6
As they passed the kitchen, Mary Cooper suddenly appeared. "Oh, Ianto, be a dear and help me with this platter," she said, clamping a hand on Ianto's elbow.
Ianto had no choice but to follow. Not if he wanted to keep his arm. "Of course, Mrs. Cooper. Which platter?"
"Never mind the food." Mrs. Cooper ran a critical eye over Ianto's attire and then began fussing with his white shirt.
When two buttons came undone, Ianto slapped at her "What are you doing?"
"Oh, stop looking so aghast." Mrs. Cooper shoved Ianto's hands out of the way. "You'll thank me in two seconds."
"Why?"
"You'll see."
So saying, the older woman spun Ianto around and shoved him toward the door leading to the patio. Ianto walked outside, stumbled over his feet, and fell.
Five men and three women let out a startled cry and rushed forward. One man reached him first.
"Are you all right?" he asked, hunkering down next to him, bright eyes assessing for injury.
Ianto looked up into the eyes of Biker Man. "What… you…I don't…"
"I did say we'd see each other again," Jack said, giving him lopsided grin.
Ianto's father knelt by his other side. "Honey, are you hurt?'
"No broken bones. Slight loss of dignity. No change there then." Swallowing said pride, Ianto allowed Jack and his father to help him up.
"Ianto, you took quite a spill," Mr. Cooper said. "Do you need a doctor?"
"Not unless he can repair a bruised ego," Ianto said, taking a moment to dust off his clothes and get his mind back in order.
Jack was here. In Mr. Cooper's home. Apparently conducting the final interview before being presented to the congregation.
Had Jack known who he was last night? He'd had that odd reaction when he'd given his name. His stomach twisted as an awful thought assailed him. What if the whole encounter had been to soften him up? Not the stopping to help part, of course. Obviously, he couldn't have known he'd be on that particular stretch of road, but the flirting and the dancing and the near kiss? Had all of that been just for show?
Mrs. Cooper stepped into the fray. "Reverend Harkness, would you be a dear and help me bring out the other trays? Ianto will show you the way to the kitchen."
At least now Ianto understood why the older woman had been fussing with his clothes. Mrs. Cooper was clearly in set-up-the-pathetic-old-virgin mode.
Ianto wasn't sure he should go anywhere with Jack, but he had other ideas. "Of course," he said, pulling him inside.
"Whatever you're thinking, the answer is no," Jack said, the moment they were out of earshot.
Ianto shrugged off his hand, and hurried toward the kitchen. "How do you know what I'm thinking?"
"I can practically see the questions scrolling behind your eyes," he said, following close on his heels. "Ianto, stop running."
Ianto whirled around. "Did you know who I was last night?"
"Yes, I recognized your name—"
"Why didn't you tell me who you were then?"
"Because I didn't want to break the spell."
"The what?"
"I was afraid if I told you why I was coming to Cardiff things would get awkward."
"Awkward how?"
"Would you have opened up to me if you'd known I might be the man to take your father's place?"
He had a point. Would he have told him about feeling left behind? The guilt he'd carried over his mother's death? "I don't know."
"That's why I didn't say anything."
Jack reached out, but he jerked back again.
"You let me humiliate myself," he said. "Why? So you could get your kicks? Did it make you feel like a man to seduce the pathetic old nerd?"
"The last thing you are is pathetic, and the man I met last night is nowhere near being an old nerd. I can't believe you'd think that about yourself."
"Welcome to the real me," Ianto said, spreading his arms wide. "Boring white shirt, suit with waistcoat and spare pants, my hair—"
"You're beautiful."
Ianto rolled his eyes, even as his heartbeat sped up. He told himself not to fall for his seductive lines. "You don't have to keep trying to charm me. I'm not stranded on the side of the road anymore. Cinderella has disappeared."
"Hello?" Mrs. Cooper poked her head around the corner. "Everything all right in here?"
Ianto bared his teeth in what he hoped was a convincing smile. "Everything's fine. We'll be right out with the food."
"No, no, take all the time you need," she said, waving a hand. "You two carry on. Get to know each other. We can wait."
Mrs. Cooper disappeared again.
"I think we should name our first child after her," Jack said, watching the empty doorway.
"Excuse me?" Ianto gasped. "What child?"
His eyes danced with devilish humour. "The one Mrs. Cooper so obviously thinks we should have together. A nice surrogate, maybe mix our jizz so we don't know who the father is?"
Ianto tried to ignore the way his entire body jolted at the thought of having Jack's body and soul as his, but failed utterly. He could swear his arse cheeks actually stood up and applauded the notion… as did the dick twitching in his pants. Shit.
"Don't be ridiculous," Ianto said, telling his organs to sit down and shut up. "People don't fall…we were together for about forty minutes."
"Sometimes that's all it takes."
"You're crazy." Ianto picked up the tray. "We have to get back out there. Everyone will start talking, and I have a reputation to maintain. I am the church secretary, after all."
"All the more reason for me to take the job," Jack said, waggling his eyebrows like a villain in an old melodrama. "I consider it one of the best benefits of the job."
"Stop it. You're freaking me out. We're not getting married, and we're not having babies. We are strangers."
Jack started laughing.
Ianto stared at him in bemusement. "What?"
"I wish you could have seen your face," he said, still chuckling. "I should be offended that you looked so appalled at the prospect of a little Jack Junior."
Ianto released a gush of air. "Oh, you were teasing?"
"Of course. We just met, right? We couldn't possibly have started a real relationship on a deserted highway three weeks before Christmas." His tone was light, but a sudden seriousness in his face said something else. Ianto nodded, even as his dick gave a deep sigh of despair.
Knock it off.