A/N: Anyone sick of my user yet? All these updates and it isn't even Christmas anymore...
For those that haven't seen, myself, Lux and Roy did a daft side chapter featuring Bryan and the Ivanov's Christmas diner - It's called 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' - so if you fancy having a see of the dynamic between the Kuznetsov siblings and our Tally be sure to check it out on my profile xD
Also gonna be the last update from me for a few weeks as I fly out in two days to be reunited with a good friend of mine after 5 years.
For those following my lil 'Long Distance' ficlet that will be my main priority upon my return as the inspo I'm sure will be flowing outta me!
Finally - Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2020 is a good one for all of you.
See you soon.
K~
Chapter 14 – Red or Black
"Place your bets gentleman."
Kai had no idea how long he'd been sat in this casino for now. He knew he was down around ten grand but with his company earning that every ten minutes or so it was barely worth furrowing his brows over.
It had been two weeks since Ray had confessed to sleeping with Mariah and the entire time since then had been a silent blur for both of them.
Ray was back to working at the restaurant and Kai was pretty much living at his office now. And that was his actual office at headquarters, not the one at home. Even if he was able to work from the house on a particular day, he would always choose to drive in to the city just to avoid being at home and around Ray.
It was getting ridiculous really. He'd finish work at his usual time of around six, but then would often stick around to do a few hours over time, or he'd go to the gym some nights, the bar others, or like this particular evening, the casino.
He couldn't be in a room with Ray for longer than fifteen minutes without envisioning him balls deep in the pink thing. Her trampy claws running through his luscious locks and him clearly not giving a second thought about him.
How could he have done? If he'd have crossed Ray's mind for even a second surely he wouldn't have done what he did?
And he had the nerve to say he'd missed him… Hilarious.
Swirling the last mouthful of whiskey around his glass, Kai lifted it to his lips, throwing the remaining amber liquid down his throat before placing the tumbler back down on the roulette table's edge.
Within seconds a young cocktail waitress dressed in a fitted white shirt, a tie and black trousers promptly came over to collect the empty glass.
"One more, sir?" she timidly asked him, her teddy bear brown eyes awaiting his usual silent response as she picked up his glass and placed it on her circular tray.
Kai gave a single curt nod and kept his eyes focused on the roulette table in front of him. He'd already had a fair few 'one mores' deeming the last one his last one and the one before that his last one also, but he had no intentions of going home just yet and had specifically left his watch at the house this morning to allow time to completely evade him.
Almost mindlessly he threw a thousand down on black and a handful of chips on various other numbers across the board and saved the waitress a glance once more, completely ignoring her as she placed his fresh drink down beside him and quickly made herself scarce.
"No more bets," the dealer firmly announced as he raised his right hand.
The small white ball flew round the roulette wheel, skipping along the numbers, teasing being settled in a pocket for a moment before being flung around once more and finally stopping in a red coloured compartment seconds later.
"14 Red…14 Red," he stated in a clear tone as he placed a heavy glass marker on the number 14 on the board, promptly collected up all of the losing piles of chips and handed over any winnings to the other several men stood around the large rectangular table.
"Not so hot tonight are ya, Hiwatari?" An older man taunted, taking a puff of his cigar as chubby hands raked up his winnings and threw a smug smirk in Kai's direction.
Kai's expression remained deadpan as he took a sip of his whiskey, acting as if the large man hadn't uttered a single word to him.
Another man, more of a lanky build then chirped in before taking a sip of his own alcoholic beverage.
"He's gotta be down at least what... a good several thousand now?"
"Business must be booming if he can afford to just throw it away." Another hard faced man chimed.
Like a jealous pack of high school girls the group of grown men continued to bitch and sneer amongst themselves, their words not even making it to Kai's ears now as crimson eyes followed the white ball that had been thrown around the wheel once more.
"Place your bets gentleman."
Red or Black.
Why did it all have to come down to red or black?
Several years ago, back when he was a teen, he'd had to make the same choice.
Red or Black.
Dranzer.
Beautiful flickering ruby red flames that had illuminated his life for as long as he could remember. Familiar, warm, comfortable. The spirit that he could always count on to be there for him. Completely at ease with that ball of glorious energy - No question of loyalty - he could trust her with his life.
But then Black Dranzer came along...
A smouldering dark inferno that was new to him, unsettling, yet dangerously exciting.
Enticing black embers that upon having a mere taste of such power, sparked a whole new meaning to the word desire within the depths of his soul that he just couldn't ignore – couldn't resist.
Kai's eyes narrowed as he glanced from his diminishing pile of chips to the numbers printed on the table.
Why did he have to choose?
Why couldn't he just... have both?
If you place a chip on both red and black in a game of roulette you couldn't exactly lose. It was either going to be red or black...
But this was real life. With real people… who had real feelings...
Why did it matter if he kept that dark energy on the side though? Call upon it when he saw fit?
It was just sex! He didn't even like Tala! Truth be told he found the whole idea of him morally repulsive. His personality irritated him more than Tyson ever did. The only feelings the redhead sparked within him were crippling guilt and regret, so why couldn't he stop thinking about him?
He'd not seen the redhead since the night at his office. The night before Ray called wanting to come crawling back home with his tail between his legs. The same night Kai had gotten a mere sample again and was left starving for the main course.
Tala had texted him a few times since that night; sent the odd thirst trap photo, and it wasn't long before he'd been resaved in his phone as just 'T.'
Admittedly, after everything he now knew, Kai entertained the flirtations that came from him just that little bit more now.
Welcomed them in fact.
Finding out about Mariah caused something in him to snap and view what he'd done in a whole different light. He still felt guilty of course but couldn't shake off the feeling that what Ray had done to him was just so much worse.
Ray and Mariah had history first of all. So how could Kai even be sure if Ray's feelings had ever died down for her? Had they ever stopped fucking since they broke up?
Secondly, Ray was stone cold sober when he did what he did. Completely aware of his actions so it was hardly a 'mistake' like he'd claimed.
Whilst it was a pathetic excuse, if an excuse at all, Kai could barely have been considered in charge of himself the night Tala took him. He couldn't even recall everything! And what he could remember he'd originally wanted to forget, he honestly did. But a part of him now was clutching to those broken memories of that night of passion and the morning after like his life was depending on it; like they were his tickets to the twisted revenge show.
It made him feel better to think he and Ray were on even ground so kept everything he had done engrained in his mind; The smell of Tala's cologne deeply set in to his nostrils. The feel of his spiked scarlet hair between his fingers. The warmth of his fair skin…
[x]
"We should do this again sometime, been fun," Tala called out fresh from his shower as he sauntered back down the stairs, pulling on the same now dry black hoodie he'd originally come over in.
Seeing the redhead reappear at the bottom of the stairs Kai threw him a dirty look before his eyes went back to his laptop. For a second then he'd almost forgotten he was still here.
"Will you just fuck off already?" he responded in a jaded tone.
With a smirk Tala joined him again in the living room and stood behind where he was sitting on the couch. He just loved pissing this kid off.
Leaning over he wrapped his arms around Kai's neck and rested his face beside his, cheek to cheek, having a nosey at what he was doing on the laptop in front of him.
"Really? Work? On a Sunday?" he scoffed, cocking a red brow. "Don't you ever just chill?"
Kai ignored him. Ignored the alluring natural scent of him too and the tingle he felt along his skin the second Tala's arms wrapped around him and continued to tap away on the keyboard.
Sure he 'chilled' - Sometimes.
But he figured he'd keep his focus on something else other than what his boyfriend was possibly doing that was stopping him from calling and the disgust he currently had for himself for being so easily led astray.
Though, it was becoming increasingly hard to concentrate with a dog literally breathing down his neck.
Unfolding an arm, Tala reached over and pressed the laptop lid down shut with a single finger causing Kai's hands to retract towards himself and make a quick escape. He dropped them down on the laptop with a huff and his deadpan expression said it all whilst he silently plotted a murder.
Either immune or oblivious, Tala planted a quick peck on his cheek just to add more fuel to the brewing fire and unwrapped his arms completely to ease himself up from the back of the sofa.
"I'm leaving, be a good host and see your guest out," he coolly said, continuing to prod the bear as he made his way to the front door. "Or have we lost our manners again?"
Kai rolled his eyes as he moved his laptop from his lap to the space on the couch beside him and stood up.
If he just played along with his stupid games he'd leave faster, and then that would be it, he'd never have to see him again.
Plan.
Walking past him to the front door Kai unlocked it and swung it open before he grandly gestured with and outstretched arm for him to leave.
"Goodbye Tala."
The redhead gave a single nod of his head as he spoke back with a sickly sweet smile, "Been a pleasure. Like I said we should do this again some time."
"Mhm." Kai's expression remained plain as he humoured him with the low hum of a sarcastic agreement.
Just play along… Just play along...
Tala then turned to walk out the front door but with a swift change of direction cupped Kai's face and pulled him in close, his lips millimetres from his own before Kai registered what was happening and abruptly pulled his head away, shrugging him off.
Tala tutted at the rejection.
"What, no kiss goodbye? Come on Kai don't be like that, you know you want just one more taste before I go... You'll regret it if you don't." His voice purred out, low and seductive as he stepped closer to Kai again, stroking a finger down his chest.
It was then Kai made the poor decision of taking a dangerous glance down at his lips just as Tala slithered his tongue over them leaving a shine. He knew he should just tell him to get out again but that sheen looked real inviting. Maybe if he just-
-No. He needs to be strong dammit! Enough was enough!
'You'll regret it if you don't.' The only 'regret' he had was letting Ray convince him they needed the yard doing in the first place. The derelict mess it was before was just, FINE!
"Just go Tala," Kai managed to get out, swatting the fair hand off of his chest.
Tala sent him a smirk before disregarding him completely, cupped his face again and pressed his lips softly against his. He knew this was what Kai wanted. He was just too damn stubborn to admit it. But like he'd told him before, he could read his body, and all of the signs were there. He saw him take a curious glimpse of his lips, and he saw how those pupils dilated. Kai wanted him just as much as he wanted Kai so why try and take the moral high ground? They'd already fucked, why didn't he just give in to his clear desires?
It's not like Ray had just miraculously reappeared on the doorstep so stop fighting it already!
As his lips touched his, Kai couldn't help but melt into it. His limbs suddenly gaining a mind of their own as his hand made its way up to Tala's face and pulled him in closer. He opened his mouth immediately after to allow their tongues to dance together once more, the taste of him being a flavour he was beyond familiar with now. The damage was already done so he may as well just enjoy it while it lasted… Get his monies worth so they say.
As they stood in the doorway Kai noticed that their kiss didn't seem as fiery and demanding as it had been previously... but slower, more, passionate?
Whilst their hands were roaming trying to feel the other over their clothes it wasn't in the same hungry nature he'd grown somewhat accustomed to with Tala.
He wasn't complaining however, he was a good kisser either way, he – OW! Did he just bite him?!
Taking a step back Tala wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smirked as he watched Kai's look of anguish and instantly check if his lip was bleeding with both his tongue and his fingers.
"Prick!"
"That's so you don't forget me," Tala added, his smirk unwavering as he turned to step out the house, calling over his shoulder as he made his way down the paved drive to his car. "Til next time gorgeous!"
With a disgusted sneer Kai slammed the door, pressing his fingers to his lip again and checking them for blood.
[x]
Kai's curiosity had been more than satisfied in those 24hours! The stint in his office was just a bonus! He'd liked the look of Tala whilst he was over working at the house, ended up fucking him - there! Done! He should just be over it.. But it was admittedly the best sex of his life and he couldn't imagine not having just another slice of the pie..
He placed the remaining stack of chips he had in his possession all on red.
Better the devil you know, right? His number one.
Only in his case, choosing red meant continuing to play Russian Roulette and everyone knows how that dangerous game often ends…
After several seconds the white ball settled.
"1 Red... 1 Red..." the mousey blonde dealer called out, placing the glass marker on the number one and instantly pushed over an immense pile of coloured chips into Kai's corner of the table. "Congratulations sir," he then added with a genuine smile. "Shall I get this all cashed up for you?"
Mr Hiwatari never usually stayed for much longer after a big win. He knew when to call it quits, and having frequented the place every other night for the past two weeks the staff had become more than accustomed to the CEO's routine.
Kai simply nodded to him before downing the remainder of his whiskey. The liquid no longer burning as the few glasses he'd had prior had already numbed his throat.
Placing the empty glass down he picked up several of the coloured chips from the pile before him and placed them on the table's edge beside the dealer.
"Thank you sir," the male said with a polite bow of his head in gratitude and casually moved the five grand tip to one side that he would cash in after he finished his shift.
He did love it when Mr Hiwatari came to play.
Kai then picked up a single coin from the pile, walked over to the large man with the cigar looking dumbfound and dropped it into his shirt pocket before patting on it twice.
"Get yourself something nice."
His voice dripped with sarcasm as he walked away from the roulette table leaving the group of men gawking at the pile of winnings over where Kai was stood just a moment ago. At an estimate it totalled around 85 thousand?
Pfft, who aint hot?
Kai meandered around the casino with his hands leisurely sitting in his trouser pockets, his white shirt unbuttoned at the top and tie-less as he'd left that along with his suit jacket in the car. The bright lights of the twenty or so slot machines lined up reflected in his tired and slightly blood shot eyes.
Taking a glance over at the poker table he thought against starting a game, deeming himself too mentally drained to focus on card strategies right now. Whilst he really didn't want to, he knew he should probably head home. It had been a long day having worked for thirteen hours and then coming straight here.
Having got the all clear from the manager that his roulette winnings had been sent via direct deposit straight into his account, Kai sluggishly made his way out of the casino, dragging his feet along like a child not wanting to leave the playground as the glass door was opened for him by a tall suited host.
"Goodnight Mr Hiwatari," the man at the entrance said before sending him a warm smile. "Maybe just go straight home tomorrow though yeah? Don't think the place can afford to keep paying you out like this," he then gestured at the building behind him with his head, a small chuckle escaping him.
Kai gave a small laugh through his nose before unlocking his Mercedes.
"Can't make any promises," he replied with a small smirk of his own as he opened his car door and slipped inside.
Lifting his water bottle from the cup holder, he took several large gulps in an attempt to clear some of the alcohol from his system for the drive home and took a glance at the clock on the dash to see it had just turned midnight. Ray should be asleep by now so he wouldn't have to face him for another day at least when he got in. Hopefully anyway.
How long were they supposed to go on like this? It had turned so sour between them and he hated it but couldn't control how he felt about Ray now.
Kai knew that with things as they were they should just break up. Call it a day. This, if you could even call it a relationship, wasn't healthy in the slightest, for either of them, and he couldn't bear to even look at him nowadays but he didn't want to end it. He couldn't imagine himself being with anyone else...
Why couldn't he just let what Ray did with Mariah go? Technically he'd already got his own back, so why did he still feel like he needed some form of revenge?
If he fucked Tala again would it make him feel better? Could he move on then? The alcohol in his system convinced his mind that it was worth a shot at least. Fuck it. Maybe he could send Tiffany home early one day and he could take him properly in his office. Have him straddled over his desk like he'd had Ray a fair few times before when they'd first started dating, back when everything was new and exciting.
Or maybe he could go and see his place...
It wasn't right for Kai to keep shitting on his own doorstep. He could see if Tala put the money he got for the work he did in the yard to good use and see if he had some decent décor at least.
Though let's be honest he didn't give a fuck about what colour walls his bedroom had.
Hmm... maybe he could get him to stare at his wedding photos whilst he fucked him the same way he made him look at Ray's image, and see if he could strike the same nerve.
I promise to be your ever faithful, honest and loving husband...
What a crock of shit. Imagining those words coming out of the redhead's mouth was almost comical. It was a surprise Tala hadn't immediately burst in to flames as soon as he stepped foot inside the damn church.
He wouldn't trust that guy as far as he could throw him, but some poor sap of a woman had complete faith in him and believed every bullshit lie that came out of that pretty little mouth, his performance on the phone to her proved that...
Pulling up into the driveway Kai frowned at the soft glow of light that was radiating from the glass in the front door.
Was Ray still awake?
Unclipping his seat belt he took a glimpse at the clock again - it was almost twelve thirty now. Maybe he'd just left the light on when he went to bed? Please say he's just left the light on…
He eased himself out the car and reached for his suit jacket he'd slung on the passenger seat and held it draped over his right shoulder before softly slamming the car door to a close.
Ray's ears pricked at the sound and too took note of the time.
With a light sigh escaping him he placed his book down on the glass table in front of him and took a hold of his tea, taking a sip and holding it close as a means to comfort himself.
This was it. This was the night he was going to confront him. They couldn't go on like this anymore, it was getting ridiculous!
Every single night for the past two weeks Kai had stayed out way past his working hours and most of the time reeked of booze. Couldn't he see what he was doing to himself?
Placing the key in the door Kai slowly turned it and pulled down the handle. The light from the living room radiating all that brighter along with the golden eyes that had immediately locked with his.
"Morning," Ray quipped as Kai just stared at him.
Setting his cup back down he motioned at the couch for him to come sit with him, moving himself over so as not to have Kai think he'd jump him.
Kai tutted, closing the front door behind him before begrudgingly making his way into the living room. Clear disappointment sitting on his face knowing he was going to have to make some sort of conversation with him tonight. Couldn't exactly avoid him now...
"It isn't that late," he retorted under his breath, draping his jacket over the back of the couch and remaining standing beside it with folded arms. "Why aren't you asleep?" he added with a frown almost like he was scolding a child.
Trying his best to hold a neutral face Ray stared at him, much like how Kai had at first before his own sigh passed his lips.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" he questioned in a soft tone, "And it's late enough, has been every time you come home now."
Kai rolled his eyes. Who was he, his mother?
"Doing what Ray? Working?" his tone was a complete contrast to Ray's own. "I don't need this as soon as I get in the house so if you're gonna try start with me I'll just go back out," he bit, gesturing over his shoulder towards the door.
"You work in a brewery now?" Ray asked with a hint of sarcasm in his tone, his brow reaching up as he looked Kai over. "I'm not starting anything with you, I'm trying to stop you from hurting yourself here."
Kai scoffed, his expression scrunching up into a sneer. "So I had a few after work, so what? You're so fucking dramatic."
Turning on his heel he walked away from him, out of the living room and started to make his way up the stairs. He wasn't dealing with this. He worked hard, and if a few drinks helped him sleep at night so be it.
Throwing his head and body back into the couch, Ray let out a long sigh before a small curse passed his lips. Covering his eyes with the palm of his hand, his concern and worry for him getting drowned out by the anger he felt suddenly bubbling up inside his gut.
He had no right, not anymore, but the last thing he wanted was to see Kai and his car wrapped around a tree and if he kept doing this...
A shiver ran down his spine at the image alone. Enough was enough.
"Quit punishing yourself for my mistakes!" he yelled out to him, his hand falling from his face as he slapped the cushion of the couch and stood.
Opening their bedroom door Ray's words, as faint as they were from downstairs, hit Kai like a ton of bricks and caused him to pause in his tracks.
Was that what he was subconsciously doing? Falling back into his old habits because he felt he needed to punish himself? Not for what Ray had done of course but for what he had decided to put them both through?
Pfft. No. He just wanted to numb himself somewhat after a hard day's work. That's all it was. Shit wasn't that deep.
There Ray went again with his melodramatics.
He wouldn't ever fall down that hole again. Sure things were bad but they weren't that bad...
Unbuttoning his white shirt Kai took out his phone from his pocket that had just vibrated and stared down at it.
T: [U awake?]
Ray gave it a minute, who knew how far Kai was gone at the moment and the last time he was far too many in it hadn't ended well for either of them. He didn't need a repeat.
Slowly, almost carefully he trailed after him up the stairs, coming to standing in their bedroom doorway as he leaned into it with his shoulder, pulling his arms around himself as he stared at the back of Kai's head.
"Do you even care that you can get hurt doing this? Every night you've come home driving while intoxicated, is it your life's goal to make me sick with worry all the time about you?"
Kai near enough jumped out of his skin, his hands fumbling to catch his phone that had almost slipped through tipsy fingers and quickly swiped off the x rated image that had just been sitting on his screen. What was a faint voice from downstairs a second ago had become significantly louder and clearer as he shot back to look at Ray now stood behind him. He didn't even hear him come up!
Shoving his phone back into his trouser pocket he cleared his throat before speaking out, his voice laced with bitter poison.
"I think we've established Ray that where I'm concerned it's out of sight out of mind with you. So don't pretend that you sit here even remotely worried for my wellbeing whilst I'm gone."
Though he looked to have regained his composure Kai's heart was pounding in his chest still at just how close Ray was to potentially seeing what he'd just being ogling at on his phone.
Tala had had all day to message him. Why choose now when he'd just walked through the bloody door?!
Ray gave him a dumb look, scoffing at him as he gestured behind him.
"Oh, so me actually sitting down there is me pretending?" he asked with another slice of sarcasm in his tone. "Oh, and oh my god let's not talk about who had to turn around last night and make sure you didn't choke on your vomit."
Kai's lips parted but promptly closed as he turned his back to him again and continued to unbutton his shirt. Pretty sure Ray had said he wasn't going to start with him yet here he was! Clearly starting with him!
Shaking the shirt off his broad shoulders he silently continued his nightly routine, balling it up and chucking it in the laundry basket and stepping past Ray into the en-suite bathroom, throwing his trademark scowl his way.
Should've just started that poker game...
"How long?" Ray called loud enough Kai could hear him with an eye roll that went ignored.
"As long as I want," Kai muttered out like a sulking teenager as he ran the tap to start washing away the day.
Splashing the cool water over his face a few times he blindly grabbed for the towel off the hook to the side and with scrunched up eyes rubbed it roughly over his face. Dropping the towel haphazardly back on to the side of the bath he leaned onto the sink and stared up into the mirror before him.
A drop of water fell from his slate bangs as he took note of the darkened circles under his eyes that were growing more and more apparent as the days went on. They say alcohol makes people look three times more attractive but even with the minimum amount in his system Kai was looking anything but hot right now. Deep down he knew Ray was right in all he'd said but… Whatever.
Taking his phone back out of his pocket he clicked back onto the text thread and couldn't help smirk a little again at the photo that had been sent over.
[K: Can't talk.]
[T: Y? Cat's still up?]
Sending a simple 'thumbs up' emoji Kai reached over for his toothbrush and placed the phone on the side of the sink as he put on the toothpaste. A moment later his screen illuminated again.
[T: U can't quickly return the favour?]
Kai's smile deepened as he almost considered it, the upturn of his lips causing a thin stream of toothpaste to escape the corner of his mouth. He was alone in the bathroom after all...
[K: Tomorrow... If you're good.] He decided on and got a winking emoji back on his screen in response.
Spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing his mouth out with water he wiped his lips with the back of his hand before opening the bathroom door and stepping back into the bedroom. By the time he had come in and out of the bathroom, Ray was placing a waste basket down at his side of the bed, had ran down in time to get him a glass of water and had it up on the bedside table.
"I don't know how many more times you want me to apologize, or keep thinking that I don't love you. But I'm not gonna stand here and do nothing about you doing this to yourself." Ray said without looking back at him, setting everything he had grabbed down before he backed away from it. "So stop it before you kill yourself," he begged.
Kai spared him the eye roll that was threatening to appear as this evening he was actually sober enough to notice all the small gestures Ray had laid out for him. It almost seemed like this was a regimented routine for the other male now.
Waste basket, water, pull down the sheets so he could just collapse on top of the bed.
He appreciated it of course he did... Wasn't gonna say it though.
"Alright," Kai sighed out, the hint of frustration clear in his voice.
Ray didn't look convinced at that simple 'alright', there wasn't anything 'alright' about this or what Kai was doing to himself.
"No, no you don't get to just 'alright' me! That's not how this works and you know it! How many times, Kai, have I had to hold your goddamn hand to pick your ass off the floor? How many times have I gone, laying here holding your head up so you don't choke and die on me because you want to throw out all sensibility and drown out your problems!? If you want to punish someone so badly, I'm standing right here waiting!" he yelled as he threw his arms out to either side of him.
What he was expecting, he wasn't really sure, but whatever it was he felt he deserved it down to his soul.
Kai's expression remained unreadable as he looked Ray over. His crimson eyes not even blinking as his hands made their way to his trousers where he unbuckled his belt and slowly pulled it out from the loops.
Ray stared in a bit of shock, a wave of heat washing through him while his brain tried to think of a scenario that went with that simple movement. Two of them were good, the other was anything but. And he wasn't sure if he really wanted to wait around to find out which one Kai chose.
Yet, he said he was right there, ready to take whatever it was as his hands fell down to his sides while his heart threatened to break out of him.
Casually chucking the leather belt on the drawers beside them Kai turned and searched for some sweat pants inside one of them.
"Fuck you think I'm gonna do, hit you?" he questioned, pulling out the pants and unbuttoning his trousers with one hand as he stared back at him bored.
"No, not really... Then again I wouldn't blame you," Ray answered in a slight mutter, pulling at his hair from his face.
"Go get ready for bed Ray," he sighed out, unable to suppress the eye roll any longer. He had no patience for people's pity parties on the best of days never mind under these messed up circumstances.
"Just..." Ray stopped, already worn out from repeating himself as he went to move for the bathroom. "Just please stop," he said in a breath, leaving Kai there like he had to him and shut the bathroom door behind him.
Kai stared at the closed bathroom door for a moment, Ray's last words cutting him somewhat. He knew that he was referring to the late nights and the drinking but the way he just pleaded to him right now made him think of something else he should really stop. Whilst his current actions were suggesting otherwise, he did want to fix this.
Switching into his sweats Kai edged the waste basket away from his side of the bed with his foot. Wouldn't need that tonight at least.
He took a few sips of the water Ray had gotten for him and set the glass back onto the bedside table before flopping himself on to the mattress with a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. That awful feeling of guilt circling round his stomach again. He let his head roll to the table once more and frowned before easing himself up and stepping towards the drawers to have a feel in his empty trouser pockets.
Where was his-
Wide blood shot eyes immediately darted towards the closed bathroom door.
Shit.
Halfway with brushing his own teeth, his hair out and down his back, Kai's phone lit up as it sat on the side of the counter. The only thing Ray saw was the letter T and that it was a new text message. The only 'T' he knew of was Tiffany, but why on earth would she be messaging so late into the night?
Another went off a few seconds later as he finished brushing, apparently whatever she needed to tell Kai was important.
Half tempted to open it and look, though knew not to cross that line at the moment he quickly finished with brushing his teeth before taking up the phone in his hand and coming back out into the bedroom.
Before handing the phone to Kai, he moved the waste basket closer to the bed and stood up with the phone out to him.
"Left it in there," Was all Ray said, passing it off to Kai before going to the dresser for a change of clothes himself.
Kai stared dumbly at him from where he was still stood, his heart skipping a beat as he quickly made the conscious attempt to not straight snatch the phone from his grasp and just held out his hand for it as casually as he could.
"Thanks..."
"Tiffany is texting you late tonight, she okay?" Ray asked, pulling out his clothes.
Walking back over to the bed Kai moved the waste basket away once more before getting back onto the mattress and frowning.
"I don't know? Why, what'd she say?" he asked looking down at his phone. Why would Tiffany be texting him at this time?
"Oh I didn't open up the message, it just buzzed whilst I was in there and I just glanced at the screen," Ray casually explained as he pulled his nightshirt over his head. "Presuming 'T' is Tiffany right?"
Clicking on the screen Kai gave an almost too quick of a nod, "Y-Yeah, course it is."
Not even bothering to read the two texts fully that had come through he held down the power button and placed the phone face down onto to bedside table before grabbing his glass of water to rectify his now dried up throat.
Ray made his way over to the bed and eased himself onto it watching him the entire time, after a minute or two of silence he tilted his head before cautiously speaking out.
"You uh, not gonna reply to her?"
"I'm sure it can wait until morning Ray."
Though he was starting to sweat Kai got himself under the bed covers and nestled down with his back facing towards him.
"Seemed to be something important though since she messaged twice at this time of night..." Ray pressed, he too getting underneath the sheets but kept his distance from Kai like he'd done since their first night he'd dared to sleep in the same bed as him, his focus on his bare back.
"Well it probably isn't so quit worrying about it and go to sleep!" Kai bit over his shoulder, his tone remaining as cold as his blood now as he could feel Ray's eyes all over him.
Ray shifted a little, taking the tone like a knife to the heart. He wasn't sure if he could really blame the drink right now for how Kai was speaking to him and reminded himself this was just what he got for what he had done. Why he had even came up to the main bed instead of taking himself to one of the guest rooms was beyond him now. He should've just kept his distance.
"Okay..." Was all he said, his voice getting weaker as Ray picked up his book from his bedside table and found himself inching closer to the edge of the bed.
Kai remained silent, he too shifting underneath the sheets and though he looked comfortable he was anything but as he instantly regretted his sharp tone the second it passed his lips.
"Night..." Ray then breathed at him, not looking away from his book.
Despite being tired he wasn't really ready to lay down beside him like this again, every night so far had been torture and he found himself as close to the edge of the bed as he could get away from him, making them seem miles apart and cold from lack of body heat.
How much longer they'd be able to keep this up, he wasn't sure, but he could feel himself starting to crack.
"Night, I guess," Kai muttered back to him though unlike Ray he wasn't tired at all now. Every ounce of alcohol seemed to have drained from his system as a million thoughts ran through his mind as he laid there staring over at nothing.
After several minutes with the bedside light still glowing and the sound of a paper page turning, Kai rolled onto his back and took a glance over at Ray who seemed a ridiculous distance from him in their king size bed.
"You don't exactly look like you're going to sleep..." he uttered out.
"No... I was just... Saying that to you... Thought you were going to sleep," Ray answered as his head snapped to him, not really wondering why it was so hard to talk to him like this was their first night sleeping in the same bed all over again.
"Not really tired," Kai stated, tucking the arm closest to Ray up behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling now.
"Oh... So… What's happening tomorrow?" Ray dared to ask, referring to the message preview that he'd briefly seen on Kai's phone screen when he picked it up.
"Hn?" Kai's head turned to face him again. Tomorrow? He had a meeting at 10:30 but that was about it...
Ray's head gestured towards the face down phone on Kai's bedside table.
"I briefly saw Tiff mention tomorrow... looking forward to it or something?" he mumbled, his attention falsely going back to his book as he tried to slyly dig for the info. He still found it a little weird that Kai didn't reply and had just turned his phone off like that.
A wave of anxiety washed through him once he realised what Ray was referring to now.
"Oh.. Uhm," Kai stuttered as he racked his brain for something to say back to him, simultaneously cursing himself - Of all the times for him to be careless with his phone!
Suddenly it then dawned on him that the real Tiffany had actually spoken to him earlier this afternoon trying to organise this damn double date with Bianca and Tala for tomorrow night.
"She uh, was asking if you were free Friday night, but it doesn't matter, so don't worry about it," he reeled off trying to dismiss this entire conversation.
Ray arched a brow, setting his book down on his lap. "Why is she asking about what I'm doing?" he pressed.
Kai shifted. Clearly he'd said too much already and the curious cat Ray was he wasn't going to drop it now.
Well.. Might as well give some truth to this tale...
"The other night when I was working late she came back to the office and she had a friend with her. Said friend is the wife of… That guy who did our garden," he awkwardly said after a brief pause, feeling slightly sick now, though he knew it wasn't from the alcohol. "We got talking and a double date was suggested.. But I think she was just trying to be nice so I'm just going to politely decline."
Ray blinked at him a few times. When was the last time they got out of the house together, or even had the word 'date' come up?
"What're you doing tomorrow night? I'm free."
Kai turned his head to face him again, his expression contorted slightly.
"You're not serious?"
"Why not, have nothing better to do," Ray shrugged at him, "Plus, when was the last time we went out together or with anyone? And he seemed like a decent enough guy, why not try and make a friend out of it?"
Kai scoffed as he turned his head away from him. "I don't need any more friends Ray."
He couldn't believe he was actually suggesting this. The thought of having both Ray and Tala in the same room just screamed awkward. Honestly he'd rather stick pins in his eyes.
A smile that had no business being there crept up Ray's face.
"Yes you do," he said as he playfully nudged him with his foot under the covers. "Tony didn't seem like that bad of a guy, kind of reminded me of you a bit."
Kai's head snapped back to face him once more as he lifted himself up on to his side.
"He's nothing like me!" he barked out at him.
How could Ray even think that? How many years had he known him now? Eight? Ten? And he really has him down as a cocky, arrogant little prick?!
"He's- Wait... Tony?"
"Is that not his name?" Ray asked as he couldn't get his smile off his face, Kai's slight outburst only fuelling it.
Kai paused. If he corrected him how would that come across? Would it make him look guilty? Too interested?
In Ray's eyes he'd not seen Tala since the day he'd finished the yard. Would a normal person remember someone's name after that time frame? Ugh. Best not risk it.
"I don't fuckin' know.. pretty sure it wasn't Tony though..." he said, hopefully convincing enough and shuffled back down onto his back again.
"Tiff didn't give you the name of the guy she's trying to put us on a double with?" Ray asked a bit slowly as his brow rose again.
Kai tensed again. Curious little kitty tonight wasn't he?!
"Sure, but I didn't care to remember it since we're not going," he sassed back. "Surprised you don't remember his name since he's so nice of a guy."
"Why aren't we going? You asked me, and I want to go," Ray pouted slightly at him. He had no real place to be making demands at the moment, but they needed to start getting a hold of their relationship at some point if Kai just wasn't going to call it off.
Kai rolled his eyes. Why the hell did he even bring this up?
Could've just said Tiffany was wanting his morning coffee order or something. There. Why did that idea not come to him ten minutes ago?
"Why? He's just some guy who did the yard, Ray. Why do you want to go?"
With a long sigh, Ray plucked his book off his lap and set it on the table beside him. Shifting under the covers and rolling on his side to face Kai he held in a breath, letting out slowly as he went over how this needed to come out.
"Because I'm getting tired of this, the distance that we have right now. I know why it's there, and I understand it, but if we're not breaking up then we need to figure out how to step forward from this," he said with a small gesture between the two of them, pulling his hand back down and under his head and pillow.
"We can't live like this for the rest of our lives, going out even if it's with the gardener and his wife I'll take it if it means we're taking steps forward."
Kai pressed his lips together as he thought of an adequate excuse in response though no words would come. Ray was right, and he could see that he really was trying to make amends. The small gestures like bringing him water to bed. Making his lunch and ironing his shirts for work. Kai had noticed it all. Desperately trying to fix the two of them whilst he was apparently just wanting to destroy them further...
Hell, the kid must be desperate if he was willing to go out to dinner with two complete strangers in an attempt to make baby steps with their relationship... Just why did it have to be those two strangers?
If he continued to put up a fight with this it'd look like he didn't want to sort this between them, but that wasn't the case at all. Of course he wanted to fix this but sitting across a table from the guy you're fucking on the side was not the way to go about it...
Seemed like he had no other choice though but to grin and bear it. Hopefully Tala would have the same thoughts and he could somehow stop this absolute shit storm from going ahead.
".. Fine.." he sighed out in his defeat.
Ray stared at him, that 'fine' didn't seem fine at all but what more was he really looking for here? Hell if he even knew at the point in time, everything was fucked thirty degrees west and yet this was a chance to make it right.
"Okay..." Was all he could really give back to him after that, debating if he should roll over or not now that it was done or stay and look at him.
Feeling Ray's eyes still on him Kai tilted his head to face him.
Once upon a time he used to love the thought of people tip-toeing round him but not now. The uncertainty and hesitation he could sense from him was awful. He hated knowing Ray felt like that now, that he couldn't get too close for fear of having his hand bitten off.
"C'mere," he sighed out with a quick tilt of his head.
For whatever reason that word alone made Ray's heart skip a beat and shatter at the same time, though did what Kai had said almost hesitantly. Scooting himself from the edge of the bed and to the middle where he stopped, was he allowed to get closer? Was this as far as he could go or did Kai want him all the way beside him? If he wasn't so unsure he would have just flung himself at him, not gave a care, but as familiar as this was it was also new and terrifying. And even worse, he still wondered why he had done this to them to start with.
Kai cocked a brow at him before blinking a few times. Why did he stop? He'd just welcomed him with open arms. Sure it'd be the first hug they'd shared for.. a while now, but they had to just rip the band-aid off at some point right?
"Do I smell or something?"
Ray chuckled, "I mean, I can smell whiskey on you."
Taking Kai's words as an invitation to get closer, already his legs under the covers searching out Kai's and entangling with them, he slowly reached out and ran his hand up Kai's chest to where it came to settle over his breast bone. Feeling him breathe under the palm of his hand, he had missed this.
Automatically wrapping the arm he had behind his head around Ray's shoulder Kai pulled him in close and nestled his face into loose black hair as he breathed him in. He too had missed this but the closeness wasn't settling the underlying bout of anxiety that sat in his stomach now at the thought of seeing the redhead in the flesh again under these circumstances.
He'd hoped he could just keep him as a flirty text thread to pass the time… Who knows what tomorrow was going to bring now? What it was going to spark?
Placing a kiss on Ray's head he could tell he had dozed off after a few minutes though Kai just laid there. His guilty mind keeping him awake for hours before sleep finally took him at 3am.
They could get through this... They had to get through this.