"Au revoir, Épée."
The badger leaps off the rooftop, catching herself on the casino's neon signs. Mindy's heart beats in her ears, over the wailing of sirens and her boots skidding along the wires and lights.
This was the thrill of the heist, the excitement of escape. She can't help it, she smiles- as a window cracks open beneath her, and as she falls on down again.
Just as planned- the green raccoon catches her in his arms, a parachute made of leaves separating them from the pavement.
"Merci, Lief! Allons-y." She smiles and stretches, noting how his grip trembles as she wraps an arm around her accomplice. "Have you considered making this a full-time job?"
Despite the smirk on his face, Lief's vermillion eyes roll beneath the fern mask. "Haven't made up my mind." A vine on his left arm tightens, and their glide sharply swings around- down to the parking lot. A crimson and red convertible's roof lowers, and a red fox waits at the wheel.
"Right on time." The fox whistles, bushy tail moving from the passenger seat as Mindy slides inside. The racing gloves on her hands clench the wheel and gearshift, as Lief harbors a bag of pilfered gains into the backseat, police lights trailing an empty parachute. "How'd it go this time?"
"Same as usual, Wendy." Mindy smirks, pulling on the seatbelt as the car pulls out the parking lot- carefully swerving past pedestrians and debris. "They never do tend to check the ventilation."
"Some girl hit me with a bat." Lief's reply to the question is dry- opting to strap in the bag of cash instead of himself. "But otherwise the usual."
With how casual their conversation was, it would be easy to forget they were running from a crime scene. Wendy checks the rear-view mirror- and sighs upon seeing flashes of red and blue. "The access point ain't far. But, shaking off these guys'll take a bit." Wendy huffs, and sharply turns- the rubber of the tires screeching against the asphalt.
Mindy only shrugs in response- "It gives us more time to chat, non? I ran into an adorable little mercenary on the rooftop."
"The human girl with the bat?" Lief pipes up- as gunshots ring past their ears. It wouldn't even take a turn to know it was lethal force.
"Oh, it was actually-"
"Oi, save that for later!" Wendy's muzzle shifts to a grimace. "They'd better not scuff the car!"
Her tone seems to give Lief an idea. His hand reaches beneath the seat, and he grins- "I'm gonna do something cool."
Mindy's expression hardens as she faces him. "No killing. And don't do something stupid."
"Yes, yes, I know." Another roll of his eyes, as if the badger was a nagging parent. He lifts his hand, revealing a vine tied to the bottom of the seat. "I wasn't asking for permission, by the way."
"Merde…" Mindy sighs, raising a hand to her temple as the raccoon leaps out of the convertible, sending him up and backwards as the car continues to maneuver through the kingdom of pleasure. He laughs, like a maniac, as a wooden board forms around his feet, allowing him to skid behind the car as if he were on water-skis.
"He is insane." Wendy blinks, watching their cloaked ally through the rear-view mirror.
"Oui. But he does good work."
A policeman leans out of the window and re-aims. A pig, fitting, thinks Lief. A vine extends from his free hand, and snatches the Glock 22 right from his hands.
"Time to not cause a car crash." He mutters, closing an eye and aiming at a car's wheel, skidding to the side to avoid another bullet.
"One." A bang, and a wheel pops in the back line of cop cars. "Two, Three…" A second wheel, and he watches to make sure they slow and stop before firing at the third. "Four."
No bang, only a click. "Cops are useless." He grunts, and chucks it at the closest vehicle's window, focusing back to sliding behind Wendy's car. If the reflection of the shiny red paint could be trusted, there were still quite a few cars left.
And evidently, still quite a distance until their breakthrough point. Lief scoffs and rolls his eyes, as the vine extends from his arm, sending him further back. Mindy got them in. Wendy was gonna get them out. He was just here to make sure there was nothing stopping that.
As he swerves behind a car, a branch retracts from his free hand, sharp as a blade. A quick flick of his wrist was all it took to deflate the tire, to get blood pumping in his ears. A grin slashes across his face as he turns, cutting another wheel.
One car was starting to speed up- was it planning on hitting him? He hops atop the roof, making sure to break open that window as he did, grabbing the hippopotamus driver by the scruff. As the eel in the passenger seat scrambled for the breaks, as the hippopotamus helplessly tried to grab his wrists, Lief truly felt alive.
He lets go, however, as they pull over, and as Wendy's car keeps moving.
A few more left- but as he eyes his prey, a gunshot sounds- shooting a fresh hole in the vine connecting him to the car. He swears as his speed drops and his knees wobble, and as someone grabs him by the hand, pulling him atop a car.
A cop, a blonde hedgehog, barely hanging onto the roof himself. "I don't suppose we could talk this out, could we?" He asks, and Lief feels his vision go red.
The raccoon pulls himself atop the car, and the skis on his foot break, morphing into spikes that embed itself into the top. "Nothing to talk about with a class traitor." He growls- flexing the blade on his wrist. As he tries to stab the gloved hand the officer was using to hang atop, it quickly moves, and he brings himself to his feet as well.
"I get that a lot, y'know?" The hedgehog sighs. "You don't have to do this. I want to understand you."
"Eat shit." No killing, but they never said anything about maiming. He jabs, specifically jabs the hand with the knife on it, but the guy pulls out a baton and blocks it.
"Easy, now. I really don't want to hurt you." There's sympathy in the guy's voice, and Lief hates it. "My name's Jago. You and your friends really stir up a mess, y'know…"
"Do you want me to pity you?" Another "knife" emerges from Lief's arm, and as he tries to stab, another block. The officer is making care not to actually harm him- but the baton in his hand lights up like a bulb.
"No- I want to resolve this, but you're kind of forcing my hand…" Jago grunts, but Lief doesn't let up. A flick of the officer's baton, and the branches on his hand break. "I know it's a bit hard to see right now, but we're both Mobian- as are the victims you take from. If you come with me-"
Jago is cut off- what seems to be a snort. That snort turns into a chuckle, and that chuckle turns to a laugh.
"Victims? Victims?! Mwahahaha! They sit on hoards of cash like dragons, and you want me to feel bad for them?!" The question was rhetorical, as he continued to laugh- hysterically, as if Jago's suggestion was little more than a joke.
The hedgehog gulps- "If you'd just calm down, we could discuss this civilly. And, not atop a moving car."
"Ahahaha… That's right." Lief mutters blankly. "We don't have that sort of time, though."
Jago's brow quirks in confusion, and the raccoon is grabbed- gray fur, long snout, and a crimson bandanna. The two swing, atop a roof and around a building.
"Moegura, long time no…" Lief begins, but pauses. "You know."
All Lief earned was a grunt from the mole, as the grappling hook releases, and lands them back where they began, the backseat of the red convertible. A simple smirk formed on Mindy's lip, while Wendy's focus was on the road. Moegura doesn't speak, only fastening into his seat.
"Done having your fun?" Mindy's voice is a bit sarcastic, and Wendy turns offroad, into a forest of brush and high trees.
"I guess I am now." Sighs the raccoon.
Blade grimaces as he walks back out of the cashino. Covered in police tape, windows broken, bills fallen about… Something about it was almost poetic.
Jackie is walking at his side, rubbing the bare shoulder that was grazed by thorns. Her gaze is elsewhere, almost disappointed.
"Don't feel bad, kid." He hums. "First job is always pretty rough."
"Zip it, furball." She hisses back instead. He notes her response in his head, and continues walking.
"Hey, you two!" A voice calls out to them. As Blade turns- it's the grizzly bear, the commissioner. His head flicks, gesturing for the two to approach.
"Oh boy…" Jackie grimaces, looking to Blade. He's only able to offer her a shrug.
As they walk, the commissioner looks at them as if they just spat on his shoes. "You two were able to retrieve something from the thief, right?"
Jackie grunts, and sighs. "It was just hi-"
"Yes, both of us." Blade speaks over her ashamed tone of voice. The bear quirks a brow.
"No one against her has been able to retrieve something the Honey Badger has stolen. Least, not until now." The grizzly bear admits, and huffs. "I have a job for you two."
"Fair pay, I hope?" Blade leans forwards ever slightly, and the bear's eyes roll.
"If you're good." Grumbles the bear.
Jackie's chest puffs, and she smirks- "Yeah, we're the best!"
Good, she's learning how to bluff. The cop either falls for it or ignores it. "We need to… Outsource for this issue. To properly catch and detain the Honey Badger, and the rest of her Neighborhood Watch. Alive, or dead."
Jackie winces at the commissioner's words, but she's unfamiliar with the business. The indifference. But she'll have to get used to it.
"This way. We have a few friends for you." The bear growls, maneuvering closer to the scene of the crime. A pair of gold-coated mobians, the first a cat, and the second a hedgehog.
Blade's expression turns sour at the sight of the hedgehog's uniform. "Never knew mercs and cops were friends."
"If we had a choice, we wouldn't." The bear grumbles, before introducing them. "Candy, a travelling martial-artist. Blade, a sword-wielding mercenary. Jackie, a baseball protégé. Jago, one of our own on the force. You should get comfortable with one another."
Comfortable? Blade turns to give the commissioner a deadpan look- but he's gone. It's almost stunning how someone of such a size can move so fast.
"I hope I don't have any allergies…" Jackie mumbles under her breath, rubbing her nose with the back of her glove.
The cat, Candy, her name was- her tail curls and she seems to look upon the two with stars in her eyes. "Oooh, this is my first time working with the shady sort of mercs!"
"... Shady?" Blade turns to Jago, and the cop only offers him a shrug. The teenaged cat extends a hand, adorned in fingerless gloves.
"I'm Candy! Member of the Tiger Clan! It's nice to meet you! Is it true that you have a cool lightsaber?"
Ah, the other type of newbie. The one that's too excited. "Erm. Right. Blade, but you know that already."
Jackie offers the cat naught but a suspicious glare. "Martial arts, huh?" She mutters- eyeing the darker pattern on her forehead. "And that's it?"
"Easy, easy." Jago steps between the two before something can erupt. "We need to be working together for this. A unit."
"Yeah, you'd know all about cooperation, huh?" Blade huffs. "I'd better be getting paid good for this."
"You will, trust me." Jago nods, an attempt at reassurance. "How about we find a more comfortable place to chat?"
Author's Post-Note: "A raccoon water-skiis behind a car running from cops" sounds like a stupid idea, until you realize it's also the coolest idea in the world.
I may be a bit biased. Is it too obvious that I'm biased?
Introducing…
Jago the Hedgehog - 18 - Male (He/Him)
An easygoing police officer who wants to understand and get along with those he might apprehend. Even in serious situations, he gives a few jests to calm the atmosphere. He has a strong sense of justice.
Submitted by ibademise
"Moegura" the Mole - 17 - Male (He/Him)
A quiet, blind mole and honorary member of the Neighborhood Watch. He's incredibly loyal, but dangerously persistent, and refuses to leave a job undone. He seems to become a different person when he takes his blindfold off.
Submitted by Kunnaki
Candy the Cat - 15 - Female (She/Her)
An excitable and energetic young girl who tends to leap in without thinking. She has a strong sense of justice, and is an incredibly potent warrior. She's travelling the world in order to discover herself.
Submitted by zetsunaflames
Gratuitous Translations
Merci: French. "Thank you".
Allons-y: French. "Let's go".
Merde: French. A swear that's roughly the equivalent of the f-word.
Thank you for reading this far! Leave a review if you can. There's also a discord server for creators with accepted characters- which I will bribe you into joining with the promise of character art.
Farewell, and fair writing!
-Inari