Fifty Shades of Grey Hair II

by American Chimpanzee

Like Grey Hair I, these stories are based on classic jokes like this bad driver joke by Will Rogers: "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."

19. The Wok

Growing old is no fun, let me tell you.

The physical changes in your body are enough to make you plotz or pass gas, but my dear Christian, he loves me just as much as the day we were wed. He loves me not for who I was, but for who I've become. Osteoporosis and all.

But this is a story about Kate. My dearest, bestest, oldest friend in the whole world. She also suffers from the indignity of osteoporosis. Maybe even worse... but you didn't hear that from me. Quasimodo laughs at her poor posture.

Just the other day, I was visiting her. Her maid had the day off, so I saw her going here and there, doing this and that, giving tit for tat.

"Nice tattoo," I told her as her personal tattoo artist was leaving.

I couldn't help but notice that she was searching through her kitchen cabinets for a wok.

"In the mood for some Chinese food?" I asked her.

"No," she told me. "I just need to iron my blouse."