taught me some more things about sword fighting."
Ragnthor nodded as he drew his practice sword from above the mantle. "Show me."
Lucia charge and him and attacked with a flurry of blows and feints, some he saw through instantly, others had more grace. What surprised him was how quick and deftly she directed the fight. It was clear she was new because most of her traps were rough and he saw them coming. But a few required him to fight his way out of and return in kind. After 10 or so minutes, he locked cross guards, signaling the end of the fight.
"Well done, Lucia. You are quickly becoming better than me with a one handed sword. Soon it will just be practice to keep you sharp."
As he turned he saw Lydia struggle to her feet. She walked over and grabbed his sword, her arm dropping as it took the weight. He looked down at her and she nodded.
"Not so fast. You may be a battle master, but I am expert with this kind of fighting." Lydia held the sword with both hands and Lucia swung.
Ragnthor watched they exchanged a flurry of blows. Suddenly Lydia's shoulders sagged and Ragnthor started walking over. That's when he saw Lydia make a last desperate play. As Lucia confidently swung, Lydia grabbed her blade with one hand and shoved Lucia's blade away. Then she, almost staggering over her feet, darted and froze, the pommel of her sword in front of Lucia's face. Lydia smiled as Lucia lowered her sword to the ground.
She spoke, breathing heavy. "There is more…than one way…to beat…an opponent. Fighting isn't always…slash slash, stab stab… there are plenty of non lethal ways to stop your foe."
Lucia nodded and looked excited. "Can we go again?"
Lydia shook her head. "Not now, I'm too tired to go again."
She sort of stumbled over to him and handed him the sword. He grabbed her shoulder and looked down at her. She nodded and softly pushed his arm away. Ragnthor put the sword back over the mantle and called out to Lucia.
"Go put your coat and hat on little lass. We have some things to down with the horses." Lucia nodded and tore off to her room.
Ragnthor grabbed his coat from by the door and sat down next to Lydia. "Are you sure you're fine?"
Lydia nodded as she laid her head on him. "Yes. I'm just so weak."
Ragnthor put his hand on her shoulder and gently rubbed the base of her neck with his thumb. "You're not weak Lydia. You only feel that way because you have lost your strength."
He softly twisted her face toward him and kissed her. "And I would wager you will have that back inside of 6 months." He smiled down at her. "You were never one to sit still, my stubborn little one."
Her face flashed with mirth as she shoved him. "Why you…"
Suddenly Lucia came out and he stood. "Now if you will excuse me, dear lady, I have work to do."
She smiled and nodded and Ragnthor motioned for Lucia to follow him outside. As they walked toward the field Ragnthor took in the sight. The sun was just peeking over the mountains and shining off the snow. He smiled and he looked around, feeling all was right with the world.
He turned to Lucia. "So have you been working with the foals?"
She looked up at him, smiling and nodding. "They all lead pretty good now."
Ragnthor nodded. "That's good. We need to wean them. Normally you should put more distance between mother and foal but I do not have the space. So we are putting them in the stable for the next few months." Lucia nodded and they got to work.
It was evening before Ragnthor came in. Lucia had come in hours ago. He was hoping to get warm by the fire. Instead he met a fire of a completely different kind. Lydia was waiting for him in the same spot she had been sitting earlier.
He cursed himself as he saw the tears on her face. "Where the hell have you been? I was scared you had decided to leave and not to take me."
Ragnthor sat down across from her, being smart enough not to risk the fury of a lioness, even a weak one. "I had an urgent message from the Jarl. Now I know I should have told you but it was urgent in the worse way." Fear had flooded his face by the time he finished.
Lydia was shocked. "What's wrong?"
Ragnthor took her hands. "How much do you know of the creatures of the night? The ones parents use to scare the children?"
Lydia looked him in the eyes. "More than you would think."
Ragnthor nodded. "I should have known you would know. But in addition to doing jobs the guards won't do, the Companion's also keep our hold safe from the other creatures that stalk the shadows. They have informed Balgruuf that there is a feral wolf in the hold. They warned all other the outer farmer and village leaders to keep the doors shut tight while the Companion's hunt."
Lydia's face grew pale. "What are we going to do?" Fear suddenly flooded her face and she grabbed his hands with more strength than he though she had. "You're not going to join them on the hunt, are you?"
Ragnthor shook his head. "No Lydia. Will I kill it if I see it, yes, because if I see it, it's hunting me. But will I hunt one, never again."
Lydia's eye grew wide. "You have hunted them before."
Ragnthor nodded. "Once, when I was in the Black Marsh. It had wandered from Cyrodiil and found a liking deep in the marches. It's easy to hunt a deer and easier to bait a wolf but going after something with unnatural strength and a near human mind…" Ragnthor shook his head "I was young and willing to test my sword against anything I could find. I underestimated it. It lured me deeper than I should have ever gone into the swamps. I managed to kill it but wandered for 3 days until I came across a village with a priest. Some of the scars that you wouldn't recognize are from that hunt."
He shook his head, trying to stop himself from reliving the memory. "I will leave the hunting to the hunters this time. I have had more than my fair share of brushes with death from unnatural things. But we will stay in my room until they kill it. Do you think you can climb the stairs while I grab Lucia?" Lydia nodded and he walked to Lucia's room.
As he picked her up she half woke. 'Where are we going?"
He faked a smile. "Nowhere far, just go back to sleep."
Lucia nodded and yawned, quickly falling back asleep. Ragnthor whistled softly for Slasher then climbed up the stairs. Lydia was already in his room when he got there. He motioned for her to get in the bed then laid Lucia down beside her. As Lydia slid over to make room he shook his head and went to the closest. He pulled out a piece of deer hide and unwrapped a shiny, silver dagger. Lydia's eyes grew wide as she saw it.
She whispered as angrily as she could. "What is that for? I thought you weren't going to fight."
He walked over and kissed her brow. "I'm not, but if it gets in I will stop it before it reaches you. Now get some sleep."
She looked up at him, worried. "What about you?"
Ragnthor gave a half smile. "I don't need as much sleep as you. You need to recover your strength. Besides, I won't be able to sleep knowing it could be right outside. Now you should close your eyes, before the howling starts." Lydia nodded and closed her eyes.
Ragnthor crossed his legs and sat down in front of the door. He bowed his head and entered a half slumber.
A few hours later Slasher growled and he was instantly wake. Seconds later there was a howl right outside the window followed by more of the different tone. Suddenly the howling changed to roaring and he heard bodies slam together. He looked over and saw both Lydia and Lucia sitting upright, fear in their eyes. Ragnthor sat on the bed and held them, listening to sounds outside. Soon there was silence.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. As Ragnthor stood, Lydia grabbed his arm and shook her head. "What if that's it?"
Ragnthor looked down at her, not hiding how he felt. "Well then it will be weakened by its fight and I have a better chance."
As he walked down the stairs he shifted the dagger to his left hand. He opened the door and saw a woman standing there, covered in scratches and blood.
She looked up at him. "So you are the Thane. Kodlak said you were big, even bigger than Farkas. But words put you to shame."
She walked around him, dragging her hand across his body and sniffing. "You are strong, Thane, and smell fierce, like you wanted to join the hunt." She stopped in front of him. "Would you like to?"
He grabbed her hand and removed it from his arm. "I know what you are, wolf. I respect your quest for honor and glory but have no wish to sell my soul to a Daedra and join you."
She pressed close against him, stroking his arm. "Rumor says that you changed Lydia with your love, made her happy while you were there and broke her when you left. I would like to…"her fingers walked up his arm, "try it myself."
Ragnthor's temper flared and he was pushing her away when he heard a voice. "Leave him, Aela, he's mine." They both turned and saw Lydia walking down the stairs.
Soon she was standing next to Ragnthor. He put his arm around her and saw her glare at Aela. Aela stood a few inches taller than Lydia but she took a step back under her glaze.
She shook her head and smiled. "So you are back in the hold, I'm sure the Jarl will be glad to know."
As she turned to leave Ragnthor slammed her against the wall and stuck the dagger under her throat. Aela grinned as her features started to change and he pressed the dagger harder, pricking her skin. She stopped with a shocked expression.
"You have known where she was the whole time, haven't you, and you lied to everyone you have met. Where is your honor?"
Ragnthor pushed her against the wall harder. "My honor, whatever is left, is intertwined with hers. I refuse to let my loves honor be lessened because of me."
Aela's face change to an expression he didn't know. Lydia put her hand on his arm and he released her. Aela fell to the floor, taking ragged breaths.
She rubbed her throat, red from contact with silver. "You have had truly had a torch burning for her for a decade, haven't you? And you managed to relight the fire."
Ragnthor pulled Lydia close and Aela smiled. "Do not worry, Thane and Dragonborn, you secret is safe with me." She opened the door and walked out into the night.
As soon as the door was shut Lydia sagged. Ragnthor looked at her worried.
"Are you ok?"
She nodded. "Just tired. Can we go to sleep now, in my room?"
Ragnthor nodded and they slipped under the covers where he held her until she had fallen asleep.
Author's note: I added this last little bit because I noticed a lack of the supernatural in my Skyrim. And apparently I had forgotten how much free time I will have so chapters might come even faster than before. Well I hope you enjoyed me staggering through another chapter. Good Reading.