Chapter 5: Toriel, the Caretaker
After a couple more rooms and stumbling upon a Spider Bake sale, I came to an area with a dead tree with its red leaves all around its base. I looked at the seemingly ordinary donut in my hand. I had bought it from the spiders. I will tell you now: I am frightened by spiders. That fear is to a point of either finding the nearest blow torch and frying the arachnids in their stone chamber or running away as fast as I could. It was the ache in my belly that staid both of those responses. I was hungry. It has been, I don't know, hours since I fell down here. I was willing to chance these spiders for something good to eat. I mean, I've heard and read articles about some countries' people eating bugs as a part of their diets.
Besides that, I had actually found gold coins down here. Actual GOLD! Frisk and I could be set in my bank account up on the surface if I cash these in, assuming they have high karat quality. I used most of it to get a couple of donuts and 'Spider Cider.' I really hope that these really aren't made of spiders for how expensive they were.
Taking a cautious nibble, I found the donut gone. It tasted wonderful! And nothing like spiders! It was a fresh cake donut, my favorite. I took a cautious sip of the cider. It was, uh, no-fruit-I-have-ever-tasted-before kind of cider. I looked back at the glass bottle to see it empty. It was strange. I take a bite or a sip from food and drink and the rest disappears, but surprisingly, I am full.
I looked around. It seems as though the house in front of me is in use. The place was neat and orderly, nothing in too bad of disrepair. I trotted up to the star and touched it. The drop did not come. I wondered for moment, but brushed it off. If it –whatever it was- didn't want to do anything, then I'll just leave it be.
I really hope this 'Caretaker' is as nice as all those creatures assured me he or she would be. I walked up to the door, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. For a passing moment, I thought of Toriel. I haven't seen her throughout my walk here. She was really nice. I hope nothing bad-!
Speak/think of them and they shall appear!
We both stood there in stunned silence. For my part it was from connecting the dots and at how tall she really was. She must be at least six feet five inches! She towered over me!
"Oh my goodness, please come inside. You must tire from walking through the Ruins on your own. I apologize for that. I usually go for a walk to see if any humans fall down here."
I walked inside the house. I gave her a small nod in understanding. Despite being overly frustrated and worn out from my walk, I could feel myself relax at the comfortable atmosphere in the air. I was lead into the left living area. It had a table, bookshelf, a large chair, and a cozy fireplace.
"Please, have a seat at the table. Do you like pie?"
I pulled back a chair before pausing. Butterscotch-cinnamon pie. I remember eat some a couple of reruns ago. I wasn't a pie fan really, but Toriel's pie is tolerable. I nodded with a smile. I watched her bustle off to another room. I turned back to table and my seat. I thinned my lips as an old annoyance became clear. I climbed into my seat, my feet dangling in the air. Despite being a full grown woman with a child, I was still too small for some furniture. I gazed in thought at the pretty yellow flowers in a vase in the center of the table.
It was when I started to feel the pit of worry I had in my belly that Toriel came back with a clean slice of pie on a plate. I thanked her and took a small bite to be polite. I gave a sad smile.
"If you don't mind me asking, is anything wrong?"
I looked up into her kind and worried expression. I sighed and placed down my fork as the rest of the pie disappeared. I wanted to cry now that I have moment to take everything in. The hike, the confession, the attack, the fall, the reruns, the bleeding heart, the walk through the Ruins, everything happened so fast. Tears started to pool in my eyes as my lips trembled with repressed emotions. I raised my hands to cover my reddening face of emotions. I didn't want to want to feel so exposed.
"Yes," I whispered brokenly.
I hunch my shoulders and pulled my knees up to curl into a small ball. I need to compress my surroundings before I start hyperventilating.
Everything was going so well! Why did the MS have to come back looking for me?! Why can't they leave me and my family alone? I'm turning into a monster. Now Frisk is somewhere I don't know. They could be hurt for all I know, and I'm just sitting here crying instead of searching for them like I should!
I stiffened when I felt warm gentle arms encircle me. Toriel was hugging me. It was comforting, but…
"I'm sorry. It has been a really long and harsh day."
I don't deserve it. Not after what I put- am putting Frisk through. Toriel gave me a sad, understanding smile. She let me go as I rubbed away any more of my red tears. I uncurled and took a deep breath. Today has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I looked up at Toriel when she sat down again across from me. I shouldn't stay here any longer than I should.
"May I ask you something?"
Toriel gave me a smile and nodded.
"What would you like to ask?"
"Have you seen a child in the Ruins? They are about this tall with brown hair, and they should be wearing a blue sweater with two purple strips across their torso. We were hiking up the mounting when we were attacked and separated. I am lead to believe they fell down here before I did. The other creatures in the Ruins told me that you were taking care of them."
Toriel stiffened. She doesn't want to look me in the eye. I had a sinking feeling. I need to know where they are. I frowned when Toriel stood and took my plate. I stood and followed her to her kitchen area. There was a rather large pie with about a third of it gone.
"Please, I need to know where they are. I need to know they are safe. Please, do you know where they are?"
Toriel stood frozen by the sink with my plate still in her hand. I stood facing her back with a piercing stare. If she did anything to my child …
"What is your relationship to the child," She asked softly, almost afraid of my answer. My stare turned into a glare. My bad feeling worsened.
"I am their mother. Tell me what happened," I demanded darkly. A strange red light shined on Toriel's back. I could feel something slipping down my face. I reached up and touch my cheek, only to feel teeth. I clenched my jaw. Fine. Whatever.
At my words, she slumped over the sink and shook with sobs. My glare melted into a frustrated pensive stare. I could hear her whisper broken apologies over and over again. My tense shoulders dropped and tears came to my eyes. The red glow softening until it disappeared. I can't stay mad at her if she is like this.
"Please, I need to know, before it's too late for me."
She turned her head to stare at me in confusion and gasped. I probably don't look the greatest. Tears slipped down and through my teeth. They still tasted like the familiar salt water.
"I am dying, or probably already dead, but I am too damn determined to die without knowing that my baby is fine. I need to see it for myself."
Toriel stood before me with her paw over her muzzle to contain her probable mortification. I turned my head to stop looking at her. A crack snapped harshly in the air. Pain coursed through me. I doubled over and cough up the same dark sand on my hand and on her floor. Only this time, it was more refined, smoother. I felt her paw hesitantly land on my shoulder. The muscle there crumbled a moment, gray dust falling through my shirt sleeve and collar.
"They wanted to go home, so I let them through the door to the rest of the Underground. The only way out is on the other side of the cavern where the other weak point of the barrier is located."
I nodded. I let her guide me to the living area again. I sat back down on my seat again and waited for her to tell me more. Instead, she left and brought back more pie and a moist napkin. I stared at it and then her. She looked incredibly sad and guilty. She had a slice of pie of her own.
We sat in silence for a moment before I picked up the napkin to clean myself. After placing the used napkin on the other side of my plate, I picked up the fork. I didn't know how I was going to chew this without it falling out. I set the piece of pie on my tongue and was surprise to feel it melt away. I heard a giggle. I looked up to see a slightly happier Toriel. She took a bite of her pie too. I smiled as much as I could. A couple of tears steamed. I had cheeks again.
"I know I looked terrible, but thank you. Will you tell me more about what happened?"
She sobered and nodded.
"You will most defiantly not like afterwards. Quite honestly, I envy you. You are so strong to hang on for your child. I do not deserve your forgiveness after I tell you the tale."
My soft expression dropped. I motioned for her to continue or start the story. She did so looking nervous. I listened to her recall the moment she met Frisk. I bristled knowing that weed attacked my child. Next time I see it, I'll make sure it won't happen again. Toriel told me about the puzzles and the phone. My respect for Toriel dropped a little when she told me that she left Frisk alone in the Ruins to buy ingredients for the pie. She expressed her surprise and worry when Frisk found her at her home. With sad and guilt, Toriel spoke of her 'battle' with Frisk. My face blanked. Toriel rushed to explain why she did it. Something about someone named Asgore and souls.
When Toriel became quiet, I locked my fingers in front of me. I glared at the intertwined digits. My respect for Toriel had fallen low, but I also know that when Frisk has an idea, they are just about as determined as I am. I glanced at the crestfallen Toriel. She was staring at the flowers on the table, waiting for me to speak. I shift towards her, also gaining her attention.
"I will not forgive you nor will I forget this."
She nodded with serious understanding, looking resigned and a bit relieved. I softened my fierce frown as I continued to gaze at her.
"But, I know that Frisk can be as stubborn as I can be. Maybe when time has passed, I will forgive you for your reasons. I can understand that you wanted to protect them, but I do not approve of your methods. Please take me to the door out of the Ruins."
"I understand, but please, let me pack you another slice of pie for your journey."
I nodded and she busied off to do just that, with our dishes. I hopped down to walk to the stairs I saw earlier. I stood before the basement stairs and looked around in boredom. I saw something in the other hallway. It was shiny, reflective. I pursed my lips. I know I'm going to regret this.
I walked down the hall pass the doors until I came to the hall mirror. I stepped in front of it. I couldn't see it. I furrowed my brows. Wait, I shut my eyes. Alright, open.
I took a sharp inhale at what I saw. I was extremely pale with bruises under my eyes. My eyes were a dull blue yellow. My hair was still wave curly, but it lacked the blonde luster it had making it look brown, like Frisk's hair. My skin looked sunken in a bit, like I haven't eaten in a couple of weeks. I still had my muscled but there were sizable dents where they crumbled before healing.
I glared at my reflection. MS made me this way. Those MageScientists are going to pay when I see them again. I started when my eyes flared a shiny crimson. I started to cry glowing blood. No, I can't do that with violence. It will solve nothing. I must be greater than them. I must not stoop to their level. I may be a monster, but I will not be violent. I will take care of this with what little patience and compassion I have.
I clenched my jaw. My crimson eyes flared with DETERMINATION. A far off blip sounded somewhere. I didn't notice the drop, but at the moment I didn't care. This image will not deter me from my promise. This will change nothing. I will make sure Frisk is alright.
Even so, I raised a hand to hide my trembling lips and chin. My eyes dimmed back to the dull blue-yellow. I turned away from my reflection. I don't think Frisk would even recognize me anymore.