Hello again! I hope you guys are having a lovely Sunday.
Some people were a little bummed after yesterday's update. Well, most of you have been a little bummed since the first chapter, I guess. I understand that this is kind of a heavy story, and it won't be everyone's cup of tea. I appreciate those sticking around despite how much it might hurt, and I also appreciate those who want to read but know it's not for them. I want you all to know that I get it.
Thanks to the amazing, the one, the only Christine, my favorite beta. She warned me about what people might feel about this story long before I started posting it. She's wise, and I love her for it.
Alright, that's enough from me. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
It was late already when a knock on the door startled Kurt awake. He had fallen asleep on the chair, his computer's screen had gone black from the inactivity, and the only sound was the beeping on his father's machines. He looked up just in time to see Nick walk into the room, still in his suit, which meant he came straight from the office.
"What time is it?" Kurt asked sleepily. His neck was stiff and his back hurt. He stood up and tried to stretch but it only made more pain flare all over his body.
"Almost midnight," Nick replied, guiltily. "I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier. It was..."
"A crazy day at the office, I know," Kurt completed the sentence for him. "You should have gone straight home. It's late."
"I wanted to see how you're doing," Nick said, in a quiet voice, as if afraid he would wake Burt up, which was just insane to Kurt. If loud voices could wake a comatose man, Kurt would have screamed himself hoarse already. "You look very tired."
"Hospitals aren't exactly five star hotels," Kurt retorted. He shut his computer and put it away.
Nick took a seat on the spare chair by the window and asked: "Have you eaten anything?"
Kurt nodded, though the sandwich he'd had with Blaine felt a million years ago. His stomach rumbled as if calling him a liar and Nick arched an eyebrow. "I had a sandwich, but it's been hours. I haven't gone down to the cafeteria again since then."
Nick bit his lip. "Look, Kurt, I know you don't want to leave him alone, but you can't just stay here permanently. He could wake up tonight or in two weeks. He will need you when he does, and you can't be completely exhausted when that happens."
Kurt wasn't stupid. He knew his boyfriend was right, but the idea of being away from his father made him feel sick. What if he woke up in the middle of the night and no one was there to hold his hand? What if Kurt arrived in the morning and found the room empty?
"I'm not saying you should go home every day if you don't want to, but at least every other night?" Nick said, standing up and walking to Kurt. He placed his hands on Kurt's shoulders. "Get some rest on a real bed, a nice warm shower and a proper meal. That's all."
Kurt stepped right into Nick's arms, rested his cheek on his shoulder and his hands on his chest. He wanted to fight him on this, insist he could do it, he could stay here, that he didn't need any rest – all he needed was his dad. But he was too tired to argue, so when Nick started picking up his things, he didn't complain, and when he guided him out of the room and into the elevator, he followed. As Nick hailed a cab, he thought he should have kissed his dad goodnight, squeeze his hand, anything. He was about to turn back around when a cab stopped in front of them and Nick helped him into the backseat.
He could have fallen asleep right away, as the car steered into the neverending New York City traffic. He turned to say something to Nick, but he was answering texts on his phone and didn't even look back at him. Kurt watched him, crowned by the passing street lights, and found him just as gorgeous as he had the first time he met him. But there was something else now, something that hadn't been there just a couple of weeks ago. A distance, a glass wall, a boundary. How long had it been there? Was it really sudden? Or had Kurt been just as busy with his own life before his father's heart attack forced him to stop and look around?
Their apartment seemed strange to him when they arrived. It felt like he hadn't been here in years, when it hadn't been two whole days yet. He dropped his bag on the couch and headed straight for the bathroom. He took his clothes off, let them pool on the floor at his feet, and stepped into the shower. The water was almost scalding at first, but it felt fantastic on his sore muscles, so he simply stayed there until it began to cool.
After showering, Kurt walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Nick was now on the couch, surrounded by case files and wearing his pajamas.
"There's a frozen pizza in the oven," Nick announced when he saw him.
So much for a proper meal, Kurt thought to himself. "Okay, I'll go get dressed and then we can eat."
"I already had dinner at the office earlier," Nick replied. "But you go ahead."
Kurt stood there for a few seconds, looking at him, but Nick was too engrossed in his work to notice, so he went into the bedroom and grabbed his pajamas and some underwear from the dresser. Barefoot, Kurt wandered back towards the kitchen, where he sat alone at the table, eating pizza with his hands – something he wouldn't usually condone, but he was too tired to even search for plates.
He put the leftovers in the fridge and, on his way to the bedroom, paused behind the couch. "Are you coming?"
"In a minute, I need to finish something," Nick said, and Kurt left without another word.
He had no idea how long he laid in bed, in the darkness, staring at nothing. He was exhausted beyond words but his brain wouldn't shut up – what if his father needed him, what if someone from the hospital called, why was Nick so distant, why wasn't his father waking up – and falling asleep felt impossible.
Nick tip-toed into the bedroom much later, careful not to wake him, and slipped into bed next to him, leaving a space between their bodies. Part of Kurt wanted to roll closer to his boyfriend and get the comfort he craved from his embrace, but the rest of him felt like that was just as difficult as falling asleep.
Had Nick waited until he was sure Kurt would be asleep before joining him in bed?
Unable to stay still for another second, Kurt kicked the blankets off himself and sat up. Nick turned the light on, startled, and looked at him in surprise.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" He said, but Kurt shook his head and got up. "Where are you going?"
"To get some water," Kurt lied, and left his boyfriend alone in their bed to go sit alone at the kitchen table.
He should have never left the hospital.
When Nick's alarm went off the next morning, Kurt was about to leave the apartment. Nick stopped at the kitchen counter, blinking in confusion and sleepily regarding the multiple containers with blueberry muffins.
"Were you... stress baking all night?" Nick asked as he yawned.
Kurt only nodded as he put a couple of the containers into a tote bag. "Take some to work, if you want. I made coffee, too."
"Kurt, the whole point of you coming home was so you could rest," Nick said, as he moved towards the coffee pot.
Kurt was even more exhausted than when he arrived at the apartment the previous night, and reaching a breaking point. "Like you even care."
"Excuse me?" Nick retorted, eyebrows lifting to his hairline in surprise and confusion.
"Is everything okay, Nick?" Kurt asked brusquely, standing straight and looking right at him. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"
Nick deflated, crossed the kitchen and planted a kiss on Kurt's temple. "You're tired."
It was obvious he wasn't about to get an honest conversation out of him. Kurt sighed. He didn't have time for this, not right now. So he pushed it to the back of his mind, grabbed his bags and a travel mug, and headed for the door.
"Have a nice day at work," he said, a bit more sharply than he intended.
Nick didn't even have time to reply before Kurt closed the door behind himself.
Kurt had no patience and no energy this morning to take the subway and brave the rest of Manhattan, so he hailed a cab and rested his head against the window during the ride. The traffic wasn't as bad as it would be in about an hour – most of New York City's businessmen and women were still on their first cups of coffee at home.
The hospital, however, didn't run in the same schedule, and it was already busy with the coming and goings of the patients and the staff. Kurt went up to his father's room immediately, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he tried to convince himself that if there had been any bad news, or any news at all, someone would have called him to let him now.
And sure enough, when he opened the door, he found Burt just as he had left him the previous day. Kurt didn't feel relief, or disappointment. It was a strange mixture of both – he was still here, but he still hadn't woken up. Part of him had hoped to push the door open and find his dad smiling at him.
He set his things down and headed straight towards the bed. "Hey dad," he muttered, as he leaned down to drop a kiss to his dad's forehead. "I missed you."
For a long time, he just there, right next to the bed, his hand on his dad's, drinking his coffee and willing his heart to regain its usual speed. He knew it was crazy to want to stay here and not leave his father's side for a single minute – he knew that eventually he would need to go home. He also expected Burt Hummel would realize his son was wasting away right next to him and would wake up to put him out of his misery.
"You're not going to be like this much longer, right?" He whispered, a small smile slipping onto his lips. "You can't possibly expect me to abandon civilized life for weeks while we all wait for you to wake up. You know me, Dad. I need showers. I need skin care routines. I need satin pajamas and eight hours of sleep every night. I need..." He squeezed Burt's hand. "I need you to wake up, okay?"
He waited for a few seconds, watching him closely as if he expected this little speech to have some sort of magical effect. When nothing happened, he sighed and stood up.
"Okay. I'll be back in a moment. I'll give you some time to reconsider," he said, and with one more kiss on his dad's forehead, he grabbed the containers with the muffins and left the room.
As he approached the nurses' station, he saw Gretta, the nurse from the day before, who was clearly just arriving to get her shift started.
"Good morning," he said and she looked up at him with a polite smile. "I'm Kurt. My dad..."
"I remember you, dear. You were here with Blaine yesterday," she interrupted gently.
"Yes, that's right," he replied. He placed the biggest container on the desk. "I brought these for you and the other nurses. To thank you for taking care of my dad."
"Oh dear," she said, touched. "You really didn't have to."
"It's no problem, really," he assured her. He hesitated for a moment. "Do you know, uhm, if there's been any changes...?"
"I just got here, dear, but I don't think so. Someone would have talked to you about it by now if that was the case," she said, with a patient and caring tone that felt like a balm on Kurt's soul. "But don't worry too much about your dad just yet, okay? I've seen a lot of people in conditions worse than him wake up from a long coma. Just give him time, and give him love, and he'll come back to you when he's ready."
The smile he found for her was genuine this time. "Thank you."
"Thank you for the treats," she said. "If Blaine doesn't watch out, we'll have a new favorite soon."
That got a laugh out of him, and he waved as he walked away to let her get to work. Blaine had been on his mind a lot since the previous day – the way he had broken down in the hallway had been one of the most painful things Kurt had ever witnessed. He couldn't forget the absolute despair in his eyes when he looked up at him, the tears he fought so hard to keep from falling. Kurt had felt the urge to hold him, despite never being a person who showed his affection easily or offered comfort physically. But something about the vulnerability in Blaine's face had torn down those barriers and made him reach out for him.
The door in room 216 was ajar, so he knocked softly and peered inside. "Uhm, hi? Blaine?"
"Blaine's not here," said a voice, and Kurt followed its sound to the bed, where there was a man, looking sleepy. "Who are you?"
"Oh, hi, you must be Cooper," Kurt said awkwardly. "I'm Kurt."
"Come on in, Kurt, I don't bite," Cooper said, as he tried to sit up.
Kurt entered the room, and immediately noticed the flowers on the windowsill, the colourful touch in an otherwise depressing hospital room. It seemed like the oranges and yellows made everything a little less depressing, a little less serious. "Those are so pretty," he commented.
"Yeah, Blaine is quite fond of putting flowers everywhere, to make me feel at home," Cooper rolled his eyes.
Kurt took a good look at the man in front of him. If Blaine hadn't told him his age, he would have thought he was a bit older, probably in his mid-forties. But underneath the exhaustion, the paleness and the thinness, Kurt could see a man who had once been so gorgeous, he could have stopped traffic. His blue eyes were bright, even if they were sunken on his face. His hair was mostly gone in a buzzcut close to his skull, which made his ears stand out, but he could picture him with longer hair and a dashing smile. He looked almost nothing like Blaine, and yet, there was something about them – the smile, the kindness in their eyes, something that made them resemble the other.
Kurt realized he was staring and cleared his throat. "I don't mean to intrude. I just wanted to bring some blueberry muffins I made last night. Blaine has been really nice to me, and I wanted to do something for him."
"Oh muffins," Cooper said, now eyeing the container excitedly. "Can I have one? I'm starting to think the hospital food is actually making the cancer stronger."
The way Cooper said that was hilarious, but his words didn't seem a laughing matter, so Kurt was torn. He settled on a quick smile as he got closer to the bed and opened the container so Cooper could peek inside. Kurt watched in amusement as Cooper picked one and got half of it in his mouth. He chewed happily, looking like a child enjoying his favorite desert.
"Man, these are good. I might not leave any for Blaine," he said, not even swallowing the bite. He put the rest of the muffin in his mouth and studied Kurt curiously. Once he was done eating, he asked: "Are you gay?"
Kurt was startled by how direct the question was, though he saw no hint of malice or judgement on Cooper's face. "Yes, why?"
Cooper hummed in delight. "Oh, that's great. Single?"
"I have a boyfriend," Kurt replied, trying not to think about Nick's behavior lately.
"Pity," Cooper murmured, before reaching for another muffin, without any further explanation. "These are fantastic, Kurt."
"Thank you, I'm glad you like them," Kurt said. Cooper gestured for him to take a seat, so Kurt did, not wanting to seem rude. "So, where's Blaine?"
"He had to check some stuff at work, but I'm sure he'll be here soon. He's always here," Cooper said, and there was an edge of something in his voice, something that Kurt wasn't quick enough to recognize. Cooper eyed him with interest. "What's your story? Why are you here?"
From anyone else, the question might have sounded brusque, intrusive, indelicate. But there was something about Cooper – he seemed so open and unapologetic, like nothing could embarrass him, but at the same time, Kurt could tell he wasn't just prying. He really cared.
"My dad had a heart attack. He's in a coma," Kurt explained simply.
"That sucks, Kurt. I'm sorry. I hope he'll be fine soon," Cooper said sincerely. "So Blaine took you under his wing?" When Kurt nodded, Cooper grinned fondly. "My brother has a bigger heart than most people. It gets him in trouble and makes everyone fall in love with him at the same time, which can be a problem."
"The nurses are super smitten with him," Kurt commented, earning another grin from Cooper.
"Oh, I know," Cooper rolled his eyes.
The door opened all the way then, and, like they had conjured him, Blaine walked into the room, carrying a couple bouquets of flowers, this time in shades of pink and coral.
"Hey Coop... oh, Kurt! Hi! What a surprise!" He exclaimed, a warm smile on his face.
"He brought us muffins!" Cooper said, lifting the container so Blaine could see it.
"Oh, Kurt, you really shouldn't have!" Blaine said, as he approached the bed. He squeezed his brother's arm in greeting, a quick gesture that was probably a reflex at this point, but that Kurt didn't miss. "Thank you so much. They look delicious. Leave me a few, okay?" He said to his brother.
"I'll try," Cooper murmured, as he reached for another.
"So I see you've met my crazy brother," Blaine commented, as he moved towards the window and began arranging the flowers, quickly and efficiently. He discarded the ones that were wilting and replaced them with the new ones. "How are you feeling today, Coop?"
Cooper rolled his eyes again, and somewhere hidden inside him was an annoyed teenage boy. "Same as every day, B. There's absolutely no point for me to be here. I should get to go home, don't you think?"
Blaine made a face that meant they had talked about this already, so when he replied, he said to Kurt: "His doctor thinks it's better if he stays here between his chemo sessions, because he was a bit under the weather after the last few ones."
Cooper gave Kurt a very cheeky smile and said: "They're all a bunch of liars. They just want to keep me around because I'm pretty to look at."
That only made the brothers start to bicker back and forth, but Kurt missed most of it, because with that last comment, he realized he had just fallen a bit in love with this charming, broken man who could still smile and make jokes throughout the pain.
He understood Blaine's breakdown now – Cooper's light was so bright, it must have been scary to think how much darkness would be left in the world if he was gone.
One of my favorite things about this story was writing Cooper + Kurt interactions. There will be more, and I hope you love them as much as I do.
See you again on Wednesday.
Thank you so much for reading,
L.-