Duncan was still speeding along in the dark but quickly losing steam thanks to his burst safety valve and was slowly but surely loosing speed. He hurried to get into a siding and roughly collided with the buffers at the end, not that he really noticed. Growling he slammed into it again, purposefully this time.
"Stupid fucking engines!" He snapped, tears suddenly springing to his eyes. He growled again, louder this time, trying to outweigh the sudden overwhelmingness he felt with anger. "Tell me what to fucking do and boss me around like everyone else does! Who are they to tell me how to act?!" Duncan was shaking with anger and clenching his teeth to the point they hurt. His eyes stung with welled up tears but he didn't want to let them fall and instead stared viciously at the ground.
"Go back to Scotland in-fucking-deed! Go back to the damn factory and get me arse beat for being a little shit! That'll make everyone happy won't it? T' see the fuck-up get the shite beat out of 'im? He'd deserve it, wouldn't he!?" Duncan practically screamed and the built-up tears slid down his face at once.
Duncan sucked in a shuddery gasp through clenched teeth and went to ram into the buffers again but found he was finally out of steam and couldn't move an inch. Cursing harshly, Duncan blinked up at the sky, trying to stop the tears falling from his eyes.
"I hate this stupid railway. I thought things would go well here, but I should've known they wouldn't! Bastards the all of them! See if I care! I'd rather rot out on this siding than talk to the likes of them anymore." Duncan huffed angrily for a few moments but his breaths grew more and more shuddery.
"Fuck they're really gonna beat me for that outburst aren't they…" Duncan winced. "I screamed at them and told them to go die, they'll have my buffers for that one. God, Manager was right, I really can't do anything without fucking it up. He's always right. If I just listened to him I wouldn't be such a letdown, he knows what's right and what's not and that's why he'd beat me bloody if I was doin' somethin' wrong. It's me own fault I got my metal caved in on itself, and when the others find me they'll cave it in again if they know what's good for em."
Suddenly Duncan couldn't stop himself and let out a short, cut off shuddery sob as twin tears rolled down his face. He couldn't hold back for long though as he started whimpering loudly as tears streamed down his face.
"W-Why am I crying? I-I deserve anythin' coming t' me! I fucked up! So why am I crying?" Duncan gave a harsh shuddering gasp. "I-I knew I wouldn't manage a day on this railway without ruining everything, i-i-it's no surprise no one'll like me after this! I-I-I'm getting what I had c-coming so I shouldn't be upset by it! Th-They'll give me something to bloody cry about!" Duncan's sobs grew hysterical and he was giving choked breaths as he couldn't stop the tears from falling.
"I don't want them to hit me, I wanna do things over again, I don't wanna be a failure anymore," Duncan wailed. "I wanna do good, I wanna do such a good job that there's no need to hit me but I always fuck up again! I was a fuck up in Scotland, I was a fuck up in the factory, and I'm a fuck up here too! I'll never be anything more than that so I shouldn't be crying about it like a little mairt!"
'Pathetic little cunt!' The manager swung the pipe again, it slammed into Duncan's side and he gave a stifled cry as the tears in his eyes spilt. 'Quit yer crying or I'll give you something t' bloody cry about you fucking disgrace!'
Duncan sniveled hard and did his best to muffle and stifle his uncontrollable sobs as it felt as though his very heart was hurting.
The cool night air swirled around Rheneas as he swept through the night looking for the little yellow engine. He knew it was getting late but didn't want to abandon his search and leave the little engine out in the rain overnight. Gentle but cold raindrops speckled and slid down Rheneas' warm boiler as he looked out through his lamp.
"Duncan! Duncan? I know you're out here, just answer back! I need to find you so we can get you repaired and back to the sheds where you'll be out of the rain!"
But of course, no answer came, and after giving a slight sigh, Rheneas continued his search. Rheneas really didn't know what to think of Duncan. One minute he'd be avoiding everyone's gaze and mumbling too low for anyone to hear and the next he'd be screaming enough to make everyone wince and cringe. The little engine was like a bottle of violently shaken soda, looking innocent and quiet but the minute the cap was off it was just a huge explosion creating a whole mess alone. And when Sir Handel got involved? It was like kicking off an active volcano.
And that was just a few hours ago. Duncan had also kicked his own driver out of his cab and deserted him to give chase. What could possibly make the little scot so angry at everyone? Rheneas just couldn't understand it. Sure suddenly dropping everything and going from Scotland to some small island off the coast of England couldn't have been very fun, but this anger was like some deep rooted weed that had long since clutched itself in the dirt and was just now finally being allowed to bloom. Today sure hadn't been a good day.
"Duncan!"
"Go away!"
Rheneas hadn't actually been anticipating a reply and flinched slightly at the harsh little engine's voice. It still sounded seething as he'd expected, but almost…warbly? Like he was speaking through a tremble. Rheneas felt the cold raindrops slide down his boiler. No wonder. It was freezing and wet out here.
"Tell me where you are, Duncan, I'm going to take you to be fixed up and then back to the sheds." Rheneas said. "Out here in the freezing rain is no place to sleep!"
Rheneas heard Duncan groan, "I don't want to go back to the Steamworks!" His voice had taken on a whine and the tremble grew worse. "I hate it there!"
"Well you've got to have your safety valve repaired and besides, it'll be a good place to warm up. You'll catch a miserable cold if you stay out in this weather overnight."
Duncan grumbled but said nothing as Rheneas finally stumbled on him.
"Ah! That's where you were, come on then!"
Duncan wasn't pleased at the idea of going back to the Steamworks and being fiddled and tinkered with again but was even more horrified when Rheneas backed up and coupled up to him. He felt his breathing speed up and hoped Rheneas couldn't hear it.
"Wh-What are you doing?!" Duncan said, sounding more panicked than he'd meant.
"Well I've got to get you to the Steamworks somehow and you can't move on your own,"
"B-But—" Duncan didn't know what to say. How was he supposed to tell Rheneas he didn't like being touched and that right now it was literally the worst thing that could happen to him? He closed his eyes and attempted to steady his breathing to try and ease the overwhelming sense of panic and unease swept over him like dark water.
He's going to hurt me. Duncan thought. That's why he's taking me to the Steamworks, they're going to give me a right beating for what I did, oh god he's gonna hurt me.
Duncan heaved in a few terrified, trembling, rapid gasps as he tried not to fall into a complete panic. He shut his eyes as tightly as he could and tried to imagine the rain washing all of his fear away. He just prayed that whatever happened at the Steamworks wouldn't be as bad as what would happen when he returned to the sheds with the other engines.