4
"What happened?" Jack asked, shifting so he was facing him.
"Her car went off the road. She was driving back from visiting my grandparents. The police said she probably fell asleep at the wheel."
"Must have been late."
"It was," Ianto said, struggling to keep his composure. "She was coming back because I had the lead in the school play the next day, and I wanted her to be there."
On the heels of grief, came guilt. The twin emotions had taken up residence inside of him so long ago, until they'd become a part of his soul. Most days, Ianto could shove them both aside. Tonight, everything felt more raw and exposed.
A sound of protest came from Ianto's throat, and Jack squeezed his hand. "Ianto, it wasn't your fault."
How had Jack zeroed in on his albatross so easily?
"If I hadn't been so selfish, my mother wouldn't have been on the road that night. Maybe it was punishment—"
"No." Jack turned him toward him. "Ianto, life doesn't work that way."
"How do you know?"
"It's my business to know."
"Really? Are you an angel after all?"
"No. I'm all too human," he said. "Please tell me you haven't been punishing yourself all these years. Is that why you sacrificed yourself for everyone else?"
Ianto opened his mouth, to deny his assertion, only he couldn't. "Oh my…"
"What?"
"You're right," Ianto said, in stunned amazement. "I didn't stay to help everyone. I made myself into a martyr out of guilt. I can't believe I never saw it before."
"Sometimes we can't see what's right in front of our faces."
"I am such an idiot," Ianto huffed. "I stayed home rather than go away to college to help raise my siblings. I ran the house, and worked with my dad at the church. I wasted my life for nothing."
"Now, wait a minute," Jack said. "How can you say that? What are your siblings doing now?"
"Beatrice and Bianca are both early childhood teachers and Brianne is a pediatrician" Ianto said, feeling as proud as any parent. "My oldest sister Rhiannon is married and a stay at home mum for now to two little cherubs. Brianne with two as well. Bea just got wed."
"So, they're successful and happy, raising families of their own," Jack said. "I'd say you had a lot to do with the way they turned out. I doubt they'd say you've wasted your life. They probably worship you."
"There were days when I'm sure they hated my guts," Ianto said, laughing as he pictured Brianne at fifteen, arguing that she should be allowed to have a belly ring.
"They didn't always take kindly to me trying to mother them. To them, I was just the bossy, big brother. The only brother, the girls all so … delicate and they needed me. Rhiannon, the oldest was already gone when mama died."
"No, you were their savior. The one put on this earth for the express purpose of holding everyone together until they could do it themselves. I wouldn't call that nothing, and you shouldn't either."
Ianto's heart started hammering as he stared at him. "You make me seem like a hero."
"Maybe you are. Lord knows, I don't have much experience with people who stay when things get rough."
"What do you mean?" Ianto asked, wanting to know what had brought this man to his little patch of grass.
He opened his mouth, but then seemed to stop himself. "You don't want to hear my boring story now."
"Of course, I do. I don't want to feel like I'm the only one who is messed up."
"Trust me, you are not alone there, and I want you to trust me that you'll find the place you're meant to be."
"So, you can see the future as well as rescue hapless, stranded men?"
"I haven't done that much actual rescuing," he said, eyes twinkling under the light of the moon. "You're still stuck out here, after all."
"Yes, and I'm sure John Henry has given up on me by now. So much for my first big adventure."
Letting out an exaggerated gasp, Jack put a hand to his heart. "What? Sitting on the hood of your car in the dead of night with me isn't an adventure? I'm hurt."
"It's not exactly a hot date," Ianto said, laughing at his wounded expression. "No offense."
"Well, I am offended," he said. "You think I can't show a boy a good time?"
"I don't know. I'm so out of practice, it probably wouldn't take much to impress me. I even had to ask my sister for fashion advice."
His gaze shifted down.
"I think I love your sister," Jack said, his voice rumbling deep in his chest. "God bless her."
The pounding music from Deke's shifted suddenly and the soft strains of the old Kenny Logins Christmas ballad about celebrating him coming home drifted across the river.
Jack glanced over his shoulder. "Look, they're playing our song."
"Kenny Logins?" Ianto giggled. "The king of romance?"
He didn't join in the laughter. Instead, Jack slid off the hood and held out his hand. "Dance with me, Ianto Jones."
"Out here? Are you crazy?"
"You insulted my manhood," he said, crooking his finger. "At least let me prove you wrong."
A statement like that deserved an eye roll. "Your manhood? Really?"
Jack ignored his protest and reached over, plucking him off the car. Ianto stiffened and tried to pull away.
"Relax," he said, smoothing a hand down his back. "It's been a long time for me, too, but I remember this is supposed to be fun."
What harm is there in a little dance under the stars?
Releasing a deep sigh, Ianto settled into the rhythm as Jack shuffled his feet. Closing his eyes, Ianto let the music carry him. Before long, he forgot they were on the side of the road. Forgot his dead car and his blind date that may or may not be waiting at the restaurant. He rested his head against Jack's chest and let himself enjoy a truly one-of-a-kind moment.
Ianto could feel his heart beating, seeming to wrap around him.
"Ianto…"
"Hmm."
Jack lifted his chin. "If I was your blind date I'd risk swimming across the river or anything else to get to you."
Ianto took in a sharp breath as he lowered his head.
Then beams of light cut through the night, surrounding them in a blinding flash, like an alien ship about to beam them aboard.
Ianto jumped as the lumbering shape of Mr. Williams' tow truck appeared.
"You have got to be kidding me," Ianto muttered. "Five more seconds. That's all I needed."
"Five seconds?" Jack echoed in exaggerated disbelief. "You really do have a low opinion of me. I hope I could do better than five seconds."
Ianto glared at him, frustration and embarrassment battling for supremacy. "I don't know you. You might be a terrible kisser."
The truck door opened, and a giant ox of a man got out.
"Ianto Man…what in the world are you doing all the way out here?" Mr. Williams noticed Jack and the motorcycle at the same time.
"You okay, Ianto? This fella ain't causing trouble, is he?" he asked, sending a suspicious glance toward Jack.
"This fella is Jack, and he saved my life," Ianto said. "I forgot my phone, and he was kind enough to lend me his, and then stay with me till you arrived."
"Oh." Mr. Williams relaxed and held out a hand. "Sorry if I offended, but Ianto here is like my little brother."
"No offense taken," Jack said, accepting the handshake. "I'm glad I happened to be here. I don't like to think what might have happened if he'd been stuck out here all night on his own."
"Too true," Mr. Williams said, nodding as if Jack had said the most profound statement of all time. "You should always have a phone on you, Ianto. Can't be too careful."
"I'll never forget my phone again."
Mr. Williams got right to work and before Ianto knew it, before he could talk to Jack again, his car had been hitched up and Mr. Williams was herding him toward the truck. He kept a wary eye on Jack the entire time, making it clear that even though he'd been helpful, he was still a stranger and not to be trusted.
Jack appeared at the door as the crusty tow truck driver was walking around to his side. "I think you'll be fine now."
"Thank you," Ianto said.
Jack tipped an imaginary hat. "Weren't nothin', mister. Take care, and stop beating yourself up for something you had no control over. Just go live your life. It's what your mother would have wanted."
"I'll try. Will I see you—" Ianto broke off the words. Will I see you again sounded so needy, but what did one say in a situation like this? Did he ask for his number? Offer his? Throw himself at him? There simply wasn't appropriate etiquette for an impulsive dance on the side of the road.
Mr. Williams hauled himself into the seat, cutting off any further conversation. He had the worst. Timing. Ever.
"Yes," Jack said from his side of the truck.
"Yes?" Ianto parroted, wondering what that cryptic word meant.
His supremely enigmatic rescuer arched a brow and gave him a lop-sided grin.
Mr. Williams honked. Jack, wry smile still in place, tilted his head in acknowledgment of the clear dismissal and stepped back. Ianto kept his gaze on him in the side view mirror until the tow truck went around the corner.
Taking Jack out of his life as suddenly as he'd entered.