A/N: Honestly don't think y'all are ready for this one - but a mahoosive shoutout to the one and only Lux for assisting me in a section of this chapter in the form of an RP!
Gosh, it took me back... Legit had so much fun and it made my life a whole lot easier so thanks love! YEET! xD
The next two chapters are actually both RP's too so expect at least two more gushings over her. *Mwah*
Hope you enjoy.
K~
Chapter 9 - Hopeless
"NO SERVICE?!"
Ray shrieked as he gawked at his phone, his mouth having fallen open almost comically in disbelief at the zero bars displaying on the screen.
"Ohh I don't believe this..."
As another more than disappointed groan escaped him Mariah awkwardly shifted behind him, her arms behind her back as she looked away at anything but the distressed male currently sat on his knees on the floor in the centre of the cabin.
She had popped by that morning to 'assist' in the search for his phone after putting it off for several days.
She may have promised she'd help him look for it but she never stated when...
Within a few minutes, she had miraculously found it underneath his bed after crawling underneath and sneakily retrieving it from her bra.
"Well of course there's no service, Ray, we're up in the mountains!" she stated, tone scolding as she rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "Why do you think we write letters? For the fun of it?"
"I need a network," he mused aloud as he clambered to his feet and pushed past her, heading straight out of the cabin door. "I-I need to call Kai!"
"Hey! Where are you going?!" Mariah called out to him as she quickly followed, trying to catch up with him though Ray's power walk wasted no time in developing into a sprint.
"To the city! I'll be back soon!" he yelled over his shoulder, his pace unwavering and within several seconds he'd disappeared into the trees that surrounded the settlement and was long gone.
Mariah's own feet slowly came to a halt as she stood to catch her breath.
She should've just buried the thing somewhere. He wasn't even missing Kai until Lee brought up the last world championships last night whilst they were out roasting marshmallows by the campfire.
It had been days since Ray had mentioned him!
With a pout she turned back on her heel to retreat back to her own cabin to sulk.
They were having so much fun. And once again he had to get in between them and ruin it...
x-x-x
Kai had been in a foul mood all morning as he worked away in his office, keeping himself busy, distracted and out of trouble.
He'd never checked his damn Facebook page so much in his life. Refreshing it several times a day now for the past week for any sort of update from any of the white tigers but there'd been nothing, not since Mariah's check-in at the airport.
One part of him wanted to hear Ray's voice; the other didn't want to hear from him ever again.
He'd lied to him. Left for China just so he could be alone with Mariah.
There was no other explanation for it. That picture said it all and was obviously so busy with her, getting in touch and letting him know he was alive wasn't even on his agenda.
He ran a hand through his hair and a sigh of frustration exhaled through his nose.
For all Ray knew he was sat sick with worry for his wellbeing and organising a mass search party, but of course the only reason why he wasn't was because our good friend Mariah had already let the cat out of the bag so he knew he was safe at least. He was thankful for that but still.
He could only think of two possible reasons why he hadn't been in touch yet.
One was because he'd already fucked her and he couldn't bring himself to speak to him, or two, he had decided that they really were done, he wasn't ever coming back, and he didn't have the guts to break up with him properly.
That was it. That's all it could be.
All of this wasn't even anything to do with him! Ray had just upped and left just so he could be with THAT!
Well... if that was the case then fuck him! He'd- He'd already got his own back! Did the dirty on Ray before he had a chance to do it to him!
Briskly rummaging through an array of files sat on his desk, feeling himself get more and more worked up, he picked up various pieces of paper and booklets searching for the specific sheets he knew he needed to sign and get sent off before closing but at being unable to find them he snapped out to his assistant.
"Tiffany?! Did you give me those papers I requested this morning?"
His mind was all over right now. He couldn't remember if she specifically gave them to him but it wasn't like her to not have done something he'd asked of her. She was usually very prompt so it made more sense for him to question his own sanity right now rather than to doubt her competence.
"Eek! I've gotta go," the tall brunette whispered into her phone at hearing her name. "I'll call you once I finish work, okay?"
Hanging up and shoving her phone back into her handbag that sat underneath her desk, Tiffany stood from her chair and with her heels now clicking along the marble floor, hurried over to Kai's office, poking her head in the doorway as she spoke.
"Sorry, you called me, sir?" she panted out trying to catch her breath back after her little sprint over.
Kai saved her a glance as he now stood over his desk continuing to search for said papers.
"Yes, where are the documents I asked for when I first came in this morning?"
Tiffany's hand snapped up to her lipstick clad mouth as she gasped.
She'd completely forgotten to retrieve them from the email and print them out that morning...
"I'm on it right now, sir!"
As she rushed off again Kai immediately ceased his search for what didn't exist yet and laid his hands flat on his desk and leant on them, letting his head drop with an exasperated exhale.
"Well, maybe if you stuck to taking personal calls on personal time they'd be on my desk right now!" he harshly called out to her.
Truthfully Kai wasn't even that annoyed with her. He was more frustrated at the raging storm brewing in his head over Ray, but even with all his distractions, he'd be lying if he said he hadn't noticed her own slight laxity lately over the past week or so.
Considering how long she'd worked for him for he'd have hoped that she'd know better than to keep him waiting when important documents needed his immediate attention. He'd fired many assistants in the past for less due to deeming them incompetent but she usually went above and beyond so he'd let these past few instances of forgetfulness slide.
It wasn't like her though; it was out of character, so he was somewhat concerned.
Feeling a little brash, he attempted to remove some of the salt from his words and called out to her in a less icy tone but still with his usual flatness.
"I'm sure your lover boy can wait until 5:30."
Tiffany chuckled at the remark, completely brushing off his earlier spat with her as she clicked back into his office again to continue their conversation, the sound of the industrial printer now whirring away as it printed out the several requested sheets of paper.
She knew what her boss was like by now, constantly under some form of stress. She never took his lashings out personally.
"It wasn't a boyfriend sir, it was just a friend of mine," she corrected with a smile as she made her way over to his coffee machine on the cabinet near the window. "Coffee?"
With his focus down on a different file Kai briefly glanced to her and nodded. "Please."
She smiled again to herself and picked up his mug, filling it with the freshly brewed coffee that was apparently more than needed right now.
"Do you remember the guy I hired for you to work on your backyard? Tala?" she asked conversationally as she gently placed the steaming cup onto the desk in front of him.
At hearing the redhead's name Kai choked on his spit the second it had registered in his ears.
Why was she bringing him up of all people?!
He cleared his throat and reached for his cup, taking a small sip and attempting to sound nonchalant even though he could feel a pounding in his chest.
"Uh, vaguely... Why? What about him?"
"Well, I'm really good friends with his wife, Bianca. That was her I was speaking to on the phone just now. She was just updating me on what the hospital said to her this morning."
His heart that had initially skipped a beat at just hearing his name then seemed to stop beating all together.
W-Wife?
The guy had a fucking wife?!
Every insult that sat within his extensive vocabulary was being mentally launched at an image of Tala right now though in reality he sat stunned at the new found information and was rendered speechless.
"Oh... i-is she okay?" he managed after something within had kicked him to continue the conversation and he prayed that his usual poker face expression wasn't letting him down right now.
"Oh yeah! Absolutely fine!" Tiffany assured with a wave of her hands, quickly realising that her previous sentence mentioning a hospital seemed pretty dramatic.
"She was just having her final scan this morning. Only a few more weeks to go!" she beamed as she did a little happy dance on the spot.
"Until what?" he asked as he watched her with a small frown, the conversation now completely losing him.
Tiffany giggled at the clueless expression currently sat on her boss's face and placed a hand on her sharp hip.
For someone so smart he really was naïve sometimes...
"For the baby to be born, silly!"
Hearing that the printer had gone quiet she then turned on her stiletto heel and made her way to the door to prepare the files he'd asked for before turning to face him again once she'd reached the door.
"I'm sorry again, sir, for being so slack lately, it's just such an exciting time!" she gushed again, tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear. "I promise I'll focus more though. Give me ten minutes for these documents, kay?"
All Kai could do was sit and gaup as he watched her leave his office again and close the door behind her, the last thing she'd said to him going in one ear and out the other as the realisation the other male was living a completely double life sank in.
Not only did Tala have a wife... but he had a kid on the way too?
Did he have no shame?!
He wasn't sure as to why he felt the need to, as it really was none of his damn business, but he couldn't suppress the want to call this son of a bitch out.
Did he really not feel an ounce of guilt for what they'd done?
The way the redhead had been texting him most nights since then desperate to see him again showed he clearly wasn't...
Ray was just his boyfriend and he'd felt an utter scumbag for it all...
But a wife? A pregnant wife?!
He fished out his phone from his trouser pocket and scrolled through his recent contacts, firmly pressing on Tala's name with his thumb and after a few rings it was answered.
"Well, my day's just got a whole lot better... Wondered when I'd hear from you, hey sexy..."
"Thought of any names?" Kai bit, cutting straight to the chase.
What did he think this was gonna be? A pleasant chit chat? A quick check in on his lunch break?!
"Uhhh, what?"
Kai could almost envision the scrunch of the redhead's face in his confusion, a brow cocking as he drawled dumbly.
"I said have you thought of any names?" he repeated in a hiss. "Y'know, for the baby you've due any second? With your wife?"
He took a quick glance at his closed office door, the last thing he needed was Tiffany overhearing any of this...
"D'you know how hot you are when you're mad?" he chuckled in response which had Kai's blood boiling in an instant.
"You're un-fucking-believable Tal do you know that?" he snarled through gritted teeth as he began pacing up and down his office.
He got a bored groan in response. The other male over the bitching already.
"Why do you even care, Kai? What's it to you?" he replied in his usual carefree tone. "You knew I wasn't single so why are you acting so surprised all of a sudden?"
"I didn't know you were fucking married!" Kai snapped back, raising his voice out of frustration before taking another quick glance to his office door, mentally scolding himself for losing his cool and lowering his volume before speaking again.
"And she's due to have your baby? How the fuck am I supposed to feel knowing that?"
Another irritated sigh made it to his ear through the phone, blue eyes having rolled at the melodramatics.
"It isn't your problem, so whoever told you my business, just forget about it..."
"Tiffany told me," Kai retorted almost smugly, feeling some twisted pleasure at catching the usually smooth bastard off guard with the information. "Y'know, your wife's best friend?"
Tala had tutted upon hearing her name, the connection now making sense to him.
"Ah shit, I forgot Tiff was your assistant... Damn... We're really playing with fire here aren't we?"
Whilst he didn't see it Kai could definitely hear the mischievous smirk through the phone.
"Oh you think?!-" his voice raised again before his eyes darted towards the slender figure that had just walked back in to his office with a handful of papers.
"-So uh yeah, Tuesday at seven is fine, I'll see you then, and we can discuss that.. thing," he blurted out randomly before abruptly ending the call and slapping it face down on his desk.
"Here you go sir," Tiffany offered as she handed over the wad of paper, just catching the end of his conversation presumably with a client.
He gave a quick nod of thanks as he pretended to look over the sheets, though his actual attention was far from work now. His mind was working more than overtime now with everything currently going on.
"So... your friend, Bianca, and... Tala was it?" he started after a moment, praying that he wasn't coming across as too invested as he fished for more information on the little rat.
"They been married long?"
x-x-x
It felt like he'd been walking for hours now.
Several miles out of the village Ray took yet another glance down at his phone the same way he had done every handful of steps; holding it up to sky every now and then and wordlessly pleading for the 'no service' text on the screen to disappear and be replaced with bars.
With nothing as of yet, he kept on going, another long sigh escaping him as light raindrops started to fall from the sky.
Shouldn't be much further now, surely?
After another twenty minutes of walking he could just make out Beijing over the horizon and lo and behold his phone started to buzz as notifications started to pour through having finally connected to a mobile network.
He disregarded them frantically as he went straight to his favourites and pressed on Kai's name. The phone being flung up to his ear as both excitement and anxiety churned in his stomach whilst the dial tone rang out, his heart racing as he stood in one spot and waited for him to pick up.
Over three thousand kilometres away Kai shifted to retrieve the buzz from his pocket and leisurely took in the caller I.D, a mix of emotions coursing through him upon registering Ray's name flashing on the display.
Could today get any more dramatic?
He'd envisioned the moment Ray called to be a somewhat excitable one. Gushing over how much he missed him already and hurling questions at him about the flight and if he was okay and when was he coming home...
What Kai didn't envision was that the call would be happening a week later, nor the current anger he held for the other right now.
He let the ringtone continue to chime for a few more seconds, just staring at the screen as he gathered his words and warned himself not to just bust right out the gate yelling and screaming.
They could get through this calmly like the adults they were...
But then his mouth moved.
"And here I thought a mountain lion got to you..."
At the familiar deadpan tone Ray let out a laugh of relief. Kai's usual flatness like music to his ears as all his original nerves he'd held over the first call began to slowly drain from him.
He should have known he wouldn't have been that mad with him and that he'd understand something must have happened beyond his control that would refrain him from calling.
"Babe! You wouldn't believe how long I've tried to get in contact with you!"
"Really?"
At first Kai sounded amused and actually interested, maybe a little taken back at the effort, if it wasn't for the bite in his tone.
"Pretty sure if you actually had tried you would have contacted me when you were supposed to. Seeing as how the rest of our friends already knew when and where you were the second you got there."
Ray's heart sank a little upon hearing Kai's voice transition to what seemed a little more on the icy side now.
He didn't blame him for being a little pissed off as he'd have been worried sick too if he hadn't got in contact with him until days later. But what he just said confused him, he hadn't spoken to anyone since he got here, not Kai, not their friends, no one - he had no phone!
"What do you mean? I couldn't even find my cell for the first few days, babe, and then when I did eventually find it I had no freakin' signal!" he awkwardly laughed trying to bring light back to the conversation as he started to pace a little though made sure to not stray too far from where he'd found the network.
"I've had to practically walk back to Beijing to get service, Kai, so don't talk to me about trying, okay?"
"So, what is it you want?" Kai then asked in a bored tone, even if inside he felt just a slight bit better that Ray had actually put in the effort of getting in contact with him. Then again, it wasn't enough to cut out the sting he already felt for just how long it took and that damn picture Mariah had posted to Facebook.
If she had the signal to do that, surely Ray had the signal to call him at least once!
"Better yet, where was your phone?" he redirected to cover the slip of his sharp tongue a second ago.
He had missed the sound of his voice, had been craving it something desperately and didn't want Ray to hang up based on the fact he was being a downright ass. After all, it wasn't his fault that Tala was married and had a fucking kid on the way...
Ray's eyes had narrowed at Kai's first initial response as he wondered if the guy was actually for real right now.
Sure be mad, but he'd just explained the situation he'd been in, and there wasn't anything he could've done about it. There was no one more frustrated than he was. As soon as he'd found the damn thing he was straight up and out of the village. His legs couldn't have carried him any faster!
"Well I don't know where it went but eventually found it just in my room… But I'd searched my shit for days and I swear it just wasn't even there before."
Hn. Too busy living the married life with the pink thing, Kai thought angrily to himself.
"Should keep a better eye on your things."
At the slight scolding he felt he probably deserved, Ray kicked a little stone in front of him as he meandered, the light rain continuing to slowly fall around m.
"Yeah, my bad I guess... I'm sorry if I worried you but I don't know why you're acting like I did this on purpose.. I promised you I'd call didn't I? I don't just make promises Kai for the fun of it. The whole thing has just been out of my control."
"Ready to come home then?" Kai bluntly asked, completely brushing off everything he had just said.
Ray stopped his pacing and swallowed.
"Well.. I was actually planning on staying for another week," he answered with slight hesitance. "The elders want me to help out with a few more things around the village before I leave."
"Fine," Kai breathed out in a huff, "That's fine, Ray, just fine."
Whilst he sounded clearly disgruntled by his answer the idea of Ray staying away for another week actually wasn't all that bad. Maybe by then he'd have gotten rid of the guilt that had clung to him like a second skin since that night Tala had been over, and even more so now since he'd added another layer with the new found info from this morning.
Maybe in another week all the marks on him will have gone too, and he'd be able to actually look Ray in the eye like nothing happened, move on from it and not worry about it anymore.
What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right?
Ray didn't really know what to even say to him at this point as he couldn't understand why Kai was being like this. So cold.
By his tone it didn't take a genius to work out that it wasn't in fact fine at all. It seemed like everything he said was the wrong thing, and pissed him off even more.
Staying longer was perhaps a good idea after all. Would give him some time to cool off since Kai was clearly a whole lot more angry than he'd originally anticipated.
"I wasn't all that worried though, by the way, about you not getting a hold of me," Kai clarified, venom coming back to lace his tone. "And whilst you might have never broken a promise, lying sure seems to be right up your alley, huh?"
The accusation had Ray's heart rate increase to a point it made his damp cool skin feel flushed. His initial guilt that Mariah had managed to simmer down bubbling back over and making him feel nauseous.
"What are you talking about?" he asked playing dumb. "What have I lied to you about?"
Realistically Kai could be referring to anything right now. He didn't know for definite that he knew of what was going on here. He needed to just play cool until he knew what the hell was going on in the others head.
"Well, I'm pretty sure you said you were just going to visit family, alone, did you not?" he asked revealing exactly what was going on in his head.
Ray swallowed.
"Well.. Technically I never said who was going to be here or not... I just said I was leaving..."
Kai chuckled though it was dark.
"And you forgot to add one little, no scratch that, big detail. Didn't you, honey?" he then bit back with a voice laced in poison, the burning jealousy visible.
"Can see why you'd want to stay another week, by all means. Go get it out of your system if it makes you happy!"
Ray's guilt came back around and smacked him in the face. Kai's words, whilst being spat at him sarcastically, stung a whole lot more than what he would ever truly realise.
Whilst he would have been grateful for the blessing before it was no longer needed as Ray had come to realise over the past week of him being here that whatever he'd felt for Mariah was merely platonic now.
Was a bit of a dramatic way of finding out to say the least, but now he could say confidently that it had all just been down to the alcohol that night that had him feeling all kinds of ways.
There was only Kai in his heart. He knew that now.
"I swear to you Kai that there's nothing going on between me and Mariah!" he said firmly back to him though his tone seemed to plead.
He didn't want to fight! He just wanted them to be okay now!
"We're just friends! That's it!"
Kai scoffed back into the phone, "That picture says otherwise."
Ray's face contorted in his puzzlement, the rain starting to fall heavier now around him like it was reflecting the frustration he had for other that was building and building.
"What? What picture?!"
"You're really going to play stupid with me, right now? Oh sure, you had no signal but the tramp had enough to post those pictures of you when you got there, right?!"
The hardened expression on Ray's face dropped instantly as he tried to envision the pictures he was referring to.
The only pictures there had been were what Mariah had taken of the five of them... And then of course that second one of just the two of them...
Fuck! It was just an innocent kiss on the cheek though! He'd done nothing wrong!
"Kai, I-" "-Oh, and then your phone goes 'missing' until now, like I'm supposed to believe that in the slightest," Kai fired out again, cutting him off.
"Do you honestly think I was born yesterday, Kon? The least you could have done, was responded to my texts but you couldn't even bring yourself to do that? Instead you just waited days later to call me up!"
"I-I didn't get any texts?"
Bringing the phone down in front of him Ray disregarded Kai's outburst as his brows furrowed at the screen for a second before placing it back up to his ear.
"Babe I swear I didn't get any texts from you."
"Bullshit!" Kai practically screamed back at him, to hell with keeping things calm. Tiffany had left for home some time ago now so he could shout all he wanted.
"I sent you three, right around when you should have been landing. Ohhhh, but that's right. You lost your phone," he stopped the yelling long enough to sound patronising.
"Kai, you have to believe me, I swear on my life I didn't get any texts from you," Ray pleaded with him, never feeling so helpless in his life. "Why would I intentionally ignore you?!"
He sounded frantic now. This whole situation slowly turning from bad to worse and it was seemingly becoming unfixable with every response.
He had no way to prove it to him and knowing Kai well enough he only ever believed what he could physically see, what was in plain black and white in front of him.
The hard evidence proving Kai's thoughts to be true was a photo of him and Mariah looking cosy as hell with her planting one on his fucking cheek, whereas Ray had nothing in his defence.
"Why would you intentionally ignore me? Hm. Good question. Why would you intentionally go there to start with? If you wanted your space Ray the house is big enough for you! You didn't have to jump on a plane and fly miles away just to get away from me."
"I told you that I wanted to visit my family too!" Ray tried to bite back but the tears began to prick at his eyes now. "And it's okay you saying I could've stayed, just gone in to a different room, but did you ever think that after that evening I didn't feel safe in that house with you? Did that ever cross your damn mind once you'd sobered up?"
This was not how he'd intended this phone call to go.
A part of him wanting to just get on the next plane home to sort this face to face with the stubborn asshole, and the other wanting to just hang up, go back to the village and stay there for the rest of his days.
There was no talking to him! Never had been! If Kai had something in his head well that was it! It stayed there until he himself changed his own damn mind.
Kai went quiet for what seemed forever, small taps coming through the other side as if he was tapping the desk with his fingers nervously the only thing for a moment before a loud sigh.
"I... I didn't mean to hurt you... You know that, I would never intentionally hurt you like that, and I'm sorry that I scared you. But it was one time, one time I fuck up and you high tail it out of the damn country as if I was going to come at you with a knife! You didn't give me the chance to make it right, you didn't give me any way to make it better! No! You just upped and left Ray!" He fired off once more, his voice rising higher and higher as the hand that had been tapping the desk slammed down on the top of it.
Ray jumped at the sound in his ear and pressed his lips together.
He thought for a moment he'd somehow managed to douse the fire but upon hearing Kai's voice get angrier and angrier the more he spewed, that fire was slowly being reignited again and wasn't going to burn out any time soon.
"I know it wasn't intentional Kai but you still did and all because you were drunk..." His voice cracked as the memories of the broken eighteen year old he called his best friend came back to him.
"Have you not realised yet that alcohol just doesn't agree with you? Don't you remember all that it's done to you in the past...?
"You might think this is the first time you've fucked up but I don't think you quite realise just how much I've had to deal with during our relationship together. I didn't leave just over that one thing, it's been a build-up of many things. You grabbing me like that on that night was just the final straw, and I'm sorry, but I just didn't want to be around you..."
Kai rolled his eyes.
Did he really need to be reminded of every poor decision he's ever made due to drink? Well newsflash Ray he had a huge one to add to the list...
"Of course you didn't want to be around me, not when you had your whore waiting with open arms to make it all better and save you from me... How sweet." He said in that patronising tone again. Burning jealousy making his damn chest ache.
"What I wanna know though is if I've been that terrible all these years then why the hell have you even stuck around? Was it the money, the thrill of trying to fix me? Exactly why have you stuck around if I'm such a fuck up Ray?" His voice unwillingly cracked.
This hurt him just like it no doubt hurt Ray, maybe even more; and whilst his tone was ruthless now his question was a genuine one.
Why does he continue to stick around?
After what he'd gone and done the moment Ray was out the door why would he come back? He had fucked up, in more ways than one, and like the glutton for punishment he was, he just kept on digging that hole for himself.
"Because I love you, you fucking idiot! Are you serious right now?!" Ray screamed at him. "You think I stayed with you for your money? Do you actually hear yourself?!"
At the insulting accusation his eyes slit and any remaining tears immediately dried as rage began to course through him.
How could he even say any of this? Is that what Kai truly thought of him? That he was some kind of gold digger?
His chest heaved, his breathing becoming erratic as if everything Kai had said to him had just hit him all at once like a train. How he wasn't even worried that he'd not heard from him, accusing him of being a cheater, a liar, and now a gold digger?
Yes, he more than likely wasn't thinking straight when he'd booked the flight. He was tired, upset, angry.
Yes, ok, he'll admit, when he first saw Mariah again that night they all went out together, she looked gorgeous, and yes the past may have resurfaced in his mind, and yes he might have fantasised about her once or twice.
There was something for Mariah but what he had for Kai was stronger. He loved her as a friend, but he loved him with every piece of him.
But all Kai had said just now, left an awful taste in his mouth.
Ray pushed his soaking wet bangs out of his face. Even if he was crying right now the rain would completely mask his tears, but this asshole didn't deserve them. Not a single drop.
"After everything I've done for you..?" his voice then trailed off, Kai's venom truly setting in to his veins, slowly killing his will to fight for this any longer.
"And the one time I needed you home, you left." Kai's voice came out broken worse than before.
He knew he couldn't blame Ray for what he did. He's a grown man and should take responsibility for his own actions. But if he hadn't have left him that day what happened with Tala wouldn't have occured.
Ray should have stayed. But he chose to leave.
Whether it was for Mariah or not, he chose to leave him behind.
Ray's lip quivered as he felt his chest ache for him.
He knew that tone. He hadn't heard it for a long time but that empty tone only ever surfaced when a part of the other was crushed.
But after all this, this conversation, Kai wasn't the only one heartbroken.
"You've brought this upon yourself, Kai. I'm sorry but I've spent long enough thinking about you and your feelings. It's about time I started to think about my own."
His gaze fell to the floor as he bit down on to his lip. The tears he'd been fighting back slowly began to fill his eyes.
The silence came back on the other side, Kai trying hard to gain his bearings while his scrambled brain tried to come up with something else. Like an excited child with a new toy, they had gone and broke themselves apart like this and when it came down to it, to the bottom of the barrel, he was the only one in the wrong.
As much as he wanted to tell him, he wanted it just as much to have him actually come home. So he bit his lip hard for a moment more, letting the silence give them a bit of peace before he nodded.
"Okay," was the simply reply, one he even had a hard time just saying and clearly wanted to say more but was in no position to be making demands.
For once, Ray was the one in control now.
At the single word uttered in clear defeat Ray knew their conversation was pretty much dead and buried now.
If he knew it was all going to pan out like this he'd have thought twice about calling. Thought twice about walking all the way out here in the pouring rain just to try and put the others mind at ease, to let Kai know he'd got here safe. But, he clearly didn't care.
'Okay,' is that all he really had to say? 'Okay'?
"Have you even missed me?" Ray weakly asked, his voice being somewhat drowned out by the rain beating down on the dirt track he was on.
"What kind of question is that?" Kai chuckled, but it was dry.
"Yes, I've missed you .Why do you think I sent you three texts practically begging you to call me as soon as you got there? I started to miss you as soon as walked through to the damn security." he admitted, loosening his tie as he started to feel uncomfortably vulnerable the more he poured his heart out to him.
"As much as I have fucked up here Ray, I care about you and want you safe. I'm not that much of an asshole believe it or not!" He spat quickly, trying hard to reel it all in before it got to the point he couldn't.
"Then again, since you're there and I'm here, I must be!"
And there went the dynamite again, his words flowing out of him like an erupting volcano before he took in a breath.
Suddenly the weight of his guilt then came crashing down on him.
Whilst some of his anger was truly meant for Ray and what he'd done, a portion of it was aimed at Tala, but the brunt of it all was mostly frustration for himself and how he could have been so stupid to begin with.
No wonder Ray was tired of him, had ran off the first chance he got. All he did was work and lash out at him and everyone around him when things didn't go his way.
He had never deserved him, and Ray certainly didn't deserve all he had done and said.
"Of course I've missed you Ray.. I love you..."
Even though he said it, felt it, there were circumstances that screamed otherwise inside his head. Just when he had one foot back in the door he kept taking it out and shoving it back in.
"I'm sorry..."
At hearing a click and then silence Ray spoke out the others name in question, bringing the phone down in front of his face to check the screen before shouting in the receiver again.
"KAI!"
Did he hang up on him?
Pressing his name, he called him back.
No, he'd just lost signal, maybe? Yeah that was it, he didn't hang up.
Kai held his head in his hands with his elbows rested on his desk, the phone rattling against the wood with the vibrations from the call.
With tear filled eyes he involuntarily hiccuped as he pressed decline.
He couldn't speak to him. Not now. Not being the sniffling mess he was and especially not after all he'd done to him.
With the call being sent to voicemail Ray almost vacantly dropped his hand from his ear as he stared over at Beijing in the distance, the heavy rain now crashing down on him though he didn't so much as blink.
Were they over?
Looking down at his phone he wiped over his screen to try rid some of the rain water and clicked on to his notifications.
~You've been tagged in 2 photo's~
With him now seeing first-hand the picture that Mariah took of the two of them he could now understand why Kai was so upset with him. An outsider, who knew none the wiser, could quite easily have believed them to be a couple.
His own choked sob came from him before he yelled out in frustration and launched his phone away, the screen instantly shattering and fading to black once it hit the ground.
He turned on his heel, raging with adrenaline as he ran as fast as he could back to the village.
He needed to talk to Mariah. She must have done this on purpose. Knew how Kai would feel upon seeing that photo and knew exactly what he'd think of it.
Why hadn't she at least asked if it was okay? Or was that her plan all along?
Regardless of what feelings he'd harboured she had put in a lot of effort to convince him to come here. So had it all just been a set up?
Play on Kai's jealousy and have him break up with him, and then what? He and her get back together? Was that the big master plan?
He scoffed to himself at the thought, his sprint unwavering. He felt like he was clutching at straws here, his frantic thoughts having him come up with all kinds of warped scenarios.
He did know though that he was packing his shit and leaving as soon as he got back to the village.
He couldn't spend a second longer here knowing what he did now.
Fuck this place, fuck the elders,
Fuck everything!