Fifty Shades of Grey Hair II

by American Chimpanzee

Like Grey Hair I, these stories are based on classic jokes like this bad driver joke by Will Rogers: "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."

26. Bless Her Heart

Growing old, my friends, is not for sissies.

When I first met my beloved Christian my skin was flawless, like a porcelain doll's.

Now it looks like MapQuest.

"What's the matter, my love?" Christian asks me softly, seeing me studying my face in the mirror.

I give him a sad smile.

"My mother, bless her heart, once gave me some advice," I tell him. "She said, 'Ana,' because that's what she called me, 'Ana, don't EVER grow old."

I pause, and Christian gently takes my hand.

"I should have listened to her," I say.